Gregory
Patrick
10/09/2022
Jaiden –
Chapter 183
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Jaiden contains sexual inferences and direct mention of male-to-male sexual
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Greg Patrick
"Jaiden, you
have been more irked by things lately than in the past; what's up?" "Charley, what's up is that I have gotten so
fed up with narcissists and gaslighters that I want to choke the hell out of
the whole lot of them. They lead such
piss-poor lives that the only thing they can do is look in a mirror and see
themselves as the only perfect person to have ever graced this earth. They do their best to make others look small
and feel insignificant when all they do is make themselves look that way."
"Jaiden, how
do you handle someone like that?"
"Charley, have you ever heard of flat affect?" "No, not really. What is it."
"It's a method of shutting down gaslighting narcissists. When they are doing their best to piss you
off, you let whatever they say and do go without a response – a response the
gaslighting narcissist expects as a comeback.
The other thing you have to do with such a person is to permanently
remove them from your life for your sanity because such a person will never
change!
If Pastor
Jefferson can change and Reverend Simmons can change, and Pastor Todd Simmons
can be accepting, others can too! If
they want to continue being a gaslighting narcissist, then all they need to
know is it is half-mooned, cracked down the middle, and they can kiss it!" "Bro, you are mad." "Not mad, Charley, just fed up with a-holes
who think they are smarter than anybody else."
"I have to agree with you on that, Jaiden; I've
had enough of those people. All they are
is neanderthal trolls. Don't respond to
the Neanderthals." "I won't anymore,
Charley. But there is one thing I'd like
to do, and that is meet their parents to see if they are as baseless and
ignorant as their children. The one
thing I have done is contact his ISP provider to have his account shut down." "Good for you, Jaiden; I hope they ream the
dumbass a new one. There is nothing I
dislike more than a gaslighting narcissist."
"You can say that again; those people deserve a special place in hell!"
"Uncle
Jaiden, I want to talk to the Rabbi about converting to Judaism. Can you give
me an idea of what to expect after I talk to him?" "Andrew, the first thing you have to resolve is don't listen to people like David who
think they know everything about everything and try to make your life miserable
by talking a lot about nothing. Don't
let the stupidity and ignorance of a person like him get you down."
"First,
converting to Judaism is your choice.
There are many converts to all facets of Judaism: Hasidic, who are ultra-orthodox. The late great Rebbie, Menachim Schneerson, who was a Rebbie in the ultra-Orthodox
movement, said once that to be a true convert, you have to convert and become a
member of the Hassidim. That was his
personal opinion, not one I share. Many
of his followers believe as he taught in his synagogue in New York. They believed that when Rebbie Schneerson died, he would come back as the Messiah. As you well know, Andrew, that didn't
happen."
"Judaism is
a life-long process in which you will never stop learning. You can't convert to Judaism and call it a
day. You will become involved in a
lifelong study of the faith. Some parts
of your study will be fun and enlightening, and some not so much. You will have to discipline yourself as you
learn about Judaism."
"Be
comfortable with your conversion decision, and don't let the comments and
questions some jackasses will ask. Why
you convert to Judaism is nobody's business but yours, and you don't have to comment
on your decision to anybody except the Rabbis and the congregation."
"Be honest
about your conversion. If you have a
question about something, don't be embarrassed or shy about asking Rabbi
Kravitz; he is straightforward and easy to talk to. He'll be glad to help you through any doubts
you'll have during your conversion – and he won't get upset about any questions
you may have." "Uncle Jaiden..." Rabbi Kravitz walked up and said, "Your Uncle
Jaiden is correct, Andrew; I'll help you with whatever questions you may have
before your conversion begins and during the learning process of your
conversion. Every convert has doubts and
questions at some point, even you."
"Hello,
Rabbi; we didn't hear you walk up."
"Guys, forgive me if I interrupted anything; I know Andrew has been
talking about conversion, and I saw you two out here talking, and I thought I
would see if he had any questions I could answer now." "Andrew, didn't I tell you the Rabbi would be
easy to talk with?" "Yes, Sir."
"Andrew, I heard
your uncle tell you to be comfortable with yourself when you start classes on
converting to our faith. One of the most
important things you can do in converting to Judaism is to be yourself, not
what someone else may want you to be. No
Jew has had every experience possible in Judaism, I know I certainly haven't,
and I have been a Jew all my life and a Rabbi for the past twenty years. `Authentic' Jews come from all walks of life,
and the best way to be an authentic Jew is to be yourself."
"Rabbi, what
do you mean by be me?" "Andrew, just be
the loving young man you have always been, help people when and where you can
like your uncles do; simply always try to be a good person, and you will have a
happy, prosperous, and productive life in whatever you do."
"Son, if you
decide to be a part of liberal Judaism, like being in the Reform movement,
study tradition to make your experience more fulfilling. You can be kosher or not; some people adapt
Judaism to their lifestyles, and there is nothing wrong with that. There were inherent dangers in the old days
when it was forbidden to eat shellfish and pork. Modern refrigeration and cooking methods have
removed the dangers of eating certain foods that Moses instructed Jews to
avoid. Pick Judaic practices that help
you build your faith."
"So, I don't
have to do all the strict stuff all the time?"
"Not at all, Andrew. You need to
enjoy life to enjoy Judaism; Judaism can be fun if you approach it that
way." "That makes me feel a little bit
better than before." "Good, that is how
you should feel. But studying and
learning Hebrew can get scary and make you doubt if you can learn it."
"When you
are at home with your mom and dad on weekends, have you seen them pray in the
morning, in the middle of the day, and later in the evening? "Yes, sir, I have, and I wondered why they
pray like that."
"Andrew,
praying is a way of getting peace inside of you, of putting gratitude in your
heart. Do you know what gratitude
means?" "Yes, sir, it means to be glad
about something." "Very correct, young
man. Everything you do as an observant
Jew leads to a happier life full of inner peace, gratitude, and happiness; that
experience is different for everybody."
"Part of the
best things about converting to Judaism is getting to know and spend time with
other Jews and doing things with them, especially involving putting their faith
into action. To me, that is the most fun
part about being Jewish, and it's probably the same for your parents and your
uncles." Jaiden spoke up and said the
Rabbi was right and told Andrew to think about the things his Uncle Peyton and
he did to help others." "Uncle Jaiden,
do you mean like helping me get away from my original dad and the beatings I
got from him?" "That is exactly what I
mean, Andrew. You can do the same thing
when you grow up."
"Andrew, did
you know that there are things that aren't religious that make Judaism
fun?" "No, sir, I never thought of
that. What do you mean?" "Well, exploring Jewish foods can be fun –
and delicious. You are learning about and participating in art like painting,
acting, and dancing. Watching films on
Judaism can help you connect with your Jewish community and learn things you
might not learn otherwise. Doing things
like that help us become a bigger participant in Judaism and make our faith
stronger in our hearts."
"Something
else you need to understand is that the experiences of converting to Judaism
are different for everybody. It might
take a little time to convert, while it may take someone else a lot longer. It's just easier for some people than it is
for others. And a fun part of conversion
is that those who find converting easier, they can help those who find it
harder – and that builds friendship and camaraderie."
"When we
start working together on your Jewish education, Rabbi Belson and I will do
everything we can to make your conversion experience much more fun. If you have difficulty with something in the
learning process, let Rabbi Belson or me know, and we'll help you with whatever
questions or problems you have. Create
your learning path to make things fun, and let your parents and uncles help
you." "Rabbi, I feel better now; I think
converting to Judaism is going to be fun, and I know my mom will help me, and
she'll be proud of me when I take my Bar Mitzvah." "Buddy, that is a good way to look at
things."
"Andrew, may
I ask you a question?" "Yes, sir." "Have you enjoyed and been happy with your
new family? "Oh, yes, sir! I love my little brothers, and I have fun
with my new friends across the street, and Uncle Jaiden, Uncle Peyton, Uncle
Dale, and Uncle Charley make me feel special.
They let me come to their house and play with my cousins, which is so
much fun."
"Andrew, I
am so glad to hear that; you know your uncles, your cousins, and your mom and
dad are special people." "Yes, sir, I
know. I know my mom and dad love me and
want the best for me, and I don't have to worry about my dad beating me like my
old dad did every night." "Good, buddy!"
"Uncle
Jaiden, I think it will be fun converting to Judaism." "I think so, too, Andrew; would you like to
go play with your cousins now?" Andrew
didn't answer Jaiden's last question; he ran to the yard to play with all ten
of his cousins.
"Jaiden,
tell me something: what is your
philosophy on having such a peaceful, loving family?"
"Rabbi, we
never fuss, cuss, or raise our voices.
We treat our friends and enemies the way we want to be treated – with
respect and dignity. There are five
fundamental observances we have for people in this house; first, there is
love. We love everybody the same, and we
show love; we don't just talk about it.
Secondly, we accept everyone for who they are, not whom we want them to
be. Individuality is essential for an
individual's happiness and well-being.
Thirdly, we place heavy emphasis on forgiveness. Friendship and family are forever, no matter
what. Everybody has bad days, and we
don't hold that against anyone. Fourth
is inclusion. All family members are
included in everything we do, and if family and friends are visiting, they are
included in family events as well – especially in attendance at Shabbat
services. And finally, family; family is
family no matter what, and we will always stand by and behind our family – and
that goes for friends as well!"
"Jaiden,
that is an admirable way to live, and I am proud of you for being that
way." "Rabbi, I appreciate that, but I
don't know if I would call our lifestyle admirable; loving, comfortable,
enjoyable maybe, but admirable...I'll leave that
judgment up to others." "You guys are
good men, Jaiden." "We try hard to be
good men, Rabbi, really hard." "Believe
me, friend, it shows." "Good, let's let
that speak for itself; I don't want to be a braggart."
"Rabbi, I'll
talk to Andrew about things he might expect before his conversion is
complete." "Great, Jaiden; the more he
knows ahead of time, the more comfortable and happier he'll be. You all have a good night; I'll spend some
time with the missus since I see she just turned out the lights in the kids'
rooms." "Have a good night, Rabbi." "You do the same, my friend."
"Uncle
Jaiden, Jamie told me that the Rabbi might have to do something to my thing; is
that true?" "Andrew, what Jamie was
talking about is a Bris Melah. Jewish
boys have a bris milah ceremony to bind them to Hashem's covenants with the
Jewish people. The Rabbi does it when
the baby is eight days old."
"What does
the Rabbi do, Uncle Jaiden?"
"The Rabbi
uses specific instruments that hold the extra skin on the front of the penis,
your thing as you call it so that the excess skin can be trimmed off. It doesn't hurt the baby, although the babies
usually cry because something is happening, and they don't like it. When the
baby cries, the Rabbi will put a few drops of wine on the baby's tongue, and he
usually stops crying immediately."
"Am I going
to have to have that done?" "Andrew,
when your uncles examined you in the hospital, we noted that you were
circumcised, so I don't think the Rabbi will make you do that in front of
everybody at the conversion ceremony. He
didn't make your Uncle Charley have a circumcision when he converted to Judaism
since he, like you, was already circumcised. When Charley thought
he would have to go through a bris procedure, he almost fainted; it was hilarious
how he worried about that."
"Andrew, at
some point, the Rabbi will let you stand before the congregation and tell them
why you want to convert to Judaism, so that is something you need to start
thinking about." "I already have that
written down because Dad told me I would have to do that." "And your dad is right, buddy. Don't worry about having a bris milah since
you are already circumcised; the Rabbi won't be concerned about that part of
your conversion." That's good because I
don't think I could be naked in front of people, especially in front of Mom." "Well, Andrew, I know that your mom wouldn't
want to see you naked; she respects your privacy and would never do anything
that would embarrass you."
"I've got a
good Mom now, don't I, Uncle Jaiden?"
"No, Andrew, you have a great Mom, and she loves you more than you will
ever know; she will make sure you are protected from getting hurt again by an
adult. Your dad loves you the way your
mom does, and he would hurt someone badly if they hurt you. And then there is your Uncle Peyton; any
adult who fights with him over you or one of our children would likely get hurt
very badly. Your Uncle Peyton doesn't
like people who hurt children."
"Uncle
Jaiden, are you telling me I don't have to be afraid anymore like I was in my
old home?" "Yes, Andrew, I am. You don't have to be scared like that anymore."
"I think your
mom and dad may be ready for us to return to your house; we've been here quite
a while." "OK."
Jaiden
walked Andrew back to his house, where his new mom and dad had set everything
up to celebrate his birthday. All his
friends from the synagogue were hiding in the backyard, and the bicycle his
parents had gotten him was hidden in their bedroom.
When Jaiden
and Andrew went inside the house, Sally told Andrew they would grill hamburgers
and make homemade ice cream on the deck to go on outside and get ready to
eat. When Andrew walked out, he saw a
table full of gifts, and then his friends jumped out of their hiding places and
yelled, "SURPRISE!"
Andrew was
so surprised that tears welled up in his eyes.
He'd never had a birthday party before and wasn't sure what he should
do. His dad walked outside and asked his
son if he was surprised. Andrew looked
up at his dad and asked what was going on."
"Andrew, you've
never had a birthday party before?" "No,
sir; I didn't know you could have a party for your birthday." "Andrew!"
"No, sir, I didn't. We never celebrated
my birthday at my old home, and I never got presents for anything." "Son, that will change here; you will have
birthday parties, and you can have friends spend the night with you, and we
will have campouts in the backyard."
"Mom said
she was going to cook hamburgers outside on the deck and that she was going to
make homemade ice cream. How is she
going to do that?" "You have never had
anything like Mom is fixing, have you?" "No,
sir, I didn't know you could cook outside, and I thought you could only get ice
cream at the grocery store." "Well, when
Mom and Uncle Dale bring everything outside, I'll show you how they will fix lunch,
OK?" "Thanks, Dad." "You're welcome, Buddy."
Richard left
Andrew in the backyard to play with his friends, went inside the house, and
headed straight for his bedroom. Sally
could tell something was wrong and followed Richard to the back of the
house. When she got to their room, the
door was shut, and she could hear how upset Richard had become. She knocked on the door and quietly walked
inside.
"Richard,
honey, what's wrong?" "Sally, Andrew has
never had a birthday party. He had no
idea why all his friends from the synagogue were here, and he didn't understand
how you and Dale were going to cook food on the deck or how you were going to
make homemade ice cream. When I
mentioned camping in the backyard, he wanted to know how you do that. How could such a sweet, respectful child have
been mistreated and missed out on so much in his short life? How? They
never had a birthday party, never had friends visit him at home, and never been
on a campout! I don't understand how someone
could hate their child so much that they would make the child miss out on so
much."
"Richard,
why don't we get Andrew signed up for Boy Scouts at the temple? That's something he and you could do together,
and it would be a good way for Andrew to learn skills he can use later in life." Richard grabbed Sally, hugged her, and kissed
her. "Sweetheart, how did you become so
smart?" "I always do my homework,
sweetie." "I should have known you would
say that." "Sally looked at Richard,
smiled, and headed back to the kitchen."
Andrew was
going to be so surprised when everybody finished their lunch and dessert and he
got to start opening presents. When
lunch was finished, Sally and Dale cleared the table, and Richard and Jaiden
moved the gifts to it. Everybody but
Sally walked onto the deck and gathered around Andrew. As Sally walked through the French doors,
everybody started singing happy birthday, and Sally brought out a cake with 11
candles lit on it.
"OK, Andrew,
make a wish and blow out the candles!"
Andrew closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, he blew
out all the candles. One of his friends
asked, "What did you wish for, Andrew?" "Simon,
I made a wish that all of this wasn't a dream and that it wouldn't go away when
I woke up." What he said stabbed Sally
in the heart, and she backed against the wall of the house, put her hands over
her face, and cried for her son.
The first
present Andrew opened was from Peyton and Jaiden; it was an X-box game the boy
once said he had always wanted when they were all shopping at the mall. When Andrew said that at the mall, Dale and
Charley paid attention to the games he was interested in, and when Andrew wasn't
looking, they had the sales-clerk ring up all the games. The games were in the second present the boy
opened. After he had opened all the
gifts his friends had brought, Richard went inside and got the bicycle he and
Sally had gotten for Andrew.
When Andrew
saw the bike, his eye got as big as a Cat's-eye marble. He had never had a bicycle and never thought
he would get one. Charley fitted the
bike to Andrew so he could ride it more easily.
That's when Andrew looked at Charley and said, "Uncle Charley, how do
you ride a bicycle?"
Charley laughed
and said, "Buddy, it isn't hard, I'll teach you, and then you can ride bikes
with me, Uncle Dale, Uncle Peyton, and Uncle Jaiden." "Y'all have bikes to ride too? " "Yep, we got'em so
we could ride with you and your mom and dad."
"But they don't have a bike, and neither does my little brothers."
Richard
looked at his son and said, "we do now, buddy, and we have a buggy to put your
brothers in so they can ride with us. When
you get to where you can ride your bike well, we'll go up to the mountain and
ride our bikes on the trails so traffic won't bother
you." Andrew grinned from ear to ear
when his dad said that; he also got up from where he was sitting, walked over
to his dad and gave him the biggest bear hug ever. The only thing different from how he would typically
hug Richard was that he wasn't eager to release the hug this time. Richard hugged his son back, kissed him on
the forehead, and told him to play with his friends.
While Andrew
was playing with his friends, Richard and Jaiden got a big family tent Richard
had purchased and carried it to the backyard.
The two and Charley began assembling the tent, eventually catching
Andrew's eye. He walked to the guys and
asked them what they were doing. Richard
asked, "Andrew, do you remember me saying we could camp out?" "Yes, sir."
"Well, all your friends will stay here tonight, and we will camp out
with them and their dads." "You mean
they get to spend the night with me at home?"
"Exactly, son." Andrew was so
excited at this point that he could hardly contain himself. His friends didn't know that was going to
happen, and when Andrew told them, they were excited beyond their imaginations.
They got
excited when their dads started showing up to spend the night with them in the
backyard. The Boy Scout troop from the
temple, which most of the dads helped with, sent enough tents over for all the
boys to sleep in with their friends. The
dads would share the big tent and let the boys' tent together – no pun intended.
Richard had
purchased a contained fireplace for the yard and some oak wood to burn in it,
and when the sun started going down, he placed the firepit in the middle of the
yard, put the wood in it, and got it to burning nicely.
Sally
brought graham crackers, chocolate bars, and marshmallows outside for the boys
to make smores. Richard and Jaiden had
picked up some special tongs the boys could use to make their smores.
Once the
fire stopped flaming too high, Sally got the boys together and showed them how
to make a smore. Then she let them make
and warm their smores, which were a big hit with the children. You might say that that night, Sally became
the most popular mom around – and she became one of Andrew's heroes.
Sally took
little Robert and Peyton inside to get them ready for bed and to let the boys
and their dads have some male bonding time; however, she maintained a spot in
the den where she could watch her son having the time of his young life. Richard saw what Sally was doing and gave her
a big smile and a wink.
Peyton,
Jaiden, Dale, and Charley started to go home when Andrew asked them to camp out
with the rest of the boys. Peyton
excused the guys and told Andrew they had to take their children home and get
them dressed for bed – and in their beds; then the guys and their children walked
home.
The following
morning, Richard and a couple of the other dads got the fire burning again in
the pit. Then he placed a grate over the
fire, sat a large frying pan - borrowed from the temple's scout troop – over the
fire, got it hot, and started cooking some bacon – which is allowed by Reformed
Judaism. While Richard did that, one of
the other dads whipped up a large bowl of eggs to scramble. When the dads started cooking the eggs, Sally
brought out several large pans of homemade buttermilk biscuits and a lot of Andrew's
favorite strawberry jam.
The boy's
dads fixed their son's plates as the boys assembled around the fire pit Indian style
to keep warm. When the dads handed their
sons their food, one would have thought the boys hadn't eaten in a month of
Sundays. They dove into the food like
bears eating salmon. You could say that
if they were eating inside and the lights went out, it would be a good idea not
to reach for anything lest a fork wind up in the back of your hand.
Peyton had
walked to Richard's and was inside with Sally, looking out the door at the boys
and their dads. "Sally, I don't think I
have ever seen a little boy looking as happy as Andrew looks right now. You and Richard are saints for becoming his
parents. Just look at him; he's glowing."
Sally kissed
Peyton on the cheek and said, "Peyton, if you hadn't taken that call, and if
Richard and Peter hadn't been at the office, what you see may never have
happened, so give yourself some of the credit for what you are seeing." "No, this isn't something for which I deserve
any credit. The credit for everything that has happened belongs to Hashem." "OK, Peyton, but I know you are a special
jewel in Hashem's crown." "If you say
so, Sally, the same goes for you."
Jaiden
called Peyton to see how everything had gone the night before, and Peyton told
him he wished he had been there to see how happy Andrew looked and how much fun
he and his friends were having.
As Jaiden
walked to the mailbox to get the morning newspaper, he saw Richard walking
around the corner, holding the seat of Andrew's bike so the boy wouldn't
fall. He stood at the end of his
driveway and watched his brother-in-law and nephew having a father-son moment. A smile crossed Jaiden's face as he thought
about how his and Richard's bio-donor had beaten Seth, how their and Andrew's journeys
looked so similar, and how the outcomes of each were virtually the same. Suddenly, his heart felt light and happy, and
his mind told him all would be well.
As Jaiden
was at the front door of his house opening the screen to the front weather door
to air out the house, he saw Andrew riding slowly back to his house and Richard
trying to keep up. He got a chuckle out
of how fast Andrew had learned to balance himself on his new bike, and, somehow,
he knew Andrew had newfound freedom he could never have imagined before.
He used his
cell phone to video Andrew riding the bicycle and showed it to Charley and
Dale, giving both a sense of joy. Jaiden
would show the video to Peyton when he came home.
When Peyton
walked into the house, Jaiden said, "Sweetheart, look at this awesome video I
shot a while ago with my cell phone and tell me what you think."
Peyton looked
at the video and didn't say a word. He
simply turned, embraced Jaiden, laid his head on his husband's shoulder, and
asked, "Love, what would have happened if Dale and Charley hadn't seen Andrew
at their office, and if they hadn't called me and Richard hadn't seen and
examined Andrew? What might have happened if all the ifs had not happened?"
"Peyton,
that is a question to which I don't want the answer!"