Date: Tue, 7 Sep 2010 11:12:45 -0400
From: pertinax carrus <perti@live.com>
Subject: Bryce, Chapter 14

This story is fiction.  The city of Clifton, and the University of Clifton,
exist only in my imagination.  Any resemblance to real persons, living or
dead, is purely coincidental.  These stories have as their main character a
sexually active gay college student.  If this is offensive to you, or if it
is illegal in your area, or if you are under age, please leave now.

This story involves a search for personal acceptance, worth, and meaning.
There is a religious element in these stories.  If you don't like that,
maybe now is a good time to leave.

My stories develop slowly.  If you're in a hurry, this is probably not for
you.

Thanks to Colin for editing.

Constructive criticism is welcome on my e-mail at perti@live.com.

____________________________________________________________________

Bryce, Chapter 14 - Labor Day

     Bryce made it through that weekend because so much was happening.  He
did not have time or energy to brood over the implications of his
admission, made to Damon in the small city park on Saturday morning, that
he is gay.  He knew, as he said at the time, that this raised a slew of
other questions which he would have to face, but he was not prepared to
face them all at once.  He now knew that there was no more question about
his sexual orientation.  That question, which had been the most pressing
one causing him to seek a place like Clifton, far away from the insistent
presence of his family, his entire past, was now definitely answered.  From
the moment he said those words to Damon - "I'm gay" - it was like a great
weight lifted from his soul.  His mind was flooded with light.  He just
knew with every fiber of his being that this was true.  He would have to
find out what that entailed, and what he could do about it, but he could no
longer deny it.
     Although Damon had come out to Bryce and Curtis on Saturday morning,
and wanted a relationship with Bryce, he had not pressed him further.
Perhaps he felt a little guilty, as he confessed in the park, about having
pressured Bryce to declare himself, even though Bryce was actually grateful
that Damon's antics had caused him to accept this truth about himself.  The
kiss they had exchanged had also promised more, but what and when remained
to be decided.  Bryce knew that Damon was a very special person in his life
now, and hoped he would remain so, but he was not at all sure just what
that meant.  They did not treat each other any differently the rest of
Saturday and all day Sunday, but there was still a real difference.  Maybe
not in anything actually said or done, but in how it felt.  It was as
though there was an understanding between them, an understanding that
promised more in the future.  For now, Damon seemed to retreat some,
allowing Bryce to digest this new level of self-realization.
     The next day, Monday, September 7, was Labor Day.  There were no
classes scheduled, but, because it was so close to the beginning of the
semester, and because it was just a one day break, most students stayed
around.  To help celebrate the holiday, Sigma Alpha Tau would have a
cook-out that evening, just for members and guests, but members in this
context included pledges.  There would be a brief "instruction" at one
o'clock, they were informed.
     Bryce found himself awake at six, his usual rising time these days, so
he decided to take in the gym.  He knew that Damon would not take kindly to
being awakened on a non-class day, so he decided to take advantage of the
offer made by Curtis some time ago, and call him.  Besides, he kind of felt
he owed Curtis some up-dating on his personal situation, as Curtis already
seemed to know he was gay before he did, but had not mentioned it again
after that Saturday before last.  He waited until just before 6:30, then
called Curtis' cell number.  The phone rang seven times before a sleepy
voice answered.
     "Yeah?"
     By this time, Bryce knew he had made a mistake, but he had to say
something.  "This is Bryce.  Sorry, I should have guessed you might be
sleeping in on the holiday."
     "Let me guess.  You're wanting someone to spot you at the gym, right?"
     "Um, yeah.  That's why I called.  But never mind," Bryce hesitated.
     "It's okay.  Go ahead, but don't do anything stupid.  I'll be there in
thirty, forty-five minutes, okay?" Curtis generously proposed.
     "Thanks.  I should have known you'd want to sleep late," Bryce
repeated.
     "It's not that.  It's just that I'm in bed with Maddy now and ....
Ow!"  That last was accompanied by a slapping sound.
     Bryce could not help himself.  He snickered.  "Tell Maddy I'll make it
up to her.  I'll take the two of you back to El Rincon Latino soon," he
chuckled.
     "I'm signing off before I get into more trouble," Curtis said, and the
phone went dead.
     Bryce took his time getting to the Fitness Center.  Once there, he
varied his work-out, putting off anything which might possibly need a
partner, practicing only safe exercises.  It was nearer to forty-five
minutes than to thirty when Curtis appeared.  He had a slightly silly but
very satisfied expression on his face.  Evidently, he and Maddy had made up
any disagreements they had over his blurting out their private affairs to
Bryce.
     "Sorry if I caused problems between you and Maddy," Bryce ventured.
     "We worked it out," Curtis grinned.  "Man, I love that woman!  I'm
going to marry her.  We just need to let the flack over her brother and all
die down, you know."
     "I'm glad for you," Bryce said sincerely.  He felt a glow, knowing
these friends were so happy with each other.  He was not sure just what,
but he was tentatively inching towards some such relationship with Damon.
He needed to talk to Curtis about that.
     When, after nearly an hour, they were in the hot tub, Bryce decided it
was time.  "There's something I need to say to you.  Needing a spotter was
not the only reason I called you this morning."
     "No?"
     "No.  You remember, Saturday before last, you indicated you knew I was
gay."
     "Bryce, I have not mentioned that to anyone except Maddy.  And we did
vote you and Damon into the pledge class."
     "I know, and I'm grateful for that.  But I want to tell you that
things have developed some since then.  You remember that on Saturday
morning Damon said he was gay.  Somehow, that did not surprise me, and it
evidently did not surprise you either.  After we left the house, you know,
after the confrontation with Bick, Damon told me how much he appreciated
being accepted like that.  He said some things about his background that
indicated that acceptance was very important to him."
     "I told you before, I think Damon will be an asset to the fraternity.
I don't care whether he's gay or straight," Curtis said.
     "And that's exactly why he's grateful.  But I really wanted to talk
about me, egotist that I am.  You see, Damon and I had a long talk, and,
well, in the end I admitted, to him and to myself, that I'm gay, too.  You
said I had better come to grips with that.  Well, there are still lots of
unanswered questions, but now I can accept it.  I am gay," Bryce said,
observing Curtis carefully for his reaction.
     "Congratulations," Curtis said.  "Like I said, Maddy noticed first,
but after she pointed it out, I was almost positive.  I'm glad you're
coming to accept it.  I think you'll be happier in the long run.  And I
think you'll be a great SAT brother, too.  As Pledge Master, I can't play
favorites.  I hope all of you make it.  But if there's anything I can do,
don't hesitate."
     "Thanks, Curtis.  That means a lot, to both of us."
     "Are you and Damon - what's the right term? - boyfriends?"
     "I'm not quite sure, but definitely moving in that direction," Bryce
answered.
     "Good luck.  I wish only the best for both of you."
     By the time they completed their stint at the Fitness Center, and
Bryce returned to his room and changed, it was past eight-thirty.  He
decided to deny his stomach, and wait a while longer for his neighbor to
awaken, so he sat down at his computer and checked his e-mail.  As there
was most days, there was a lengthy message from his mother.  There was also
a shorter missive from his sister, and even a few lines from his brother,
congratulating him on pledging Sigma Alpha Tau, in response to his missives
of the day before.  This almost brought tears because it reminded him so
forcefully of the difference between his family and Damon's.  He did not
want to loose that.  Somehow, he had to find a way to reconcile his family
and his newly accepted sexual orientation. For now, though, all he could do
was send them his thanks, and a few words about what had been happening
since his last contact.
     About 9:30 he decided it was time for breakfast.  His stomach was
rumbling like thunder in a summer storm.  Cautiously, he took a peek into
Damon's room.  Fortunately, there was a stirring in the dimness, so Bryce
would not have to resort to wet wash cloths or water pistols.
     "Come on!  Up and at 'em!  If you sleep any later, breakfast will
merge into lunch," Bryce urged.
     "What's wrong with that?" Damon groggily asked.  But he did get
himself going.  After his shower, the two walked over to the student
cafeteria for something to hold them over until lunch, all of two hours or
so away.  As they ate, they discussed their day.  There was the fraternity
meeting for all pledges at 1:00, but Damon hoped it would not last long.
He was a Chicago Cubs fan, and they were playing that afternoon, so he
wanted to catch at least some of the game.  Bryce was less enthusiastic,
but agreed to go along.  There was a large screen TV in the lounge at the
head of the stairs on their floor at the dorm, which would be the logical
place to watch it.  They knew some others would be there as well, as there
had been some casual talk around the corridors, and a notice on the
bulletin board.  Then, in the evening, there would be the cook-out back at
the fraternity.
     After breakfast, with nothing specific to do, Bryce and Damon took a
walk around campus.  Bryce decided it was time to clarify that question
Curtis had asked.  Were they boyfriends?  He was working on finding a way
to introduce the topic, when Damon said, "All right, there's something on
your mind.  What is it?"
     "Damn," Bryce replied.  "It's scary when you read my mind."
     "Don't worry.  Most of the time you're as clear as mud.  Of course, I
can't tell whether that's my reception or your mental condition," Damon
teased.
     Bryce was tempted to do more than the punch to the shoulder he
delivered, but instead restrained himself.  "This morning I met Curtis at
the gym."
     "Couple of masochists," Damon commented.
     Ignoring this, Bryce plowed on.  "I told him about coming out on
Saturday."
     "How did he take it?"
     "He already knew.  He knew before I did, just like with you.  He said
Maddy told him.  But he was great about it.  Said both of us would be
assets to the fraternity."
     "Curtis is a good man," Damon asserted.  "Now that Bick is
neutralized, I feel confident about getting into SAT."
     "You going to send Aeropostale an engraved invitation to the swearing
in ceremony?"  Bryce joked.
     "I don't think that will be open to the public," Damon said, a
question in his voice.
     "No, I was joking.  But back to Curtis.  He asked whether we were
boyfriends.  Are we?"
     "How can you ask, after that kiss in the park?  What do you want, for
me to get down on one knee and propose to you?" Damon asked with some
impatience.
     "Cool it.  I want to be your boyfriend, Damon.  I was just making
sure.  And I don't know exactly what that means, either.  I'm still
struggling with what it means to be gay."
     "Okay.  I don't see the problem, but I know you do.  How about this:
we're boyfriends, but we'll take it slow and easy.  No pressure.  We can
talk, and when you're ready, well, we can do more than talk."
     Bryce chuckled.  "No pressure, eh?  Okay.  But I really do need some
time to work things out in my head.  Slow and easy suits me fine
... boyfriend."
     Damon did not hesitate, but leaned in to kiss Bryce.  Bryce could not
help it.  He checked to make sure no one was looking before returning the
kiss.
     "Let's go back to the dorm for a while," Damon suggested.
     So, Bryce practiced making out with another guy.  He was powerfully
drawn to Damon, but was unsure of himself, and awkward in his responses.
They sat on the side of his bed, held each other, kissed, and told each
other how much they appreciate each other.  But Bryce was not ready for
anything more at this time.  So, they made another trip to the University
Center, grabbed a few burgers for lunch, and then ambled over to the Sigma
Alpha Tau house for their initial "instruction" as pledges.
     It was then that all Curtis' threats came home.  He presided at the
meeting in the large room on the first floor.  He informed the pledges that
they were to come to the cook-out prepared to be at the beck and call of
the brothers.  He assigned various tasks, telling some pledges to be there
early to make sure the grills were hot enough when the party began.  Others
were to be on the door, as only members and their guests were invited to
this event, so someone had to check IDs against a list of the brothers.
There was also a gate into the back yard which had to be manned.
Eventually, he told the pledges, they were expected to recognize the
brothers, but this was too early in the semester to expect that.  Damon was
assigned the duty of checking on the brothers and guests, and offering to
fetch additional food if they wanted, while Bryce had a similar
responsibility with respect to drinks.  They could eat and drink themselves
only between seeing to the needs of the brothers and their guests.
Finally, Curtis informed them, there would be a general business meeting on
Tuesday evening at 7:30.  All pledges were to be there no later than 7:15
to receive their assignment to brothers who would be their mentors for the
pledge period, and further instructions.  Well, they sort of knew something
like this was coming, but the reality was a dash of cold water.
     One pledge complained that he had invited a date to the party.  With a
Groucho Marx type leer, Curtis replied, "The brothers will be happy to
entertain your date when you're busy."
     The pledge replied, "That's what I'm afraid of."
     This evoked general laughter.
     Returning to Clay Hall, griping all the way about their assignments
for the evening, Bryce and Damon retrieved some snack food from their
rooms, and moseyed into the lounge to watch the game between the Chicago
Cubs and the Pittsburgh Pirates.  Damon assured everyone who would listen
that it would be no contest.  The Pirates had not had a winning season
since 1993.  Maybe not, another student said, but they had won some games,
and the Cubs had lost some.  This led to some talk about statistics and
line-ups as the game preparations got going.  There was one guy who turned
out to be particularly obnoxious.  Whenever he wanted to denigrate a player
or a team, he use a homophobic term.  This player was gay, that one was a
fag, a team he did not like were a bunch of cock suckers.  He was a pretty
big, muscular guy, so no one wanted to pick a fight with him, but, after a
while, even guys who were obviously straight had enough of this.  Rather
than losing his cool, Bryce decided to have a little fun with the guy, who
was named Wayne.  The next time Wayne made a remark, saying the pitcher for
the Pirates looked like a queer, Bryce asked, "Just how is that, Wayne?
I'm not real sure what queers look like."
     "Aw, you know, man.  Kind of swishy, you know.  Prancing around, like
those guys in funny costumes who hop around on the stage at Christmas
time."
     "You got me there, Wayne.  I don't know what you're talking about,"
Bryce persisted.
     "You know.  Every Christmas somebody puts on this thing called a
bally."
     "A bally?"
     "Yeah.  Some kind of fancy dancing."
     "Oh, you mean a ballet?"
     "Yeah, that's what I said.  And they have these guys in tights who hop
around.  I think they call it ball breaker, or something.  Those guys don't
have any balls anyway, I guess."
     "Ball breaker?"
     "Something like that.  And it has to do with Christmas, and fairies
and stuff.  I mean besides the poofs who are doing the hopping around."
     "Could it be that you're talking about The Nutcracker?  That's the
name of a ballet," Bryce surmised.
     "Yeah.  Nut cracker, ball breaker, it's all a bunch of queers."
     "You seem to know a lot about this, Wayne.  How can you tell that all
those dancers, and that Pirates pitcher, are gay?"
     "Well, all you got to do is look at them.  I mean, Geesh.  Everybody
knows that queers go to ballys, and hop around on a stage like that, and
they walk funny 'cause they're always, you know, taking it up the ass, and
they talk with a lisp, and shake hands like a cold fish," Wayne insisted.
     "Gosh, Wayne, you sure know a lot about homosexuals.  I don't think I
ever met anyone who knew as much as you do.  Just how do you know all this,
anyway?" Bryce pushed.
     By this time, almost everyone in the room was listening to Bryce and
Wayne.  They knew what Bryce was doing, and knew that Wayne didn't have a
clue.  So, one of the other guys decided to hurry things along a bit.
     "Maybe Wayne knows so much because he spends all his time with gays."
     "Who me?" Wayne indignantly responded.  "No way!  I wouldn't be caught
dead in the same room with those guys."
     Bryce and Damon exchanged glances.
     "Well, it does make you wonder," Damon supplied.
     "Yeah, Wayne, you seem to know more than is completely normal, for a
straight guy, you know.  Kind of like special, inside knowledge," the other
tormentor insisted.
     "What are you guys saying?  You're out of your gourd, if you think
...."  Wayne jumped up, bothered.  He fretfully looked around the room.
The other guys were grinning at him.  "You guys are full of shit!" he
yelled.  "I'm out of here.  I didn't want to watch those poofs anyway."
     As Wayne departed, he was followed by raucous laughter.
     The Cubs won, four to two, so Damon was satisfied.
     After baseball there was a poker game, so Bryce and Damon stuck around
until it was time to leave for the fraternity house.  Several of the other
guys commented on Bryce's teasing of Wayne, and how dense the other guy
was.
     At 7:00 Bryce and Damon returned to the Sigma Alpha Tau house to put
in their first stint as pledges.  They were kept pretty busy, running
errands, making sure the brothers and their dates had all the food and
drink they wanted.  It was not totally impossible, and they did get to eat
and grab a few drinks along the way, but it was sure different than on
Friday, when they had been the guests of honor.
     At one point, Bryce was engaged in conversation with the brother who
had functioned as team captain in the soccer game on Saturday.  It turned
out, he was named McKinnon Campbell, and called Mack.  Mack obviously knew
his soccer, which Bryce realized from the game as well as from their
conversation.  But he was also a domineering brother.  As they were
standing about, four or five of them, discussing the game, Bryce attempted
to make a point with which Mack disagreed.  He solved that problem by
sending Bryce to fetch him a fresh beer.  Bryce felt he had been treated
unfairly, his point ignored simply because he was a pledge, but there was
nothing he could do about it, so he did as he was told, and said nothing.
     A little later, he was given an example of the really disagreeable
aspects of being a pledge.  The date of one of the brothers obviously had
too much to drink.  She was looking green about the gills, so the brother
tried to hurry her along, thinking he could get her upstairs and into his
bed.  Instead, as he was chivvying her across the assembly room, she
suddenly stopped, pushed him back, then leaned over and vomited.  The
brother was grossed out, worried mainly to make sure nothing got on him.
Tom Blankenship, the fraternity President, exerted his authority, detailing
Damon and another pledge to escort the woman back to her dorm.  Then, he
told Bryce to clean up the mess.  Bryce looked horrified, and also
uncertain about how to go about it.  Curtis came to his rescue, sort of.
He told Bryce to go out to the kitchen, and get two buckets, a stiff brush,
and a roll of paper towels.  Fill one bucket with warm water and Lysol.
Use the paper towels to scoop up the mess and put it in the empty bucket.
Use the brush to clean the spot on the carpet with the warm water and
Lysol, cleaning the brush along the way as needed.  Then flush both
buckets' contents down the toilet, flushing several times, and clean out
the buckets.  Bryce thought he would puke himself before he finished, but
he carried out his assignment.  Curtis came by and inspected the result.
     "Still want to join?" he goaded Bryce.
     Bryce simply glared at him in return.
     Damon and the other pledge returned, and reported to Blankenship that
the young lady had been returned to her dorm, where a neighbor undertook to
undress her and put her to bed.  The other pledge complained, "I thought
we'd at least get to do the undressing."
     Tom grinned.  "Oh, when escorting ladies duty's to be done, to be
done, the new pledge's lot is not a happy one, happy one," he replied,
singing it to the tune of "A Policeman's Lot is Not a Happy One" from The
Pirates of Penzance.
     The pledges were not allowed to leave the party early.  They had to
stay until the last guest was escorted home (or upstairs), and then were
told to clean up the most obvious messes, and come back the next afternoon
to do a final clean-up.  It was about two o'clock when Bryce and Damon were
finally dismissed.
     "Are you still going to get up at some ungodly hour and work out?"
Damon asked as they plodded back to the dorm.
     "You know, I just might skip it this morning," Bryce admitted.