Date: Sun, 14 Jun 2020 04:57:15 -0400
From: Colton Conner <megatronjames@gmail.com>
Subject: Phoenix Rising part 9

Hi guys, here's part 9 of my fictional adventures with my baby boy AKA
Austin Mahone.  I don't know Baby Austin Jac/Jack, or Nick Jonas
personally, nor do I know anything about their sexual preferences.
Please feel free to drop me a line.  megatronjames@gmail.com.


Pillow Talk

Austin is gone for a minute. When he returns, he places a second
Margarita into my paw. I take a sip while Austin fetches another beer
for himself. When the sexy boy settles himself next to me again, I
place a hand on his tummy. He covers it with his own. We don't say
anything for a while, but presently Austin asks me about myself. I
find this to be a curious question and I say so. " well naturally I
have read the dossier on you that was supplied with your application -
Standard procedure don't you know - but I want to hear about you in
your own words. " isn't it a little late for that?" I ask. "I mean,
we've been together all day and you've sucked and fucked me." He
places his hand on my cheek. Turning my head to face him, he lays a
gentle kiss on my lips. " I won't try to force you to answer, but I'm
curious." He starts tracing my lips with his finger. "Think of this as
pillow talk."
I feel myself melt beneath his touch. "You know I can't refuse my stud
anything." I take a deep breath then begin. " I was born in Buffalo
New York and spent the first 5 and a half years with my mom and
brothers." " Younger or older?" " both of them are about a decade
older than I am." "Any sisters?" "No. Our mom didn't bake any
sisters." Under my hand which was still on his tummy, I felt the
chuckle. " you and your Coltisms." Austin had switched to stroking my
sniffer. " please continue." " well, I don't actually remember much of
that time. Only brief flashes some of which have no continuity. Others
are without a linguistical substructure." "Send again?" " in other
words, some of my memories were encoded as pictures because I did not
have the language skills at the time and I can't articulate them now."
"Ah ok, I'm picking up what you're throwing down. Proceed." "Hold me
Baby Austin?" "Of course."
We shift so we were spooning.
I take Austin through the following years. I tell him about how my mom
died when I was 5 and a half. I tell him about my guardians the
Greens. I told him about how they weren't very good at their appointed
task. I told him about how Cynthia was suspected of stealing my money.
" you were a minor." Austin points out. " you didn't have money." I
cringe and poke him again. " please don't insult me baby Austin. I
hate that word! It is so degrading. Degrading and condescending."
Austin licks my bare shoulder. "Sorry baby. I didn't mean to insult
you. I'm just seeking clarification."
"Fred and Cynthia were entrusted with the task of caring for me once
my mom was unable to do it herself. They were given money by the state
to help in this task but some of that money was misappropriated." "How
so?" " I only lived with these people for about six months. My dad was
granted visitation rights at this time. On the weekends I was
permitted to stay over at his crib." " what does this have to do with
Cynthia?" Austin was clearly confused. " I'm coming to that. " my dad
always preferred to call ahead to ensure that someone was home before
walking me back. That faithful Sunday night there was no answer and
repeated attempts to make contact failed. It was at this point then my
dad decided to keep me."
I stopped talking. "Go on." Austin urges. "I'm still listening." " my
throat is dry." I tell him. I leave the shelter of his arms only long
enough to take a drink from my Margarita. Settling against him again,
I continue my story. " I won't bore you with all the details. Suffice
it to say that my dad won his case. Subsequent to this victory, it was
discovered that Cynthia had been stealing money from me and using it
for drugs." "Bitch!" Austin growled. " The next 4 and a half years
were spent with Kent." " Who was Kent?  Your boyfriend?" Austin
teases. I make a face. "Eew, old balls! No thanks." "Balls are balls."
Austin points out. " not if they belong to your father!" "Oh. Um..." "
exactly." I say. " why do you use his name instead of his title?"
"Kent - my father - is not a bad man, however, he is poisonous to me."
We are quiet for a moment. I'd take advantage of the lull to take
another drink from my margarita. "What happened?" Austin's voice is
quiet. I snuggle deeper into his arms. " we were like the north and
the south during the war over states' rights. He claimed the living
room and I claimed the bedroom. During the 4 and a half years I lived
with him as well as for the next 7 or 8 years I had---"  I hesitated,
searching for the right word or phrase. "Issues. I had issues with my
behavior." "Like a disorder or something?" I peck his cheek. "You're
sweet, but no. I had anger management issues." "Awe honey, we all deal
of anger. It's part of the human condition. That does not mean..." I
lay a finger over his lips. "Shh! Let me finish." Austin drew my
finger across his lips as if he were zipping them closed. I giggled.
"Silly Austin!"

I resumed the story from where I had left it. " have you ever read The
Shining?" " yes. Well actually no, I saw the movie." " well in that
movie there was a hotel. The hotel had an ancient heating system in
the basement consisting of a furnace and a boiler. You had to be super
careful to vent the System on a daily basis or else risk the whole
hotel going gaboom." I paused to make sure Austin understood, then
continued. " I was like that ancient boiler only I didn't have a
convenient release valve. If I did, I didn't know how to use it." "So
you went gaboom?" "Yes essentially. I would often erupt into fits of
rage. I would scream, yell, throw stuff, hit people - the whole kitten
caboodle. Kent tried his best, but he was not good at controlling his
own temper." Austin inhaled sharply. " did he ever hit you?" I was
surprised that Austin was so quick to make that connection. " A couple
of times, but mostly it was verbal abuse. Once he threatened to throw
me out the window. I've always hated school and there were a lot of
mornings with my dad just didn't want to fight with me. Actually, it's
kind of amazing that I was never busted for truancy. One morning, he
was bound and determined I was going to school, come hell or high
water. As usual, I was difficult, so my dad literally drag me out of
bed by the arm. I didn't have a conventional bed at the time. Hights
frightened me so Kent put together a makeshift bed. It was a bunch of
blankets and stuff layered on top of each other. It was only a few
inches off the carpet.
I don't remember much about that morning except that I fell on my side
in the doorway and got a brush burn from him dragging me across the
rug. Afterword, he was sorry, and he told me to get it treated by the
nurse at school. He asked me not to tell them the truth. I was to tell
them I got it from playing around."

"One Christmas I snuck my present from its hiding place before the
date. It was a little Transformer by The name of quick strike. When
Kent discovered what I had done, he broke the beast head off the
Transformer and popped me in the mouth. Austin's arms tightened around
me convulsively. " I would like to kill him!" Austin's voice is low
and full of steel. " no child should be subjected to a monster like
that!" I squeeze his hand. " Kent might have been a monster of sorts,
but I escaped with little physical damage. After the second or third
time he hit me, Kent realized that he didn't have what it took to
raise a disabled child and that's how I ended up in The Kennel." "The
Kennel??" Austin tried to suppress it, but a snicker escaped anyway. I
took another swig of my Margarita. "Yes, The Kennel." I repeated
firmly. "I'll tell you about that in a minute, but first let me tell
you about Sue." "Full speed ahead." " all my life, I've had a kind of
- affinity - for adults." I grimace. " I shouldn't use the word adult.
Adults always have been and always will be my enemy. I hate and
mistrust them for what they put me through. I have an affinity for
grown-ups that persists even to this day."
It was Austin's turn to need a little break. When he returned from
taking a leak, Austin drained his beer and got him self a third. When
we had resumed our previous positions, I preceded to tell him about
Sue.  "I'm not sure how it happened, but Sue and I became friends
after I saw her on the elevator one day. I learned that she was also a
resident of the self same apartment building Kent lived in. Somehow I
learned she owned an old game boy that was still in black-and-white
and it was through this medium that our friendship was forged." Austin
whistled. " I don't think I've ever seen one of those dinosaurs. I've
heard tell of them though." "Sue provided me with not only her
friendship for 16 years, but also a sanctuary from Kent." Austin
whistled in amazement. " 16 years! That's more than half my own
lifetime." "You're only a few years younger than me, but what truly
separates us is a golf of experience. I don't just mean the obvious
fact that you are an international celebrity, but you know things.
You've have had experiences I can only guess at. I've never felt like
that with a grown-up. I suppose it must come from having so much
contact with them while I was growing up and little if any contact
with puppies my own age." "You said Sue provided you with a sanctuary.
How did she do that?" " after our friendship was strong enough, I was
able to spend a few hours at her crib a couple times a week. We baked
cookies, played with my Transformers, read books and generally hung
out. In a nutshell, I think Sue was the mother I lost, the older
sister I never had, The grandmother I never knew - all rolled into
one." " talk about pressure. " what happened to break your friendship
after 16 years?"
I drained The last of my margarita and asked for a third.
After Austin had refilled my drink and we were once again spooning, I
answered his question. " I am actually not entirely sure what
happened. I came out in 2013 and as part of this process I was hooking
up with random guys from CL. At first, I was upfront with them about
my condition but then after one too many rejections based on nothing
but that, I stopped being so forthcoming." "Sue didn't like that."
Austin guessed. " no she didn't. She didn't really like that. I don't
think it was so much that I was hooking up with random guys, although
that was a concern. I think it was more to do with the fact that I
refused then, and still refuse now to use protection." "Ah, that makes
sense." I turn in his arms to face him. "I prefer ignorant as opposed
to knowledge when it comes to MSA. Actually, I don't feel it's any of
my business if the guy I'm hooking up with has anything or not."
I drew in a deep breath. "Sue tried to reason with me, but if there's
one locked room in the entire palace of my heart, my condition is it.
You probably already know from reading my dossier about my condition
and I told you the last time we hooked up. I took a couple of sips.
"My condition was not my only impediment during this time. There were
a few guys - not many - Who took one look at me and they were off like
a shot." My tone became bitter for the first time. "A lot of guys only
have to hear HIV or AIDS and they run screaming for the hills. These
idiots didn't even no I was HIV-positive, but they still fled like a
bunny rabbit flees the hound." Austin squeezes me briefly. "Wow, that
sucks like a chest wound." Any idea why?"
I gave a bitter laugh. From across the room, one of the boys grunted
in his sleep, but I ignored him. "Oh yeah! I know exactly why they
took off like a bat out of hell." I paused for dramatic effect. " they
took one look at me and fled for no other reason then they saw my
chair. They didn't see a gay guy. They didn't see a sexual being. All
they saw was the fucking chair. They saw the fucking chair and it was
an instant turn off!" My voice rose. " do you have any idea how much
that hurts? Do you have any idea how it feels to be judged and
condemned for something you had no control over in the first place? I
was born this way! I didn't have a fucking choice!" I felt the rage
and pain that always underscored discussions of this nature rising to
the surface. "If I had contracted the disease from contaminated
needles or from being fucked by a poz guy, then maybe things would b
different, but I was born with it." I felt the tears coming. "I want
to have value as a person with his own unique eccentricities and
talents, but I also think it might be nice at least once in a while to
b regarded as a gay man who has certain needs equal to those without
disabilities. It might be nice at least sometimes to b desired for
only my physical attributes."
I gave voice to a thought I hadn't shared with anyone else. "That
won't happen. I'm too old and fluffy. Nobody wants me! Not even just
for a quick fuck." I stop to gulp down the rest of my drink. There was
a burning in my throat that had nothing to do with the alcohol. when I
had swallowed the last drop, I resumed. " when you have been treated
as I have been treated, like a goddamn leper, you quickly learn that
beggars can't be choosers. I was already contaminated by being
disabled. I was not going to throw away the chance to have sex just to
claim a moral high ground. I deserve that chance just like every other
guy. Not just a chance to get sucked or get fucked or whatever, but
also to be valued as a person. I withhold that information out of fear
of rejection and I don't give a fuck if you understand that or not!
It's my choice!"
I'm crying openly now. Tears had been falling silently for the last few seconds.
Austin held me to him while I cried. I took comfort from his touch.
After another minute, I quiet down. Austin kisses away my tears. "I'm
right here. I ain't going nowhere!" Sniffling, I say, "sorry Puppy
Cub. It seems as though I always cry when I am with you." Austin
chuckles. " don't worry, you are not the first one to cry on me. I
tend to have that effect on fans." He considers then says, "maybe its
my angelic face, or my magnetic personality." I give a watery chuckle
and tweak his sniffer. "It's probably just your big head." I'm silent
for a moment. "I'm sorry! Did I say your big head? I meant your little
head." Austin growls playfully and ground his crotch against mine.
Austin is already sporting a bone and I quickly feel my own dick
respond. I push against him lightly. "Woe there hornboy! I haven't
finish my story." Austin is still grinding into me and the thought
that our dicks are separated by nothing more than the material of our
genes is very distracting. "You could tell me the rest after you suck
me off." He suggests. "I feel your pain, but you said it. I don't want
to make love here and now. It's too impersonal." My honey bunny growls
again - in disappointment this time - but subsides.


--
"If we die, we will die in battle ... together"  MK2 Lu Kang
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