Joseph, who was just thirty-six years old, was perfectly integrated into the Charterhouse as a physical education teacher and a sports coach. He was appreciated by his colleagues and loved by the boys. But who literally was crazy about him, was Armand Dubois of the Cheetah, the eighteen year old family-head, who also had in his house his three younger brothers: Guy, fifteen, Patrick, eleven, and Raoul seven years old. They had been in the house for six years, after the death of both their parents, killed by mistake during an IRA terrorist attack, while they were on vacation in North Ireland.
Armand was a well-developed big boy, he had a merry and quick-witted air; he wasn't handsome, but pleasant, and he was an athlete of remarkable talents. He excelled in swimming, hurdles and rings. He had a protective attitude towards his younger brothers, but never permissive; he was thoughtful, careful and affectionate, and his three younger brothers adored him. Anyway, Armand never showed favouritism towards his brothers; he treated them like the other boys of the house, so that nobody could complain.
Armand didn't excel in his studies, but he had anyway good marks and seldom risked not to pass his grades. The only fault of the boy, that he too recognised, was a tendency to laziness, to put off till tomorrow what he had to do. This might seem odd in a boy so passionate for sports, but to explain it with Armand's words, "My laziness is something like inertial force - if I'm seated, I tend to stay seated; if I walk, I tend to go on walking. I mean that I feel in myself a strong temptation not to change what I am doing, not to face new situations".
Armand, as we were saying, was crazy about Joseph. But the fact is that Joseph became aware that he was irredeemably falling in love with the boy. At first he tried to keep this feeling under control, he tried to rationalize it, to persuade himself that he did not have to surrender... He had already passed through this kind of thing once and, as he himself said, it had been a nightmare. Moreover he feared that he had harmed, although unwillingly, the boy with whom in the past he had had a relationship... Therefore now he absolutely didn't want to repeat the same mistake.
But the more he was struggling against his sentiments, the more they seemed to increase, to strengthen, to become hard to curb, to tame, to restrain. Therefore at a certain point he decided he had to go and talk with Serge, to ask him for advice and help before it was too late... hoping it was not already too late.
"Serge, I've got a problem, I'm relapsing..." the young man began to say with a disconsolate air, sitting heavily on the chair in front of the dean's desk.
Serge looked at him with an interrogative expression, "Relapsing... in what?"
"I'm falling head over heels for the chief of the Cheetah, for Armand Dubois... I don't know what to do... It would possibly be better if you gave me a sabbatical year, so that I return after Armand has already left the Charterhouse..."
"Ah! And do you believe that problems are solved by running away?"
"When one is about to lose a battle, isn't it wiser to make a strategic retreat than going on to fight?" Joseph asked in a dejected tone.
Serge smiled, "A strategic retreat is done when one intends to resume the fight later... Against whom? Yourself? Armand? Possibly the love for another boy?"
"Why, you in my shoes, what would you do? And don't answer me that you aren't in my shoes, please. I really need advice and I know you can and are able to give it to me."
"I'm not the Eternal Father, of course, but... yes, a friend cannot refuse to give advice. But, tell me, is Armand also in love with you?"
"I don't know... at times I would answer he is, but I'm afraid I'm just projecting my hopes on him and that it is not reality. Anyway I think I can say he admires me, possibly even too much, and that he always does so as to please me, to... to cut a good figure with me... Also other boys do so, but he... I would say that he overdoes..."
"Did he ever tell you things, or did he ever behave in a way to let you know that he is in love with you?"
"Yes... from leaving flowers on my desk, to telling me he really wants to become like me... to being omnipresent to pick up something that I let fall down, to handing me something before I can say I need it... to leaving me delightful greeting cards he makes for every occasion... He doesn't miss any of them - my birthday, name day, Christmas, Easter, beginning of the vacations, Republic day... and what more can one think!"
"So, it's at least a year he behaves so with you."
"More than a year and... increasingly."
"All this, then doesn't make you understand that, quite possibly, he too is in love or is falling in love with you?"
"It could be, but that only worsens my position towards him... Because if he didn't like me, I would know that there is no room for my feelings towards him. So, on the contrary..."
"In a similar situation, some years ago, I advised the two persons involved to meet and to openly talk, clearly talk... and try to solve the problem together..."
"But I... I am afraid to be alone with him... up to now I always avoided being alone with him."
"Afraid? But why?"
"Because... because I'm afraid that instead of talking... I would take him into my arms and kiss him, don't you see?"
"Listen, Joseph... would you like for me to talk with Armand, to try to understand what he feels for you, what he expects from you or hopes of you?"
"Well... it could possibly be useful... I know that the boys usually open their hearts with you... Yes, it could be useful, and anyway it can't hurt..."
So, the day after, Serge summoned Armand to his office.
"You wanted to see me, dean?"
"Yes, have a seat. How are you doing, Armand?"
"Very fine, thank you."
"Health, studies, sports, your house..."
"Everything is all right, really. Why, there is some problem?"
"No, no... I just wanted to know, if you feel like telling me, how it goes with your teacher and sports coach, with Joseph..."
"Ah, Joseph?" the boy said and suddenly seemed somewhat tense, even though he was going on smiling like before, "Everything is all right. Did he complain about me?"
"No, on the contrary... But tell me, and forgive the frankness of my question, but you know that here at the Charterhouse we always say that frankness is a very good thing... what do you feel towards him?"
This time Armand became serious. "What I feel for Joseph? I have esteem, admiration, I think he is very likeable, a very good teacher and coach..."
"But what do you feel for him?"
"I... My God, Serge! I am in love, I lost my head for him... This is what I feel! But he... he seems to keep his distance... He is always kind to me, he helps me like or even better than the others in the activities, possibly... But I never succeed in being alone with him, he seems to avoid it expressly..."
"And if he did expressly so, in your opinion, why does he act so?"
"Because he understands I am in love with him... and wants to make me understand that it is not the case with him, as he is not in love with me. That he likes me, but just as he likes any other boy. What else could it mean, but this?"
"Did you ever try to tell him?"
"In front of all the others? I would just embarrass him... I cannot..."
"But you can write him a letter, can't you? Where you tell him all you feel for him and ask him to tell you what he feels for you. Don't you think it would work, instead of wearing yourself out in this way?"
"It could be so... But I have to leave in one year... and it could seem I'm asking him just to have a nice fuck together, don't you think?"
"No, I don't think so... if you talk to him about your love. Joseph is neither a superficial man nor a dumb one. I think he would understand your true feelings."
"That rule of the five years... even though it is now somewhat more flexible... I would like to be immediately, and forever, and always with him... But at the same time, I cannot leave my little brothers, do you see? That is, I mean, when I have to go away from here, I will have to leave them, even though I can come to see them. But as soon as I have my own home, I can take them with me as they grow up. But if I went to live with him... I cannot ask him to take all four of us into his home, can I? So, do you see, however I turn it, I would be in a big mess."
"Anyway... your brothers will anyway grow up and make their own life... I don't see where the problem is."
"Well, possibly my ideas are somewhat muddled, because I never thought about it thoroughly... because I think that really Joseph is not interested in me, therefore the problem doesn't exist, does it?"
"Armand, how can you be sure that Joseph is not interested in you? Why don't you talk with him clearly? And you can possibly talk with him also about the fact that you don't intend to separate from your brothers more than what's strictly necessary..."
At the end, as Serge hoped, Joseph and Armand met alone and they talked without too many roundabout expressions. One Sunday they went downtown together, and sat in a coffee house, at a secluded table.
"Armand, I have a problem and I decided that the best thing is talk about it with you, in a clear way..."
"Yes, I know. So then, let's talk about it..."
"I will start... Well, Armand, I'm totally in love with you..."
"With me? You... with me?" the boy asked, widening his eyes.
"Yes, but... you see, some years ago I had to leave public teaching for a similar problem, and I am also afraid I unwillingly harmed that boy. And I wouldn't harm you too, therefore I resisted my sentiments, my impulses... Also because I feared that my sentiment was not returned..."
"Oh, shit! And I was thinking the same about you... I too Joseph am in love with you and would like so much... so very much to become your boy. But..."
"But? Are there problems? I mean... I too can see problems but... I would like to first know those you see..."
"I... if I came to live with you... I don't feel like leaving my brothers. We four are orphans since we were small children, and as you know I'm the elder one, so I always felt responsible for them..."
"Why should you leave your brothers if we were together?"
"I can't ask you to... to take them also with us... Can I?"
"Don't you think that I, together with you, could be for them like... like a father or perhaps just like an older brother?"
"Yes, but... on one side, if you too are in love with me, I would like very much to live with you. But at the same time I would like to live also with them..."
"We could live all five together, don't you think?"
"But how? They are anyway here at the Charterhouse... as long as they aren't of age, they have to stay here. As soon as I become of age, I can apply to the tribunal to name me their guardian, but besides that it is not something I can do so soon, I would never be able to give them all what they get here at the Charterhouse..."
"But if... if I... if I found a way to adopt all four of you? Or at least to be named your guardian... and if we found a way to live all five together?"
"Would you do it?"
"For you... I would to it at once!"
"But how can we live together... staying here at the Charterhouse? We boys have anyway to leave when we are nineteen..."
"This could possibly be solved. If I rented an apartment here downtown, I could take you to the Charterhouse each morning, until you become nineteen... so you all could live together and at the same time go on enjoying the advantages of the Charterhouse as you did up to now..."
"Would you do it?" Armand asked again, then added, "But would we be allowed to come to the Charterhouse as... external students? I never heard about something like that..."
"You are right, but we can try and, who knows... there always is a first time for everything, isn't there? And you know that Serge, if he can, would help us..."
"And you... do you really want me?"
"And you? Do you want me?"
"My God, Joseph... I desire nothing but that!"
"So, then, let's go and talk with Serge."
"And... when... when..."
"When, what?" Joseph asked with an encouraging smile.
"If I really can become your boy... when..."
"Will we make love?"
"Yes. If it were only for me to decide... I would even do it now, here, immediately... Joseph, you don't know how much I desire you, how much I dream of you... How much I feel I need you!"
"So, then, let's now go back to the Charterhouse. First of all you will come up to my place, in my room... Later we will look for Serge and talk with him. Is that all right?"
"Yes, but... much later. I am longing to be in your arms, Joseph... Let's go, come on!" he said standing up, a tone of urgency in his voice, his eyes shining.
They went back, almost in hurry, up to the Charterhouse; Joseph lead him to the Old Guest House to his room, they shut the door and were in each other arms, Armand kissed Joseph with an ardour that the man didn't expect and that pleased him. With feverish hands they undressed each other - they had already seen each other naked, in the occasion of sports activities in the ex-church, but this time their nudity had a totally new and different flavour, as they were offering it to each other.
Armand pushed the man onto his bed, "Will you take me now, and then, if you like it, can I take you?" he asked, his voice hoarse with passion.
"Of course I would like it. I want only to make you happy, Armand... Oh, my Armand... Mine! I never though I could one day call you so, do you know?"
The boy leaned back on the bed and spread his legs so offering himself to the young man who, standing near the edge of the bed, seized him on the thighs and took him with transport and passion. Armand emitted a long and low moan and when Joseph started to hammer in him, the boy, caressing his chest and belly, started to moan low in rhythm with the virile pushing of his man.
"Yes... so... oohh... how good... go on... yes... I love it... ooohhh... Joseph... my man..."
Before reaching his orgasm, the young man parted from his boy, bent over him to kiss him again on the mouth, then climbed on the bed on all four and invited Armand to take him. The boy kneeled between Joseph's legs and, after pushing his member all the way inside him with a fierce lunge, embraced him leaning against his back, teasing his nipples, and started to pump inside him vigorously.
They alternated their roles until both of them reached such an intensity of pleasure as to not be able to control themselves anymore and first Armand unloaded in the shuddering depths of his man, then Joseph poured all his manly nectar into the sweet and welcoming depths of his boy.
They then lay down on the bed, gradually relaxing, smiling and lightly playing with the tips of their tongues.
"Joseph... I imagined it would be good doing it with you... but not that good!"
"My boy! It's good being able to utter these words, do you know? And I am your man, and also saying this is very good, isn't it?"
"So very beautiful! Thank you Joseph, thank you..."
"For... existing, and for having accepted me."
When they finally emerged from Joseph's room, hand in hand, and went downstairs, onto the square, they crossed some of Joseph's colleagues who, just seeing them, understood what just happened between them, and who greeted them with a friendly smile.
Serge was not at home. They would meet him only the day after. They went to see him together, to thank him and to ask him to help them to find the best solution to make their project real.
"So, you finally decided to tie a bond. Congratulations to both of you. About the problem of your little brothers, Armand... Unhappily, according to the laws, only a married couple can adopt children. But as Joseph guessed, on our request, he can became your guardian, and this is the nearest to an adoption our laws allow us to go. It isn't a fast procedure, because of bureaucracy, but I don't foresee obstacles.
"About living all the five together... you see... my though is as follows - I don't think it is a good idea to accept external students, because this would set a difficult to manage precedent. This is not a boarding school, but a group of family-houses that have an internal school. And if you all went to live downtown, we couldn't consider you still like internal members... Also the idea that Armand comes to live in Joseph's room is not a positive thing, and even less if Joseph comes to live in Armand's room in the house. Separation between adults and boys is not a principle, an end in itself, it answers to legal and social requirements. Also for that we cannot give birth to a precedent.
"To make love, you can just meet, in the room of one or the other of you... but nothing more; and anyway I really don't think that the rule of the nineteen years should be changed, as up to now it worked very well... and anyway we can't change a rule only to favour somebody... When Joseph gets guardianship of all you four, he can take all four of you away from here, but he could not keep you here... we don't have residences for family groups... and we don't want to have them, to avoid having... first rate and second rate boys, that is boys with a family and boys without a family - this would undermine our system of family-houses, you can well understand that..."
"Therefore it is a dead end..." Joseph remarked in a sad and worried tone, looking at Armand to see how he took Serge's speech.
"But, Serge," then Armand said, "What if my little brothers and I remained in the family-house, each of us up to his nineteenth birthday, but then we went to live with Joseph? Wouldn't this be all right?"
"Yes, but if so you brothers would be separated." the dean answered.
"And Joseph and I, in order to live together, should be outside the Charterhouse, is that right?"
"Surely, it is exactly so."
"But we could come and see my little brothers... I don't say whenever we want, but quite often..."
"Of course. But you would have to live separated from them... at least as long as they haven't reached their nineteenth birthday... and this means, for your brother Raoul, who is the youngest one, this means some twelve more years, if I'm not wrong..."
"I wouldn't take them away from here, as we all have it way too good here, but at the same time I would like being allowed to take care of them... But when I become nineteen, for at least five years I cannot come back to the Charterhouse..."
"No, you can come here to see your brothers, of course, you just cannot work here for at least five years... it's different."
"So, then... if Joseph and I went to live down the road, in the guard house, I would not really be in the Charterhouse, but at the same time it would be easy for me to often see my little brothers, wouldn't it? Wouldn't this be possible?"
Serge scratched his chin, reflecting, then said, "It could be a solution, but only after you are nineteen... or anyway after Joseph gets your guardianship..."
"But in the mean time, either Joseph at my place or I at his place... we can go on making love, as we did the other evening... can't we?"
"Yes, provided that none of you lives, that is spends the night, in the other's room..."
Armand looked at Joseph, then Serge, "We can do that, can't we?"
"Yes... and possibly you, Armand... at least for the first five years after your nineteen birthday... you can be hired as a gate guard... if we considered the house down the road as a point at the same time inside and outside the Charterhouse... But if in the future other cases like yours arise, what will we do? Will we put all of them in the guard house?" Serge asked.
"Why not? I don't think that cases like ours will really multiply so much... and possibly on the left of the road we can build another house symmetrical to the existing guard house... don't you think so?" Joseph asked with a hint of hope in his voice.
So this solution was submitted to the council, and after long discussions was accepted. So it was decided to build another house identical to the existing guard house, on the other side of the road, connecting them with an arch with a beautiful wrought iron gate. When Armand was nineteen, he went to live there together with Joseph, and Armand got a salary as a gate guard. Just before this, Joseph got guardianship of all four brothers from the minors' tribunal.
In that same year another couple started. Fabien, who at nineteen had had to leave the Charterhouse, found a job in the town's post office. He settled, rented a small room for a cheap price, and even bought a motorbike. And one day he went up to the Charterhouse and asked to see Philippe.
"Oi, Fabien! How are you?" the young man, who was now thirty-five, greeted him.
"Quite well. I found a job, a home... and also bought this bike. It isn't as beautiful as yours, but... And you, are you still the librarian?"
"Of course, and I love it. I can read plenty of books and get a better culture."
"Philippe, you asked me to... grow up, leave the Charterhouse, then to come and talk again with you... you know about what. Well, here I am. And I am still in love with you, and would like... would like to know if I still have a hope... or not."
"Fabien... you became a really handsome boy... I have to confess you that, if before, when you were a kid, I didn't feel so much attracted to you... now I find you really attractive, desirable. But, honestly, I can't accept your court without being in love with you. Because you, I'm certain, aren't asking me to just have a good fuck, but something much more serious. Am I wrong?"
"Surely you are not wrong. You told me that one day we could resume that conversation... and I couldn't wait for that day, and now... that day came, didn't it?"
"What would you like me to do, then?"
Fabien slyly smiled, "You know very well what I would like you to do with me, come on! But no, let's speak seriously. I only want us to start to see each other, as anyway for four more years I can't even come to work here at the Charterhouse, assuming they would hire me. I would like you to come downtown, in your free time, to spend time with me, to see if... if by chance... if you feel like, sooner or later... to return my love, or else if I can maybe get over... what I feel for you."
"To spend time with you as... as friends, or as... what?"
"Let's say as friends, but real, close friends. To get to know each other better. Well, I wouldn't say that if you tried to do it with me I would refuse, to the contrary... But above all to get to know each other better and see if my hopes can have a future."
"Fabien, if as a boy I liked you, now... now I like you a lot... You really grew up very handsome, at least in my opinion. And I can confess to you that I got a hard-on just being near you. But... If I met you by chance, what can I say, for instance in a movie theatre, I would stretch out a hand and I would try to get you into my bed, I can assure you. But... But I know you are hoping for something more from me. Something more that, for the moment, there isn't."
"For the moment, you said... Couldn't we try and see if... if by chance... if I can get to make you fall in love with me?"
"Yes... but what tells you that I... that I won't just try to get you into my bed? You are no kid any more... and I just told you what effect you have on me, didn't I?"
Fabien smiled, "What tells you that I wouldn't anyway like coming into your bed? You too have the same effect on me. It is not that when one is in love he just has spiritual thoughts, don't you know? One has also carnal desires..."
"But I... I want to respect you... not only use you for pleasure."
"That is a wonderful starting point, I think..."
So they met several times, talked about a lot of things, started to really get to better know and appreciate each other. At times they still exchanged flirtatious sentences or explicit quips about their mutual sexual desire, and yet they didn't yet even give each other a kiss, a caress... nothing.
But Philippe was feeling more and more pleasure being with Fabien and he became aware that just before their meetings, he was longing to see him. He was thinking more and more often of the boy with increasing warmth.
Until one Sunday when they went out of town for a stroll along the river, after they had dinner together in a small scenic restaurant on the outskirts of town, Philippe suddenly but gently pushed Fabien against the trunk of a tree, leaned on him and French kissed him. The boy was caught unawares, but returned the kiss. When they parted, they looked in each other's eyes, with a serious expression, almost as if each of them wanted to reach the other's soul.
"What does this mean?" Fabien asked in a low voice.
"I don't know... I... I had just to do it... For a couple of hours I have thought of nothing but this."
"You want to fuck me?"
"It's not that... I felt the need to... to kiss you."
"Yes, but why?"
"Fabien... I want you!"
"Should I undress? Here nobody can see us..."
"No... I didn't say I want to fuck you... I said I want you."
"That is?" the boy asked, almost afraid he was under the illusion he understood rightly.
"I'm feeling too good with you... and I feel more and more bad without you... I want... I want to have you with me... I want you to live with me..."
"I discovered... I discovered I need you..."
"Say it, then..."
"Fabien... I... I love you!"
The boy emitted a light sigh and smiled, "Was it so difficult saying it? I love you too, you know it... you've known it for ages..."
"Don't you see, Fabien... I already told you everything about my life, even the more wretched details... you know everything about me... also the fact that I never loved anybody... and possibly now that makes it difficult for me to say it. I possibly am afraid to acknowledge it, because for me, to say to somebody I love you... means..." the young man said, and stopped talking, hesitantly.
"It means letting me totally be in the hands of the other."
"Is that so bad? So dangerous? You run no risks with me, because I too love you. I too am putting myself totally in your hands..."
"I'm an idiot, am I not?"
"Each of us can seem an idiot, when he is in love... because he doesn't put on any more airs, because he really becomes what he has to be. You, Philippe, you built on yourself the image of a playboy, of a dandy, of a... But you aren't so. You are a smart man, serious, and worth being loved, able to love. So then, why don't you tell me, won't you repeat it to me?"
"I love you, Fabien... and I want you."
The boy opened Philippe's shirt and bent down to suck his nipple. Philippe shuddered.
"So, then, take me, here, now... You want me to be yours, Philippe? Only yours? Take me..."
"Fabien... I love you!" Philippe repeated starting to undress the boy with calm and slow moves.
"Yes, make me yours and I will be the happiest guy in the world..."
"I love you..." Philippe repeated, and slipped the shirt off the boy's arms.
"Take me, make me feel how strong is your desire to make me yours..."
"I'm in love with you, Fabien, and I want you..." the young man said, opening Fabien's belt, then unbuttoning his trousers.
"I want you and I love you..." the young man repeated, almost taking pleasure in hearing himself utter these words, and with a slow but determined gesture, pushed the boy's trousers and underpants down to his ankles.
Fabien toed off his shoes, then finished taking off his trousers, always using just his feet, while his hands were opening the trousers of the man he had finally succeeded in conquering. Soon they both were naked, one in front of the other. The river was singing behind them.
Fabien caressed the hard member of the man that for years he had loved, that for years he had hoped could become his man; then wrapping both arms around Philippe's neck, hung on him, raising his legs and circling Philippe's waist with them, while the man was holding him up in his arms. The strong member of the man brushed in the back furrow of the boy.
"I want you..." he murmured, excited and moved.
"Take me, I want to be yours..."
His back leaning against the tree trunk, Fabien lowered a hand and drove the man's hard pole to its goal. Moving in harmony with each other, Philippe bent backward and pushed forwards and thrust his pelvis, while Fabien got leverage with his arms around the man's shoulders and with his legs around his waist; finally the tip of the incredibly hard member found the soft hole. Fabien sighed and lowered himself, holding himself against Philippe.
"Take me, make me yours..." he murmured while the hot rod was forcing open his sphincter, dilated it, and finally started to slip inside him.
"Oh, Fabien... my love..."
"Make me yours... forever... be my man!"
"And you my boy and my love!"
Philippe stepped back, withdrawing from near the tree, and at each of his paces, Fabien bounced up and down on his rod, happily impaled by the hot and strong member.
"Yes... so..." the boy merrily murmured.
Slowly Philippe went down until he was on his knees, then bent forward, supporting himself with a hand on the fresh and fragrant grass, until his boy's back leaned on the grass. He then gathered all his strength and started to hammer with virile joy in the boy who for so long waited for him.
"Are you happy being mine?" Philippe asked him with a smile filled with desire and love.
"So very happy! And you? Are you happy I am now totally yours?"
"I still almost can't believe it... Why did I wait for so long? How could I be scared by love? My god, it's so good being able to take you so, and to feel with how much pleasure you are giving yourself to me..."
"Say it again..."
"I love you... I love you... I love you..." the young man murmured with his voice hoarse for the pleasure, letting himself go to the pleasure of that union that had nothing to share with the so many times he had had sex with someone during his life.