Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2000 23:43:42 -0700 From: Terrie P Stentz Subject: The Rain Must Fall Disclaimer: This story is in no way meant to portray the lives of *NSYNC. It is pure fiction. If this offends you, leave. If you're too young to be reading this, leave . . . or don't get caught. Thanks. Please tell me what you think. Enjoy. * * * I'm a people watcher. No, a people watcher, not a stalker. There's a difference. I watch people for fun. I find it entertaining. I like to try and figure out what kind of lives people have and what makes them tick. You know, what makes them laugh, what makes them happy, what makes them sad . . . that type of thing. People watching's not my real job. I wish it were, but it's not. For money purposes, I am a guidance counselor at the local high school. I enjoy it, I guess. It's not exactly my dream job, but it makes me feel good to help people. It's especially neat when kids come back and tell me about all the progress they've made towards what ever goal I helped them set. Anyhow. On this particular evening, I was sitting in the park across the street from my house. It was a Wednesday evening, and I was having fun watching people walk by. Couples holding hands and talking. Parents watching as their children played tag. I watched one particular couple walk by smiling lovingly at each other. I noticed a gold ring with a nice sized diamond gracing her left hand. When they glanced over at my bench I gave a little wave and a smile. I watched a group of three teenage girls walk by, and I recognized one of them as a student from my high school. Obviously she recognized me too because she strode over, dragging her friends with her. "Hi, Mr. Taylor," she greeted me with a wide smile. "Hey, Cara. What are you up to? And you know you can call me Christian outside of school. Mr. Taylor makes me feel old," I laughed. "How old are you?" one of her friends (whom I didn't recognize) asked me. "I'm 23," I replied. Cara gave her friend a nudge in the ribs with her elbow. I smiled inwardly at that. I thought it was cute that she had a crush on me. Too bad she was jail bait . . . that and too bad I'm gay. "We were just going to the movies," Cara informed me. "What movie are you girls going to see?" I asked sounding interested. "Center Stage," her other friend replied. "Oh, I saw that. I really liked it. There are some really cute dancers in that movie," I told them being gender unspecific. The girls giggled at my comment. "Well, we better get going. Our movie starts at 7:30 and it's already 7:20," she said looking at her watch sadly. "I hope you guys like it," I told them. "Okay, bye Mr. Tay--- er, Christian," Cara blushed. "Bye, nice meeting your friends, Cara," I said sweetly. "Bye," the girls said waving as they walked away. "Oh my God, Cara, he is so hot!" I heard one of her friends snicker as they walked away. I laughed at the absurdity of the situation. I leaned back on my bench and ran a hand through my medium blonde hair. Apparently there were a lot of kids at the school who thought I was cute. Which is funny for many reasons in my mind. Personally, I didn't think I was all that impressive. I was almost 6' tall, somewhere around 5' 11 1/2". I was slender, and I worked out on a regular basis, but I wasn't exactly "buff". Had I been anyone other than myself, I might say that I was attractive. Shaking my head, I decided to go back to watching the people walking around me. I hadn't been looking around for long when someone caught my eye. The man I saw looked about 20 or so, couldn't have been much older. He was dressed nicely, not quite trendy, but attractively. His clothes were wrinkled and he looked like he hadn't slept in quite a few days. Despite his disheveled appearance, he was extremely attractive. He was about twenty feet from me and he was walking slowly away from me. Now, normally, I wouldn't have done this, but there was something about this man that struck me odd. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but I just felt like he shouldn't have been left alone right now. I stood up and started to follow him. I stayed quite a ways behind him, simply so that I wouldn't be noticed. I didn't want him to think that I was stalking him or anything . . . I mean, I was, but that's not the point. It was getting darker. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was slowly creeping up on eight o'clock. I also noticed that the number of people in the park was thinning out. During my observations of other things, I found that I had lost the man I was trailing. I stopped walking and looked around, spinning in a slow circle. I shrugged my shoulders and continued walking. I walked around a bush which had been blocking my view of the path ahead. As I came around the corner, I caught sight of him again. He was standing on the bridge, well, the edge of the bridge to be exact. Had I not been as observant as I am, I would have been worried about him jumping off the edge. Now, I was a little worried, but I knew he wasn't going to jump . . . at least not yet. I continued walking slowly towards the bridge. I knew I was in his peripheral vision and I didn't want to scare him into doing anything rash. Once I reached the edge of the bridge, I stopped and watched him for a moment. I knew he was thinking about jumping, but he was hesitant . . . which in it's way was a good thing. He was standing there looking at the water, and I knew he was trying to determine what to do. So, I started walking slowly towards him again, hoping I could get there before he made a decision. As I reached him, I stood quietly behind him, ready to let him make his own decision (as long as it was a good one) and ready to pull him back if he made the wrong one. I heard him sniffle and take a ragged breath, and I could tell that he was crying. 'Remorse,' I thought. It meant that he didn't want to die. He didn't want to kill himself. I took a deep breath and stepped up to him. I reached up hesitantly as I still didn't want to scare him. I gently took ahold of his arm and wrapped my other arm around his waist. I pulled him off the edge, supporting all of his weight as he collapsed into my arms. He broke down immediately, crying and blindly clinging to me. I sat down on the ground as softly as I could pulling the young man into my lap. We sat there for a long time on the bridge in the middle of that park, and he cried the entire time. He cried, and he cried, and I just held him. I rocked gently back and forth making soothing sounds and telling him it was going to be okay, telling him that things were going to get better. I remember looking around me at one point and realizing that it was nighttime. I reached around him and pressed the light on my watch and saw that it was now nine o'clock. 'I should probably get the two of us out of the park, but what was going to happen to him?' I thought for a moment, trying to figure out what we were going to do. "Hey," I said softly, "come on, let's stand up." I stood up pulling him gently up with me. I put my arm around his waist to support him and began walking in the direction we had come from. We traveled very slowly, considering I was almost dragging him out of the park. As we neared the edge of the park, he began to panic. "No, no! I can't! I can't go back!" he stammered beginning to fight me and attempting to pull away from me. "Shh, shh, don't worry, kiddo. It's okay. You don't have to go back. I won't make you," I calmed him. "I won't make you go back." He seemed to calm down at my words and we fell back into our pattern of half walking half stumbling. My apartment wasn't very far from the park, and it only took about three or four minutes to reach it. I fished my keys out of my pocket and unlocked the door, leading us both into the semi-large space. I guided us into the living room and sat him down on the couch. I let him go and bent over to catch my breath. I looked up at him sitting there on my couch, staring up at my ceiling. I couldn't read the look on his face. I couldn't tell if it was relief or resentment that graced his pained face. "Do you want anything?" I asked him. "Do you want a drink or something to help you sleep?" He laughed miserably. "How about some Tequila and a Compoz," he replied. "Sorry," I replied with concern in my voice, "I don't keep sleep aids, especially not any that strong." I turned and walked into the kitchen. Grabbing my tea kettle off the stove, I turned to the sink and filled it up with hot water. I turned back to the stove and placed the kettle on the front burner. I reached into the cabinet above the stove, pulling out my favorite mug and a box of tea. I stood there waiting for the water to boil, thinking of the man sitting on my couch. What could have possibly gone so wrong? And what could I do to help fix it? I was brought back to reality by my screeching tea kettle. I pulled it off the burner and filled my cup up to the top. I reached up and pulled down the bottle of honey. I poured a little bit into my tea, placing the container back in the cupboard when I was done. I picked up my mug and walked slowly back out to the living room. I set my cup on the end table next to my favorite chair, so I wouldn't spill it as I sat down. I turned to face the young man, determined to help him figure things out, but had to stop and smile at the sight before me. I guess I was right when I'd assumed he hadn't slept in days. In the 5 minutes it had taken me to make my cup of tea, he had fallen asleep sitting up on my couch. I walked down the hall to my bedroom. I grabbed the blanket and both pillows off my bed. I walked padded back down the hallway to the living room, dragging the blanket behind me. I tossed one pillow into my chair and set the other one on the end of the couch. I set the blanket on the ground by my feet. I paused to run a hand through my hair. I reached down and took ahold of the young man's shoulder and gently laid him down. I reached down and pulled his feet up onto the couch. I picked the blanket up and draped it over his exhausted body. He stirred slightly and curled up a little before settling back down. I walked over to my chair, moving the pillow out of my way, and grabbed the quilt off the back of my recliner as I sat down. I put the pillow behind my back. I had been having back problems lately, I'm not sure why, but the pillow seemed to help. I pulled the quilt up over my lap reached over to grab my tea, settling down into my chair. I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of my apple cinnamon tea. I loved this tea. I watched the man sleep for a few minutes. Watching his slow breathing and the small smile he donned as he slept. I wondered if he always smiled while he slept. He really was cute, if only I'd met him under different circumstances. I sighed. Sometimes it was hard to always be the rock. I was everyone's rock. It wasn't that I minded helping people, it wasn't that at all. It's just that sometimes I wish I had someone as dependable as me. I sighed again. I set my tea on the table again and slid further down into my chair, pulling the quilt up around my chin. I fell asleep trying to figure out what I could do to help the young man. * * * I opened my eyes and promptly shut them again. 'Why the hell was it so bright?' I sprang out of my chair and looked at the clock. "SHIT!" I yelled. "Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit." It was a quarter to eight. I ran out of the room towards my bedroom. I dug through my drawers looking for a pair of khaki slacks and a white button down shirt. "Shit shit shit." I looked over at the clock again. 7:50am. I changed quickly, tossing my clothes from the previous day all over the room. I was buttoning my shirt as I ran back out into the living room. I looked at the man still sleeping on my couch. What the hell was I going to do about him?! "Um um um," I sputtered as I tried to think. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a pen and jotted down a quick note on my message pad. Penning my signature quickly I tore the page off and ran back to the living room. I set the note on the table by the couch and ran for the door, picking up my briefcase as I passed it. I glanced at my watch as I fumbled to lock the door. 7:55am. "Shit," I muttered. I finally got the door locked and ran the entire three blocks to the school, making it there just as the first tardy bell rang. * * * TBC . . . Please send questions, comments, and criticism to DivaKitT@juno.com. Thank you.