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by Macout Mann


The Congressional Record may be the weirdest publication on the planet. Although not the official journal mandated in the Constitution, The Congressional Record does appear to be a true transcript of the sessions of the Congress, and most people think it is. But no.

For one thing there is a section called "Extension of Remarks" which contains speeches that are never made, but which are printed as if they were. Even, however, when a member does actually address the House or Senate, he may (and usually does) request to "revise and extend," a request which is always granted. In 1988 there is no way a reader can tell if what is in the "Record" was actually said on the floor.

So it is that a short statement by the Junior Senator from Missouri is made.

"Information has come my way suggesting that certain activities at summer camps for boys might become the subject of a Senate Investigation."

This sentence, when it appears in the "Record," becomes a diatribe against summer camps, Camp Lookout in particular, camps that countenance homosexual activity. That boys who stand up for American values are summarily sent home. Case in point: the senator's very own son.

Ordinarily that would have been the end of it. But the statement in the "Record" comes to the attention of the Senior Senator from Alabama. Senator Benjamin Graves went to Camp Lookout in its early years, and Malcolm Partridge is both a friend and supporter of the senator's. He rises to defend the camp, where he spent wonderful summers in his youth; and he says that "his honorable friend from Missouri is mistaken," which in Senate-speak means "he's a lying bastard."

And yes, that also would normally have put the whole matter to rest. But Senator Graves' p.r. aide thinks that the senator's statement is a good demonstration of how the senator "takes up for Alabama." He sends out a little press release in hopes of getting a little publicity.

WJSU in Anniston is the closest television station to the camp. In a slow news week its news director, seeing the press release, decides that a trip to Camp Lookout might be in order. WJSU's General Manager, who had been a major-market television newsman before moving into managment, also thinks the story has possibilities. His son also has been a camper at Lookout. So he calls Malcolm Partridge and arranges for a film crew to visit.

The result is a feature introduced by the station's anchor, who explains Senator Harwood's accusation and Senator Graves' response. The footage that follows features shots of the camp, Chester Huff's telling about the camp's anti-bullying policy, and Winston's being interviewed about how "one of our least athletic campers was repeatedly demeaned and called names, until the offending camper had to be sent home."

In response to a very pointed question, Winston responds, "We cater to every type of boy, the weak as well as the strong. Only bullies will accuse a camper of homosexuality. Homosexuality is not an issue at Lookout."

The interview with Winston is shot with Winston standing on the lakeside dock. There is an establishing shot showing Winston wearing cutoffs, but his responses to questions show just bare skin from his navel up. Every gal in Northcentral Alabama has to be thrilled. Some guys too.

The station is a CBS affiliate and has provided footage for the CBS Evening News before. The General Manager thinks the story is well enough done to be worthy of national exposure, so a truncated version is submitted to the network. It appears as a segment toward the end of an edition of the Evening News. It is introduced by Dan Rather.

And that's how what normally would have been a spat confined to the pages of The Congressional Record becomes a national news story.

The night that the story runs on CBS Roger Merrill, Winston's junior counsellor, delights in chanting, "I've fucked a t.v. star," and "We all know why homosexuality `is not an issue' at Lookout, don't we?"

There is suddenly great national media interest in the camp. Malcolm decrees that there will be no further interruptions to Lookout's normal activities. He gets the sheriff to post a deputy at the entrance to keep reporters out. The only source of "new" information becomes outtakes from the original WJSU footage, which the station is happy to sell.

William Stanton, the Cherokee Senior Counsellor, had also been interviewed, but his footage had not been used in the original story. His moment of fame comes on NBC. At Chester's suggestion he did not appear bare chested, but his sleeveless shirt, which is left unbuttoned, does add interest to his statements. Senator Harwood is invited to comment, but he is unavailable to both the networks and the national newspapers. Senator Graves is happy to reiterate to one and all what great experiences he had as a lad at Camp Lookout.

The furor is short lived. As it dies down, the end of the camp's first four week session looms.

Malcolm and Chester cuddle.

"You'll have twice the number of applications next year," Chester says.

"I hope not. We already have more than enough," Malcolm replies. "But I don't have nearly enough of you."

Across the compound, Winston and Roger are doing more than cuddling.

"Now I've fucked and am being fucked by a t.v. star," Roger moans. "A gay camp is so special."

Winston pulls his dick out of his friend's ass.

"Huh?!" Roger exclaims.

"You go over to Cherokee and ask Bill to put his dick where mine's been," Winston demands.

"He'd beat the shit outta me!" Roger exclaims.

"So welcome to the real world."

Copyright 2015 by Macout Mann. All rights reserved.