Date: Sun, 26 Feb 2006 13:34:34 -0800 (PST) From: Mark Subject: The Important Things in Life - chapter 3 Disclaimer : I don't know Jake Gyllenhaal and this is a work of fiction. I know nothing about his private life and don't mean to suggest anything regarding his sexuality either. The Important Things in Life - chapter 3 I woke up the next morning with the sun in my eyes. Looking drearily to my left I could see that the curtains had been opened. I glanced to the side and saw that Jake was no longer lying beside me, and I hadn't felt him get up. I hoped that he was somewhere near, and shuddered at the alternative that he had panicked somehow and left in the early hours. As if my thoughts were audible, I heard a soft metallic clang emanate from the kitchen. Smiling, I sat up and ran my hand over the impression which he had made on my bed. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I took a moment to stretch and I yawned savagely. I was actually hungry for the first time in two days, and if Jake was doing anything, I was glad that it was in the kitchen. I stood and walked inquisitively to the kitchen but stopped well short when I saw him standing at the counter, facing away from me. He was making something, but every now and again I saw an egg or tomato in his hand. I leaned against the wall and stared. I could have stood there for hours. His shirtless form was flawless, even from the back. Standing there in last night's pants with his slightly untidy hair made him so desirable I couldn't take it. His back was muscular with an athletic curve, and every few moments he would pause and stare out of the window when he spotted something. Sometimes he would laugh, sometimes he would snort... and sometimes he would do nothing but go back to whatever it was which was occupying his time. I looked up for a moment, as if staring at the heavens. If there is a more amazing and perfect guy on this earth, please show him to me. I knew there wasn't, so I didn't feel bad initiating a divine challenge. I walked up behind him, making every effort to remain stealthy. I was eternally grateful that I was wearing no shoes, and for once my attire was how I wanted it to be. I was close now, and I could feel the heat coming off his body. I softly wrapped my arms around his waist, his toned abs greeting my arms. He shuddered slightly and froze in surprise, but then visibly relaxed and looked over his shoulder. I could see him smiling and a deep warmth boiled in my heart. "Hey," he said jovially, and I felt him lean back into the embrace. "I was going to surprise you with an omelette." He tried to turn around but my arms tightened and I rested my mouth in the nape of his neck. I was enjoying this too much, and he would have to stay put until I was sated. I rubbed my right hand up and down his chest and abs, driven almost to the point of insanity by his defined physique and light dusting of chest hair. Not that he was a victim. He groaned softly every time my hands reached his chest. "You made so much noise I thought my oven had exploded," I murmured softly into his neck, the lie causing me to smile. "I did not!" he said indignantly, then shook his head in amusement to spoil the effect. "No you didn't," I admitted sheepishly. "Did you see anything you liked while peering out the window?" He muttered out of frustration. "You've been watching me too? I really need to improve my silent skills. Actually I saw very little of value, and now that I want to see something I know I'll like, you won't let me." He tried to turn, and this time I let him. I tried to resist looking at his hot body, but failed utterly and leered like an idiot causing him to smirk suggestively. His face was close to mine, and I once again felt close to syncope when I was so close to those perfect features. His eyes were potently blue and piercing, and within moments I was on the path to being lost in them forever. His face was less well groomed than last night, but as I touched his rough cheek, I knew that this was how I liked him. No hidden agendas with my Jake. "I'll take care of that after breakfast," he said as if reading my thoughts, except misreading them. I didn't reply but shook my head slightly in answer. Jake appeared caught up in the moment too, and he seemed to be reciprocating my examination of his body with his own thorough examination of mine. He leaned forward until our foreheads met. He ran his hands down the side of my body, and exhaled loudly. His eyes were closed and he looked anguished. "I'm so lucky to have found you, Kevin. Damn you're amazing," he said unexpectedly. I still couldn't believe my effect on him. There was nothing special on this side of the relationship. The real marvel was wrapped in my arms. Jake didn't agree though, and I could see how much he was enjoying the whole situation. I leaned forward and kissed him deeply, and his arms tightened around me as we both savoured the moment. After some time (and it really was no small amount of time), I broke off the kiss with a pant and we embraced one another tightly, as if we were the unique counterparts of some complex formula who had finally found one another. My eyes were closed tightly as I diverted all my feelings to my other senses. The warm feel of his skin, or his disarrayed hair as I ran my hands through it. The feel of his heaving chest and the soft beat of his heart. His heated breath as it touched the back of my neck and then ran down my back. It was too much. Like all my experiences with Jake, I was emotionally paralyzed for a few moments after our encounter. My nose twitched, and I looked down quickly and with wide eyes. "Fuck! Jake, the omelette!" I shouted urgently as I saw fire rising from the pan. The contents had long since burned to char. "Shit!" he shouted and flew round to grab the flaming pan before throwing it in the sink and dousing it with water. It bubbled for a moment, and then surrendered quietly. Jake stood there looking at the pot dejectedly. I walked up beside Jake and stared at the pan too. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders, and my mouth twitched. "Is that how it's supposed to look?" I asked cruelly, but I couldn't help myself. Jake couldn't help himself either, and he broke down into laughter. "You bastard," he said at odds to his tone. "One day you're going to pay for your snide remarks." I kissed his shoulder and smiled naughtily. "I look forward to your retribution." I sat on the kitchen counter while Jake cleaned the pan, and remade the omelette. We didn't speak during those few minutes but we definitely communicated. I stared at him for most of the process, my eyes trying to satisfy an insatiable hunger for him. He would toy with the pan during his impressive chef's display, but would look at me often and smile seductively or wink. I could have lived in that moment forever. We lay on the couch and ate lazily, our legs intertwined as we watched the morning news. The omelette was delicious, and I commented on it several times. It covered most of my plate, but I was still hungry when I was finished. I wanted another one, but thought I would be subjected to an arrogant tirade if I asked. I knew Jake, and I doubted he would bypass any opportunity to get a laugh out of me. I waited a moment for Jake to finish too, before I placed both our plates on the table in front of us. Without a word Jake lay flat out on the sofa, and I climbed over and lay in his embrace, my head resting on his chest. "Thanks again for the omelette, babe. It was great." I said warmly. "Glad you liked it. Of course, no one can resist the Jake Omelette," he said proudly. I rolled my eyes, and thanked my instincts that I had, in fact, not asked for another one. He was so predictable. Just one of the many virtues I enjoyed in him. I just laughed and mock punched his stomach, and he grunted softly. "Can you believe Cheney shot his own friend?" Jake said, commenting on the news. "I can believe it. The Force is weak in that one." I said in jest. Jake half sat up and then collapsed under the weight of my body resting on his. His voice was filled with shock and coy amusement. "Damn! Did you just say what I thought you just said?" I wondered what he was referring to and I thought back on my words. "What, the Force?" There was no response and horror dawned on my face. I raised myself up slightly and rested my arms on his chest while I stared stupefied into his eyes. "Wait, wait, wait," I said as if musing the worst catastrophe ever. "Am I in the presence of someone who holds Star Wars in disrepute?" He smiled widely but rolled his eyes in exasperation. "What a load of crud," he said simply, not even having the shame to lower his eyes. My mouth dropped open to drive the point home. "Are you saying that you don't like it at all?" I said, not willing to believe my ears. I didn't feel strongly about the point at all, but he started the trouble and I felt like blowing it out of proportion to amuse myself. "It's the worst invention in the history of the world," he said, driving his own point home. I could see that he was struggling with himself internally, no doubt on the verge of cracking up at my expense again. My face became deadly serious, and a questioning look appeared on his face. "Your answer is unacceptable," I said grimly. "The penalty is death." His frowned curiously but without hesitation I reached down and plucked one of his chest hairs out. I leaped off of him before his inevitable response arrived, and arrive it did. He gasped in pain and curled into a ball, writhing around on the long couch. "Ah fuck that hurts!" he shouted in anguish. I was already hiding behind the couch on the opposite side of the room, my eyes the only visible part of me sticking above the couch. A squirrel hiding from a lion. I was shaking with laughter. A second later he stopped his thrashing, and scanned the room for me, his face contorted with rage. When his eyes found me, they softened considerably, but he spoke in a dangerous tone. "You're a dead man," he said and without delay he sprung from the couch in my direction. I bolted away from him, laughing in desperation, but he was too quick for me. He tapped my ankle and tripped me, sending me sprawling across the smooth wooden floors. He pounced on me, and his eyes were heated and determined. I resisted and tried to push him off me using all my strength. He was stronger though, and I was slowly losing the contest of wills. Besides, I was laughing too hard to contribute to the combat in any meaningful manner. "Don't fall to the Dark Side, Jake," I said hysterically. His enraged face opened into laughter, which he tried uselessly to suppress. "If you don't cut that shit, I really am going to kill you, you retard!" I laughed even harder and felt my arms weaken under the pressure as he lay over me. He was smiling himself, but at the same time still trying to appear furious. My arms buckled and Jake collapsed flat onto me, winding me slightly. Pinned to the ground, I watched him glare at me maliciously. I smiled at him. He was apparently satisfied that I was suitably tamed, and he leaned in and kissed me richly. Jakes feral eyes almost pushed me over the edge. They was so erotic that I almost shouted with pleasure. I wrapped my arms around his head, and as he did the same, we continued making out on the floor like two new-found lovers. Soon I would make the decision to go further with Jake, but I had no doubt that he would hold back until I asked. Soon. But not yet. I don't think he cared anyway. He was almost delirious with passion and he lay on my chest panting afterwards, my hand running through his hair. We lay there for about ten minutes before I spoke. I waited for our breathing to calm again, and for other notable signs to settle too. "I have an idea for the rest of the day, Jake," I said breathily. His face never moved and his voice sounded slurred as his cheek lay against my chest. "Rest of the day? I'm exhausted already," he said sounding genuinely out of breath. "How loose is your schedule?" I asked. He slowly lifted his face, and rested his chin on my chest. "I have at least a week off. I have to go to Los Angeles at some stage to sign a new contract." "That is good news," I said with content. "I have an awesome house in Miami. It's private, and perfect for two wild rabbits like us." He chuckled softly. "That does sound great! I'll do anything to be with you. Even fly." Recognition dawned on my face as I realised what he was saying. "Oh shit, Jake. I'm sorry, I forgot about the whole plane thing. If you want we could go somewhere closer... or.." I continued rapidly, but he interrupted me. "Don't worry, Kev. If you're with me, it won't be a problem. I'm sure of that." He grinned at me and I played with his short fringe. "Awesome," I said simply. "I'll arrange the plane. You want to get ready so long? Pick out some of my clothes in that wardrobe to wear. The button is next to the bed." He nodded once and got up, but not before dragging his hand down my body and getting his final fix for the next few minutes. He disappeared into the bathroom, and I heard water running. I picked up the phone and dialled, and while waiting for a response I heard him start to sing like a fool in the shower. "Kate Reid, good morning," came the answer. "Hey Kate. It's me," I said happily. Kate was my personal assistant and it was very unusual that I hadn't spoken to her for nearly two days. I trusted her with all my secrets, and she was on a first-name basis with me, unlike all those pricks on the board who maintained my stature. "Hey Kevin!" she shouted into the phone. "How was London? The big guns here are still praising their mastery two days later, if you'll believe that." "I'll believe it, Kate," I said conceitedly. "Listen, I need the jet fuelled in an hour. I'm going to my place in Miami for a few days with someone I met." "Oh my god!" she shrieked into the phone, sending a sharp pain into my ear. "Who is he? Is he hot... or famous? Better get some surety signed before you go any further," she said suddenly, a mix between humour and seriousness. I laughed once, then stopped. "He's the best guy I've ever been around, and I promise you that's no exaggeration. And it's not like that. This one's different." I was right about this. I knew it deep in my bones. "Alright, but I did warn you," her tone laced with hazard yet still seeming cheerful. "I'll have the jet ready within the hour. Just get yourself and your hot man lover there, okay?" I laughed. She was priceless. "Will do. So how's Dave and the kids?" She laughed into the phone. "You suck at small talk, Kevin. Cheers babe." She hung up, still giggling into the phone. I smiled at the receiver and replaced it. She was more like a sister to me, and about the right age too. If it wasn't for her I think I would have jumped ship years ago. Jake was still busy in the shower, his singing filled with passion and disharmony (which is why I loved it so much). I walked over to the kitchen and quickly cleaned all the dirty utensils. After a few minutes he surfaced looking better than ever, and sadly, fully clothed. I swept my eyes over him. "Are you trying to kill me with your sexiness? Because you're on a winning path, mister," I said loosely. He smiled at me, still buttoning the top button on his shirt. His hair was styled and his face was smooth, and he smelled great even from a distance. My clothes looked better than I thought, or perhaps anything looked good on him. I walked past him and slid my hand down his cheek. He gravitated toward the caress, but I walked on and into the bathroom. After cleaning myself up, I got dressed, and looked for Jake who was coincidently tapping a few keys on the piano in the other room. "You like my masterpiece?" he said jokingly. "I like anything you do," I said honestly, but hid it behind a humorous retort. We smiled at one another and then made our way to the car. "Nice cars," Jake said as we entered the garage. "Which is yours?" "Bays 10 to 27 are all mine. I usually drive my little blue. Small, zooty and full of attitude." We both chuckled but headed for the car and sat down. Racing out of the apartment, I could see that Jake was already enjoying the convertible experience, even though I doubted it was his first time. "So," he said turning to me. "No hand luggage, no luggage. Airports don't like that sort of thing, you know." I laughed. "We don't need luggage. We're flying in my private jet from a secluded airstrip. As for luggage, we don't need any. My place in Miami is fully stocked, and if you don't like that stuff, we can buy stuff when we arrive there." I just shook his head and smiled. Perhaps my assets were starting to surprise even him. As we were passing the main skyline, he spotted my building (which was difficult to miss considering it was so enormous). "Sandomere Towers," Jake said approvingly. "How about a tour sometime, Kev?" He was smiling at the building widely, no doubt expecting acquiescence from me, but turned when I didn't respond. His smile disappeared abruptly when he saw my face. I glanced at the rear-view mirror and realised I was scowling. I found it almost impossible to keep any sense of loathing from my face when I looked upon my company in any form. I smiled at Jake for a second before my face became serious again, but it was far too late to cover my initial reaction. He continued looking at me in an analytical way for several minutes before starting to examine the scenery again. We drove in a comfortable silence for over an hour, his right hand toying with my shoulder as his arm lay across the back of the seat. When we finally arrived at the airstrip, my Boeing Business Jet was waiting there, the engines grinding noisily as they wound up. I turned off the car in the middle of the tarmac and boarded the plane with Jake tailing me. "Morning captain," I said as I entered. "Morning sir. Weather is fine for the journey," he said with his usual response. "Great news," I said. "Get us there half an hour early and I'll set you guys up for dinner at any restaurant." Jake looked at me with amusement, but I merely shrugged with innocence. "Consider it done, Mr Sanderson." Kate would organise someone to take care of my car, both here and in Miami. Shortly after we boarded the stewardess closed the door and we taxied to the runway. Jake's seat faced mine, which was wonderful in that I could look at him for the duration of the flight. He smiled at me, but his hands were gripping the armrests. I leaned forward and placed my hands on his thighs and looked into his eyes. He relaxed almost instantly, and he took my hands in his and held them tightly. We flew along the runway and took off into the skies, and Jake stared into my eyes until we were at our cruising altitude. My presence really did help him, and more than I anticipated too. It wasn't a long flight, so we got hold of some champagne before we could start descending again. "What's the occasion?" He said smugly. "You are the occasion. I feel lucky to have you." It was so easy to speak the blind truth in these situations, which was a rare change in my life. We toasted and drank cheerily. We chatted now and again, but most of the time we just sat in silence. I took my shoes off and rested my legs on Jake's thighs. He was content to remain in his sitting position possibly still due to a remnant of fear which had attached itself to him. Just before I dozed off I realised that he was looking at me in that questioning manner again, and I knew that something was bothering him. It would mean trouble eventually, but I thought perhaps my dreams could carry it off to a place where it would remain hidden forever. I woke up to Jake tapping my nose with his finger, his boyish grin enjoying my slumbering form once again. "We're here already, sleepyhead. You really can sleep through anything, can't you?" he said in awe. "But apparently not through your cooking," I said devilishly. He seized my head in his hands and pretended to throw it around violently, except that he did no such thing, and only laughed afterwards. Forced into consciousness, I put on my shoes and thanked the stewardess behind a yawn. The pilots were very pleased with themselves and I gave them a wad of cash to enjoy themselves with. There was a silver Mercedes C-class waiting on the tarmac for us. Whatever. Kate made sure that a different car was available each time, and sometimes I had to talk to her earnestly when the variation became a little excessive. Driving to a board meeting in a Humvee stretched the limits of humour, after all. It was a very short drive to my apartment in Miami. Set on a mountainous area overlooking the sea, it was isolated from any other form of accommodation for a vast distance. It really was a palace, and probably one of my favourite houses in the world. Huge white walls clung to the cliff and the two story apartment had a huge area. The balcony was perfect for sunbathing, or swimming... or whatever. Jake was captivated from the start, and I felt happy that I could please him. Walking in, he looked at the entertainment area which dwarfed even my New York apartment. "This place is huge!" he said. "It's so beautiful I can hardly believe it. The paintings. The furniture. It's all so perfect." He was staring around in wonder, and I felt a rush of pride in my home. "It's only perfect now that you're in it," I said cheesily, but he accepted the compliment graciously. "You want to swim? I love this pool," I said enthusiastically. Naturally, Jake agreed and we swam. We swam for hours and then lay in the sun for a few more, sometimes talking rubbish, and sometimes talking sense. The conversation was irrelevant, anyway. It was his presence which nurtured me. Later that evening we changed into some casual clothes and were lazing about inside on the verge of discussing dinner options. That look entered his eyes and suddenly I was filled with apprehension. Surely he wouldn't make an issue of something in such a setting! He sat up and looked at me, and I knew I was mistaken. "Kevin, I want to ask you something," he said deadly seriously. My defences went up immediately. I wasn't ready for this, whatever it was. It must be disastrous for him to approach me in such a way. "Ok," I said, my voice far more stable than my thoughts. "Why do you hate your company so much?" he asked curiously. "No reason really," I said instantly, but immediately cursed the absurd excuse which I had supplied. Jake continued as if I hadn't said anything. "I mean, I know there's a lot of crap which you have to put up with when running a big company and all, but it has provided you with a unique lifestyle, an element of fame, and it's spread your invention around the world. I doubt anyone would consider that a problem." I could see he was treading lightly, but that didn't mean that he was going to turn back from his doomed path. I was getting angrier by the word too. It felt like the whole issue was coming to a head, a volcano at its peak just before the colossal explosion which followed. I had to control the situation before it became unstable. "I don't want to talk about it anymore, Jake. I mean it. Let's just drop it." I looked at the floor while I said it, not trusting my response if I looked at his face. I stood to help enforce my opinion. "Bad idea, Kevin. There is something underlying there, and I want to know what." He was serious. He had to back down. He had to! "I said no, Jake, and I meant it." I was more insistent this time, but my voice trembled as I said it. I was rapidly losing control. "Tell me!" he shouted out of nowhere, anger etched on his face. I took a step back, my eyes open wide. "Please Jake, stop! I don't want you to go there. Please!" I literally begged him, trembling with fear. "Talk Kevin! I'm tired of seeing this bullshit eat you up!" He seemed even angrier than before. His eyes were focused on mine, the power of his glare made me hesitate. His entire posture shouted determination. "Not you Jake. Please don't push me like this! Anyone but you!" My pleading had reached frantic levels, but I knew in my heart that he wouldn't back down. "Tell me," he said more softly this time, but his tone was dangerous and sinister. He was daring me to refuse. "No! And for the last time ..." I started defiantly, feeling drained from this entire exchange. "Tell me!" he roared. I stood there trembling, shaking with a control I knew I had lost. I could feel the immensity of the imminent explosion, and I was afraid. But amidst the fear I could feel anger and hatred building up in me. It was building so quickly I wanted to gasp at its ferocity. In that last moment of tenuous balance, I looked at Jake with the deepest pain on my face. He was staring at me impassively, merely waiting, with no signs that he'd ever been angry, but his eyes were expectant. And then I felt a wave come over me as all my suppressed emotions were released at once. I was so angry I felt as if the air itself had caught fire, my spirit surged with hatred like all the seas of the world surging into a storm. "You want to know?! You want to know?!" I shouted as loud as my voice would allow. So loud that it broke even as I emptied my lungs. "I hate my life, Jake! Hate the fact that I was never appreciated, and even now that I've got everything I'm still not appreciated. I'm fucking sick of it! I'm sick of it!!" I picked up the side-table with my right hand and swung round hurling it through the sliding door with an huge crash as the glass rained down all over the balcony. "My parents died without knowing who I was! They didn't get a chance to see the real me, just some rich shit who could fuck around on a computer! I hate it that I could never tell them! I hate them for dying! I fucking hate everything!" I ran to the wall and pulled a heavy painting from its hinges before throwing it off the cliff, my scream following its fall. Swinging round to Jake, I could see him leaning back against the far wall looking at me impassively, with no expression on his face. "Don't fucking look at me, Jake! I didn't want you to see me like this, but you couldn't take a fucking hint! Motherfuckers! I hate them all! I want them dead!" I smashed every ornament in site, and kicked my plasma screen until it was a cracked mess on the floor, my anguished grunts following every blow. I was panting with exhaustion but I was fueled by a fire which could not be extinguished. "Even after they died, my relatives pretended to sympathize only to get my money, and when I did help them, they jumped ship like fucking rats when I told them I was gay. The sorry shits, I want them to fucking die!!" I pushed over the entertainment unit and its contents flew wildly all over the floor, some rolling outside and onto the balcony. Jake was still looking at me with those placid eyes, his face more unreadable than ever. It drove me almost to the point of insanity that I couldn't see any blatant emotion on his face. "I hate that the only people who ever make any contact with me, only want contact with my assets. The selfish fucks! It's never enough! They always want more!" I picked up a marble sculpture and pummeled it into the wall until it broke into an unrecognizable ruin. There wasn't enough in this fucking apartment to break. I wanted to destroy the world! "I couldn't even find someone to love me without wanting fucking a hand on my money! I fucking told you not to look at me!" I yelled. Rushing up to him, I didn't know what my intention was, but I probably intended to threaten him. He continued looking at me, his face as serene as if nothing had happened, and I cracked. I raised my fist and planned to hit him. But I knew I couldn't. It was a cruel joke. I would give almost anything to tear another person to pieces at that moment, but the one person I could never harm stood implacably in front of me. My fist went in for the blow but on its way to his face I deflected my aim and crashed my fist into the wall behind him with enormous force. "Why doesn't anyone fucking listen to me?!" I screamed and I started punching as hard as I could. I was pelting the wall behind Jake as hard as I could, his face tranquil as my hands glided just to the left or right of his face and crashed into the wall he was leaning against. He just looked into my eyes. I was using all my might, the pain in my hands reinforced my desire to destroy anything I could. The plaster behind him cracked and fell to the floor, and small spots of red coated the wall as the skin on my knuckles sheared off. Jake never flinched. "I want it to end, Jake! I want it to end! Do you understand me?! Fucking end!!!" I punched and punched until I physically couldn't manage it anymore. I was gasping with overexertion. Finally I landed my fists on his chest, with no intent to harm, but rather to initiate my last attempt to protect myself from his piercing gaze. I slowly punched his chest, but there was no force in the assault. A child wouldn't have felt it. My hands were weighed down like anchors and my hands burned with pain. I was physically exhausted, and Jake had utterly exposed me. Placing my palms on the ruined wall behind Jake I rested my forehead on his chest. It was then that I realized that his chest was rising rhythmically and calmly. I couldn't believe it. He wasn't afraid, or angry... or disgusted. I felt him wrap his arms around my head, and he whispered into my ear. "You've faced problems which threatened to destroy you, Kevin. Problems which had a grip on you and prevented you from experiencing any sort of true happiness. I'm proud of your courage. I'm so proud to know a man like you. And no matter what happens, know that you'll never again have to face another problem alone." Listening to him soothed my anger, but I was filled with shame and guilt. Shame that I had been reduced to this, and guilt because I didn't deserve to be loved by the most amazing man who had ever lived. I small whimper escaped my lips, but I hid in his embrace and the security his chest offered. Before I could think another whimper escaped, followed by a tear streaking down my cheek. I cried on the rarest occasions, but this situation had broken me down to my basest levels, and I couldn't maintain the facade anymore. One tear followed another, and then another. In moments I was sobbing, tears flowing like rivers and soaking into his shirt, full throated despair ringing from my mouth and softened by his chest. His embraced tightened and I could hear him whispering encouragement into my ear. I cried and I cried. I cried for so long I lost track of time, and when I finally stopped, my eyes burned and were puffy. His embrace never wavered. Looking up, I felt embarrassed and struggled to maintain eye contact with Jake. "I'm so sorry, Jake. I'm so sorry for all the shit I've brought into our relationship since I met you. I'm just so sorry." My breathing was rugged, and an occasional sob still interrupted every few words. I had never felt so emotionally spent. He smiled at me weakly, and his eyes shone with love just like they had done during the worst of my tirade. He pulled me into a hug, and his grip was tight to the point of breathlessness. "Don't feel sorry. You were carrying a burden which would harm anyone. I'm glad you shared it with me. I'm so glad, Kevin." We stood there in an embrace for a very long time, and I felt so completely content in his arms. He pulled away and kissed me deeply. He would never bring up those issues again, or the events which had determined this fall out, and for that reason I knew that I loved him. Truly, deeply loved him with all my soul. End of chapter 3 Thanks again to all those who e-mailed me with feedback. All feedback is highly valued and I appreciate any criticisms, encouragement or general comments. Until next time...