Date: Wed, 11 May 2011 01:05:09 +0100
From: darnemoon@gmail.com
Subject: I'm Not Dying Chapter 2

I'm not dying!
By Darne Moon.

I'm not dying! is an adventure tale that contains graphic sexual content
between men. If you are not permitted to read such content please refrain
from reading any futher. I currently dont have an editor, and do have
dyslexia so please be patient with gramatical mistakes etc. This is the
first time I've written anything of this magnitude in this genre. If you
enjoy this first chapter of this story please let me know at
darnemoon@gmail.com, and I'm always interested in constructive criticism
comments and ideas.

Chapter 2

A lizard, a hen with two chicks, a dog, an owl and a Kuala bear are all
stood in a circle watching a pulsing red whole in the ground. About them
the world churns. Oceans rise and fall. Fire roars from great gashes in the
earth's crust. Ice and snow pelt what little ground remains, and yet
despite how close to doom the strange collection of creatures were, they
remained watching the hole. It throbbed and writhed, and from its flapping
mouth screams erupted like a volcano. Countless arms pushed their way out
grasping at the dry coarse ground around. The screams began to pulse. A
swirling mass of words poured into the world. Like a tornado they swept the
animals up and carried them across the churning sea of chaos. Upon the
horizon there rose a glittering island of crystal and rock, and as the
tornado orbited it they could see beyond the crystal pillars and into the
dark abyss of the world. A huge black eye stared up at them. It blinked.

I awoke thinking to myself: What the fuck. My dreams were getting stranger
by the day and had begun to alarm me. But they were the least of my
worries. In the week since the "Incident" Mum hadn't said a word. She
barely ate, barely even drank and that had never been heard of before. She
rarely left her room. I myself had been increasingly feeling like a
ghost. Helpless in a world thrown into madness. I had spent the days
tending to the garden, then in the afternoons I would prepare something to
eat and go up to mums room and try to get her to eat something. I then sit
just as she did in the kitchen staring out of the window or reading.

It was day break, the sun's golden rays filled my room. I rolled over
trying to hide my head beneath the covers. This didn't really work. The sun
was really quite bright! Eventually giving up I look to my computer screen
and have a ponder. Yep it was wank time I concluded. I kicked my duvet off
me and quickly typed in the password to access my computer. Within minutes
I'm loading up one of my favourite porn shots. The guy was slender and
smooth with sun kissed skin and sandy brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He
was wearing tight blue jeans and sat with his legs apart. Naturally he
starts to get horny as any self respecting twenty something in a room on
his own does. He begins to rub his quite ample package through the material
of the jeans. As he's just getting his sizeable cock out to give it a good
tug in walks his friend. Yeah that always happens to me. Immediately the
friend, who is quite a sexy muscular Chinese-American, drops to his knees
and starts sucking the main guy off. By now I'm quite merry wanking away,
slowly pulling on my 6.5 inches with my right hand whilst I tweak one of my
nipples with my left. I'm quite proud of my physique now, since taking up
gardening and being so ill I had lost quite some weight. I was never fat
but I've never been thin either. Oh... another friend walks in on the now
naked pair. He's similar to the first guy but taller with a huge dragon
tattooed on his shoulder. He immediately whips his dick out and thrusts it
into the first guys mouth. The Asian guy, who quite sexily is watching the
new guy face fuck the first starts to seriously pull on his dick, and then
so very clearly turned on he stands up and cums all over the bare chest of
the first guy. Uh oh. Now he's done it. The new guy grabs the Asian and
flings him onto the floor and mounts him. His dick dripping with saliva
from the first guy he penetrates the Asians ass easily, and proceeds to
fuck him at an unforgiving pace. The first guy then feeds his dick to the
Asian guy again. They spit roast the Asian guy for some time, and as their
just about to cum all over the now royally fucked hotty I shoot my load all
over my chest. I cum a surprising amount, and I just have to try it. I
scoop some up on a finger and give it a try. Yep same old tasting me.

I turn the porn off and slip into a dressing gown before I go for a
shower. I like early morning showers, they both wake me up and relax me. I
let the hot water pour over me and I begin to lather up. I like really hot
powerful showers. The type that feel like they could blast your skin
off. After I've washed my hair I step out of the shower and dry
off. Wrapped in my dressing gown I head down to the kitchen, passing mum's
room as I go. I hear a noise like a groan. Curious I think, and carefully
push the door open.

What I'm faced with takes me a moment to comprehend. There's Mum in bed,
but she doesnt look right. On the floor by the bed are packs and packs of
pill blister packs. There's my bottle of vodka... empty.

"Holy fuck!" I declare running into the room. I grab her about the
shoulders and shake. I give her a couple of moderate slaps and she groans
again, her eyes opening marginally. Dribble and a couple of dissolving
pills fall from her parted lips. "What do I do!" I cry, "What the fuck do I
do!" and then it hit me. That strange state of mind calm state of mind that
means your going to get stuff done. I stop shaking her. I look at the pill
packs, its a mix of household meds. I check her pulse and double check
she's breathing. Then I walk down the stairs to the house phone and dial
emergency services. With a benign placidity I describe the
situation. Hanging up I return to my room and get dressed. I turn my mobile
on and quickly text my dad:

Mums tried to kill herself. Rang ambulance, their on their way. I'm fine,
everything's all right. Speak soon. Love Al x

I then text my brother something very similar and I went to double check
the back door was locked, and then went and opened the front door. There I
had a cigarette and waited a couple of moments for the ambulance. I took
them up to her room. Watched as they checked her vitals and then as they
took her out on a stretcher. I followed, locking the front door to the
house and sat in the back of the Ambulance as instructed. I just stared at
her as we travelled to the hospital. The dragons sleeping, I thought, may
be forever. It was all a haze. Seemingly surreal. I answered all the
questions I could then began chatting to paramedic. His name was Frank, he
liked football (soccer) and BBQ's and was going to one after his shift. I
smiled and told him a recipe for a marinade that went really well with
steak. I realised at this point I was in shock.

Some ten minutes later we arrive in A&E and I'm shown to the waiting
room. I take a seat and begin to study the people around me. When on my own
in public areas and alcohol hasn't been involved at some stage I tend to
get a bit reserved and very psychoanalytical. I begin creating stories
about how they came to be here. I smile a young girl whose wearing a
cast. She turns away and clutches at her mothers arm. Yeah great times we
live, cant even smile at a kid without being branded a paedophile, I
bitterly remark to myself. Quickly bored of my people watching I turn the
literature available. Arthritis Weekly seemed to be the most readily
available, however a leaflet called Syphilis and Me touched a funny
bone. Forever seemed to go by and I decide I need cigarette.

I head outside and follow the signs to the smoking area. I light up and
stare at the small garden not far away. As I'm trying to deduce the
planting a male nurse about my age appears beside me in the unflattering
blue uniform and a black leather jacket. He's taking out a pack a
cigarettes and starts patting himself down for a lighter. I offer him mine
and he gratefully accepts. As he exhales a plume of smoke he says: "Your
Miss Moon's son aren't you"

"That's right" I reply non commitedly.

"They've just called for you" He says, "But don't worry, finish your
cigarette" Nodding I turn back to my investigation of the garden. "You have
her eyes... that's how I could tell"

"So I'm told"

"But not her nose" He adds distantly, "Got that from your dad I take it"

"Well I doubt it's from the butcher!" I retort. He grins. Wow, he has
perfect teeth, and ARSE I hadn't brushed mine this morning. Despite the sun
now quite high in the sky I'm shaking.

"Are you cold?" He asks, "Here take this" He hands me his coat, I politely
refuse and explain its probably the shock just working its way out. Moments
later we both seem to finish our cigarette at the same time. "Come on" He
says chucking the cigarette end on the floor and stubbing it out with his
foot, "I'll take you to your mum. Chewy?" He offers me a stick of chewing
gum. Aha! I take it and eagerly pop the white stick in my mouth. I follow
my new found friend into A&E and he guides me into a small ward just off
the side of the reception. There are six beds, two empty and in the far
corner I see Mum asleep by the looks of it. I plop myself down into the
chair beside her as my nurse picks up the clip board attached to the frame
of the bed. He flicks through the sheets of papers and smiles at me.

"She'll be fine, but the Doctor will want to speak to you both later. She's
just sleeping now, she's had her stomach pumped and will probably be quite
disorientated. When she wakes up we'll probably move her to a different
ward" He pops the clipboard back in its holder, "I'm Ian by the way, just
ask for me if you need anything" and he walks off. I'm sat feeling a bit
bemused. Other than the jacket and his teeth I hadn't really looked at Ian,
and how could I even begin to feel attracted to someone whilst my mum lay
in a hospital bed beside me. I shake my head at myself, I really can be a
selfish bastard sometimes.

A few hours pass, and Ian checks in on us occasionally. I take these brief
moments to properly look at him. He's handsome in a conventional
way. Angular face with dark eyes and black curly hair. Pale skin with broad
shoulders, but quite a thin body as far as I could tell through his
uniform. And the uniform... I'd never really thought of male nurses as
sexy. In my quite extensive experience of hospitals they all tended to be
fairly awkward looking guys, nice enough but never truly attractive. Ian
however was an exception. Then my overly critical mind began to debate Ian
and his apparent friendliness. Was he being so nice because he was
attracted to me, or was he nice because he was a nurse and he could see
that I'm just holding things together, and anyway is he even gay? It would
be a terrible cliché but one I could enjoy. I'm so deeply contemplating
this I'm totally unaware of his fifth visit.

"Still not woken up then?" He asks jolting me out of my inner discourse.

"No" I answer, I look up at his smouldering dark eyes, and I find myself
smiling. Surely this is all wrong I should be racked with grief all tears
and snot, but no here I am fawning over a male nurse. I realise I'm
staring, but notice he's also blushing.

"And the doctors not come then?" He pulls up the clip board again and makes
himself look busy.

"No" I repeat. I'm not winning any awards for my conversational skills
today it would seem.

"I don't think it will be to long" And he wanders off again, well I'm now
completely confused. I turn my attention back to Mum. After all its because
of her I'm here right. I gently push a rogue hair behind her ear and
smile. She looks so peaceful sleeping, and pretty despite her age. Very few
people believe she's in her sixties. Its a shame that deep down inside
she's a churning ball of fury and confusion.

"Ah" A booming voice declares, "Miss Moon, yes. Still not woken up?" I turn
to see whose speaking an enormous black man in a white coat is stood at the
foot of the bed, he's obviously The Doctor, a troupe of other men in white
coats and Ian are stood around him.

"No sir" Ian states, his charming friendly manner gone.

"Ah, well move her anyway need the space! You are you the son?" The Doctor
asks, his manner somewhat aggressive. My face stiffens and I confirm his
suspicion, "How did this happen then?"

"Well I'd imagine she took a shit load of pills and drank a bottle of
vodka. You don't need a degree to figure that out!" I declare somewhat
riled by the man's lack of consideration. The Doctor cocks his head
slightly, like a dog studying something it doesn't know whether to kill it
or fuck it.

"I mean, young man, does she have a history?"

"Well, I... I suppose so"

"Refer to psych ward then she needs evaluating" He turned and advanced on
another patient, Ian lingered a moment to offer me a quick reassuring
smile. This time I blush. Minutes later Mum's being wheeled away still
unconscious and I'm alongside her holding her hand I'm sure I can feel her
squeeze my fingers. A lone tear finally breaches my cheeks.

The psyche ward was a lot like any ward, completely contrary to the image I
had concocted of a series of padded rooms with heavy metal doors, huge
orderlies in white and severe old nurses with a cruel glint in their eye
and a penchant for pain. I'm almost disappointed, which on reflection is
quite wrong I should have be happy its nothing like that. After I've seen
she's settled, well wheeled into place I nip off for another cigarette,
accidentally on purpose walking through A&E in the hope Ian will follow
me. I'm disappointed when I don't see him and a little miffed I smoke the
whole cigarette alone.

As I walk back to the psyche ward I slip into the toilets and have a quick
pee before I check how I look. I'm wearing a pair of charcoal grey trousers
and a tight black tee which at the right angle makes me look quite trim. I
straighten my hair and suddenly remember to check my phone. Yep missed
calls galore. Dad, Charlie, Lee... that's odd. I hadn't heard anything from
him since that fateful night despite my two text messages. I send quick
updates to both my dad and brother via text but decide to ignore Lee till
I'm a bit more sorted. I also notice its 1PM and I realise I had had no
breakfast and was actually quite hungry. Shit. I hadn't brought my wallet.

A little grumpy at my stupidity I return to the ward. To find Ian waiting
for me by my mums bed. I approach smiling. "I thought you might be hungry"
He states producing a small tray of hospital food from behind him and
offers it to me "and I saw you didn't have a wallet on you". Involuntarily
I raise an eyebrow.

"So you checked out my ass then" I state nonchalantly as I take the plastic
lid off the plate. Oh goody, cold lasagne and over cooked veg. I glance at
Ian who is bright red with embarrassment and grin. Armed with the plastic
cutlery I tuck into my feast and I devour it with a passion, "So you do
this for every relative that turns up here?" Actually I think I'm up for an
award today for assertiveness.

"Erm... No"

"Oh" I try to smile at him seductively but that's not truly possible when
you've just stuffed your mouth with rather plastic tasting broccoli, but
who gives a fuck its food! It doesn't take me long to finish the meal, and
as I wipe my lips clean with a tissue I find in my trousers I thank
him. Not just for the meal but for everything. Taking the tray from me Ian
makes the excuse he's got to take the tray back and rushes off. I watch his
very sexy bubble butt disappear through a double doorway. At least if
nothing else I saw that. There's a groan to my left.

"Where am I?" Asks my mum blearily

"Hospital mum" And she bursts into tears. A nearby female nurse rushes over
to check we're all right.

"I'm sorry Al, I so so sorry. I just didn't know what to do. He's gone,
he's gone, and I felt so... lost" She was staring right at me with such
intensity I could barely hold her gaze. Her hand had somehow magically
found mine and her nails dug into my skin.

"OK Miss Moon, OK" cooed the nurse, as she encouraged mum to lie down
properly on the bed, "Your safe now, you all right" She pressed a button
that was attached to the drip leading into my mums hand. Mum's face relaxed
a few seconds later. The nurse asked me to follow her which I do, she takes
me just out of earshot of my mum, "Your mother is going to need to be
evaluated by one of our doctors, but we're also going to need to keep her
in for a few days, just to monitor her. She's obviously in quite a fragile
state and she'll be safest here. Is that all right?" She asks, almost as if
I cant argue, but I don't stating the truth I just wanted her well
again. "Now I suggest you go home and get some rest. You've had a long
morning and look tired" Again this was more a command than an opinion and I
cant help but agree. Smiling the nurse walks to the reception desk a picks
up a phone, "now shall I call you a taxi?"

"No need Nurse Jones, I'll take him home"

"As you wish Nurse Riley" I turn to find Ian stood at the entranceway to
the ward in biking leathers and a helmet under one arm. I look at him a
little startled and very turned on. He walked towards me, the thick tight
leathers creaking as he did.

"So where to?" he asks. I'm somewhat irritated by the assumption of today's
modern nurses but at the same time...

"Afondiwedd"

"Ah perfect on my way home!" I eye him suspiciously as a cheeky grin
dominates his face, how could I resist, "Come on then"

"Hang on, let me say good bye first" I rush over to Mum's bed. Take her
hand in mine and squeeze it before whispering that I'm just going to go and
check on the house. She nods slowly. Suddenly I feel my heart breaking and
I quickly kiss her on the forehead and walk away. The ache in my chest
nearly unbearable and I'm pretty sure my eyes are starting to tear up. As I
reach to the point where Ian is standing he somewhat surprisingly wraps an
arm around my shoulders and squeezes.

"Don't worry. She'll be fine" He tells me as we walk out of the ward and
through the hospital. Maybe sometimes a nurses assertiveness is a good
thing. He leads me out of the hospital still holding my shoulders, and
takes me over to the staff car park, and I see a gleaming black motorbike
stood near the little booth by the car parks entrance. It's was a stunning
replica of a Black Triumph Bonneville and I instantly fall in love with
it. I run my hand across the shiny black petrol tank, my fingers dancing
around the chrome Triumph badge.

"My dad had one of these" I say dreamily memories of my youth came flooding
back, "Yeah it was in bits in the garage!" Ian chuckles as he thrusts the
helmet over my head with such force I'm nearly floored, "Jesus! What you
trying to do kill me?" I declare as I try and gain my balance.

"Quite the opposite" He replies eye's sparkling.

"Hay where's yours?" I point out.

"The cool kids don't need helmets! Only the cute ones" I snort. OK, there
is definitely flirting going on interesting, "ever ridden pillion?" He
asks, I shake my head, "Right just well relax hold on tight, to my waist
and try and mimic me, but don't worry we'll be perfectly safe" I groan
inwardly, they are never good words to say around me. Sod's law is almost
permanently applied to me, and I swear the moment I meet this Sod, I'm
going to kick him in the nuts. I clamber on behind Ian and grip
on. Unbeknownst to my new found friend, I had actually done my CBT a few
years ago and I can ride but nothing like a Triumph Bonneville. I make a
mental note I really need to do something about my lack of a driving
license.

The ride was amazing, Ian was brilliant not one moment was
uncomfortable. Something I remember my dad telling me could be a
problem. The close proximity to Ian was amazing as well. Although I
couldn't as such touch him or even feel his body through the thick leather
it felt nice to be essentially hugging him as hard as I could. I took the
ride time to contemplate my situation. OK my mother had just tried to kill
herself. Bad news indeed, but out of that I had met Ian, which if I made an
assumption on all the signs thus far, I think he likes me, and hell I like
him, hell he brought me food. So there's a silver lining on every cloud,
despite how dark angry and thunderous it may be.

We seem to fly along the roads. The country side blurs past. I feel free,
like a bird soaring through the winds, all my stress and fear falling
away. All to soon we arrive at Afondiwedd and we stop at the little town
square. I start to climb off but Ian stops me with his arm. "Hay! I'm going
to take you to your door!" Grinning I point down a road and tell him its
the last of the three cottages on the right. Moments later we're there and
I'm allowed to dismount. I thank him gratefully and off him a cup of tea in
repayment for the lunch, he nods his acceptance. I remove my house keys and
go to open the door, but its open. That's funny I'm sure I locked it.

As I'm just walking through the door, Iam grabs my hand, spins me rough
grabbing me bodily and kisses me whilst walking me backwards through the
doorway. I'm so surprised I'm not sure what to do. Pressing me against the
rough stonework of the huge fireplace that dominates the little living room
he breaks the kiss.

"Sorry was that... a bit much?" He asks his eyes bashful but lusting.

"It is inappropriate!" Comes a voice from the kitchen doorway. Craning my
neck I see who it is, and its my brother Charlie crowding the doorway with
arms crossed and a furrowed expression.

"Charlie this is Ian, Ian this is my brother Charlie"

"Hi" Ian says raising an hand in a casual wave. Then realises he's still
got his body thrust against mine pinning me to the wall and leans back
embarrassed.

"I think you should leave" Charlie says to Ian. I'm just about to protest
but Ian agrees before I can say anything.

"Can I have your number?" he asks me, and I stare at him absently, brain
suddenly dead. A second later I suddenly understand and chastising my
stupidity I run over to a small side table next to the house phone and I
pick up a business card and hand it to Ian. He takes a moment to look at it
then laughs, nods at me with a wink and leaves shutting the door behind
him. Seconds later I hear his motorbike roar and he's off. I've never
craved for anyone more than I did right then. I turn to my brother fury
burning in my eyes.

"You dick!"

"Our mother is in hospital after trying to kill herself and your out
picking up guys! If anything your the dick"

"Shut the fuck up!" I tell him as I push past into the kitchen. His
girlfriend the ever smiling anorexic Sandra is sat in my mums seat. I have
got nothing against her except she's an officious cow, a snake in sheep's
clothing. I greet her casually, flinging open the liquor cupboard. Ah
that's right she drank the vodka. I begin to make a pot of tea instead.

"I don't want you to see that man again" My brother starts.

A cruel laugh escapes me, "Then I don't want you to see her again" I
gesture nonchalantly at Sandra.

"Don't be ridiculous!" My brother retorts

"Hypocrite"

"What did you say?"

"Hypocrate's, interesting man, believed to be the founder of modern
medicine. Charlie what are you doing here?"

"Oh erm let me think, your fucking text message"

"Oh so you were in the area? And you didn't think to pop in at any time and
see your dear old mum" I snarl as I pour the hot water into the glass
teapot.

"I love what you've done to the garden Alex" Sandra begins in a failed
attempt to break the tension.

"Keep out of this" I bellow at her. She looks affronted but this soon wears
off, she doesn't care about this family only its money. In fact its the
only thing both of them are concerned about.

"Don't you dare speak to her like that again!" My brother threatens waving
a finger at me. He's much taller than I am, with quite dark skin compared
to my pale complexion, and the jet black hair of my father but its already
turning grey.

"Oh don't make me out to be the monster here, you haven't spent the day
alongside mum's bed wondering if she'll make it, and what have you been
doing. Sitting here, drinking my tea, waiting for me, wondering how much
your going to get for everything. The pair of you make me sick. Vultures!
And for your information Ian was the nurse tending to mum, he offered me a
lift home because I didn't have my wallet on me. I doubt either of you
thought to ring the hospital to see what's going on. Did either of you even
think I might need a lift or something to eat or even a fucking cup of tea
when I got back. No. But look at me making my own tea, and thinking about
what I can make to eat, thinking about mum and thinking: Fuck, what the
hell's happened!" I retrieve a mug from a cupboard and pour myself a cup,
"tea anyone?"

I take a quiet moment to marvel at my handiwork. Both my brother and Sandra
seem to have been hit by a proverbial plank and are stood staring at
nothing in shock. "So..." I continue considerably much calmer, "sit down
and shut the fuck up and listen". I have them under my spell, and my
brother does as instructed. I lean against the kitchen counter and start
from the beginning, explaining the events of the week and day. They both
listen quietly, but I can sense the spell is wearing off, behind my
brothers cold grey eyes the cogs are beginning to turn again.

I finish my story at the point of leaving the hospital, and I drain the
dregs of my tea and pour myself another cup. I remain standing, and the
brewing silence is growing awkward. My brother shifted slightly in his
seat. I started dreading his next statement.

"How are you doing?" He asks. I have to admit I'm a little thrown by
this. I shrug. I realise this my brother playing up to his proclamation of
being my protector. Something I have never understood.

"I'm fine, I'm busy, and now I'm healthy. Thanks by the way for visiting" I
couldn't help that little dig.

"How's your finances?" He asks. This is an interesting statement. Years
ago, when my brother was setting himself in London and making no money, I
used to send him money, not much a hundred or so here and there. I was
after all stable in work. Now to some degree the tables had turned, but I
had my savings and though are now nearly depleted I refuse to accept
peoples charity. A month or so ago the White Lion had expressed an interest
in hiring someone to run their cellar. A position still unfilled.

"Low but fine, I've been offered a job up the road" I lie, they hadn't
offered it me, just mentioned it loudly in my presence. My brother eyes me
closely but he cant penetrate my lie defences.

"What you going to do now?"

"Ah the million dollar question. Probably get something to eat and have a
bath, clean up and maybe go for a drink with some of the guys" This was in
all likely hood what would happen. I smile as earnestly as possible before
opening the fridge. I was starting to get a bit annoyed they were lingering
and not even considering visiting mum in hospital. I remove some cheese and
find a box of crackers in the bread bin, "Why don't you go and visit
her. She's medicated but I think it will perk her up seeing you" I start to
shake again. Damn it another wave of shock finding an exit point. These are
going to come and go I can tell.

My brother eventually agrees and without further words he leaves, his bitch
girlfriend following. I'm cruel I know, but they deserve it, especially
her, the superficial judging mere. I open the patio doors and survey the
garden once more. I check my mobile phone, no missed calls, but a simple
text from Dad, asking if I'm all right. I reply saying yes and that
everything's fine and that I'm going to meet some of the guys for a drink
shortly. Which reminds me, I need to organize that. I type out a brief
message to James, who responds with a: Where the fuck have you been
stranger n sure drinks sounds good I'll gather the troops. 7Pm at the
White. Perfect just enough time to have a bath and sort myself out. I'll
probably need to vent a little before hand and schedule in a rant at the
mirror.

I draw a bath, the water pressure is comically low but the water so
ridiculously hot that by the time the water is a decent depth the water has
cooled to a hot but tolerable temperature. I have a good long soak, wash my
hair and all the usual grooming and hop out and dry off. Wrapped in my
dressing gown I tidy the mess in mum's room straighten her bed and decide
to approach my wardrobe. I swing it open and its a homage to black grey and
white. My favourite colours. I pick out a pair of black trousers with a
blue/grey pin strip, and a black creased effect shirt. I pick out my
favourite silver necklace and my very precious solid silver ring I bought
after I fell ill. I wear it to remind myself of all the reasons to enjoy
life.

Checking the time I have just enough time to have a smoke and sly glass of
wine before wandering up to the pub. I settle down at the kitchen table, my
wallet, phone and a generous glass of wine to the side of me and a
cigarette happily dangling from my lips when the strangest thing
happens. My phone rings, it actually rings out. Cautiously I pick it up and
see whose calling. It's a number I don't have and I begin to panic. Why on
earth is my phone ringing out. It shouldn't be doing that. In milliseconds
I debate my actions. Do I answer or do I not. I decide it must be fate, and
it could be some news about mum. Tentatively I answer it.

"Err... hello" I say

"Alex? Hi, didn't think you were going to answer then. It's Ian" Suddenly
my tension drops and I laugh madly. It was a brief chuckle but one that
would undoubtedly seem strange.

"Hi Ian. Sorry me and phones... its a long complicated story"

"I bet it is" he chirps, "So how did things go with your brother? Things
seemed to be a bit heated"

"Another long story, but things are cool"

"Listen... I'm off work for the next few days was wondering if you wanted
to go for a drink or something"

"Yeah, yeah of course sounds great, love to yeah... I'm just about to go
for a drink now, I mean if you wanted to join that would be cool. Going to
the White Lion you know the pub up the road from my house" I offer
tentatively, is this too eager. Fuck it who cares, I fondle the silver ring
I'm wearing, you only live once. There's a pause on the other end of the
phone. I hold my breath.

"OK Cool yeah, sounds good!"

"Or we could make a plan for tomorrow I have no plans other than going to
see mum probably"

"No, no, I'll see you later, looking forward to it" I sigh audibly with
relief and he laughs. We say our goodbyes and hang up. I look at my
phone. That was weird I think. I realise its just past 7PM. I stub out my
cigarette, drain my wine and go to meet my friends. They're already there,
clearly eager to have another "night of it" whatever it is. I laugh at the
usual greeting and order my usual pint of cider. I join my friends at their
table by the window and listen to the events of their lives since our last
meet. I notice the absence of Lee. For some reason I'm a bit disappointed
but then remind myself that Ian was coming and instantly feel better about
the situation. Gradually the conversation revolves around to me. I look
decidedly awkward for a moment before embarking on the days events. Their
reaction is appropriate, and in some cases extreme especially from Becky. I
receive the usual, "Are you OK's" etc and I assure them I'm fine. I then
change the subject and mention Ian.  Predictably I get the coo's and woo's
from the girls and James seems oddly surprised.

"You dog" He says with a cheeky grin, "So he's coming tonight?"

"Yep" I cant help but smile.

"Al..." Rachel begins, "You know Lee... you know when he stayed at yours
last week, did he say anything?" She was being earnest and her voice
dripped with concern. I suddenly feel guilty but hide it best I can.

"Erm no, not that I recall, we chatted a bit, catching up you know, then we
watched a film and passed out. We were pretty fucked" She seems confused by
this and looks out the window. I catch James looking at me. I cant decipher
his expression. Was it questioning, or all knowing. Did he suspect or even
know something had happened that night, thankfully a very loud and
incredibly pleasing distraction arrived. Even indoors the purring of Ian's
motorbike was audible, and there in front of the window we were sat at his
Black Triumph rolled to a gentle stop.

"Whose this?" Rachel asks. This was the only down side of living in such a
small town. Everyone knew everyone and although they may not know every
aspect of that person they certainly could spot a stranger.

"Oh that's Ian" I say nonchalantly. All eyes were suddenly on me, and I go
bright red. Outside Ian is removing his helmet and unzipping his leather
jacket. He's not wearing his full leathers, just a pair of loose
stonewashed jeans, workman's boots and underneath his jacket a formal black
shirt. He looks great as he dismounts. I get up to meet him at the door. He
greets me casually, and follows me inside. I realise I'm smiling like a
complete idiot but I can't help it. There was something about this guy. I
introduce him to everyone, both girls staring in lust and the guys
enviously and we walk to the bar together.

"Thanks for coming" I say, unsure for the what seems like the first time
for something to say.

"Nah, thanks for inviting me, pint of lager please" the latter he directs
at the bar maid.

"Lager, really?" I ask somewhat surprised for some reason. I realise I know
very little about the guy other than he's a nurse, rides a motorbike and a
very good kisser.

"OK, you got me, glass of red wine please, Shiraz if you have any" The
barmaid nods and goes to pour his drink. Shiraz, sweet, we like the same
red wine. To be fair I like most red's but Shiraz is my
favourite... especially now. This is great!

When we get back to the table an awkward silence descends. Finally James
breaks it by asking about the motorbike.

"It gets me around" Ian says with a broad grin. I clock the girls still
staring at Ian and can't stop myself from laughing instantly embarrassing
them.

"I bet it does" retorts James with a dirty grin. Instantly everyone bursts
into laughter at the insinuation, and the usual revelry ensues. I for once
don't contribute much, I spend the time watching Ian. His friendly pleasant
manner blends well with everyone else. He quickly learns about Becky's
eccentricity I'm so fond of. James suitably embarrasses me with tales of
our youth in Primary and my obsession with climbing trees. Ample innuendo
is made regarding my fondness for wood from an early age. Then the bar maid
asks if Ian could move his bike. I tell him to wheel it down by my house
and he disappears to do so.

Instantly, like vulture's the girls accost me questions. I laugh through
most of them, each as equally obscene as the one before, I shrug and
pretend innocence. In fact I was innocent. Ian returns and the conversation
turns to sports. I am immediately bored and decide to investigate the
jukebox. James joins me.

"He seems nice" He states as I scroll through the songs available.

"Yep" I reply nonchalantly, my eyes fall upon the Queen play list and I
start looking for my favourite. Despite my varying music taste I am at
heart a classic rocker and I like everyone should, love Queen. I find it,
Innuendo. After making my selection I surrender the jukebox to james.

"I bet Lee would like him" James comments. It knocks me off guard but shrug
it off and return to the table. He must know something. I check the clock
above the bar, its nearing 9PM.

"Erm... I'm going to nip to the shop and get some more cigarettes and a
bottle of wine" I declare.

"But the Dragon isn't home" Brian says. I stare at him. Guilt suddenly
blooming deep inside me. Rachel clearly gives him a sharp kick beneath the
table and he promptly apologizes. I force a smile and walk out the pub. Ian
promptly following me.

We don't talk on the walk to the shop, I thank him internally for this. I
knew my guard was slipping, and I hated it. I rarely wear my heart on my
sleeve. I like to keep things to my chest. Admittedly I occasionally vent
and spout my anger, rage and disappointment about a myriad of topics. The
important things, the nessecery things I keep to myself. What's the saying,
once bitten twice shy.

I conduct my usual business in the shop. Smiling and laughing with San the
shopkeeper. Ian watching me. I grab a couple of bottles of red, and get
another 10 pack of smokes. As we walk back to the pub I decide to drop the
bottles off at the house first. Ian, bless him, follows.

"Are you OK?" He asks.

"Yeah. I'm fine" I state as I put the bottles down on the counter, "You
having fun?"

"Of course, your friends are great!" He states, "I don't often get a
relaxed night out!"

"Good" I turn to look at him. I know what's coming and I can't hold it
back. I know its the drink that's opening the flood gates and despite all
my efforts my emotions pour out. I start by shaking, then the occasional
tear slips down my cheeks.

"Wow, wow, its ok" He declares approaching me and taking me into his
arms. I stand there for a moment and just cry. I rarely if ever do this. I
never cried when my grandparents died. I didn't shed a tear during my
parents divorce but now, my guard is completely down and it comes flooding
out. I hated myself afterwards for it. Ian stood there like a pillar,
holding me and comforting me, "I cant imagine what your going through" he
starts, "but fuck me your handling it well!" I naturally snort at this
breaking our embrace a moment and wiping my face of all the by products of
crying, "We don't have to back if you don't want to" he says
reassuringly. I look at him, my usual composure returning.

"So your staying here?" I ask mockingly.

"Well... I kinda assumed" I smile at his sudden bashfulness and take his
hand in mine.

"I'm having a great time! Let's go back for an hour or so and then we can
make our escape!" I instruct with a knowing smile. His eyes sparkle
lustfully. I'm suddenly struck by an overwhelming desire to kiss him, and I
do. It was great.

Moments later we're returning to the pub with a cheer from the others. We
have however gathered another. In the fifteen minutes Lee had
arrived. Ah. Lee introduces himself to Ian. His tone is somewhat awkward
but Ian doesn't detect anything untoward and I announce in a bout of stupid
generosity I'm buying the next round. Another cheer fills the pub and the
drinks are ordered. I do have to stipulate certain things are banned,
champagne and any bottles of wine over £5 are banned... my friends ever the
entrepreneurs.

The revelry continues, I discuss Ian with the girls, whilst Ian is informed
of further embarrassing stories from my past. Lee all the while remains
quite distant and quiet. Eventually I announce I need a smoke and picking
up my glass of Shiraz. I know what your thinking but hell I like the
guy... I head out the back. Lee follows. I remind myself as I hold the door
open for him I have nothing to be ashamed of, however I still feel a little
awkward.

"So Ian" Lee announces, his tone somewhat aggressive.

"Yeah, great isn't he" I say as I spark out. Lee just looks at me and I
find myself blushing for some reason.

"When did you meet him?"

"This morning, in the hospital with my mum" I'm starting to sense Lee's a
little pissed off. I leave the comment hanging in the air.

"I... I'm sorry to hear about your mum" He says eventually.

"Thanks" I reply taking a deep drag and exhaling a large cloud of smoke
into the air.

"So where does this... where does this leave us?" He asks eventually. I'm
not surprised by the comment, but a little annoyed.

"What do you mean, what about us?" I feel a little bad by my nonchalance
but hell he's the one with the girlfriend. What am I meant to do, wait
around for him to grow a pair of bollocks. Even if he already had a
substantial pair. I look at Lee and he seems hurt, "What do you want me to
do Lee?"

He stands near the picnic tables. Hands thrust into his pockets. He
shrugs. "Exactly" I say, "I like you, hell I really like you but I have to
ask myself... will I be happy as your slut" The last word hangs in the
air. He doesn't meet my eye, "I'm sorry Lee, in another time, another life
or whatever you want to think maybe..." I begin to wonder what I'm
saying. I'm talking like Ian is my future and my everything. I'd learned
enough during my years up north to not hedge all my bets on one hen but I
wasn't about to risk anything with Ian. He was a nice guy, kind, caring,
hot... hell what else could I want at a time like this.

"Fine" Lee declares and storms back into the pub, as he enters Ian brushes
past him. He takes out a cigarette and lights up. His eyes are a little
drink sodden but he looks cut his black curls falling cutely around his
ears.

"Everything all right?"

I can't help but smile at him, "Of course. He's just a little shocked
with... well everything... I'll explain sometime but right now come here"
I'm sat upon the picnic table and I invite him to come closer. He
approaches me and leans against the table. We don't say anything, we're
just happy to be near each other I guess. Then he musses up my hair.

"Oh you bastard!" I declare in mock anger.

"Your so cute angry"

"Glad you think so" I reach up and grab the neck of his T-Shirt and drag
him down for a brief but passionate kiss.

"Ahem" James has appeared at the doorway

"Busted" Ian mutters as he leans back. I turn to my friend with a
questioning expression.

"We're getting a last round want one?" James asks. The pair of us instantly
say yes. Nodding James leaves us alone. Both Ian and I are blushing. He's
so cute.

"You've got great friends!" Ian states, his hand finds the side of my face
and rubs my cheek. I'm incredibly aroused by this tender moment its almost
ludicrous.

"That can be debatable!" I joke making an attempt to stand after stubbing
out my cigarette. However a certain part of my anatomy is making this
difficult, "Bloody thing" Laughing Ian reaches down and grabs my turgid
cock and pops it under the waist band of my pants.

"I wouldn't say that" he says with a lust filled tone. Giggling we both
return to the bar and realise we're both being eyed by the group. We
pretend as if we don't notice and take a seat. Eventually our final round
turns into two and then three, and before any of our group realise it's
closing hour and we're forced to leave much to James's disapproval.

Once again as a group we're drunk and lingering about the car park. Much to
my amusement Ian is accosted by the girls, each wanting to take him
home. However in a drunken manner he declines their offers and insists he
has to make sure I get home all right. This is met with great disapproval
by girls, however I'm quite happy with the situation. I notice in the
corner of my eye Lee is not at all. I also note James who is watching Lee
quite carefully. I cant help but wonder what the hell have I got myself
into.

Ian is suddenly beside me, holding my hand, and all my worries melt away,
as I look into his glistening eyes. Is it possible to feel like this about
someone after such a short period of time. Is this... dare I say it... love
at first sight. We eventually say our goodbyes and walk away.

In moments both Ian and I are at my house. Yet those few brief moments were
amazing. He walked alongside me the whole way, his hands were first about
my shoulders but gradually moved further south down my back and eventually
rested in the back pocket of my trousers groping my ass. The moment we were
indoors he had me pinned against the fireplace again and was kissing me
deeply. I was in totally awe and surrendered myself totally to his probing
tongue. He held me there for what seemed like hours before he eventually
broke away from me. We were both equally out of breath and I couldn't help
but laugh. I just realised the thing I liked about him most was his
aggressive sexuality. He was so friendly and carefree yet sexually he was
demanding. I offer him a glass of wine, which he accepts, but I don't even
get to the door of the kitchen before he's pinning me against the door
frame in another passionate kiss. This time I have to push him off for air
and also I now really need another glass of wine!

"Want something to eat?" I ask as I pour the wine. Ian's now taken a seat
at the kitchen table. I note how he doesn't sit on my mums chair. I like
that for some reason. He nods. Brilliant I think, now I'm cooking for him,
got to make it good! "right its cheese and crackers" I say producing a huge
block of my favourite Wensleydale with Cranberries. He laughs clearly
thinking I was about to embark on a disastrous drunken cooking armada. Too
many years drunk up north had taught me otherwise.

I am a good cook, a really good cook if I say so myself, except right now
all I want is to sober up a bit and fucking fuck. Crude I know, but a guy
has needs. We sit sharing the Shiraz scoffing cheese and crackers whilst
discussing the night. I have to spend some time explaining my marginally
eccentric antics as a kid. My parents had owned all the way through my
childhood right up to the divorce six year ago an amazing place. It was my
home and I tell him now that there will never be a home for me except that
place. It was true. It was an enormous old home set in 2 acres of garden
that my mum had cultivated into different gardens. It was also situated at
the heart of a massive council estate. It was a veritable Addams family
house. This ancient building some six hundred years old surrounded by the
ill considered constructions of the sixties. When I explain the place to
some they are immediately bored but Ian is, seemingly, mesmerized. I recite
the adventures I had with my self there, battling trolls in the cave, or
talking with elves in the ruins. I had an amazing childhood I tell him
despite the lack of parents. My mum was a big shot designer working away
almost all the time and my dad run her businesses. I was pretty much left
alone from the age of eight and after I went to boarding school... my
imagination was fuelled by books and art. The conversation gradually comes
to mum. She had been a massive inspiration to me, driving me forward,
always pushing me to succeed in anything I wanted to do. I was drink
riddled and animated and he listened and watched and laughed and
smiled. Then my steam died, remembering the events of the day.

Instantly Ian changed the topic, he begins regaling me with his childhood
antics. How he spent his earlier years perving on next doors gardener, how
he purposefully acquired an interest in motorbikes because of him yet it
was never to be. The gardener was like seventeen when he was twelve. He
told me how he used to hide in the garden and read Men's Health
Magazine. Then he went on to tell me about when he came out to his parents,
and their subsequent kicking him out. He told me of the year he lived on
the streets before he was housed with an amazing family. I learn his step
mum was a nurse and she inspired him to go back to school and become a
nurse. I also learn she died shortly before he graduated as a qualified
nurse. I am suddenly profoundly grateful for everything my parents were and
did for me. I make a solemn oath to myself to speak to my dad more. I
decide now is a good time to finish the bottle of wine. I pour us an equal
measure and make a toast to "true mothers". We clink glasses and look at
each other.

"Film?" I offer

"Sure" He adds. Taking his hand in mine I lead him to my bedroom. We both,
quite drunk, flop down onto the bed looking at each other. My head resting
on his arm. "we're not going to watch a film are we?" He asks already
knowing the answer. I shake my head childishly. He leans in and we
kiss. It's the most tender and hungry kiss we shared. Our tongues explored
each other's mouths, and I press my body against his. We roll over and all
of a sudden I have him pinned beneath me. I proclaim triumph before he
flings me with surprising strength back onto the bed. Declaring he wont be
beaten so easily he starts to unbutton my shirt. In my happy drink riddled
phase I have to succumb to his demands.

Before I know it I'm topless and find this very unfair and start
unbuttoning his shirt. I take my time, grinning like a lunatic. I can tell
by the growing bulge in his jeans he's enjoying himself.

My hands move gradually up his body feeling as I go. He isn't as defined as
I expected but he is more than hot. My fingers explore his lower abdomen
relishing the feel of his skin. When I eventually get to removing the whole
shirt I am surprised to find he has no chest hair. I'm not disappointed
just surprised. I look at his face and he's beaming, the type of happy
smile that makes me playfully tweak one of his nipples. His face contorts
appreciatively and he leans in for a kiss. His body slips down mine and I
feel his hot skin against mine. We then stop to take our shoes and socks
off. It seems strange to watch this as I don't have a foot fetish but I'm
obsessed with guys who keep their socks on. In my experience they don't
last and I'm really pleased to find he takes his off.

We return to kissing each other in a variety of different positions. I cant
get enough of him. After a while I start to fumble with his belt and
jeans. It ends up he has to help. He's wearing the sexiest briefs, black
with diagonal white stripes. They do everything for him. His hard cock is
accentuated in a beneficial way by the thin white lines. I almost lunge at
them but he pins me down playfully and starts to remove my trousers. Much
to my shame he handles the fastenings expertly. We're both naked but for
our underwear, his the sexy black number with the cunning white lines and
me with my tight superhero pants. I feel somewhat childish but this doesn't
stop him. He's immediately on top of me again, his crotch in my face and my
arms pinned away from either of our bodies. The smell of him fills my
nostrils and I long for a taste. He has a sexy musky smell. I being to lick
at his turgid shaft from my prone position whilst maintaining eye
contact. His eyes glittered with lust.

Eventually wanton lust forces him to release my arm and pull down his
underwear and tucking them beneath his nuts. I'm faced with a long and
slender cock, capped by a pointed mushroom head, the foreskin still hugging
it half way. He moves his bubble butt so I get a better access to it and I
swallow it happily. It's length penetrating my mouth hungrily. He face
fucks me for a moment or so still pinning me down but I don't argue. Then
he pulls his member free from my lips and slips down my body. Tugging at my
boxers waistband relinquishing my dick and he devours it. He expertly sucks
on me and find myself compelled to holding his head as he does so. I relish
the sensation as his lips cling to the shaft of my cock as he moves from
tip to base and base to tip. The sensation is incredible and I think I'm
close to cumming. Somehow realising this he detaches and slowly moves to
face me.

"I want to fuck you Alex Moon. I want to be inside you!" He
whispers. Ordinarily I would have laughed at such a statement but here and
now I find myself compelled to offer myself up to him. I reach over my head
into a small embroidered box and hand him a tube of lube. He flips me over
and slowly kisses his way down my body, starting behind my ears. Almost
aggressively he whips my underwear further down and I feel his strong hands
upon my ass cheeks. He slowly parts them and I feel the soft warmth of his
tongue against my anus. Instantly my back arches and I'm lost to the
sensations of him rimming me. Huge waves of pleasure flood my body and I
can feel my cock throb. Eventually he stops and I hear the pop of the
lube's cap. I feel him spread the cold substance on to my ass, and then
deeper into me. I shudder with anticipation. Seconds later I feel his cock
slicked cock head pressing against my hole. I try and relax as he
penetrated me, and I welcome the intrusion relishing the full sensation. He
lays his body gently against mine and feel his hot breath upon my right
ear. His rhythm was insanely slow at first and it nearly drove me wild,
then his pace increased. I was now groaning uncontrollably, relishing his
thrust and withdrawal. We built up a pace. He thrusting into me, and I
thrusting against him. It was wild, like two dogs in heat, panting
furiously. I craned my neck to kiss him and we did as his pace built and
built. Soon I had no control over it and he was fucking me hard,
relentlessly and most of all passionately.

"Oh fuck" He declared eventually, "Oh FUCK! Oh fuck, oh fuck oh fuck!" I
instantly begin thrusting harder against him. Feeling his cock begin to
swell and throb. I groan as each deep probe found my prostate. It sent
bolts of pleasures throughout my body and I could barely hold on. My cock,
rock hard pressed against the bed began to pulse and swell. Soon bolts of
my semen shot across my black bedsheets, just as his cock erupted deep
inside me. However he continued to fuck the cum out of me, and both of our
orgasms continued for what felt like forever before he eventually
collapsed, his softening dick still inside me. He rolled off and faced up
to the ceiling panting madly. I roll over and settling into his shoulder.
We lay there catching our breaths before we fall asleep in each others
arms.