Date: Fri, 1 Jun 2001 01:42:03 EDT
From: KidLush18@aol.com
Subject: When I Dream At Night: Chapter 6

When I Dream At Night


Disclaimer: The story involves a relationship, between a member of the
Backstreet Boys (who? You'll have to read and find out), and a rather
charming fellow. Yes, two guys. If that comes as a shock to you: 1. Your a
complete moron. 2. You need not procreate. 3. Press ALT and F4 at the
same time right... NOW!    This story is a love story.. and that means there
will be sex in it.  That is if I can bring myself to writing it.  I think sex
is very much a part of a loving relationship,
and that is why I want to include it.

Finally, this is fiction and not meant to imply anything about the true
sexuality of any member of the Backstreet Boys . If you are underage.. yadda
yadda... you shouldn't be reading this.. yadda.. ::mumbles:: (don't get
caught). ::mumbles::

Comments, Concerns, Criticisms, Praises:  dreamkiid@yahoo.com


Chapter 6:  Black and Blue

"Morning everyone!"  Kenneth, the road manager, yelled out to everyone in the
hotel's conference room.  It was 6 in the morning and everyone on the tour,
minus the stage crew, had gathered in the conference room awaiting
instructions before boarding the busses that would take us to the airport.
"As everyone knows, well almost everyone," Kenneth stopped and looked over at
Nick and AJ who were half asleep, "the next city on the tour is Cleveland.
Once we get to the hotel, you will all have an hour to freshen up and then we
have to head over to the arena.  Publicist crew, Leila will let you know
where you need to be, although I'm sure you all know what's expected of you
by now.  Try to get some rest on the ride there cause the next 3 days are
going to be tiring.  We have three concerts back to back so let's all try to
conserve our energy.  Okay!  Let's hit the busses."

"If anyone expects me to make it to the bus, they are going to have to carry
me!"  AJ groaned.
"Either that or we roll your fat ass out to the bus," Nick said getting up.
"That's an easy choice," Howie chimed in.
"Fat ass?  Look who's talking about a fat ass."
"Guys!  It is way too early for this!  Please, save it!"  Kevin said,
stepping in.  "I don't need a headache this early in the morning."

"Hey Jonathan!"  Nick called out as I tried to make my way out of the
conference room.
"Morning," I called out waving, barely turning around to do so.
"Hold up!  You and Jason are riding with us right?"
"I don't think so."  By then, the guys had caught up with me right outside
the conference room's door.

"I know the sun is up and all but..."  AJ said as he saw me with my shades on.
"Its not fucking shining inside!"  Nick said laughing.
"Funny Nick, real funny.  I'm actually doing you all a favor in covering my
bloodshot eyes and dark eye bags."
"You paint a nice picture of yourself there Jonathan."  Howie said, grinning.

"Where's Jason?"  Brian asked as he walked next to me.
"He's outside waiting."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Brian looking at me with a curious look
across his face.  We met up with Jason outside and boarded the busses.  We
all sat in the front lounge, not wanting to get to comfortable since the
airport was only about a 20 minute ride from the hotel.  Once the busses were
on their way, I noticed Brian staring at me, with the same odd look on his
face.  I turned to him and quietly asked.  "And you are staring at me
because?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.  Its just that, well, I find it a little weird
that you've been wearing your sunglasses all morning.  You stepped out of the
elevators this morning with them on and they haven't come off."

"Like I said, my eyes hurt and I have a slight headache.  Bright light will
only make it worse."  I said.
"Actually, you said the reason for wearing the sunglasses was that you have
bags under your eyes and your eyes are bloodshot."

I didn't care to respond to Brian.  I just turned in my seat and lay my head
back on the seat and tried to relax a bit.

We reached the airport and started to get off the busses.  I stood up to make
my way out just as AJ was pulling his book bag off from an overhead
compartment.  He swung his bag down and hit me on my side.

"Ouch!  Damn it AJ, could you be a little more careful!"  I screamed out and
grabbed onto my side.  AJ jumped back a little surprised at my reaction,
along with Kevin, Brian and Howie who were still on the bus.
"Sorry Jonathan.  I didn't mean to..."  AJ said, taking a couple steps back.

I took a deep breath and gathered myself.  "Its okay, I'm sorry.  I didn't
mean to yell at you.  It just surprised me, that's all."  I forced a smile
and walked off the bus.

*****

"Is he not a morning person or what?!"  AJ said.
"Yeah, I don't think he's had his coffee yet," Howie added.

"I don't think that's it," Brian said as he pulled his bag over his shoulder.
 "I don't think that's it at all."
"What do you mean Roc?"  AJ asked.
"I don't know.  It just doesn't seem like Jonathan to be acting this way.
Coffee or not."
"Oh come on Roc.  You always think that people have underlying issues
whenever they are moody.  Some people just have bad days."

"Come on guys!  We have to get going or the plane is going to take off
without us!"  Kevin said as he made his way off the bus.  AJ and Howie
quickly followed.

"Something is going on with Jonathan and I am going to find out what it is."
Brian said to himself as he watched everyone walking into the airport.

*******

"I am so freaking tired!!"  Nick moaned as everyone started to exit the vans
that had taken everyone from the airport to the hotel.

"Yeah, tired of sleeping so much," Howie said.  "You slept all night, slept
through most of this morning's meeting and then slept through the whole
flight!"

"Well, what can I say?  I need my beauty sleep."
"Then you haven't slept nearly as much as you need if beauty is what your
reaching for." AJ said.
"Funny, real funny."

"Come on guys, meeting in the hotel's conference room!"  Kevin said.

Everyone piled into the conference room tired from an early wake up call and
half a day of traveling.

"The room keys should be being passed out as I speak."  Kenneth began his
routine speech.  "The Backstreet Boys don't have to be at the arena until 6
PM for a quick sound check.  Some of you have to be there at 5:30 but you
know who you are.  Two vans will take the Boys to the arena.  Please be out
there by 5:45 so we can keep our schedule.  Access Hollywood will be at the
concert tonight.  They will be taping some backstage footage and a quick one
minute interview with you guys," Kenneth said turning to Kevin.  "Leila will
inform you guys on everything you'll need to know."

"Are we going to have press at the hotel?" Kevin asked.
"No, you guys just relax, save your energy for the show tonight," responded
Kenneth.  "James will come by your rooms at around 5:30 and let you guys know
to start getting ready."

"James?  Doesn't Jonathan do that?"  Nick quickly asked.
"Jonathan isn't feeling good today so Leila gave him the day off."  Kenneth
said.  "Anyway, let's head up to our rooms and get some rest."

As everyone started to pile into different elevators, Kevin yelled over to
Nick.  "Don't even think about it Nick!  Leave him alone.  You can check on
him before we leave to the arena."

"Kevin is so annoying! Ugh!"
"You just hate it when he can predict what your up to."  Brian replied.
"Yeah, well that's annoying."
"Oh Billy," Brian said turning to his bodyguard.  "Press 22 for me please."
"Your room is on 37 Brian."
"Nick, mind your own business."
"And when have I ever done that?  I'm sure Kevin wouldn't like what I think
you are going to do."
"Damn you Nick."  Brian said giving Nick a dirty look.
"You know you love me."

******

"Hello?"
"Hey Jonathan, it's me, Brian."  Brian said as I spoke into the phone.
"Hey Brian.  How did the concert go?"
"It went pretty good.  Nick didn't mess up to much."
"Leave poor Nick alone," I said laughing.
"So how are you doing?"  Brian asked.

"I'm all right.  I was just really exhausted.  I'm guess the tough schedule
of touring finally hit me."
"Yeah, it has a way of catching up on you.  Normally we hit the floor as soon
as the tour is over.  Its not a pleasant site."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"So um, I was planning on coming by your room.  Is that cool?"
"UH, well, I don't think it would be...."
"I'm down here in the lobby and I saw Jason at the bar.  It doesn't look like
he'll be up anytime soon."
"But I'm just not feeling really up for company Brian."
"Well, I'm not taking no for an answer.  I'll coming up now."
"BRIAN NO!"  It was too late.  Brian had hung up the phone.


*Knock*Knock*

"Brian!  I told you I wasn't up for having company.  Please go away!"  I
shouted through the door.
"I'm not going anywhere Jonathan!  I'm gonna cheer you up.  Come on, open the
door."  Brian insisted.  "I'm seriously not going to move from here until you
open the door."

I knew how stubborn Brian could be so I didn't have any other choice but to
open the door.  I unlocked the door, shut most of the lights off in the room,
and walked back to one of the couches in the rooms.  "All right, the door is
unlocked.  Come in."

"Could you make it any darker in here?"  Brian said as he walked in.
"I still have a headache so..."
"Don't worry I'm not going to turn them on," Brian assured me.  "Anyway, are
you going to be all right for tomorrow?  Or did you ask for tomorrow off too?"

"I don't think I'm gonna be able to work tomorrow."
"I see.  Well, I'm sure you know that we're leaving for the next city tonight
right after the concert."
"Yeah, I know."
"Is Jason going to be coming along?"
"Yeah, Kevin was nice enough to extend the invitation.  He figured since I'm
not feeling that well that Jason could watch over me."  I said, still not
facing Brian.

"Isn't that nice of Kevin."  Brian said, with a sneer.  "So are you going to
look at me at all or continue to face the wall?"

"Brian, I'm really not in the mood for.."
"Jonathan, what's wrong?"
"I told you already Brian.  I'm really tired and I have..."
"A headache, yeah you've told me.  But I don't believe you Jonathan."  Brian
reached over and grabbed my arm."
"I haven't been feeling good.  I'm just tired Brian.  I don't mean to be rude
but I really need some rest, so if you could.."
"Yeah, I'm sorry again.  I'll let you rest.  I'll... I'll just show myself
out."  Brian stood up and started walking towards the door.  He looked like a
wounded puppy walking away from me.  I couldn't let him leave feeling bad.  I
stood up and walked after him.  As he reached the door I placed my hand on
his shoulder.

"Brian.."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you." Just as I said that Brian turned to face me.  Before I could
look away he looked me straight in my eyes.  He opened his mouth to say
something but just gasped.  I quickly pushed him out the door.

"Jonathan....."  Brian breathed out.
"Goodnight Brian."

I closed the door, leaned back against it and slid down to the floor.  I
didn't know what to do.  I placed my hands on my face and started sobbing.
Not even a couple minutes after I had pushed Brian out of my room, Jason came
charging into the room.  The force Jason used to open the door pushed me a
few feet and I landed face down on the carpet.

"Was that really necessary?"  I said as I started to get up.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON?"  Jason screamed as he shut the door behind him.
"What are you talking about?"  Jason caught me off guard.
"I just saw that little shit, Brian, walk out of our room.  What the fuck was
he doing in here, huh?"
"Jason!  Calm down the fuck down!  Nothing happened.  We were just talking,"
I said walking away from Jason.

"I bet he just came to check up on you.  Is he fucking you?"
"Jason... don't even go there, okay?"
"You were fucking in here weren't you?  I leave for just a little while and
you have a guy in here fucking you!"
"God damn it!  There is no fucking way I am going to put up with this shit
tonight!"
"You fucking slut!"  Jason walked over to me and raised his arm.
"What?  You going to hit me again Jason?  Go ahead, try to hit me you fucking
asshole!  We went at it last night, we'll go at it again tonight."

Jason dropped his army and wrapped his arms around me tight.  "I'm sorry
baby.  You know I love you."
"If you loved me so much, I wouldn't have this black eye!  I'm sick of
hearing you apologize Jason.  I can't take it anymore.  Its the same damn
shit every time.  You get jealous, we start fighting, I end up with a bruise
and you end up apologizing and begging for forgiveness."  I pulled away from
him.

"Oh and you don't hit back?  How the fuck did I get this, huh?" Jason pulled
up his shirt and showed me a big black and blue mark on his side.
"You deserved that Jason.  You deserve a lot more too after everything you've
done to me.  I'm telling you this though.. It is over!"
"You know you don't mean that Jonathan."  Jason said
"I was stupid enough to have you come out here and see me and stupid enough
to get involved with you again but this time I mean it Jason.  Me and you are
through Jason."

"The fuck we are!" Jason reached out and grabbed my arm.  "I'm not letting
you go this time Jonathan."

"Get the fuck off of me Jason!"  I pulled myself away from him and in the
process knocked him down.  Before I could take another step, Jason got up,
pulled me to him and slapped me across the face.

*******

"Guys!  I'm telling you, he had a black eye!"  Brian was pacing back and
forth in front of Kevin, AJ, Nick and Howie.
"Are you sure?  You said the lights were off.  Maybe it was just a shadow or
something Brian," Howie said.
"No! I'm telling you.  He didn't even look at me the whole time I was there!
And when I reached over to him he freaked!  He flinched and pulled away so
fast!  Not to mention he yelled at me."  Brian ran his hands through his hair.
"I don't know Brian, I'm kind of with Howie on this one," AJ spoke up.  He
had been quiet up until then since Brian had called them into his room.
"Damn it you guys!  I know what I saw!"  Brian yelled out.

"Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, it does make some sense."  Kevin
said as he stood up from the armchair.  "I mean, he was wearing his
sunglasses the whole day.  I mean, who wears their sunglasses at 6 in the
morning inside a hotel and on an airplane?"

"Well....." Nick started.
"All right, besides AJ of course," Kevin said, correcting himself.
"This isn't a time to be joking around you guys!  Something is definitely
wrong with Jonathan.
"Okay, so let's say he has a black eye.  What does that tell us?  Nothing!  I
mean, he could have fallen and not wanted to tell us about it.  Or he got in
a fight with someone on the crew.  Even with Ben maybe.  I don't think he
likes him very much," Nick said, getting serious.

"I don't know Nick.  It just seems a lot more serious than a simple fight."
Brian said.
"Brian, what are you trying to say?"  Kevin said.
"What I'm trying to say is... I think, well, I don't know why I think this...
I just feel that Jason hit Jonathan."
"What?"
"Yeah, I think Jason beat Jonathan up.  I mean, the sunglasses, him going off
on AJ.  You saw how he grabbed his side when AJ hit him with his bag.  And
AJ's bag had nothing but a couple of towels and some toiletries."
"Yeah, it did seem like it hurt him."  AJ said, thinking back to earlier that
day.
"And he asked for the whole day off and told me he was taking tomorrow off,"
Brian continued.

"So let's say Jason did hit him.  They got in a fight.  That is not our
business.  Jonathan would have told us something if he wanted us to get
involved."  Howie spoke up again.

"I don't think Jonathan hit back though," Brian said.

"Are we talking about the same Jonathan?  He would kick the crap out of
anyone who disrespected him!" Nick said.
"Nick's got a point Brian.  Jonathan doesn't take shit from anyone.  We all
realized that pretty quickly."  Howie said.
"I don't know you guys.  I think there is something real wrong."  Brian
finally took a seat.
"Listen, if it will make you feel any better, we'll go downstairs right now
and talk with him, okay?  The faster we settle this the better." Kevin said.

Nick decided he was going to, so him Kevin and Brian made their way out of
the room and started towards Jonathan's room.


*Knock Knock*

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!"
"TRY AND HIT ME AGAIN YOU BASTARD!"

"What the fuck......"  Kevin, Brian and Nick heard yelling coming from
Jonathan's room.
"We have to get in there Kevin!!!!" Brian screamed.  "Nick!  Go get security!
 We need to open this door!"

Kevin grabbed the door knob and turned it.  "No need, its open.  But go get
Billy and Raul just in case we need some help!"

Kevin and Brian quickly made their way into the room.

"I told you Jason!  Its over!!  You are out of my life!"
"You don't mean that baby!  You know I love you!"
"I'm telling you Jason, don't fucking touch me or I will hit you where it
hurts the most!"  Jason and I were in the bedroom.  He was climbing over the
bed to reach me.  I was walking towards the door.

"Jonathan!! Stop this shit and listen to me!"  Jason reached over to me and
tried to grab my arm.

"He said don't touch him!"  Kevin walked into the bedroom and grabbed Jason's
hand.  "Or did you just not understand?"

"Get your fucking hands off of me!"  Jason yanked his hand from Kevin's grip
and tried to grab at me once more.  "This is between me and Jonathan!  So
stay the fuck out of it!  Tell him Jonathan!  Tell him this is between you
and me."

I didn't know what to do.  I couldn't move, I couldn't talk.  I had Brian and
Kevin glaring at me, looking like they were ready to kick the crap out of
Jason.  And I had Jason looking at me with those eyes.  I was always a sucker
for those emerald green eyes.  As much as I was hating Jason at that point
for everything he had put me through I just couldn't help but think about the
2 years we had spent together.  I knew I had to get him out of my life.  He
was causing me nothing but heartache, not to mention the black and blues I
had all over my body from our fighting matches.  Accepting the fact that I
needed to get him out of my life, I thought was the hard part but actually
doing it was proving to be the really difficult part.

"Baby?"  Jason was doing what he knew always worked on me.. sweet talking me.
 It had worked many times.  After long arguments, physical fights, black
eyes, sore bruises... his sweet talk made me forgive him and take him back.
Part of it was also that on some level I was afraid of him.  I certainly
fought back when we got into our physical fights.  The thing was, Jason
always threw the first punch or pushed first.  His jealousy and his temper
were things I sometimes thought I wouldn't be able to control.  I'm certainly
one to get jealous but never like Jason.  A friend once told me something
that haunted me since.  'Jason is absolutely obsessed with you.  I think that
if he's not gonna be able to have you, no one else ever will.'

"Jonathan!"  Brian yelled, making me snap out of it.  I looked at him and
then at Kevin.  Both were just standing there waiting for me to either ask
them to leave and mind their own business or have them help me out.

"Baby...."
"Don't Jason."
"But..."
"I'm sorry, I just can't anymore.  I can't take it, I can't take you
anymore."  I walked over to Jason and stood face to face with him.  "You've
done to much to me.  I just can't forget it."  I gave him a quick kiss and
stepped away from him.  He reached for me but I stepped behind Brian.
"Good-bye Jason."

"Baby no! I'm sorry! I'M SO FUCKING SORRY!!  You know how much you mean to me
baby!  I love you!  I didn't mean to hit you!  I never meant to hurt you!
It'll never happen again, I swear!"  He reached for me again but I stayed
behind Brian.

"I think you need to leave now."  Kevin said.  He put himself between Jason
and Brian and me and showed him the door.

"YOU STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS, YOU HEAR ME!  ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"
Jason pushed Kevin aside and this time he was able to grab my arm.  "You are
mine Jonathan!!  I'm not going to let you go!  YOU HEAR ME!  I'M NOT GOING TO
LET YOU GO JONATHAN!"

"Let go of me Jason!  Or do you want to give me another bruise, huh?!?!"  I
yelled.
"Get the fuck off of him!  NOW!"  Brian threw himself on Jason, making them
both fall to the floor.  Before Jason could get up Brian grabbed him around
the neck.  "You listen to me!  You stay the fuck away from him!!  Don't ever
lay a hand on him again or I will fucking kill you!"

"Brian no!  Get off of him!  Kevin do something!"  Before I could try and pry
Brian off of Jason I felt hands grabbing me and pulling me away.  I realized
that Kevin and Brian's bodyguards had entered the room.   Billy pulled Brian
off of Jason and grabbed Jason by the arms.

"Mr. Branthis was just leaving us Billy.  Can you please make sure he makes
his way to the airport and on a flight back to New York."  Kevin said to
Brian's bodyguard.

"No problem."  Billy and Raul grabbed Jason and started pulling him away.

"I love you Jonathan!  I'll make this up to you all right?  I'll make you
forgive me!  I love you!"

I couldn't believe what had just happened.  I was in shock.  I was sitting on
the bed, tears rolling down my eyes.  I couldn't tell if it was from how bad
my face hurt where Jason had hit me or because I had said good-bye to Jason..
for real this time.  I was so in shock I barely felt Brian sit next to me and
wrap his arms around me.  I must have cried for hours in Brian's arms.  The
last thing I remember was putting my head on Brian's lap and feeling so
exhausted I couldn't keep my eyes open.

To Be Continued....

Comments, Concerns, Criticisms, Praises:  dreamkiid@yahoo.com