Gregory Patrick

07/23/2023

Jaiden – Chapter 196

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Everyone was gathering in the lobby of the hotel to decide where everyone wanted to eat breakfast. "Jaiden, what do you want for breakfast this morning? "Peyton, I'd love to have another traditional English breakfast." Charley heard what Jaiden said he wanted to eat and chimed in with, "NO HELL HE DOESN'T - not unless he eats half a bottle of Beano!" Jim was standing by the window snickering when Charley said what he did. He glanced over at Peggy, who was about to roll on the floor laughing. When she regained her composure, she looked at Jaiden and said, "Son, if you eat another traditional breakfast and do what you did yesterday – especially in the synagogue – I am going to make you miserable the entire day." Jaiden knew she would, so he changed his mind and decided to have a more traditional breakfast as he would at home: a pecan waffle, hot maple syrup, melted butter, one piece of England's version of bacon, and two eggs. Peyton had hash, eggs, and country potatoes. Most of the adults followed Jaiden's breakfast idea.

 

Lunch was going to be interesting in that Peggy and Jim had gotten together and cooked up a plan for the children to have cabbage at lunch without taking Beano. Before lunch, everyone went to Buckingham Palace to see the Changing of the Guard. The Prince and Princess of Wales had attended a charity event earlier in Wales and had flown back to the palace in a helicopter. As the chopper landed, William and Kate caught a glimpse of the children and immediately knew who they were. When they deplaned the chopper, they walked to where the children and their parents stood and talked with the children for at least twenty minutes and invited the entire crowd to have dinner at their home the next evening. The children were excited at having met the Prince's and Princess's children and at the prospect of getting to play with them the following day. They could hardly contain themselves all day.

 

After seeing the palace and meeting the Royals, the dads took the boys to ride the huge Ferris wheel, from which you could see most of London. Then they took a boat ride down the River Thames. The boys had a great time standing at the bow of the boat and letting their hair blow wild in the wind. When they completed their boat ride, Jim and Peggy had scouted out a traditional British restaurant they thought everyone would enjoy, a restaurant where they could get the children Bubble and Squeak, a dish which would make their little stomachs bubble and the tiny butts squeak, emitting a ferocious odor that would repay the dads for the horrible ride home Peggy, Jim, and Phyllis had with the children a year or so ago in Erie.

 

After lunch, they boarded the tube for a ride up to Peterborough to see the old burial mound that the children would get to crawl in and out of and tour some of the parks where they could see much wildlife: birds, mule deer, and such. About halfway to Peterborough, Charley was sitting in the back of the rail car with the other dads when he wrinkled his nose and said, "Holy shit! Do you guys smell that?" Peyton replied, "Yes, Charley, I smell it, and I can guarantee it may be shit, but it definitely is not holy!" Dale poked Peyton in his side and motioned for him to take a look at Jaiden, who by now had turned green and was doing all in his power not to throw up.

 

He never could handle a smell like that in their vehicles, and as when he pulled over in the mall parking lot and exited the van in Erie, he was looking for the fastest way out of the train car he was in. Peyton was able to guide him into the next train car, and while they were headed that way, Jaiden said, "I am going to pay your dad back if it takes me the whole trip." "Babe, I hate to tell you this, but your mom was in on it too." "Oh, REALLY!" "Yep, I saw her and my dad feeding the children Bubble and Squeak." "What the heck is that, Peyton?" "Love, it's mashed potatoes loaded with ground cabbage."

 

"Why that..." "Jaiden, don't call my dad an SOB; he's a mischievous asshole, but not an SOB. My grandmother is with us on this trip, and you know what a sweet lady she is." "Babe, I wasn't going to call him an SOB; I was going to call him a male Jenny!" "Peyton lost it with that comment because it was true, and he had used it himself in the past."

 

"When we get to where we are going, Peyton, we are going to get you, me, Dale, and Charley two peanut butter sandwiches, two bananas, and two glasses of milk."

 

"Jaiden, you are planning a full-frontal assault on our parents, aren't you?" "I most certainly am not planning a full-frontal assault on our parents; I am planning a full assault from the rear every chance we get." Peyton went back to the other train car and told Dale and Charley what Jaiden was planning. Charley laughed so loud and hard that the guy's parents turned to look back to see what was going on. They knew something was up but didn't know what and began worrying.

 

Jim looked at Peggy and asked, "Peggy, do you reckon they know what we did at lunch?" "Jim, be serious!" You smell this train car just as much as they do; they have to know we did something at lunch. The question is, what is the payback going to be?" "Oh, hell, we are going to catch it royal style; excuse the pun." "Jim, it isn't, `Oh, hell,' it will be hell, at least for us for a while."

 

"Dad." "Yes, Peyton." "Have you learned your lesson? Do you think you can go the rest of the trip without giving the children food that is going to make them fart and stink?' "Son, somehow, I think Peggy and I have learned just how far the stench will carry on a train car, and I don't think we will be allowing the children to have any more cruciferous vegetables without taking the Beano."

 

"Dad, I think that would be a very good idea. By the way, Jaiden, Dale, Charley, and I have had two bottles of milk, two peanut butter sandwiches, and two bananas." "Peyton, please tell me y'all didn't actually eat that."

 

"Oh, no, Dad, we did. There has to be some punishment for what you had the kids do to us. Dale's and Charley's parents will watch the children on the bus and train until we get back to the hotel tonight. Dale, Charley, Jaiden, and I will be giving you, Mom, and Dr. Mom our undivided attention for the rest of the day." "Oh, God!" "Yeah, I can see calling on God; you just thought the children stunk; just wait."

 

Chuck walked to his grandpa and said, "Gwanpa, Nathan Robert is farting, and it stinks real bad; can I sit in your lap?" "Yeah, big fellow, climb up in Grandpa's lap." Chuck climbed onto his lap, wiggled around, and then cut the stenchiest fart of the day.

 

"Holy crap! Dale, do you smell that?"

 

"Chuck, nobody can help smelling that. How in the world can something that bad come out of a fellow who is so cute?" "I don't know, Dale, but watch this."

 

"Hey, Charley." "Yes, Dad." "Come over here for a minute." Charley walked over to his dad, smelled what little Chuck had done, and exclaimed, Holy cow, did my son do that?" "

 

Indeed, he did, Charley, and I intend to make you pay for it tonight." Charley knew that when his dad was playing payback, things could get rather rough, and when his dad made that statement, Charley turned white. Big Dale was doing everything he could not to burst out laughing at Charley.

 

When Charley walked off, Big Dale asked Jim, "What do you intend to do to Charley tonight?" "Not a damned thing, Dale; I am going to let him stew in his own worry all day and this evening. I guarantee you that will be payback enough."

 

"Jim, that is truly mean." "You're damned right it is, Dale; it's also fun. That boy of mine is gonna be jumping out of his skin all day, and I will have so much fun watching him fret."

 

A little while later, Charley's mom noticed he seemed nervous for some reason, looked at Chuck, and asked, "Hon, Charley seems really nervous; do you know what is eating at him?"

 

"Yep. He had Chuck come over, crawl up in my lap, and cut the smelliest fart I have smelled in a long time, so I lit a fire under the red-haired bubble ass of his."

 

"You didn't!"

 

"Oh yes, I did, and I am going to let him worry all day about what I am going to do to him tonight."

 

"And that is Chuck?"

 

Not a thing. I got him making him think I was going to do something. Our son may have a new Ph.D., but I am still leagues above him in smarts."

 

"Chuck, Charley is my son, too. Don't go to sleep tonight." With that said, Lindsey turned and walked off to play with her grandchildren.

 

"Charley.

 

"Yes, mam, Mom."

 

"Come here for just a minute. Take a look at your dad." Mom, he is almost solid white." "That he is, son, he was born that way; I just helped him become a little whiter. He isn't going to do anything to get back at you tonight, and he never was; he was ensuring you were going to fret over what he might be planning, which is nothing – and don't go telling him I told you. Now you know what he is nervous about - you don't piss off mother nature when it comes to her children."

 

Charley leaned over, kissed his mom, smiled, and told her he loved her."

 

Alaina Noelle saw her dad do that, and she went over and hugged and kissed her grandma and said, "I love you, Grandma."

 

Her brothers eyed her closely, and they weren't about to be outdone by their sister. Guess what they did; you got it, except it was to both of their grandmothers. Special treats would be the rule of the day.

 

Phyllis asked her grandsons, "Aren't you going to kiss your grandmas and your grandpa like your brothers did?" "We can't, Grandma; Daddy Jaiden told us we couldn't sucker you for anything." "Did your Daddy say it like that?" "Uh-huh!"

 

"Hmm. Your Granny and I will fix that; come give us a kiss and a hug." The boys complied and did as they were told. Jaiden watched them closely, and when they did that, he walked over to where the grandparents were sitting and started to ask a question when his mom stopped him in mid-sentence and said, "If you say one word to those boys, you will be scratching the backs of your eyeballs with my beautifully painted toenails." As Phyllis finished saying that to Jaiden, Phyllis chimed in and said, "And when your mom wrestles her foot out of your rear-end, you can scratch the backs of your eyeballs with my south Alabama toenails with cow manure under them!"

 

Jaiden turned and said, "Damn!"

 

His mom asked, "Son, what do you mean by `Damn'?" "Mom, I told the boys not to try to sucker you out of anything and to be polite." "Well, son, they did as you instructed them, so Phyllis and I took care of that – or at least we will."

 

"Yeah, I know, Mom. It's a hell of a note when five little boys can sucker their dad like they just did me!"

 

Peggy started laughing heartily and clapping her hands in her usual fashion. Jaiden turned and walked back to where Peyton was sitting with and talking to his dad. Jim asked, "OK, Jaiden, what did those ladies do to you?" "Well, Dad, they just helped the boys sucker me in Royal fashion - excuse the pun." "I knew something happened, son."

 

Jaiden's cell phone rang, and he walked to a quiet spot to answer it. When he hung up, Peyton asked who in the world called him in England, of all places.

 

"Hubby, that was the Palace Protocol office. We are to be at the Palace tomorrow evening at six pm, and I was instructed to wear jeans, a comfortable shirt, and sneakers. We'll be having a British cookout outside at Williams' and Katherine's home so all the children can play together. They understand we don't partake in alcohol, so the office said no aperitifs would be served." Peyton said, "Good. I wouldn't be comfortable turning down a drink the Prince and Princess offered me."

 

The children were having a great time crawling in and out of the old burial mound – and getting wet and muddy. While they were playing, a lady was sitting on a scooter watching the family interact. She eventually rode over to where the adults were sitting and commented on how much fun she had watching the children and how much good it had done her heart watching them play and be so happy.

 

Another lady came up with a walker and a rather handsome young man. The lady on the scooter introduced herself as Donna, and the other lady introduced herself as Linda and said the handsome young man was her boyfriend, Chris, and explained that Chris was Donna's carer and that they were all good friends.

 

They asked Donna where a good place was to feed their large crowd, and she suggested the American Restaurant in Peterborough.

 

Charley said trying Britain's version of American cuisine would be interesting, so they loaded up and headed to the restaurant. Jaiden told Donna and crew to join them for dinner and experience the confusion of feeding ten children something they would eat, so she, Chris, and Linda joined the crowd at the restaurant.

 

When everyone had finished their dinner, and the children had been taken to the loo prior to going for the train ride back to London, Donna and her trio went to pay for their meal and discovered the cost had been covered by the `doctors.'

 

She had no idea any of the young men were doctors, so she asked them about that. Peyton explained that he, Jaiden, Peter, and Richard were pediatricians specializing in oncology and related surgeries and that Leon was the Clinical Psychologist for the medical practice. He then said that in two more semesters, Seth would become a doctor of veterinary medicine like his dad.

 

Donna was amazed that she was in the midst of young men of such talents and brilliance. She uttered to Chris that she wondered what the children would become when they grew up.

 

Chris replied, "I have no idea, but with dads and grandparents who are doctors, they will probably go into medicine. That little girl, though, is tough as nails, and I can see her being a professor of Criminology in a major university somewhere."

 

About that time, Alaina Noelle snapped and got her brothers in line as they huddled together, quivering at the fear of upsetting their little sister. Donna really giggled when she saw that and said, "You go, girl!"

 

When the trio got back to Donna's house, she looked at Chris and Linda and said, "That's what you two need - a bunch of little children." Chris didn't say anything as he walked to the kitchen, picked up a bottle of dishwashing liquid, and handed it to Donna. "What's that for," Donna asked. Chris told her to put a couple of drops on her tongue.

 

"Why in the world would I do that," Donna asked. "Chris replied, "to get the thought of Linda and me having ten children off your mind and out of your head." The three had a good chuckle at what Chris said. Donna knew it was true that the last thing either of them needed was ten little children running around their homes.

 

The following day, the children would be taken to the London Zoo. Since there are over 750 species in the zoo, that would be an all-day affair before going to the Palace to have dinner with Prince and his family.

 

One of the animals the children enjoyed seeing was the monkeys with beards, as they called them. Alaina Noelle was mesmerized and thrilled at getting to feed and pet the meerkats. Chuck was thrilled at getting to see and feed a giraffe. He looked at Dale and said, "Daddy, that giraffe has a sticky tongue." Dale asked him if he knew why, and Chuck said, "No, sir; why?" "Son, it helps them to pull leaves to eat from the tops of trees." "Oh, Daddy, sort of like when Nathan Robert pulls grapes off the vine at the house with his mouth and tongue?" Dale howled at Chuck's comment, saying, "Yes, buddy, pretty much just like the way Nathan Robert gets grapes off the vine at home."

 

When they got to the lion's section of the zoo, Jaiden and Peyton were curious as to what comment their boys would make when they saw the big cats. They almost fell rolling on the ground when nearly every one of their boys pointed at the lions and said, "Look, Daddy, big damn cat."

 

Jaiden looked at Peyton, Charley, and Dale as he asked them if they thought they would ever get the boys to stop calling cats `damn cats.' All said, "Probably not. Let's just hope the comments don't get terser."

 

That evening, when Alaina was playing with Princess Charlotte and the boys were playing with Princes George and Louis, the boys told George and Louis that they had been to the zoo. Prince George asked the boys if they had seen the `big damn cat.'

 

Kathryn heard her son say that, quickly rebuked him, and told him to watch his language. The guys were about to bust a gut to laugh when Jaiden said, "Kathryn, we've been fighting that description for the last three years, and we don't know if we will ever get the boys to stop describing cats that way."

 

She replied, "Please don't tell me that." Peyton said, "OK, we won't; but I will suggest you learn to do the same thing we do."

 

"And what would that be, Peyton?" "Ya just gotta learn to laugh at it and let it go. The less you call attention to what they say when they see a cat, the quicker they will get over saying it."

 

"As soon as we hear the children describe a cat with their words, we quickly say, `Beautiful cat.' Once in a while, the boys will slip up and say beautiful cat instead of uttering the other phrase." Kathryn said she and William would have to try that technique.

 

Dinner was more than delicious; everyone was stuffed with the great `British' hamburgers and chips.

 

The adults let the children play for maybe another hour and a half before they parted company to return to the hotel to get them bathed and in bed. The way the two Princes looked and the way the guy's sons looked, they definitely had a good time playing and getting dirty.

 

The next day, the guys got another call from the protocol office. They were shocked when they were asked if it would be OK if their children spent the night with the Royals so they could play together one more time before they flew back to the States.

 

Of course, the dads said yes, and the next morning, they took the children, and a change of clothes for each, back to the Palace grounds. While the children were under the care of the Prince and Princess of Wales, all the adults would take in a play at the London Theatre.

 

The guys and their entourage saw the play I Believe In Unicorns which they thoroughly enjoyed. Afterward, they toured the Tower of London, Westminster Abby, explored the underground tombs, heard haunting stories about past happenings, and walked around the old Royal Naval College. They wouldn't have been able to do that with the children in tow.

 

Not missing the opportunity, all the young doctors turned in early for obvious reasons. Seth and Andrew stayed on the roof of the motel with Seth's parents (Andrew's grandparents) while Sally and Richard enjoyed, shall we say, rather amorous activities leading into the wee hours of the morning.

 

Peyton and Jaiden cuddled and whispered sweet nothings into each other's ear. Jaiden gave Peyton a long, sensual massage, after which he laid on his lover as they writhed together like snakes in a mating ritual. When the two had spent themselves and were out of breath, they cuddled and went peacefully to sleep, holding each other as they have since day one of their relationship.

 

When they arose the next morning and had showered, they called Dale and Charley, and the four decided to go to the Wolseley Restaurant for a traditional British breakfast of curried kedgeree, Scottish haggis with fried eggs and grilled kipper with mustard butter. Their fruit serving consisted of caramelized pink grapefruits, served with a bowl of Bircher muesli and baskets piled high with croissants. When they finished their breakfast, they strolled down Piccadilly and through Green Park to Buckingham Palace to retrieve their children after lunch.

 

The Dads went to William's and Kathrine's home shortly before noon and were escorted to the Royal residence by Palace security. When they arrived, all of the children were playing in sprinklers outside and having the best time ever.

 

The children saw their dads and ran to them for a hug and the traditional Riley kiss on the forehead. Strangely, all three of the Royal children ran to the dads and received the same hug and kiss.

 

When the amigos arrived, William and Katheryn were sitting at a table on the patio, watching the children playing and laughing their heads off.

 

Richard, Sally, Leon, and Peter were with the four amigos at the Palace to pick up the children and got swarmed by their niece and nephews. William remarked about how well-behaved the children were the day and night before and what a joy it had been to have them spend time with George, Charlotte, and Louis.

 

Kate spoke up and said, "There was one particular thing we noticed about the children: George, Nathan-Robert, and Chuck are three of a kind, and Jason, Abraham, Mark, and our Louis are so much alike we would almost swear they were quadruplets. All of the children were an absolute joy to have in our home. It was the first time that George, Charlotte, and Louis had friends over to spend the night, and they thoroughly enjoyed spending time with their new friends."

 

Jaiden grinned at the comparison between Nathan-Robert, Chuck, and Prince George and told Kate and William that he would daven for them, which drew a laugh from everybody. He also said how proud he was that Prince Louis, Jason, Abraham, and Mark got on so well.

 

The Royals invited the American entourage to have pizza with them and the children, but the guests politely declined, stating that they had a huge, traditional British breakfast at Wolseley's.

 

William asked, "So, did you guys try the curried kedgeree?" "We did, and Dale has already gotten the recipe and will prepare the dish for us when we get home." "What did you think about the Haggis?" "It was definitely interesting, but we enjoyed it immensely – especially considering you can't buy it in the States."

 

William asked, "Why not?" "It seems our government has decided that sheep lungs are unfit for human consumption, yet they allow pig intestines to be cooked and served a hundred different ways."

 

"Pig intestines! What do those things taste like?" "Charley jumped at the chance to answer that question, and Jaiden and Peyton hung their heads and said a quick prayer that Charley's explanation would be somewhat appropriate.

 

Charley said, "William, the first thing you do is sling the crap out of the intestines. Then you tie them to a hose and flood them with water until they look clean. You are supposed to strip the white lining out of them before you boil, bake, or batter and fry them. Then when you taste them, you spit them out as hard and fast as possible because they taste just like what you slung out of them." William died laughing and said, "You are kidding, aren't you?" Jaiden assured William that Charley's assessment of chitlins was very accurate and told the story about when Charley ordered some for the children to try when they lived in Memphis.

 

"What did the children do when they tasted them, William asked. Charley said, "You know when I said you bake, boil, or batter and fry them after properly cleaning them? Well, that was done, and when the children tried them, they hurriedly spit them out onto their plates and promptly got me told. I have never lived that down with the children." William and Kate snickered at what Charley had to say.

 

Lunch was completed, and the dads gathered the children and headed back to the hotel, where they would meet up with the others in the group and decide what to do next. Everybody said they enjoyed the trip because nothing was scripted and they had fun flying by the seat of their pants while doing whatever they wanted.

 

As the week was drawing to a close, castles across the UK had been seen inside and out, children's parks and zoos had been experienced, many restaurants had been visited, and weird foods (for Americans) had been tried and enjoyed.

 

Charley, Dale, and Peyton having been born and raised in the South, particularly enjoyed the Haggis. Jaiden turned green at the thought of having tried it.

 

Saturday morning came around too quickly, and the crowd headed to Heathrow Airport to catch their flight home. They flew to the UK on United Airlines and would fly home with the same company.

 

As they boarded the jet, the crew they flew to the UK with was waiting eagerly to see the children to whom they would be giving special gifts. As each child got on the plane, they were given United Airlines jumpsuits similar to the ones Ford had sent to them.

 

True to nature, the children weren't bashful at being seen scantily clad and shucked off their clothes and donned the United Airlines jumpsuits they had been given. Then they went to each flight crew hostess and gave them a hug and a kiss and handed them one card each with a gift inside.

 

During the flight, those children didn't want for anything because the stewardesses kept them supplied with nutritious drinks and snacks and served them meals that even the first-class passengers didn't get.

 

When the flight landed in Erie, each stewardess got another hug and kiss from the children, but the pilots got something extra special: a kiss on the cheek from Alaina Noelle, who then looked up at Dale and said, `Daddy, they're CUTE!" which made Dale and Charley blush a bright, crimson red. It gave the pilots a nice chuckle.

 

Their trip was featured on the evening news in Erie, and the final comment from the anchors was, "Once again, the Riley-Reynolds and Leonard-Anderson children amazed everyone on the flight with their amazingly good behavior. Rick Martin, the Pilot, and Nelson Peterson, the First Officer, said, "we thoroughly enjoyed having the incredibly well-behaved children on our flight, especially Alaina Noelle - who said we are cute."