Date: Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:12:57 +0000 (UTC)
From: Bill <mgtbill@aol.com>
Subject: DYLAN'S SENIOR YEAR AT COLLEGE Chapter  60...part 3 The final days

DYLAN'S SENIOR YEAR AT COLLEGE

Chapter  60... The final days

Part  3

by  Donny  Mumford

As Robby and I shower together, I'm feeling different somehow. I feel
really good, but it's more than that. It's like I'm glowing. Seriously, I
feel like I'm glowing! And yeah, I know that's something you hear brides
say, but I don't mean it like that. I'm not a bride and won't be one, so
forget that. Rob and I will both be grooms.

It's more like I feel Robby and I are 'special' somehow and we're 'glowing'
as a couple, radiantly glowing, and I mean right now in the shower together
we're glowing.  We're a special couple but, no, I don't mean we're better
than anyone else, just that we're special to one another and we're gonna be
a special married couple because we're, um, or... oh fuck, I don't know
what I mean. We're glowing, alright?

Sure, the 'glowing' has a lot to do with the absolutely perfect sex we had
a little while ago. Robby turned what was going to be a hungover
drag-of-a-day into a special day and I tend to go overboard when my life is
percolating along just right. I get carried away at times but this
afternoon's special lovers' sex, two extraordinary and memorable episodes
of making love, the best sex ever... that's a valid reason to get carried
away!

Yes, Robby has been getting better and better with our love-making the last
week or so, but he took it up a couple of significant notches even further
this afternoon. It'll make you glow fucking in the most awesome way
imaginable and even though we fell asleep for a while afterward, the memory
is still brilliant in my mind. I'm still fixating on the extraordinarily
excellent way he did everything. He was confident and dominant but, at the
same time, his love was so obvious it was maybe the best sex I'll ever
have... I can't imagine having better sex than we had this afternoon. Rob
almost always does sex his way, so yeah, that qualifies as 'dominant'
according to my revised sex-fantasy guidelines it does.

This morning, in addition to being wicked hungover, I was also feeling
depressed because Chubby and I said goodbye to our epic extended childhood
last night. My mood was negative this morning and I was resigned to a
crappy day and, as a matter of fact, Rob and I started off slightly grumpy
with one another too, although nothing serious. Neither of us was feeling
great as we went out to have brunch.

It was an okay brunch, breakfast actually, and after eating we were smoking
in the parking lot when Robby started asserting himself... started turning
a shit day around. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me against his
side showing anyone in the vicinity that we're boyfriends, and from then on
he continued doing things his way which eventually turned this downer-day
into a perfect 'first' day for the rest of our married lives together. A
tad prematurely considering we're not married yet, but close enough and I'm
wondering if today I experienced just the tip of the iceberg as far as
Rob's potential for fulfilling every fantasy I've ever had. Well, I'm
obviously referring to my altered more realistic version of my earlier
fantasies. I wouldn't want my seventeen-year-old fantasy lover... not now I
wouldn't!

Hmm, I think the 'look' in my eyes must be revealing my thoughts because
Rob just gave me a little smile and wraps his arms around me giving me a
squeeze. I'm hugging him back stupidly hard until he chuckles and pulls my
arms away, murmuring, "I saw that 'look' in your eyes. You are so perfect
but, babe, we need to start washing before the friggin' hot water runs
out." Yeah, it's great water pressure, but this apartment has a small hot
water tank.

Picking up the shampoo bottle, I'm like, "I'm starting to think I'm in love
with you, Robby." Laughing, he takes the shampoo from me and pours some on
my head, saying, "Hey, that's a very encouraging sign. We might actually
make it all the way to the altar." As he's rubbing the shampoo in my short
hair, I go, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure we'll get there, husband to be." Then,
he sort of yells at me, "Christ, Dylan, are you two years old? Close your
eyes, this isn't baby shampoo!" I close my eyes, muttering, "That's what I
was just about to do..."

Jesus, I can't believe I left my eyes open to get soap in
them... dumb. It's just that I'm flabbergasted at how awesome I'm feeling!
And how about the way Rob bossily snapped at me just now... that was
awesome too! It's my old 'thing' about being taken care of, that's why I
liked Robby snapping at me like that... he was concerned and looking out
for me. I've been wondering if this weird concern I have about feeling safe
and being taken care of, a concern I've had for years, if it could be a
result of Chub and I growing up mostly on our own. No criticism to the
moms, they had no choice, but it's that subconscious situation again where
it might have left a mark on my psyche, ya know?  Chubby did the best he
could at being our 'adult', but come on! Ah, hell, who knows why they are
the way they are?

Also, I wonder could it be when I lost my crush on Danny, did all those
intense feelings transfer immediately to Robby and proportionately
increased my devotion to him? It's like, hmm... it's hard to put into
words, but I'm deeper into Rob, appreciating him more and feeling more in
love with him than ever before in my life. Perhaps saying farewell to the
last of my dependence on Chubby has something to do with it too. It's like
there was open space, metaphorically speaking, in my heart or subconscious
that's been quickly occupied by Robby demonstrating his elevated
'in-charge' leadership. Most recently, heh heh, his confidence before and
during our fantastic lovers' sex that was off the charts this
afternoon. Yep, it all feels like a new beginning.

And, I've been thinking I need to do my part better moving forward
too. Robby flicked that switch and established ironclad guidelines for us
and I need to show him I support all his plans for us. He's my lifeline
now... um, what'd he just say to me? I'm like, "What was that, Rob? I was
doing a little daydreaming and didn't..." He chuckles and stands me right
under the showerhead, mumbling, "Daydreaming again, huh?" Sputtering water,
I go, "Hey! Don't act like I'm always daydreaming, that's insulting!" He
goes, "Jeez! I'm sorry, Dylan... just kidding! Um, anyway, you're as clean
as you're ever gonna be, and now you're rinsed off as well. Go ahead and
step out of the tub so I can wash real fast. The water is barely warm now
and losing what's left of its warmth quickly."

Huh, he totally washed me while I was daydreaming? Jesus, Rob's impressing
the shit out of me! As I step out of the tub and grab a towel, Robby rubs
shampoo in his hair, saying, "Close the damn shower curtain, Dylan! Water
is getting on the floor!" Jeez, he snapped at me again! Yeah, well, I'm
acting like a fucking airhead again. Get a grip!

I pull the curtain closed, muttering, "Sorry," and dry myself while trying
to snap out of this 'glowing' daze I'm in. As he's quickly washing, Robby
says, "If you're planning on doing Danny's haircut this afternoon... it's
getting late, babe." Hell, I'm still drifting on a cloud thinking about our
great sex earlier while Rob, obviously, is totally back to practical
matters. I go, "Huh! Um, yeah, you're right, I'm supposed to do that. So,
you're not getting a haircut?" He mutters, "Right. You said I don't need
one." I finish drying, muttering, "Well, fuck it then, I don't feel like
doing Danny's haircut." Rob mumbles, "So don't do it, but you ought to call
him and tell him..."

Hmm, normally I'd jump at the chance to give Danny a haircut. It's kinda
strange I'd rather hang out here 'cause we have nothing to do. I mean, we
just fucked twice forty-minutes ago so we're not doing that again this
afternoon. I don't care though, I don't feel like going out... and why am I
still standing here?

Rob turns off the shower, and mumbles, "Whew, babe, how about that super
hot sex we had before our nap?" Oh good! I'd like to talk about that. I'm
like, "Sizzling hot! You were so awesomely in charge, Robert!" Stepping out
of the tub, he goes, "Yeah, I was, wasn't I? Um, but do you think you're
overdoing the 'husband' routine just a little. We're not married yet."
Yeah, I am overdoing it, but it's new and it's fun. I mutter, "I'll put the
brakes on the 'husband' routine if you want," and he mumbles, "Maybe just a
little..."

Oh well, it appears reality is back in play for real so what I need to do
is deal with Danny's haircut situation. I'll make up a bogus excuse,
um... it's getting too late today or, um... some bullshit about we'll have
more time tomorrow morning. I'll play it by ear.

In the bedroom, I get my cell phone off the desk and call Danny telling him
tomorrow morning is better and blah, blah, blah. Naturally, I then need to
listen to him bitch at me for a while but we eventually agree I'll do his
haircut tomorrow morning. He says, "And listen to me, Dylan... you're
getting another haircut tomorrow morning too!" I go, "Honey, I don't really
need one, but whatever..." He laughs at that, and then says, "You're
getting one... whatever!" I guess I am if he says so, and I don't care. See
I'm already following Robby's lead... haircuts are an inconvenience, and
sometimes they're an unavoidable one.

Robby and I throw on some comfortable old sweat pants and t-shirts and go
into the kitchen. As he looks in the refrigerator, I'm leaning on the
kitchen bar staring at him. Why am I staring at him? Am I expecting Robby
to give me a pat on the back because I blew off a haircutting opportunity
with Danny? Huh, he's obviously not concerned if I do Danny's haircut or
not.

He takes a bottle of Snapple with him and now, looking perfectly content,
he's sitting over there on the sofa casually doing something on his cell
phone, and not paying any attention to me. After a silent minute, I go,
"So, um, you're my man, Rob! Hope you're up for it." He looks over and
snickers as he's mumbling, "I'm up for any-and-everything, babe. And, yep,
I'm your man alright... or so you keep telling me. What are we having for
dinner?" Good question.

Dinner, huh? All kidding aside, it's true that Robby really is my man now
that Chubby and I acknowledged our epic time together has finally come to
end. And it's not just that Chub and I won't see much of each other going
forward, it's that our adult lives are going in different
directions. That's extremely disconcerting so I'm a little extra clingy to
Rob right now. I know it's a transition period of sorts, although that's
apparently more obvious to me than Rob.

Hmm, dinner? We've been doing more eating 'out' than normal recently so I
need to fix us something here. I ask, "Um, would it be alright if I just do
burgers on the grill for dinner tonight, Rob?" He looks up and shrugs,
"Whatever, babe. Yeah, burgers sound good." He's still fucking around with
his cell phone texting or whatever. I stare at him feeling something funny
in my balls, something good. Actually, I want to go over there and hang on
him.

Nah, I don't do that though; instead, I get frozen burgers out and then a
few condiments before going out on the balcony to fire up the grill. After
putting frozen French fries in the over, I set a couple of places on the
kitchen bar and then go over and sit close to Rob, asking, "What are you
doing?" It's like his arm is on autopilot as he puts it across my
shoulders, saying, "I just sent a text to a preacher man confirming our
appointment to meet with him." I go, "Oh."

See, Robby's good with details. I'm looking at the side of his face,
murmuring, "You're very attractive." He looks at me with a smirk on his
face, saying, "Dylan, you can't possibly wanna get laid again." I pull
away, "Christ, Rob, I was just giving you a compliment." He laughs and
pulls me back against him, saying, "You're the extraordinarily attractive
one in our family," and he gives me a big smooch on the side of my
forehead. I don't know, but Rob seems to be getting more macho by the day,
and that's so fucking cool! He says, "Now... how about those burgers,
babe?"

Back in the kitchen, I put some olive oil, then salt and pepper on the
burgers. Taking the plate outside I drop the hamburgers on the preheated
gas grill. Yeah, I make my own beef patties. They're a third of a pound
each and, after flipping the burgers over, I'll put a slice of traditional
American cheese to turn them into cheeseburgers. I'll add lettuce, a tomato
slice, and sweet pickles... no, not dill. I use oversized hamburger rolls,
add some ketchup and mayo and that's my version of a cheeseburger. A minute
later the French fries come out of the oven, I add salt to them, and we
have dinner. I should have made a salad, but I didn't.

As we're cleaning up the dishes, I say, "Yo, Rob, when should I tell the
Rider twins I'm going to be working for you?" He goes, "You won't actually
be working for me, ya know?" I shrug, "Not initially, but anyway, I feel,
um, uncomfortable telling Tom, Tim, and the moms, ya know? It's like I'm
rejecting them, and..." Rob grimaces at a random shooting pain in his leg,
appearing startled for a second because he was thinking he was over his leg
injury. Ignoring it, he says, "Hey, I know you've got an awkward situation
there, but you really should tell them in person, and soon. Don't you
think?" Fuck, I guess so. This blows.

Rob gives my shoulders a hug, adding, "You'll handle it fine but don't say
anything about our date for the wedding, that's still between you and me
for now." I shrug, "Yeah, you told me that already. Um, will you come with
me when I tell them I'm not taking their job offer? Ya know, for moral
support." He goes, "Hmm, you need me there... really? It'll be kinda
uncomfortable for me too since you'll be working with me." I go, "Imagine
how I feel," and he nods, mumbling, "Let's see, first we need to pick up
our caps and gowns tomorrow morning, and then there's that dumb-ass meeting
later when they tell us what we'll need to do during Tuesday morning's
commencement practice, as if they couldn't tell us Tuesday morning."

Oh, fuck, that's right! We gotta do that tomorrow morning. Danny's gonna be
pissed I won't be able to do his haircut then either. Oh well, fuck that. I
go, "Come on, Robby!  I meant after doing that stuff in the morning."  He
goes, "I didn't say I wouldn't go with you, Dylan. Relax! I'm just thinking
out loud."

Jeez, that's the third time he's snapped at me in the last hour. Rob adds,
"So, um, after we do the other stuff, sure, I'll go home with you. Yeah,
but it'd be better, less awkward if we can go out to dinner. You know, make
it seem more, um, like a family thing and not just business. I'll pay for
it... the dinner I mean." Huh, it's hard to believe he used to be a
cheapskate.

I'm like, "Oh, yeah! Damn good suggestion! We'll have some drinks
too... that'll help," and then I add with a grin, "I knew my husband-to-be
wouldn't let me down, making me face this situation alone." He snorts out a
laugh and mumbles, "Heh heh, I couldn't think of a way to get out of it, or
I would have. And what'd I tell you about referring to me as 'husband'
every two minutes?" I'm like, "How about me? You call me 'wife'." He goes,
"Well, me referring to you as my wife literally rolls right off my tongue,
heh heh. Only kidding, Dylan. Anyway, I hardly never say it." I go, "Okay,
you're right, you don't." He comes, murmuring, "Don't get upset, wife," and
gives me a hug as we both snort out a chuckle. Then we kiss and, aw, that's
nice although borderline sickeningly sweet. Yeah, that's true, but it's
cool. I'm in a transition period and need Robby's support so I hang on him
a little too long. He gives me a funny 'look' and I go, "I love you!" He
says, "Love you too, babe."

Letting go of him, I'm thinking... Oh, balls, if we're going home after
that bogus meeting about Tuesday's commencement practice, I won't be able
to do Danny's haircut tomorrow at all, never mind not doing it in the
morning. Jesus, he's gonna be doubly-pissed-off at me!

It's Sunday night, which is a good time to call my mom so I call and, of
course, mom's at Tom's condo which works out well actually. I explain that
I'd like to talk about my plans for after graduation and also give them the
tickets for the commencement ceremony. Then I add, "What do you say we all
go out to dinner, Mom? Um, Rob's and my treat." That leads to more phone
calls and texts back and forth. The final plan is... Chubby will come
too. He'll come home with Rob and me sometime late tomorrow afternoon and
we'll all have dinner at Tom's condo. During my last conversation with mom,
I hear Tom in the background saying he'll do lobsters on the grill. Huh,
yeah, lobsters seem to be everyone's favorite, except for me.  Not being a
complainer though, I say to mom, "Tell Tom... lobsters will be awesome!"

Monday morning as we're picking up our mortarboard hat and flimsy black
gown for Wednesday's graduation ceremony I run into Danny. And, yeah, we
all had to buy the hat and gown but they weren't expensive... I think both
of them cost us nineteen dollars in total. We'll probably throw the gown
out after the ceremony and maybe keep the hat. Anyway, I tell Danny I need
to go home after the commencement meeting so I won't be able to do his
haircut any time today, and I'm very sorry! Shit happens though and
something unexpected came up and... And he gets this pissed-off expression
on his face, saying, "Well, the hell with you then, Dylan. I'll have Specks
cut my hair." I snort out, "Oh, sure you will."

We're holding the packages with the hat and gown as Danny abruptly starts
to walk away, but I grab his arm 'cause I feel bad, and say, "Don't go,
Danny! I said I'm sorry. And let's be honest about this, you've canceled
out on me doing your haircut a half dozen times yourself. I'll do it for
you tomorrow, I promise!" He frowns at me again. Yeah, he's not used to me
not doing what he wants. I'm like, "And don't forget about that picture
your mom's gonna take of you at graduation?" He goes, "Okay, you got me
there. Let's be clear though. No changes, you mean definitely tomorrow,
Tuesday, after commencement rehearsal, right?" I go, "Yeah, absolutely! You
can count on me, honey!" He laughs, and then says, "Goddamn, now I'm
starting to really like when you call me that." I mutter, "Well, you just
ruined it for me," and Rob calls over, "Let's go, Dylan! C' mon!"

When my future husband calls I better start getting my ass in gear,
haha. Rob was talking with some of his ex-teammates though, so I don't know
what the rush is. Momentarily forgetting Danny likes me calling him
'honey', I tell him, "See ya tomorrow, honey," and then jog over to Rob as
he's bumping fist with his friends.

Patting his back, I mumble, "Here I am!" He smiles and says, "Okay then,
good," and as we walk away, he adds, "You know what? You're looking cute
enough to eat." I mumble, "Go ahead then, bite me," and he goes, "Speaking
of eating, call your brother and see if he wants to join us for lunch after
this bullshit meeting. The three of us can decide when to leave for your
future stepdad's place."

I'm taking out my cell phone, muttering, "Good idea, husband," and Rob
goes, "Stop calling me 'husband' every two seconds! That reminds me though,
it won't be long before you'll have other new, um, titles to remember in
addition to 'husband'. You'll be my wife, and... aw, that's so sweet of
you, Dylan!" I mutter, "Did that roll off your tongue," and Rob goes,
"Sure, it feels natural already, but you'll also soon have a step-dad,
which is new and then my parents will be your in-laws, Dodger will be your
brother-in-law, and a new last name for your mom. Oh, and the biggest, most
significant change is you'll be Dylan Dickers." I mutter, "Yeah, no shit,
husband," and Rob goes, "Hell, they're all new to me too, plus Tom will be
one of my in-laws along with your mom." Holding my phone, ready to call
Chubby, I'm like, "That's right. That in-law shit... yeah, I never thought
of that, but when Tom's my stepdad he'll be your
father-in-law. 'In-law'... that sounds sinister, doesn't it?" Rob goes,
"Nooo!"

Chub's somewhere in this huge mass of people picking up their hat and gown
but I don't know exactly where so I call and arrange for him to meet us at
Fuddruckers after the meeting. Rob and I decide to hang around here holding
the packages with our robes and mortarboard hats until the meeting starts
in an hour or so. We're talking with guys we know from our classes and then
buy cold drinks from some enterprising freshman who selling drinks from a
large cooler he and a friend carried down here. Later we sit through the
commencement meeting, which turns out to be a total waste of time. A
meeting to talk about another meeting tomorrow. Afterward, we drop off the
hats and gowns and then meet Chubby at Fuddruckers.

Taking our time eating lunch, the three of us agree to leave for home at
four o'clock. Then Rob and I kill a couple of hours at the apartment. I
guess technically I could have done Danny's haircut now except Rob and I
are showering again, separately this time, and getting ready for tonight's
dinner at my future stepdad's, plus I don't feel like doing Danny's haircut
and, anyway, he doesn't know I haven't left for home yet... so, no
problem. And, where the fuck did my crush on Danny go?

With me driving, we pick up Chubby and then I drive to Tom's condo arriving
a little after five o'clock. The Rider twins have apparently been busy
beavers putting together a great dinner starting with appetizers of
littleneck clams and small oysters on the half shell. Lots of them and
they're super cold sitting on a large bed of crushed ice along with big
boiled shrimp. There are containers of cocktail sauce, a small bottle of
Frank's hot sauce, and lemon wedges making for a pretty display... really
classy, ya know? I'll have some of the shrimp but, thinking about how hard
it was gagging down a couple of raw clams recently with Chubby, no thanks
as far as on the clams and oysters!

In addition to the lobsters, the guys are gonna be grilling filet
mignons... surf and turf. That's what lobster and steak are called on
restaurant menus. Plus there's a big salad bowl and Tom's usual fantastic
side dishes. During appetizer and cocktail hour I tell Tim and Tom, with
the moms listening, about my job situation and they're all wicked
supportive, and no hard feelings, and best of luck to me, and blah, blah,
blah. I can't help thinking I saw a sigh of relief from Tim and Tom when I
told them I wasn't accepting their job offer. That may have been my
imagination.

We're all drinking Old Fashions, another supposedly old person's drink,
with Tim telling me, "Okay, then it's on to plan 'B', right Dylan?" I go,
"Maybe," and then after dinner with all of us drinking more than we should
and, with a wine glass in his hand, Rob announces he and I are getting
married July fifteenth. Ha! He told me not to mention that! I give him a
'look' but he just laughs and says, "Well, we are." He can't hold his
liquor to save his ass.

Omigod though, we get lots of congratulations about our upcoming wedding
and Tom breaks out two bottles of champagne. After toasting Rob and me four
or five times, Tim goes, "We weren't going to mention this until we get
confirmation about the reservations, but they're just about guaranteed,
right, Tom?" Tom nods holding up his champagne glass and Tim tells us the
date is June twentieth for their weddings and it's definitely gonna be Las
Vegas. More toasts to those guys, and the cork from the third bottle of
champagne pops. As we all get smashed, they try talking Rob and me into
joining their wedding plans making it a three-bagger in Las Vegas. It
sounds exciting at first but Rob and I have just enough brainpower left to
politely turn that invitation down. They'll be glad we did when they're
sober tomorrow.

None of us are sober now though so we do not drive back to college. Rob and
I sleep in my old bed at mom's condo and Chub sleeps in his mom's
condo. The condos aren't far from Tim's and Tom's condos where the moms
will be staying the night. My little turn-down-the-job-announcement was
only one in a night of announcements which couldn't have worked out better
for moi. Booze can make unplanned shit like that happen.

Tuesday morning it's hangovers for Chub, Rob, and me... nothing new about
that! Hungover or not, we still need to drive back to college for the
commencement rehearsal. We're up early enough, all of us groaning and
bitching but we eventually get on our way stopping only at Dunkin' Donuts
for drive-thru coffees before joining the morning rush hour traffic. It's a
tedious drive back to Merrimack with much grumbling from our driver,
Robby. We finish our coffees and then Chub and I doze on and off during the
ride. Still, we get there in time to participate in the graduation
rehearsal.

The rehearsal and the actual commencement are taking place in Duane
Stadium, the football stadium. There are like 5000 chairs set up on the
field, which is much nicer than having us 1764 graduates and our guests
sitting in the bleachers. There's been a temporary stage erected with a
podium and chairs for the speech-givers and so forth, as well as steps on
each end of the stage where one by one our names will be called and we'll
walk up the steps at one end, walk across the stage to receive our diploma,
and then go down the steps at the other end and return to our seat.

Chubby, Rob, and I are like zombies all morning going through this inane
procedure as if we're all morons who need to practice going up four steps
and then off the stage at the other end. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot that
most of the confusion centered around getting everyone in alphabetical
order... 'nightmare' doesn't adequately cover how horrid that exercise was.

Whatever, we survive the rehearsal and then go to Fuddruckers for
lunch. Fuddruckers again because it's nearest the college. We all have a
beer with lunch, although none of us really want one. It's peer pressure,
the beers are. Yeah, ninety percent of the people in here are our fellow
seniors from Merrimack and everyone has a beer toasting each other whether
we know one another or not. The biggest loudmouths in the place are female
seniors. Just saying...

We saw Danny at the rehearsal and obviously, our plan to do his haircut is
put off until later. We agree I'll be at Danny's dorm at four o'clock to do
his two-month overdue haircut and, like yesterday and Sunday, I'm still not
thrilled about it. That's so unlike the way I would have been in the
past. I don't know why that is, probably because I'm hungover and my crush
has evaporated and, frankly, I can't wait to get past graduation. All I
want to do is lie around doing nothing for a couple of days. Do absolutely
nothing! This past week or so there's been too much celebrating and too
much alcohol which is apparently mandatory when celebrating, and I'm
exhausted from trying to keep up with it all.

Anyway, after lunch, believe it or not, we all go to Rolf's Bar along with
most of the guys and girls from Fuddruckers for more celebrating. A lot of
other graduating seniors had the same idea and consequently, Rolf's is
jammed packed when we get there. I'm not keeping up today and I'm not
having a good time not keeping up. When we've been here for almost two
hours of constant loud talking, cheering, and laughter, everyone
congratulating each other even though we've all congratulated the piss out
of each other already, I'm checking my watch again to see if it's time to
leave for Danny's dorm yet.

I haven't been keeping up with the celebrating because I need to be sober
to do Danny's haircut. For the past two hours, I've carried a bottle of
warm beer around like a prop and now, finally, I'm looking for someplace to
put it down when Rob comes up to me and says, "Look at the time, babe. Ya
better take off for Danny's, don't ya think?" That's what I was planning to
do. I nod my head and Rob hands me the fob-key to the pickup, as he adds,
"The sooner you do that, the sooner we can get the hell out of here and
take a friggin' nap." No shit.

He looks me in the eyes then, and says, "Come right back after you do his
haircut, okay? I wanna get to the apartment and crash. We both need to get
some rest." Rob's eyes are very pretty. Yeah, but I've known that for
years. I've known it seemingly forever, but ever since he flicked the
switch I've been captivated by everything he does and almost everything
about him. I've been in this dreamy Robby-frame-of-mind pretty much all the
time. So, yeah, as for coming back here right after I do the
haircut... I've got no problem with that. As I start to leave, Rob grabs my
arm, and adds, "So I'll see you back here in what, fifteen minutes or so?"
I mumble, "If not sooner," and he pats my shoulder, and off I go. He's
drunk...

I'm stone-cold sober although some remnants of this morning's hangover
linger on, so while I am sober as a judge I'm not feeling great. Outside
the bar, I inhale the fresh air and then get in the pickup only then
realizing I've got a boner in my pants. Holy shit, that makes me grin to
myself. I probably sprung a boner when Rob gave me instructions to get my
ass back here in fifteen minutes... oh, man, I like that take-charge
attitude.

Yeah, I'm impressed all over again at how he did his no-nonsense
flick-the-switch... it's totally enthralling me. Ya see, what he told me
inside was... no buddy-sex with Danny this time! That's what the 'come
right back here' meant. So I guess Rob will overlook me having buddy sex
with Danny sometimes, but not all the time. And who knows how much longer
that'll go on? He told me the other day he'll wait for me to decide I'm
done with side-sex and buddy-sex but he did say he's getting impatient, and
I got the distinct impression his patience is running out.

Right now I'm pretty much okay with anything Robby decides because for
years I've had this vision of a strong in-charge lover and Rob's turning
into that vision, although I admit I never thought my imaginary confident
slightly dominant lover would be my 'husband' and me his 'wife', that's
true. Still, I'm okay with it. In the past, I simply didn't think things
through as far as that. Robby thought it through though, and I do not think
I'm fooling myself when I say I'm pretty sure I'm almost definitely good
with everything. Frankly, I can't wait until it's official on July
fifteenth. Then I won't need to wonder if I'm ready for it or not because
I'll be 'in it' then, and there's no turning back from commitment. When I
commit to something, I stick to it! Ya know, as best I can.

So, I'll do Danny's haircut and get back to Rolf's Bar right
after. Hey... why wasn't Danny at the bar? I haven't seen him since the
rehearsal. Well, yeah, but that's not unusual. Nah, he knows lots of guys
to celebrate with, and the vast majority of 1764 graduates weren't at
Rolf's Bar either.

When I get to Danny's dorm room and try the door... it's locked. I knock
but I sense he's not in there. Hmm, it's very tempting to just go back to
the bar, pick up Robby, and drive to the apartment for a long nap. Nah, I
can't do that after promising Danny so, hmm, should I wait here? Well,
obviously, I'll text him! Before I can reach in my pocket for my cell phone
I hear loud laughter and then a cheer coming from a room down the hall. I
walk down and peek in the open door. Yep, Danny's in there with a dozen
guys and girls, half of them without much in the way of clothing
on. They're all drinking and obviously playing some form of strip
poker. Strip poker? Gee, I haven't played strip poker since I was like
nine-years-old. Hmm, females aren't supposed to be in here, not that anyone
cares.

When I lightly kick the molding around the door Danny, who's not far from
the door looks up and sees me. Big shit-eating grin from Danny as he waves,
so I give him a 'look' and he stands up and comes over, whispering, "Just
let me play a couple more hands. That cute guy with the red hair only has
two pieces of clothes left, his undershirt and underpants, so I..."
Interrupting him, "Danny, get real! Come now or forget it." He goes, "Oh
fuck!" and without saying anything to anybody he picks his hat, sneakers,
and socks off the floor and walks out the door. As we're walking down the
hall, someone yells, "Monday! Where the fuck ya going, dude?"

Ignoring that, Danny says, "Jesus, baby, I'm seriously wicked tired!" As
soon as he unlocks the door and we're inside his room he sits right down in
the barber chair, and I mumble, "We're all wicked tired, Danny. Thank God
tomorrow's graduation. I'd probably be hospitalized if there was another
day or two of celebrating." As I put the barber cape around him, Danny
says, "Um, I decided I want a longer, only slightly longer version of the
haircut I give Rob, okay?" I mutter, "Yep," and that's all we say about
that... which is fucking amazing!

Even though I wasn't excited about doing this, I end up having a very good
time cutting Danny's long hair. I cut it kinda short although not nearly as
short as the haircuts Danny usually gives guys. I leave it a reasonable
length. His hair is clean today and he's always had really good hair
anyway, so it's fun cutting it. My haircutting technique is seriously rusty
though and I realized that right away. Sure, it surprises me but, hell,
I've only given three or maybe four haircuts in the last year, or it
actually it's been longer than that. I can't zip through using the clippers
like Danny does it.

I take my time and when I'm done, his haircut looks nice although I admit
it doesn't have quite the distinct special 'look' of Danny's haircuts. This
is a pretty good haircut though. I did have two big slip-ups using the
clippers in the back making two uneven, um, lines or shingles as I used to
call the mistakes when somebody else made them. And, Goddammit that pissed
me off too! I never used to make mistakes like that. Yeah, well, at least
Danny won't know about the two goofs I made on the back of his head, not
unless some prick tells him about them.

Giving Danny the handheld mirror, he moves it around, and then says, "Would
you get upset if I said it should be shorter all over, and it's very uneven
on the right side." I go, "It's a little late to worry about me being upset
since you just criticized the shit out of this haircut." He goes, "No!
Don't be like that, Dylan, but jeez, um, don't be afraid to cut some hair
off, baby... you're doing a haircut, not a trim. What's wrong, lost your
nerve for haircutting?" I'm like, "No, I'm simply not as reckless as you."
He shrugs, "Well, I told you I wanted the haircut I give Rob, only not
quite as..." I go, "I know what the fuck you told me, I'm not stupid! I
just didn't want to cut it shorter than you, um, wanted." He goes, "Well,
no offense, but this is the kind of haircut I used to get at Tony's
Barbershop on Broad Street. You can do better than this, right?" Well,
motherfucker!

Alright, now the pressure's on! I do his haircut all over again still being
conscious not to cut it too short but when I'm almost done I make a mistake
on the right side again and, oh fuck! Okay, now I'll need to cut it really
short to cover up the latest clipper slip. Jesus, I'm sweating now! Danny
must sense my tension because he's like, "What's wrong?" I go, "Not a
fucking thing. I'm doing what you told me you wanted,"... and a little more
too, but I don't mention that. And now I've got the added worry that this
is taking too damn long. Rob's gonna get the wrong idea. He'll wonder where
I'm at or, more likely... what I'm doing. Still, I need to go over this
entire side again and then match the other side with the short hair on this
fucking side! Goddammit! Okay, I take my time 'cause Danny will pick out
any mistake I make, um, that is, any mistake he can see.

When I'm done the second, um, I mean the third attempt at his haircut I've
got sweat in my armpits. Christ, the pressure! Danny holds out his hand and
I reluctantly pass him the mirror again and then hold my breath. He moves
the mirror all around again, still unable to see the glaring mistakes in
the back. He exhales noisily before saying, "Yes, this is better. I knew
you could do it. Now, just a minor, um, adjustment if you don't mind. Um,
you'll agree the sideburns need to be evened-out, right? And, um, I'm sure
you intended to finish the bangs. Um, what do you think, cut about another
half-inch off the bangs so they match the length of the rest of my hair on
top? And, I know when you do that you'll remember to comb up the hairs and
sort of pull the comb back some before cutting off maybe a little more than
a half-inch. That'll eliminate the blunt-look the bangs have now which
isn't too cool of a look... right? I know you know that of course, 'cause
you taught me about avoiding the blunt look." What, now he's a diplomat as
well as a freakin' expert barber? Jesus!

I do what he said because he's right. I overlooked that because I'm worried
how long this is taking. Oh fuck, the truth is I forgot that
technique. After I do that, and then even-off the sideburns he says he
likes my third effort, but I can tell he's not thrilled with it. Well, fuck
him! He can't see a couple of mistakes in the back, so they don't count,
and other than that this is a decent haircut and it used to be good enough
for him.

As soon as I take the cape off, Danny jumps up and moves me in a circle
getting me sitting in the barber chair. The cape goes over me and, without
either of us saying a word he does my entire haircut. It's shorter than
usual because I didn't need a haircut to start with. Ignoring that, Danny
does a complete haircut on my head just as if I needed one, and it still
only takes him like eight-to-ten-minutes and then, handing me the mirror,
he says, "That's how you give a guy a haircut."

It's short but looks perfect, and I actually like it better now than before
he cut it. He really should open a barbershop in Boston on ritzy Newbury
Street because he's as good or better than those guys who have the balls to
charge over a hundred dollars for a regular haircut.

Danny takes the cape off me, and I say, "It's a wicked good haircut,
Danny. Thanks." He says, "You're welcome. I look forward to doing many more
haircuts for you, um, if Rob doesn't get a bug up his ass and prevent
that." I'm like, "Why do you keep saying that? Rob thinks you're a great
barber." He goes, "Oh, you innocent baby, it's not about how good a barber
I am." Then he gives me a fabulous kiss that I gotta admit still registers
even without my crush on him. Feeling a little bit in a daze after that,
I'm sort of holding onto Danny as he says, "I've been thinking all day
about being naked in bed with you," and he starts to pull up my
shirt. Getting a grip on my senses, I step back and say, "I'd like to do
that Danny but Rob's waiting for me at Rolf's Bar."

He stops, smirks at me, and goes, "You're kidding, right?" Shaking my head,
I pull my shirt back down, mumbling, "No, I'm sorry, I gotta go but, um,
another time because I really want to be, um, what you said..." and I kiss
his lips real fast and walk quickly to the door with Danny saying, as a
question, "Dylan?" Turning around, I go, "Danny, please don't be mad at
me," and I'm out the door. Whew!

After walking down the hall a few steps, I decide I better jog the rest of
the way. Fuck jogging, I'm running out the front door and down to the
pickup. Then I drive too recklessly but get away with it and I'm back at
Rolf's forty minutes after leaving the bar. That's twenty-five minutes
longer than Rob expected I'd be, so that's not good.

And another thing, it's just now occurring to me that I didn't have much of
a fetish thrill doing Danny's haircut. That's so friggin' odd because his
hair was long and I got to cut it short. That would normally be a
boner-inducing sexy time. Jeez, not getting a vibrating boner doing that,
and then not getting one while Danny was giving me my totally unnecessary
haircut... well, that would never have happened in the past! It must be
that I wasn't sure of myself when I was cutting his hair, plus when Danny
was giving me a haircut I knew Rob was waiting for me at the bar and I knew
I was disappointing him. Yeah, the times they are a-changing, as that
scary-looking old rock singer once sang.

I move around Rolf's until I see Rob over there laughing with a few guys at
the end of the bar. It's so crowded in here now it's, um, it's stupid
that's what it is. As I start moving to him, elbowing my way through guys
and girls who won't fucking move, Robby sees me and bumps fists and then
hugs some guys and then comes through the crowd to meet me.

He pats my shoulder when we meet, and then mutters, "Let's get the fuck
outta here, babe." I'm like, "Sorry it took me so long, Robby. Danny
insisted on giving me a haircut too and as you know, Danny doesn't take
'no' for an answer." Rob looks at my head and then grins as he rubs the
back of his fingers through my stiff short hair, "Yeah, it's nice and
short. It looks good on you, Dylan." That's it? Huh, that's all he has to
say about that... no mention about how late I was getting back here? Jeez,
now I wonder if Danny and I should have... no, get serious!

With his hand on the back of my neck, Rob's guiding me through the raucous
crowd still favoring his left leg as we're slapping hands and
congratulating guys on our way out. The way he's doing the hand on the back
of my neck thing gives me a submissive sense like I'm being taken to the
middle school principal's office for being bad, and it makes my dick shimmy
in my pants. Then, it's nice being outside again, and so quiet too. We go
right to the truck with Rob mumbling, "You drive, babe," and I ask, "Is
your leg acting up again?" He goes, "No, my leg's okay, but I'm hammered."

While I'm driving us to the apartment, I glance at Rob who has his eyes
half-closed and I can tell he's as exhausted as I am... and, as he just
said, he's also drunk. When I park, he goes, "We'll take a nap now, if
that's okay with you." I go, "Christ, yeah, I can't remember ever being
this tired. It's the accumulation of too many days with hangovers, plus I
didn't sleep all that great in my twin bed last night." Robby goes, "Aw, I
did, babe. I always sleep really well when you're in bed with me," and he
reaches over to give my right shoulder a squeeze. Looking over again, I
grin at him but Rob's in the middle of a huge yawn covering his mouth with
his hand, his eyes fully closed. That makes me yawn too. Why is that, I
wonder?

I'm still into my 'nap' at almost eight o'clock that night when Rob shakes
me to get me to wake up. He says, "Dylan, we won't be able to sleep later
if we 'nap' much longer." He obviously just woke up too. He's sitting on
the edge of the mattress so I reach up and grab his arm, saying, "Make love
to me, Robby." He murmurs, "I can't now, babe. Let's eat something." I hold
onto his arm for a second longer and then let go and sit up, mumbling,
"Okay."

As I fix a late dinner for us, Rob's on the phone with his parents. I make
mac and cheese from scratch. We'll have that with a big salad. The mac and
cheese will need to bake in the oven for an hour though, and I'll put
frozen Stouffer's dinner rolls in during the last fifteen minutes. A simple
dinner, but we don't want a lot.

Waiting for the food to cook, Robby and I sit on the sofa, his arm around
me as he tells me, "Your mom called my mom and invited my dad and mom, plus
Dodger to join your family after graduation. The Riders have two limousines
rented for the day to take all of us... you, me, Jeff, Dodger, both your
moms, the twins, and my folks to dinner in Boston after the commencement
festivities. One of the limos will pick up mom, dad, and Dodger to bring
them to the college and, Jesus, my mom is all geeked-up about the
limo... haha. It is pretty fucking cool. When mom told dad about it, he was
like, 'Good, I can have a few cocktails and not worry about
driving'. Everyone's happy with the plan." I go, "Me too, but I wonder why
nobody told me about it?"

Rob's rubbing his finger back through my crewcut, and that feels good but I
can tell he's thinking about something and didn't hear me the first time so
I lean against him, repeating, "I'm glad you told me about the limos and
what's happening 'cause no one else did." This time he goes, "What? That's
impossible. Check your cell phone," and now he has a smirk on his face as I
touch my pocket and... no phone. Omigod, not knowing where my phone is,
well it's like losing my wallet. It's just as bad because it has all my
stuff on it, phone numbers, pictures, messages I saved, and all kinds of
information. I'm like, "Rob! I lost my phone..." He goes, "No you
didn't. You left it on the kitchen table at your mom's condo last
night. This morning I picked it up before we left." I'm like, "And you
didn't tell me?" He laughs and goes, "It wasn't on purpose! Seriously, we
were so fucked up this morning I forgot I had it. It's in the side pocket
of those cargo shorts of yours... the ones I wore this morning."

Oh man, what a relief! I get up and go into the bedroom and see my old
cargo shorts on top of the hamper. Yeah, I remember this morning we were
stumbling around with our hangovers, not caring about much except we wanted
something to wear. I'm excited as I go in the first pocket and then the
second pocket, and there it is! I pull out my phone. Yes!

Yeah, I remember Rob looking in my bureau this morning and not finding much
there because most of my stuff is at my other home. We did find old baggy
shorts and clean boxer underwear which we put on because neither of us
wanted to wear the wrinkled clothes we had on last night. My phone has six
missed calls and eight texts, two of them are from Chub and two from my
mom. Gee, I wonder what they want? Haha! The other calls and texts I
ignore.

Damn, how'd I not miss my phone all day? Oh man, if I'd gone in my pocket
for my phone outside Danny's dorm room I'd have been frantic when I
discovered I didn't have it! Hangovers suck! The texts and phone calls from
mom and Chubby are, obviously, about the plans for the graduation
ceremony... the limos, etc. Sitting at the desk I text and then end up
calling both Chub and my mom and they both convince me it's okay. They say
they misplace their phones all the time. I know my mom doesn't, but Chubby
certainly does. Everything is okay though, no problem.

Back in the living room I plop down almost on top of Robby and put both my
arms around his neck, saying, "Thanks, future husband, you saved me from
tons of anguish." He grins, "Well fuck, aren't you something! I mean, the
way you're sticking with the husband thing no matter that I keep telling
you to knock it off. It's a little bit early for that, babe. Um, I may have
mentioned that before." I go, "Yeah, you did but I like thinking of you as
my husband." He goes, "And all along I thought you were less than thrilled
about it. I was under the misconception you were only going along with me
being your 'husband' because I wanted you to." There's certainly some truth
to that!

I go, "Initially that was true, yes. A mature person such as myself,
however, quickly realized that when we're married, of course, you'll be my
husband. What else would you be? And so, yep, I actually like the idea now,
and I'm liking the sound of 'husband' more each time I think about it, or
say it out loud." He goes, "Nice! And the 'wife' part? How about that?" I
go, "Well, yeah, that was harder, but..." and he grins, saying, "Being a
super mature person." I go, "Yes, but let me be the one who says it,
alright? Jesus!" Then I continue, "Me being a super mature individual and
all that, I'm okay with being your wife! Any gay guy in his right mind
would be proud to be your wife, and I'm a gay guy, one who also loves you
to death, so..."

He smiles and hugs me as we do a lover's kiss, then another one. Three
minutes later Rob's got my pants down below my buttocks and, even though
he's still favoring his left leg a little he's still able to roughly get me
leaning over the arm of the sofa, and I mean roughly 'cause he's motivated
and he's strong! Then, without lube, he fucks me hard in balls-to-the-wall
fashion, really hard and fast. Omigod, I'm moaning and groaning in pain and
pleasure and sexual heat that I'll remember forever.

I'm guessing we both got enormously aroused by, I don't know, certainly our
making out but also maybe from that husband and wife discussion. I think
that did it for me. Yeah, the thought of being his wife got me extra hot
and maybe he got extra arousal by me sincerely acquiescing to his
wishes. Or, maybe the both of us just look for any reason whatsoever to
fuck 'cause we're a tiny bit oversexed. Either way, who cares?

But, yeah, it is enormously arousing to me the way Rob seems to have
flicked that switch. And I know I've mentioned that a few times too many
already, but the way he's casually and confidently being in charge, and
being a bit dominant about it of late, oh man, that's the perfect
combination as far as I'm concerned, and so, yeah, I'll be Rob's wife. That
flicked switch is turning out to be monumental to me.

As of right this second though I'm concentrating on the way Robby's
pounding his engorged fat boner up my ass. It's totally fantastic and I'm
seeing stars collide from the combination of pain, sexual arousal, and
pleasure. Omigod, and then my climax! A squeal bursts out of me while I'm
shooting a strong stream of cum straight out against the side of the
sofa. It hits so hard the cum splatters back onto my bare legs with some
splattering on my pants that drifted down around my ankles during the hard
fucking my ass was taking.

Rob's gasping for oxygen after that four or five minutes of exertion and
when he steps back pulling his fat sloppy cock from my ass a long stream of
his cum rolls out and runs down the inside of my legs. Robby smacks my ass,
"SMACK! SMACK!" splattering the drooling cum as he gasps for air, super
aroused to a degree I've rarely seen him before. Getting off the sofa's arm
I put my hand back to try catching some of the cum, saying, "Jesus, Rob,
that must have been a huge load of spunk." He nods, inhales again, as he
mutters, "It was large, yes! Felt fantastic too."

Glancing down at the side of the sofa, I shake my head. Rob puts his pecker
away without even wiping it off and then gets paper towels and kitchen
cleaner. There were already some stains on the side of the sofa and at
least one or two of them are Pony's cum shots, but that blast of mine
dwarfs the others.  Rob hands me the paper towels and cleaner as he nods at
that big blob of my cum. I'm like, "Yeah, it's a mess but look at my pants!
Your cum ran down my legs and pooled on my pants." He says, "Well, take 'em
off, babe. What's the big deal?" Then he grins and smacks my bare ass
again, "SMACK!" I jump and then mutter, "Those smacks felt good."

Reaching behind me I wipe the cum off my ass with a Bounty paper towel,
then the inside of my legs and lastly, the front of my legs where the cum
spattered off the side of the sofa. Stepping out of my cum wet underwear
and pants I do another shoulder shudder at a zipping after effect of that
ginormous climax. Naked from my waist down, my cock flopping around, I
kneel down and spray the kitchen cleaner on the cum stain and start wiping
it. Robby watches and then mutters, "That's gonna leave a mark," and then
he snickers and takes the spray cleaner from me and helps we wipe at the
stain. I think I said that same 'leave a mark' comment the last time Pony
shot off on the side of the sofa.

We do the best we can with the stain and then I take my jockey shorts and
pants to the bedroom hamper. Putting on clean clothes I'm back in the
kitchen remembering to stick the frozen dinner rolls in the oven and then I
sit close to Robby on the sofa again. His arm goes around me and I snuggle
against him as we grin at each other. Robby says, "Wasn't our no-lube-sex
the hottest!" I say, "Yeah, especially for you." Then I watch Rob send some
text messages. Omigod, do I ever love how he looks, and I know I put too
much importance on personal appearance... but look at him!

As we're eating dinner, I keep glancing at Rob and smiling without saying
anything. Robby finally says, "Christ, babe, we just did 'it' twenty
minutes ago!" I go, "I know, but I think you're so hot the way you've taken
over and you're so in-charge... and everything. Sorry, but I can't get
enough of you now." He chuckles and says, "I suggest you at least wait
until you take out that big life insurance policy on me before you make me
fuck myself to death." I mutter, "Very funny," and he says, "Seriously
though, it's not easy resisting you, Dylan, not with that 'look' in your
eyes." I go, "Well, don't resist then! Yeah, I know you gotta do most of
the work during our sex but that's 'cause you're the husband." He says, "Ya
know what, you cute fucker you, I could come right across this table and
fuck you again without breathing hard." I go, "Well, do it then."

He doesn't do it then, and later when we go to bed he doesn't do it then
either. Or at least I don't think he did. I wouldn't know because I was
asleep two minutes after getting under the covers.

When we wake up... its graduation day! We don't graduate officially until
one o'clock so we have the time and the inclination to do 'it' now, this
morning at nine o'clock. This time we do 'it' with Astroglide and it's
another hard fucking after which I'm wiggling my ass on the mattress
because it feels so fucking good being fucked that well. We lie in bed with
Rob's arm under the back of my neck and my head partially on his shoulder
as we reminisce about our four years of college and living together in four
different apartments, all of them, luckily for us, recently renovated
units. As we talk, I turn my head to stare at him and play with his hair
while he's lightly running his fingers over my body, occasionally flipping
my nip ring. Oh God, I feel so good! Yeah, that's right, I'm glowing again.

Forty-five minutes later we're hugging, not even kissing but we get boners
anyway and Rob fucks me with both of us on our sides, his arm over me to
hold me against his chest. It goes on for maybe ten minutes. Slow thrusting
for ten minutes or maybe longer until I start squirming and moaning. It's
an extremely slow build-up to climax with Robby never getting into
desperate thrusting until I start my whining moans, pushing my ass back at
his thrust which throws off the nice steady rhythm he had, and that felt so
good too, but I need to climax Goddammit!

My humping back at his thrusting causes his cock to pull out completely, so
he goes, "Fuck!" and he thrust his big fat hard sex organ back up my ass,
holds my back tightly against his chest and thrusts fast and hard... slap,
slap, slap, slap! It only takes twenty seconds and I go, 'Aaaaahhhh,
eeeeeiii, as a long stream of cum splatters against the sheets that got
bunched up in front of me. Rob keeps thrusting and another streak of cum
shoots from my boner and then I feel his hot stream filling me up back
there. There's some shuddering but we finally both relax and gasp for air
and then sigh.

Later, we're still lying here with me pressed against Rob's hot body, my
fingers playing with his hair again as sweat forms between us. Rob finally
mumbles, "If you think you can wear me out, think again. I'll happily fuck
you until we both need to call 911." I go, "My ass is sore now so I'm not
trying to get you to fuck me again. I like touching and being with you. Do
you mind?" Damn, I know that's pathetically needy-sounding but Goddammit,
I'm in one of my infatuation cycles! And, as I've thought before, it's the
infatuation I used to have for Danny that's now transferred totally to
Robby to go along with my love for him. That's a live-wire
combination... love, plus deep infatuation! And I know my hots for him also
has a lot to do with the 'talk' Rob had with me, so it's a shit load of
sexual stimuli I'm dealing with here...

He says, "Oh, well jeez... I'm sorry your ass is sore, babe. Anyway, I was
just teasing you. And nothing in the world makes me happier than you saying
you want to be all over me all the time." Lifting my head, I go, "Was that
sarcasm? I'm not 'all over' you. I'm touching and, okay, leaning on you a
little bit too." He goes, "Sarcasm? NO! I do like it... I love that you
feel that way!" I yank on his hair, saying, "But not necessarily all the
time though, right?" He goes, "You said that, not me." I crawl on top of
him, asking, "How 'bout this? Is this too much?"

Laughing, he dumps me off and mumbles, "Let's take another shower
together. If you bring the Astroglide I'll take that as a clue you want
your man, as you refer to me, to fuck you either before or after we bathe."
I don't bring the Astroglide because Rob's already fucked my ass sore... I
wasn't lying about that!

After our shower, I'm in my jockey shorts looking out the bedroom window at
a nice sunny day and thank the Gods for that because, as I said, the
commencement activities are taking place outdoors. The football stadium to
be exact and it's where we practiced yesterday which was as tedious a
couple of hours as I've ever experienced in my life. First of all, getting
the attention of all 1764 college seniors, many of them hungover, proved to
be problematic for those running the show. The constant overly-loud
instructions over the PA system during that process will probably
reverberate in my nightmares for weeks, maybe for the rest of my life.

Getting everyone seated in alphabetical order really shouldn't have been as
hard as it turned out to be. When that was finally accomplished, Jennifer
Aaron was number 1, and Melony Zembroski number 1764. Rob's number is a
fairly low one... he's number 400 as his last name begins with the letter
'D'. Danny's number is 886 with the letter 'M' and my number is 925 sitting
among students whose last names begin with the letter 'N', while Chubby is
in with the 'R' names at number 1499, and so forth.

They emphasized vigorously that we need to be at the football stadium for
commencement two hours before the first speaker will even utter his or her
first words of greeting to graduates and guests. So, we have fried egg
sandwiches and then I'm driving us to our assigned parking lot much earlier
than makes any sense but Rob insisted. There's a cluster-fuck of backed-up
cars at the parking lot's entrance. This parking lot is quite a distance
from the football stadium because an administrative asshole decided to make
all the parking lots on campus available for the 'guests' and I suppose us
graduates can pound sand up our asses if we don't like it.

After an agonizingly slow process, I get in the lot and park the pickup and
then it's a fifteen-minute walk to the stadium. I'm like, "Is your leg
gonna be okay walking back to campus?" Rob goes, "Yeah, I could have driven
actually, but you had the key-fob, so..."

We're part of a large group walking and there's quite a bit of grumbling
going on. It's kind of like maybe we're all pissed off about being assigned
the furthest parking lot, one that's not even on campus, and we're the
fucking stars of the day. Well, aren't we? Plus, the sunny day I was happy
to see forty-five minutes ago from our bedroom window is now too hot, and
with these idiotic robes on we're all sweating.

When we get to the stadium there are too many professors yelling too many
different instructions at the same time, but the loudest ones are telling
us to get in our assigned seats. Rob and I lightly bump fist and mumble,
"See ya," and make our way to our assigned groups within the 1764 folding
chairs roped-off in front of the stage... "FOR GRADUATES". Most of us are
looking at the slip of paper with our seat 'number' that we were given
yesterday. The rows of folding chairs are numbered so, duh, us college
grads should be able to figure this out.

Sitting with people whose last name begins with the same first letter as
your last name means that unless coincidentally your friends have a similar
last name to yours, for the next hour and a half or so you'll be with
graduates you don't know. Yesterday I had to exist within my 'N' group
which consisted of an abnormally large percentage of individuals who were
into much-too-much small talk. Small talk of an inquisitive nature... where
ya from? did your parents go to Merrimack? what's your major? what's your
sign? is that your natural hair color? do you know Grace Manweller, by any
chance? etc. etc. etc.. Two girls were especially on my case yesterday and
I'm trying to avoid them now.

Yes, that's right, I'm not a fan of 'small-talk' and I've got a 'puss' on
my face discouraging those who are. The exception to that is the cute guy I
finally hooked up with yesterday. Gary Nickols was his name and it was a
similar situation to the one in Rolf's Bar when I hooked up with a cute guy
named Ronny-something who was very interested in ice hockey, which I know
nothing about but pretended I did. At the rehearsal yesterday I was
exchanging inanities with this Gary Nickols guy. Gary's a gear-head,
meaning he's into cars and engines and auto races and whatnot. He had
embedded grease in the creases of his fingers. So did John Smith. He's the
guy I used to have lunch with occasionally last year at that bar. Well,
he'd fuck me hard in the storage room and then we'd have lunch.

And, noooo, I'm not into cars and engines any more than I was into ice
hockey yesterday with Ronny, but I pretended to be with Gary and it passed
the time, plus it kept small-talking, non-cute-guys and girls away when
they saw Gary and me deep into our 'gear-heads' conversation. I didn't mind
the boring car-talk as long as I got to stare into Gary's pretty green eyes
and watch his sexy lips move. The only bad thing about Gary was I think he
must have been too rushed yesterday morning to brush his teeth 'cause there
was a strange smell to his breath. It could have been alcohol-related I
suppose, or maybe he'd recently eaten a Slim Jim... who knows.

Anyway, today Gary's otherwise occupied and our seats aren't in the same
row anyway. That didn't matter yesterday but today a big mouth woman
professor is encouraging us to... "Get in your assigned seats, people!"
Even though we're all dressed casually under our gowns, because of the
unusually hot weather no one is wearing the hat. Most of us are carrying
our mortarboard caps with the tassels almost dragging on the ground. Alas,
without cute Gary to get my mind off things today I'm relegated to make my
way to my seat with the nerd group who have nothing better to do but sit
and talk about things, things I couldn't care less about. Even worse, in
the background Ms. Loud Mouth continues suggesting "You people wandering
around... you need to get to your seats now!' Lucky me, the 'N' name
students are in their seats already and, as I said, they're deeply into
small talk again which I'm not participating in although I can't avoid
hearing all the various mind-numbing conversations around me.

Sitting in the hot sun holding my square hat in my lap I'm passing the time
flipping the tassel in circles while contemplating that we're here to get
our diplomas and then, just like that, our college days are over and we
need to get on with our lives doing whatever it is we hope to do. It's sad
for me to be leaving behind any last remnants of my childhood but, on the
other hand, living with Robby as a married couple seems an exciting thing
to do. Well, except I have mixed emotions about that as I have about
everything, doesn't everyone have mixed emotions? I mean, nothing's
perfect, right? In any case, I figure I'll likely survive this commencement
ceremony and then be whooping it up and throwing my mortarboard cap in the
air with everyone else.

Checking my watch I see we still have almost a half-hour before things
start up which gives me time to wonder who the genius was who thought we
needed to be in our seats this early. Time crawls by and two lifetimes
later the band starts playing the Star Spangled Banner and we all stand up
and then we sit down and the speeches and awards finally begin and quickly
become only droning background noise to me until every now and then the
droning sound is broken up by short periods of polite applause and then the
band plays again and we're all standing again and after two more lifetimes
pass by, I hear the name Jennifer Aaron called and realize students in the
first row are already lined-up at the end of the stage and now the second
row just stood up. Oh, that's right, we practiced this yesterday. Jennifer
goes up the steps as the next person steps on the first step. See how well
they're following yesterday's instructions.

The next name is called and it goes quickly... up on the stage the
graduates quickly go to get their diploma from a woman I've never seen
before in my life. Even though they move quickly, it takes a long time to
call 1764 names and then there are a few jackasses who slow things down by
doing something idiotic when they get their diploma like a little dance or
mug a 'face' or gesture in some dumb way and, I suppose, one or two of
their friends think it was a hot-shit thing to do while the other 1761 of
us mutter "asshole" under our breath... and then my name is called and on
and on it goes...

It's all over now and, yes, everyone threw their hat in the air. I'm
picking up one now as I try not to step on others. I'm in the middle of too
many people milling around, both family and graduates looking for a
recognizable face while trying not to trip over the seats that are now
helter-skelter and not neatly in rows as they were. Almost three thousand
'guests' are looking for that one specific face, the only one important to
them. I myself am looking for someone, anyone, I know. We're all carrying
our diplomas and I don't feel anything right now... I'm numb. None of the
expected feeling of relief, or special joy, or anything has made its way
into my brain. Mostly I'm hot and sweaty. None of this seems right, does
it? I should be jumping with joy like these joyous graduates around
me. Huh, I wonder why I don't want to do that?

Everyone is smiling and happy and hugging and bumbling into people and then
I see Danny, but he's with some guys laughing while doing some sort of
goofy and complicated hand jive. I'm faking a smile and saying
congratulations to whoever says it to me, exchanging hugs with guys and
girls I recognize from classes who say my name and hug me as I desperately
try remembering their names. Oh, there's Chubby! He sees me and we make our
way to one another to hug with Chubby getting us jumping up and down, and
now I feel a little more like some of these other nuts... a little bit.

Chub's laughing and telling me about a guy in front of him who fell down
the steps on the other side of the stage. He was a very short guy and
stepped on the hem of his robe, his diploma flying out of his hand to land
into a puddle of coffee someone spilled. The word is he has a broken nose,
but with blood running down his face he held up his diploma, cold coffee
dripping off it, as he yelled, "I'm good, no problem!" I was feeling bad
for the guy until Chub mutters, "The clumsy fuck," and the way he said
that, and even with me feeling bad for the guy, I can't stop laughing. I'm
holding onto Chubby laughing hysterically, laughing way more than that
deserves but it lets out all the frustrations I was feeling...

Chub squeezes my hand as he says, "Jesus, bro, calm the fuck down," and I
follow him out of the stadium and through the crowd while wondering how the
fuck does he knows where we're supposed to go, and then we're in one of the
visitors' parking lots, the correct one it seems as I see Robby with his
mom and dad and then there's Tom Rider, and when we walk around one of the
two big black limousines parked here, there's everybody. I mean everybody I
care about. There's also everybody that everybody else cares about
too... the parking lot is teeming with people.

My mom waves at Chubby and me as she yells, "There they are," and we're all
hugging and I'm pretending to be like the rest of them, joyous and proud,
or whatever. Lots of discussion about how uncomfortably hot everyone was
and, Omigod, how long the ceremony was, and where are we going to meet up
after we change clothes, and where we're going, and then Mrs. and
Mr. Dickers are hugging me, and then Robby and I are hugging and... hugging
Robby I feel calm for the first time in almost three hours. He rubs my
back, murmuring, "Whew, I'm glad that's over. How ya holding up, babe?"
Everything seems fine now. I go, "I'm good, Rob. No problem."

It's almost four o'clock by now so no wonder I was a little fucked up there
for a bit, but being with Robby has magically made everything seem
okay. Damn, I find that so freakin' cool! He's telling me something as I
squeeze my arms around him nodding my head at whatever it is he's saying
and then, right here in the middle of all these people, Robby kisses me on
the lips, and says, "We'll have some fun now, huh, babe?" I go, "Um, yeah,
sure..." and when we let go of each other my lips still feel tingly as I
lightly touch them with my fingers. Huh, I just graduated college...

Sticking close to Rob, I'm beginning to feel just as good as everyone
else. We walk toward our pickup, a fifteen-minute walk that I don't mind
now because we're going toward the pickup and not away from it. As we walk,
Rob's telling me the times and places we're meeting up with everyone. I'm
not paying any attention 'cause, damn, it's great to be smiling. I
purposely bump against Robby a few times making him glances at me, asking,
"Do you want to hold hands? We can ya know, and fuck these people if they
don't like it." I shake my head and he goes, "How about that asshole Mike
Manski? Holy shit! That speech of his! I thought he'd never shut the fuck
up." I go, "Yeah, but overall the commencement rigmarole went pretty well I
thought." What a crock of shit that is but I want to seem positive, ya
know? I just freakin' graduated from college so I should be wildly upbeat
and positive!

It's another cluster fuck getting out of the parking lot's exit but we make
it back to the apartment where Rob pops the caps on two Rolling Rock
bottles of beer and we toast each other. We have one of our last smokes
ever on the balcony and I'm feeling better and better by the second and
it's because everything is calm and under control now that I'm with
Robby. He's got all the stuff we're supposed to do for the rest of the day
organized in his head and I get to hang onto his coattails and not worry
about a thing.

Sure, it sucks that I'm so fucked up! Don'cha think I know that better than
anyone? I suck for not paying attention to all the texts messages about
plans for later today, but then I don't need to be involved 'cause Rob
likes to do that sort of thing... organize and work-out details and
whatnot. I'm almost in a Chubby mode except he doesn't even need someone
like Rob taking care of everything. Chub simply doesn't worry about
anything so it's almost the same thing as me having Robby. Chub just laughs
and goes with the flow, doing his own thing at times and joining with the
organized plans eventually. It's so easy for him... life is easy for
Chubby.

After Rob and I finish our beers and cigarettes, we're sweaty from
everything we've been through today so we shower again together but without
sex and that's because we have timetables to meet and places to
be. Showered and dressed in upscale casual clothes we drive to meet up with
everyone in the Stop & Shop parking lot where the limos are now
parked. We're sort of dressed-up because the twins made reservations at the
Four Seasons hotel in Boston. They reserved a private room. No one is
staying overnight though, just dinner with champagne toasts then
drinks... whatever.

Even though Chubby told me he has a 'feeling' the twins might pay off our
college loans as a graduation present, when they actually tell us about it
I have tears running down my face thanking them as the significance, the
generosity of that becomes real to me. They hug me telling me they were
glad to do it for me and they love me like their brother... and they're the
greatest guys... the twins are the best! They really are, so I cry some
more... not sobbing, just quiet tears because, well, just
because... alright? Jesus, who knows why you cry sometimes, you just do?

There are many toasts to Chubby, Rob, and me and then a delicious dinner
and eventually I get drunk and Rob does too, plus he throws up, but all
night it's like I'm a 'star' and so are Robby and Chub... three shining
stars as though we three accomplished something no one else could possibly
have done. It's the best graduation dinner imaginable, and all made
possible by the fabulous Rider brothers who are so modest about it I love
them even more than before. It's hard pulling off sincere modesty when
showing generosity that's hard for me to even fathom, but those two do it
so casually it makes everyone comfortable. The moms are beaming too because
the twins are theirs... sort of.

Rob and I wake up in our apartment bedroom the next morning and, yes, we're
hungover... again! Robby holds his head and groans, then mumbles, "No
drinking for me ever again, or at least for a week." I say, "No smoking
either?" Like it's a question. Rob goes, "That too," and we both go back to
sleep.

Not feeling a helluva lot better an hour later, we get out of bed and do
some necessary things in the bathroom and then gulp down liquids in the
form of bottles of Snapple while we take more Advil and then, not even
wanting coffee we lie around in the living room not saying much until
almost four o'clock when we finally feel we need to eat something. Rob
heats up cans of chicken soup for us and when we get that down it seemed to
invigorate our appetites so I cook us scrambled eggs and toast.

While eating that, Rob says, "It's a damn good thing we had limo drivers
last night 'cause I don't think anyone was capable of driving." I nod,
mumbling, "When did Josh show up? Dodger's partner, Josh." Robby goes, "Oh,
yeah. He showed up at the bar after dinner. Dodger must have called
him. Christ, I wonder if he drove Dodger home?" I shrug.

That took all our energy and, without even cleaning up the kitchen, we lie
together on the big sofa again. The TV has been on for a couple of hours
and what garbage the programming is weekday afternoons! Lying here I'm
starting to remember good things about last night's awesome dinner. Jesus,
the twins are first class all the way. Oh yeah, and they told everyone
about their Vegas weddings plans, the details and how they've already
mailed invitations with everything we need to know. Their travel guy at
work arranged for everything. We'll be taking up most of the first-class
seats during the flight to Las Vegas. Our tickets are 'open' for the return
flight because the married couples are going on their honeymoon and it's up
to everyone else to decide when they want to use the open prepaid flight
tickets home. The adult-adults will probably return the next day but us
guys haven't decided.

All our parents and parents-to-be, plus Dodger made speeches during
cocktail hour about what awesome guys us three graduates are, then the
announcement by the moms of the twins paying off Chub's and my college
loans as graduation presents, the Las Vegas trip announcement, and then
Rob's unnecessary re-announcement of our wedding date... it all got mixed
up but it was a wonderful evening. Rob's grandparents would have come to
the commencement as would Josh and others, except the commencement tickets
were limited to two for each graduate. Chubby used one of John Beverly's
tickets for Dodger. The two tickets limit was the focus of lots of discord
among the graduating class. I mean those individuals involved in the
politics of the college. It had no effect on anyone I know personally. The
college's contention was that Merrimack is a small campus with very limited
parking and... whatever the fuck.

Yes, last night was memorable and after surviving yesterday, which is to
say the day after graduation, when we get up on Friday morning it's back to
dealing with the mundane matters of life. In this case, Rob and I are
packing our stuff to take home, which turns out to be a lot of stuff! Then,
after the hassle of packing up here at the apartment, and unpacking at
home, our plan is to do a luxurious nothing for the weekend.

As it turns out, we don't even leave the house all weekend. Most of the
discussion at the dinner table with his parents consists mostly of
rehashing our graduation festivities and then about Rob's and my wedding
plans. Mrs. Dickers is very interested in that and after Rob made it a
point to tell his parents he and I are paying for everything, Mr. Dickers
perked up and joined in with the conversation, mostly agreeing with Rob's
decisions that it be short, small, and quick. I happily let Rob handle
everything. The plans are simple and fairly certain, although not enacted
upon yet. Mrs. D. tries to talk Rob into expanding his plans for the
wedding, but Rob's not giving in. He plans to make it as simple, and short,
and small as he can while still getting the job done because that's what I
want... that works best for me.

After that restful weekend, Monday morning Rob and I are once again feeling
good and it's a beautiful day so we're sitting around the backyard pool
still chilling out. Robby's on his cell phone making inquiries and some
reservations for our wedding and honeymoon, still sticking to his guns that
it's gonna be an intimate and quick affair, but that still requires
planning... and his credit card. I actually think Rob agrees with some of
his mom's suggestion for making it a bigger event, but he knows how I feel
so he's going along with what I want, and not what he and his mom want.

As he makes his calls I'm thinking back to the very nice breakfast his mom
had for us this morning and how great a cigarette would taste right about
now. I picture Rob and I sitting here with two smoldering cigarettes in the
ashtray, the ashtray would be right there on that little table between
us. The red aluminum ashtray from the pool house. That's how it would have
been if we were sitting here the last time we were home.

Occasionally Rob interrupts my cigarette daydream asking me if I like this
or that idea for our simple wedding and each time I say, "Sounds perfect,"
and he then gives whoever he's talking with his credit card number and then
moves on to the next item on his list. These are final arrangements and I'm
okay with them even though, as I've said before, I don't see any particular
need for two gay boyfriends to marry. On the other hand, I'm not strongly
opposed to it either and therefore I'm going along with Rob because I like
to see him happy.

I said we were sitting around the backyard swimming pool but we're actually
lying more than sitting. We're on chaise lounges next to each other and I'm
now trying to think about something besides a cigarette, which is the
reason I'm watching Robby do his thing on the phone. I couldn't do what
he's doing nearly as well because I don't have that confidence in my voice
when talking with strangers about something I'm not familiar with, but then
I don't need to. Rob's quite happy doing it, so I'm happy too, everybody's
happy as far as I can tell.

Hearing the backyard gate squeak, I look over and see Danny and Hayden,
both bare-chested wearing swim trunks. Danny's is a cool surfer swimsuit
and, of course, Hayden's got on a ridiculous minimalistic Speedo suit with
his huge cock barely covered. The only hair on either of the two boys'
torsos is the fine hair of his 'happy trail' that runs down from Hayden's
belly button to disappear inside his Speedo. He does have very hairy legs
though which is a bit of a turn-on for me. Hmm, I wonder if that has
something 'subconsciously' to do with Chub and I shaving our legs as
teenagers? I never know what the fuck is going on in the subconscious part
of my brain, duh... obviously.

Both guys are carrying t-shirts and wearing flip flops but most of all I
notice the cute smiles on their faces. My dick stirs inside my surfer
swimsuit as they walk over to us. Yes, both of those gay boys can light my
fire! Surprisingly, today it's Hayden I'm mostly staring at because I
haven't seen him in a few months and I'd forgotten how his diminutive body
makes his large penis look even larger as it bulges out between his skinny
hairy legs. Oh yeah, both those boys are sexy hotties and I say that even
though Hayden is doing his swishy way of walking... Jesus! Haha.

I'm pretty fucking psyched seeing both of them, while at the same time it
hurts a little because I haven't had buddy sex with Hayden seemingly
forever, and the prospect of doing it with him in the future is remote at
best. As for Danny and me, it's been over three weeks since we did 'it'
last and our prospects for future sex don't look bright either. I glance
over at Rob and see him looking at me, so I nod my head mouthing, "I
know..." meaning my buddy-sex days with these boys has probably elapsed,
run out before I even realized it. There's been no definitive pronouncement
from Rob about rescinding our 'arrangement', but I don't like my chances of
a farewell fuck with Danny.

I'm still happy to see the guys though so I jump up and go, "Hi, guys!" Rob
gets up too and puts his arm around the back of my waist as Danny goes to
Rob and Hayden to me for hugs. Rob's arm slips from my waist as Danny says
to me, "Hi stranger," and then to Rob, "Dude!" and then they hug and start
talking about the graduation, and what Danny did afterward. Hayden pulls me
away a couple of steps hugging and then kissing me on the mouth.

I happen to know from experience the kiss I just got from Hayden was only a
quick preview of the kiss he's capable of. Then, his head tilted up to
grins at me, he says, "You get prettier every time I see you, Dylan. How
you been?" We rub lightly over each other's shoulders and sort of smile at
one another as we're stepping back a little. I mumble, "Good! I'm
good. It's awesome to see you, Hayden... how you been?" Yeah, I've got a
bit of a stiffy in my swimsuit thinking of the times this little dynamo
fucked me so awesomely, and our make-outs... Omigod! He's the best make-out
ever.

Yep, he's the best make-out ever and I never would have believed I'd ever
experience so much as a quick kiss with him when we first met. I'd never
have believed how fond of him I'd become either and seeing him now I'm
realizing I've missed him. Out of sight, out of mind, but here he is
looking kinda hot with his short hair. Weirdly, I actually miss his
long-girlie hair.

As friends usually do when they haven't seen one another for a while, we
stand here telling each other the usual stuff about how we're doing and
what we've been doing. Hayden nods at Danny and Robby who are now lying in
the chaise lounges, saying, "Christ, seeing Rob and Danny again I'm
realizing time is slipping away. I see those two and realize how long I've
known them... and now we've all graduated college. Jesus, is it just me or
is 'time' speeding up on us... does it seem that way to you?" I can hear
Robby telling Danny about dinner at the Four Seasons Hotel now, as I go,
"Speeding up? Fuck, no! Time almost stopped completely last week at our
graduation ceremony." He chuckles politely which is how we're acting,
basically... we're both being polite. It's a little awkward because it's
been months since we've seen each other.

Hayden's a few inches shorter than me so he needs to shade his eyes from
the bright sunshine as his head tilts up, telling me, "You probably won't
believe this, but I've dreamed about you, Dylan. Swear to God! Yeah, I have
literally dreamed about you and the dream was so real it was like you were
there." He glances over at Danny and Rob quickly, and then whispers, "I can
hardly wait to fuck that perfect ass of yours again like I did it in the
dream and it got messy in my boxers," and then he sounds slightly girlish
as he's giggling, and then asking seriously, "When do you think we might be
able to do that for real?" A quick memory of the last time he fucked me
flashes past my brain and I gulp before mumbling, "Oh, haha, as much as I'd
like that, Hayden, I'm getting married and I'm pretty sure my future
husband wouldn't like you fucking me." He goes, "Rob's never liked me very
much." I go, "I don't think it's that exactly."

Hayden goes, "Oh, darling, I was actually afraid you'd say that but I
respect you for it and, um... well, we're probably gonna do it anyway, heh
heh." Grinning at me, he adjusts his junk in that ridiculously tiny Speedo
as I chuckle too, and then mumble, "Your Speedo is a racing swimsuit, ya
know. It's not normally worn for casually lying around a neighborhood
pool." He does his grin, giggling again, before saying, "Yeah, I know."
Then he slowly drags one finger between my pecs down my belly, and just
before he can poke my stiffening dick, I push his hand away. He goes, "I
love that you referred to Rob as your 'husband'. Danny told me you'll be
Rob's wife and that's absolutely perfect for cutie-girlie you." I say, "Ya
know, Hayden, except for the 'girlie' word you threw in there, I remember
you alluding to things going this way for me the first time I met you."

He has eyeliner on but it's so expertly applied it blends in almost
invisibly. If we weren't in bright sunshine I probably wouldn't have
noticed. He takes my arm, saying, "C' mon, honey, let's sit down." We pull
two deck chairs together and sit as he says, "Yes, I remember when we
met. It was outside the movie complex and, Dylan, I knew two-minutes after
meeting you that you and I were alike, and I told you that. Of course, you
scoffed at the very idea you were like me but I could tell you were 'wife'
'material just like me. Your potential to become a little 'swishy', as they
say, was obvious to me."

Speaking of 'swishy', he's being very, um, let me put it this way... this
morning Hayden's deeply into his gay affectations act. Sometimes he is, and
other times he isn't. I shrug, muttering, "I don't know that I can agree
with you there, Hayden, but I'm beginning to realize you were right about
me being okay with being Rob's wife if that's what you mean. It surprised
me, but not you, huh?"

He grins, mumbling, "No, it was obvious to me." I go, "It's hard to believe
you could, um, see that almost a year ago, but you were right." He says,
"Actually, I'm gonna make another prediction and it's that after you're
married you'll be even more like me. When you're Rob's housewife, I
mean. You'll discover that acting a little more, um, feminine will get the
best out of your man." I'm like, "You lost me there 'cause I can only be
me, ya know?"

He goes, "You'll see. Little by little you'll be relaxing your 'straight'
act, which must be an exhausting thing to maintain anyway. When you let go
of that burden you'll discover more of your true gay-self that's inside
you. It's what you've subconsciously wanted to experience anyway, and I'm
predicting you will. Plus, you'll be pleasantly surprised at how relaxed
you'll start feeling being a little jiggy, a little swishy, lisp a few
words every now and then to showing your man your feminine side." I make a
'face', like... get serious! Hayden goes, "Yeah, I know! Who am I to advise
you about life? Insignificant me having the nerve advising a popular guy
like you. Thanks for not laughing in my face but I'm telling you, gay studs
like Danny and Rob get off when their girls are a little different than
they are." I'm like, "Uh huh, but Hayden, we're not girls."

He shrugs, "It's just a figure of speech, but seriously, acting a little
bit girlie now and then make our men feel more macho. Act helpless once in
a while too so Rob can feel he's coming to your rescue." I snicker at that,
so he says, "Okay, now you're laughing at me but that's because you're
letting your programmed societal prejudices overwhelm your true
inclinations." I don't say anything so he goes, "Maybe it makes you
uncomfortable hearing these things but I only wanna help prepare you for
what's ahead as Rob's wife, and there's absolutely nothing bad about it
anyway. Being gay is the only thing I'm better at than you, so it's all I
can ever hope to help you with."

I go, "Oh, Hayden, no!  I'm not better than you at anything. I love you as
a friend, but I think your ideas are, um, farfetched." He looks hurt so I
hold up my finger, saying, "However! You did just graduate from that
prestigious university on the west coast so I gotta admit you're smarter
than me and, because there's a small chance you know what you're talking
about, and mostly just for the fuck of it, I might take you up on your
advice to get a little swishy with Rob... just because you suggested it."
He goes, "I probably am smarter than you, haha," and he reaches over and
rubs my leg until I push his hand away, grinning at him.

What the fuck, I might actually screw around with Hayden's theory. I'm in a
place, a frame of mind I've never been in before. Yeah, I feel this joy
about everything but mostly about Robby and me. It's because of the change
in him, the flick the switch thingie, but more than that it's me willingly
agreeing to all Rob's plans for us. Heh heh, in my mind I've turned this
entire thing into a sub/dom situation. I've turned the whole experience
into me being submissive to my dom's wishes, and it's psyching me up
awesomely so I'm 'up' for almost anything.

The only serious concern I have about trying Hayden's suggestion is my
reason for doing it. Am I'm being a little 'pissy' about the 'wife' title?
That's why I'll act 'swishy' to prove some kind of bogus point? That would
be an immature attitude for me to take although, obviously, I can see how a
gay 'wife' might imply 'swishy' or 'girlie', but I'm sincerely not thinking
along those lines. I'm thinking it might be a fun thing to screw around
with on vacation.

Seriously though, I have been feeling differently about a lot of things
these past few days and, anyway, let me ask myself... what vast amount of
gay experience and superior intellect do I possess that makes my opinion
more valid than Hayden's? The answer is obvious, I don't possess shit in
either category. In fact, Hayden in certain areas is definitely smarter
than me and he's had more experience at being gay and interacting with
other gay guys in the last month than I've had my whole life! I don't mean
gay sex, I mean 'being' openly gay in every way and interacting with all
kinds of gay personalities.

I tap Hayden's arm and say, "Okay, how about this. What if you coach me up
on, um, a swishy move that I can try on Robby when he and I are alone. I'll
let you know what he thinks about it if he even notices." Hayden says, "The
only reason you want to try it when you and Rob are alone is that you're
worried what strangers might think seeing you doing it, right? You need to
stop caring about what everybody thinks and be as gay as you want." I
glance over at Rob and Danny. Wow, they both do look gorgeously macho, I
admit that.

I shrug, and Hayden goes, "A feminine side is inside you trying to get out,
Dylan. No offense, but you're a submissive boyish-looking gay guy
already. One who looks about eighteen I might add. That's a very good
starting point for letting yourself be, um, gayer. It'll seem much more
natural coming from you than say a mucho guy. It'll go with your pretty
face and ultra-slim body. Hell, you've done it at times already when you've
gotten submissive to me." I go, "What?" and he shrugs, "Yes, you're not far
from acting girlie when I've fucked you. You get super submissive." Looking
down, I mutter, "Really? I like to be submissive during dominant sex but I
didn't realize that's the same as being 'almost girlie'. But, anyway,
that's sex, not everyday life." Jeez, is he for real? I didn't realize
that... and I don't believe it!

Hayden says, "I'm sorry for sounding like I'm lecturing you, Dylan. Hell, I
don't know where I'm getting the balls to presume I can give you advice,
but all I'm saying is you simply need to let yourself be yourself."
Shrugging, I mutter, "I thought I was being myself already. Oh fuck, I
don't know but, okay, I'll try to 'let myself out' as you say, um, maybe a
little." He nods, mumbling, "Go for it, girl." I'm like, "Will you stop
with that 'girl' bullshit, please."

What if there really is more 'feminine', um, something inside of me than,
um, than the amount that's already come out? That's assuming some has come
out already, which if it has I was unaware of when or what it was that came
out. Oh balls, haha! Frankly, I don't think there's any 'girl' in me trying
to do anything, get out or otherwise, but as I said, I don't know nearly as
much about it as Hayden, so...

He moves his deck chair away from mine so he has room to spread a beach
towel on the grass, asking, "Do you wanna lie with me, Dylan?" Would I
trust myself doing that? Fuck, no! Trying for casual, I mutter, "No, I'm
good here."

Omigod, now he's spreading sunscreen on his hairy legs!" Okay, that's
making my dick get hard. I gulp, and say, jokingly, "Do you need help with
that, Hayden?" He's like, "Next time, sweetheart, I'm already done my
legs." He holds up the tube of sunscreen, saying, "Here, you can do my
belly." I go, "What? Nah, never mind!" He gives me a knowing 'look', and I
snap at him, "Why the fuck would I wanna spread sunscreen on you? I was
just being funny... do it yourself!"

My boner is as hard as a boulder but no problem because I planned ahead and
dropped a towel casually on my lap hiding the obvious tent in my
swimsuit. Fuck, I could go for a cigarette! I need some buddy sex
too... bad! Yeah, but I know this is part of the weaning process. It's
understandable I'm missing side sex considering my past five years of
having quite a bit of it. Weaning off something like sex is gonna take some
willpower for sure.

After a minute of silence, me watching his smallish hand rubbing sunscreen
on his well-defined torso I hear an unintentional gulping sound come out of
my throat and Hayden looks up at me, and says, "C' mon, help me with my
back." Pretending to be annoyed, I make a face, muttering, "Oh,
alright. Christ! You need a lot of help, don't ya?" He does his cute grin,
"Yeah, I do... hee hee. We can help each other."

Trying not to, I can't help grinning back at him as I get out of the deck
chair still holding the towel. When I take the sunscreen tube from him,
Hayden flops over on his stomach and, Omigod, look at that perfect ass on
him! Oh man, I can't believe I'm gonna do this, and I really shouldn't, but
I straddle his legs and sit on them, my boner almost touching his two
perfect mounds of buttocks. Blinking my eyes a few times, I take a couple
of silent deep breaths and imagine I'm sitting naked in a tub of ice
water. Under control now, I quickly spread the lotion on his back thinking,
I'd love to stick my boner in that perfect ass. Danny's so lucky! Hayden
mumbles, "That feels nice, Dylan."

Yeah, well, not to me it doesn't. My boner is achingly hard now. Quickly
finishing, I drop the tube next to him and get back in the deck chair
readjusting the towel casually over my boner again while wiping the
sunscreen off my hand, and whew! Taking a deep breath, I mumble, "Glad to
help." Hayden stays on his stomach, his head turned toward me as he's
murmuring quietly, "That gave me a boner... hee hee." I go, "Jesus, chill
out, will ya? Gawd, get a grip!"

I don't dare look at his ass or legs now and, wow, the willpower needed not
to stroke my hard cock is significant! Yes, I'm still freakin' horny for
side sex, and that's true even though Robby's never been sexually hotter or
more desirable than he is now, and he's never been a better or sexier lover
than he's been this week... I mean he's been fantastic! Holy shit!

Okay, Rob's been absolutely perfect but I'm still thinking about select
side-sex possibilities, ones I'm going to ignore of course, but the desire
is still present. Christ, sitting on Hayden's legs I had the thought about
my cock in his ass. If I had thought about his cock in my ass I'd have
spontaneously ejaculated in my swimsuit. Fuck, haha! Ya know what, I'll
simply keep weaning myself off these side-sex desires just like I'm gonna
do with cigarettes. Yep, that's what I need to do, and it's what I'm going
do too.

Hayden's eyes are closed as he murmurs, "The sun feels nice, huh?" Yeah, it
does, and then I hear Robby say he's gotta take a piss and, as I'm just
about to ask Hayden for a simple example of some subtle gay affectation
Danny surprises me coming up behind me. He rubs my head, saying, "Hey, nice
fucking crewcut, dude! Who's your barber? Haha!" Looking back, I grin at
him as he asks, "Where's my hug and kiss, baby?" I stand up, holding onto
the towel to cover my lap. We hug and kiss and after the kiss, Danny rubs
my ass and then puts his arm around me. I sort of slide down to sit in the
deck chair again.

Christ, with these two around me, both only wearing bathing suits, I'm
gonna need a harness for my boner. How the hell am I gonna stay totally
faithful to Robby when we hang-out with these guys? It's gonna be
exhausting, but I'm determined to abstain! Um, except for Danny... if we
ever get the chance, which seems unlikely.

Things settle down when Rob comes out of the pool house and the four of us
begin planning our trip of three nights at the Cape. Provincetown to be
exact because Hayden's mother has a friend who owns a cottage in
Provincetown. We can rent it cheap, but it's gotta be tomorrow, Wednesday,
and Thursday nights only. While we're talking about that my boner goes down
but not for long as the four of us jump in the pool for a childish
boner-inducing grab-ass swim.

Later, Rob fires up the gas grill and we have hamburgers and hot dogs for
lunch. The beers come out too, and it's a damn good time. Everyone is uber
relaxed and, ya know, there's a special way I feel relaxed, minus the
boner-inducing moments, when I'm with my gay friends and I mean gay friends
only. It's actually the best feeling ever and I love all three of them, one
way or another.

And then another concern. As I mentioned earlier, I've got a major problem
developing and it's that at least five times a day I've felt like smoking a
cigarette and I mean I've had the strongest urge for a smoke, not just a
passing whim... a strong almost overpowering urge! It's nicotine
withdrawal, of course. I actually dreamed I was smoking. It was a for-real
dream at night. Fuck, Hayden dreamed he was fucking me and my dream was
about smoking. What's wrong with that picture? I'm in the wrong dream,
that's what!

Anyway, the thing is, I refuse to admit my nicotine willpower-weakness to
Robby because he hasn't said jack-shit about cigarettes since we had our
last smoke on graduation day. He's got willpower like a steel trap and
while I usually do too, this is a 'habit' I'm dealing with. Habits are a
bitch, so what I'm seriously considering doing is buying a pack of
cigarettes, keep it hidden, and sneak one a few times a day to wean myself
off the nicotine without dealing with the withdrawal I've been
experiencing. That's how we should have done it in the first place, little
by little... everybody knows that!

The next morning the four of us drive to Provincetown in the pickup. The
macho guys in front with Hayden and I in the back seat. Hayden's still on
his 'I need to be swishy' kick so, with us smirking he's showing me subtle
limp-wrist ways he moves his hand doing things and a certain unnatural way,
unnatural for me, of moving my head. Affected mannerisms, in other words,
plus certain facial expressions that soon have me laughing my ass off and
that gets Hayden laughing along with me.

To get us off that, I ask him, "Hasn't Danny suggested you need a haircut?"
Hayden touches his hair, which is a basic regular-type haircut now, the
kind with a part on the left side. He says, "Ha, that was the first thing
Danny said to me when we met the other day. So, yeah, I'm letting him give
me a haircut when we get back from Provincetown. He tells me he's become an
excellent barber." I go, "He's right about that. He's an excellent barber
for sure, better than I ever was." Hayden touches my head, mumbling,
"That's an adorable, um, what type of haircut is that?" I push his hand
away, saying, "Crewcut," and Hayden says, "Well, darling, as cute as you
look with that butch haircut you and I need to grow our hair out,
especially you for your wife role. We should have much longer hair than our
men... as I had for years."

I go, "Yeah, what happened that made you get it cut?" He makes a girlie
wave of his limp wrist, saying, "All my wavy hair got cut off when that
silly but beautiful boy, Nickolas, talked me into getting this haircut at
the University Barbershop. It was during the first semester and I kept it
this way for him all through the second semester too. Oh, we fucked,
Nickolas and I, like there was no tomorrow after my haircut. That was quite
the night and then... well, never mind that now. It's you we're talking
about, not me."

When we get to Provincetown we have a helluva time finding the cottage and
when we do find it, the place looks like a dump. It's nice inside
though. Hayden says, "It's rustic." It's also small, and two miles from the
closest beach. The two bedrooms are literally eight feet by eight feet each
with only a thin wall in between, so thin Rob and I can clearly hear Danny
fucking Hayden in their bedroom while we're unpacking in our tiny
bedroom. Covering our mouths we're trying not to laugh when we hear
Hayden's girlie scream as he climaxes. I'm, of course, visualizing Hayden's
gigantic cock being super-fat and hard as cum spurts out of it... and I can
also picture Danny's boner in my mind as clear as day. My ass twitches as I
wonder if Robby might still think it's okay for us four gay friends to fuck
among ourselves... he was okay with it last summer. Hmm, I hesitate to
bring it up considering our wedding plans and whatnot.

And Danny fucking Hayden a minute ago gets me thinking about
Danny. Specifically, him telling me with no prompting from me, that he gets
a kick out of Hayden's swishy ways... he actually likes it when Hayden gets
into it, which is when Hayden feels like it. That's kinda weird. Both
things are, actually... Danny liking it and Hayden turning it on and off
randomly. Both things seem unusual to me, but what do I know?

Anyway, Danny's reaction to 'swishiness' is a small example of Hayden
knowing what he's talking about. His logic is simply that macho guys like
to see their boyfriends acting less macho than they are. I don't know, but
if nothing else, I could try swishy moves on Rob for laughs. That's the
worst that could happen... we'd have some laughs. My other thought is, I'd
been under the impression Robby never warmed up to Hayden because of
Hayden's sometimes girlie mannerisms. That was my assumption although I
don't recall anyone ever actually telling me that specifically. It could be
Robby didn't warm up to Hayden because Danny did, and Robby was jealous of
that because he had a crush on Danny. That's conjecture on my part going
way back to their young teenage years, obviously.

We have lunch at a place on the waterfront, which is another way of saying
downtown Provincetown. The waterfront is a bustling very cool place
although there seem to be way more tourists walking around than obvious gay
guys. Of course, except for Hayden, we're not obvious gays either and for
sure some of the tourists are gay too, but not obvious about it... and who
cares anyway?

There's no beach here so after lunch we need to drive to one. As soon as we
get there, Danny and Rob drop the cooler of beer and sodas they're carrying
and go running down to jump in the ocean. Rob's leg isn't bothering him and
actually, it hasn't been a problem for a couple of days now. Hayden and I
shake our heads when we hear the guys scream as they hit the cold ocean
water.

Hayden nods at the two guys, saying, "See how macho they are, and you
didn't go running down with them, did you?" I go, "No! It's too early in
the summer for that. Jesus, the water's still freezing cold and their
scream, when they hit the water, proves that." He nods, mumbling, "For
sure, anyway us girls need to set up the beach blankets and get the towels
ready for our guys when they get back." I go, "We're not fucking girls!
Jesus, Hayden! And, ya know, this is exactly how you were acting when we
first met." He says, "I'm trying to set an example for you!"

As we're spreading out the beach blankets, I ask, "What's with you
sometimes acting as swishy as the queen of gay affectations, and other
times you're as straight-acting as anyone?" He says, "I don't know, it's
whatever I feel like doing. I like to enjoy myself mostly," and then he
pulls my arm to get me to share his beach blanket. Lying together, Hayden's
covering his eyes with his forearm because the sun is very bright again
today. Unseasonably warm sunny weather for New England but I'm prepared and
have my shades on. Hayden rolls up on his side, and says, "Your body is
giving me a boner, Dylan. Rob's so lucky!" I go, "I'm the lucky one! Rob's
more awesome than ever. Lately he's adopted an awesome new take-charge
attitude too. Oh man, that's what gives me a boner."

Bumping my shoulder, Hayden goes, "Well, honey, he's taking charge now
because he's marrying you in a couple of weeks and he's preparing you to be
his wife, right?" I chuckle and then mutter, "You have a distorted idea of
Rob's and my relationship. He merely took charge a little bit in order to
eliminate silly matters we might otherwise argue about after we're
married." Hayden goes, "Sure he did. Ya know what I'm gonna do? I'm going
to call you every day to find out how well you're fulfilling your wifely
duties." I go, "Get outta here with that shit. I'll be working full time,
just like Robby!" He goes, "You'll see. That won't last long. You'll be at
home taking care of his baby and being Rob's housewife, and I'm guessing
that'll be within three months." I laugh out loud and he goes, "What's so
funny?" I'm like, "I believe babies take nine months, not three." He
shrugs, mumbling, "I meant within the first year. Rob's a traditionalist so
he'll want a wife and family to provide for. I'll bet that's one of the
things he made you agree with... didn't he?" I go, "He didn't MAKE me agree
with anything!" Jeez, Hayden has Rob down pat... haha.

Don't get the wrong idea about Hayden though, everything he's been saying
yesterday and today, he's said as though he seriously thinks it's
important, and it's said as one friend to another, and not in a
supercilious manner at all... quite the opposite actually. I don't know how
to explain this, but Hayden always speaks to me like he's not quite on my
level, like he's talking to a, um, superior or...  oh man, it's hard to
describe except to say he's definitely not being arrogant or talking as if
he's a know-it-all. He's always acted sort of deferential to me although
there is absolutely no reason he should. Hell, I don't feel I'm on his
level! I admire the way he's always been openly gay, and I mean from when
he was twelve-years-old. He's basically the nicest guy, and he wants to
help me understand this shit 'cause I'm having a hard time agreeing with it
even though I'm trying to be open-minded.

Tapping my shoulder, Hayden says, "I just know you and I are gonna be the
best girlfriends ever. When we're both married we'll get dressed up for our
weekly lunches, sneaking cigarettes behind our husbands' backs and drinking
cosmopolitans outside on that patio of the little French restaurant in
downtown Framingham. You and me, just a couple of housewives complaining
about our husbands who do not appreciate all we do for them." I'm like,
"Hahaha, right!" Then I roll my eyes, asking, "And who is your husband
going to be?" He's like, "If Danny won't marry me, Ronnie Baldassare
will... I hope." I go, "Who in the fuck is Ronnie Balls-aplenty?" Hayden
rubs his fingers across my chest and flips my nip ring, mumbling, "Never
mind who Ronnie is. Hey, where are you guys gonna be living after you're
married?" I tell him about Rob's condo that'll be ready for occupancy in
August. Until then we'll still be living at home.

He goes, "Wow, that's cool. Rob's a planner, and he was smart buying that
condo way back at a pre-construction price." Bragging on Robby, I go,
"Yeah, not only that, he negotiated a discount off the preconstruction
price 'cause Dickers & Son did the earthmoving, the roads, and all the
landscaping. Nowadays units like ours start at a hundred thousand more than
Rob signed up for, and that's for the condos without the water view we
have." Then I explain, "I say 'condo' but they say 'townhouse', and I guess
it qualifies as a townhouse because it's has a private entrance and there
are two floors and a basement. We'll have a big mortgage, but... ya know."

Hayden nods his head and says, kinda wistfully, "Rob never embraced being
friends with me, and that's even though I always admired him," and then,
with a chuckle, he adds, "Christ, he was a shy motherfucker when Danny and
I first met him. Rob was the new kid in the neighborhood actually and, heh
heh, he fell in love with Danny, but was so shy around us Danny didn't
realize it for months." I go, "Jeez, that sounds hard to believe. How old
were you guys?" He shrugs his little shoulders, "I guess we were all like
fourteen or probably thirteen when Rob first moved into the neighborhood."
Huh, so Robby lived there only four years when I met him, although what
difference that makes I have no idea.

Hayden goes on, "Yeah, and back then Danny loved me! Puppy love, ya know?
We were thirteen for Christ sakes. Anyway, I was like the leader among the
three of us back then, if you can believe that. Yeah, it was because I was
upfront about being gay and they were in the closet just learning about gay
sex, and asking me about everything. I'll tell you a secret, Dylan, they
were both," and he looks around before saying, "They were both sucking my
big dick in the beginning. No, wait... first, I got them jerking off and
then jerking me off. As I said, I was their leader, and then after the
jerking off, that's when I got them, one at a time, sucking my big
dick. They both wanted to learn everything, ya know?"

I'm frowning like I can't believe what I'm hearing, but I guess I can see
at that young age the most knowledgeable gay boy, or the most brazen, would
be the leader." I ask, "Well, when did that turnaround? No offense, but you
didn't seem like Danny's leader when I met you." Christ, the night I met
Hayden he was as far from Danny's leader as it's possible to be, never mind
Rob's. Robby mostly ignored Hayden.

Hayden does an odd facial expression that I have no idea what it's supposed
to mean and then says, "Oh, it was when they got deeply into those fucking
sports they love so much. They both started getting popular because of
baseball, and they played other sports too. I became a peripheral interest
all of a sudden. Well, Rob was the best known, but not the most popular of
the two. Rob became this big deal pitching star although it was hard to get
two words out of him because he was so shy. Danny, on the other hand, was
very popular. I don't know, by then they also thought they knew as much as
I did about gay sex, and then I went off to prep school too so me being the
leader definitely came to an end. All through the high school years I loved
and adored Danny but from afar mostly... except summers. He loved me too,
but he had so many straight friends it kinda ruined things for me."

Oh man, that's sad. I say, "I can't believe you didn't have lots of friends
yourself, Hayden." He shrugs, "During the summer I made friends with a
couple of fag-hags and they're still my friend but there's simply nothing
like guys, ya know? Anyway, me and Terrence are good friends. He's my
next-door neighbor, remember him?" I nod, "Yeah, he's a good guy."

Sighing, Hayden mutters, "I got picked on a lot because of my size, and
darling, I'm not talking about my penis, I mean because I'm so small I tend
to get lost in the crowd. I finally decided to bring a little attention to
myself by being flamboyant." I mutter, "Oh, uh huh," and he touches my arm,
saying, "I don't know if I've ever told you how much I adore that you like
me, but I can't help wondering if maybe you'd have snubbed me in high
school too. I mean if I went to the public high school, which I didn't. I
was picked on at prep school too though. The assholes!" Gee, that's sad
too. It's probably because he was openly gay at prep school and therefore
an easy target for bullies.

Then Hayden leans over and rubs his fingers back through my crewcut,
asking, "Did Danny give you this haircut?" I nod, "Uh huh," and he says, "I
like it on you but you have gorgeous hair and, as I said a little while
ago, you need to let your beautiful blond hair grow out." I mumble, "I
don't think Rob would want me to, but you were saying he never became close
friends with you. Why was that?" Hayden shrugs, "We were all young and Rob
let his jealousy of me cloud his common sense." Ha, I was right! Hayden
shrugs, adding, "I guess he wanted all Danny's attention, and you know
Danny, right? Omigod, Danny knew everyone and he was all over the place,
plus he discovered another gay boy who just needed a little push from a
confident boy like Danny. Oh my, what a lovely boy he is though, don't you
think?" I nod, "Oh yeah, lovely."

Hayden says, "Well, about Rob... I was always friendly towards him but he
rejected me. Now, all these years later, he finally is okay with him and me
being friends... sort of." I'm like, "How long was Danny, um, in love with
you?" Hayden's serious when he says, "He still is actually, but he can't
help himself. He gets flings of fancy about a cute face, like yours. So,
it's like, on and off Danny falls in-and-out of love. And you mentioned
about Rob being in charge. Ha! Danny's like that too, times five. Danny
insists on everything being his way." Yeah, I know!

I'm like, "So, you still think Danny will eventually marry you?" Hayden
goes, "Oh, I sure hope so, but not actually marry me... not the way you
mean. My best hope is Danny will want me living with him and I'll be his
housewife taking care of everything, plus I'll work too and undoubtedly
bring home a lot more money than he'll make coaching high school
ballplayers. Although, now that I think about it... hahaha, he'll have more
fun at his job than I will... if you get my drift." I go, "What? No,
Danny's not interested in sex with children!" Hayden says, "I know that!
That was me trying to be funny. I can never pull off being funny." I'm
like, "No, that was funny... sort of. I just didn't get it at first." He
smiles, "You're sweet. Anyway, Danny won't want to have children, but he'll
want someone he can fuck regularly and someone to cook and clean for him,
which is where I hope I come into the picture. But first I'm going to
Stanford for my Master's Degree in economics, so it'll be at least two
years from now."

Man, I didn't know any of that shit. I gotta wonder how much of it is
accurate and how much strictly from Hayden's viewpoint, a viewpoint that
may be very different from Danny's and Rob's. Hayden runs his fingers
through his hair, which is dyed red again, as he's saying, "Anyway, it was
wicked smart of Rob to buy that condo so he can move you out of his
parents' house, certainly before you have the baby. Mothers-in-law can get
bitchy about their beloved son's wife." I go, "Oh, what other
clichés or TV sit-com stereotypes can you tell me about?" He laughs
and goes, "Oh you! Anyhow, getting back to the point... I hope you'll take
my humble advice and at least try being more, um, for lack of a better
description, more feminine because, girlfriend, you'll feel more real, plus
your husband will appreciate the change as well."

>From now on I'm ignoring all his 'girl' references because he apparently
can't help himself. He makes a 'face' and adds, "I'm sounding like a know
it all and I don't mean to come off that way. I'm seriously trying to be
helpful. Tell me to shut the hell up if I'm out of line. Please!" I mumble,
"No, I'm finding all of this interesting, um, a little far out there, heh
heh, but I'm sincerely interested in learning a possible new way to be a
good, um, wife for Rob. So, don't stop." He says, "You're so nice. You've
always been the nicest person I know!"

Grinning then, Hayden reaches over to poke my swimsuit where my now
deflated penis is located but I again push his arm away, and say, "You know
what you're ignoring? It's that Robby and I have been boyfriends and lovers
for five years now, and as you said I'm not nearly feminine enough, but yet
Rob and I are in love and getting married. That would seem to indicate me
being the way I am has worked spectacularly." He says, "Yes, but you aren't
married yet. You aren't his wife yet, right?" I'm like, "Well, no, not yet
although I don't see why... um, okay, never mind that for now. Just for the
hell of it, what specifically do you suggest I do?" He grins that cute grin
of his, saying, "Ah ha, now you're using the brain in that adorably cute
head of yours." I go, "Maybe you've piqued my interest just barely enough
that I'll try something subtle."

He goes, "Well, for starters, as I said earlier, you need to act a little
helpless once in a while... that's subtle. Let Rob come to your rescue." I
nod my head, asking, "And exactly how would I do that?" He makes a 'face',
saying, "Omigod, I'd forgotten how fucking innocent you are, Dylan. I never
forget how cute you are and I just love you to death, but you don't have,
um, an ounce of 'wily instinct' in you. And I know why that is too, it's
because you don't hang out with nearly enough real gays. You know three or
four straight-acting gays but that's it. You're emulating straight boys too
much." I go, "I'm around straight-acting gays and 'straight' guys, yes, but
that's because there are a lot of straight guys around. And why do you
think gay guys are any more wilier that 'straight' guys?" He laughs and
then says, "Well, you'd know if you hung out with us more. But, yeah,
you're right, most guys are either 'straight' or pretending they
are. Besides you, Danny, and Rob, I also have another dozen gay friends or
acquaintances, and that's because I make a point of going places where gays
will be. Brilliant of me, huh?"

Shrugging, I mutter, "Rob and I don't care for the gay clubs we've been
to." He makes a face and goes, "Didn't Merrimack have gay/lesbian/ LGBT
clubs? Whatever, I'm gonna get you out to some gay clubs you'll like, I
mean whenever your husband allows you to have a girl's night out. Then
you'll feel free to be yourself." I go, "You tried that last summer and it
didn't work out all that well." He goes, "Omigod, I remember making-up your
face so beautifully that night. And you could use a little eyeliner on a
regular basis, dear. Dark eyeliner to outline those beautiful blue eyes of
yours."

I mutter, "Yeah, sure. Anyway, how about some subtle way I could try being,
um, did you say 'helpless'?" Hayden nods, "Uh huh, you need to act helpless
about something once in a while so Rob can help you. The macho gay 'tops'
eat that up!" I'm like, "Yeah, but helpless, how?" Hayden moves his head
close to mine, his nose almost rubbing my nose as we lie here with our
heads turned facing one another, and I can't help it... my dick tightens up
again.

Yes, diminutive Hayden turns into a sexy stud when he's fucking me! I go,
"Any suggestions" and then gulp as he rubs one of his hairy legs on mine,
the hairs dried now by the sun. He snickers and I'm barely able to again
ask, "What should I be helpless about?" My ass twitches as I feel the curly
hairs, soft against my hairless leg and then an involuntary gasping sound
comes from my throat as Hayden says, "You can be helpless in a silly
way... like you can't get the lid off a new jar of pickles. Use your
imagination." Moving my leg away, I mutter, "Actually, now that I think
about it, Robby helps me with lots of shit already." Then I turn my head
because I almost put my lips on his.

He looks around and then goes, "Holy shit, I hope none these people on the
beach can overhear our conversations. They might call the cops on me." The
way he looked around as he said that, and his small size, his sincerity and
that big cock of his so obvious in that Speedo, and his hairy skinny
legs... everything about Hayden makes me grin 'cause it's all, um,
incongruous. Seeing me grinning Hayden hunches his shoulders and starts
snickering and then I do too and it's like we're little kids talking
dirty. That makes me laugh and we get into a giggling fit and I don't
believe either of us knows why.

Anyhow, as I said, none of this, none of Hayden's bizarre ideas have been
said in an off-putting or know-it-all-manner. He grins and says everything
almost apologetically and, what the hell, I'm enjoying myself. It almost
seems as though our history together goes back much farther than last
summer. Hayden makes me feel inclusive in the relationship he, Danny, and
Rob have had going back nine or ten years, back when they were the only
three secret gay boys in their neighborhood. Well, Hayden wasn't a secret I
guess, and I'm sure neither Hayden nor Danny knew about Dodger, who was
another secret at the time.

Yeah, sex can create a sense of familiarity quicker than most activities,
and Hayden's fucked my brains out a few times creating our
familiarity. It's more than that though! We became friends after I got
'over' my initial judgmental problem of being a snob thinking he was
too-gay-acting to be a friend of mine. I hate that I was a snob about
that. I've learned not to be so judgmental since then, mostly through my
friendship with him, with Hayden.

And while his theory of swishy behavior sounds farfetched, maybe there's
something to it. Actually, I believe there is, but not nearly to the degree
he claims. Anyway, I'm committed to Robby like I've never been before and
willing to try different things, something new that he'll perhaps like. If
he doesn't I'll stop and what's the harm. I want to make him happy. That's
how I'll be happy because, like Robby said to me, I can't shine if he don't
shine, and all that. But, acting girlie? I don't know about that. It would
probably come off seeming fake when I do it, but as I said, we'll get a
laugh out of it if nothing else, and laughter is a very good thing.

Our entire conversation, from the time we spread the beach blankets to
right now, has been no more than eight to ten minutes and already here
comes Rob and Danny dripping wet. Of course, they flick cold water on
us. Why do people always do that? Laughing, they drag Hayden and me down to
the ocean... the cold Atlantic Ocean.

After almost having a heart attack at how cold the water is, I get used to
it. It feels good to swim and we have a really nice afternoon. We have
beers and later Danny and Rob take a walk on the beach and come back with
hotdogs for an afternoon snack. There was a food cart moving up and down
the beach. More swimming and sunbathing and then we're back at the cottage
by five o'clock drinking a few more beers while taking turns
showering. Refreshed, we go out to have dinner which requires driving into
crowded Provincetown.

It's still light out as we park ten blocks from downtown, which is the
closest parking spot Rob could find. We're walking in the street which
appears to be what most people here do, cars slowly making their way
through the people. Very weird arrangement although no one seems to
mind. Anyway, for the hell of it, I tap Hayden's arm to get his attention
and show him a few gay affectations I'm attempting, mimicking him. Danny
and Rob are in front of us as we continue walking down the middle of Main
Street, stores and crowded sidewalks on both sides of the street. Hayden
puts his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud, but nods his
head too, finally saying, "Yes, you looked sweet doing that, Dylan. That
looked natural too. Jesus, surprisingly natural."

Christ, I'm pathetic but that praise made me feel good so I do some more
'swishy-walking', or my interpretation of it anyway. It does feel kind of,
um, almost natural to me too. That's so weird! Then later, walking with
Robby this time I self-consciously try a few of my new moves imitating
Hayden. Nothing Rob notices apparently, but it's kinda cool too and then
Robby puts his arm around my waist pulling me against him as he asks, "How
ya doing? Having fun, Dylan?"

Hayden winks at me. Jesus, is he right? Well, anyway, if there's a place
where it's okay to be as gay as you want, it's Provincetown. There are a
lot of us in this town and I'm guessing we're all out tonight. Ya know,
giving the tourists something to gawk at and talk about.

We eat at a restaurant with tables so close together the back of my chair
hits the back of the chair behind me every time I move. It's very loud with
a very gay 'feel' and there's some kind of bizarre music playing too. Our
waiter could teach Hayden some swishy moves. He's young, but not cute. We
have beers before and during dinner. Later we're at a crowded club sitting
around a small table with all our knees bumping under it. There's a very
gay man singing songs while playing the piano. The songs are from many
decades ago. I overhear someone near us says, "Arturo does a killer
Sinatra," so I guess they're Frank Sinatra songs although I couldn't name a
single one for a million dollars.

By now we've all got a beer-load going for us, all of us slightly drunk
with Hayden and I acting goofily girlie and at one point, Robby says,
"Danny and I are gonna get another round of beers for us at the bar. Our
waiter is obviously too busy for the likes of us. You two, um, just hang
here at the table," and I swear, in my head, I heard, 'You girls hang here
at the table,' and I laugh out loud. He didn't say that of course, but I'm
having fun pretending to be swishy like Hayden.

After the bar scene, we need to sober up a little so we do some more
walking around Provincetown where many stores are still open after eleven
o'clock. Robby and I are holding hands as we walk and while I felt funny
doing some of the swishy stuff, overall, I've never felt more comfortable
than I have tonight here in P-Town. Danny and Hayden are walking in front
of us but not holding hands like Rob and I although we're not the only two
guys holding hands, not in this town we're not, and not by a long shot.

Yes, it's a great feeling to be totally relaxed doing what we want. We've
been getting hit on by older men regularly tonight but they do it in a
good-natured manner, not being crude or rude. And I'm wondering what it is
with gay men and dogs... yeah, lots of gay men have dogs on leashes. And,
maybe it's my imagination but Rob seems to be extra attentive to me
tonight... could it be the Hayden-effect? I don't know, but I gotta wonder.

We stop in a club with a band and I get Robby doing fast dancing. He's
remembering some of the moves I've taught him in the past but he's still a
terrible dancer. That's odd because anything athletic, he's great at but
dancing just doesn't work for him somehow. And, surprisingly, Hayden isn't
a lot better! Danny's an okay dancer... no one would give his dancing a
second look. When Hayden switches off from Danny to be dance partners with
Robby... well, it doesn't help that they're both hammered, but the less
said about their dancing the better. Danny and I got cramps in our stomachs
from laughing.

It's after one o'clock before we get to bed and Rob makes it obvious he's
anxious for us to have sex tonight. He seems uber eager for it. We decided
earlier in the evening that Danny and Hayden are NOT going to hear
us. After I do oral sex getting a really fat hard boner on Rob, using lots
of lubricant Rob's fucking me slowly. No slapping sounds as he murmurs,
"You were in such a good mood tonight, babe. Jeez, I love when you're happy
like this and having fun and showing me your love. Great time tonight,
huh?" Isn't he going to mention my goofy swishy stuff? I murmur, "Yes, it
was a great time, Robby. And it's easy showing you how much I love you."

Rob's definitely into lover's sex and we kiss as he's doing it. I've got my
legs pulled back exactly as I had them the other day, pulled back and
spread wide, totally docile and submissive for my lover and, oh wow, I'm
feeling deliciously submissive to Robby again. This past week to ten days,
since Rob flicked his switch, we've had the sexiest days of our lives
together. It's been fantastic sex and seemingly getting better and
better. I love it!

As I lie docilely on this lumpy mattress on my back with Robby's face close
to mine, his hips steadily thrusting his boner I can't even begin to
describe how good everything feels, how good I feel. My arms around the
back of Rob's neck and it's otherworldly wonderful. His hips continue a
steady thrusting until I pull his head down to mine and hold on for dear
life as my orgasm builds to scary proportions. We climax together with
Rob's mouth on mine to muffle my squeal.

Afterward, we hug and do long deep kisses with Robby being very gentle,
whispering, "You're so sexy, Dylan. Ya know, babe, this past week has been
our best sex ever, and everything was perfect today, and we graduated from
college too! Holy shit, are we ever on a roll!" Naturally, I'm wondering
what, if anything, being swishy the times I tried imitating Hayden has to
do with Robby being so gentle and attentive tonight. We kiss and Robby
goes, "Tonight was fabulous and so will every night for the rest of our
lives, Dylan."

Before going to sleep I think of an earlier concern I had. I was worried
I've been hanging on Rob too much the past week or so, ya know, concerned I
was annoying him by being too clingy but he appears to enjoy all my
attention and he's showing me a lot more attention of his own too. This is
a special time, a new beginning. Robby and I soon will be husband and wife
with unlimited sub/dom possibilities so, yeah, I'm ready for that now and
forever.

All three days in Provincetown are fun. Hayden and I do our kinda swishy
things, me getting bolder about it, but as far as I can tell our guys, for
the most part, either don't notice or don't care. Occasionally I'd get a
grin or chuckle out of Robby and a couple of time he got his arms around me
laughing, pulling me against him, asking, "What are you up to, Dylan?", but
that's the extent of it. It's fun screwing around being goofy with Hayden
and the fact he felt he was helping me out, and he means well, so it's all
good.

But, all kidding aside, a few times during our three days I'd be lying on
the beach pretending to nap while fantasizing about buddy sex. Fantasizing
that Danny or Hayden was fucking me hard and fast. Or I'd fantasize making
out with them and because of the fantasy, I'd need to turn over onto my
stomach on the beach blanket to hide my iron boner. I never needed to
fantasize Robby fucking me because we did it frequently all three days we
were here, sometimes twice before sleeping and always in the morning and
sex with Robby has reached a new level of heat... wow, has it ever! Last
night we didn't even try to be quiet about it, but I've still got the
buddy-sex-itch and I'll need to wean myself off of that.

So, unparalleled fabulous sex with my lover and soon-to-be husband and yet
it's still, obviously, going to be a struggle for me giving up random side
sex. Thus far I don't need to try giving it up because it's simply not
available, not with the four of us together all the time. In all honesty, I
don't think I'd do it with Hayden anyway, and the opportunities to do it
with Danny have been nonexistent since graduation, and there's been no one
else I've seriously considered doing it with. I played around with a couple
of cute guys the days before graduation but didn't press it any further
than the messin' around... so that's a start. Yeah, I've already started
weaning myself but then, I've been doing that on and off for a year
now. Slip-ups, of course, but that's just part of the weaning process. I
mean, I assume it is.

The fact is... since fat Carl 'outed' me to myself and I eventually hooked
up with Robby, this is the longest I've ever gone without side-sex of some
kind and ya know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that giving up both
cigarettes and random buddy/side-sex at the same time is gonna be too
hard. So, I'm buying that pack of cigarettes I've been threatening to do,
and I'm doing it the first chance I get. Of the two choices, it'd be less
disappointing to Robby if I back-slide on the cigarettes, and he catches me
rather than him catching me back-sliding on the other thing.

It's been fun but our Provincetown excursion is over Friday afternoon and
now we're on our way home. I'm in the backseat with Hayden again as Rob
drives and Danny sprawls out in the shotgun passenger seat seriously
hungover. We had drinks every night but not so many we needed to deal with
serious hangover problems, except for Danny last night. Yeah, he was doing
shots of Scotch with an orange-haired, bucked-tooth young cute guy at a
small bar we bumbled into late last night. Robby, Hayden, and I stuck with
beers with Hayden fuming about Danny spending too much time with that
bucked tooth boy. Now Danny's paying the price.

It's a three-hour drive from Provincetown to North Andover 'cause
Provincetown is located at the very tip of the Cape. The radio is on a
sports talk station but mostly I'm not paying attention to the chatter. I'm
feeling a little foolish for goofing around pretending I was developing gay
affectations, but after an hour in the truck I'm bored. So, foolish or not,
Hayden and I get silly again whispering about our little gay affectation
secret and how our 'men', as Hayden refers to Rob and Danny, treated
us. Hayden makes it fun and funny. He's a bad influence on me... yeah, he
is!

Then later, driving into Boston, meaning we're forty-five minutes from
home, Danny recovers enough to get into a discussion with Rob, both of them
over analyzing their failed baseball season AGAIN. Hayden's quietly trying
to get me to repeat a few lisping words and, with a grin on my face, I say
the words and before I know what's happening our lips are together as we're
crouched down behind the backs of the front seats kissing.

Omigod, my cock gets so hard it scares me. Fuck, I can't resist Hayden's
kissing technique and I've been daydreaming about this the past three days,
plus Hayden and I have been like best buddies all three days, and... oh
fuck I shouldn't be doing this! And, no, I don't push him away but it
registers in my mind how I'm still super susceptible to the dangers of side
sex temptations. It's such a hot make-out though, our hands all over each
other, and I quickly feel precum drooling into my underpants and I know an
orgasm isn't far off. Hayden smells so delicious too and I decide I'm just
going to let it happen... I'm going to cum in my pants. It's going to
happen any second now, then Hayden lets go of me and takes his lips
away. He deliberately licks up the front of my nose twice as I hold my head
steady letting him do what he wants. Leaving his clear scentless saliva
dripping off me, he whispers, "I'll finish with this when we can get away
together for fifteen minutes or so, but for now we better sit up, Dylan."

I'm in a daze when I hear Robby yell, "Hey, quick bumping my fucking seat!
Jesus!" it startles me and I inhale some of Hayden's saliva and
cough. Hayden pats my cheek nodding at me, then he pulls me up to a sitting
position a split second before Danny looks back grinning at us, asking,
"What are you two horn-jobs up to, huh?" Hayden says, "Nothing, darling."
Danny laughs and turns back around.

My dick is still hard as I'm wiping my nose with the back of my
hand. Hayden leans over, murmuring, "Obviously, you and I need to have sex!
Rob will let you if you ask him." Smelling the back of my wrist now, I
whisper, "I'm not asking him anything. Stop it! We're acting like
teenagers."

The rest of the ride I concentrate on getting my boner to go down as I'm
picking at my shorts, my underpants gooey with pre-cum. I'm pissed off at
myself, not at Hayden. Right now I make a pact with myself using this
incidence of weakness as my motivation to redouble my efforts at being
diligent about not letting my guard down again 'cause I truly don't want to
let Robby down. Hayden's acting a little pissed off 'cause he's
misinterpreting me chastising myself as me being mad at him. To show him
I'm not mad I smile at him and he gives me a smile back, mouthing, "I
promise I'll finish next time, don't worry." Oh fuck, more
miscommunication!

I'm looking out the window now, my dick still vibrating a little and
finally, Hayden, pats my hand and says, "Dylan," I look over and whisper to
him, "I hope you don't think I'm mad at you," he goes, "Well I hope not
because it was you who... well, never mind. Listen, I read something in my
'Hello MR' magazine that you should read. It's a story that applies to
you." I'm like, "What's hello Mr.?" He says, "I'll show you. It's a gay
magazine," and he goes through his backpack and comes out with a small-size
magazine and then starts turning pages, looking for something.

I'm back to gazing out the window thinking about something I think about
too much, but it's monumental to me! It's the switch Rob's seemed to
flick. It had to be a conscious decision where he said to himself something
like... 'enough pussy-footing around, I've gotta finally tell him, meaning
me, that this is how it's going to be'. And then, yeah, that's what he
did. He did it effectively but without yelling or being an asshole about
it. Basically, his entire approach was reminding me of my past
agreements. It came down to this: was my 'word' any good?

Yeah, I guess he thought, in the end, I'd stand behind my 'word' and that's
eventually what happened. Rob pushed right along with one thing after
another until here we are. The only 'new' thing, the only thing I never
gave my word on in the past was the 'wife' thing. That got mixed up with
everything else and then Rob cleverly called my bluff by offering to take
the 'wife' designation himself and, of course, that would be silly... so
I'm the wife. Lost in the whole situation is why one of us needs to be the
wife. No, that's not true. Rob gave a number of examples for why it's just
simpler to be husband and wife during introductions and shit like that. I
don't know, but I'm okay with it. Christ, do I think I'm too important, too
good to be Rob's wife? Ya know?

Heh heh, and then, in addition to standing behind my 'word', I made it all
come together for me when I assigned the sub/dom spin to everything in my
head. Yep, now I think Rob's a genius for the way he wrapped everything
up. I've checked my brain's 'rationalization program' two or three times
and confirmed that I'm not rationalizing to myself, I'm sincerely okay with
everything, including the 'wife' title when we're married. Not thrilled
about it, but okay with it and getting more okay with it as time passes. I
can't help myself, I love how Rob did everything, taking charge as he
should.

I'm reminding myself of these facts to clear my guilty head of the slip-up
there with Hayden. Thinking about Robby's plans for our married life makes
me smile, and I'm serious when I say I'm not screwing any of it up! Each
item he mentioned was said with such confidence too and I liked
that. Somebody has to be in charge or nothing ever gets done. Yeah, and
while I'm well aware that many wives are not submissive, in our family I
want the 'hubby' to be the dominant figure. So, now that it's all
set-up... let the games begin.

And, no doubt about it, Robby has assumed the leadership role! I didn't
make that part up in my head. He probably said to himself... 'we've been
talking about this shit for a couple of years and both of us agreed two or
three times with the main points, plus the main point my air-head boyfriend
has been insisting on since we met, which is me being in-charge and that's
what I need to be!' That's what Robby probably thought just before he
flicked the switch.

Oh, and during pillow talk after sex last night Rob was like, 'Babe, I
forgot to tell you about our appointment?' and he went on to tell me we
have an August tenth appointment with a surrogacy fertility operation
called RESOLVE, National Infertility Association. They'll lead us through
the process of having a baby, maybe during our first year of marriage. I
thought it was a perfect scenario, um, it was as if we were already married
and Rob, as the in-charge husband took the initiative to set that up and
then explain it to me. The explanation included that, basically, whichever
of our sperm 'takes', that will be the biological father of our first child
and whichever one didn't take will be the only one donating sperm to be the
biological father of the second child. Obviously, I'll be the stay-at-home
'dad' and my husband will make the money, which I have no doubt he will.

That's about it although Rob elaborated further on some points while being
very excited about the prospect of us having a family. Pretty quickly his
excitement for our lives together with our children became contagious and I
got as excited about everything as he was. His voice, as I've mentioned
before, can sort of hypnotize me anyway, so I slipped into a delicious
trance watching and listening to him, his arm eventually going under my
neck... as usual. Hell, last night my body was still vibrating from our sex
a little earlier anyway so I thought it was a beautiful moment we shared
talking about our family.

And a lot of his in-charge authority is unspoken too although I can feel it
coming from him like never before... it's real! For one thing, he didn't
start off apologizing for setting up this appointment without consulting
me. No, he knows it's his responsibility to take care of that and then
explain it to me. No problem 'cause I have confidence Rob can handle, um,
life... adult life in the real world. Not just 'play' at it or fake it, but
really handle it as well or better than the next guy. Sure, we're entering
a part of life that most people hold off doing for years... the getting
married part. We're ready for it though and we've almost been living it
since the beginning of last summer anyway.

Well, okay, those are some nice thoughts for me to concentrate on... good
positive thoughts to counteract that slippage of almost climaxing in my
pants while making out with Hayden. I'm good now, thank you very much. I'm
putting all my trust in Robby and why wouldn't I. When has he ever let me
down? Sure, I could cherry-pick a few times over the five-plus years we've
been together when he wasn't perfect... he's made a few bad choices here
and there but we're young and still learning as we go, and anyway... who's
perfect? Certainly not me!

Then, for some strange reason, I get defensive in my head imagining
know-it-all people being critical of me, perhaps labeling me a wimp or a
pussy for acquiescing to Rob's design for our lives together. But, fuck,
they'd simply be projecting themselves onto me, and they are definitely not
me! It's impossible to anticipate all the negativity people can conjure up
in their small-thinking closed-minds, um, maybe some will question why I
have increased devotion to Robby considering he'll be deciding things for
us, things he'll say 'no' to. Or they'll sneer at me for even considering
acting like Hayden while never considering it's because maybe, like Danny,
Robby will like a little swishiness from his wife.

Know-it-all people will criticize me for things I can't even imagine, but
they're not me, are they? It's more like they can't understand why everyone
isn't like them? They know better than me how I should be and what I should
like even though they haven't felt the things I've felt or lived my
life. They can't even imagine why I'm happy Rob's finally taking control of
everything. They refuse the concept of me being uniquely me, or that I
don't want to be them! It's a minor fact they don't know the life I've led,
that doesn't carry any weight with the sneerer's whose criticism of me is
actually a critique of their own limited acceptance of anyone who doesn't
fit their mold, their idea of how everyone should be.

Motherfucker, I'm on a roll now as I stare out the window watching the
world flying by outside the pickup. Every person I see as we drive by,
every one of them has their own unique story to tell, no two people have
the same brains or same set of life experiences, not even close... everyone
is different in uncountable, unimaginable ways.

And me saying Robby 'flicked a switch' is a metaphor for his great change
from the shy boy I first met to the current take-charge young man he is
today. It was almost a six-year process that enabled Rob to flick the
switch, and I had almost as much to do with it as he did. And I've been a
six-year process as well. My ideas for a perfect partner, or husband as
it's turned out, have been an evolving set of criteria changing in my head,
evolving due to the force of reality from a fantasy perfect lover to the
greatly modified current version that is Robby. Changes were made in my
head as I became more sensible and realistic.

Holy shit, I'm exhausting myself with this self-analysis and... huh...?
Hayden breaks into my silent rantings and ravings, bumping my arm. Looking
at him, I'm like, "What was that, Hayden?" He goes, "Here, read this,
Dylan." He's holding out his oddly undersized magazine. Pushing it away, I
go, "Not now, Hayden, please." He makes a 'face' and says, "It's about
someone just like you, and..." Smiling at him, I put my hand over his
mouth, saying, "No, he's not like me! No one is exactly like me, or you, or
Rob, or Danny, or that odd-looking man driving that car we just passed." He
goes, "Well, yeah, but this..." and I put my hand on his mouth again. He
grins and then deliberately licks the palm of my hand and we both snicker
at that. Taking my hand away I lick his saliva off and he goes, "Eww, that
was such a sexy thing to do." Hayden and I are good, so are Danny and me,
and definitely Robby and me... we're all good!

Back home safely, Rob drops off Hayden and then Danny. Oh boy, by now I'm
pretty freakin' psyched about all my righteous musings, my rantings against
the know-it-alls of the world, BUT... the more I think about that 'talk',
the one I just had with myself, something more important occurs to me and
it's this: Why the fuck do I need to justify myself to anyone but Robby?'

Yeah, why? That's a simple question and the answer is because I still care
what people think about me, people I don't fucking know and will never
know. I don't want to do that anymore! I don't want to care what they
think. I'm giving up my worries about what strangers think of me, or even
well-meaning family or friends. I'm gonna stop worrying about that because
I can't change people's minds. Hell, I don't want to change them... I just
need to stop caring about them.

Yeah, and I admitted to myself just recently that my concerns about what
strangers think of me has given me unnecessarily stress my whole life. What
difference does it make what they think anyway? I want people who I like
and love to try to understand me. Christ, Hayden's never cared what the
world thinks about him and he seems a hell of a lot less uptight than
me. It's what he thinks of himself and what I think of myself that should
come first. Do I think I'm basically a good person? Yes, I do. With
flaws... of course! Hell, that goes without saying. Obviously, I have flaws
but overall am I a good son, friend, brother, and lover? If I think I am,
why should I care what strangers think? How stupid is that?

Robby says, "We're home, babe!" I go, "Wha...?"

To be continued...

Part 4 of the final days...

    Donny Mumford      thinat20@yahoo.com     donnymumford@outlook.com

========================================================

Hoping some readers may be interested, there are books of mine published
and available on Amazon.com. Anyone who has Kindle can download them for
next to nothing. The books are usually around ten dollars. They are about a
19 year old gay boy (Oliver) who has a far different life than Dylan's. And
there is a new book, 'Mike, his Bike and Me'. Please at least check them
out by typing my name on Amazon.com. Information about the story in the
books can be found in some detail there. Thank you.

Donny Mumford

========================================================

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