From: D One Subject: Coming Out Bravely Date: Sat, 01 Aug 1998 04:41:38 GMT I held his balls in my hand. Laying on top of them was his cock..flacid but hardening as I held them. Around me they chanted, "kiss it kiss it kiss it" I was kneeling...only my jockey shorts hid my cock's excitement and I suspected that wasn't entirely hidden. But I chose to ignore it. I was embarassed not because I lost the dare but because I was loving it. I felt as if this were deja vu, a fantasy fulfilled a much needed event in my life. I wondered if I should refuse and if I should have refused to go this far. But we all had been drinking and I knew that would help my excuse, if I needed any in the morning. "kiss it kiss it kiss it" They chanted ever increasing in their loudness and intensity. A hand was on the back of my head, pushing and I held back. He was tall, near naked and standing there waiting for me to submit to him in the most embarassing way the group could think of. I looked up with my eyes..not my head. He was almost naked...except for his boxer shorts. The chest was heaving and it's developed pectorals were smooth with two large silver dollar size nipples I craved to kiss. His thighs were spread and had enough hair to demonstrate his puberty and his manliness. In my hands were his balls and cock.....beautiful to see and hold. I had never touched another mans' genitals. Of course I had dreamed of it...and in fact dreamed of holding his...licking, sucking, kissin and doing whatever else you did with a man's nuts and cock. An old magazine I had stolen from the sex shop had pictures of what a woman did to a man..but I wasn't a woman. Yet I loved him..and other men I had seen...clothed and unclothed. I had met one guy, a college guy, in a book store who shared my enthusiasm for Kurt Vonegat. We talked for hours, he gave me beer he stripped in front of me and kissed me. I let him undress me and suck my cock until I exploded down his throat. I was confused, but changed that night. He became a memory.....one which I craved to revisit but never did. But he was a memory that told me who and what I was. My cock hardened in my jockey shorts as I thought of him. I knew what I would do..despite of their instructions chanted while they laughed, cursed and called me names. I had stayed naked that night...his to play with, suck again and pet like some animal curled in his masters lap. I loved it....it was more then sex, it was a warmth I had never known before. His muscled arms surrounded me and I wanted to stay there safe forever. But the night ended....and I walked home....missing him as soon as I left his apartment. Mark was nice to me. He tolerated my bad football techniques to engage in touch games on the frat lawn. Others gave me crap for stupid plays but he stood up for me..saying it was "just a game". His pats on my butt sent jolts of warmth throughout me. Wanting to see the sight of him naked or in speedos, got me involved in campus intrefrat swim meets. I swam better then I played football and he noticed. His naked form filled my nights as I silently manipulated myself into orgasm. Occasionally, my enjoyment would bother my roomie who would tell me to get it over with so he could go to sleep. Guido and I were good friends..but nothing else. I tolerated his bimbos and masturabating to posters of women in swimwear and he tolerated my masturbating to whatever was going on in my head. Mark was often the target of my wanking. Crosley, our next door roomie was a fag. But everyone knew that..he made no secret of it and would flounce about the frat house...making everyone laugh. His brains helped many of us through exams, and he was a brother in every sense of the word. His self proclaimed "house fag" role was one he bore happily so it seemed. "When are YOU coming out dear? " he'd say to me. And I'd rebuke him while wonderin how he knew. I bent forward and kissed the flesh in my hand. Everyone laughed and applauded. "Truth or dare" the game was announced and I took my turn like everyone. I refused to respond to "who in this room have you had sexual thoughts about" question from Crosley. And so the dare I had to do was in my hands. "Kiss the balls of our president" was the card drawn from the bowl. I kissed them again and the crowd laughed and called me names. Guido yelled " do it again" and I bent over my head and revealed my true nature, my desires and my "truth" as I licked and put his cock in my mouth. The group got quiet and someone said "who's next?" Mark didn't pull back...he patted my head instead and I lifted my head as he put his cock and balls back inside his boxer shorts. My emissions of precum made a stain on my jockey shorts. The game continued. "Well at least we found out you're not the only queen of the house tonight" someone said to Crosley. I think he wasn't happy to be dethrowned. So I added, "you'll always be the queen, just not the only fag" and everyone laughed. Crosley used his hand as if to knight me and all laughed again. I didn't feel like going to bed...my roomie Guido, would probably be waiting to give me crap..and I didn't want to experience that tonight. I curled on the couch drinking more beer and watching some horrible movie on cable as my brothers dissappeared. "you did good tonight" Crosley said to me patting my head and left the room. It was awhile before Mark appeared. He sat next to me on the couch...his body against my feet. His hand rested on my legs. He said nothing..but slowly pet my leg hair like some cat. I sat up and turned around laying my head in his lap. His hands rested on my bare torso and resumed the petting. "We shouldn't do this" he whispered. "It's ok" I said. "yea I guess so" he said and we lay there not so much absorbing the television film but enjoying what the darkness, the booze and the absence of our brothers allowed us to do. His cock tasted good..his sperm stained my face, chest and jockeys. He put his hand into my shorts and returned the favor albeit with his hands. We lay there awhile longer...and then he got up to leave. I looked up as he turned and bent over to kiss me. "Let's ...." he started to say but then stopped. I held out my hand and he pulled his shorts down so his cock and balls were mine to hold again...kiss and lick again..as I had done earlier. "Better not do this again" he said. I accepted the rebuke but was heartened when he added, "at least not here". He left the room. Guido was asleep when I crept into our room and into my bed. "Some party last night" he said as we went about our usual morning shower and toilette activities. "You were pretty drunk" he offered his excuse for my behavior and his permission for me to not explain. But as the months and years progressed he got as comfortable with my identity as I did and we remain friends to this day. Mark and I did get together in a nearby motel for one hell of a weekend at least twice before he graduated. Crosley made sure I was invited to the parties he went to..where I met my first boyfriend..and my second and my third..hell I became a tramp on campus. And five of us and I celebrated my graduation in my frat room...Guido happily made himself scarce that night. But all through my years there..and since, I remember kneeling in front of my brothers and holding the things I truly held dear in my hand and kissing and licking ... and revealing who and what I was...bravely and happily. And they accepted it.....I know I was lucky..and remain an active member of the frat to this day. So does Mark, Guido and Crosley. I see them often.