Date: Tue, 09 Jan 2007 18:14:55 -0600
From: David J <boricuaholandes@hotmail.com>
Subject: All Good Things -- Chapter 7

Hello all!  I would like to take a moment to present Chapter 7 to you guys.
I want to thank everyone who has written and joined the yahoo group
(ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/futurecanadiansgroup).  Your words and comments
have meant a LOT to me.

I also want to let you guys know that it may be a bit before the next
chapter posts.  School started back up for me this week, and I don't forsee
having much time to work on the chapter that I'm working on (which will be
Chapter 11).  I like to stay a few chapters ahead of myself so that I don't
get bogged down and frustrated with trying to write the next chapter to be
posted.  (It makes me feel as though I'm on a deadline, and I hate the
feeling.  It happened with my last story, so I'm steering clear of letting
that happen again.) I promise, though, that the next update will be
available at some point next week, as soon as I finish the chapter that I'm
working on.

As always, the disclaimer applies here as it has with other chapters, and
you may feel free to email me with any comments or questions.  The email is
boricuaholandes@hotmail.com.  Join the yahoo group, too, if you can.  I've
gotten into the habit of posting the stories there, along with here on
nifty.

Thanks again for all of you who have been enjoying my story.

David ;)

=====

All Good Things
Chapter 7 – The Alpha and the Omega

	A week after Joey left came my birthday.  He'd told me to plan on an
amazing time, but after two exams on that one day, I didn't know if I had
the energy for an "amazing" birthday.  I got home after the exams and work
in the language lab.  As I walked home, I realized what a beautiful day it
had been.  The sun was shining; the birds chirping; the temperature was
still a bit chilly by Alabama standards, but there were still a few brave
souls who ventured out of the house in shorts and polo-style shirts.  As I
walked up to the apartment, I wondered what all he'd done.  It's Tony's
style to go over the top when he says that something will be "amazing."  I
climbed the stairs to the third story apartment that we shared and slid my
key into the door.  I should have known something was up when I saw a single
rose petal outside the door on the patio.  The one petal hadn't prepared me
for the sight inside, though.  There were so many rose petals strewn into a
trail that I had to push some out of the way as I walked into the door.  The
trail first led to the sofa, where he'd placed a card with my name written
on the outside.  I opened it up and chuckled as I read where he'd written
out the words to "Endless Love," a song that we both agreed was more sweet
than romantic.  He even took the time to color code: purple for the man's
part and red for the lady's part.

	A second trail led to the bedroom, where upon entering, I found a large box
wrapped in shiny blue paper.  There was a white bow wrapped around it and a
card fitted into the ribbon.  The second card instructed me to open the
gift, whether he was there or not, and enjoy.  I carefully removed the bow
and set it to the side of me on the bed.  As I was opening the paper,
though, there was a phone call.  I walked into the living room as the phone
sounded a second time.  The caller ID had my mother's mobile phone number
plastered across it.  "Hello?" I said answering the phone to a plethora of
background noise.

	"Can you hear me?" she said loudly and clearly.

	"Yes ma'am.  I can hear you.  Where are you at?"

	"Give me a second and let me find a quiet place."

	"Alright," I said as I walked back into the bedroom to finish opening the
present.  I sat on the edge of the bed and slowly began pulling the paper
back.  The background noise finally stopped and I heard a certain strain in
my mother's voice.  "Everything OK?"

	She exhaled deeply.  "Not really..."

	"OK?"

	"Jacob.  I need to tell you something and I wish I could do it to your
face, but I can't."

	"You're starting to scare me, Mom.  What's going on?"

	"It's your father."

	"What about Dad?"

	"He started getting sick last week, and we both thought it was nothing, so
he didn't bother going to the doctor.  Well this morning, he woke up and his
chest was hurting, so I made him go to Dr. Johnson."

	"Uh huh..."

	"Well, Dr. Johnson ran some tests and wouldn't tell us the results.  He
simply told us to go see another doctor, an oncologist, and that he would do
some tests and then make a definitive decision about what was going wrong."
I could tell from the tone of her voice that she had started to cry.

	"OK."  The silence between us was so thick that I thought we might have
been disconnected.  I checked the phone, but it still showed the call was
active.

	"Well...after he ran the tests, he came back in and told your father that
he had a growth on his lung and that he wanted to do a biopsy.  Well, I was
scared, your father was scared, and so the doctor sets up an appointment
with someone to do the biopsy immediately."

	"And?"

	"Jacob.  I'm so sorry to have to tell you this over the phone."

	"It's fine, Mom."  I myself started to cry, but tried to hide it from my
mother, who obviously needed one of us to be strong at that moment.  "What
did they say about the biopsy?"

	"We never made it to that appointment.  Your father passed out on the way
to the lab, so I drove him straight to the emergency ward.  He's conscious,
but they're running some tests on him now."

	I was crying as Tony came in.  He looked so handsome, dressed in a suit and
tie.  The smile on his face turned to a frown instantly when he realized
that something was terribly wrong.  The silence between me and my mother was
again `as thick as thieves,' as they'd also say in the South.  "Is Tony
there?"

	"Yeah.  He just got home."

	"Tell him that I said hi."

	"Mom said hi," I said to Tony.

	"Is everything OK?" he asked as he sat beside me.  I held the phone to my
other ear for a moment, and fell onto his chest after he sat down next to me
and draped his arm over my body, which was already going so limp from the
uncertainty of what was going on.

	"I'll explain later," I answered quietly.

	"Tell him that I love him, please," Mom said.

	"She said that she loves you," I relayed to Tony.

	"I love her, too."  She heard his message and said thank you.  In just a
moment, I heard an operator paging her over the intercom system of the
hospital.

	"I'll call you all back in just a few minutes," she said.

	"OK.  I love you, Mom."

	"I love you too, sweetie.  Bye."

	"Bye."

	I hung up the phone and began bawling hysterically.  Tony began to lightly
rock me, but continued to hold me so tightly that I could physically feel
the love that he had for me moving between our bodies like free energy.  For
ten minutes we sat there, with him holding me, until a sense of rage began
to envelop me.  Breathing became a difficulty for me.  I hadn't felt like
this since I found out about what happened between me and Adán.  Tony held
onto me tightly.  "I feel like I'm going to throw up," I said as I pulled
myself away from him and ran into the bathroom.  I sat in the bathroom,
kneeling over the toilet seat for several minutes until finally a gush flew
from my mouth.  I began sweating uncontrollably, and like a trooper, Tony
grabbed a washcloth from beneath the sink and wet it quickly.  He wiped my
forehead off with it before setting it there to help cool me off.  I felt
myself about to throw up again, and turned to the porcelain bowl.  I threw
up so much that I felt like I was going to pass out.  Tony sat on the edge
of the bathtub and rubbed my head as best he could.  "Tony.  You're going to
mess up your suit."

	"Fuck the suit.  It can be cleaned or replaced.  You can't."  I fell to my
ass on the floor of the bathroom, still sweating and now totally exhausted.
"You feeling better?"

	"Not really, but at least I can breathe again."

	"What happened?"  Whereas I'd not been crying before, I bawl like a baby.
"It's OK.  Take your time, my love."

	"It's my Dad."

	"What about your Dad?"

	"Mom had to take him to the doctor this morning because of chest pains."

	"Did he have a heart attack?"  I shook my head.

	"His regular doctor sent him to an oncologist who sent him for a biopsy.
Before they got there, he passed out and Mom took him to the hospital."

	"Oh, goodness.  Is he gonna be OK?"

	"I don't know."

	We sat there in the bathroom for some time.  I was totally unaware of the
time when he finally came out.  The phone began to ring a few minutes after
that, which I quickly answered.  "Hello?"

	"Hello Jacob," my mother said sniffling into the phone.  "Uh.  I really
don't know how to tell you this, but it's not looking good for your father."
   I began to shake.  Tony noticed and took the phone from me.

	"Mrs. Henry?" Tony said into the phone.  "No ma'am.  It's Tony...yes
ma'am...yes ma'am.  I will do that right away....Yes ma'am....Alright.  Will
you ask Danny to meet us up there?...Yeah.  We'll see you shortly
then....Bye....Ma'am?...I love you too, Mrs. Henry...alright, Susan."  He
hung up the phone and then looked at it for a few minutes.  There seemed to
be the glistening of tears in his eyes as well.  "Your mom wants us to go up
there.  Your dad has taken a turn for the worse."

	"Oh, God!" I said, unable to control my emotions.  "Oh fucking God!"

	"It'll be OK, Jake.  I'm here," he said, standing as I stood and grasping
hold of me for dear life.  He wasn't about to let me go, something for which
I was very thankful.

	"I'm not very good with emotions, Tony, so while I still have a moment of
lucidity, I want to apologize in advance for anything that I might say or do
that might hurt you."

	He put his index finger over my mouth, "Shh...It's OK.  I'm here with you,
for you."  I gave up to his grip and dropped my head onto his chest, which
was covered by a brand new suit.  It still reeked of newness.  "We need to
get some airline tickets."

	"Call CanadAir.  Tell them the situation and tell them that we need to fly
from Atlanta."

	"Yes sir."

	"Promise me that you love me, Tony."

	"More than life itself."  I wrapped my arms around his waist; he rested his
chin on the crown of my head.  "...more than life itself."  For a few
minutes, I felt safe wrapped in his arms.

	"OK.  We've got to get to Toronto," I said, pulling away from Tony and
wiping my eyes.  "Call CanadAir.  1-888-CanadAir is the number," I
instructed.

	"Right."

	"I've got to call Leah and get some clothes together for us," I was still
shaking.

	"Jake?" he said as I walked toward our bedroom.

	"Yeah."

	"I know this probably isn't a good time to say this, but Happy Birthday."

	"Thank you, Tony."  As he lifted his phone to his head, I turned and walked
into the bedroom.  The blue, partially opened package was still there,
waiting to be opened.  I looked at it for a second, deciding to wait a bit
before opening it.  I snapped back into the surrealism of the moment and
packed a quick bag for each of us.  I went to the closet and saw my black
suit hanging there.  I began to cry as I remember the last time that I'd
worn it.  It was over a year ago at my brother's high school graduation.
Everyone was so proud of him that evening, especially my father, who joked
about him moving out of the house and into an apartment.  My Dad was so
proud of him, though, as were all of us.  When the ceremony ended, all of
the graduates came off the stage to find family members.  My Dad was the
first one to spot Danny as he came off the stage, leaving us to hug his
youngest child.  I don't think he smiled as much at my graduation.

	I sat there, holding the sleeve in my hand, and all I could think about was
my Dad.  Would he be OK?  Would my Mom be OK with him?  What was going
through Danny's mind?  Was Jean-Marc being as good to Jane right now as Tony
was being to me?

	"Babe?"

	"Yeah?" I said, not taking my eyes off of the black fabric.

	"We got onto a flight at 8:15 from Atlanta."

	"That's good."

	"You OK?"

	"Yeah.  I'm fine," I said, finally turning to him.  His blue eyes shined at
me.  There was love behind them.  There was amazing love behind them.

	"I'm sorry all of this is happening on your birthday, babe.  I'd planned on
us going out to dinner and then coming home to make you the happiest man
alive."

	"Tony," I said, able to, for a split second smile because of his niceness,
"you already have."

	We finished packing bags and quickly left Auburn headed for Atlanta.  We
parked the truck and found the terminal and gate from which we'd be
departing.  We passed security and shortly were on the plane.  An hour into
the flight, the magnitude of the situation fell onto me.  I sat next to the
window, with Tony to my right.  As I looked onto the night sky, Tony took my
hand and rubbed up and down it.  Though in that moment, I didn't feel much
comfort, I look back on it and think of how fortunate I was to have him with
me.  I might have gone crazy had it not been for him.  In a little over two
hours, we were in Toronto.  The last time I came, all of the Canadians
seemed to be happy to be home.  That time was far more joyous than this one,
by far.

	We got off the plane and walked through the terminal at Pearson.  I pulled
out my cell phone and called my brother's phone.  There was no answer.  We
waited for a few minutes before Tony suggested that we get a cab.  The
cabbie drove us to my parents' house, where we intended to drop off the bags
and head to the hospital.  As we pulled up the drive, there wasn't a single
light.  I began to cry again as I looked at the lifeless house.  Tony told
me to wait there while he went and set the suitcases inside the front door.
He ran back down the stairs to the cab, which then took us to the hospital,
which was a ten minute drive away.  As we pulled up to the sterile building,
my heart began to drop.  The car pulled through the driveway and deposited
us just outside the front door.  There were people standing all around the
entrance.  I had to stand there for a moment before I could go inside.

	Tony took my hand as we walked into the hospital.  We walked up to the
patient information desk, "Excuse me," Tony said.  "We're looking for Daniel
Henry's room, please."

	"Are you family?" the lady asked.

	"Yes ma'am," I answered.

	"He's on the 12th floor, room 1294."

	"Thank you," Tony said, walking with me to the elevator.

	We stopped at each floor, including Labor and Delivery.  The door opened as
a new father was showing off his new baby boy.  The man was around Tony's
and my age, and the woman who'd obviously given birth was aglow with
motherhood.  The doors shut, though, before I could see more.  We continued
up to the 12th floor, which was the exact opposite from the last one I
remember.  It was cold and inhospitable.

	"Can I help you?" the unit secretary asked, looking up at the two of us.

	"Yes ma'am.  Can you direct us to Daniel Henry's room?"

	"Are you family?"

	"I'm his son," I answered, "and this is my partner."

	"Go to the right, second room on the right," she answered, unconcerned
about why we were there.

	There was no one in the room when I walked in.  The sight I saw was
unbelievable.  My dad had become slightly portly in his age, but he was
still the man that I remembered could lift me up above his head and throw me
toward the sun.  He was the man who taught me how to swim.  He was the man
who told me about the birds and bees, even though they don't exactly apply
to me.  He was the man who broke up fights between the three of us.  He
punished us when we made mistakes, but he was always there for us when we
needed him.  He was excited about Jane's and Jean-Marc`s pending nuptuals.
He was excited about Danny being in school.  He was excited about me being
in grad school, and he was more than happy that I wasn't alone in a strange
place in a different country.

	I couldn't stop crying.  As much as I stood there, wiping my face, I
couldn't stop crying.  Tony placed his hand on my shoulder as I heard him
sniffle a little bit.  I reached my hand up and placed it on his.  I rested
my head atop our combined hands.  The room was so sterile.  The walls were
white, the machines were cream colored.  The window shade was pulled down.
My dad lay on the bed, motionless, as if he'd been placed in that position
when all the cords and tubes that ran from his head to various machines.

	"Excuse me.  Are you family?" a lady asked behind us.  We both turned.

	"Yes ma'am.  I'm his son.  This is my partner, Tony."

	"Ah.  I see.  The rest of the family went to get some food for a few
minutes.  They asked me to tell you if you got here before they got back."

	"Which would explain why I couldn't get Danny on the phone," I said to
Tony.

	"Ma'am.  Can we ask what's wrong?" Tony asked.

	"Mr. Henry is suffering from complications related to very advanced lung
cancer."  I broke down crying.  I'd heard the words that I was hoping that I
wouldn't.  I'd heard from someone totally objective to the situation that he
was dying.  "I'm sorry for having to tell you the news myself."

	"It's not your fault ma'am.  He said something about chest pains at
Christmas, and he thought it was heartburn," I said through crying.  "Why
didn't I make him go to the doctor?!"

	"Can I call someone for you, sir?"

	"No thank you.  Is it OK if I sit here for a few minutes with him?"

	"Sure," she smiled warmly, far warmer than the last hospital worker that
we'd encountered.  She left the room and shut the door for us.  I turned
again to my father, watching him rest there.

	"Why didn't you go to the doctor, Dad?  You're always looking out for
everyone else, but never for yourself."  I pulled a chair to the edge of the
bed and rubbed his hand.  Tony stood there for a second.  He was a
comforting effect on me.

	"I'm gonna run get us some coffee.  I have a feeling it will be a long
night."  I reached into my pocket and pulled out my credit card.  My hand
shook as I handed it to him.  "I've got it covered."

	"Tony.  Don't argue with me.  Just take the card."  He reached out and took
the card out of my hand.

	"I'll be back in a minute, love."

	"Alright, babe."  He walked toward the door.  "Tony?"

	"Yeah," he said, turning back around.

	"I'm sorry for being short a moment ago.  I have a feeling that I'm going
to be depending on you a lot for emotional and physical support for a while.
  If I ever get to the point that you can't handle me and you need time
alone, please let me know."

	"I will, but Jake, I love you so much," he came back into the room and
walked to me.  "but I don't see you being a burden on me at all."

	"Promise me, please," I pleaded.

	"I promise," he answered, reaching down and kissing me on my forehead.  He
turned again and walked out the room.  All of my attention focused on my
father.

	"Dad.  There is so much that I want to say to you," I started.  "There are
so many things that I know wish I'd said to you earlier.  I want to say
thank you for being the greatest dad in the world.  You have
always...always...been there for me, even when you knew I was making
mistakes.  Adán would be the perfect example of such a time," I chuckled,
knowing that my father would be laughing as I said that.  "I love you, Dad.
You have always been an inspiration for me, and I wish I had a million more
years with you.  If I'd known this was going to happen, I would have called
you every day, even if it were just to tell you that I love you so much."  I
rubbed his hand, which was clammy and cold.  I pulled it up to my mouth,
though, and I kissed it.  Something didn't feel right.  A cold chill ran
over my body.  His hand turned so cold, at least I was feeling cold.

	The beeping became lighter, but finally turned into a single tone.  I
reached his hand up to my lips once more and kissed it.  The nurses ran in,
and the one who had been so nice before politely guided me from the room.  I
looked at my father, crying.  He was gone.  Tony was coming back onto the
floor as I walked out of the room.  The nurse had told me that she would
stay there until Tony got back.  I was crying so hard that I developed a
headache rather quickly.  When our eyes met, he stopped where he was.  A
tear came from his right eye.  He set the cups of coffee on a table in the
hallway and walked over to me.  He wrapped me up in his arms and held me as
I cried into his shirt.

	"Shhh," he said.

	"At least I got to say goodbye," I said as he held my head into his chest.
I began to feel short of breath, and so he moved me to a chair.  He walked
over and got the coffee from the table and sat next to me.  The nurses and
doctors came out of the room.

	"Mr. Henry?" one of the ladies asked.

	"Yes?" I responded, still crying.

	"I wanted to apologize for your loss," she said.  She was still talking,
but I couldn't hear her.  Maybe it was my way of dealing with the situation.
Maybe it was because I was screaming inside my head.  I slipped from the
chair into the floor and balled up into what I assumed was the fetal
position.

	The next thing I remember was Tony's arm wrapped around me.  I was still on
the floor, and he had leaned over me.  "Babe.  Do you want to go home?"  The
door to my father's room opened, and two orderlies wheeled the bed my father
had been sleeping on out of room.  His body was covered in a white sheet.  I
found the strength to stand and watch them walk away from the main part of
the floor, toward a service elevator.  I walked a few feet behind them,
until the elevator doors closed.

	"Jake?" Danny said behind me.  I turned around and looked at my brother,
who was with my mother, sister, and future brother in law.  I cried so hard
that I the product could have put Toronto Hydro out of business.  "NO?" he
said in disbelief.  He began to cry.  "Jake.  Tell me no."  He cried harder.

	 "Tony?"

	"I'm sorry, Danny," Tony said.  Danny continued to cry, but he got angry.
His muscles began to tense.

	"NO!" he screamed, garnering the attention of the nurses.

	"Danny," Mom started, "Danny!  Pay attention to me!"  She had also started
to cry.  Jean-Marc was holding onto to Jane, fighting back tears.

	"NO!" he said through tears.  "This can't be fucking happening.  I need a
drink."

	"DANIEL!" Mom said.  Danny turned around and walked toward the staircase
that was next to the nurses' station opposite the elevators.  Tony ran after
him; I ran to Mom.  She put her head on my shoulder and cried.  "Were you
with him?"

	"Uh huh," I answered.  There was so much negative emotion between us.  The
four of us that remained on the floor cried with each other.

	Tony returned a few minutes later, with his arm wrapped around Danny's
shoulder.  "Guys," Danny started, "I love you!"

	"We love you too, Danny!" Mom said as she motioned for him to come and join
us in a hug.  Jane pulled herself away from Jean-Marc and came over to join
us.  From that point, it was the four of us.  Our patriarch was gone, but we
still had each other, and over the coming weeks and months, we knew that we
would need each other more than we ever thought was possible.

	After Mom thanked all the nurses for their assistance, we left the
hospital.  Mom had her arm around Danny, while my sister and I walked
together.  Tony and Jean-Marc walked closely behind.  They were resolve in
the position they'd acquired in my father's death: our rocks.  Tony drove
Danny's Jeep home, with Danny in the front and me in the back seat.
Jean-Marc drove Mom's car home, with her and Jane.  The house seemed
different.  Once inside, Mom took off her coat and walked upstairs to their
bedroom.  She came out a few minutes later and announced that she was going
to bed.  The five of us were in the living room, trying to make heads or
tails of the emotional roller coaster that was going through our minds.

	Mom came down after about an hour, wearing one of Dad's button down shirts.
  "Jacob?" she said as she entered the room.

	"Ma'am?"

	"I am so sorry..."

	"For?"

	"Forgetting..."

	"It's no problem, Mom," I interrupted her.  "I completely understand.
Given what all has gone on, I'd forgotten myself."

	She came over and kissed me on the forehead.  "I love you, my baby.  You
look like him, so much like him.  You have his eyes.  And Jane, you have his
nose.  And Danny...you have his personality and his love for life.  I never
really realized it until now."

	"Would you like some coffee, Susan?" Tony asked.

	"That would be wonderful..."

	"Jean-Marc.  Come and help me," Tony instructed.  My future brother-in-law
picked up on the fact that this wasn't a request, but an order.

	"Sure.  I'm right behind you," he said as he and Tony walked toward the
kitchen.  Mom sat on the coffee table, equally between the three of us.  She
reached over and took Jane's hand.  She looked at Jane, who was whimpering
softly.

	"He was so happy for you, Jane.  He was excited about walking his baby girl
down the aisle.  He was worried that he'd miss a step or something and fall
before he got you to your beloved.  He was looking forward to playing with
the lovely children that you and Jean-Marc are going to have.  He knew you
were pregnant, by the way.  He mentioned a couple of weeks ago when you were
by that you had a glow, the same glow that I had when I was pregnant with
you."  She squeezed her hand, and Jane reached over and gave her a hug.

	"Jake," she said turning to me, "you think he was upset because you didn't
go into the Foreign Service.  Don't you?"

	"Yes ma'am."

	"Well don't!  He was proud of you.  He was so very proud of you for all of
the things that you've accomplished.  He respected you even more when you
started graduate school and told him that he was NOT paying for it, that you
were taking full financial responsibility for yourself.  Before he started
having the pains this morning, he was excited about calling you to wish you
a Happy Birthday."

	"Oh shit, Jake!  I totally forgot!" Danny said.

	"It's OK, Danny."  He put his hands across my shoulder and pulled me into
him.

	"And Daniel.  Danny.  He loved your trips together.  He loved your zest for
life.  He loved how you wanted quality and not quantity out of life.  He
loved how you laughed at cartoons, still.  Two mornings ago, he bought the
package for the two of you to go to Florida this summer."

	"He did?"

	"Yeah."

	"I thought he said we might not be able to go this summer?"

	"He did.  But he felt guilty, because it was something that you enjoyed
doing, and he enjoyed seeing you happy.  He was planning to go tomorrow and
get you a new fishing rod and reel for your birthday."

	"Mom?" Jane asked.

	"Yes my precious daughter..."

	"I love you.  We love you," she said, looking for agreement in her
brothers' eyes.

	"Yeah.  We do love you.  Tony made a comment on the way back to Auburn
after Christmas."

	"What did he say?" Mom asked.

	"He said that he could see that the two of you were still madly in love
with each other and that he could you two as the old couple walking down the
street holding hands."

	"I'll be right back, Mom," Danny said, running up the stairs.

	"Mom?" Jane asked.  "Do you want Jean-Marc and me to stay here for a few
days?"

	"Yes.  I want all my babies here for a few days," she said, looking between
the two of us.

	"I'm not going anywhere for a few days," I said.

	"Good," Mom said as Danny returned to the living room.

	"Mom.  Dad asked me to hide this a couple of weeks ago.  I'm not sure if he
was planning it for your birthday or anniversary, though," he said as he
handed her a box.  She opened it up to find a small ring box.

	"Oh my God!" she said as she admired the platinum ring with large diamonds
on top.  "It's so beautiful," she said as she looked it.  A tear came down
from her right eye.  "I wish...I wish that he was giving it to me himself,
though."  The three of us stood and hugged her.  "I have such amazing
children," she said.

	"Alright, guys.  Coffee!" Tony said as he came into the room, carrying a
tray with a coffee pot, cream, and sugar.  Jean-Marc carried another tray
with six cups.

	"So in the morning," Mom started, "we've got to take care of a lot of
stuff.  Tony and Jean-Marc, I'm gonna need the two of you to go with me when
I go to make the arrangements for the funeral."

	"I have no problem with that, Susan," Tony chimed.  "Jake, do you see a
problem with it?"

	"No.  I don't."

	"Nor do I," Jean-Marc answered, looking at my sister.

	"Good.  I'm asking the two of you, because it's more likely that you two
will help me keep my composure."

	"Alright," the two of them said.

	She was an amazing woman in that time.  She was being strong for us,
though, and it seemed to be a consensus that she was secretly tearing up
inside.  She finished her cup of coffee and then excused herself again.  She
slowly climbed the stairs and then quietly closed the door to the room that
she and Dad had shared since we moved back from Cuba.  Jane and Jean-Marc
were the next to depart for the evening, with her hands around his waist and
his hands around her shoulders.

	The three of us sat there for a few minutes in silence.  Danny sighed a
couple of times, but I don't think the boy could have cried if he'd wanted
to.  "He's probably up there somewhere getting a really good laugh at us."

	"Yeah.  He's probably saying `They need a beer.'," I joked.

	"He's making that weird Carlos Mencia sound, pointing at all of us and
laughing."

	"Jake?"

	"Yeah, Danny."

	"I miss him so much."

	"I know.  I wish I'd called him more."

	"He talked about you all the time, dude.  He talked about all of us going
to Florida or something in April during your Spring Break."

	"I would have liked that a lot, Danny.  The lot of you can still come down
or something."

	"I know.  I'll suggest it to Mom.  I wish that we were seeing each other
under better circumstances," Danny said.

	"Yeah.  Not the way I wanted to spend my birthday, I assure you.  I love
you, Dann-o."

	"Right back at ya, queerbait."

	"You haven't called me that in a long time, Danny."

	"Yeah.  The last time I did, even though it was just a joke, Dad beat the
shit out of me."

	"And then this fool," I started telling Tony, "got up, looked at my father,
with a puffy face from crying and said `That didn't hurt,' and walked out of
the room."

	"I can still hear him laughing about that," Danny said.

	"Yeah..." I said.

	"God.  I'm tired, guys.  I'm gonna head upstairs and get some sleep," Danny
announced, standing up.  Tony and I stood up.  Danny wrapped his arms around
me.  "I'm glad you're here."

	"Me too."  He turned and walked upstairs toward his room.

	"My God!" I quietly exclaimed, turning to look at Tony.  "I don't think the
reality has hit me yet, Tony."

	"When it does, I'll be there to help you pick everything back up and get
everything settled.  Sound good to you?"

	"Yeah.  It does."  I smiled at him for a moment, which made him smile as
well.  He wrapped me up into a cocoon-like hug.  "I love you, Tony."

	"I love you, too."

	We went upstairs for a night's rest that neither of us was expecting to be
calm or peaceful.  We quickly stripped off our clothes and climbed into bed.
  I lay my head onto my pillow and tried to relax.  Tony climbed in a moment
later and lay next to me.

	"So..." I started.

	"Yes?"

	"What was in the box?"

	"What box?"

	"At home."

	"Two books."

	"Two?"

	"Yeah.  One is a coupon book."

	"A coupon book?"

	"Yeah.  I made you a coupon book of things for me to do for you.  One of
them is a coupon for a free back massage.  One of them is a chore-free day.
Stuff like that."

	"You are such a sweetheart."

	"I know," he joked.  "The other one was one that my grandmother found that
she thought you might like.  It's called Historia de la buena isla.  She
says it's a history book that she used when she was in school.  It's a
really, really old book."

	"That is wonderful, babe.  I can't wait to read it."

	"I'm hope you'll like it."

	"I will."  I stopped for a second, remembering how and why we'd come to
Toronto.  "Tomorrow, when you're finished with Mom, I'd like for us to go to
the mall.  I need to get a suit and a shirt.  I also didn't pack one for
you, so we'll pick you one up, as well."

	"You don't have to do that."

	"I know.  I should have packed our suits, but I didn't think about it in
that moment.  I was hoping that he'd be coming home in a couple of days and
that we wouldn't need them.  I'm so sorry Tony."

	"Shush!  This is what boyfriends are supposed to do for each other."

	"Guys?" Danny said, opening the door.

	"Yeah, bro.  What's up?"

	"You guys are gonna think that I'm silly, but I can't sleep."

	"Come on, Danny boy."  I snuggled up to Tony and lifted the opposite corner
of the comforter.  Danny snuggled into me on the king size bed.

	"Thank you, guys."  Tony turned onto his left side, and I wrapped my right
arm across him.  "Guys?"

	"Yeesss?" I asked.

	"I'm sorry for intruding."

	"You're not intruding," Tony said.

	"Promise?"

	"Promise!" we both said in unison.

	It reminded me of when we were younger.  Danny was probably 8 or 9, and I
was 14 or 15.  When we were in Cuba, Danny had a plethora of friends with
whom he would go to the beach or play in the streets.  He loved it there,
because it was the only home he'd known.  But then my father's appointment
in Cuba ended, and he was transferred to an office in Toronto.  Danny was
distraught.  During the days before we were to depart from the island, Danny
tried to run away, hoping that we'd forget about him.  He didn't calculate
that his friend's parents were on Mom and Dad's side in the whole matter.
When we got back to Canada, the three of us were registered in school.  I
easily made friends, being a semi-exotic boy among the plain and ordinary
run-of-the-mill Canadians.  Danny, on the other hand, dreamt in Spanish.  It
was, for all practical purposes, his native language.  He longed to be back
in Cuba, where he felt at home.  To get back at my parents for forcing him
to leave, he refused to speak English.  At home, it was Spanish.  At school,
he spoke Spanish.  In church, he spoke Spanish.  It got to the point where
he wouldn't even pay attention to my parents until they gave him directions
in Spanish.  It was during that time that he and I really got close.  I
spoke to him in Spanish, regardless of my parents' prohibition.  At night,
he would come up from his room (which is now `mine') to my room (which is
now `his') and stand in the doorway until I invited him to get in bed with
me.  He would snuggle up against me and fall asleep quickly.  When my
parents realized this, they began to worry about him.  He and Mom would do
something together on Saturday mornings, just the two of them.  He and Dad
would take a short trip somewhere once a month.  Danny again regained his
childhood.  Dad started working a lot more, and so their monthly short trips
became weeklong affairs twice a year.  In the summer, they went to Florida
for deep sea fishing.  In the winter, they would take a week and follow the
Leafs around the country to watch their games.

	The only thing about Danny is, though, he sprawls around the bed.  Danny
punched me the next morning, which, of course, woke me up.  It didn't hurt,
but it woke me up.  The good thing was, I was a human shield for Tony who
woke shortly after I did.  At around 7, we left the bed and headed
downstairs after putting on some shorts.  Mom was already up, fixing some
breakfast for everyone else.  She looked horrible, as though she hadn't
slept at all.  Given the circumstances, I understood completely.

	"What are you two doing up?" she asked as we walked into the kitchen.

	"Danny slept in the bed with us last night."

	"That explains it all," she said, smiling.

	"Did you sleep?"

	"For maybe two hours, but I've been up since around 4."

	"Three hours?  You need some rest, Mom."

	"I know.  I just...I just..."  She stopped what she was doing.

	"It's OK, Mom.  It's OK," I said, walking to the stove to give her a hug.

	"I'd hoped it was just a bad dream, and that I would wake up and he'd be
there with me, but he wasn't.  It's not fair, Jacob.  It's just not fair,"
she emotionally managed to say.

	"I know, Mom."

	"He's supposed to outlive me.  I never thought of the day that I might be
living without him."  She tried to regain her composure and wiped her face.
"Sorry about that."

	"Mom."

	"Yes?"

	"It's OK.  We're all gonna go through a rough time.  It's OK.  It's
healthy," I sagely said.

	"Jacob...I have to be the strong one for you, your sister, and your
brother.  It's not supposed to work the other way round."

	"Mom."

	"Yes?"

	"That's bullshit.  We're all equals in this now.  Yes you're my mother, and
yes, I'll continue to respect your wishes, but we've got to support and be
strong for each other, otherwise we won't get through this."

	"Ay.  ¡Qué sabio!"  My mom kissed me on the cheek.  (How wise!)

	Jane and Jean-Marc joined us a few minutes later.  Danny slept away,
peacefully.  There was little energy between us, but the absence was
painfully present.  By eleven in the morning, it was decided that there was
work to be done.  Mom went up and showered, putting on a nice black suit
with a red blouse.  Tony wore jeans and a button down shirt.  Jean-Marc was
wearing a polo-style shirt and jeans, along with a brown sports coat.  They
left about 12, while Jane and I remained in the kitchen.  Danny was still
asleep.

	"Are you OK?" my sister asked after a moment of silence.

	"No sé.  No sé pensar."  (I don't know.  I don't know what to think.)

	"Yo tampoco."  (Me neither.)

	"Ya le extraño.  No pensé que estáramos aquí hablando de la vida después de
que mueriera."  (I already miss him.  I didn't think that we'd be here
talking about life after his death.)

	"Entiendo.  Quizás sea un poco infantil, pero pensé que él viviera por
siempre.  Yo le vi hace, como, dos semanas.  Él parecía de bien salud."  (I
understand.  Maybe it's a little infantile, but I thought he'd live forever.
  I saw him, like, two weeks ago.  He seemed to be in good health.)

	"Yo le hablé hace dos días, y no quejaba de nada.  Reía y chismeaba."  (I
talked to him two days ago, and he wasn't complaining about anything.  He
was laughing and joking.)

	"Hablamo' e'pañol?" Danny asked as he walked into the kitchen.  Whereas
Jane and I had learned Spanish after learning English, Danny had learned the
two simultanously, [simultaneously,] thus gaining an accent similar to what
one might hear on the streets of Havana.  (Are we speaking Spanish?)

	"Por un momentito, Dannycito," Jane answered.

	"Bueno," he said as he poured a cup of coffee and came to join us.

	"You OK, chiquito?" she asked.

	"No."  He continued to sit there for a moment.  "Has it hit y'all yet?"

	"No.  I'm still ready for him to come downstairs or something and tell us
that it was all a big joke," Jane said.

	"Jake?" Danny said, taking me from a moment of thought.  "What are you
thinking about?"

	"Christmas."

	"This past year?" Jane asked.

	"Yeah.  Everything was so perfect.  Everyone was here; I had Tony, whom I
love so much; Mom and Dad looked so happy.  Nothing will ever be the same."

	"The last fishing trip we took was so much fun, guys.  It was just the two
of us on the boat.  We didn't catch any fish this year, but being there with
him was amazing."

	We sat and talked for another good hour and a half before Mom, Tony, and
Jean-Marc returned.  They were tired, especially Mom.  She'd had already
done more in one day than she'd ever hoped she'd have to do.

	"Are you OK, babe?" Tony asked as he sat down beside me.

	"Yeah."

	"Do you still need to go to the mall?"

	"Yeah.  Danny.  Do you mind if we borrow your Jeep?"

	"Not at all.  Do you mind if I go with you guys?"

	"I don't have a problem with it," I said.  Tony concurred.

	"Alright.  I'm gonna go take a shower and put some clean clothes on," he
said as he stood and went up to his room.

	"I need a shower as well," I said.

	"Alright.  I'll be down here waiting on you guys."

	"OK."  I slowly climbed the stairs and walked into my bedroom.  I undressed
and walked into the bathroom.  I set the water so that a warm stream flowed
over my body.  I was tired, which was inexplicable given that I'd only been
up a few hours.

	I stopped the flow of water after a few minutes and dried myself off.  I
pulled boxers and jeans from the bag as well as a long sleeve t-shirt.  It
wasn't very cold, but a bit chillier than it had been in Auburn the day
before.  I descended the stairs and met Tony in the kitchen.  Danny came
down a few minutes later and the three of us were off.  We pulled out onto
the street and headed toward the mall.  Tony and I purchased a suit to get
ready for the funeral, while Danny went into a bookstore.  Two hours later,
we met Danny, who was seated on a bench outside of the bookstore.

	"What'd you get?" I asked as I sat next to my brother, who sat there filled
with sadness yet refusing to say much.

	"A couple of books...one about fishing and one about hockey.  I'm going to
put them in the coffin," Danny's eyes began to glisten.  We went to the car
shortly thereafter and drove home in silence.  Things still seemed far too
surreal.

	For the next day and a half, we entertained a host of people, [all] wishing
the family well.  Several of Mom's coworkers brought dishes by the house for
all of us.  On the third day after my father's desk, [death,] we woke up to
the realization that today was the day of his wake.  We dragged around all
day, especially Mom, who'd spent the majority of the previous two days in
her room.  For me, it had been a large blur.  When five o'clock rolled
around, we loaded into Mom's car and Danny's Jeep and drove a few miles to
the funeral parlor.  Dad had put into his will that he wanted a
non-denominational service, so as not to offend anyone who might be
attending the service.  When we arrived, there was a line of people outside
the building, awaiting a change [chance] to pay their final respect
[respects] to a man whom I knew to personally be [I personally knew to be]
one of the friendliest, hardest-working, most honest people in the world.
Family that we hadn't seen in some time showed up, faking an interest in how
our family was doing.  The Harpers showed up as well, in all their
evangelical glory.  Dalton McGuinty and his wife, my mother's boss and his
wife, came by for a moment, but couldn't stay long, as some of our family
members tried to mob them as they came into the viewing area.  Many of Dad's
colleagues from both the foreign service [again, think about capitalizing]
and in the Liberal party came.  Some of Danny's friends came by for a moment
to check on him, including a girl that he spent a lot of time with.
Jean-Marc's mom and step-father came down from Quebec.  His father passed
away several years ago, and upon finding out about what had happened with
Dad, his mom wanted to come down and see Mom, just to make sure that she was
OK.  None of my friends had even been made aware of what happened.  Val was
the only person that I'd called, but there was no way that she could have
come on such short notice.

	The whole process ended at around 9PM.  The people slowly filed past Mom
one last time.  By the time all was said and done, she came and sat down
next to Tony and me.  She leaned back on the bench and breathed deeply two
or three times.  She was wearing a striking black dress, with a pair of red
shoes that Dad had said made her look so sexy.  Even after 33 years of
marriage, they had never lost sight of the love they'd had as young
Canadians growing up in the 60s and 70s.

	"Mom?" Danny asked.

	"Yes baby," Mom said as Danny sat beside her on the bench.

	"I'm going to JT's tonight.  I need some time to deal with things."

	"I understand," she said, patting his knee, "but I would rather you not go
by yourself."

	"Jake and Tony.  Would you like to go with me?"

	"Sure.  I could use a drink," I answered.

	"I'll plan on driving then."

	"You should ask your sister as well," Mom suggested.

	"JANE!" Danny yelled across the room.

	"Yes?"

	"Fancy a drink?"

	"Nah.  I'm going to go back to Mom and.....Mom's house," she said.  "Have
one for me, though, little brother."

	"Yes ma'am," he said.  We hugged Mom and then Jane.

	We left a few minutes later, arriving at JT's at around 10.  As usual,
there was a line of people outside.  Tom was at the door, denying people
entry who weren't on the list.

	"Danny!  We haven't seen our token straight boy all week."

	"I've had some things going on," Danny said, in a friendly way, but in a
way where Tom would know that everything wasn't perfect.

	"You OK, man?"

	"I'll tell you about it later," Danny said.  "Is it cool?" my brother
inquired, pointing to the entrance.

	"Yeah.  Hey again, Jake and Tony."

	"It's good to see you," Tony said.  Danny walked into the bar, but I was a
few steps behind him.  Tom grabbed Tony's arm.

	"Is everything OK?" I heard him ask Tony.

	"It's been a rough week for the family," Tony answered.

	"Everybody OK?"

	"No.  Daniel passed away."

	"OH!  Oh my goodness!  I'm so sorry," I heard Tom say as I walked into the
bar.  Danny had already taken a table close to the bar.  Dave brought drinks
over for Danny.

	"Jake.  It's good to see you again."

	"Likewise, Dave.  How are things in your world?"

	"They're good."

	"Great."

	"Let me know if there is anything else."

	"Can you go ahead and fix us another round?" Danny asked.  "I'm gonna need
one sooner than you think.

	"Take it slow, Danny.  We've got a big day tomorrow."

	"I want to forget that `big day', Jake.  It will be the worst day of my
life, I assure you."

	"I know."

	"Do you?"

	"What do you mean?"

	"You don't even live here anymore.  You're gone, doing your own thing.  I
woke up every morning and went to bed every night in the same house with
him.  When we came back from Cuba, I had you and him, and then you left to
go to school.  Now I'm going to come home every night, and even though I
love Mom, I'm going to be alone in the world," he said, getting angry.  I
was about to cry.

	"Do you want me to move home?"  He was silent.  "Do you?"

	"I feel alone, Jake.  I mean, you have Tony...Jane has Jean-Marc, and I'm
alone."

	"What about that girl at the wake?"

	"What girl?  The blond?"

	"Yeah."

	"That's Mary.  She's just really nice, but she doesn't like me like that."

	"How do you know?"

	"She's seeing a guy named Roger."

	"Oh."

	"But my point is, I'm more alone than when we left Cuba.  The only friends
that I still have in Canada are here."

	"Danny.  You know that I love you more than anything.  You are my brother,
and you will always be my brother.  Just because I live far away doesn't
mean I don't think about you all the time.  You have always been one of my
best friends, and that will never change.  Do you understand?"

	"I'm sorry, Jake," he said after sitting in silence for a moment.  Dave
brought the second round of drinks to the table in a moment.  He noticed
that both of us were crying, still unable to fully cope with what was going
on and how our family was changing.

	"So you guys are gonna tell me what's wrong, or the drinks stop for the
evening."

	"Dad is gone."

	"He left?" Dave asked, to clarify the ambiguity of Danny's answer.

	"No," I said.

	"I can't say it, Dave.  I'm sorry," Danny said.

	"Dad passed away Tuesday," I said quickly, to get it over with.

	"Oh, no!  I am so sorry, guys.  Is there anything I can do?"

	"Get me drunk," Danny said.  Dave rubbed his back.

	"Alright, babe.  Anything you need," Dave said.  He walked away for a
moment and brought back a tray full of drinks.  Tony joined us a few minutes
later.  Danny finished one Cuba libre right after the other.  By midnight,
he was drunk to the point of numbness.  After his eighth drink, Dave
whispered that he'd started reducing the amount of liquor in his drinks.  By
the end, it was basically coke with a splash of rum.  Danny recounted story
after story of the relationship that he had.  By the end of the night, Danny
was smiling again, but it was short lived.

	"Oh man," Danny said, "This is so hard.  I need to get away from Toronto
for a little while when this is all over."

	"You want to come to see us?" Tony asked, looking at my brother as he
waited for an answer.

	"Would you guys mind if I flew back with you?"

	"Oh, no.  Not at all," I said.  "It will be a good chance for you to
realize that I still love you, and that you're still my best friend, Danny."

	"And there are a million hot girls down there," Tony said.

	"I might get a reputation," he said.  He put his arms on the table and then
lay his head on top of them.  He started to whimper.  "Jake?"

	"Yes..."

	"I'm sorry about earlier."

	"Don't worry about it...you won't remember it in the morning."

	"Yeah...I probably won't, but you will."

	"Danny...I will always love you."

	"And I will always love you...I'm glad you're my brother."

	"Me too."

	"Hey guys," Tony wisely interjected, "we need to get going.  It's almost
one."

	"Yeah," Danny said.  "Hey Dave!"

	"Yeah."

	"Thank you for stopping the flow of liquor before I'd had too much."

	"That's what's friends are for," he sang to Danny.

	When we got back to the car, Tony piled in the front seat.  Danny got into
the back seat, but as I was getting into the front seat, Danny stopped me,
asking me to sit with him.  I looked at Tony, and he motioned for me to get
in the back.  I got in, and Danny immediately scooted over next to me.  He
put his head on my shoulder and put his arm inside mine.

	"I'm glad you're here, bro."

	"You and me both."

	We pulled up to the house.  Mom had turned on the lights outside, but the
house still felt like it was missing something.  Tony and I helped Danny in,
but he asked if he could sleep with us again.  Tony didn't have a problem
with it, so we led Danny into my room.

	"Guys.  I love you.  Both of you."

	"I love you too, Danny," Tony said as we helped Danny get undressed.

	"You're not so bad, Danny," I said, joking with him.

	We put him into the right side of the bed, where he'd slept the night
before.  I walked around to the other side, taking off my clothes to climb
into bed.  Tony stopped me before I got there.  "You OK?"

	"Yeah.  At the moment."  I paused as he held me.  "Thank you, Tony, for
everything."

	"It's OK."  I kissed him on the lips.

	"Yummy...rum," he joked.  I wrapped my arms around his chest and pulled him
close to me.  "I luh you."

	"I luh you, too," I said.  He patted my ass a couple of times.  I turned
around and climbed into the bed.  He pulled in close to me and squeezed me
one good time.  I fell asleep quickly, despite the fact that my brother had
started to snore.

	When I woke up the next morning, Danny was already awake and out of bed.
Tony was still asleep, holding onto me in the same position that he was when
we fell asleep.  I quietly pulled away from him and got out of bed.   I
pulled on some shorts and a t-shirt, not wanting to scare the people who
were downstairs talking to my mother.

	I scaled down the stairs and walked into the kitchen.  My mother was
sitting there, along with a man that I'd never met before.  She wasn't in a
very good mood, but given the day, I didn't comment on it.

	"This is my son Jacob," my mother said after a break in their conversation.

	"Jake, this is Gerald Wildes, your father's attorney."

	"Hello, Mr. Wildes.  It's nice to meet you," I said, walking over to shake
his hand.

	"Now you're the one that's in grad school at Auburn?"

	"Yes.  That would be me."

	"Your father always spoke so highly of you.  He called me the week you
moved to Auburn and told me about your apartment and all of the things down
there.  He was very proud of you."  I smiled, but with a tear in my eye.
"I'm so sorry.  I didn't mean to make a bad situation worse."

	"You didn't.  I just had a memory moment."

	"You can feel free to tell me if I've offended you.  It won't upset me."

	"One thing about Jacob," Mom started, "he will tell you when you've made
him mad."

	"Right.  Would you like another cup of coffee?" I asked.

	"That would be amazing."

	I grabbed the pot and another mug.  I poured him a cup of coffee before
pouring myself one and placing the pot back onto the warmer.  "Sit with us
for a moment, Jake," Mom requested.

	"OK.  Anything I can help with?"

	"Actually," Gerald started, "if you don't mind.  Tell me your social
insurance number."

	"123-555-987," I said.  "What do you need my SIN for?"

	"Can I tell him?" Gerald asked.

	"Sure.  It saves me having to explain something that I don't fully
understand," Mom answered.

	"OK.  Well, apparently when your grandparents died, they left the three of
you some money.  One account was set up for the three of you directly.  A
second was set up for each of you, with your father as primary
accountholder.  The terms of your grandparents' will was that the three of
you didn't get the money until you turned 30, got married, or your father
passed away.  There was also a clause about your father only being able to
tell your mother until the time that the initial payment was disbursed.  So
I had to get it to transfer the money into an account under your name."

	"OK," I said, realizing that gravity of the fact that my father was gone.

	"I know it's morbid to do this so soon," Gerald said.

	"...but it has to be done," I finished.  He smiled and nodded.

	"Aren't you going to ask me how much it is?"

	"I figured you would tell me later.  Besides, no matter how much it is,
it's not going to bring him back.  If it were that easy, I'd be homeless."
It was already a long day, and it hadn't even gotten to the important part.

	"You're a great kid, Jake."

	"I know.  My boyfriend tells me that all the time," I tried to joke.  I
found that the smile I was trying to produce wasn't working.  I tried to
think of that old saying about 47 muscles to frown but only two to reach
back and bitchslap someone, but it didn't work.

	"He's a lucky guy," Gerald said before realizing what he'd said.

	"Thank you, though I consider myself the lucky one."

	"Yes well, Mrs. Henry, that's all for this morning.  I'll call you on
Monday and get your other children's numbers, if you don't mind gathering
those for me."

	"I will," my mother said as we stood to see the attorney off.  "We'll talk
Monday.  And thank you, Gerald."

	"It's not a problem.  Mr. Henry was a great man."

	"Yes.  He was.  That's why I chose him from among all my other suitors,"
Mom joked.

	"Yes ma'am," he joked.  He turned away and walked toward his car as a white
van pulled up.  It was the Harpers dressed in their funeral clothes.

	"Damn it."

	"What?"

	"Them."

	"Jacob.  Be nice.  They're here to mourn."

	"They're here to see what they can get."  Mother sighed in protest but
didn't disagree.  As Gerald pulled off, they piled out of the car.  Aunt
Freda came up and hugged my mother.  Uncle Ernest wasn't far behind.  Pete
and Kate came up behind them, but Tonya, thankfully wasn't there.

	"Are you OK, sis?" Aunt Freda asked.

	"I'm fine.  I thought you weren't coming until later."

	"No.  Ernest wanted to get out of the hotel room as soon as possible.  He
didn't sleep well last night.  The bed was kind of lumpy."  I wanted to
scream out that it wasn't the bed being lumpy, but rather Uncle Ernest, who
was twice the size of a normal person.  "Jacob.  You must be so sad," she
added, speaking to me as though I were a child.

	"I am."

	"Well.  Don't worry about it.  He's in a better place with his Saviour."

	"I suppose."

	"Boy!" Uncle Ernest yelled in my direction.  He held out his hand for me to
shake, and shake I did, squeezing his hand harder than he was expecting for
me to shake.  No one calls me boy in a diminutive sense.  I excused myself
and went up to my bedroom.  Tony had just woken up and was putting on some
clothes.

	"What's wrong?"

	"The Harpers are here."

	"Oh good!" he said sarcastically.  "I'm going to find Danny.  I'm not going
through this shit by myself."

	"I understand.  Come and get me when you find him.  Those people creep me
out."

	"Alright."  I walked over and kissed him on the lips.  "I ran up to Danny's
room, where he was sitting, watching videos from when he was a child.

	"I'm not coming down there," Danny said before I could tell him of my
intentions.

	"Please come down there so that I'm not alone with them."

	Jane walked in the bedroom before the conversation could continue.  "If
those idiots don't stop quoting bible verses, I'm going to scream.  And
Danny.  Get some clothes on.  If we have to be down there, you have to be
down there."

	She was turning to walk out of the room when Danny stopped her.  "You know,
if Dad were here, he'd be laughing at you right now."

	"Why?"

	"He'd blame it on the hormones," Danny attempted to make a joke.  Jane
chuckled.  Her chuckling led to full laughter, which made me smile, then
laugh, which made Danny smile.

	"Damn you, Daniel Henry!"

	"I love you, Sis."

	"Yeah...I know.  I'm a very loveable person, just ask Jean-Marc."

	"Sis.  He loves your ass, that's just gross."

	"DANNY!" she smiled.

	"I really do love you two.  I was watching one of Dad's old tapes this
morning.  It was from when you were born, Janey."

	"Really?"

	"Yeah.  It put a lot of things into perspective.  Dad wouldn't want us
moping around.  He would want us to have a pint and then remember the good
times."

	"That he would, brother," I interjected.

	"It's still hard," he said, pausing the video, "but we've got to stick
together through this.  We've got to be strong for Mom.  Dad would want us
to keep on living, as if this were just a bump in the road."  He stood up
and motioned for us to come into a hug.  We squeezed each other tightly.

	"So Jane," Danny asked, "have you guys decided on a name?"

	"If it's a boy...Daniel.  If it's a girl, Marguerite."

	"I like the boy's name!" Danny said.

	"So get dressed, damn it," Jane said.  "I'm going to go wake up my fiancé.
No sense in him missing out on the good times."

	We chuckled as Jane left the room.  "Go get Tony.  I'll be down in a
second."

	"Alright, bro.  You OK?"

	"Yeah.  There are so many good times we had."

	"Yeah."

	"And Jake.  I'm sorry about last night.  I know that I said I wouldn't
remember being an ass to you, but I do, and I feel bad."

	"Fuck it.  You were upset.  I won't hold it against you in any way
whatsoever."

	"Is the invitation still open?"

	"Do you still have a penis?"

	He reached into his pants and felt around for a second.  "Yep.  A hefty one
and two big balls.  Wanna see?"

	"NO!" I said, walking toward the door.

	"Alright then.  I love you Jake."

	"I love you, too."

	We entertained the Harper clan until it was time to get ready.  The funeral
was early in the day, compared to the wake, at around 2.  By 12:30, we were
ready to go.  Mom was wearing a black suit with the red shoes she'd worn the
night before.  Jane was in a black dress with a wide brimmed hat.  The men
all wore black suits, with white shirts.  Danny and I had black ties, while
Jean-Marc had a red one.  Tony had a blue one.  The Harpers left a few
minutes before the arrival of a car that the funeral home had arranged.  We
piled into the car behind the dark tinted windows as he flawlessly moved
between our suburban Toronto home and the funeral site.  We arrived to a
crowd lined outside the building.  The car was taken to the side of the
building so that we wouldn't have to deal with the crowd.  Once inside the
large chapel, we were given a chance to see our father's body one last time
before the casket was closed.  Danny purposely waited until last, when we
saw him put the two books he'd purchased at the mall in with our father's
body.  He said a few words before joining us in a part of the chapel that
had been reserved for family.  As the crowd entered and began to sit, the
reality of moment hit me like a weight.  Tony quietly took my hand.  He was
sitting on my left, with Danny on my right.  Mom was beside him, with Jane
and Jean-Marc ending the row.

	"Tony?" I leaned over and whispered.

	"Yes sir?"

	"I love you."

	"I love you, too."

	"Thank you."

	"No problem.  You would be here with me if the situations were reversed."

	"Oh yes," I said, squeezing his hand.

	My father's priest walked in front of the body.  It looked as though he
said a little prayer over my father's body before coming to offer
consolation to the family.  He was a very nice man, and he and Dad had
always gotten along very well.  He walked back to the podium in front of the
body and secured everyone's attention.

	"We have gathered today to honor a man who devoted his life to God, his
country, and most importantly, his family.  I think that anyone who knew him
well will say that he was quite the unconventional man.  He even asked that
this service be conducted differently from the normal pattern.  There are
several people who have asked to speak, and so I will make my part as short
as possible to give them a chance to do so."  He turned to the coffin.
"From everlasting death."

	"Deliver his soul, O Lord," the crowd responded.

	"May he rest in peace," Father Calvert added.

	"Amen."

	"Lord, hear my prayer."

	To which the crowd responded, "And let my cry come unto thee."

	"The Lord be with you."

	"And with thy spirit."

	"Let us pray.  We commend to thee, O God, the soul of this, thy servant,
that being summoned away from things temporal he may live with thee, and
that being cleansed from all spot of sin by the boundless merits of our Lord
Jesus Christ, he may have a share in the beatific vision, and may be
numbered among they elect, through the same Christ our Lord."

	"Amen," the crowd answered.

	"Eternal rest give unto him, O Lord."

	"And let the perpetual light shine upon him," the group followed.

	"May he rest in peace," Father Calvert added, quietly.

	"Amen," the group chanted as Father Calvert sprinkled holy water onto the
coffin, before closing it.  The lock of the coffin clicked, and with the
silence in the room, the sound echoed.  My heart stopped for a moment.  I
think Danny's did, too.  I put my hand on his knee, to which he responded by
placing his hand on top of mine.  Mother and Jane were holding hands, while
Jean-Marc looked toward the floor.

	The next few minutes went by.  Several people spoke of what a tireless,
interesting, hard-working, intelligent, loving compassionate man my father
had been.

	"Danny?" Father Calvert said, breaking me from the stupor that memory had
induced.

	Danny stood and walked past us to the podium, where Father Calvert gave him
a hug.  Danny took the stage, with all eyes glued to him.  "Um...I asked to
speak today to tell you about my Dad.  All of you have heard such great
things about him, but no one has spoken about how great of a father he was.
This was the man who would read me stories to make me fall asleep, take me
on little trips, and make me feel important when the world looked at me as
though I were just a little kid with nothing to contribute.  He would punish
me if I needed it, but explain why he was doing what he was.  The last words
we said to me whenever I would get in trouble and be punished were always `I
love you, Daniel.'  He was always there to support me.  He always let me
make my own decisions so that I would learn from my mistakes.  When I got
caught into the vicious loop of drugs as a teenager, my father didn't beat
me or give me a lecture, even.  He pulled me into the kitchen and waited
until I'd come off of the high I was on, and then told me that I was going
to go to rehab, right then.  There was no discussion; there was no argument;
there was just what he said.  He and I walked up to my room, packed a
suitcase, and then he and I drove to the rehab center he'd found that would
take me.  We filled out some paperwork, and then he looked at me.  He gave
me a hug and said that he loved me.  That was the hardest time of my life,
and he knew it.  He called me every day and came to visit me twice a week,
once with my family and once by himself.  It was because of him that I
finished high school and started college.  You guys can never know exactly
how I felt about this man, but I assure you that he was, perhaps the
greatest man alive.  I think my family will agree that he's somewhere,
drinking a beer and laughing at the lot of us."  The crowd chuckled, and
Danny smiled.  "Seriously, though.  I will always love him, and I will
always miss him, but I will cherish the memories that I have of him always."
  As he walked from the podium, there was a round of applause for him,
something that I've never experienced at a funeral.

	The solemnity of the ceremony returned though as the body was placed atop a
carriage to be carried to the grave site.  We filed behind the body until we
came to my father's final resting place.  My uncle Ernest, Tony, Jean-Marc,
Danny and I lifted the body from the carriage and placed it so that it could
be lowered into the grave.  Father Calvert stood at the head of the grave,
and once the body was in position, made the sign of the cross over it.  "May
this resting place be blessed for the day of resurrection, in the name of
the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.  Amen."  The faithful
Catholics made the symbol of the cross.  "O God, by whose compassion the
souls of the faithful rest in peace, graciously bless this grave, and make
he who shall be buried here partakers of everlasting joy, and of the company
of thine elect, through Christ our Lord.   Amen.  John 3:16 says, `For God
so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whosoever shall
believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life.'  As we lay this man
to rest, let us not forget that the Father is the Alpha and the Omega, and
that he is the giver and taker of all life.  We will all fondly remember
this man, but he is in heaven with Father, enjoying life eternal.  Saith
Christ our Lord, I am the resurrection and the life; he that believeth on
me, though he were dead, yet shall he live; and whosoever liveth and
believeth in me shall never die."  The body was lowered into the grave, and
everyone there threw a flower onto his grave.  Solemnly, the family walked
away from the grave and back to the car.

	Two days after the funeral, Tony and I went home.  Danny stayed in Toronto
for a few more days, joining us as Spring Break was beginning.  Since we
knew he was coming, we once again postponed our trip to Cuba.  He spent two
weeks with us, spending enough time to relax as he reflected on the new
chapter the fates had opened for him.  We had time to hang out and enjoy
each other's company, getting to know that we were here for each other,
regardless of distance away.  When he returned to Toronto, he seemed to have
a new perspective on life, as did I.  My world had changed as well, and Tony
had proven himself the model boyfriend.  With each day that passed, I grew
to love him more...and more.

=====

Questions or comments? boricuaholandes@hotmail.com