Date: Sun, 27 Dec 2009 02:11:12 -0700 From: kevin sandford Subject: Two and a Half Men Alan's ex-wife Judith and her husband, Herb, had gotten into a fight, and of course, Judith somehow found a way to put some of the blame on Alan. Charlie Harper didn't give a dame about anybody's problems, and he didn't want to hear them whine about them. But at the same time, he figured he might benefit from the whole nuisance. Charlie had finally managed to piss off every single woman in Malibu, and hadn't gotten any for a couple days. He was use to fucking a different woman every night. To make matters worse, he burned through his paycheck from his last jingle already, so he couldn't even go into the city to see if he could pick up some lower-grade women. Instead he had to stay in and drink. Since he and his brother were well acquainted with Herb, Alan had bugged him into letting him stay at Charlie's place while Judith vented. Charlie didn't actually mind Herb's presence in his house, and they took to drinking scotch and smoking cigars out on the porch together each night, relaxing and talking about 'men stuff'. One night, their conversation had somehow gotten around their endowments. "Herb, what are you, like 6'4?" Charlie slurred, "So is your cock proportional to your frame? How big are you?" "Uhh, that's really not for you to know, Charlie," Herb replied. "C'mon, are you afraid that a little guy like me has a bigger cock? Don't let that get you down, buddy." "Fine, if you are really that obsessed with my cock, I'll show you," Herb said, frustrated. He got out his lounge chair, took off his belt, and dropped his jeans. Charlie was surprised, as he had only been teasing Herb, and his eyes were for some reason drawn to Herb's package. Herb's pale legs were covered with hair, which ran up his lean thighs and beneath the fabric of his tight briefs. The outline of his limp cock was very prominent, which together with his huge balls, formed a very enticing package, even to Charlie, who considered himself straight. Herb grabbed the elastic of his tighty whities and pushed them down to his ankles. He formed a ring around his flaccid 5-inch cock with his thumb and index finger, and slowly stroked it. Charlie was in a trance as Herb's cock grew. As it did so, the long foreskin pulled back, revealing a huge mushroom head on his thin shaft. At full size, Herb was 8.5". His cock was surrounded by a large, bushy mound of hair that spread up, and a dark treasure led up beneath his shirt. His large testicles sagged; their scrotum was covered in the same mass of blonde hair. After a few seconds, Herb quickly pulled up his underwear and pants. "Happy?" Herb said, snapping Charlie out of his daze. "Huh, what? I didn't actually want to see it you know." "Really? Because it looks like you didn't mind." Herb replied, looking down at Charlie's shorts. Charlie's hard dick was obvious in his khaki shorts, which he was going commando in. "I haven't gotten laid in three days," Charlie snapped, " a moth can turn me on at this point. Goodnight," he said as he got up and walked inside. Slightly embarrassed, he went up to bed, hoping to forget about Herb's cock, and why it turned him on so much. Charlie tossed and turned in bed, he couldn't get to sleep. He kept thinking about Herb's long, uncut cock, low hanging balls, and forest of pubes. Still half-drunk, Charlie decided to go downstairs get some fresh air out on the patio. He walked through the dark, in a t-shirt and boxers that were tented by his hard, thick, 7" cock. Herb lay sleeping on the couch, it was a warm night, and he didn't need any blankets. He sprawled out on his back, one leg hanging off the couch. As Charlie walked by the couch, he had a clear view off Herb's erect cock, which was peaking through the elastic of his underwear. Charlie was really horny, and his heart started racing while considering touching Herb's man meat. With adrenaline and alcohol running through his veins, Charlie quietly crept to Herb's side, and knelt down, his face level with Herb's crotch. He carefully lifted the band of the underwear, and waited to see if Herb would wake up. He Grazed his fingers along Herb's veiny shaft, but he continued to snore. Charlie then pulled his cock free and started stroking the already rock-hard cock. A few minutes ago, Charlie had never thought about being with a guy, but now, his face was inches from the sleeping giant's dick. Ticking his tongue out, Charlie licked the underside of the mushroom head, and slowly made his way down the shaft. With his other hand, he cupped Herb's hairy nuts, and massaged them, lightly. Charlie then took the entire head into his mouth, letting his saliva wet the cock, and swirled his tongue around the meat. Herb started breathing heavier, and when Charlie formed a vacuum around the cock, and started slowly bobbing up and down, each time going down a tiny bit further, Herb started moaning in his sleep. "Mmmmmmmm. Ohhhhhh, ohhhhhhh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh." As Charlie continued to work Herb's cock with his mouth, Herb started mumbling, "Oh, Charlie, suck that cock. Fuck, that feels good, get it nice and wet." Charlie looked up. Herb's eyes were half open, and his arms were behind his head. "Hey, why'd you stop," Herb stumbled, still buzzed too. Charlie resumed sucking Herb. After a while, he managed to fit his entire length down his throat, he buried his face in Herb's pubes each time he went down. Charlie removed Herb's shirt, pulling it over his head. Then he started making his way up Herb's body. He followed his treasure trail, licking past his belly button, until he got to his hairy chest. Charlie licked Herb's poker chip-sized nipples, which drove him crazy. He flicked his nipples with his tongue, tweaked them with his fingers, and swirled his tongue around his areoles. "Charlie... can I fuck you?" "I've never been fucked by a guy before." "I've never fucked a guy before." Charlie threw off his shirt and boxers, and straddled Herb's chest. Herb gripped the base of Charlie's cock and stroked his shaft as he started sucking the tip of his 7" cock, extra slowly. Charlie tossed his head back in ecstasy as herb let his tongue explore every inch of Charlie's meat. Herb took his free hand and started squeezing Charlie's ass. His fingers traced down Charlie's hairy crack, Charlie moved up a little, letting his balls rest on Herb's face. He tea-bagged him with his hairy scrotum. Herb took one ball into his mouth at a time, sucking each one like a vacuum. Herb continued licking towards Charlie's hole. He massaged Charlie's hairy taint with his tongue. Finally, Herb parted his cheeks, and started rimming Charlie's ass. He swirled his tongue around his pink hole, which was hairy like the rest of him. His ass tasted clean, and had a soapy and musky scent. Charlie squirmed, " Oh, Herb! Oh yeah, eat my ass. Tongue that hole. You like that hairy ass? Lick it. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm." Herb couldn't hold back anymore. He had an extreme case of blue balls. He hadn't blown a load for over a week, and was ready for release. "You ready?" "I want your load inside of me, Herb." With Herb still on his back, Charlie straddled his hips, and slowly lowered himself onto Herb's throbbing cock. Herb gripped his dick, and rubbed it around the saliva-coated ass. Both men were breathing heavily, hearts racing, bodies glistening with sweat. Charlie lowered his ass, and Herb's huge mushroom head slide into his wet virgin ass, prying the tight hot walls apart. Charlie gasped at the new sensation. His body spasmed as he lost control, he placed his hands on Herb's hairy pecs for support. Herb put his hands on Charlie's waist, and quickly slid the rest of his length into Charlie. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Charlie yelled in pleasure. Herb was feeling euphoric pleasure as he bucked into Charlie, his deep, slippery hole swallowing Herb's huge cock. Herb flipped Charlie onto his back, without pulling out of him. He put his legs over his shoulders. Precum leaked from Herb's cock, lubricating Charlie's hole even more. "Your cock feels so good in me, Herb. Awww, fuck, fuck me harder. Fuck me," Charlie begged. "You want me to fuck you like this, baby?" Herb whispered as he pulled almost entirely out of Charlie, then slamming it in again. He continued pounding Charlie's ass as hard as he could, picking up the pace as his balls slapped Charlie's ass. Charlie was panting hard, his back arched as Herb hit his prostate. Herb leaned in to kiss Charlie. They parted their lips, and let their tongues explore each other's mouths. Their hairy torsos rubbed together, slipping around from the sweat. "Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh! Oh! Ohhhhh! Fuck, cum inside of me," Charlie begged. After a few more minutes, Charlie's ass tensed up, all the muscled tightened. This sent Herb over the edge, his cock was engulfed. His cock pulsed. He bucked uncontrollably. "I'm gonna fucking cum! Take my fucking load, Charlie! Aghhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Waves of cum shot out of his cock, deep in Charlie's ass, coating the walls with his man juice. Simultaneously, Charlie orgasmed, his cock blew hot ropes of jizz, sandwiched between the two bodies. They moaned in unison as they both experienced the longest, most intense orgasms of their lives. Herb pulled out of Charlie, and jizz gushed out of his ass, dripping down his hairy crack. Herb took two fingers and slowly fucked Charlie's loosened hole. Charlie quietly moaned, trying to regain his breath. Herb scooped up some of his load from inside of Charlie, and fed it to him. Herb kissed Charlie, tasting his own cum. Both exhausted, they fell sleep together, naked, sweaty, and covered in each other's jizz.