Date: Fri, 21 May 2021 14:35:43 -0700 From: Mitchell Bardine Subject: Friends at Breedum Hung Friends at Breedum Hung U. [Hello, fans! If you enjoy this story, please drop me a line at the above email address. And drop some spare change into Nifty's hat. We're thankful for a no-nonsense, open forum for queer smut!] And now... "So, you've discovered that the leadership at a homophobic megachurch are perverts and hypocrites. And you think this is a newsworthy revelation?" Professor Globo Starch played a clip from the secret video recording Junior had made, showing men in brown suits and Evangelist hair getting blowjobs from underlings with cockrings. "In my field, this is so well known as to be a cliche. And all the churchgoers know it too, but would scream `fake news' if we publicized this video. Such is the state of the world. So, you have naively wasted your time while failing to incite and record much more interesting behavior, which I could analyze and write about. What can I do. I shall pay you for your travel expenses but I must reconsider who I can work with henceforth." Junior wished he hadn't volunteered to help the prof with his psychology experiments involving straight men in tearooms. On the one hand, Junior thought about going directly to the nearest campus tearoom (there was at least one in every building) to remind himself how much he enjoyed random, man-to-man action. On the other hand, Junior felt like a failure at doing what he ought to do best--turning straights momentarily gay by showing off his wiener--and these gloomy thoughts shot his libido to hell. It was just about time for his next class, so fuck all this, time to move on. In Junior's math class was a nerdy guy Junior first met outside of school. He too was a former summer employee at the Essence Vitale biofuels cum factory, and sported a Godzilla dong nearly as impressive as Junior's, which had been seen unloading gallons of man juice into the machines along with everybody else. He had a sort of Clark Kent hidden handsomeness, was well-formed but not overly muscular, shy and quiet. One got the impression this fellow was naive enough to be oblivious to his charms and never use them to his advantage. He was perfect for Junior, who, while being one of the most notorious sexpigs on campus, was also straight and thus hesitant to acquire a close buddy to get off with. Junior's tiff with his girlfriend gave him a shove in this direction. "Wanna go get lunch and trade stories about that summer job we both had?" offered Junior when class was done. Sirk, which was the nerdy guy's name, accepted, springing an obvious boner the whole way to the cafeteria. "What's `Sirk' mean? It's a nickname, right?" queried Junior as they sat masticating in public at an outside table. "Circumference. Nobody could ever get their hand around my wiener. I had a lot of guys trying, but I didn't have to do anything, they just found me. So I went that way, `cause they were friendly." Junior smiled. "Yeah, I get that a lot too. It's how I usually get off, y'know, lettin' `em grab it, whoever they are. Sometimes I think about having a friend to do things with, in addition. Might be more relaxing, less stressful, y'know." "Oh, I'm real awkward with that stuff. I don't know what to say. I can't read people and figure out what they want. I'm afraid I'll do something wrong and be an embarrassment. It's awful." Sirk looked around the plaza enviously at the groups of friends happily bantering and blathering and feeling each other's baskets. "Well, you and me are talking just fine right now. And we could keep on talking, I bet. How about we try it? Helping each other out, I mean. We're kinda matched, got similar needs." Junior was looking down a the wet spot at the end of Sirk's bulge, remembering how the guy once spontaneously ejaculated a puddle through his pants in class. "Fuck, that would be awesome! You're famous, you know, and I'm just this reclusive geek, but if we could get along, that'd be fantastic. I wouldn't have to feel like such a social outcast." Clearly, an intimate rendezvous was urgent. Usually, Junior thought about cocks but not about what they were attached to. Was he unconsciously placing this other guy in a feminine role? Shy, sweet, passive, not much body hair. Yeah, maybe. After a few silent moments, Junior announced "I haven't got any classes this afternoon. Gotta hardon too." The table was small, and Junior was able to move his leg so that the wet ends of their boners rubbed together. Is this how they play footsie in Dixie? Sirk had an apartment off campus near the fraternities. As he and Junior walked down the hallway to his room pitching tents tall enough for a trapeze act, the cleaning lady scolded him. "Not all over the carpet!" Sirk cringed, chagrined. As he closed his door the cleaning lady muttered "At least he's got a friend, finally." "Yes, what a mess, this guy couldn't live with anyone" remarked Junior to himself as he took in the piles of books and space toys and electronics junk. Between the sofa and the 60-inch video monitor was the center of operations where every resource was available, including laptops, gaming consoles and XX-Large jackoff sleeves. "Here's where I study, and everything else" Sirk announced as he graciously cleared an area on the sofa for Junior to sit down. "I'm pretty much an `otaku'." "I'd say you're more of a burrito, maybe two burritos end to end..." Junior traced out the volume in the air with his hands, looking at Sirk's pants. "No, it's Japanese for geek. I learned that reading translated porno comics. Of course, their live action video porn leaves a lot to be desired in the dick department. Lemme bring up some good stuff." Sirk had connected his gaming console to his laptop instead of a mouse, allowing him to sift through links and pages at lightning speed. The big monitor now displayed a scene featuring a group of blond Adonises, all nearly identical to each other down to the style of their penises. Pretty much anything guys could do with each other was being done in this orgy, shot in an industrial metal stockroom somewhere. Occasionally they brought in technical, clunky-looking sex toys to ply cocks with, when hands and mouths weren't quite enough to pop some recalcitrant nut. They were rather rough and aggressive, using their ample muscles to blow and jack each other to fountaining eruptions in a practiced, mechanical way, but the constant high-quality cock milking was heating up Junior's nuts to roasting. Obviously a professional production. Junior wondered if Sirk was advertising the sort of action he desired, expecting Junior to play this role. Let's see. "Boy, those guys are hung!" commented Junior, salaciously. "Not as much as us!" Sirk retorted. "Yeah? Let's check." Junior flipped out his unit, cluing Sirk to do the same, and they concluded that indeed the Adonises couldn't match the examples in their laps. Without knowing why, Junior now acted uncharacteristically forward. "Lemme eat that burrito." He leaned over and grabbed the end of Sirk's unit, stuffing as much as he could into his mouth while jacking the rest with two hands, which is the most you can do with a thing like that. Sirk was anxious to do the same, so they maneuvered such that they could 69 while both watched the video. Junior's oral skills had improved since he'd started practicing on his roommate in the dorm. Nothing personal, just to relieve the poor guy after having to see Junior's sword unsheathed all the time, the least he could do to remain on good terms. Junior now knew what worked, and could reliably bring off nearly everybody he encountered. It seemed to be working on Sirk, whose cock had gotten hard as steel and continuously leaked. Apparently, Sirk himself had a lot of experience, judging by the effect he was having on Junior's joystick. Sirk had said "so I went that way," probably meaning he was in fact gay and a true fan of dicks, which were such a plentiful resource at school that Sirk and all his classmates were eligible for an associate degree in cocksucking. While the rough action onscreen wasn't Junior's style, it was exciting to see insanely masculine sex without a shred of tenderness. This appealed to his dick-gay, straight guy sensibility; he wasn't gonna kiss Sirk's mouth, just his massive dick, and make something happen. Sirk turned out to be more susceptible to stimulation than Junior, who was surprised to get the first cum jet shooting onto his palate. Junior thought "fuck, man, I'll choke if I try to swallow all this stuff" and removed the dick to shoot the rest onto his chin and neck. Watching this dryer hose up close blasting ball juice was wildly exciting, especially since Junior made it happen, so he soon unloaded into Sirk's face. Despite Junior's enhanced capacity, Sirk was able to take it all down. "This guy really is a fan of cum-spurting cocks! He aughtta be more popular" Junior said to himself as he continued to squirt. As they lounged with their still-dripping dicks hanging over the edge of the sofa, Junior promised to get Sirk into his fraternity, Iota Nu Beta. "They'll love you there. They're total perverts. One of the guys I know there is sorta obnoxious, but he can be fun, too. Big dick." "And coming from you, that means something! Hey, wanna see where I found that clip? The site's insane." Sirk fiddled with his game console and the huge monitor now presented a strangely primitive-looking page of crackpot rants, pseudo-histories and weird products for sale, which delighted Sirk. "See this? It's a jackoff machine powered by a little Diesel engine! This stretchy, spring-loaded cock ring doesn't have any plastic parts. And here's an electro-stim unit to shock yer cock till you pop, but the electronics uses vacuum tubes! It's like all this stuff could have existed in the 1940s." Here was a pseudoscience article about the sexual superiority of Germans, Norwegians and certain Tibetan adepts. Another article claimed the shape of the glans penis was correlated with mental capacity. Another asserted that low-hanging balls indicated degeneracy and lax morals, while a tight scrotum was more desirable for mental health. There were pubic exercises to improve this. "What's with all the craziness?" Junior exclaimed as Sirk scrolled through. "I ordered the electro-stim unit and it's ready at the factory to pick up. Wanna go with me?" The crumbling old industrial part of town was a wonder of weirdness nowadays. Cheap rent made it easier for marginal businesses to locate there, some of which were marginal for good reasons. Sirk was looking for a factory called Maschinenfabrik Rohm. "They just moved here from Argentina" explained Sirk as they wandered through the bare streets, hearing clanking machinery. Junior spotted the new sign on the grayest, most decrepit building of them all. Opening the front door made a brass bell ring. A few seconds later, a man in black uniform appeared. "Gruss Gott" he said, offering an old Bavarian greeting, but with an expression of suspicion. "Uh, I'm here to pick up an item I ordered. An electro-stim unit." Sirk was businesslike, having gone to many such places for obscure technical devices, but also to minimize the embarrassment of this one being for his dick. "Ah. Do kommst mit me please. Ze electrodes must be prezisely fitted. Your friend may here vait." As the uniformed man with the accent led Sirk deeper into the factory, Junior looked around, wondering what this place was about. A sign on a door said "Kein Eingang." Wondering what sort of gang this was, Junior went in. Sirk stood in a room outfitted like a mid-20th century medical exam room, with his pants off as commanded, getting ogled by the uniformed man. "Ve will need errrect measurements" the man said with enthusiasm. He brought out a device that looked like stainless steel fireplace tongs with two 1950s Swedish Massager vibrator motors mounted on the jaws. "Ze pain vill be minor" he assured Sirk, as he clamped down on Sirk's flaccid firehose and turned on the motors. Sure enough there was pain, but also a rush of blood into Sirk's unit, getting him automatically bone-hard in seconds. As the giant cock stiffened, the man kept the tongs clamped down. It didn't take long for Sirk to start feeling an orgasmus sexualis coming on, worrying that messing up this spotless office with a spray of spooge might be an embarrassment, marking him as a rank amateur who can't control himself in a formal setting. With Sirk's involuntary panting and twitching the man could sense this and unclamped the device in time. He produced a set of calipers with which to measure diameters and other dimensions, then abruptly left to report these findings to someone else as Sirk stood there with dripping hardwood. Junior had searched around and found the exam room, rushing in through the door once he saw the uniformed man leave. "Sirk! This is a weapons factory! There's enough munitions here to invade a small country! And I found the place where the guys in the video were getting it on. Guns and sex toys, what the fuck?" Only now did Junior register the oddness of Sirk's predicament, half naked and still stiff after almost coming. It made Junior's meat rise sympathetically. A pack of black-uniformed men burst into the room, hardons at the ready, but were surprised to see Junior there also. "Vas geht?!" one of them asked threateningly. Another looked at Junior's burgeoning bulge and remarked "dicke hose" (with the ending e in each word pronounced as "eh", the phrase literally means "thick pants," part of a common German metaphor for a propensity to boast, but here it reads equally well in English). "Ah, so you have not stayed in your place, haf you? Has your snooping revealed somezing alarming? Apparently it has." Junior realized that he was now afraid of the stern, military-looking men, and it showed on his face. They were all so similar, he couldn't tell which one he'd originally met. Actually, he'd seen them all before; these were the video Adonises. One look at their stiff peckers would tell you that, if you could take only one look. "Maybe your only option now is to join us" another of the clones said with one raised eyebrow. "I zink you would have a tendency to." The clone men's cocks stood ramrod straight as one of them addressed Junior and Sirk, whose cocks had gone limp. "Ve are ze Ernst Rohm Society. Ve re-formed many years ago after our leader was executed, and ve had to flee. On an island off South America, ve bred und refined our race for generations, but entirely in vitro, no females involved, such is our advanced science. `Kunst uber kuntz' as ve say. Also ve solved ze inbreeding problem, so ve can all be perfect. It has been done in utmost isolation to retain purity. Now, financially supported by our `marital aid' business und distribution of our `Viktor's Secret' videos, ve are prepared to begin a revolution to ensure perfect manhood can exist openly. You fellows vill no longer hide your activities or attachments for fear of shame und persecution. Ve shall depose people who enforce terror on us, and set up a new government based on ideal masculinity, making liaisons between men perfectly ordinary. Formerly `normal' people vill haf to explain zemselves!" Junior had to think fast. How to be diplomatic, while remembering all the guns in the next room? Purity and isolation, frozen misconceptions. Would they accept some good news? He spoke up. "Y'know, I basically agree with many of your sentiments, but I think your plan isn't necessary, `cause there's a different way, and it's worked. Basically, gay guys said `hey, we're just folks too' and the straights said `oh? Ok.' So now, me and Sirk here can do what we want and everybody knows about it and nobody cares. It's ordinary. We're just folks. We go to a school where gay and straight men are encouraged to go at it all the time and we do. There's internet public forums for explicit gay sex stories anyone can read. Guys can get married. I mean..." Junior shrugged. The black-suited, identical men were astounded. After a few seconds of thought, one suggested "It sounds as if a revolution already happened, no?" Sirk piped up. "No revolution. Just an appeal to the humanity in everybody. Well, most of `em." "Such a change! Ve had been killed for zis before. And you are not. Unbelievable. Under ze circumstances, ve may haf to revise our position!" Another commented "Magnus Hirschfeld Society may sound better, no?" The men proudly showed Junior and Sirk where the videos were shot. "Peter und Rodhard are often just here, in a position like so..." The two men got undressed and proceeded to 69 on the floor, careful to make their dicks visible from various camera angles. "Hans und Jurken are here, doing zis..." These now naked fellows mutually jacked each other while watching the first two. "Stifan und Heine do what is usual for zem..." The two men butt-boned in a standing position. "Knut und Spritz haf fun as ve show now..." These multi-orgasmic dudes pulled their puds and came on the others, triggering them to do the same. The last one, Otto, captured the action on an old Arriflex 16mm film camera while wanking himself off. The entertainment value was not lost on Junior and Sirk, who doffed their clothing and mutually masturbated each other. Seeing this, Otto turned the bright lights on the newcomers, as the Adonis team rushed over to properly welcome them. Sirk,--a big fan of this group--was anxious to get his hands and mouth full of pornstar dick and was obliged by three of the performers. Meanwhile Junior was content to get his dickhose worked on by a team of professionals while the camera whirred nearby. When Knut and Spritz stood on either side of him, Junior took the opportunity to wank their weiners for them. Indeed, these penises exemplified the ideal described on the website; slightly flared helmet head, straight shaft, tight balls. "I like a gently curving shaft and more of a mushroom head, plus low-hanging nuts" mused Junior, surprised at his own fine sense of genital aesthetics. "But, y'know" Junior thought, "these feel very nice to jack." Junior was pleased at the mounting excitement he was causing, and even more pleased when it resulted in a double fountain of erupting spunk, splattering the guys orally servicing his shaft and coating parts of the shaft itself. Peter and Rodhard were delighted to lick this condiment off Junior's sausage, a sight that greatly boosted his progress toward coming. Sirk had managed to get into a similar arrangement with Hans and Jurken, who were rapidly beating his meat in coordinated strokes while tickling his balls. Sirk was getting weak in the knees, and had to sit on the floor propped up on his elbows while the men continued their work. By this time, Knut and Spritz had gotten hard again and were furiously pumping their puds in anticipation of another double cumshot in Sirk's direction. Sirk had gotten plenty of gay and straight hands on his dick over the years starting in the High School gym showers, and had cum from this numerous times as classmates tested their skill and won bets against skeptics who doubted such a humongous member could be defeated in combat. Still, the way these guys jacked a dick was so efficient that Sirk heated up faster than he ever had from a handjob. It also didn't hurt to have Knut and Spritz give him an occasional taste of their cockheads as they got closer to delivering another photogenic load. Junior decided to recline next to his new friend while continuing to get sucked, and share the experience. He leaned over to Sirk and spoke quietly. "Some service, huh?" "Oh yeah, and by actual pros! Never thought I'd see the day. An otaku's fantasy!" "Y'know" continued Junior, "I was kinda uncomfortable speaking for you guys back there, explaining how you won. I mean, I'm not actually gay. What right do I have." Sirk was supportive. "You're a `crossover' guy. You won too. You've done your part, and it's a big part, and now your part's being..." "...done by these guys. Yeah yeah, ha ha. You goofball!" By watching each other and skillfully holding their loads, Sirk and Junior were able to skeet their scum at the same instant, to the delight of future video viewers. This would be the most profitable installment in the Viktor's Secret series.