Date: Sat, 14 Aug 1999 09:24:23 +1200 From: nivision@manawatu.gen.nz Subject: Gay Devotion Chapter 1 Gay Devotion Chapter One It was not an enjoyable experience. Mark felt ambivalent about his physical changes, he hated the strong emotions that he felt, the unwelcome behaviour of his penis which seemed to demand his attention with it's frequent erections and insistence that he fondle it whenever he was alone. He was troubled when he felt the soft fuzz of pubic hair around his cock, and even more dismayed when he saw the growth of hair around his nipples. He was proud of his smooth blemish free body now threatened by unsightly hair Every morning he examined the flourishing growth. Mark's Dad had a very hairy chest which he found quite unattractive. He admired the smooth muscular physique of the jocks in the school gym and on the swimming team. He was devastated to see increasing growth on his chest and stomach. Was he unique with excessive hair, even the light covering on his arms and legs was thickening. He did not like what was happening to him. Was it normal? Did this happen to other guys. Although he kept his shirt fully buttoned to hide his hirsute chest, he was constantly looking at other guys with open shirts to find confirming evidence to reassure him. It was almost a fanatical investigation. Finding others like himself became an obsession. He did find others like him but this did little to help him accept his hairy physique, certainly nothing to make him proud of it. Yet Paul, the head prefect flaunted his hairy chest with his shirt always open to his navel. He did not lack female admirers, this image of male virility seemed to encourage the attention of the opposite sex. Mark wondered whether guys could feel the same Mark became even more depressed when he saw hair sprouting on his shoulders and back. Would it never end? He felt sure he would be accused of having simian ancestors. He had real difficulties trying to ignore what was happening to him. No girl would find him attractive, not that he was attracted to them, it was the guys that he found desirable. **************** Enrolments at Victoria University were the day following Mark's move to Wellington and taking up residence at Weir House, the University's hostel for men. He felt anxious about the new experiences he could expect, especially living among men. As instructed by the letter advising him of his successful application, he reported to the Warden's office and was allocated a room with it's key on the second floor. The door was already open. He walked into a study with windows with panoramic views of the city and harbour. As he placed his bags on the table, he heard the sound of someone in the adjoining bedroom. He found a guy with thick wavy black hair unpacking his bag. He turned as Mark entered. "Hi, I guess you are my room mate?" "That's right, I'm Mark Turner." He offered his hand which was warmly shaken. "I'm Ralph Thompson. I'm glad you have arrived. I did not want to unpack before we have chosen beds, space etc." Mark liked Ralph's friendly considerate manner. He was also impressed by his great physique and handsome appearance. He noticed chest hair protruding from his shirt. They had soon made those decisions and together unpacked their bags. As they did so they exchanged information about their home towns, schools and interests, with Ralph often adding humorous comments. "Got a girlfriend?" asked Ralph. To Mark's negative reply, he continued, "nor me, not that I will be looking for one at varsity." A distant bell rang. "It must be 5.30 and time for dinner," said Mark, "the information booklet lists meal times, shall we eat?" Thee dining room was filled with two rows of large tables each seating 12. Mark and Ralph's table was soon full with most guys at first reticent to acknowledge the others. It was Ralph who soon had each identifying themselves and chatting to his neighbours. After the meal, they explored the house, locating the laundry, kitchenettes and facilities on each floor. Mark was enjoying the tour, pleased that his room mate was a really nice guy. He hoped Ralph liked him as much. As they entered the common room, Mark saw a piano. He played a few bars of Tiger Rag, Moonlight Sonata and a medley of popular songs before they moved on They continued to share a lot of information about each other until it was quite late and Mark said he was ready for bed. Ralph was in the bathroom as Mark undressed and got into bed. He tried not to pay much attention to Ralph as he undressed, but when he saw his hairy torso, he could not help watching. Ralph also had a thick covering, with a long cock and large low hung balls framed by a dense mass of pubic hair. Ralph slowly folded his clothes and seemed to take a long time getting into bed. Mark felt sure he was flaunting his nudity. Soon after breakfast they went across the park to the University campus to enrol. Ralph was taking a science degree and Mark a social science degree. They separated each going to their faculty office. Mark entered a large lecture room, signed Registrations, and after verifying his enrolment on the computer, he was directed to a desk where his degree plan was checked against the Regulations by one of the social science lecturers. It seemed to take a long time, with alternative courses being suggested for his consideration during the three years of study. At last the subjects for the first year were finalised. On one of the desks were piles of fliers advertising student clubs and activities. He took copies of those that he found interesting. Mark was having lunch at the cafeteria when he saw Ralph enter. He waved to him and he joined Mark with his sandwiches. They were comparing enrolment experiences when Ralph noticed the fliers and began to look at them. "This one is interesting," he said as he read the one from the Gay Student's Club more carefully. "Why, is it curiosity or do you qualify for membership?" asked Mark with a grin. "Would it concern you?," he replied. His serious expression surprised Mark. Mark immediately stopped grinning. "Not at all, a guy's sexuality does not bother me." "I'm glad, I want to tell you more about myself and your attitude will help." He stood. "I still have to complete laboratory arrangements so will see you back at the House." Mark lingered over his meal then spent some time locating the library, his lecture rooms and orienting the campus. He was already at dinner when Ralph arrived and he waited until Ralph had finished before returning with him to their rooms. They were relaxing in the only two easy chairs when Ralph asked Mark, "Have you ever had a girlfriend?" "No." "Why not, don't you like women or are still searching for that compatible partner?" Mark showed he was embarrassed and hesitated before replying. "I'm not interested in girls," he replied. "Do you prefer boys?" "Not boys, I guess I like men." He could hardly believe that he had admitted his propensity to someone who was really a stranger. He hesitated, "anyway some men." "Are you gay?" Mark felt he had admitted too much but having confessed, had to be honest. "I'm not sure, some men I find very attractive." "Like who?" Mark was now feeling most uncomfortable and yet had a strong desire to tell Ralph more. "Why do you ask? If I am gay, would it matter to you?" "Yes it would. I would be delighted. I was interested in the Gay Student's Club because I am gay and wondered whether I should join. Knowing that you are also gay is going to make room sharing much easier. We will appreciate how each of us feels about sex should situations arise." "Maybe", Mark replied, his voice indicating some reservations. "I have a thing about hairy guys which has dominated my emotions. I guess it is a kind of fixation. I hate my own hairiness for I am convinced it makes me grossly unattractive", he stumbled, "but I like hairy guys." He hesitated and in a low voice, added, "and you are hairy." He could not look at Ralph. Ralph went over to the window and gazed at the darkening city's twinkling lights. "We might have a problem, we are similar in that regard. I too am gay and I also like hairy men and you are the best looking bear I have ever met." He turned. "You should feel proud of your coat. I know guys who would be very jealous and would love to cuddle you." Mark wondered if this included Ralph. "Wow, this has been quite a night of confessions," said Mark. "I am glad that we now know so much more about each other. I want to be your friend." Ralph smiled with delight. "Me too," he whispered, his voice full of emotion. Mark went over to Ralph and hugged him. They clung to each other for some time before he broke away. "You are the only person I have told I am gay," said Mark. "So you are not out, your family don't know, and I bet you are a virgin?" said Ralph. Mark nodded. "Not even sex with a mate?" Again he nodded. "Your life is really going to change from now on. Would you like my help? It is not going to be easy." "What help did you get?" he asked. "An over-sexed school mate introduced me to great sex when I was 16 and persuaded me to be proud to be gay. I am grateful, also for his support when I came out to my parents. Mum was accepting but Dad cut up rough. Mum has persuaded him that I am still his worthwhile son." He sounded bitter and was not convinced. "I bet they were stressful days and I do understand how difficult it must have been", said Mark. "It is likely to be the same for me, I hope you can help." They both showered before going to bed that night, returning to their rooms naked but for their towels about them. As soon as Mark dropped his towel, Ralph gave him a slap on his bum. Mark grabbed Ralph's towel and flicked him. They were soon struggling to pin each other to the bed accompanied by grunts and laughter. They were soon both fully erect with Ralph holding Mark across his bed. Their cocks were touching and precum was oozing from Ralph's. He clasped them together and began to pump, increasing the pressure and the speed. Mark felt a rising orgasm and moaned as he ejaculated, his cum flowing over Ralph's hand. Ralph did not stop until he also had climaxed, then he fell on top of Mark and wrapped his arms around him burying his face in his thick chest hair. "Man you are beautiful and feel divine," Ralph said as he leant on an elbow and looked down at Mark. Mark felt exhilarated at his first experience of gay sex.. Without a second thought, his arms were around Ralph's neck and he pulled him down to passionately kiss him. Ralph gently broke free. Very seriously he said, "you are no longer a virgin, and if you would like to enjoy more sex with me. It is ok by me." Mark nodded. "I feel safe with you. It would be great." Mark could not sleep. He thought about the day's events and dwelt on what he and Ralph had shared, especially the sex. He felt liberated to some extent but at the same time anxious about the pace of shared sex and where it might lead. Did he really want to be so intimately involved with Ralph? As he pondered on these things he fell asleep. As soon as he awoke Mark's mind returned to the events of the previous evening. He found it difficult to believe that it had happened and that he had been so willing to be involved. He looked across at Ralph. He was already awake and was leaning on his elbow looking at him. Ralph yawned, stretched his arms above his head then pushed back the covers to reveal his erect cock. "He who must be obeyed needs urgent attention," he said and began to masturbate. "Every morning?" asked Mark. "Every morning, how about you?" "Most," Mark admitted. "Are you interested in mutual assistance?" He did not wait for a reply but got into Mark's bed and took hold of his cock. He stroked and fondled it before he began to pump the now pulsating rod. Ralph moaned hissed and groaned with pleasure as he felt the tension of his rising orgasm. With a shout he climaxed shooting his cum over his hairy chest. When he had finished, Mark lay down beside him and began to cuddle him, his hands stroking the hair on his chest. Ralph moved down the bed and took Mark's erect cock into his mouth. Mark was apprehensive for this was a new experience that he had only read about. The caresses of the tongue, the warm sucking mouth, the searching tongue pushing back his foreskin was sending tingles of pleasure through his body. He cock became more engorged as he thrust it deeper into the mouth, encouraging Ralph's attention. The lips gripped the shaft tightly and began to massage it's length. His fingers combed the hair on Mark's stomach and chest until they found his nipples which they tightly squeezed. Mark gasped. Mark's pelvis lifted and he bent his knees as he drove his cock in further. Mark's hands had been stroking Ralph's back, now they pressed his head into his crotch. He bucked to meet each stroke. His torso quivered, then tensed as an overwhelming demand for relief grew. He climaxed. Mark's fingers dug into Ralph's back as his cum flooded his mouth. Ralph swallowed as much as possible but the flow spilled onto Mark's crotch. As soon as the ejaculations ended, Ralph lay beside Mark his arms around him, his head on his shoulder. "Your cum is delicious and you have a terrific supply. Oh boy, do I like cum?" Mark felt exhausted. "That was terrific, far better than masturbating. Your school mate sure taught you a thing or two." "Now I can teach you if that is what you want." Mark hugged him. "I never guessed my degree might offer extra curricular programmes," he laughed. "How can I turn down an offer from one so experienced." "Rooming together will provide lots of opportunities but let this be our secret, it could be dangerous if others know." "I promise," Mark replied as he gave Ralph a reassuring hug. They got out of bed and with towels tied around their waist, they went to the bathroom. Several guys were showering or shaving. Mark stepped into a vacant shower and lathered himself. "Bugger, I've forgotten my soap said the guy under the adjacent shower. Mark looked at the muscular guy, immediately noticing how well hung he was. His thick pubic bush and meagre chest hair appealed to Mark. "Here, borrow mine." He handed his soap to the guy. "Much appreciated ," he said. He continued, "Did I see you enrolling in Social Sciences yesterday?" "That's right, what year are you?" The guy lathered his legs, frequently returning to his crotch, stretching his scrotum and cock. "This is my second year." He rinsed turning his torso sinuously, causing Mark's cock to swell. He looked at it and Mark felt sure he saw him wink indicating he knew the reason for his reaction. "See you later", he said as he stepped out of the shower. Mark noticed the guy from the shower at one of the other tables as he and Ralph sat down to breakfast. He was indeed very good looking. Mark's first lecture for the day was at 11 so he went to the Common Room to look at the morning papers. No sooner was he seated in one of the large leather chairs engrossed in the news, when a voice interrupted his concentration. "I appreciated your help this morning." Mark looked up to see the guy who was next to him in the shower. "You are new here, welcome, my name is Gordon Anderson," he said. "That's right I am Mark Turner, a freshman." They talked about the degree, choice of courses and life in the House with Mark appreciating his many suggestions and opinions. He liked Gordon's friendliness and was sorry when he had to leave for his lecture. Ralph and Mark were entering the dining room when Gordon followed them. He sat with them at their usual table. Mark introduced Gordon to Ralph and as he did so, he noticed that they were both wearing a rainbow coloured badge. He wondered about it's significance and was surprised by the coincidence. His curiosity demanded an explanation. "I have not seen your badge before Ralph, what does it mean? How come Gordon was wearing an identical one?" "Must you know?" asked Gordon. He looked at Ralph. "Are you and Mark close friends?" "You could say that." He grinned and whispered to Gordon, "he's wonderful in bed." Gordon screamed with laughter so that the other diners looked at them. Gordon immediately suppressed his hilarity. "Is he ready to wear one?" he asked Ralph. "No, he is still in the closet." "Pity, I hope you are helping him to emerge." "I'm working on it. We have been sharing for less than a week." It was dawning on Mark that the badges had some connection with the gay community. "You can give me an explanation when we get back to our rooms," he said, wanting to change the subject. "Would you like to join us. You can add to the explanation and describe the situation on this campus", said Ralph. "Sure, I had no idea Mark was one of us when he shared his soap with me this morning." "Ralph grinned. "So you two have already examined the equipment?" "Certainly and it looks good." said Gordon. "I could not help it. I told you I am a voyeur always making comparisons." "And?" Gordon expected an opinion. "Great and a nice body." Gordon laughed, "I like honest flattery." Ralph rose from the table and the others followed him from the dining room. The atmosphere in their rooms was stuffy from the afternoon sun so Mark opened the window and took off his jacket. Gordon and Ralph claimed the easy chairs while Mark sat at the table. "I want to know why those rainbow badges are significant," said Mark to Gordon. "My reasons could be different from Ralph's so he must speak for himself. It is my declaration of who I am. It is a statement generated by the negative attitudes some people have towards queers. I have always been excitable, flamboyant, and at times a little effeminate. I hate sport, love drama, music and the arts, so I did not conform to the macho image expected by my peers. My nickname was queeny and I was often taunted, but at the same time I was popular because I was fun, a bit of a clown really. I met ridicule with clever responses which made the instigator look equally ridiculous. I was sick of negative attitudes, so when Frank, a new student, became my friend, he made me realise it was good to be gay and didn't care who knew it. He was out, wore a rainbow badge to confirm it and persuaded me to do the same. From then on I never denied it even when my father accused me of being "one of them". God he went berserk when I admitted it. Mum said she always knew and it did not matter. Dad and I tolerate each other. Frank and I got to know other gay guys, many introducing themselves when they saw the badge. So that is why I continue to wear it. As soon as I arrived here last year, a guy also wearing the badge invited me to join the Gay Student's Club on campus. Now I am on the executive and I feel totally accepted. Gordon was flushed when he stopped, he was showing signs of the emotions generated by memories of the stress he had experienced. "It is more than a badge then," said Mark. "It is recognition of achievement, of surmounting a handicap?" "No, never that. I don't believe being gay is a disability. I may not conform to society's desired concepts of masculinity for I am proud of being gay and different in some respects. I prefer sex with men, not women, so what? That's how I feel, and that seems to make me a social outcast. I can't deny my sexuality and believe it should be allowed full expression so long as no one is hurt." "That is also how I feel," said Ralph. "The rights of consenting adults must apply to both straights and gays." "So why are you wearing the badge?" asked Gordon. "Like you, to some extent it is a statement of defiance. I knew I was gay at 14 but felt I had to conform so I hid it. I played rugby and cricket and was involved in and talked about those things that interested my mates. Girls and sex were popular subjects. It was all a big put-on. I hated it for girls did not interest me. My interests were music and fashion, and of course other boys and men. So I was an enthusiastic swimmer and enjoyed body contact sports. Suppressing my true personality created so much conflict and anger that I became increasingly introverted and moody. I knew I was becoming neurotic. Last year I met Ben, we seemed to have compatible vibes, and when he told me that he was gay, I was delighted for at last I had met someone who could appreciate how I felt. Boy oh boy, Ben lost no time bedding me and introducing me to gay sex. I felt I was being liberated. He made me feel good about myself and became my role model. My mates often laughed about poufs and made derogatory comments about gays but I would not say anything. One day one of them noticed and asked me if I was gay. I asked him if it would make any difference. He did not reply but looked shocked. Of course they assumed that I must be. Most of my so called friends seemed to become less friendly, but I was good at sport so popular with the team. Everyone knew that Ben and I were close friends and some began taunting us. We put up a front and began wearing our rainbow badge. When we were asked about it, we admitted our membership of the gay community. Like Gordon, my family were not pleased but I was determined to be honest about myself and as good as told them I could not change and that they had to accept me 'warts and all'." Ralph laughed bitterly. "I don't think they have. I'm sorry, but I must be true to myself. I hope time and success in my career will prove I am a worthwhile son and brother." Ralph went over to the window to gaze at the city. Mark could see that he was very upset. He stood beside him and put his arm around his shoulders. "Where can I get a rainbow badge?" Mark asked. "From the Gay Students Club, all members wear them," said Gordon. "Shall we join?", Mark asked Ralph. "I will if you will." "Wearing the badge means you are really out of the closet and you will soon learn that things can be different. Do you want the hassle of coming out? It takes a lot of courage." "It will be easier here where I am not known and where I am supported by you guys. Yes I want to be liberated as much as you." Ralph hugged him. "I hoped you might feel like that. Now I know you are a special kind of guy". Ralph kissed his lips and Mark returned the kiss with some passion before breaking away. Gordon coughed. "I thought you were just room mates, not lovers." Mark blushed and Ralph giggled. "We will keep you guessing. Tell us more about the student club. Why should we join?" asked Ralph. "Well I found it provided the best opportunities to meet other gay students with interests similar to mine. They have weekly get togethers with occasional speakers and a dance each term. It is very popular with a few straights and lesbians attending. There are special interest groups for swimming, tramping, theatre, a choir and gay rights. I met my room mate there. We are very much involved in gay rights. It's over to you how much you want to be involved." Ralph and Mark asked many questions before Gordon offered to take them along to the next meeting the following Friday evening. They agreed it would be the best way to find out what the club was like, so accepted. It was a hot summer and Mark and Ralph were finding adjustment to University life was quite a challenge. Ralph was sweating as he walked across the park to the House from the campus. He found Mark sitting in front of an open window without his shirt reading a psychology text book. The light breeze stirred the hair on his back. He did not notice Ralph enter, being absorbed in a chapter on sensory perception. It was when Ralph stood behind him and he felt his hands stroking his chest and stomach that he became aware of him. Mark leant back and looked up at Ralph. "You smell like an old goat, but I like it. A shower would make you much more acceptable," he said. "I can't resist your hairy body," said Ralph, followed by lustful growls. His hands reached into the top of Mark's shorts. "No you don't, not before you take that shower." "Promise me that we can then have a cuddle," said Ralph as his arms circled Mark's chest. Mark closed his book. "In that case I will also take a shower." They were both still a little damp as they lay together on Mark's bed. A breeze came from the open window stirring the hair on their bodies. Neither spoke as fingers explored every curve, entered every crevice and orifice and fondled each projection. Mark's contented sigh broke the silence as Ralph's fingers combed the hair on his chest and back. He tensed as his nipples were pinched and pulled. Ralph's tongue searched his armpits, his navel, and flicked his nipples. He lay back inviting Ralph's invasion. Ralph's hands gently touched him, tenderly caressed him, found the sensitive areas of his body making him squirm as every nerve responded to his touching. As he discovered each area his stimulating concentrated on them. Mark tried to imitate Ralph's skill with some success for he also became increasing responsive. They succumbed completely to each other's attention. Mark thrilled as he felt the soft silky hair on Ralph's body. He pressed his body against him to maximise the feel. With arms around each other, they hugged each desperate for the other. Although they were both fully erect, it was only the feel of each other that mattered, only the strong desire to experience uninhibited exploration of each other. Mark lay back while Ralph continued to caress him. "How can you find my hairiness so desirable?" "It is wonderful man, so soft, so warm, so exciting. You are gorgeous and I am thrilled that you want me to be your special friend." "It's sex you want, unadulterated sex with a lot of lust. Admit it," said Mark. "I know, but it could be the beginning of a more important relationship." Mark smiled, hugged and kissed him. "Now that signifies more than lust. Watch it, for we have not known each other very long." he said. The dinner bell warned them that another appetite needed attention. Mark was smiling as if his secret thoughts were confirming his growing affection. Gordon arrived on the Friday evening to take them to the meeting of the Gay Students Club. He was accompanied by a blonde young man with a peaches and cream complexion and slender build that made him look much younger than he was. Gordon introduced Aaron Gillespie, his room mate who responded to their greeting with an insipid smile. He was painfully shy but Mark found him very attractive and could not take his eyes off him. He was a pretty gay who looked no more than 16. Mark noticed that Gordon seemed to be besotted by him. The Club met in one of the larger lounges of the Student Centre. There we some 50 students already there when they arrived. Aaron left them to talk to a couple while Gordon introduced Mark and Ralph to several of the others. Mark was intrigued when he recognised among them, the lecturer who had assist him to enrol. He introduced them to a group of 4 who were enjoying a joke. "Meet my mates," he said to them. "This is Jim, Philip, Eric and John." They each greeted them with a smile and handshake and included them in their discussion. "Eric was telling us of his latest experience at the Wakefield," Said Eric. "None of us seem to find such interesting contacts." Each was soon sharing their own experiences, with Mark fascinated by the extraordinary opportunities for shared sex. It seemed incredible that everyone considered it normal behaviour at a gay sauna. He wondered whether he might find out for himself. The public address system interrupted them, inviting them to dance listing a selection of numbers from popular bands. "Do you dance?" asked a voice behind Mark. He turned to see the lecturer. "Do you remember me, I'm Jason Robertson and I believe you are Mark Turner." "Not very well, but if you don't mind my stumbling, I'll give it a go." Jason took his hand and drew him towards the dance floor. Soon they were jiving to a Reggae number. Jason twisted and turned with Mark imitating his movements. Mark got hot and unbuttoned his shirt revealing his hairy chest. To his surprise Jason soon after excused himself and left Mark on the dance floor wondering why. Nonplussed, he looked about and noticed a guy seated alone at one of the tables. He was staring at Mark. He smiled and it was returned so he went over and sat beside him. "Are you new here too?" "That's right, a freshman finding his way about." "My first visit too, friends brought me. Do you know anyone?" "Not a soul." "So what brought you here, bravado like me, or the first step to a new beginning?" He smiled. "I guess it's the latter." "I'm Mark Turner, hoping to join the Club." "And I'm Andrew Wilson, usually called Andy." Mark found Andy easy to talk to and over several cans of coke, he learnt that he lived in Karori with his patents. He was another confused gay guy. They swapped first impressions of the college but the topics seemed to constantly return to comparing their gay experiences. Andy was keen to meet other gay guys and this was the reason he was at the Club. Mark enjoyed his company and they were exchanging phone numbers when Ralph joined them. Mark introduced him to Ralph. Before he sat down Ralph put his arms around Mark and hugged him. Then turning to Andy asked him if he danced. Andy nodded enthusiastically. Ralph immediately took him onto the dance floor where they soon showed that they were very good partners. Many of the dancers stooped to watch as they performed like professionals. When the music ended many clapped and voiced their appreciation. They returned to Mark who had been watching, noting their delight in each other's excellent performance. "It shows that you both have been dancing may times," said Mark. "you are a great combination." "Andy has a great sense of rhythm," said Ralph. "He really is a first class partner." "I ought to be able to keep in step as I am majoring in music at varsity," he replied. "Really!" exclaimed Ralph who's interest now increased. They were soon discussing the merits of popular tempos in current music while Mark tried to show some listened but was soon bored. Mark saw Aaron sitting alone and went over to join him. "Having a good time?" he asked. "Not really. I prefer small parties with special friends." "I guess I do too." Aaron moved closer and grabbed some of Mark's chest hair. Surprised by his behaviour, Mark jerked back, then grinned, "I did not realise that I was so irresistible. I think all this hair is disgusting." "No way. It is what makes you so sexy. Hairy guys are really special. It makes me tingle with desire." "Oh really, what kind of desires?" "To make you my very own Teddy Bear." "Sorry, that is most unlikely unless you can get Ralph's agreement. He might share, then he might not." Aaron kept his hand on Mark's chest fondling the hair. "Also Gordon may not be very happy." "I'll let you know," Aaron replied as he leant back in his chair. "Gordon believes sex should be shared. What do you think?" Mark was astonished for he had never considered such a liberal attitude might exist among gay guys. "I'm in the process of coming out and have not seriously thought about it. Maybe we should talk about it sometime." "God all that lovely hair sends shivers through me.' "Truly? I find it revolting even though I do like some hairy men. There is just too much on me." "No way, not for a real bear, cuddling you would be the ultimate for me." Aaron trembled at the thought. If it was only possible. He was determined to make it happen. Mark was silent as he returned with the others across the park to the House. He had very much enjoyed the evening with it's many surprises. He found it hard to believe that others had found him attractive. He liked many of them and intended to see more of them. "So do you want to join the Club?" asked Gordon. "Very much. I met some nice guys", Mark replied. "I noticed others felt the same about you." said Ralph, "especially Aaron. "He told me he had met a gorgeous teddy." "Did he now," said Gordon, his tone implying a serious concern. "Aaron will soon be craving for a cuddle, won't you lover boy?" He grabbed Aaron and began to roughly hug him. Aaron grinned then turned to Ralph. "Would you share him with me?" Ralph spluttered. "It depends," he replied grinning at Mark. "It depends on Mark. I guess it is ok with me if he has no objections." Mark did not reply, his feelings for Ralph were so strong that he did not want to share the intimacy that they had. He hoped Ralph felt the same way about him. His reply had generated uncertainty. They waited for his reply. It took a long time as Mark looked at Aaron. "I would like us to be friends but I don't want to sleep with you, not yet anyway. Ralph is my special guy at present and the only one to share my bed." Mark's emphatic reply stifled any further responses from the others and they spent the remaining time sharing thoughts about the Club. "Did you really mean what you said to Aaron tonight?" asked Ralph as they prepared for bed. "Every word. Sleeping with you has meant a lot to me. It is really special and means that for me you also are really special." "But I don't love you. It is only that I enjoys cuddles and the sex that draws me to you." "I know, I know", Mark replied sounding irritated, "and I know that it is too soon to expect anything more. I can't help being a bloody romantic and believing it might mean more when we lie in each other's arms." Ralph sighed. "Don't expect too much or you really will be hurt, perhaps become disappointed and bitter. You are too nice a guy to suffer that." Mark knew that he was right as he slid between the sheets. "Am I still welcome in your bed?" asked Ralph. Mark grinned. "Sure, of course." He raised the covers and Ralph joined him and immediately held him close. "I hope we will always be able to do this," he said. "And I hope that you will continue to help me to understand and appreciate what it means to be gay," said Mark. He kissed his cheek, snuggled into him and was soon asleep. To be continued. The author Stewart Ransom invites comments. E-mail address: nivision@manawatu.gen.nz