Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2018 15:30:19 -0800
From: christopher <breakingthroughstory@gmail.com>
Subject: Breaking Through 7

A very big thank you to all of the readers who have taken the time to send
kind messages for the first few chapters of the story. I very much
appreciate it.  Please send any feedback, complaints, and correspondence to
breakingthroughstory@gmail.com. I'm looking forward to continuing this
creative endeavor in 2018 and hope to rebuild the sense of community that
had been established the first time around between readers and writers.

This new story will take place in a loose version of the present day and
most of the main ideas from the first go-round will remain. With a 10-year
jump in time, some things have changed. The new story will do away with a
lot of the tertiary characters in the old narrative. The usual disclaimers
apply. This is fiction.

Please donate to this Nifty. http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html

Chapter 7

With an evening of being designer arm candy and another sheltered from the
real world in what may very well have been a castle built with Disney
money, Chris crashed back to the real world. He met Sebastian for post-run
green juice like any self-respecting Californian. He wrote. He edited and
wrote some more. He took baby steps away from the movie production, only
coming in when they absolutely needed him. A tiny rewrite. A question about
the costumes another day. Some soundtrack options in a quick
videoconference.

He made a point of not going on set, not even getting a copy of the
shooting schedule, which would include some travel for the whole crew. He
managed to stay out of it all. That deserved a commendation.

"You seem really good," Sebastian mentioned over coffee one
morning. "Something must be going right."

Chris shrugged, pushing his sunglasses back up his nose. "Nothing's going
wrong. Is that the same?"

Sebastian shrugged. "I'm happy for you, man. Whatever's happening."

"General self-care. Eating healthy. Running with you. Drinking lots of
water."

"You told me you didn't know how to relax, but you seem to be doing just
fine."

"We should go to Disneyland," Chris said abruptly, eager to switch the
conversation to something a little lighter. "Can you get us in for free?"

"No. But I can clear my schedule."

"I haven't been in so long." Chris was smiling from ear-to-ear at the mere
thought of it, long lines and all. "Let me know when you can go. I'm
free. I can drive. We can even stay down in Anaheim if you want." Chris'
words were shooting out so fast, Sebastian could barely understand them.

"I'm free," Sebastian responded, taken aback by the sudden onslaught of
excitement. "Just calm down."

As much as Chris wanted to go to Disneyland, the first day they'd chosen
ended up being a rainy one. So, instead of eating churros and riding
Pirates of the Caribbean, Chris wondered if it was okay to feed ducks
leftover quinoa as he watched a couple of mallards swim down the
canal. Nothing ruined plans like impromptu rain, especially since it
happened so rarely in Southern California. Who had the foresight to check
the weather when it was sunny just about every single day? He wondered if
Jake would take offense to the idea of coming over just to cuddle. The rain
called for it.

Armie wouldn't object, but Chris was keeping him at arm's length for
now. When the movie wrapped, he'd consider it. Chris even played with the
idea of keeping things at a low simmer with Armie until he'd finished
promoting the movie, too. Better safe than sorry -- Chris was still
wrestling with the idea of being in another relationship that involved
awards shows, movie premieres and waiting in the greenroom of "The Late
Late Show." Normalcy didn't come with dating an actor or anyone in the
entertainment industry, but part of him hoped that he could be the normalcy
that actors always said they wanted.

The day they rescheduled, Sebastian's agent called and he had to rush to an
audition. Chris wasn't about to stand in the way of that--and neither was
Mickey Mouse. And when the third day fell through, too, they both stopped
trying to sync their calendars.

"You're in a good mood," Jake said, settling in on one of the stools in
Chris' kitchen. Without having to ask, Chris was already rummaging for
everything to make coffee for the two of them. After Disneyland seemed like
nothing more than an actual fantasy, Chris dug through his email and
realized he had one more looming deadline. But it involved Jake, which made
things both harder and easier.

"Just keeping on," Chris said, arranging two pour-over cones over their
respective mugs. He'd seen the process so many times in coffee shops and
done it himself just as many. He could do it in his sleep. He often did it
half-asleep. "I need your help," he finally said, his eyes focused on the
process even though his words were directed at Jake.

Jake had dropped everything as soon as Chris called. He had a full day, but
it didn't matter. It was a relief, really. He needed a break. "You've got
me."

"It's not that exciting," Chris said, still concentrating on pouring hot
water over the coffee grounds. Satisfied with his spiral, he watched, rapt,
as the water slowly dripped through. "But I need you for a whole day. Or
the studio does, I guess. I can be there if you want."

Jake's mouth formed an O as he nodded. He gears in his head whirred around
and he remembered the process. If any one of Chris' books became popular
enough, they'd be optioned for an audiobook. That's where he came in. Jake
had done the readings for every single one. Divorce and all, it looked like
that wasn't about to change.

"Anything for you. I mean that."

Chris smiled, handing him the warm mug of black coffee. "I have a new agent
at Penguin, his name is David, because they moved me to a different
imprint, but it should be the same as last time. I can send you the
info. Or we can go together."

"Whatever works," Jake said. He'd always considered it an honor and a
privilege to take on the task of narrating all of Chris' work. It may have
seemed like such a minor thing to so many people, but it was one thing that
only Jake had done for Chris. "I can fit it in."

Chris sat down on another stool and rested his head on Jake's
shoulder. "It's sort-of short, so maybe it won't even take all day."

"I'll keep my voice rested," Jake said, running his nose through Chris'
hair. While they were together, he kept it combed back, but these days, he
kept it looser, chopping it short. It felt new against Jake's face.

"Does my agent need to call yours? Is this an official business
transaction?"

"It's a favor," Jake said. "I'll take care of all that. I don't want you
worrying about it. You couldn't afford me, anyway."

"I can be very convincing," Chris said. "I used to get you to agree to
things all the time."

"That's what being married is about," Jake said, chuckling. "Compromise."

"Thank you for letting me think that I wielded some sort of power, then."

"This is good coffee." Jake kissed Chris' forehead softly.

"I do have one more thing to ask you," Chris said, bolting upright. "I
completely forgot."

Jake simply raised an eyebrow and took a long sip.

"What do you know about Armie Hammer?"

That night, as Chris tried his best to tackle Ancho-Orange Chicken with
Kale Rice and Roasted Carrots, he mulled over everything Jake had told
him. Entitled. Self-absorbed. Difficult to work with when he was
hungry. Size 14 feet that gave the wardrobe department a lot of trouble --
not that Chris wasn't all of those things, too, aside from the big
shoes. Jake wasn't a saint, either. But having someone else confirm some of
the things he'd read during that shameful night of combing TMZ seemed to
hit close to home and heart alike. Maybe Armie's mix of startling good
looks -- Chris recalled literally losing his breath just looking at the guy
-- and overeager need to please everyone mixed with his pedigree rubbed
everyone the wrong way. Distracted by his own wandering mind, he burned the
chicken.

"Hey," he texted Sebastian. "Want to order some pizza?"

Jake was true to his word and scheduling a recording session was no problem
at all. About a week later, Jake's car rolled into Chris' driveway and the
two of them drove to the studio together. Already familiar with the book,
Jake asked for some hot tea and went right into the studio's padded
booth. Chris watched as Jake took a seat and read. Chris closed his eyes
and just listened to the words. They were his, but hearing Jake's
interpretation of the story was fascinating and slightly
uncomfortable. There were parts of the book he couldn't bear to listen to,
but that's what the mute button was for. He used it liberally.

There were tiny inflections that only came along with a close, intimate
familiarity with the work. Jake was gesturing with his hands, even though
nobody would be able to see it. Chris could hear it, though, as strange as
that idea was. Chris didn't know if Jake was performing for him or just so
deep into the process that he didn't know what he was doing. Chris glanced
back at the technician working the booth, noting that he looked very, very
bored.

"How was that?" Jake asked. He'd finished the entire book one time through
and it was already well into the afternoon. He still had to reread a few
passages and work on some of the dialogue.

"Amazing. Nobody else can do it like you do."

Jake smiled, pulling Chris into a hug. "We'll get this done before dinner."

"You should save your voice," Chris said, his hands sliding down Jake's
arms. His fingers traced over Jake's and they held hands loosely.

"I just need dinner, not a vow of silence."

"I ordered food."

Jake kicked his feet up on the rectangular coffee table that was set up
just outside the booth and set the takeout on his lap. Chris sat on the
opposite side of the table, but he wasn't getting quite as comfortable as
Jake. "We should have tried harder," Jake said. "I miss you a lot."

The sudden confession surprised Chris. "It did seem sudden from my end,"
Chris said, his voice low.

"It was too fast. It all moved too fast," Jake said, pushing his salad
around. Chris was looking right at him, but Jake's eyes were turned down to
his food.

"Why is this coming up now?"

Jake didn't respond. He'd just shoved a forkful of greens into his mouth.

"Is this because I asked you about Armie?"

"It's not that. I didn't know that seeing you with him or with anyone would
make me feel like this. I'm not jealous. It's something else with it."

It was Chris' turn to sit in awkward silence. "Things like this probably
don't help."

"Kissing you doesn't help. I thought...I didn't know what I thought would
happen. It's harder than I expected."

"You really hurt me," Chris said before adding, "I think we really hurt
each other."

Jake sighed. "Your book is getting into my head. I lived it already."

Chris doubted that, but if Jake wanted a scapegoat, he'd allow it. If Jake
expected him to come back, it wouldn't be with something as easy as a favor
and one confession. "Do you think that someone will come along to make you
forget all about me?"

"Never," Jake said without hesitation. "But nobody will ever break my heart
the way you did, either."

During the second part of recording, which ended up focusing on dialogue,
Chris had to shut off the audio feed. He couldn't listen to it, especially
since so much of the dialogue was pulled straight from conversations that
the two of them had. Chris didn't know if Jake could tell, but hearing the
emotion in his voice gave Chris reason to believe that he knew exactly
where those words came from.

The drive home was in near-silence, but Jake held Chris' hand over the
gearshift the whole time. When they arrived back at Chris' house, there was
nothing more than a simple thank you between them. Chris watched as Jake
drove off and gave him a weak wave, hoping that this wouldn't be the last
time that they'd ever see each other. If it was, he wouldn?t' be able to
live with himself.

Chris wouldn't call the recording session disastrous, but even with his
expansive and colorful vocabulary, he couldn't figure out any other way to
describe it. Thinking about it hurt his heart and his brain in equal
measure. At the beginning of the day, Chris had hoped that they'd spend the
evening together. But now, as Jake drove off and Chris stepped into his
empty house, he saw how foolish that idea had been. He shut the door and
leaned against it, letting his body slide down, down until he sat down on
the floor, his legs splaying out in front of him. With a long sigh, Chris
let the tears fall from his eyes.

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