Date: Thu, 06 Jul 2023 21:43:42 +0000
From: DurtyRiter <DurtyRiter@protonmail.com>
Subject: The Man with the Jeep, Chapter 42

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The Man with the Jeep



Chapter 42


Andrew didn't even look up to notice that there was a light on in the RV as
he walked by. He just walked the short distance to the main drive and
turned right. Like an escaped horse, he just mindlessly headed home. He was
too wrapped up in his thoughts to think about what a twenty-mile walk would
be. He just walked.

He had gone about five minutes along the lane with a few cars and trucks
passing him at random before an Acura pulled over just in front of him.

He didn't care. He just walked around it.

As he approached, the driver's window went down.

"Need a lift somewhere?"

Andrew didn't acknowledge the voice. In fact, he didn't even slow down. He
was like a zombie.  His reverie was only broken when his forward momentum
was arrested by hands on his shoulder.

"Andrew! What are youÑ" began a familiar voice that immediately changed
timbre when we he saw Andrew's face. "Oh no. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," mumbled Andrew as he sought to get away.

"I'm not buying that. Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that again?"

With a sad resignation, Andrew tried to focus on the man's face, but it was
all blurry.

"No."

The man said nothing and did not let go. Instead, he gave Andrew a hug
right there on the side of the road. It wasn't a big burly John hug, which
was good because Andrew didn't think he could handle that right now, but it
was enough to trigger a choked cry, which led to a complete torrent of
tears. The man kept his hug as Andrew's body was wracked with sobs.

When the weeping subsided, Andrew pulled away from the embrace, wiped his
eyes and recognized the man was Bill.

"How are you doing?" Bill asked gently.

"Better now," admitted a very embarrassed Andrew. "I don't know what came
over me."

"It's all right," said Bill. "It happens to all of us sometimes. Where's
John?"

Andrew sighed to himself. "Back at camp."

"I see. Where are you heading? I could give you a ride if you like."

"I don't know where I was going. Probably home."

"Don't you live in town? That's a fair hike even in daylight."

"Yeah," admitted Andrew. "I didn't really think about that."

"Well, I'm going that way if you want a ride."

"I, uh," began Andrew. "I don't really know where I want to go."

"Tell you what: let's talk about it in the car, because I'm freezing out
here."

"Oh! Of course! I'm so sorry!"

"Don't worry about it at all."

They got into Bill's car, and it was only then that Andrew realized he was
cold too. He shivered despite himself after he got in.

"Let me turn on the heated seats," Bill suggested. "One of the best things
ever invented in my opinion."

Andrew smiled.

"There we go!" Bill said happily. "So where would you like to go?"

"Maybe home. Maybe nowhere. I don't know..."

"Not a problem," Bill said. "Let's start with an easier question. Are you
trying to get somewhere in particular, or just leave here?"

"Leave here, I guess," he answered, realizing that he was running away.

"Ah. And what makes you want to get away?"

Andrew didn't respond immediately.

"Don't worry," Bill added. "I don't need to know the details and I won't be
judgy even if you share them. I take it you and John aren't seeing eye to
eye?"

"Oh, it's nothing like that," Andrew answered hurriedly. "He's amazing."

"And you're not?" Bill asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Well, no, I'm just normal."

"You know you can be normal and amazing at the same time, don't you?"

"Um..."

"Do you realize that John is also normal?"

"No, he's not. He's incredible."

Bill sighed. "Listen to me, Andrew. No one is perfect. It's not
possible. It may look like he has everything together, but do you know what
kind of childhood he had? What his high school was like? His college years?
How about his old relationships?

"We all have history and wounds. It's what makes us who we are. And you
can't have any of that without developing a few quirks along the way. Just
because you have a hard time seeing his flaws doesn't mean he doesn't have
any."

"I know all that."

"Prove me wrong then. Name one of his weaknesses."

"I..." Andrew trailed off. "But there's nothing wrong with him!"

"Listen, kiddo. He can't see anything wrong with you either."

"But that's just it!" Andrew erupted. "Once he sees me for who I am, he'll
ditch me for sure, and I don't think I could handle that!"

"You sound awfully certain about that."

"It's just that I know me pretty well."

"For all his apparent perfection, you don't give him very much credit, do
you?"

"Huh?"

"It sounds to me like you are just guessing that he would leave you," Bill
said. "Let me ask you this: Are you going to ditch him when you discover
one of his weaknesses?"

"I would never do that!"

"Never is a very long time, but if you think you wouldn't leave him for
being imperfect, don't you think you should give him that chance too?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"But you're afraid of getting hurt," Bill finished for him.

"Yeah."

"So instead of risking getting hurt by him, you're going to hurt him
first."

"I wouldn'tÑ-oh."

"And when you think about it, it's already too late anyway. If you break up
now, you'll hurt just as much, and you won't ever know how good it could
have been. From the outside looking in, you guys make a great couple, but
to make that happen, you must commit to it and not be wishy-washy."

"So `do or do not: there is no try'?"

"You've got it. So, there's my two cents."

Andrew was disappointed Bill didn't seem to get his Yoda reference like
John would have, but it did clarify some things that have been running
around his head for weeks.

"I hope I haven't stepped out of bounds here," Bill said. "I really don't
mean to push you one way or the other, I just thought you could use a fresh
perspective."

"I appreciate it. I was having a hard time processing things in my head."

"I picked up on that."

"Since we are being so frank, what if I can't do it?"

"Do what?"

"Be true to John alone."

"You can do almost anything you truly decide to do."

"Yeah, but..."

"Yes, stuff happens. Like I said, none of us is perfect. But just deciding
to try is most of the battle. It's how you proceed from those mistakes that
defines you."

"Well, I just cheated on him, and I can't help feeling like a failure."

"Ah, that does explain some things." Bill said, nodding. "In that case, I
dare you to tell him and see what he says about it."

"What?"

"You heard me. Secrets are deadly to relationships. Trust me, I know. Get
it out in the open as soon as possible. Unless you are afraid John is
jealous enough to physically go after whomever you messed around with."

"There wasn't anyone else."

"Oh! I thought you said you cheated on him. My apologies for
misunderstanding."

"I did! I mean there wasn't anyone else, but I did in my mind."

"Really?" Bill was clearly quite surprised.

"Yeah. I jacked off thinking about an old porn."

"Wow. Okay," Bill paused. "If you're worried about this, you'll be fine, my
friend. Let me also reassure you that it's not cheating if there isn't
another person. That's kind of the definition of cheating: playing with
someone not in the relationship. Even us married straight guys jack off. A
lot, actually. Girls don't seem to like sex as much as we do. My wife and I
have our own arrangement, but why do you think so many guys have affairs
and mistresses?"

"Because the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence?"

"TouchŽ! It's hard to pick the right one when it's forever," Bill
admitted.

"I know. Maybe that's why I'm having a hard time: I'm too old-fashioned and
I'm picking for life."

"That's a good thing," Bill laughed. "Now how are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks."

"Good! Now my offer still stands; I will take you wherever you like. You
are a grown man, kiddo, and entitled to make your own decisions. Where do
you want to go?"

"I think I'll go back to John, thanks," replied Andrew as he reached for
the door handle.

"Hey wait!"

"What?"

"Let me drive you. It's still dark and cold out there."

"Isn't it almost dawn?"

Bill chuckled. "It's late, but not THAT late!"

"What time is it?"

"Just after three."

"Oh."

"So where is John from here?"

"He's in the RV park behind us."

"Got it."

Bill turned his car around and followed Andrew's directions back through
the RV lot until they came up to the big black fifth wheel again. Andrew
noticed that everything was dark and quiet again now. Everything except a
lone light in the big black trailer.

"Thanks, Bill," Andrew said as he got out. "Or should I call you Oprah?"

"Please don't," laughed Bill. "Take care, kiddo. Don't give up and I will
see you later."

"Okay," agreed Andrew. "Good night."

"Good night."

Bill headed off and Andrew walked up to the trailer and went inside.

Andrew barely made it inside before John had him wrapped up in a hug.

"I was worried sick about you! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I woke up and you'd disappeared. I didn't know what happened."

"I just went for a walk."

"A walk, huh? Where did you go? The barn?"

"No, I just went down to that second restroom and then back down that way,"
he said pointing toward the road.

"Not that way?" John asked pointing the opposite direction.

"No."

"Gotcha," said John. "You were just gone so long, I assumed you had."

"Well, I did get waylaid a couple times," Andrew admitted.

"Were they cute?"

"Who?"

"Your waylayers, of course!"

"There was only Bill," Andrew said.

"Wait, you played with Bill? Twice? I didn't know you had it in you! And I
thought you said you didn't go to the barn," said a perplexed John.

"I didn't go to the barn," Andrew insisted. "I went to the restroom and
jacked off. After that, I just walked in the other direction."

"And how did Bill fit in?"

Andrew ignored his obvious quip. "He drove me back."

John pondered for a moment before letting it drop. "Well, I'm glad you're
back even if you don't have a juicy story to tell. I missed you."

"I did tell you I jacked off, didn't I?"

"Yeah," John answered. "You had fun, didn't you?"

"Well yeah."

"Then great! Now can we go back to bed?"

"Yeah."

They walked back to the bedroom and this time they stripped down and
actually got under the covers. John wrapped himself around Andrew like a
cocoon as he usually did and was quickly asleep.  John was tired after all,
Andrew thought to himself. He had done as Bill recommended and told John
about his jacking off without him and the world didn't explode. In fact, it
didn't even blip. He had to tell John twice just to make sure it
registered, and still nothing. He really had worked himself up for
nothing. He was really going to have to learn not to do that.

"Do or do not. There is no try." Words to live by, he decided. That Yoda
guy knew something after all. Andrew decided right then he would "do" with
John to the best of his ability. No more looking for the exit. He ran
through all the advice Bill had given over the course of the day and came
to the conclusion that it was worth the fight. And just maybe he wouldn't
end up being heartbroken at all. He crossed his fingers on that as he
crossed into sleep.




Andrew awoke the next morning not really rested. It had been a long night
and the two short sleep stints weren't enough, but he didn't want to waste
time in bed. He got up, pulled on some shorts and a tank top, and wandered
out into the main room where John was standing in his boxers and a t-shirt
sipping from a steaming mug as he watched the morning news playing quietly
on the TV.

Oh great, thought Andrew, John's a News Guy. It didn't really surprise him
when it came down to it, but he had little stomach for news programs
himself. It all seemed like the same stuff over and over, rehashed,
repackaged, and recalibrated for maximum division and disaster. He enjoyed
keeping abreast of things happening in the world, but he preferred
newspapers. He didn't trust the internet and radio was just a series of
baby blurbs, so it was hard to get a balanced view anymore.

While not so keen on John's choice of entertainment, that steaming mug
struck a strong chord.

John turned toward him as he walked into the kitchen.

"Well good morning, sleepy head," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit wiped out, to be honest."

"I thought you might be. Me too," he admitted. "But this chai is
helping. There is some in the upper cabinet to the left of the stove."

"Thanks."

Andrew found it and made a hot cup of it for himself and added a little
milk to tone down the bite just a bit. Ah, just what the doctor ordered!

He walked over and stood beside John silently.

John reached out with is free hand and pulled him close.

"I'm sorry I grilled you last night, I was just really worried about you
since I didn't know where you'd gone."

"It's okay. I was tired and got wrapped up in my own headspace again,
that's all."

"I'm sorry, love," John said, kissing him on the forehead. "I'm really glad
you didn't leave."

"Me too."

They stood there for a bit longer before Andrew's stomach growled.

"I guess we'd better decide what to do for breakfast, huh?" asked John.

"It seems so," admitted Andrew. "I'm not up for Mabel this morning
though. Can we have it delivered here?"

"Of course! Do you know what sounds good?"

"Maybe crepes? Do they have those?"

"I'm sure they can whip some up for us in no time."

John found his phone and ordered their breakfast, and they went back to
watching the news.

About twenty-five minutes later, a light rap at the door signaled the
arrival of the food. Typically unabashed, John answered the door in his
boxers and collected the food from the delivery girl. He then made a
dramatic show of setting out all the plastic utensils and food containers
on the kitchen bar.

"Okay," he finally announced. "It won't eat itself! Let's dig in!"

They did just that, and once again the food was wonderful. His crepes were
light and fluffy with just the right amount of berries and powdered sugar
on them. John seemed equally pleased with his French toast.

They were nearly done when someone pounded loudly on the door.

"Help! Is anyone home? Please help!"



*********


I'd love to hear from you if you have any questions or any suggestions for
where this story should go :)

Also, I have had trouble posting consistently lately, so if you'd like me
to let you know when a new chapter goes up, just send me a message and I
will keep you posted. Thanks for reading, and I hope you have great day!

DurtyRiter@protonmail.com