Date: Tue, 9 Aug 2011 07:25:49 -0500 From: Paul Tolbert Subject: Sexy Little Things: Chapter 5 SEXY LITTLE THINGS Chapter 5: Clone Wars Pairing: Dave Batista/Rey Mysterio WWE Slash Fiction "I HATE that guy. Fucking asshole. Who the hell does he think he is huh?" "David..." "No Rey! It's not going to work, not this time." "Don't you think you're overreacting JUST a little bit? I don't understand exactly what the big deal is anyway." "You don't understand? Seriously Rey? You don't understand?" "Look, I get that you're upset, but I'm telling you it's no big deal. Not even in the slightest. I just think you being a bit...jealous." "JEALOUS? JEALOUS? You know full well what that guy represents! He's a threat!" "I understand where you're coming from, but I gotta tell you Papi, you are indeed overreacting. Mason Ryan is not a bad guy! You should be flattered that people are calling him the next incarnation of The Animal Batista, Batista v2.0, Batista two, Batista's baby bro, Batista--" "Stop it Rey." "OK OK. He's a pretty sweet guy and--" "Oh so you think he's sweet now?!?" "Dave, give it up." "NO!" "Ugh. Well can you please stop pacing around? You're making me dizzy." "This guy thinks he can just walk right in and take what's mine? He thinks it's OK to just slip himself into MY territory and steal what matters most to me in this entire world? And why the fuck do people say he looks like me huh? He looks NOTHING like me." "Dave, first of all, your paranoid and acting like a pre-pubescent boy who just lost his World of Warcraft account to some lame hacker. And second, you're joking right? Mason is like the little brother you never had, a Welsh carbon copy of yourself LOL." "THAT'S NOT FUNNY REY! Ugh, you just don't get it. I don't like him, at all." "Why? Cause you feel threatened by him? You think he's going to eclipse your entire career by being a bigger and better version of yourself? The WWE could never replace you Dave." "No, but you could..." "What? What do you mean?" "I saw him talking to you last week Rey. He...he was flirting with you, wasn't he? That's why I'm pissed Rey. Cause he was hitting on you, or so it looked like it." "Oh. I thought you were upset that people were comparing him to you." "What? Oh god no. I don't care about that shit. I care about you. Besides, if he does look like me, as said by you, acts like me, hell even dresses like me, then..." "Then what Dave?" "Then you'll replace me with my younger, hotter clone." "I don't want him Dave, or anyone else for that matter. You should know that you're the only person I want to be with." "But he looks exactly like me, or so I'm told by random, basic bitch haters like Cena." "Well...he is like your `mini me' in a sense. The resemblance is VERY canny." "Nope. I don't see it. Not at all." "Yeah right!" "HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME! Besides, he reminds me of Goldberg. Yep, that's who he looks like, Bill Goldberg." "OK. Um Dave one thing, remind me, when you first started in the WWE, what was it that the fans chanted during your matches again?" "Rey, don't." "Answer me Dave." "Stop it." "I can't quite put my finger on it... What was it again?" "ENOUGH!" "Nope, that wasn't the word they used. Say it Dave. What did they chant?" "Rey..." "Say it." "Goldberg, they chanted...Goldberg."