CLOSET LOVER

                                                 Jack Sprat

     He was in my chem class; my age, nineteen, with a slim sexy body. I 
viewed him naked in my fantasy. I'm attracted to males. I'm gay, a closet gay. 
I would be completely rejected by my family and friends if they ever found 
out. It's my hard nagging secret.
 
     When I cruise, it is very clandestine. I don't cruise often. I hate 
cruising. I want to sleep with a real lover forever, but when the need for 
another male arises, I must find relief. 

     I'm always nervous when I'm invited to the apartment of a pickup. I never 
know his wants until we're inside and undressed. I keep an eye on my clothes 
in case I need to make a quick exit. Some have suggested and even tried to 
force me to take enemas, insertion of oversized dildos, bondage and water
sports. I have rapidly left, hurt, frustrated, and in tears. Is there any
way I can find a true, gentle lover? 

    One day, David, that's my chem partners name, announced that he was taking 
part in the upcoming gay parade. David gay? He'd said nothing like this 
before.  Did it slip out accidentally? Was he making a verbal hint? I felt I 
should find out. I'm sure David had no idea that I was attracted to him. 

     I saw to it that I was around him more and more, trying to get to know him 
better, and for him to get to know me. Soon we were having lunch together in 
the cafeteria and sharing non-sexual common interests. One day, we discussed 
movies. There was a box office hit in the next town. We decided to go. I 
picked David up in my car. The movie was great. Afterwards, we stopped for 
hamburger and fries. 

    Driving home, I parked outside his apartment and we talked about the 
show. I had to make a move. I put my arm around him. He did not push it away 
and moved in closer.  We sat and enjoyed each others warmth. 

   "Would you come in for a night-cap?", he asked. 

     We climbed the stairs to his apartment. I sat on his sofa as he 
disappeared into his kitchenette and prepared the drinks. They were a bit 
strong, but that was O.K. They were relaxing. The alcohol assisted my courage. 
I made eye contact. David's eyes met mine. I slowly moved closer to him and we 
kissed.  

     "Let's go to my bedroom," he quietly whispered.

     We slowly undressed each other, first shoes and socks, then shirt and 
undershirt. We embraced, rubbing our bare chests against each other, our hands 
moving to feel the others crotch. We unbuckled each others belt, our pants 
slipped down and we stepped out of them. Both standing in our white briefs, we 
kissed again, our hands massaging the others basket.  David slowly pulled my 
shorts down. I did the same to David. 

     David's cock  was beautiful, fully erect, supporting a red tip of 
beautiful design. It softly pulsated above his silky blonde crotch hair. I 
reached below and felt his sac, gently kneading two firm balls. His hand did 
the same to me. 

     We climbed into bed, lay on our sides, snuggled and kissed.  David put 
his leg over mine, opening his crotch so he could be fondled. We then moved to 
a 69. 

     David's tongue erotically moved around my tip while I did the same to 
his. God! what a lovely cock. A finger was pushed against my asshole. I spread 
my legs to help it slowly move in. I also slide my finger into his ass. We both 
came together, exchanging our hot cum, wiggling our finger in the others rectum
to tease out the last drops.

    We lay in each others arms. Warm air from David's lips blew against my 
ear. My hair was stroked and his soft hands gently massaged my whole body. So 
much flashed through my mind. I sobbed blissfully.   

     "I - I love it. How I need embrace and warmth, ....to be fondled, sucked 
and loved. I need to belong. I'm so lonesome. I feel so guilty hiding my true 
feelings. Must I continue to live my lie?" 

     David, snuggled closer, his fingers made gentle swirls over my body. I 
so wanted to keep this feeling of his tender loving. 

     David spoke softly. "I know," he said understandingly. "I was in the 
closet myself. The change was hard. Yes, I did lose friends but I made many 
more. I still have issues with my family but I have learned that is their 
problem. Now, I'm more relaxed and happier. I have the love I desire. I hope 
that someday you will take the risk. You will find it's worth it, and you'll 
no longer be so frightened or scared of the consequences once it is aired. You 
will be a new person, leading a real life, and you can openly express your 
love as you desire. 

     I lay quietly, David's words ringing through my mind. There was truth in 
what he said. I snuggled closer. 

                                  THE END