Date: Fri, 8 Jun 2007 05:15:17 -0500 From: jasonsra@gmail.com Subject: My RA: Chapter 3 "This Is No Longer My Home." My RA Chapter 3 "This Is No Longer My Home" By Jason Walker My email is jasonsra@gmail.com I'm extremely sorry that it has taken this long for me to finish this chapter. I've just been so busy with the end of school and saying goodbye to friends. Again I'm sorry that it has taken this long. This is my first nifty story but I read enough of these that I'm giving it a try. The names have been changed but for the most part this is a true story. Besides that I really would love to hear comments back. If this writing style works, is there a good enough picture to understand the story, things like that. So without further interruption the story continues. "What is so funny? It's a good song." "I know you think so." He was still smirking. I didn't know at the time what that meant. "What is that supposed to mean?" I really wanted to know what he found so funny about that song. "Forget about it." He didn't make eye contact. "I'm bringin' sexy back," started playing again. "Are you serious? Stop calling me!" I looked up and there was the same damn smirk followed by a smile. It was that smile again. I loved that smile. As much as I was mad that he wouldn't tell me what was so funny, I couldn't turn away from him. Something about that smile he has just gives me this good feeling that I never want to lose. I dropped the ring tone question since I knew he wasn't going to answer. I just started small talk. "Where are you from?" "Well I grew in a small town a couple of hours from here. My parents don't live there anymore though." "Why?" "I was their only child. Once I was done with school there was no reason for them to live there anymore." He seems to really respect his parents. Something in his tone of the way he was telling me about them. "I was expecting them to just leave right after my graduation ceremony but they waited another two years before they moved to the east coast in North Carolina." "Wow, they really got out of the Midwest." "My parents love the ocean. There was something to remind you of the water in almost every room in the house." I could see that he was thinking about those rooms. Mentally walking through each room in that house he missed calling home. He looked back at me. "Do you parents still live in Omaha?" "Yeah... I have a younger brother who's a sophomore in high school back home. My parents want to move when he graduates. They are thinking Wyoming last I heard." "You don't seem too upset about it." He could see that I didn't really care what my parents did. "Well..." I paused thinking what I wanted to say. "I guess right now I just need my space from my parents." "Sorry, it's none of my business." "No it's alright. We just don't really see eye to eye on most things. But they are my parents." I sat there and pondered and realized I had forgotten what I was supposed to do that day. "I'm actually supposed to see them today." "Why?" "I'm supposed to go home today for my birthday." Mark had totally distracted me from what I was dreading. "Which means I need to get going so I can go get my car from the garage." "Well let's go get it." I was surprised that he wanted to come with me. The walk to the garage was longer then the walk back to our dorm. "Ok." We grabbed our trays and left the dining hall. We walked through campus to the parking garage. I remembered only that I was parked somewhere on the second level. After walking through the door to the second floor I didn't know which way to go. "Where did you park?" "That's the problem. I don't quite remember. I haven't seen my car in three weeks. It could be stolen for all I know." "Are you serious? You really are a freshman." "What is that supposed to mean? I don't drive my car that often." "You should probably check on it more then every three weeks. What kind of car is it? And you better not say a Honda civic because we will never find it." "It's not. It's a black H3." "I'm just going to start clicking the panic button." We walked for probably 5 minutes before I heard it... from the floor above us. After walking up to the next floor we finally got to my car. "This is a nice truck." "Graduation gift." I drove over to the dorm and parked out front. Mark and I took the elevator to our floor. "Well thanks for going to breakfast with me. It was nice having company for a change." "No problem. If you ever want someone to eat with just give me a call or something." "Ok, have a safe ride back. Happy Birthday." We both walked down our separate hallways. I was walking to room when I noticed a door that was open that I hadn't seen open before. There was two guys each sitting at their own desk. I stopped and knocked on the door frame. They both turned around. "Hey guys what's up? I haven't had a chance to meet you guys yet so I thought I'd stop by and introduce myself. I'm Jason." "Oh Hey I'm Sean." The one on the right says. Then the one on the left responds. "I'm Dan." At first glance they look like your normal college guys. There was something about Dan though made me want to keep talking to him though. He had sort of a rugged look. Little stubble, black sideburns, which came down to the end of his ear, and dark blue eyes. He was wearing some white Hollister shirt and red running shorts. He had a nice thick coat of hair on his arms and legs. I found that very attractive. "Are you guys freshmen?" "Yeah" I heard in unison. "What's your major, Dan?" "Business Administration. How about you? "Journalism major. Where are you guys from? "I'm from Iowa." Dan said. "North Dakota." Sean replied. "You?" "Nebraska." Some awkward staring between the three of us happed before I broke the silence. "I'm actually heading back home this weekend... so I guess I will see you guys later." I slowly strolled out of the room before it got any more awkward. I walked to my room and grabbed a couple of things and left school for the weekend. I was driving back and I could not stop thinking about Mark. I loved every moment of the night before. Just being around him made me feel good. How could I not, with what he said about me? I was lost in thought about Mark for over an hour when the sign for my exit snapped me back to reality. I was taking this someplace I shouldn't, which, once again, is what Mary told me exactly not to do. I reached my parent's house around dinner time. I pulled into my driveway and got out of my car. I was welcomed by my niece running out to the car. I picked her up and threw her into the air. This was getting harder for me to do, now that she was seven. "Uncle Jason, I missed you." "I missed you too." I carried her inside to see the rest of my family. They were all in the kitchen just chatting. When I walked in everyone looked at me. "Oh hunny you're home. How was the drive? I called your cell," my mother said as she walked over to me for a hug. "Sorry, I must not have heard my phone ring. The drive was fine though." I heard my phone I was just not ready to talk to her. I looked over at my dad. "Hey Dad." "Hey Jason. Any problem with the truck?" "No, it's fine." My parents, brother and sister and I continued our small talk about college, my roommate, and classes. There was no arguing, surprisingly, just us all standing around the kitchen talking. I missed times like these with my family, as much as I didn't want to admit it. The night went on and we got some takeout and had dinner at the house. My other sister, her husband and my nephew joined us at the house for dinner. We continued on with the normal birthday celebration, presents and cake. I could only take so much family time and then it was time to get out of there. Most of my friends were out of state so there wasn't really anyone to hang out with except for Mary when I came back home. I drove out to her small school in one of the neighboring cities. This was one of the longest periods we had gone without seeing each other. I called her and told her that I was outside her dorm. The next thing I saw was her running out the front door of her dorm. She ran up to me and I caught her in my arms. "Jason I missed you so much." "I feel like it's been so much longer then three weeks." The day I left for college, Mary came over to my house and watched me pack up the last of my things. I was sad to be leaving her but I had been waiting for college since the age of five. "Well let's go." "Where are we going again?" I asked. "I believe this is what you would call a surprise." "You are so sarcastic." "Yeah and you're not?" She gave me what I like to call "the bitch please face." We got into my car and she directed me to where are we going. After a short drive we pulled up to a strip mall. "Ok, what am I looking for?" "Over there, at the end." She pointed to the far right of the outdoor mall. I followed her hand and smiled. "Oh I love you." At the far end was little shop that had the word "Gelato." I love gelato. Mary and I would usually go out shopping or something and finish the day up with a nice scoop of gelato. "I know you do so let's get going." We walked into the shop and ordered a pint of gelato. We got it to go and we walked back to the car and I drove to a near by park and we sat there and just talked while eating our gelato. I missed doing that with her. "Tell me about college. You better have not found some other fag hag to replace me." "I wouldn't dream of it. School is good. I've met a lot of cool people. I have guy friends now. I can't remember the last time I could say that. My whole floor knows." "Really?" "Yeah I didn't plan on telling everybody on my floor but things kinda spread. I haven't really had a problem with anybody about it either." "That's what is different about you." "What do you mean?" "There was something different about you and I couldn't quite figure it out until now. You are so much more comfortable with yourself then you were in high school." "You really think so? I guess I can see what you mean. I'm just trying to move on." "With what your family did to you and what you were already going through in high school you needed to. I'm just glad that you are happy now... So are you going to tell me more about this Mark?" I spent the rest of the night telling her. After we finished talking I drove her back to her dorm and we said our goodbyes. While I was driving back home that night I kept thinking about what Mary had said about me changing. It had only been three weeks and she had already seen a change in me. After getting back my dad was in the kitchen waiting for me. "Hey Dad, you're still up." "I wasn't that tired. So I thought I just wait till you get back. This is the only time I get to see you." "Sorry, I guess I could have stayed in." "No it's alright. Just tell me about school." We went on for the next two hours talking about the school, the war, and friends. It was getting close to 4 o'clock in the morning. Any I had just got done telling him about one of my friends. When all the sudden he asked me a question I wasn't expecting. "Do you still umm... not like girls?" This was something that I didn't see coming. "No Dad, I still don't like girls." I know he truly wishes that I was not gay. I spend a lot of time wondering what my father thinks of me. "Ok. Well it's almost 4 a.m. I should get to bed and so should you. I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight, bud. I love you." "I love you too Dad. Our conversation had become awkward fast. It's not that I had a problem talking to him about being gay, I just know he does. I was getting ready for bed and once again, my thoughts had drifted back to Mark. I woke the next morning ready to go back to where I really consider home now. It is nice to finally have a place that I can call that. When I lived at my parent's house before it just seemed to be a place where I slept, and sometimes not even that. A lot of times I would just end up sleeping at a friend's house. Its crazy how I feel more at home at a place where more than thousand people sleep every night, yet I couldn't say that about a six bedroom house. It all comes down to the people that I now live with. The friends that I had made those last three weeks were becoming my family. I said my goodbyes and was on my way back to school. I was back in time for dinner. As soon as I got back all I wanted to do was go to Mark's room and see if he wanted to go do something. I didn't care what it was. I had already been missing him. And the stupid part about it was that we weren't anything. He's straight, why did I keeping thinking otherwise? I was walking to my room and I saw Mark coming down the hall in his towel carrying a shower basket. I was definitely ogling his body. "Hey Jason." "Oh Hey Mark." I tried to look him in the eyes but it was hard not to wander. "How was home?" "Good." "That's good. I'm going to shower." "Is that why you are in a towel?" "Ha-ha Jason." He walked past me to the bathroom and I watched the whole way. I was sitting in my room on my computer when I heard a knock on my door. I turned around to see Mark standing in my doorway. At the time I thought it had to be a dream. There stood Mark still in his towel but this time still a little wet from his shower. His hair was a little matted down. You could see beads of water still rolling down his chest and continue across his abs and then finally get absorbed by the towel. Oh how I would love to be that towel. Hell I would be one of the water beads. "Did you want to go to dinner?" He asked. Oh, how I was going to love this year.