**Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. While the characters are based on real people, the situations are entirely fictional. Locations in the story have been used by the author to create the setting and also were not part of any reality. Don't read if you shouldn't because you're under 18 or live in an area where it would be illegal.
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Chapter Three
I had no plans for Spring Break; he asked if I wanted to tag along with him to his parents. The plan was we'd stay a few days then go on down to Panama City Beach where some other friends of his had rented a big beach house. I said sure and we took off.
The nearer we got to Camden, the more serious and frankly sour his disposition became.
When we pulled into the yard, his dad and one of his brothers came out to meet us. His dad was a big, burly man; I think Austin said he was some kind of big machinery operator or something. He was dressed in a flannel shirt, dirty jeans and a pair of work boots thickly crusted in red mud. My first impression was that he was a pretty congenial man. Later, at supper he started asking Austin tons of questions about the university and dorm living. Austin explained the living arrangements with the separate rooms and the communal bathrooms.
"I don't see how y'all can stand those community bathrooms. You don't know when those college boy fags are getting off on glimpses of your cocks while you're taking a shower" he spewed. Austin's mom looked at him and said "Language!" It didn't slow old Bobby down though, he sprinkled comments like that all through dinner.
When bedtime came Austin told me to come on with him. His childhood bedroom had bunk beds. His dad stopped by and said goodnight and told us "at least you don't have to worry about no queers bothering you in here."
I waited until Bobby had walked on to join his wife and looked at Austin and whispered "I don't know man; some queer might bother you in here" joking around with him. The look I got back from him was a mixture of equal parts of hate and fear. Through gritted teeth he quietly said "NOTHING WILL HAPPEN HERE AT ALL, do you understand?" a chill ran down my spine and I nodded my head and for the first time since the first time the two of us fooled around I put on my shorts and tee shirt to wear to bed. Austin's younger brother stuck his head in on his way to his room and made the smart-ass comment "Y'all don't keep me awake all night with your cornholing" and laughed. Austin didn't laugh at the joke. Austin didn't so much as smile. He glared at me like he was daring me to say a word. I just turned toward the wall and went to sleep.
The two nights were stayed there were sheer torture. Austin's demeanor changed to the point I felt like I didn't even know him. The next morning, only after we made it clear of Camden, his spirits began to lift. By the time we got down to the beach he was back to his school normal, but it was too late for me. I knew that as soon as we made it back, I was done with him and his inner demons.
The week in Panama City passed pretty quick. I really didn't see much of Austin other than seeing him take various girls upstairs, presumably to fuck. I walked on the beach till late at night, trying to escape the noise and the atmosphere at the beach house. I ran into kindred soul who was in a similar situation, as in gay and stuck in the middle of horny fraternity and sorority orgies. We spent the last night in his van talking and light petting. The next morning, we headed back to Tuscaloosa, I was driving because Austin had a major hangover. He reclined the seat way back and went to sleep. I thought a lot on that trip back. They say hindsight is 20/20, and looking back on it all, it was easy for me to see how naïve and optimistic I had been. The fact was nothing would have ever come of my time with Austin should have been clear. For one, his auto-homophobia and bipolar nature would have never let anything happen, and two, to be honest with myself I would have thwarted it myself because I was so afraid of people finding out.
Sometimes when you look back on your life and travels through time it seems like you just look away a minute and when you look back everything has changed.
Last I heard Austin dropped out and was back in his old home town, running big equipment with his dad. I heard he had several kids. It was like history repeating itself.
Me, I moved on and when I graduated, I went to Atlanta, where I met my husband Tom, and we tried our best to live happily ever after.
Lambodara 9/11/20
lambodara@protonmail.com