Dustin
Chapter 15
Not Perfect, But Close
The Conclusion
Copyright 2005 Julien Gregg
Edited by Bruce
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or
otherwise, without written permission from the author. This story is completely
fiction. The characters depicted in this story exist exclusively in the
imagination of the author. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead,
is purely coincidental. For a list of my other stories, original and fan
fiction, please visit my
personal website.
"Hi, Dustin," he said, standing there with this strange
look on his face.
For an instant, it was like nothing had ever happened between us. I was happy
to see him, and then I was angry with myself for forgetting so easily that he
had tried to destroy me after so many years of loyal friendship. I hadn't
planned on talking to him this soon. I still didn't know what I wanted to say.
However, that higher power that so many are so focused on didn't see things my
way, it seemed. First my mother surprised me, and now here was Keith.
"Come in," I said, turning away from the open door and
walking back to the dining room table. I sat down and folded my hands on the
table in front of me.
"I just needed to ask you about the rent," he said, closing the door. "I don't
know anyone else in the building."
"Sit down, Keith," I said, still trying to figure out what I was going to say
once he was seated across from me.
He chose the seat diagonal from me, and I inwardly flinched. I'd wanted him
across from me, so I could look him in the eye while I questioned him. I could
still do that with him sitting in the chair he was in, but I'd have to turn
and face him, and that just seemed a bit too intimate for me at the time. It
was stupid, and I know that, but at the time it seemed important.
"Look," he sighed, "I know you don't want to be friends anymore, and I don't
blame you."
"Shut up, Keith," I said through a sigh of my own. "I want to talk to you, but
you have to listen first."
He sat there, looking back at me, and I thought I saw a mixture of hope and
fear in his brown eyes. He put both elbows on the table and rested his chin on
his folded hands to look at me. It was a pose that was purely Keith, and I'd
found it so sexy in the past. Now it was only familiar. I had to think
fast to figure out what I wanted to say and find the questions that I wanted
to ask.
"I want to know why you did it," I finally said after he remained silent. "Why
did you tell everyone that I tried to rape you?'
"Dustin, I can't apologize for that enough," he said, looking down at the
table. "I don't know why I did it. I was talking to Jeff Masters about nothing
in particular, and then he asked me about you, and it just popped out of my
mouth. I was angry at you when I said it. At least, I thought I was angry at
you."
"What were you angry with me about?" I demanded. "I'm
not the one who started anything that happened between us, Keith. I was merely
there for the ride."
"I know that," he said defensively. "That's part of what I was so angry about.
I wanted you so bad that day, Dustin, and I knew that you liked me. You'd told
me that you thought you liked me more than you should have, and I used that to
get what I wanted. I'm sorry for that, too. I know I was beyond a prick, and
if I could take it all back, I would."
"Why didn't you just talk to me about it instead of having sex with me?" I
asked. "You should have talked, Keith. I would have discussed your feelings
with you. You were my best friend in the world."
"I know that, Dustin," he said. "I know that you were the best friend I ever
had, and I threw it away like yesterday's trash. I know that I hurt you, and I
know that I'm responsible for all that's happened to you and your parents. I'm
so sorry for all of it, Dustin. I can't take it back, but I wish I could. I
wish I could take it all back, but I don't regret having sex with you."
"Why not?" I gasped. "You punched me in the face when it was over, Keith. You
started it, finished it and freaked out. Why?"
"Because I didn't want to be gay, Dustin," he spat. "I didn't want to be
that way. I hated myself for wanting you that way, and then I tried to hate
you instead. I tried to convince myself that it was your fault. I don't know
what I was thinking, but I know that I'm sorry."
"But you say you don't regret having sex with me," I said. "You don't want to be gay, but you don't regret having sex with me?"
"Dustin, I don't regret that you were the one I had sex
with," he replied. "I'm sorry that I hit you, and I'm so sorry that I reacted
the way I did. I didn't expect to like it so much and then feel so ugly and
dirty when it was over. I know what I am now, Dustin, and I can't change that.
I can't go back to the boy I was before that day, because all I think about is
that day all of the damned time. I think about how it felt to touch you . . ."
"I don't want to hear about that," I snapped. "I want to know why you branded
me a rapist, Keith. You still haven't answered that question."
"I don't know the answer to that," he said. "I know that I was stupid, and I
blamed you for something that you really had nothing to do with. I know that
much. I just don't know why I said what I said to Jeff that day. That's how it
started, and I tried so hard to take it back, but he just wouldn't stop
telling people. I even denied it when people asked me. I tried to make Jeff
out to be a liar, but everyone believed him.
"They didn't believe that you had tried to rape me," he continued. "They
believed that I told Jeff that, though. I betrayed the only person in the
world who ever really cared about me, and it spiraled out of control so fast,
Dustin. I couldn't stop it once it started. Believe me, I tried so hard."
He was crying now, and that was a shocking event. I hadn't expected that at
all. I only wanted to know why. I wanted to know why he had taken my entire
life in his hand and crushed it. He said that he didn't want to be gay, and he
blamed me for making him feel that way. I could almost understand that. I knew
that it was bull shit, but I could almost understand it.
He was right about one thing. I had wanted him. I'd wanted him for so long,
and I was so shocked to find out that I hated every part of having sex with
him. I didn't understand what that meant at the time, but I did understand it
when he sat there at my table. I loved him, yes. I loved him like the best
friend that he was. I'd only thought I wanted more out of our relationship,
but the reality of it proved me wrong. I didn't want the fantasy to
become reality.
"You hate me now," he said. "I know you do, but Dustin, I love you. Not the
way that I know that you love that Phillip guy, but I love you. I wish that we
could go back and be the way we were before all of this happened. I wish to
God that we could. I know it isn't possible, but I really do hope that we can
at least find a way to be some kind of friends."
"I don't hate you, Keith," I said slowly. I didn't really hate him. I was
angry as Hell with him, but I didn't hate him. "I don't know what will happen
between us now, but I don't hate you."
"You don't want to be my friend anymore, though," he said, wiping his eyes.
"I don't know if I can be your friend now, Keith," I admitted. "I know that
we'll never be as close as we were. Charlie and Phillip hate you, and I can't
blame them for it at all. I just know that somehow, I don't hate you."
"Can we try to be friends again?" He pleaded. "I know I don't deserve it, but
please, Dustin, can we try?"
I had to think about that for a second. Did I even want to be his friend now?
I wasn't sure. We'd been friends for so long, and I really did miss him from
time to time. I didn't miss him as much anymore, though. When something
happened, I didn't automatically want to call him and tell him about it now.
Still, we had been friends for a very long time, and I wasn't sure if I wanted
to completely throw it away.
"I can't trust you now, Keith," I said finally. "I don't know what kind of
friendship that would leave."
"I can try to gain your trust again," he said. "Please, Dustin. I can't
stand not talking to you any more."
"How would you gain my trust again?" I asked completely out of curiosity. I
didn't think he could actually regain it, to be honest.
"I don't know," he admitted, looking down at the table. "I could try, though."
"You say you love me," I replied. "How can you love me when you lied about me
to everyone that would listen."
"I only said that to Jeff, Dustin," he said quickly, snapping his head back up
from looking at the table. "Jeff's the one who spread it everywhere."
"You told my father!" I spat. I wouldn't stand for lies. If he wanted to gain
my trust again, he was doing a very bad job.
"No, I didn't," he replied. "I swear that I only said that to Jeff. I don't
know who told your mother, but she called my house to ask me about it. I
wouldn't answer her question. Dustin, I told her that you and I weren't
getting along. I swear that's all I said to her. I never even talked to your
father."
"Then how?"
"I don't know," he said. "I swear I don't know, Dustin."
"Wendy said that you were telling everyone," I said, remembering the
discussion that I had with her at Tommy's.
"No, I wasn't," he said. "Wendy got in my face about it, and so did Tommy, and
I told them that it wasn't true. I never said those things to anyone but Jeff,
and that was bad enough."
"So, Jeff was the one that spread that rumor all over the school?" I asked.
"Jeff was the one who repeated what you said, and somehow my mother found
out?"
"Yes," he said, nodding his head. "I really didn't spread
the rumor. I shouldn't have said that to Jeff, but I was very upset when I
talked to him. I know it was stupid, and I'd take it back if I could, but I
can't. Dustin, I'm so sorry."
"My mother is back, you know?" I said, changing the subject.
"I saw her at the grocery store," he said. "She wouldn't even look at me."
"What I'm saying is that if you did tell her anything, she'll tell me when I
ask her," I informed him.
"Then I have nothing to worry about, because I didn't tell
her anything other than what I told you," he insisted.
Just then, Charlie and Phillip came home with Jason. I didn't want to
find out just how civil my brother and lover would be to Keith, so I told him
that I needed to think about things. He didn't say anything to anyone other
than me as he left, and that was only to thank me for talking to him. I really
did have to think after that talk. I didn't know what I would come up with,
but I knew that he really was sorry for what had happened. What I wanted to
know was if Jeff Masters was really the one that had spread the lie around
school.
"So you had your talk with Keith," said Charlie, sitting down at the table
with a bottle of juice in his hand. "How did it go?"
"I'm more confused than ever," I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands. "He
says that Jeff Masters is the one who spread the rumor, and he denied it to
everyone who asked him."
"Well, I know he wasn't the one who told Mom about it," said my brother. "She
told me that she overheard a few kids talking about it at the grocery store,
and Keith told her that you guys weren't getting along, but he wouldn't tell
her why."
"I don't want to talk about Keith right now," I said before telling them all
about the greenhouse. I told them about the loan that we got, and their eyes
about popped out of their heads. I quickly explained that Shirley had actually
gotten the loan and that Mike Andrews had helped, but we were set for a while.
Shirley called a little while later to tell me that power
and water would be turned on in the morning, and she said that we should get
started right away. Carl was already at the greenhouse measuring the panes of
glass so he could get more to replace the cracked ones. She said that as soon
as we got the sprinklers working and the place was cleaned up, she was going
to start buying seeds and soil to start getting plants and flowers ready.
That following Monday, the greenhouse was cleaned up, and the sprinklers had
only needed to be flushed out. Jason and Danny helped to repair the
cracked cement in front of the building, and they taught us a few things about
doing it along the way. We got busy really fast, and the new customers were
all very excited about the coming services that we would be offering.
The first week of August, Meg bought the house across the street from Tom and
Shirley. She was sure that once her house in Maine was sold, she'd have this
one paid for, and she announced that they would be flying back to Maine to
pack in three days. Carl told us that he was having his car driven to
Storyville instead of driving it himself, so it would be a while before it got
there. Until then, Meg told him that he could drive the car she would buy when
they got back to Storyville.
Two nights before they left for Maine, my mother came to supper with me,
Charlie, Phillip and Meg. Meg wasn't exactly impressed with my mother, but she
was cordial. Mother did her best to not even bat an eye when Phillip kissed me
in front of her. I could tell that it wasn't something that she was happy
about, but she hid that with a smile. She asked questions about the business
and what our plans were for the future all through the meal.
She did confirm for me that Keith never told her the lie that Jeff Masters had
been spreading. Exactly what he'd said that he told her was what she told me,
so I had a little more to think about where Keith was concerned. Wendy helped
me learn that Jeff was, in fact, the one who started the rumor at school.
Keith was guilty of telling him the lie, but he wasn't the one who spread it
all over school.
Phillip was gone for a whole week right before the school year began, and I
missed him like crazy. Charlie suggested hiring Keith to help us while
Phillip was away, and I was more than shocked that he'd suggested it. It
seemed that my brother had almost completely forgiven him once we'd learned
the truth. Keith had never been big on any kind of work, but he worked his
butt off on the lawns, and when Phillip came back, I decided to hire Keith
permanently.
We never were as close as we had been, but we were at least friendly. We even
invited him over from time to time, and I was actually happy for him when he
started to date Frank Peirce. Frank was home from the Army on a medical
discharge. He'd been hurt in Iraq, so he wouldn't be going back. We had supper
at Tommy's just about twice a week until school started, and I was really
working on being a better friend to Tommy and Steve.
Tommy and Nick started to hang out alone off and on, and I was shocked when
Tommy told me that everything had been resolved between them. It seemed that
my friendship with Keith wasn't the only mended friendship in the mix. We all
went to Wendy's end of summer party, and she'd even invited Keith. I'm sure
that was partly because of Frank, but she was nice to him the entire night.
The night before school was to start, Phillip and I stayed at the apartment.
We'd been spending a lot of time at Meg's house, and I was really getting
comfortable with Meg and Jason. She'd gotten her divorce from Paul. It had
been a little scary at first, because Paul's lawyer told the judge that Meg
was promoting a morally depraved lifestyle to his sons, but once the judge
heard full testimony, Paul wasn't even given visitation rights. Of course,
Carl, Jason and Phillip had testified that they didn't want anything to do
with their father.
Against my better judgment, I enrolled at Storyville University with Carl,
Frank, Keith, Vince, Maria and Charlie. My major was business (that was
Shirley's idea), but I had several classes that were directly linked to what I
was doing with my business. It seemed that everything was going really well
for me. It was far from perfect, but it was close enough for my comfort.
I had Phillip, my relationship with my best friend was mending, and my mother
was at least trying to accept me for who and what I am.
The End
I want to thank all of you who have sent email about this story. It took longer to write it than I'd intended, but I finally finished it. Dustin will return in Storyville 2, so don't worry about him. You'll find out what happens to him, Charlie, Carl, Jason, Phillip and Keith. I want to give a special thank you to Bruce for editing the story for me. He'll be editing the new stories as they come, and I have ideas for about three besides the sequel to Storyville. Some of them will be a bit darker than what you're used to from me, but I hope you'll all like them.
Julien Gregg