Date: Sun, 1 Feb 2004 15:40:54 -0800 (PST) From: Author James Subject: The Shadow Chapter 11 My Confession Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. I do not know the sexual orientation of any of the celebrities who will be appearing in the story. WARNING: The character does not have a happy life and will not have very many happy events in his life. If this kind of stuff bothers you, I do not recommend reading. Otherwise, enjoy. The Shadow created by Street and Smith, Walter B. Gibson. Copyright Advance Magazine Publishing Inc. Author's email address: authorjames2002@yahoo.com Chapter 11 My Confession "Excuse me?" the Shadow replied. He could not believe what Nick was offering. 'It's just like Dhani and Amit all over again. But, I was wrong about them. This guy, though, is clearly coming on to me.' "I asked you if you wanted to have a threesome with me and my boyfriend." "Wouldn't it bother him?" "Nah, not really. We role play all the time that some mysterious stranger sneaks into our room and has sex with us. Of course, we take turns being the mysterious masked stranger. There was one masked guy that I had met that I wanted to have a fling with. My boyfriend even bought a mask and cape to look like him. You should've seen the guy's face when he broke in on Derrick and I doing it. At first he thought it was someone trying to take advantage of my fetish. After I cleared things up, he understood and left. But the look on his face was priceless. "With you being here, you fit what we want exactly. Covered face, male, gay, right? You don't have AIDS or HIV, do you?" "No." "That's good. You have to be careful in this day and age with having anonymous sex. We don't want to run the risk of getting an STD, especially one that is incurable and lethal." "Listen, I'm not sure about what you want. For all I know, you could be under some kind of spell. Two singers were here before you and they were under some kind of spell and they were going at it with each other like rabbits. You could be under the same influence." "I doubt it. I've been like this for years. Ever since seeing Val Kilmer in a rubber Batman suit...woohoo! But I digress. I'm sure Derrick would not have a problem if you showed up tomorrow night, say, around midnight, while he and I are just getting started with sex." "I really don't know about this. I don't want to take advantage of you if there is some kind of spell." "I told you, there isn't a spell." "Well, I can't do it anyway." "Why not?" "I just can't. You're obviously not in need of any help." With that, the Shadow left, although what Nick offered distracted him greatly. He kept thinking about having sex with Nick Carter and Nick's boyfriend. 'What they offered wasn't nearly as bad as the crime he committed. These guys are willing, whereas Greg...' the Shadow shook his head and snapped out of it for the moment. 'What happened with Greg ruined any chances of me ever experiencing...' Again the Shadow stopped. 'There's no use dwelling on what has passed. Maybe, with enough penance, enough acts of contrition, maybe, just maybe, I can find the forgiveness I seek.' The Shadow then disappeared into the night. "It's settled," Robert said as he replaced the receiver. "Eric will come up tomorrow if he can find a flight. I left him our number so he can call us with his flight plans." "Are you sure this guy can help?" "I think so. He was there for me when I needed him. He genuinely wants to help others. Plus, he's being trained in psychology." "Oh, great! Another nut to add to this guy!" "Eric will be able to tell what's going on with this guy. He somehow knows what someone is thinking and feeling. He can draw out the truth and help fix whatever is going on." "I hope so," Roy replied. "'Cause this Shadow guy is a grade-A, one hundred percent, whack job!" "That's why Eric is coming. He specializes in whack jobs." "Speaking of," Roy said, his voice changing dramatically. "I could really use..." and his voice trailed off as he took Robert in his arms and kissed him deeply. The Shadow patrolled for a while, fending off a few muggers and would-be rapists, but the entire time his mind was solely on Nick's proposal. The Shadow kept thinking about Nick's thick cock going in and out of his mouth, about Nick's boyfriend plunging deep within his hole and then coming out completely before going back in, and about the climactic conclusion to their rampant escapades. He couldn't take any more of this fantasizing and he headed back to Nick's penthouse apartment running completely on lust. He didn't even consciously think about what he was doing and where he was going. All he could think about was the moments of pleasure he would feel with another man, two men, to be precise. It seemed as if he were in a daze as he entered the hotel, pick-pocketed a master key card from one of the maids, and arrived at 1169. Slipping the card in, he entered to a darkened room. He waited a moment allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness before silently making his way toward the bedroom. Once at the door he listened. Sounds emanated from the room and he recognized them well: the steady sound of a bed rocking back and forth along with the moans of Nick saying, "Yeah, like that! Oh, yeah, right there! That's the spot! Fuck yeah!" The Shadow opened the door and he saw a masked figure mounting Nick, who was on all fours on the bed. The mask was the only article of covering between the two men. Instantly, the Shadow's cock became a precum factory and he felt the front of his shorts dampening. "You decided to come," Nick whispered motioning for the Shadow to come closer. Without saying a word, the Shadow nodded and stepped to the side of the bed. Nick's boyfriend Derrick pulled back to show his enormous, latex-sheathed cock. He spread Nick's ass cheeks wide to reveal the gaping hole he left in Nick. Then he plunged back in and Nick let out a moan. The Shadow stood silent as Nick reached out and grabbed his pants, opening them to reveal a small, semi-hard, precum-covered cock. Nick let out a little chuckle and said, "I thought it might be bigger." Then, he engulfed the entire thing with his mouth. The Shadow was hurt by Nick's comment, but then relaxed and let the man suck on him. His cock hardened fully and he closed his eyes focusing his whole mind on the pleasure. "Let me see," Derrick said as he pulled out and knelt down by the Shadow. Nick pulled off and Derrick's eyes widened. "Even hard, he isn't that big." That comment brought the Shadow out of his revelry and he remembered why he donned the cape in the first place. Without preamble, he placed his cock, which was softening, back into his pants and turned. "What's wrong?" Nick asked rather dejectedly. "Like I said before, I can't do this." "You decide this after you get my mouth around your cock for a minute? What the fuck? What are you going through?" "You cannot begin to imagine what I'm going through. You sit up here with your hot boyfriend having lots of sex and imagining the enormous cocks of men whose faces you've never seen, nor do you care to see. All you care about is meaningless sex with your well-hung boyfriend." For a moment, the Shadow became distracted by the thick cock that was nearly at his hand, as Derrick had stood up when the Shadow put his genitals back in his pants. The Shadow shook his head and returned to his thoughts. Before he could continue, however, Nick spoke. "You can't think this is meaningless. Well, with you, it is. I mean, all either of us care about is that we don't know you and that you are masked. But, between Derrick and me, it is meaningful. That's what boyfriends do. Their sex is meaningful." "Only in your mind." The Shadow turned and headed toward the doorway. "Fuck you!" Nick called back. "That's something that I will never experience." The Shadow sat on the rooftop of the hotel and cried his eyes out. While crying, he looked up at God and pulled the hat, scarf, and goggles off. "Why, God?! Why am I like this?! I don't want to be like this! I don't want the torture of my life! I know I committed sin! I know I violated someone because of these desires! My family and friends despise me for it! I'm not worthy to continue living, yet I live! I didn't ask for these desires! I suppressed them! I was successful and had eternity! Then, it happened, and all changed! The euphoric feelings I felt, the longing I had for you, it all changed suddenly and drastically! Once my crime was committed, I knew! I knew! And no one would punish me for it! No one would allow me to suffer for the pain I caused! Not even you! You sat there, on your throne, and you never moved to smite me! You never moved to let me know I did something wrong! Yet I did something wrong! Your word says you discipline those you love! I could not figure out why I wasn't disciplined! Then it dawned on me! You don't love me! Not after... "So I discipline myself! I punish myself for that moment! Every day and every night I punish the criminal within me! I deny me these feelings, hoping that one day I can be in paradise! I deny these feelings, hoping they will go away so I can live the life you would have me live! But that doesn't happen either! Instead, these horrible feelings build up and I lose control! All I think about is touching another's man's dick! Feeling it in my mouth! His mouth on mine! Allowing the waves of pleasure to wash over me! But something happens to destroy even that! Something happens so I will remember how wrong it is for me!" Tears poured down the Shadow's cheeks as he fell to his knees and looked up at the clouds. The sky opened and rain fell upon him. "I've failed you, God! I can't do this any more! I don't want these desires! They are wrong! In them I've committed sin! And I won't be able to see you...to...talk with you...to see your heaven! Not unless you rid me of these feelings and desires! Please, God, deliver me!" Lightning flashed across the sky and all the Shadow heard was a reply of thunder. To Be Continued...