Date: Tue, 13 Aug 2002 08:28:49 -0700 From: Steve Thomas Subject: Colins-Story, Chapters 30 - 34 Well, Things seem to be going very sweetly for Colin, huh? Isn't that how life goes! Sweet one day and it falls apart the next. And when you think things are lost, it turns around! So let's see what's next in store for our hero! Thanks again for all your e-mails. Please don't stop! s4d@hotmail.com. Please write "Colin" in the subject line. Thanks! Steve Chapter 30 Thursday evening, just as Jake and I had gone to bed, the phone rang: "Hello?" "Hey, little brother!" "Bobby!!! What - how - er, where are you?" "I'm at Mom and Dad's! I was hoping you could come see me while I'm here. I have a favor to ask of you." "A favor? Well just ask, big bro! You know I will do whatever I can!" "Nope! I want to see you in person! Do you have any idea how I have missed you?" "Of course I do! I've missed you too!" "Not from what I've heard." "Oh. What have you heard?" Well if Mom or dad told him, I guess it's easier on me. "That you have a - special friend." "Did they tell you how special?" "Yeah." "Did they tell you the gender of my friend?" "Yeah." "Well, if you still want to see me, I guess that's a good sign." "Boy, Colin, you don't sound too - er - proud." "Bobby, what's to be pr - Hey we can discuss this later, eh? "When can you come? You can bring your friend if you want. I'd like to meet the guy who's taken my place in your heart!" Boy, he didn't know what he was saying! "Hey, why don't you come here? This weekend! There's plenty of room, and it is so much nicer in Santa Barbara than in L.A. Seriously I get sick from the smog every time I go there!" "I know! Well, let me smooth it over with Mom and Dad. I think they were kind of hoping to get us all together." "By `they', I assume you mean Mom?" "Well, yeah." "Bobby, Dad really is trying to be - more of a dad, you know. Have patience with him, okay?" "Okay, I'll plan on being there on Friday afternoon. When do you get off work?" "On Fridays, usually a little early - about 3:30-ish. HEY! Bring your running clothes and a swim suit, and we can meet at the beach by the campus and go for a run and swim after we get off." "Great! I'll plan to be there at about 3:30." "Better plan to leave early. The traffic out of L.A. is torturous on Friday afternoons!" "You'll wait for me if I get tied up, won't you?" "DUH! Omigod, I didn't realize how much I have missed you, Bobby!" "See yah! I love you!" "Luvu2! Bye" Turning to Jake, "That was Bobby!" "DUH! Should I be jealous?" "No, Sweetie, it's he who should be jealous," I said as I grabbed his furry butt. "Do that once more and you're toast!" I did it again. I wasn't exactly toast, but he did get me pretty hot. But by the time he was finished with me, He was like butter - or rather cream - in my mouth. SO good! SO tasty! SOOO hot! Friday was a short day, but it dragged by! I had plenty of deliveries, but I could not stop thinking about seeing Bobby! Finally, I was back from my last delivery at 2:30. Jake was waiting for me. "You all done, Jakey?" "Yup! Let's stop home first, so I can change." "You brought your stuff with you, didn't you?" "I want to look my best for my competition! Your brother is not easy to compete with." "Are you wanting to look good for him, or for me?" "You, of course!" "Not to worry on that account. You are the most delicious man I know. You look great!" I guess I convinced him. We headed for the beach and changed into our swimsuits. We were about 45 minutes early, so we ran for a few. Bobby got stuck behind a really bad accident, and was 2 hours late. He called my cell and told us, so at least we were warned, and didn't worry. I told Bobby to meet us at a special secluded cove that was more private. I told him what my car looked like, and that we would be in it. Jake and I did not want to waste any time! About two hours later, as he was fondling the little hair I had on my chest, and his tongue caressing my ear, "Hey, can a big brother horn in on some of that action?" "Shit!" Jake whispered in my ear. "Sorry! Maybe I should come back later?" "I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to hear that. Damn! Great first impression!" "It's okay, I have had some of that action myself." "Yeah," I said, but it was with a girl! This is hotter!" "You always did know just what to say - NOT! No really, I have been with a few guys at Penn State." "What?!!" I was appalled! "I would not have ever admitted it, except now - Don't tell dad! It would crush him! But not to worry. I really do prefer the girls! Hey get yourselves out here. It's still not too late to run, is it?" "Well, yeah, it kinda is. We're expected for dinner at six. I'm Jake." Jake got out of the car and shook Bobby's hand. "You go with your brother, Little One. I'm sure you'd like to talk." We were only 5 minutes from home, so we didn't have too much time to talk. Bobby said, "Wow, you know how to pick `em, Little Bro! He is CUTE!" When we got there, it was only 15 minutes till dinnertime, so we hurried upstairs to change. Bobby came with us. When Jake and I stripped and headed for the shower, Bobby said, "Hey! Can I come too?" This was getting almost spooky. We each positioned ourselves under our separate showers. Just when I was all soaped up, Bobby said, "Need your back washed, Bro?" I had forgotten that we did that for each other all the time. "Uh," I said, looking apologetically at Jake, "Sure." He then blew both Jake and I away. He came over and with me all soapy, he grabbed me and hugged me close, from behind and said, "God, I have missed you, Colin!" I felt so bad for Jake. He joked about being jealous of my brother, but there is often truth to most joking. I was looking straight in his eyes as I said, "Come here, sweetie, and get on my other side!" He needed no coaxing. Here I was all soaped up, standing in between my two favorite people in the world! I was embarrassed and in heaven at the same time. Bobby's hands were still on my chest, and he rubbed them up and down both Jake's torso and mine. Both of us were up and hard. I could feel Bobby was too! "Where do you expect this to go, Bobby?" Jake said, looking Bobby in the eyes. "Nowhere, really. It's just been so long since I've seen my brother. I have to say, you are a definite bonus to the deal!" Mr. Smith hollered in the bedroom door, "Hurry, you guys". No one thought to lock the door. Luckily he did not come into the bathroom! Jake stumbled and almost fell we sprang apart so quickly! We finished bathing at our own shower stations, and dressed and reported for dinner. Dinner was special, as I expected. Mrs. Smith and Etta always go out of their way when anyone special is here. They served shrimp curry over rice, with a nice side Caesar salad and broccoli with hollandaise. Etta had made a sponge cake, divided it into three layers, and layered ample crushed fresh strawberries and whipped cream in between layers. She frosted it with whipped cream, and decorated it with perfect strawberry halves. It was a perfect end to a perfect dinner! A lot of small talk went on at the dinner table. The family was not as - ruthless - as when I first met them, for some reason. Even Etta seemed subdued. As we were leaving the table, Etta whispered in my ear, "You betta send you braw-ther on his way. No way you two gonna hurt my Jakey!" I was stunned! How did she know ANYTHING! I quietly assured he not to worry. I don't think I was very convincing. We did some more polite conversation, and when we headed out of the family room, Etta announced, "I make reddy da guest room DOWNSTAIRS fo da brah-ther. "No thanks Etta," Jake said, he will stay up with us!" It was said with a kind of finality that even Etta could not argue with. I can't even remember what we watched in the Smith's theatre, but it did not matter. We talked almost all the way through it anyway. We got caught up on what was going on in our lives for the last year. Bobby seemed to be holding back somehow. When we headed off to bed, Bobby specifically asked to sleep in the middle. The super king was plenty big enough for all of us. I felt uncomfortable. Jake looked a little shaken - and suspicious. As soon as the lights were out, Bobby spoke up. "I wanted to have Colin all to myself tonight-" "I can go into the guest room." I doubt Bobby heard the disappointment and hurt in his voice. "No, actually I'm kind of glad it worked out this way. Colin, I wanted to ask you to be my best man. I'm getting married next spring, and-" "Bobby! This is so great! Dad must be so happy!" "Let me finish before you start celebrating. It's just that-" "You ARE marrying a GIRL, aren't you?!!" "*Sigh*, Yes. It's not that at all." He turned to Jake: "will you tell your lover to shut up and let me finish!" "Sorry, Bobby," I said, "But this is-" "Anyway, I have a couple things I would like your input on. Both of you." "Shoot Bro!" I loved that Jake called him "Bro"! "Colin, Jake, I am - I can't - I don't know how to talk to Dad or Susie. That's her name. No, let me finish. First, she doesn't think she wants kids. Dad made such a big deal about how I was his only chance for grandchildren, and someone to carry on the name! As if Thompson needs any help to be carried on! There must be hundreds and thousands of Thompsons! How can I tell him? "That can't be as bad as hearing that I am gay! But more importantly, how do YOU feel about not having children? Do you want them?" "I - I am so confused, Little brother!" "Bobby, do you mind if I say something?" Jake inserted. "Anything! I need help from wherever I can get it." "Well, I think before you go getting married, this is a pretty important thing to consider. If you want kids and she does not, it will always be a problem. It won't go away. It won't get better. It will only get worse, from all I have heard." "I agree with him, Bobby. Are you sure about this girl? I mean -" "Am I sure I love her? Yes!" "But is love going to be enough as the years go by and you are disappointed that you have no kids?" Jake said. "I - I don't know. I just know that I want her so much!" "I am not one to be advising you, maybe, Bobby. Look at me - us!" "But your advice makes sense, somehow." He sounded devastated. "Bobby?" I said. "Yeah?" "How do you feel this moment?" "Not good - empty, I guess. I feel like- like crying!" "So- why aren't you?" "I don't know. I - it's not easy in front of-" "In front of the guy who loves you the most in the world?" "Well, I-" "And what was your excuse last night and last week? Just let it go. Give yourself permission - to cry. I can feel it, why can't you?" "I CAN feel it! Oh God, Colin, I - I-" Then he broke down and started sobbing. "You really love this girl a lot, huh?" I said. "Yes, I do! How can I live without her?" "Believe me, you can. I have done it. Jake has done it, and we are very much alive and happier than ever. You have to decide! Actually it sounds like you already have. This is not about disappointing Mom and Dad, is it?" "No," he said too quickly, "Well not totally." "I think you better give this a lot of thought, Bro!" Jake said. "Sleep on it for awhile. It's probably going to break her heart, too, but better now than 5 years or more down the line when you have grown to depend on each other even more, and it may be too late for kids." "You said there were a couple things you wanted to ask us about." I reminded him. "Oh, yeah. The other doesn't seem as important as it did at first." "So?" "Well, I wonder how important it would be to tell a - prospective fiancée - That I am attracted to - guys?" "You really are?" I said, still blown away by that concept. "Aren't you still attracted to girls?" "We're not talking about me, but actually I have not thought about it much since I decided to be with Jake." "Well?" he insisted. "Well, I suppose that it doesn't change, does it?" "I wonder sometimes. I know this older guy who is a psych professor at Penn State. He is gay, and he thinks when he was young and virile, he could just as well shagged a knothole in a fence. Does this mean he is attracted to knot holes? Or fences? I don't think so. His point was that a young man, if he is immersed in a society which is straight oriented, and which is bent on making every young man straight-no-matter-what, it would be easy for a boy or younger man to think he is attracted to women, when what he is really attracted to is - orgasms!" "And your - his point would be?" "That there may be a lot of guys who marry, have children and all, thinking they are attracted to women because they were able to screw them. When in reality, they could have screwed anybody - or anything - as you know most boys can - and DO!" "So, big brother, how do YOU know if you are REALLY more attracted to women?" "I - I guess- I don't. At this point, it's kind of a personal decision, I think. I just think if I am a little attracted to a woman, then I can have the happiness of a family. But I really do feel like I am more attracted to girls than guys. Now back to my question." "Oh, yeah. What was your question?" "Is it important to tell her that I am at least somewhat attracted to guys?" "Probably," said Jake. "Why?" "All I know is that we don't have many secrets in my family, and that we seem to be one of the happiest families I know of. If a girl knows from the beginning, she doesn't have to deal with it later - and she WILL know at some point." "But what if I told her and she rejected me because of that?" "Better to find out now, don't you think?" Jake was making a lot of sense, as I could understand it. "So, big brother, it seems you have two heavy decisions to make. First, do you want to marry someone who does not want children, and then if you do, do you want to tell her of your strong attraction to men. That's a lot to think about." "So what do you guys think?" "I think it is something you have to decide for yourself," Jake said. "I know, but - what would you do?" "It's easy to speak when it's not me who is on the hot seat." "Yeah, but you may be thinking a lot more objectively than I am." "I'll guarantee it! Okay here's my input: I think you should drop this babe, because I think it is very obvious that you will not be happy without children, your parents notwithstanding. And I think also you definitely should tell whoever you get serious with - about your attraction to guys. If you love her, you owe her that much, I think." "Thanks! I will consider your advice. No promises either way though. Now I have a question or rather a request for you, Jake." "Shoot." "Would you mind if I kiss my bro goodnight?" "Hell no!" "I mean on the mouth!" "Fuck yes I care! Well, I guess if he uses mouthwash before kissing me-" "Whoa!" I said, "Is anyone going to ask me?" "I just have never-" he paused, "I've never kissed a guy before. And who better to kiss than my brother?" "You have never kissed a guy and yet you think you are attracted to them?" I said. "How - what the hell-?" "I've played around with guys in the dorms, but we never kissed." "Well," I said, "Do you want a kiss, or a KISS?" "Let me have the works!" "The works." "Yup!" I looked at Jake, a little worried, and he nodded. So I rolled up on top of my older brother, when he was 23 and I was almost 21 years old, and I gently started to kiss him. I softly probed his mouth with my tongue, and when it was open, I pushed in and lovingly licked at his tongue. He moaned a little, and then I could feel that the obvious stiffening between our lower abdomens was arousing him. I was too! I jumped off. "That good enough, Big Brother?" "Man! Who taught you how to kiss like that?" "You did! You never showed me. But you told me!" "I know, but it - it never felt like- I never felt it like that before!" "Sounds like you may have something else to decide, Bobby!" Jake said. I woke up the next morning sandwiched between two very virile men, both of them clamped to me like they were afraid I might get away, and both with raging - well, I'm gonna call them "pee-woodies". ­­­­­­­­­­­ Two weeks later: The phone rang: "Hi Dad." "What did you do to Bob when he was up there?" "Why?" "He broke up with that Susie girl." "Did he tell you why?" "He said she does not want a family and he does." "Is that good enough reason?" "Yeah! I actually am really - well, relieved is all I can think to say. Maybe someday I WILL have some grandchildren." "No fault of mine, huh?" "Oh! I didn't mean that, Colin!" "It's okay, Dad, really" Chapter 31 Both Jake and I were strangely quiet about my brother's visit, for a good month. I say a good month for a couple reasons. For one it was to emphasize it was at least a month. And besides that, we both seemed to be energized to a further degree than normal, after Bobby left. We ran faster, longer, swam harder, and loved more intensely. I recognized something was different, but did not really understand it until sometime later. In the middle of September, Bobby called: "Hi, Baby brother!" "Hi Bobby! What a nice surprise! What is the occasion?" "I just wanted to talk a bit. I enjoyed my visit with you so much! I broke it off with Suzy. I -" he choked a bit, "It was harder than I thought it would be." "Are you okay, Bro?" "I think I will be," he said clearing his throat hard. "I told her how important it was to me to have children, and she was adamant that she did not want to share her life with anyone but me." More choking. "Bobby, are you crying?" "Colin, I am so damned fucked up over this! I don't know what to do. What did you do, when you - lost - your first guy - Andrew, was it?" "Aaron. I was very hurt by that, Bobby. I came home for a couple weeks with Mom and Dad. Mom knew what was going on, but she could not really speak openly with me about it, since I had not admitted anything yet. Dad was not interested in knowing. But they both knew I was hurting. Just being with them helped, I suppose. I don't suppose you are in any position to make a visit home are you? You are on the same boat as we are - new job and all" Bobby graduated with a degree in architecture, and had been accepted with a very prestigious architecture firm in Pittsburgh, PA. "I - I don't know if I can - if I want to - stay here now. I am about ready to do some post grad work while I work. I wonder-" "What, bro?" "Do you know if UCSB have an architectural department?" "Well, it is not an architecture school, but they may offer some post grad stuff. Why?" "Colin, I did not realize how much I missed you, with all the busy-ness of school, and starting a new job. But when I was there in July, I - Colin I don't like being so far away from my little brother!" I could hear he was on the verge of crying. "Bobby, is there an office of your firm here in Santa Barbara?" "I don't - I think there may be!" "How well do they like you?" A funny question, but important nonetheless. "Actually my boss is very impressed with my ideas." "Do you think he would let you go, if there was an opening here?" "I don't know, but if not, there ARE other architecture firms. Especially in Santa Barbara. See what you can find out, K?" "I'll do my best Bro! It would be so cool to have you nearby!" "Colin, I love you so much! You are definitely my favorite brother!" "Well, that says a lot!" "You are also my favorite person in the world! Does that say enough?" "I love you too, Bobby. And I would be lying if I didn't say that I am very excited at the prospect of you moving here!" "I'll call you in a few, Little Brother, K?" "K! Bye!" I turned to Jake. "That was Bobby." "Duh! Sounds like he may be moving here. That would be great!" He said a little too enthusiastically. I may have misread his enthusiasm. I thought he was covering for a little bit of jealousy. "I guess it would. He needs to be around family right now. He's hurting pretty bad." I said. "You know there is a small architecture firm in the same group of building as we work in. I think they are looking for a couple associates. Maybe they would be interested in a novice." "Really! That may be perfect him, if he can't get on with the Santa Barbara branch of the company he works for already." "Hey! Maybe he can stay with us!" Did Jake really say that? "Yeah!!" I said, way sarcastically, "Really smart! Exactly what I want: my older brother in my bedroom, listening to me make love to my man!" "OH! You know, little one, that was really hot what you did for him!" "What?" "When you kissed him!" "You thought that was hot?" "Well - YEAH! I wanted a piece of it!" "No - no - NOOO! Are you suggesting what I think you are?" "What?" "Don't act so innocent, ass hole! You would like a threesome with my brother!" "Well, he IS very hot!" "You're sick!" "I'm sick? You were the one who kissed him!" "I kissed him because he asked me to!" "Are you going to tell me you didn't `get into it'? I was there, remember?" "But he's my brother, for craps sakes! You never ever mentioned you would be interested in a threesome before!" I never thought about it before I saw you kiss your brother. It was so hot! There was a kind of passion that was thick enough to cut with a knife!" "You're serious, aren't you?" "Well?!!" "You're sick, aren't you?" "Don't try to tell me you did not like it!" "I - I guess I did." "You know you did! Almost as much as this!" He grabbed me and kissed me! I closed my eyes and saw Bobby kissing me back. I forced open my eyes and looked into Jake's. I guess I looked panicky. "What is it, Little One? Can't get him out of your mind?" "I can't get YOU out of my mind! You were right there, reading my mind, asshole!" "C'mere, asshole!" He kissed me again, thrusting his tongue hard down my throat. I clutched on to him like a vice, and kissed him back for all I was worth! He picked me up, carried me to the bed, threw me down, and then stepped two steps to the door and locked it. He was back on me in less than two seconds. He tore my clothes off, then his own, and jumped on top of me with a vengeance! He kissed me deep and long, and I did not resist. I kissed him back like it was my last kiss! He reached into the side table drawer and pulled out the lube. He put a glob on his fingers and punctured through my tight sphincter violently. I had to regroup and see if he was angry or what. But he was not. He was just sooooo turned on! He spread my hole open and forced his finger up to my prostate. I about came on the spot! He then entered me with his turgid, throbbing member, while kissing my mouth with so much urgent passion, it was electric! I was on fire myself. I almost lost consciousness and closed my eyes, and again saw Bobby on top of me, I momentarily panicked, then just let it happen. It was not Jake, but Bobby up there, screwing my brains out! I think I even called out his name. I'm not sure, but Jake says he did not hear it, later when we discussed what happened. He said he was glad he didn't. Me too! I don't even know who came first. I don't think I ever came so hard, fully or voluminously. It was like an out of body experience for us both. When we were finished, Jake flopped over beside me. We held hands as we went to sleep. Chapter 32 My eyes were still closed. I was in heaven. His hands seemed to be all over me at once. His tongue was all over my body, in my mouth, his teeth grazing my nipples so tenderly. My eyes fluttered, and shut again. His warm breath blew in my ear, and his tongue tenderly tickled the very sensitive outer ear. He then, without warning, jammed his cock into my anus with so much force and so fast it sent burning spasms all through my body. He just kept thrusting harder and harder, faster and faster, as he brought me to a terrifying brink of - of - of destruction! I felt as if at any moment, if I came, my insides would explode! As his hard, unforgiving tongue forced it's way down my throat, my eyes flew open. The face in front of me was strangely familiar. Then - NOOOOO! It couldn't be! It was - it was - nooooo, noooo! It was my Dad's face! I let out a scream. "No, nooo, NOOOOO! Daaaaa-. aaaa - aaaa" "Colin, Sweetie! Wake up, it's me, Jake!" I was shaking all over! I opened my eyes and screamed again, sure it was my dad! "IT'S ME LITTLE ONE, it's me, it's OKAY! You're SAFE! You're safe." He held me gently at first, then more firmly to reassure me. "Oh, God, Jakey, it was so real! So horrible!" "What was it, Sweet Boy? Can you remember?" "Omigod, Jakey, it must have been the violent way you took me last night! That was so hot, and yet I've never experienced anything like that before!" "It was only moments ago, not last night, sweetie. What were you dreaming, Little sweet one? Can you remember any of it?" "Any of it? It stands out as the most real dream I've ever had! I WANT to forget it and I can't." "Maybe if you tell me it will help." So I told him. Every detail. How it started out so wonderful, and then turned - horrible! I told him how I had closed my eyes and it was like Bobby was there. The line between dream and reality, I could not figure out. I recounted the whole experience, and Jake told me I was right on about the real experience until the part of falling asleep holding hands. He was almost asleep when I started screaming. "What do you suppose made you dream that, Sweetheart?" I was still trembling. I took in and then let out a huge shuddering sigh, like a child trying to stop crying. Then I started to sob like a 5 year-old. He just held me for about 5 minutes. "Jakey, it was like my dad was - punishing me for - for - fanaticizing about my brother or something - ah - ahhh - mlrgl-" I sprang up from the bed and just made the toilet in time. I barfed my insides out. Jake was right there with me, holding me up, fondling my head, my chest. We were about to get into the shower, when a knock came at the door. Jake answered it and came back. We got into the shower. Jake made sure I was all right to stand on my own, and then washed me from head to toe, including my hair. He turned the water a little cooler and rinsed me off in the cool refreshing water. Then he just stood under the water with me for a few minutes, and held me close. I felt so weak and vulnerable. Jake seemed to sense this, and did not try to take advantage of the situation to gratify himself. He dried me off and then himself. Once I was in somewhat better control of myself, I asked, "Who was at the door?" "My Dad." "Omigod, we made so much noise, before AND after my dream!" "It's okay, Sweetie. I just said you had a very realistic nightmare. He accepted that." We then went back to bed. I was still a little shaky. Jake just gently held me. I stared up at the ceiling. The moon was shining directly on my face. Jake said, "It's okay now, My darling boy. You can go back to sleep. I'm here." "I'm afraid to close my eyes, Jakey!" "Look over here." I looked over into the most loving eyes and face. "Just memorize what you see in my face. " He had a look of total love. I looked at every feature, then slowly closed my eyes. I could see only my lover, and his wonderful smile as I drifted off. I dreamed of the beach; of Jake and I laughing; of Bobby and Jake and I chasing each other in the sand, and out into the water. I dreamed of being warmly held with one each on each side of me. It was a very warm comforting dream. When I woke up, Jake was laying there, watching me through loving eyes. I kissed him. "That looked like a better dream, Sweetie!" "It was!" "Do you want to share it?" "I - I can't quite remember it." I lied. I wasn't quite ready to admit something I was not even sure about myself! Chapter 33 Bobby's company was not interested in moving him to Santa Barbara. He quit on the hopes of finding a job out here. When he got here, he was without job or a place to stay, so I relented, for a limited time to let him stay with us. Mr. Smith was very perceptive - as usual. He offered Bobby the guestroom. This worked well as far as I was concerned, because now Bobby was responsible to Mr. Smith and not me, and it gave Jake and me the privacy I thought we deserved. Bobby did not take long finding a job. It wasn't with the firm in our office building, but it was about a block away, so it was close enough. One day about a month after he came to live with us, Jake had to work unusually late on some quarterly tax returns for one of his larger clients. I called Bobby, and asked if I could ride home with him. He got off about a half hour after me, so I had plenty of time to walk to the place he worked. We stopped off at the beach for a quick run and swim on the way home. When we got home, it was in plenty of time to shower and get ready for dinner. Bobby went to his room and in about three minutes, he knocked at my door. I let him in. "Okay if I shower with you, Bub?" he said. "Uh, sure. What's up?" "Nothin'. I just wanted to talk a little." "K." I was already on my way to the showers when he arrived, and he was in his towel, so he followed me into the shower room. When we got in there, with the water temperature adjusted the way we liked it, I said, "So, what did you want to talk about, bro?" "This." He said, as he bared his right palm to me, and walked toward me. I looked puzzled, and was about to say something when he put his palm gently on my face and his other hand came around the back of my head, and he pulled me into a kiss - on the lips. I pulled away, "Hey! What're you-?" "I just wanted to feel again what it feels like -please, Little bro?" He didn't wait for an answer and put one arm around my waist and the other over my shoulder, and kissed me again. This time I - responded. Jake was right! My big brother was very hot! What I never considered before was how I had always wanted this. It seemed so wrong, but in that moment it felt so right. As I responded, the arm around my waist lowered and he grabbed my butt and pulled me up into his groin, and my pecker jumped up to meet him. I wrapped my arms around my big brother, and squeezed his butt and his neck at the same time, and we were kissing deeply and passionately. Then I saw him out of the corner of my eye. Jake! I was crushed! What could I say to make this right? Jake spoke up first. "Hey, is this a private party, or can I join in? You guys look SOOO hot!" I didn't know what to say. This seemed so wrong, but I could not refuse my lover, either! He wrapped himself around the other side of - BOBBY! Jake was still in his boxers, but his member was sticking out the top. Bobby could not see what was behind him, but his hand that was on my butt, went around behind him, and grabbed Jake's rod with a vengeance. He immediately let go, as his eyes opened wide! Bobby stepped away from us both, and gaped at Jake's bent-the-wrong-way-dick. "Omigod, Jake did I hurt you?" Jake was pretty quick on the uptake. He grabbed his dick and started to howl and cry: "Owwwww! Omigod! Ah - ah - owwwwch!" Bobby turned white, and looked like he wanted to shit a brick, and then both Jake and I let loose: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha hee hee hee ho ho ho ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "What?!!!" Bobby said, still shaken quite a bit. "Oh, Bobby," I said, "I wish you could have seen your face!" "Priceless!" Jake said, "I've never quite gotten anyone so good!" Bobby looked from Jake's face to mine. We were still giggling. "Assholes!" "Aw, don't be that way, Bobby," Jake said, "here-" and he kissed Bobby hard on the mouth. I was really feeling - strange about that! Bobby really got into it. Jake looked at me while he was kissing Bobby, with a huge grin on his face. "Okay, recruits, put your tools away and get dressed for dinner!" Jake said. After dinner, Bobby and I had homework to do. We both set up in Jake's and my room. Jake was extremely restless. He kept wandering in and out of the room. Finally I was finished studying for the night, and Jake was so glad! We started talking among ourselves, and trying not to bother Bobby. But bothering him was all we were doing. He couldn't stand not being in on out conversation, while he was in the room. "Hey, Guys, I'm gonna go into my own room. I can't concentrate while you guys sit over on the bed and whisper!" "Hey," Jake said, "No need. We will go into your room and talk. While we were in Bobby's room Etta knocked the door. I said, "Come in!" She opened the door cautiously, then looked puzzled. It's the first time I think I ever saw her without that knowing look on her face. Jake and I were lounging on Bobby's bed. She looked at one and then the other, and finally, "Where you brah-ther, Baybee?" "He's up in our room." Jake answered "He had some studying left to do, and we were distracting him." "Just betcha you were!" she said, the knowing look fully returned. "He another Boy's boy?" I think this was the first time that I ever saw Jake get mad at Etta. "Etta, if he is or if he isn't is none of your business! Why did you come up here?" he demanded. "To bring him clean towels," She sniffed. "Look like he neva use de other ones!" "He showered in my room," Jake retorted, "and THAT'S none of your business either!" Etta demurely backed out and closed the door. "What was that all about?" I asked "Sometimes she thinks she is a member of the family!" "I thought she was." "Sometimes I don't like - her nosiness. At least she knows to keep her mouth shut when I let her know." "What in the fuck are you ranting on about, Jakey?" "My parents would not be happy to hear any hint about any "musical beds" being played up here. "Wha-aat?" "I guess I am feeling a little sensitive about our shower incident. It was fun! But my parents would not see it that way." "You think? What would they think? That maybe in some way it may have been a little twisted? A little - immoral?" "Don't you go getting so sarcastic. You were the one kissing your brother so - passionately!" "Okay, let's not get into a fight about this, K? But I do think we should have some ground rules - some boundaries-" "Oh, you want boundaries? You can kiss your brother - and by the way, that's not all that was going down there! You can love it up with your own brother, and I just get to be a bystander? Is that what you call boun-" "Jake, stop! That's not what I was saying." I tried to remain calm. "I mean, I think I went too far. Bobby went too far. The whole situation should not have happened! I just think we should - discuss it - all three of us - and set some rules. No more shenanigans between the 3 of us. "And the two of you?" "That either." "You know you have a hard time saying `no' to your big brother." "I know, but-" "Colin, sweetie," his demeanor changed, he continued, "I see it a little differently than you." "Huh?" "Society HAD to put some strict rules on male-female relationships. It made for too much confusion for parents to have "open relationships". So rules were made. Look how much chaos has happened because these are so loosely observed these days. Fewer than half the families even in the developed countries of the world have 2 parents in them. And even then, only about half of them are both original parents. It makes for confusion for kids." "I agree with that, but - where exactly are we going with this conversation?" "Between same sex partners there can be no chance of pregnancy - at least by mistake - so an open relationship is not so bad." "Is that what you are telling me? You would like to have an `open relationship'?" I said incredulously. ""NO! " "You wouldn't?" "No - not exactly." "Okay. What `exactly' are you getting at." I said, my voice openly dripping with sarcasm. "I'm just patiently sitting here waiting for an explanation." Well, maybe it wasn't too patiently! "Colin, I just am saying - I think - if we agree to it - in advance - why can't we have some - fun - with someone - er - like your brother?" Bobby came into the room, unannounced. "Hey guys! What's up?" "Jake wants to have sex with you!" I could not get the iciness out of my voice. "You mean all three of us? Great! When and where?" He said, wide eyed and enthusiastically. "He's overreacting, Bobby." Said Jake. "I - Damn you, Colin! This was not the way to handle this!" Jake left the room quickly, Bobby ran after him. "Bobby! Stop!" I called after him. "This is mine to fix - not yours. K?" I entered our room. Jake was on the bed, turned toward the window. "Jake," I started softly. "That was not fair! I don't know your brother that well. You completely humiliated me in front of him!" This time I stayed calm. "I know. I'm sorry. I just can't - I don't - know - if I want - that." "Don't want what?" Jake did not cry as easily as I did, and he wasn't now. But he was close. "An `open' relationship." "I never considered it before. But doesn't it make some sense? I'm not talking about US doing it - except maybe with Bobby. I mean we've already been so close. Sleeping, in the shower. Obviously, he wants to. Just for the fun of it?" "I just don't-" I sat on the bed. "I know it turned you on, Little one. I could see it in your eyes, and in your - body." "Of course it turned me on! A virile male body next to mine, touching from stem to stern! I just am not convinced it is `okay'". "What can I do to convince you?" He said, barely touching my hand. "Well, that's definitely a better start than a few minutes ago." He gently lifted my hand off the bed and tugged on it, pulling it up to his lips. He kissed the tips of my fingers. I responded with the slightest moan. He sucked on and then deep throated my index finger. I let out a small sigh, and a bigger moan. With my fingers still at his lips, he looked up into my eyes and smiled ever so slightly, kind of a sad smile. God! Re was irresistible! With my other hand, I softly caressed his forehead with the back of my fingernails. "Jakey, I love you so much! You have a magical power over me." "I don't know about magic, but I love ONLY you, Little One." "I know about your magic. Suppose you could work some of it on this?" I said looking down at the protrusion in the front of my trousers." He could. And did! I decided that if he wanted to include Bobby in some of our sex, for fun, I could handle it. I did not let myself dwell on it, or think too deeply about it. Because deep down, I knew how I really felt about it. Chapter 34 The guesthouse was finished on time, and we moved in to it. Bobby found a place not too far away. Life was getting into a comfortable rut. Bobby would often run and swim with us after work, and occasionally he would join us for dinner at the house. We were very careful that any 3-way "playing" we did was very discreet. We NEVER did it at home. It was either at the beach or at Bobby's. He sometimes came back and showered with us. Jake insisted on a shower like his old room in the guesthouse. We had privacy there, but we did not want to raise any family eyebrows. I was worried about Bobby. He wasn't finding any new friends - or more to the point, "A" new friend. I mentioned this to Jake. His only comment was that I should chill out. We were having fun, weren't we? I told him that Bobby needed to find someone to love. So an opportunity arose to talk to Bobby. We were in the guesthouse living room. Jake was working late more and more, so it was not unusual for us to be without him. I started the conversation: "Bobby, I'm a little worried about you." "How come, Little Brother?" "It seems like since you have me and Jake for your sexual outlet, you are content to just let it stay that way. I think you need to find a new friend." "A new `friend?" "A new love interest." "Colin, for as long as I can remember I have practically worshipped you. You are so - so - great looking, and really all I ever wanted. You never went through that awkward stage that most kids do. You have always been what I wished I was." "That's how I always felt about you, Bobby. You're my big brother! I'm just the little kid!" "Colin, I am in love with you! I just can't imagine loving anyone else like I do you." "But-" "And not only that, I love Jake too. Not like I love you, but I have never felt so loved or accepted in all my life as when I am with you guys." "I never ever would have foreseen this scenario. I always looked up to you. You were the one who was always there to rescue me, to teach me how to act, to get me dates. My first room mate asked me if I never masturbated with you. I told him you were my idol! I couldn't do that in front of the one I worshipped!" "I can't believe you are saying those things. I felt about the same with you. I was supposed to be the example. I couldn't do that in front of you! I SOO wanted to show you certain things, but you were my little brother, whom I loved more than life itself. When I was doing it with my friends, I felt so guilty, and wanted so much to share that part of me with you. But I just couldn't. So I did a lot with my buddies when you weren't looking. "You're kidding! I always looked and was so curious in the shower room at school, but I never could bring myself to approach anyone else! And no one ever did to me!" "You were MY idol, Little Brother. You could do no wrong. As far as I could see, you DID no wrong- and you DIDN"T!" He was crying now. "How could I have known that you - that you were -that maybe you would have wanted me in the same way I always wanted you?" I wrapped my arms around him. "I DIDN'T want you in that way, Bobby." He looked incredulous - and hurt. "Well, I did, but it was just wrong - WRONG! So I buried those feelings deep down." "But it can't be any more wrong than what we are all doing now. And is it any less wrong than what you and Jake do, and what I did with some of my frat buddies?" "YOU DID WHAT?" "Oh! I guess I never told you. We played around a little. A LOT of them do, you know." "Yeah, I know. My second year the other three of the guys in my room were all in a gay frat." "Sig Phi?" "Yeah, but how-?" "It's nationwide. I noticed it here, but I've have no desire to-" "I think that's the problem. You think you have all you need now so why look elsewhere. What about the idea of children you were so hot on when you dumped Suzy?" "Oh." "Do you still want that?" "Yeah, I think so, but there is plenty of time-" "Is there? I'm not so sure." I didn't realize I was still holding him. And as hard as I was trying to focus and make some sense of the situation, I was still feeling aroused. Bobby could feel it too. "I guess I'm not so sure either," he said, "but I know I love you and I know you love me, and I know that you and I both are-" And he caressed the stiffening bulge under my jeans. I flinched a little, and he put his lips on mine, and forced his tongue in my mouth. I melted. Jake was right. I could not resist my big brother! All thoughts of resistance went out the window. He looked at me with guarded eyes, and when he saw that I was willing, he pushed me down on the couch, and kissed me deeper and was humping me hard through our clothes. I was pushing back with equal pressure. I grabbed at his hardness, and started to rub it up and down. He unbuttoned his jeans and let it out. Then he liberated my own throbbing mass. I was kissing his mouth and we were both jacking each other slowly and in sync. The door popped open, and Jake came bursting in. "Sweetie, I brought us some-? What? OH! Excuse ME!" And he backed out and closed the door. I sprang from the couch and ran for the door, pulling my pants up as I ran. I swung open the door and hollered after him, but he was in his car and he sped down the driveway. "I think you better go." I said, chagrinned. "Sorry, Bud!" "I know. Me too!" I finished buttoning my pants, put my shoes on and ran out to my car. I didn't know where to go, but I had to find him. I drove to the beach we always went to, but he was not there. I drove all over wherever I knew we had been together, but could not find him. When I arrived home, it was well after dark, and Bobby hadn't left. "Did you find him?" "I thought you were going home." "Did you find him?" "No." "Do you want me to help you look?" "No. He'll come back when he's ready." "I'll stay here with you." "No!" I'm not going to leave you like this!" "That's exactly what you ARE going to do. I don't want you here when he gets home!" Much later, I know it was after midnight, he came lumbering in. He was drunk as a skunk! He was laughing and talking about how he had learned some new things to show me and Bobby! I got him to stop long enough to ask him, "Where were you? I was so worried!" "I went to the Rainbow Club." "You're kidding?" Why hadn't I looked there! It was not a club. It was a park where you could get an easy pick up. We never went there! "Did you - did you find someone?" "Oh yeah!" He said. "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!!! Hee hee hee hee! I found several! They loved my bent banger! Ha ha ha ha! And they had some pretty talented meat too!" "Jake! Focus a little! Did you have - protection?" "Protection?" He said, sounding confused. "OH THAT! No we had wild and wonderful unprotected sex. Hee hee hee hee! I had three very talented and very large logs up my ass! Hee hee hee hee!" "Jake!" I yelled. "Go to bed!" It was like I turned off a light switch. He flopped on to the bed, fully clothed and passed out. I undressed him. I was wishing I hadn't. He was not lying. He was a mess. His butt was still oozing the white liquid, mixed with blood, and his pants were a mess. His bent tool was shriveled, but even in that condition, I could see that it was raw from abuse. I cried. I slept on the couch. Actually all I did was lie on the couch. When the alarm went off, I went in and made coffee and brought some to Jake. "Time to get up, Jakey." I had lots of time to think while I lay awake all night on the couch. I could not blame him, any more than myself. How could I have been so stupid! I tried to be as gentle as I could. "Wha -" He tried to open his eyes. "It's time to get up and go to work, Jakey baby." "Oh! It's you," he said as recognition and the realization of where he had been and what he had done hit him, "Oh my god! Sweetie, I am so sorry! How did I get home? How much did I-" "You drove home - somehow you didn't kill yourself - and yes, You told me everything - or at least enough." "Oh Sweetie Pie, how can you ever forgive-" "It's me who needs to be forgiven, Jakey. I started this by giving in to my brother. No, I'm not blaming him. He was only doing what he felt was best for our relationship. We'll talk about this more later. Let's get you into the shower!" I dragged him out of bed, and into the shower. I made it hot. That helped a lot. He had a raging headache, and he found he could hardly sit, and his Mr. Bentley was pretty tender too. I washed everything as carefully and tenderly as I could. I helped him get out to work. I skipped school that day. I did show up for work in the afternoon. All my classes were in the morning, so I could keep working. They let me cut down to 4 hours a day, and hired another guy from the university for the mornings. That day, I took a bus to work. I could have walked, but it is quite far, and I wanted to sleep as long as I could. When work was finished, I said to Jake, "I'm riding with you." As soon as we were in the car, I said, "We are going to go the free clinic and get you tested, NOW!" He looked scared. I said, "Are you worried? You look scared." "I am scared! I'm scared that my stupidity has gotten me a disease. I'm more scared that if I do have one," (we both knew which "one" he was talking about) "you will not want to have anything more to do with me!" "Let's not worry about that, right now. Let's just get you tested and go from there." I wish I could have made some promise to him, but I couldn't. Not at that time. Notes: Why? Why oh why oh WHY are we so stupid and weak sometimes? We are emotional beings, and it seems that we who are attracted to our own sex are especially sensitive and emotional. And for whatever reason, MEN THAT WE ARE, we think we can control our impulsiveness! I promise I will answer if you write. Hey! I love you! And if I get enough feedback, I may write another after this. I'm open to ideas! Please write "Colin" in the subject line and then send your comments to: s4d@hotmail.com. Love, Steve