Date: Wed, 26 Aug 2015 05:57:58 -0700
From: h.schreiber@hushmail.com
Subject: Chapter 27 of Come Christmas Steve by Hans Schreiber

Come Christmas Steve
 Chapter 27
 Hurry Up and Wait

It was not a pleasant night. Every twist and turn sent painful shocks to
startle me awake. I was glad to see morning come. Various technicians
arrived and drew blood and checked my vitals. Purple hair girl didn't come
back and her replacement was much better at finding my vein. I was carted
back to X-ray for another round of images. The floor doctor came by and
gently examined my balls. He almost caressed them, pausing to ask if and to
what degree I felt pain from it. He examined the pink urine I'd expelled
into the bottle earlier that morning and was pleased that it wasn't any
bloodier than it was. I was worried about how pink it was and felt some
relief that he wasn't that concerned about it. He signed off for me to go
home pending approval from the Urologist. He lectured me with the same
instructions to take it easy that the ER doctor had given me. I skipped
breakfast, still feeling a little nauseous.

Shortly after that, my parents showed up with some clean clothes including
a jockstrap, which Mom insisted on buying at Walmart because that is what
the doctor said I should wear. "Mom, there's no way I can wear that thing
right now. I'll need it for later on when I start getting active again."

"Are you sure? The doctor said you should wear one," she replied.

"I'm sure I'd pass out if I tried to put that on right now, that's what I'm
sure of," I answered. I looked at Dad for some help.

"He's right, dear. We'll save it for later," he said to rescue me. Mom
shrugged and stuffed it back in the Walmart sack, looking a bit
defeated. Dad helped me dress and I got in the wheelchair and off we went
for home.

"Adam's been calling for you," Billy said. "He needs to talk to you right
away."

I sighed and made my way to the family room couch. Mom brought me
practically every pillow in the house and a blanket to throw over me. After
ten minutes of adjusting, I was as comfortable as I was going to
get. Reluctantly, I called my attorney, Adam, back. I supposed, I'd made
the news and Adam was probably pissed that I hadn't called him and informed
him what had happened.

After a very cursory hello and inquiry into my wellbeing, he launched into
his fit. I apologized and explained that I wasn't really in any shape to
call anyone, but I honestly realized I should have called him. I agreed to
make sure my parents knew to call him in the future if anything similar
happened. I gave him the same story I'd given everyone else and felt bad
about lying to him when I said I didn't know who had attacked me. He
questioned me in much more detail about it and pressed for more
information. "I just didn't look that closely," I lied. "I was curled up on
the ground with my eyes closed while he beat the shit out of me."

"When the news van showed up, he took off. They'd come to talk to me about
something about a bus trip," I said.

"That's the other reason I called. Why did you not tell me about the
incident on the bus trip," he asked full of annoyance.

"I don't know what that's all about. Steve and I took the bus back to
school after Christmas break, but there wasn't any incident," I answered.

"Well, it's the prosecution's newest witness so I only have limited
information, but it has something to do with the mother of two young boys
that you sought out and befriended on the trip. It's alleged that you
talked her into letting you take the boys to the bathroom at lunch and
supposedly did something inappropriate with them. Supposedly, Steve acted
very strange and nervous about you taking them and left the
restaurant. Anyway, it isn't playing well. I'm nervous about this
development. So I need all the details. I've got an investigator trying to
get them to talk to us, but I need to hear your side."

"Oh my god," I groaned. "They're grasping at straws. When we stopped for
lunch we ended up sitting at the same table as this mother with two
boys. She wanted them to use the bathroom before getting back on the
bus. They didn't want to go in the women's bathroom with their mom so I
simply offered to accompany them to the boy's room. I took them both in and
they took care of their business with no help from me while I stood by the
sinks. I made sure they washed their hands afterwards and we went back to
the table. That's it. Steve did act weird about it and didn't want any part
of taking them to the restroom. He told me later about his probation and
explained that's why he's so boy shy. He didn't want any possible
appearance of impropriety. This is total bullshit. Honest," I said.

"Maybe you need to take a page from Steve's book. Are there any more things
to come out of the woodwork with you and little boys?" Adam asked, clearly
annoyed. "I'm growing more and more concerned about this case. I'm worried
that you haven't been completely forthright with me. I have an obligation
to provide you with the best possible defense whether you are guilty or
innocent, but if you lie to me, I cannot do my job and you put yourself at
risk. I'm going to ask you point blank, have you engaged in any illegal or
improper behavior with young boys?"

I wanted to cry. Adam was doubting me. I wondered who else was losing faith
in my innocence. Would Mom and Dad start to believe all the accusations
too? Would Billy? Would Steve? I sighed. I remembered how hurt I was when
Whittaker started to accuse me of being involved in the sex ring with
Steve. "Adam, I swear to you that I have not been inappropriate with any
young boys. I was naked in front of Daniel, the kid in Yellowstone, but
that was a weird circumstance that happened just like I told you it did. I
promise.

"You're positive that you've told me everything?"

"Well, there is one thing I have to say. I wasn't completely honest with
you about how I got beat up. It was the Sheriff who was assigned to our
protection who did it."

"What?" Adam shouted. "Dammit Shane, this is what I mean. Give me all the
details. And don't leave anything out. I mean it. I have to know every
detail."

After I explained in detail about the Colt situation and what the deputy
Sheriff did to me and also explained why I didn't want to expose Sheriff
Withers for Colt's sake, Adam just sighed with annoyance.

"All right. NO MORE fucking do-gooder shit from you! Understand?" Adam said
harshly.

"Understood." I humbly mumbled.

"I mean it. If one more surprise comes out like these, I may petition the
court to be replaced.  Understand?"

"Understood." I agreed again.

"All right. I have to go. I'll see you in Billings tomorrow?" he verified.

"Yes sir. I'll be there. I'm not that bad that I can't travel. I wouldn't
miss the chance to see Steve."

"Good, because I want to talk to both of you together. Also, I need you to
bring Billy as well," Adam instructed.

"It should be fine with him. I'll let him know," I said and added, "Umm,
thanks Adam and I apologize for all of this. I promise I won't withhold any
information from here on out. What do you plan to do about Sheriff
Withers?"

"I don't know yet. For now, nothing. We'll see," Adam said. I was relieved
by that.

I let Billy know he needed to go to Billings on Tuesday. He said it was no
problem but he had to be back on Wednesday in order to pick Jaime up from
school like he'd agreed to do. Mom assured him that we would drive right
back when we finished in Billings so it was set and I was excited. I was a
little worried that I couldn't speak as freely with Steve as I'd like to
with Billy there, and that Steve would be hesitant as well, but I'd take
what I could get.

The rest of the day dragged on miserably. I ate little, mostly soup, as my
stomach was still unsettled.  Daytime TV was dreadful and when I tried to
read, I just had a hard time focusing. All I could think of was seeing
Steve and Adam's worries about my case. I couldn't believe the kids on the
bus had come up.  How? I wondered, and even more puzzling was why?

Sleeping was nearly impossible. Lying down flat hurt my ribs so much I
couldn't do it. I slept, fitfully, in the overstuffed chair in the family
room. I did not feel rested at all when I rose to go shower. Even that was
painful and drying off was very hard. I couldn't bend over so Billy came in
and took care of that task for me. It was odd to have him touch my genitals
in the process. I longed for Steve to be there to care for me
instead. Someday, I believed, we would be together and care for one
another. Someday, no matter how long that someday took it would happen. I
would wait for as long as it took, I knew.

After a breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast, I loaded myself into the
backseat of the crew cab with Billy's kind assistance and off we went to
Billings. I could barely contain my excitement. Billy kept wondering why he
had been invited.

"Do you think he knows I'm coming?" I asked.

"Of course he knows," Mom replied. "He set up the meeting."

"No. Not Adam. Steve!" I exclaimed.

"Oh," she said with a giggle. "Of course."

"I really kind of hope he doesn't know. It'll be fun to see his face when
he sees me if he doesn't know I'm coming. Don't you think that would be
fun?"

"Sure," Billy said.

"I hope he looks all right. It'll kill me if he isn't. I worry that he's
not eating enough. You know how much he eats. I bet he'd give his left ..."
I almost said nut, forgetting Mom was in the car. So I substituted ear.

"Ear for one of your home cooked meals, Mom. Remember at Christmas how much
he loved your cooking? Once this mess all gets cleared up and we're back
together, I'm sure we'll come home for your cooking a lot."

"I hope so too, dear," Mom said.

"I just can't wait to see him and to hold him and talk to him," I said.

"And to kiss him?" Billy teased.

"Well, yeah, duh," I answered. I could see Mom was still a little
uncomfortable with that idea, but she didn't say anything and I could see
she was trying to control her body language over it.

"But mostly, I just want to let him know that I'm still in his corner and
that I still love him and encourage him. He gets discouraged easily. He's
sort of jaded about everything because of his childhood. He thinks everyone
is out to get him kind of or more like the odds are just stacked against
him for some reason. I have to help him get over that. I have to help him
be happy again."

"Things like that take time," Mom cautioned.

"I know. I just know that once we are together all the time and all this
mess is behind him, Steve can start regaining his faith in humanity
again. I know with my help ..., I should say, our help, that he can start
to believe that life can be good again. He'd already started having some
hope about that before his stupid father dragged him back into his child
sex ring. It's just all so sad what he's had to live through.  We'll help
him, though. Won't we?"

"Of course, Shane. We'll be 100% supportive. Right Billy?" Mom asked.

"Sure." Billy turned the radio on. I think he was tired of me talking so
much.

"I hope Adam has good news for us. I think he's on to something to try and
help Steve out."

"What about Todd?" Billy asked.

"Oh, well. Todd too. Sure," I said. "Adam represents them both. Unless Todd
did something more than Steve when he was in the sex ring, I think Todd
will get the same as whatever Steve gets. Whittaker's mom has been helping
out too, I understand. She has a lot of influence in Montana and in the
Capitol."

Billy looked back at me over the seat as I continued, "I hope I can
remember all I want to talk about with Steve. I made a list. I brought my
letter that I wrote him. The one that Adam wouldn't let me send because he
was afraid it might get censored and read and somehow get into the wrong
hands. I'm excited for him to read it. I put a lot of my feelings into it
and filled him in on all the stuff that's been going on with me. Part of me
doesn't want to waste the time it will take for him to read it, but I
really want him to, so I'm going to. You think I should let him read it,
don't you?" I asked.

"I think you should," Mom agreed. "You put a lot of thought into writing
it, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah, tons. I changed it over and over again to get it all just
right. But I could just go over it and just talk about it with him. That
might be better, but there is some personal stuff in there and Adam will be
in the room. Billy, I wonder if you'll be in the room too. Do you think you
will be?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe," Billy answered and then started singing softly along
to the song on the radio.

"Yeah, maybe. I better just let him read it. That's what I'll do. I've
decided." I glanced out the window and added, "It's so beautiful today. The
mountains and trees and blue sky with the puffy white clouds.  Steve loved
it here. He loved to see the beauty of it. I can't wait until he can get
out of that awful jail and come back home with us and enjoy the beautiful
scenery that he loves so much. Jail is awful. It's so dingy and grey and
depressing. I don't know why they make it that way. I know it's supposed to
be punishment but how can anyone feel like they want to do or be better if
they're stuck in a place like that all day? And the boredom. OMG, it is so
boring to just sit there for hours and hours and have nothing to do. The
same thing every day. It's worse than being stuck at home and I complain
about that. At least, I can go running and get on the computer or read a
book or practice the piano. But in jail ..."

"Shane, STOP!" Billy said. "What's with you this morning?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" I asked.

"You're running off at the mouth. Dude, chill," Billy said.

"I am?" I said a little put off. "I'm just making conversation."

"You are a little talkative, dear," Mom sided with Billy.

"Well, I'm just excited to see Steve. What's wrong with that?" I argued.

"More like a little high," Billy joked.

"High on love," I shot back.

"More like high on pain meds, I'm guessin'," Billy volleyed.

"I only took two after breakfast."

"Two?" Mom said. "You're only supposed to take one every six hours."

"But I was in pain and I had the long ride ahead of me. I didn't sleep very
well. I kept waking up. My balls didn't hurt but my ribs did. Every time I
twisted or moved a little bit in the chair, it was like I was getting
kicked again. You know how it is when you don't sleep well and you get
overly tired. I think maybe I'm just overly tired, so maybe that's why you
think I'm talking too much, even though I'm really not. Are we almost there
yet?"

"Holy crap," Billy said. "Please tell me we are almost there. He's gonna
make me crazy."

Mom laughed. "No, we are not even close yet." Billy groaned, fished his ear
buds out of his day pack and plugged himself into his smartphone. Mom
politely carried on an endless conversation with me for about an hour until
I was suddenly exhausted and crashed. It was as if someone had suddenly
toggled me off. I suppose Mom was relieved. I didn't wake up until Billy
jostled me as we were pulling into the parking lot of the Billings jail.

"Dude, wake up! Dude!" Billy said.

"Hmmm, what?" I responded. It took me a while to get full command of my
senses. When I realized we had arrived I got excited and sat up too
fast. "Ouch!"

"Be careful, sweetie. You forget about your ribs sometimes, don't you?" Mom
observed.

"Yes. But they have a way of reminding me," I answered. We made our way
carefully into the visitor processing area. We filled out the forms, showed
our ID and went through the metal detector.

"Why are you walking so odd?" One of the guards asked me.

"I was a victim of an assault a couple of days ago," I answered.

"Hmm," he responded seemingly unimpressed.

"I have a bunch of cracked ribs and my balls were nearly ruptured," I
clarified.

"Ewww," he responded, acting a bit more impressed. "I need you to come in
here with me." He motioned towards a small room. Then he called to an
associate, "Joe, strip search. Can you assist?"

"Yeah, gimme a minute," Joe answered as the first guy led me to the room.

"Strip search? Why?" I asked. I was scared by that concept.

"Precaution. Gotta make sure your story is legitimate and you're not
smuggling something in."  Joe came in and shut the door. "All right, lift
your shirt for us," the guard instructed. Tenderly, I pulled my shirt up
slowly, revealing the bandage.

"That's gotta come off," he said. He pulled the Velcro and unwrapped
me. Seeing there was nothing hidden under it, he wrapped me back up. Then
he said, "Shoes off." I couldn't bend over so I just pulled the heels off
with my toes and pushed them free of my foot.

Joe inspected my shoes while the other guard asked me to remove my pants
and underwear. I cautiously shed my pants. I'd worn sweat pants so they
came off pretty easily. Then I removed my boxers revealing the jock strap
I'd relented to wear to appease my mother. The guard with gloved hands
carefully lifted the pouch and peered at my swollen balls. He could easily
see the bruising. My welts from the night stick were also visible on my
legs and back. I had to turn around and bend as much as I could so he could
inspect between my crack. It was embarrassing to say the least. I was
actually glad that Mom made me wear the jock so I didn't have to fully
expose myself.

Wincing and grunting, I dressed slowly and signed some form. I squatted to
pick up my shoes so I wouldn't have to bend over and then we all went back
out.

"What was that about?" Billy whispered as I sat next to him in the waiting
area.

"I guess they thought I had a weapon or something hidden up my ass because
I was walking so funny," I answered.

"Weird. Did you have to get naked?"

"No, I kept my socks and jock strap on," I explained.

"Weird. Glad they didn't make me do that," he mumbled.

"I guess you weren't cute enough. They didn't want to see you naked," I
quipped. He scoffed.

We fell into silence while we waited. I could tell that Mom and Billy were
doing the same thing as me as we waited. We were all glancing around the
room at the visitors and wondering what their story was. A woman with a
small child was there. The mother and the baby were dirty, poorly dressed
and the mother was aged beyond her years. My heart bled for the
infant. There were several couples, who were obviously parents coming to
visit a wayward son. Showing faith and support for their kid, who had
probably lost his way, fallen into a bad crowd or surrendered to that cold
hearted slave master known as drugs. I realized that for everyone in that
cold, heartless place there was a background story. Just like Steve, they
had been an innocent infant once like the one in the dirty mother's arms. A
life full of cold realities had been thrust upon many of them. Others, like
me, had been given all the advantage of a good home and family and much
less of an excuse. I began to tear up as I realized how fortunate my life
had been. I reached over and took my mother's hand. When she looked at me,
I said, "Thanks."  She smiled and asked, "For bringing you here?"

I nodded and said, "That too, but mostly for bringing me into the world and
being such a great Mom. I'm really lucky to have you."

She squeezed my hand and her eyes watered. She smiled but couldn't
speak. Soon after, Adam walked in.

"Good to see you," he said. I stood up and so did Billy. Mom started to
stand but Adam waived her back down. "Please, stay seated."

I extended my hand and he shook mine and Billy's hands. "How is
everything?" I asked.

"Good. Billy, I have some exceptional news for you," he said.

"Really? What is it?" Billy asked enthusiastically.

"The gun lobby has been pressuring the DA on your case and he's agreed to
drop charges. Your case is off the table, no trial, no probation, no
record, DONE!"

Billy leapt about four feet off the ground, thrusting his fist in the air
and shouting, "YES!" When he landed, he exploded into a series of quick
air-jabs and exclaimed, "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Adam laughed and mom cried. Joe, the guard, came over to warn us to keep it
down.

"What about me?" I asked. "Any news on me?"

Adam fidgeted. "No deals for you. You're his only prize at this point. He
needs you for the media attention. Even if he was sure he would lose your
case, he's going to drag it out to keep the media machine going while he
runs for Attorney General."

I deflated. I was genuinely happy for Billy, but I had a hard time showing
it after Adam dashed my hopes.  Billy stopped celebrating and pulled me
into a careful bro hug. "Dude, it'll be all right. I'm sorry, man."

"I know. Thanks," I said. Mom cried again.

"So he doesn't think he can win against me but he still refuses to let me
off? So a trial is my only hope?"  I asked.

"I never said that," Adam clarified. "He is fairly confident he can win on
your case. Frankly, I'm worried about it. With the additional discoveries
and this Colt situation ... well, it just depends on the boys'
testimonies. He's added the woman and her sons from the bus, the boys you
tutored after school back in Bozeman and Colt and his father as witnesses
for the prosecution. We still don't know how the testimony by the young boy
from Yellowstone will play out."

"Oh, all of them are witnesses against me? That doesn't make any
sense. Nothing happened with them.  That won't help his case," I responded
dismally.

"He has reasons for adding them. Now that Billy's case is gone, we're about
to make a legal motion on your case, but if that fails, we have to be
prepared to aggressively defend you. Which is why you and I need to have a
very serious and very exact conversation," Adam sternly said.

"Sure," I agreed.

"I don't want any surprises in the courtroom. I need to know exactly what
happened with every one of these instances," Adam declared. Mom looked
petrified.

Our number was called and Billy, Adam and I headed through the steel door
into a small holding area.  When the first door closed and audibly locked,
a second door snapped open to give us access to the inner sanctum of
hell. We were escorted across the painted concrete floor, down the grey
hallway, following the blue line to one of the private interrogation
rooms. Because Adam was with us, we didn't have to go to the common room
with the other visitors. The escort left us and we sat down. Shortly after,
the door clicked open and a guard guided Steve inside. I gasped at the
site.

He didn't look up until his guard unshackled him. Then he slowly lifted his
gaze until our eyes met. A shiver slipped through my soul. I gave him a
longing smile and the slightest of grins crossed his lips. The light was
missing. Steve's eyes had always held a certain glow and occasionally a
blazing fire when he was passionately defending some strongly held point of
view. But now, there was not the slightest glimmer. His cheeks were
narrower and he had obviously lost weight. Not that he looked starved but
he was not his normal healthy self. I forced myself to keep my composure.

"You got two others in here. My paperwork says there is supposed to be
one," the guard told Adam.

"I added one," Adam responded without looking at the guard. "I'll need an
hour."

"My paperwork says half an hour," the guard countered.

Adam looked up, "Go fix it then. I called and made these arrangements and
received confirmation back."

"Well that's not what my paperwork says, so one of these two have to go and
you get half an hour," the guard stated. There was a certain air of
self-appointed power in his demeanor.

Adam looked highly annoyed. "Just a minute." Adam maneuvered through his
smartphone and then held the screen toward the guard. "Here's my
confirmation email."

The guard took the phone, read it, and handed it back. "I don't care. I
have to follow my paperwork and my paperwork says one other visitor and 1/2
hour."

"Then go get your fucking paperwork corrected. I'm the attorney for all
three of these young men and I need to speak with them together. If you
prevent that from happening, you will be responsible for obstructing
justice and I'll make certain Chief Roberts knows about it."

The guard didn't look the least bit impressed. "Which one do you want to
stay? I'll escort the other one back to the waiting area."

"Are you fucking kidding me? I really do know Chief Roberts. That was not
an idle threat. If you don't make an effort to accommodate me and at least
go get clarification of your damned paperwork, I'll have your fucking job!"
Adam seethed.

"Fine," the guard said. He pulled the cuffs off his belt and pulled Steve's
left hand back behind him and snapped it on. "Interview's over then."

"Don't you fucking dare prevent me from meeting with my client," Adam
growled. "I swear you'll be patrolling the halls of the City Mall if you
do."

"You have two choices, asshole" the guard growled back. "Choose which one
you want to stay or the interview is over and you can reschedule it." He
emphasized his seriousness by snapping a cuff on Steve's other wrist.

"All right," Adam conceded. Recognizing his lack of immediate control of
the situation. I had no doubt that the guard had truly sealed his fate with
his stubborn determination to ignore Adam's amending email. I doubted he'd
really get fired, but certainly disciplined. I was disappointed that I'd
only get 1/2 hour with Steve, but I'd have to make it count.

"Which one?" the guard insisted.

"Shane, I need you to go out. I'm sorry," Adam said.

It didn't register at first. When it did, I was speechless. "Me?" I asked,
incredulous.

"Yes, I have to go over the events with Billy and Steve from when Steve
went to your ranch to hide out and then traveling down to find you at the
river. This is critical to define before I meet with the Feds on

Steve and Todd's cases."

"But ..." I couldn't even finish. I was stunned.

"I know. I'm sorry. It'll have to wait for the next time. I'm sorry." The
guard had removed Steve's cuffs once again. Steve sat at the table across
from Billy and Adam. The guard motioned for me to follow him out. My feet
were like blocks of cement. I had to fully concentrate on moving them. I
shuffled sadly across the small room and stopped next to Steve.

He turned and looked at me. He reached a hand out and I took it. "It's
okay. Thanks for coming. It's great to see you," he meekly said.

"I'm sorry, Steve. There's so much I wanted to share with you. Are you
okay?" I asked, squeezing his hand. He gave me a simple, unconvincing nod.

"Twenty minutes left," the guard grumbled, waving his damned paperwork at
Adam.

"Yeah, yeah, go." Adam ordered. I let Steve's hand slip from mine and
followed the guard into the hall and back along the blue line, sad and
dismayed. I trudged along, fighting off a flood of tears. I wouldn't give
the guard that satisfaction, though. I had been sure that since Billy's
case had settled out, that I would be the one to stay. I didn't really
understand why I was chosen as the one to leave.

"Fucking attorneys can be such assholes," the guard said. "Always wanting
to push the rules. We have rules for a reason. This ain't no place for
making exceptions."

"Shut up!" I said in anger. "Adam's not an asshole, you are. He had an
email changing the plan and you refused to even try to verify it."

The guard glared at me but kept silent until we got to the double doors. He
punched a code and the first door opened then shut behind me. A moment
later, the woman in the bullet proof glass enclosure opened the other door
into the waiting room. I shuffled over to where Mom was sitting and sat
next to her. As I sat, she looked at me with questioning eyes.

"The paperwork got messed up," I explained. "The guard wouldn't let both of
us stay in there. Adam argued and even showed him an email that changed the
visitor plan. But he didn't care. All he cared about was his paperwork."

"That's awful. I'm so sorry, Shane. You must be terribly disappointed," Mom
said.

"I'll say. I want to cry. Steve didn't look good. We didn't even get to
talk at all," I whined.  Mom took my hand and held it gently in her
soothing manner. "I'm sure he appreciated that you came," she offered.

"Yeah. He said he was. The fire in his eyes is gone, Mom. He's given
up. He's hollow inside."

"Oh, dear. We just have to keep our faith in Adam to take care of him," Mom
assured.

"I know. But it's so hard to see him like that," I answered.

I propped my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands and let the
tears flow. Mom opened her purse and then slipped a tissue on my lap. I
took it and wiped my eyes. Then I buried my face again and lamented my
fate. All I'd wanted to tell Steve, all the encouragement I'd planned on
giving him, all the plans and dreams for us that I wanted to communicate
with him had been thwarted by one insolent, stubborn ass guard, blindly
following his paperwork. It was just wrong. It was just so damned unjust. I
was beginning to understand Steve's jaded view of the justice system.

I was startled out of my loathsome, pity party by Billy and Adam
approaching us. The time had gone quickly while I'd been wallowing in my
misery. I looked up and wiped my eyes again then squeezed the runny snot
from both nostrils. "How'd it go?" I asked.

"Fine," Adam replied in his matter of fact way. "I'm confident that I can
get a reasonable deal for Steve and Todd. Billy's case being dismissed puts
him in a position to testify in Steve's defense and that helps me
tremendously. The Feds want the real criminals and Steve and Todd will
testify against Steve's father, the judge, and that kid who was running the
boys home as well as the other culprits in exchange for a minimal term."

"Wait. What?" I asked. "Minimal term? What does that mean?"

"I'm negotiating four years at the moment, maybe three. Four is almost
certain. I'm getting no inclusion on any predator lists and I'll get the
ability to control where they are placed. I'm sure I can get them in a
minimum security facility where they will be safe."

"That's it? That's the best you can do? They shouldn't have to serve any
time! They are victims!" I said too loudly.

Adam flinched briefly then composed himself. "I understand your feelings,
Shane. You love Steve, I know. Trust me, considering the charges, this is
an amazing deal. If we take this to trial, we'll lose big and I'll have no
control over where they go. If they go to any hard time federal prison,
they will not emerge for many years and they will be dehumanized if they
manage to get out alive. No jury will be sympathetic to these boys. They
will just be lumped in as part of the heinous child molesters that the
others in this case are. We've surveyed a population of potential jurors
and the results are overwhelmingly bad."

I fell silent. The news sunk in slowly like a stomach virus. Slowly it took
over and multiplied until my stomach tied up into a knot stronger than any
merchant sailor could ever tie. "Four years," I muttered.

"That's not so long," my mother spoke softly into my ear attempting to calm
me.

"It's a really long time. I'll be out of college already when he gets out,"
I said.

"I don't want to ..." Adam began and then stopped uncharacteristically. He
always spoke his mind.

"Don't want to what?" I asked.

"Nothing. It'll wait."

"No. Say it. You don't want to be a downer, but I may not be as lucky as
Steve. Right? I might be the one to go to a jury trial and get the book
thrown at me for something I didn't even do. I might spend half my adult
life in prison, right? Justice? Justice is just bullshit. There isn't any
justice. Steve was right."

"Shhh. I'm working hard to not have that happen," Adam said calmly. "Don't
lose hope. It all depends on the boys' testimonies," Adam said.

"Boys?" Billy asked. "More than that kid at Yellowstone?" I guess he wasn't
paying attention earlier.  Adam looked at him and then at me. I shrugged
indifference so Adam responded, "There are two boys at the elementary
school where Shane worked while at college and two young brothers on a bus
ride back from Christmas break and finally a young man named Colt who lives
near your home."

Billy glared at me, mouth agape. He didn't say I told you so out loud, but
he communicated it with his eyes. He also looked at me with some suspicion.

"Don't even!" I sternly said. "None of it's true. None of it. I didn't do
anything with any boys. EVER!"  Billy relaxed his posture and said, "You
better not have."

"How could you even think it?" I asked.

"Damn, Shane, how could I ever imagine any of this shit?" he answered
honestly. I saw his point. I wished desperately for some sort of infallible
truth serum that I could take and all the other liars could take. We could
feed it to the boys and they would say exactly what happened, which was
nothing. But there was no such serum. There was only my word against the
hysteria and notions of everyone who wanted a witch to burn. For the first
time in all of this, I was afraid for myself. I was truly afraid. I began
to tremble. I had no control over it.

Adam knelt in front of me and placed a hand on my trembling knee. "Shane, I
need you to keep it together. You look guilty when you let your emotions
overcome you like this. I will fight hard to keep you out of prison. The
truth is on your side, so that is important. Just keep being honest with me
about everything and I'll do my job. Okay?"

"Okay," I said. "I'm afraid."

"It's about time. You should be. Just don't become despondent."

"Okay. I'll be okay," I said. Suddenly all my speeches to Steve about
keeping the faith and hope alive seemed so hypocritical and naive. The
speech I'd rehearsed to give him that very day that I never got to deliver
seemed silly to me. I scoffed at it myself before Steve had the chance to
scoff. I was in no small amount of risk. It was time to get serious and
take the gloves off. "Can we talk a bit before we leave?" I asked Adam.

"We need to, yes," he answered. "Let's go get something to eat. Follow me."
We signed out and headed to our vehicles. Mom followed Adam to a small
diner. Adam and I sat in a separate booth away from Mom and Billy so we
could speak privately.

Adam drilled me on every detail of my interaction with the young boys at
the school. There were two who were named as witnesses by the DA. Landon
and Curtis. Landon was a cute, bubbly baseball player with dirty blond hair
and an infectious smile. Curtis was a quieter boy with a shy smile. Both
wanted to learn and sought out my help with their math homework in
particular. I'd had some friendly conversation with them but never anything
even remotely sexual. I had no idea why the DA would bring them into it.

"I have a pretty good idea," Adam explained. "He can't afford to not have
this case for the media exposure. I think he's posturing for all
contingencies."

"Like what?" I asked.

"I'm trying to get the case moved out of his jurisdiction. He may suspect
that and be grasping at straws.  Or else, he's just using them to show a
pattern of behavior. He may be trying to show that you position yourself
into situations where you have access to young boys. It's a pedophile's
typical profile. He's going to want to paint you as that for the jury. Most
pedophiles are actually related to the boys they molest. Most others are
coaches, teachers, religious leaders, or other trusted mentors of some
sort.  Rarely, opposed to popular belief, are they complete
strangers. Parents spend so much time warning their kids of stranger danger
when they really should be warning them against the very people they
intentionally trust their kids to. The Boy Scouts of America has actually
produced some pretty good training videos for educating the scouts and
their parents. The one I watched was titled, A Time to Tell.  It was very
well done and a strong deterrent to any would be molesters."

"So do you think that's why he's including the boys on the bus and Colt?" I
asked.

"Possibly. But the boys at the school worry me more. I want you to really
think about what you might have said or done with them that could be
misconstrued as inappropriate or as attempted grooming of the boys."

I rehearsed once more everything I could remember. When we finished our
meal, and the apple pie came, I switched places with Billy and Adam grilled
him on everything he knew about the Colt situation.  Finally, we all said
goodbye and we headed off for home. Back to my house arrest, where I
couldn't even escape for a run any longer due to my busted balls and
cracked ribs.

The ride was much quieter on the way back home. I had nothing to talk
about. I was forced into introspection. I thought over and over of each
little detail of my interaction with the various boys who were being
assembled to paint a picture of me as a child molester. I felt the fear
virus multiplying and settling into the recesses of my bowels. It was
settling in like a long term, unwanted house guest who drinks from the milk
jug and leaves their dirty underwear on the bathroom floor.

Once home, I took more pain meds and went to my room. I lay on my bed and
thought of Steve. I hadn't even asked Billy what they had talked about. I
felt bad and selfish for having not done so. I softly rubbed the hand that
Steve had touched and cherished that precious, fleeting mercy. At least, he
knew I cared enough to come. I wondered if Billy or Adam told him about the
beating I'd taken. He had to have noticed how gingerly I walked. I wondered
if he'd asked about it. I wondered if he was lying on his cot and thinking
of me. I wondered if he got to see Todd ever and if they strengthened each
other. I honestly wished I was there with him. I wished I could be there
with him, could hold him, and could share our fears together. I'd apologize
for scoffing at his lack of trust in justice.

The following day, I woke up and felt the effects of overdoing it the day
before. I groaned loudly as I twisted enough to get out of bed just to go
pee. I went down to breakfast and picked at my oatmeal.  Conversation was
guarded and awkward. No one wanted to trigger another fit of tears from
me. I doubted I had any more in me. I'd reached the point of accepting my
fate, and Steve's fate, whatever that meant. If it ended up to be four
years or forty years, I didn't care. I'd wait. I hoped Steve would do the
same for me. I sat in the overstuffed chair, reading, watching Lucille Ball
reruns, and dozing. At lunchtime, as we ate our grilled tuna and cheese
sandwiches, Billy was jubilant about seeing Jaime. He had been asked to
pick her up from school. I was jealous. He got to see the person he was in
love with while I'd been unfairly prohibited from doing the same thing just
the day before.

When Billy left to go get Jaime, I put my earbuds in and cranked up the
music on my phone. Pool Party by the Aquabats was interrupted by a phone
call. My mood immediately brightened. "Hey!" I cheerfully answered.

"What the hell, dude?" was Whittaker's reply. "I have to hear through the
grapevine that you got jumped?"

"Sorry. I should have called you, I guess. It's just been a little crazy
since it happened."

"So, what did happen?"

"I got jumped, like you said. It happened while I was out jogging on our
property. I was on my second lap and when I came up to the stand of trees
out by the canal road, this big guy jumped me and beat the shit out of me
because I'm gay."

"Fucker. I'd like to get my hands on him. Do you know him?" Whittaker
asked.

I paused. I remembered Whittaker making Todd cry in the hallway back at
school and then snapping Arty's neck by the river. I imagined him torturing
Colt's father while the big Sheriff begged for mercy.

"Nah," I said. "Just some big ass redneck." I didn't think it was a good
idea to tell Whittaker.

"You going to be all right?" he asked sincerely.

"Yes. I'm fine. My balls are bruised and sore and I got some cracked ribs,
but I'll recover."

"That's a relief. I can't lose you too," he said. "Be careful, all right?"

"I will. How are things with you? Been on Letterman yet?" I asked.

"No. I haven't yet. Things are still crazy busy with the election
stuff. We're back in Montana, though.  We're in Helena and living in a
Residence Inn. I'm a little tired of living out of a suitcase."

"I bet. I'm a little tired of having no life," I responded.

"I can imagine. I've got some time, in a couple of weeks. I'm going to come
visit you," Whittaker revealed.

"Oh man! That would be so great!" I exclaimed. "For sure?"

"Yeah. For sure. I can't wait to see you. I think about you and worry about
you every day, dude. We went through a lot together, you know?"

"We did. Thanks for coming. It gives me something to look forward to."

"My mom is helping Adam with your case. She was instrumental in getting the
gun lobby to pressure the DA to drop Billy's case. That was so bogus
anyway. It wasn't that hard. A Montana jury would have slaughtered the
prosecution in trial."

"That's so great. Tell her thank you for us. Billy is like a new person
since he got the news. I didn't realize how much he was troubled by it. He
kept it bottled up, but now I see the difference in him, I know he was
pretty freaked out by it."

"Who wouldn't be?"

"Yeah. I just realized what kind of danger I'm really in. I really hadn't
been taking things as seriously as I should have been. We went to visit
Steve in jail yesterday and to meet with Adam. I got cheated out of
spending any time with Steve, but I did at least get to see him. He looks
awful. Adam is trying to get him off with just four years of prison. Four
years! I couldn't believe it and Adam acted like it was a great deal.

Steve looked resigned to whatever. He had no fire in his eyes left at
all. It was sad. It made me so sad to see him like that."

"I bet. It sucks that a kid can be victimized like he was and then still
have to go to prison over stuff he really didn't have any real power to
prevent or refuse to participate in," Whittaker said.

"Yeah. I don't know exactly what all he got involved in after he became a
legal adult, but just hiding those files was criminal, as long as he knew
what he was hiding, and I'm sure he did. I don't blame him, but I get that
it was technically criminal."

"When it comes to child abuse, there's very little leeway given," Whittaker
commented.

"Don't I know it? I'm totally innocent and yet I've realized that I'm in
real danger of spending half my life in prison. I'm scared
Whittaker. Really scared."

"I'm scared for you too, man. I don't want anything else bad to happen to
you. I sure don't want to see you go to prison. I know you're innocent. I
was there. I knew you were telling the truth about what happened in
Yellowstone. If you'd really done anything bad, you wouldn't have been
telling us about it.  My mom's turned her attention to helping on your case
now. She's loaned her investigator, who is amazing by the way, to Adam to
help find out whatever he can."

"Wow! Thanks again. Your mom is awesome."

"So I'm learning. My dad is too, really. I just didn't understand how busy
their lives are. I guess I was just so into feeling bad for myself that I
never looked at things from their perspective. It's been so great to be
working with them. I've gained new respect for who they are and the good
they do. They do it without getting or even wanting the public attention
for it." Then before I could start a new topic, he said, "Ahh, I gotta
go. Laterz, okay?"

"Oh, okay. Laterz. Thanks for calling. Really, thanks."

"You're welcome. Glad you're okay. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"K. Bye."

I felt better. Not overly optimistic but definitely more hopeful than I'd
been since meeting with Adam. I fell asleep in the overstuffed chair
remembering the times I'd spent with Whittaker and recalling what a great
friend he'd turned out to be.

The next two weeks dragged on with a painful lack of significant events. I
dreaded waking up to another day of sore ribs, painful balls, minimal
appetite, and little hope of a bright future. Billy was engaged in his
online schooling and working on a neighboring farm. His general mood was
greatly improved now that his legal case was closed. His mood was
especially high on Wednesdays. His assignment to pick Jaime up from school
on Wednesdays had become a weekly need. It was an act of service he was
more than happy to perform. I imagined, from the way he acted upon
returning home, that his weekly needs were getting serviced at the same
time. I never asked him about it, but it was pretty obvious to me.

I skipped church because of how miserable I still felt. But my family went
and reported back that the preacher's sermon about being non-judgmental,
which had been inspired by me, was really powerful. I was sorry to have
missed it. He didn't mention me specifically, but it was obvious, according
to my family, that I was the reason he was giving the sermon. The news of
my beating had only strengthened his position for preaching temperance and
leaving judgment to God. He came to visit me and give me encouragement
during the week after his sermon. He was a genuinely kind, caring person.

I wondered and worried what was happening with Colt. I worried what life
was like for him now that his father knew he'd been contacting me. I
couldn't help but believe that Sheriff Withers was making life hell on
earth for him and possibly his wife also. I had to keep telling myself that
it was not my problem, but that was shallow. I cared about him and I
couldn't deny it. I couldn't be that selfish. I knew I could do nothing
about it but worry, however. To try and intervene or to even speak to Colt
would be legal suicide.

Toward the end of the two weeks, I was feeling enough better to go out to
the shop and keep my dad company while he worked on his new sprayer
invention. He was excited about it and wished he knew how to mass produce
and market it. He'd sold a total of six units so far and everyone he'd sold
one to was elated with it. I was happy to see him feeling successful at
something.

At last, the day had arrived for Whittaker to visit. I was floating on a
cloud. Just the break in the tedium of another uneventful day would be
welcome, but to have the tedium broken by a visit from my good friend was
absolutely thrilling. When he pulled up in a black BMW, I smiled. "Nice
ride," I commented.

"Ahh, this old thing?" he joked. I went out to meet him and help pack his
things in. I extended a handshake and he refused it.

"Nah, man. Hugs, dude. What's with the handshake bullshit?" He pulled me
into a hug and I warned him about my ribs. "No worries, I'll be gentle."
And he was.

He let me tote his computer bag in but nothing else, even though I could
have carried more. I was doing better every day. I was still horribly sore,
especially when I twisted wrong, but I was no longer a complete basket
case. He was welcomed in Steele fashion once inside the house by Mom and
Dad both.  Then I showed him the room we would be sharing. He raised an
eyebrow as he set his bag on the bed.

"One bed?"

"Yeah. We have to share, but I sleep in the chair downstairs still. Lying
flat hurts my ribs. Don't go getting any ideas, my fancy ass still belongs
to Steve."

"Ahh. A guy can dream, can't he?" he said snickering.

"Yeah. Dream on." I smiled back at him. We spent the rest of the day from
lunch to dinner just talking and reminiscing. He brought me up on details
of what he'd been doing in the Capitol and in Montana.  He shared with me
the details of the legislation he was helping to promote to protect
children in public and privately operated care homes. I was impressed with
the maturity he exhibited as he spoke about it.  He was not the insecure,
self-deprecating boy who I'd known a few months ago. It was an attractive
change.

When it came time for dinner, he heaped the usual amount of praise on Mom
for her cooking.  Afterward, we sat in the family room and talked
politics. I lost interest quickly and was daydreaming about the time I'd
spent with Whittaker. I couldn't resist thinking about his large dick up my
ass. It left me longing for intimate contact with someone. Every now and
then I was drawn into the conversation and had to admit my lack of
attention. At bedtime, I decided to try and share the bed. I piled pillows
on my side against the wall and when I was finally positioned, I was
propped up at about a 45 degree angle.  After helping me get into position,
Whittaker went to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Need anything?" he asked before climbing into bed.

"Nah, I'm good." I answered. "Thanks."

Then he peeled off his boxers revealing the massive piece of man meat he'd
become famous for. I'd actually forgotten just how incredibly large it
was. I was surprised he was sleeping naked, but I remembered that's how he
always slept. He slipped between the cold sheets and shivered.

"You're shaking the bed, dude." I joked.

"I'm sorry. It's just the sheets are freakin' cold."

"I know. Takes getting used to, doesn't it?"

"Definitely. I wish you were healthy so we could cuddle and you could warm
me up," he joked back.

"In your dreams, dude. In your dreams."

With much less jocularity in his voice, he said. "Definitely."

 I didn't quite know how to respond to that, so I just left it
hanging. Finally, I said, "Thanks for coming."

"I'm not cumming," he said, "I'm not even boned," he joked.

"Don't make me laugh. It hurts."

"Sorry," he said.

"You know what I meant," I said back.

"Yeah. You're welcome. I wanted to come. I needed to come and see you."

"I'm glad."

"Have you thought about what you'll do if Steve gets four years?" he asked
after a long period of silence.

"Wait," I answered. "It's all I can do. I'll finish school and get a good
job of some sort so I can support him while he finishes school. Then,
hopefully, we'll settle somewhere with a better tolerance for our lifestyle
and live happily ever after. That's the best scenario. The others aren't so
bright."

There was a sullen silence. For a while, I thought Whittaker had fallen
asleep. Then he said, "Oh. I hope it all works out like that for you
two. You both deserve to be happy."

My next awareness was waking up in serious discomfort. I'd slipped off my
pillow pile and wedged myself between the pillows and the wall. Pushing
myself off the wall I managed to get back up on the pile. I maneuvered
around, wincing at every twist to get situated again into a comfortable
position. Once I somewhat succeeded, I relaxed and listened to the steady
breathing of my friend. I was drawn by my need for human contact to reach
over and let my hand rest on Whittaker's smooth, firm ass. My dick twitched
and my heart fluttered. I thrilled at the touch of naked boy flesh. I
longed for Steve. I longed for sex.

Whittaker stirred and I quickly withdrew my hand. He rolled over and
wriggled a bit before settling back into his steady breathing. Slowly, but
deliberately, I reached over and found his large penis. To my pleasant
surprise, it was fully erect, hot, and throbbing. Cautiously, I wrapped my
hand around it. I sprang my own instantaneous erection and my ass twitched
with a burning desire to be filled. Using my left hand, I freed my own
erection and while holding Whittaker's dick, I stroked myself off to a
quick and easily achieved orgasm.

I let out staggered, soft moans as the rush of the orgasm raced up and down
my spine. A large load jettisoned from my pulsating dick. It was my first
release since nurse Kyle coaxed a sample from me in the hospital, and I was
immensely relieved that the orgasm wasn't painful. I kept hold of Whittaker
until I'd completely refracted and started to soften. I put Little Shaney
away and lifted the covers to enhance the whiff of semen emanating from my
crotch. I scooped a dollop onto my fingers and sucked on them. Reluctantly,
I released my hold on Whittaker's large tool and fell back into a peaceful
sleep.  "Four years," I thought. "I can wait four years if I have to. I can
wait. I have to." I fell asleep wondering if Billy knew any girls we could
line Whittaker up with. He deserved to find someone to make him happy.  I
wanted him to be as happy as Steve and I would eventually be.

*****######*****

I hope you have appreciated this latest chapter. There is a whirlwind of
events to come in the next chapter. Hang in there to find out what they
are. Hans h.schreiber@hushmail.com

Please donate to Nifty to keep the forum open and
available. Donate.nifty.org

Continued thanks to my editors, Paul Stevens (Who just completed a fan
fiction piece on Nifty, btw,
http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/celebrity/fate-brought-billy-gilman-to-me/)
and Flip McHooter. Their assistance is immeasurable.