Hello all. I am pleased that you have enjoyed this story. I didn't expect this chapter to be this long, but it kind of wrote itself. It's long! So ... be prepared to break it up.

Enjoy.

 

8 – March

Corey

"Knock, knock," Geoff said, opening our door.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked.

He looked and saw that Aiden wasn't here.

"He's at Donny's," I noted.

"Oh. I'm ... just in a weird funk."

"What's wrong?"

"Ohhh, Corey, I don't know. I'm just feeling ... left out."

"What do you mean?"

"I've mentioned wanting to go with Chicago with Ace sometime and he's ... never really committed to it. Now I find out that he is going with three other jock friends over Spring Break. He finally told me it has been in the works for weeks. He said he even was trying to figure out how to include me, but the car ... the lodging arrangements ... four works. Five doesn't. Talk about being a fifth wheel."

"They found a hotel that will rent to nineteen-year-old college student partiers?"

"I really don't know. I know it isn't a hotel, but ... someone knows someone. There's no room for me."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not a big deal, but ... I haven't felt this way in a while."

"What way?"

"Growing up, our family moved a lot. A LOT. Dad's job had him relocating every year or two. I don't even have a feeling for my `hometown.' We were all over. I lucked out to be in the same school my junior and senior year. But now I have these déjà vu feelings of being the new kid trying to fit in."

"Well, you fit in with us. Surely you know that."

"Of course ... yeah, I do. You guys are totally awesome. But ... I don't click with Ace like you and Aiden do with each other."

"Well, hey. We knew each other before we got to Notre Dame. You can't expect to just be as close after six months."

"Maybe. Most everyone just randomly gets assigned a roommate. Steve hates his ... well, that's a little strong. They don't blend. Casey totally clicks with Stewart. They're going to Miami over Spring Break with other friends." He sighed. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"You don't want to go home and relax?"

"I could. I suppose. Dad is away on business that week and Mom works. I'd see her in the evening. My older sister has graduated college and doesn't live at home. My youngest brother's high school doesn't match our schedule, so all I would have is my brother, two years older. He is going to Waynesburg University there at home. Pennsylvania. He'll be home too."

"And just chilling out doesn't sound good enough?"

"I'm sure it would be fine. It's just that feeling of ... not fitting in ... just sort of hits me."

"Nonsense."

"Plus ... that girl I slept with at Christmas will be home."

"Ah. Temptation?"

"Oh yeah."

"I get that."

"It's odd that you said that." Geoff left my room but left the door open. He returned seconds later. "I jotted down some new lyrics. Would you look at them?"

"You're becoming quite the songwriter." I took the sheet of paper from him. "Aha. I see the title is `Temptation.' Hmm."

I read the lines to Geoff's unwritten song.

"May I be honest?"

"Sure."

"This is good. I think so anyway. But this one verse ... here. To me ... and maybe it's just me ... you seem to be trying too hard to rhyme the word darker."

Geoff took the paper back and reread the verse. "Yeah. I guess it is a little forced."

"Want to work on it together?"

"Sure!"

I grabbed my keyboard. Our first attempts were clumsy, but Geoff hummed a strand of music that I found to be a good starting point. We worked on it for over an hour. I made some notes myself, but we placed our phones by the keyboard and recorded what we had done — just to have a record of it.

"I like writing songs with you, Corey."

"Same here." I paused. "Geoff, I can ask my parents. If — and I completely understand if you don't want to! — you would like to come home with me for Spring Break, you are welcome to."

"Really?"

"Sure. Fair warning, my parents are lame, and we'd split the time between them. And Jackson Bend isn't the coolest place. It's not Miami or Padre or anything like that."

"I don't care about that. I don't need to get drunk."

"Think about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Aiden's bringing Donny. Perhaps we could get together a few evenings. Besides, I miss everyone when we're not together. I'm dreading summer. I've gotten used to being ... well, not an only child."

"I don't..." Geoff looked confused.

"Well, it has been like having brothers. I love all our friends. When we're not together, it seems off. I felt that way over Christmas. I like having everyone around."

"You're a really nice person, Corey."

"Thanks." We nudged each other on the shoulders as we sat before the keyboard. "I'll ask my parents. I'm sure they will be fine with it."

 

—

 

Aiden, Donny, Forrest and I were in the dining hall for dinner. I had never made a meatloaf before, but the meatloaf at Notre Dame didn't measure up to Mom's. I chose the vegetarian pasta instead.

"Do you ever worry about drinking too much Dr Pepper?" Donny asked me.

"Nah. I only have one a day. During classes it is always bottled water. I try to drink a lot of water."

"That's mostly true. Whenever we get fast food, Corey always gets a refill," Aiden said.

"Well, THAT'S just practical spending."

We laughed.

"However, I can confess that coffee is probably more of an issue. Two cups every morning. It's not like caffeine really affects me though. I sleep well. I guess."

"You do," Aiden said. "You never get up."

"How do you know?"

"I'd hear you."

"Oh please. You'd sleep through an earthquake."

"That is not true. I can hear you when you get restless with the covers."

"Boys! Boys! It's not that important," Donny said.

"Those two?" Forrest joked. "They all but complete each other's sentences. I'm sure they know each other better than they do themselves."

"Hmm. Is that so?" Donny inquired. "Should I be jealous?"

"No!" Aiden and I said at the same time.

Talk of classes dominated the conversation for the next few minutes. Aiden said he was looking forward to a break from studying. We were only a week from Spring Break.

"What are you doing Forrest? Going home?" I asked.

"I'mmmm ... not ... sure."

"What?" Aiden asked.

"I. Just. Don't. Want. To."

"Oh," we all said.

"I will be miserable. I think I'd rather just be here alone."

"Your family isn't expecting you?" I asked.

"They know I might come, but I really think they are expecting me to have wild plans with other classmates. My brothers do at least. I think they are picturing me on some beach with scantily clad women."

The rest of us laughed.

"If I go home, I would probably be ribbed ... and to be honest, I don't want to spend time with them."

No one knew what to say. It was quiet. I felt bad for bringing it up.

I saw Donny look at Aiden. Aiden seemed confused. Donny glared at Aiden and nodded his head toward Forrest.

Aiden mouthed, "Are you sure?" Forrest didn't see it, but I did.

Donny nodded.

"Forrest, would you like to come home with me ... or with Donny and me?"

Forrest looked up.

"I wouldn't want to intrude on your family. Besides, Donny is going with you."

"We'd have room in the car, and we have a guest room. I can double-check with my parents, but they were excited that I was bringing Donny, and-"

"Awww," Donny said.

"I think they are excited that I actually have several friends. I was the loner kid in high school. I didn't have many friends. I've sort of ... surprised them since being at school. My mother says I'm `much more mature.' Whatever that means."

I smiled listening to Aiden mimic his mother. But she was right. Aiden had come into his own at college. Sadly, I had not. But at least I loved being at Notre Dame. I felt I belonged.

"Double check," Forrest said. "I'd hate for you to inconvenience your family."

"Okay. I'll do that, but I'm sure it is fine."

"Donny, I wouldn't want to intrude on you two."

"Well, you'll be in the guest room; I'll be in bed with Aiden."

We all laughed. I rolled my eyes. "Good grief."

I really didn't know Forrest well, but as I had gotten to know him better, I could tell when his spirits were lifted. Although he was chewing his food, I could detect a smile.

"I'm bringing Geoff with me. We can get together and do something fun."

"As much fun as you can have in Jackson Bend," Aiden sarcastically said.

 

—

 

We had overslept, by the time Aiden and I got to the showers, there was a line. Aiden finished first. Forrest was shaving at a sink. When Aiden shaved, he did so in our room, but he was still blow-drying his hair. The two of them talked for a couple of minutes. I had turned off the shower and could hear them.

Aiden headed to our room. I could hear someone in the next shower exit as I was reaching for my towel. By the time I had mostly dried off, the guy in the next shower had stepped up to the sink. He had his towel draped over his shoulders. I could see his penis in the mirror's reflection. It wasn't gigantic, but it could easily pass for better than average. Curse him.

"You know, Slater," the person said. "You don't have to be nice to him just so people will get off your back. He's still a fag."

I immediately looked up. Adrenaline was shooting through me. Was I going to have to defend Aiden? Or Forrest? I was tense. I was just about to intervene when Forrest spoke up.

"I'm not nice to him so that people will get off my back, Cy. I'm nice to him because he is my friend."

"The fag? I thought you were grossed out by him."

"I stupidly was judgmental last semester. Aiden is pretty much the nicest person I know. He forgave me, and I am forever grateful."

A few people clapped.

This "Cy" wrapped his towel around his waist. "Whatever. He's still a cocksucker." He then exited the bathroom.

A few people softly spoke kind words to Forrest. I was relieved. Forrest seemed to be making some inroads in changing his reputation. Hopefully word of that conversation would continue to improve the situation.

As I stepped up to the sink to brush my hair, Forrest was wiping the last bit of shaving cream from his face. "Good for you," I said.

His expression said a lot:
I hate myself for ever saying those things to Aiden.
I hate that not only are there people like Cy but that I used to be one of them.
Am I better than I used to be?
Why did Aiden forgive me?
I don't deserve Aiden's friendship.
It doesn't bother me that Aiden is gay. Why did it ever?

"Thanks," he said. "I hate that I used to be like him."

"You aren't anymore. You have friends who know that."

I patted him on the shoulder.

I walked down the hall in my boxers with my toiletries in one hand and a towel over my shoulder. It was a good start to the morning.

 

—

 

A loud knock on my door had me get up from my desk. I opened it to find Geoff.

"Umm. Can I ... can I come in?"

"Uh. Sure."

Geoff was totally scattered. I could see his face was all in shock. He almost seemed to be struggling to breathe.

"Hey. Come here." I held him. He held me tight. "What is it?"

"I just ... I just need ... I don't know." He sat on Aiden's bed and put his face in his hands. I noticed he was speaking in a lower voice.

I got on my knees in front of him. "Hey. Don't scare me. What is it?"

"I just opened our door and ... and ... and ..." Geoff got even quieter. "Ace is screwing a girl in our room."

"Ohhh. Wow," I said in a hushed voice.

"Have you heard them?"

"No. I have the stereo on lightly in the background. I slightly hear music from your room too."

"The door was locked, so I figured he wasn't there. I opened it up and ... oh, Corey. They were both completely naked and..."

"Got it."

"No. I just stared for a few seconds. My mind just processed it. I saw his dick moving in and out of her and..."

"It's okay. You can stay here. Would you like to go somewhere else? I'll go with you."

We both tilted our ears to the wall. Nothing. Then there was a slight grunt.

"Okay," I said. "Let's go to the common area."

We did. I grabbed my tablet.

After we sat down, Geoff was still shaking. I reached for his arm. "It's okay."

"It's not. I'm not, Corey."

"Talk to me."

Geoff looked around to make sure no one was within earshot. "I was only there for a few seconds. As I opened the door, I could clearly see both of them in bed. It took a couple of seconds, but my brain exploded realizing what was in front of me. Ace's ass bobbed up and down. Then I could see his cock going in and out. Hard. His face looked up at me, and he said, `Get out, dude!' I froze for a second. It was just a second, but I was paralyzed."

"Why?"

"I – I – I just wanted to watch. It triggered something in me. But I closed the door. I just stood there, frozen, staring at our door for a second. I pictured his dick. Her pussy. It was like real live porn. I stopped breathing. I would have done anything ... just to watch. That's when I knocked on your door." Geoff looked at me in a panic. "What's wrong with me, Corey? I don't know what's wrong with me?"

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. My laptop was in there. If it weren't, I'd be ... somewhere, anywhere ... watching porn. That whole situation broke me. I want to watch so bad."

I was very scared. I knew I wasn't qualified to help Geoff, but I wasn't going to leave him either.

"Let's put our minds to something else."

"What's wrong with me?" he whimpered.

"Nothing is wrong. You've just been thrown. You're strong. Geoff. Think how long you've made it. My dad is in AA. He has to go through moments like this."

"He still craves alcohol?"

"To be honest, I don't really know, but he still goes to meetings every week, so there has to be a tug there somewhere."

I didn't even know what advice I was giving. I just knew I didn't know what advice to give.

"Tell me your favorite kind of food."

"Huh??"

"Think of something else. Your favorite kind of food."

"M – Mexican."

"Okay, I know a great Mexican place back home. We'll go there on Spring Break. Do you like guacamole?"

"I love it."

"We'll make it fresh at the house."

"Fresh guac? Where?" Emanuel said, walking up.

"I'm going to make some at home on Spring Break."

"Oh."

I tried to convey to Manny with my eyes that Geoff was dealing with something.

"I guess I'll be making a few things on my own."

"Why's that? Are you not going home?" Geoff asked.

Good. He was distracted.

"No. Kind of for two reasons."

Both of us looked at him waiting for more.

"Well ... there's always money. Arizona almost involves a flight. It's two days to drive. That made sense at Christmas when we were off for weeks, but ... it is kind of ... fly or stay here."

"What's the other reason?" Geoff asked.

Manny looked embarrassed. "I don't want Mom to see me."

"Why??!" we both said, astonished.

"You look great," I said.

"She won't think so. She'll think I'm too thin. She'll try hard — so will Abeula Gonzales. They'll just feed me."

"Is everyone in your family ... big?" Geoff awkwardly asked.

"Not the girls. I mean, they aren't skinny by any stretch of the imagination. But, yeah, everyone is ... plump."

"You don't think they will think you look great."

"No. It sounds weird, but they'll worry. I know them. They'll think something is bothering me. I'd – I'd rather them just not see me until summer. By then, hopefully I will have lost another twenty pounds. I want to show up looking really sharp. Maybe if I look like ... normal men, they will approve."

"You are totally normal," I said.

"You know what I mean."

"Come home with me then. With us. Geoff is coming."

"Won't your parents freak out?"

"Why? Because I actually have two friends?"

Geoff laughed. (I was glad.)

"I didn't mean it that way."

"I know. I know. As lame as my parents are, they are very hospitable. I can at least appreciate that about them."

Emanuel looked hesitant.

"Come on, Jicama. Join us," Geoff said.

"Please don't call me that," Manny said in a voice sounding like someone who had just heard a curse cast upon them.

"It will be fun," I said. "Well, we'll make it fun. Jackson Bend isn't a huge party town."

"We'll see." I looked at both of them. "With my dad, you should know we won't be doing any drinking. I should tell you that."

"That's no big deal," Manny said.

"Tell that to half the people on our floor. I've heard stories about people going to places to get drunk."

"It's all talk," Geoff said. "Heck, most of them aren't even old enough to buy it."

"Yet we have it in both our rooms."

"True."

Manny leaned over to hug me. "I'll think about it. Thanks, Corey. I mean that." He continued down the hall.

"I guess I should call my parents," I told Geoff. "But I'm sure they'll be fine."

"We'll have fun."

"Oh. With only two beds ... you might have to share. Or there's the couch."

"No big deal. Heaven knows I thought about snuggling in with you and Aiden after the storm."

"You did?"

"It sounded ... nice. Close. Besides, Ace snores."

As soon as he said that, we both looked at Ace and Beth walk by. Geoff took a deep breath and relived his ordeal.

"Just breathe. That's all over and done."

I opened my tablet. "Look at this. If you will allow it — and it's your song, so just nix it if you want — but I added a verse to `Temptation.' Take a look."

Geoff read my new lyrics. I watched his eyes go back and forth.

"Really. It's your song. I shouldn't have added anything, but I was thinking and-"

"It's good. I like it. It fits."

"You think?"

"Yes, I do. You're really talented, Corey."

"You started the song."

We talked about the new lyrics for almost a minute when Ace walked up. Geoff stiffened.

"I'm sorry," the two of them said.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," Geoff said.

"I know ya didn't. I shoulda let you know we were ... that I was gonna have someone over."

Ace put his hand on Geoff's shoulder. "Come back to the room."

The two of them got up and walked to the stairs. I couldn't imagine what the two of them would say once they had some privacy. I could foresee a deep conversation with me on the drive home for Spring Break.

 

—

 

It was the last Thursday before Spring Break. By 2 o'clock, I wasn't really in the mood for classes. None of my friends were in this class. I had said hello to several people over the past weeks, but I hadn't really connected to them. I knew I needed to pay attention. The instructor didn't ease us into new lessons. We went full speed. I enjoyed the material enough that I was doing well, better than most. Or so I thought.

Two minutes before class started, a girl next to me said, "Hello."

"Hi," I said back. "We won't have to think about all this for a week in about an hour."

"I know. You don't think he will assign us anything over Spring Break, do you?"

"Lord, I hope not."

"I'm Zoey."

"Corey."

As the instructor walked to the head of the classroom, I glanced again at Zoey. She was pretty. Not in a glamourous way but in a real-life way. She had touches of makeup, but nothing about her was super fake. She reminded me of Elise in high school and all the things I liked about her.

I had to admit that during class, I wasn't as focused as I usually was. I found myself looking at Zoey when I thought she wouldn't notice.

When class was over, she turned to me. "It was nice meeting you, Corey. I hope you have a good Spring Break."

"Same here."

It had been a while since I dated Patty. I was over all that. I put myself out there.

"Zoey, I know we are leaving tomorrow, but ... when we get back from Spring Break, would you like to go out sometime? I mean ... if you don't have a boyfriend."

"I'd like that. Thank you." Zoey smiled sincerely. As she started to walk away, she turned back. "You're not seeing Patty anymore?"

"Oh. You know Patty?"

"Yeah. Kind of friends, but we don't live in the same residence hall."

"Ah. No, we broke up in January."

"I see. So, okay. Oh, here's my number." She wrote it down inside my notebook.

When I got back to the room, I took a selfie and texted it to her so that she would have my number. I asked her to sit with me the Tuesday we got back and if she'd be interested in doing something that night.

Two minutes later, I received a reply: "I'd like that."

 

—

 

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" I asked Aiden.

"We were thinking around 3. Forrest and I have a 1 o'clock. Donny only has morning classes M/W/F."

"Manny has a 2. He said he'd skip it, so we don't get home too late. But we can wait. He's giving me his duffle bag at lunch, so all he has to do is get back here. Maybe 3:15."

"Should we leave together? Just in case of car trouble or something?"

"Sounds good."

Neither of us had much homework for Spring Break. Our professors had at least been kind in that regard. I spent most of my evening finishing the one chapter I had to read before classes resume. Just so I would remember it a week later, I scribbled some notes on the main points. Thinking about being away from school was distracting, so I had to go back and read two passages again to maintain my focus.

Aiden was ready for bed. I had a quiz in the morning, so I was going to review just a bit. He had brushed his teeth. After turning off his name art, he said, "Going to bed."

"Okay." I looked up. He was standing in front of me. I knew he expected a hug. I smiled and hugged him.

The light from my lamp was directed more at my desk. There was some light in the room, but not enough that would prevent Aiden from falling asleep, particularly if he turned toward the wall. I watched him wriggle within his sheets and covers. For some reason, I found it amusing. He wrangled with them until they were just right. He made me smile. I wouldn't be rooming with him next week. I would miss the nightly hug.

"Do you think we are making a mistake by taking the guys home with us?" Aiden's voice called out in the darkness.

"Why would you say that?"

Aiden rustled under the covers to where his head poked toward me. "What if they get bored? What should we do?"

"We'll figure it out. We do things here. I think it will just be nice to have them there."

"Rather than just being with my parents? No kidding."

"Do you think Forrest will get in the way of you and Donny ..."

"Being romantic? Well, during the day, we can't do anything now, but we have every night. We can fuck as much as we want."

"Oh jeez."

"What? We haven't had much time at all lately. We've snuck in one blowjob the last two weeks. That's it."

"Thanks for the update," I said flatly.

We were quiet for a minute.

"I have a date when we get back."

Aiden swam through his covers to get his upper body out of them. "What!!? Tell me everything."

"Her name is Zoey. She is in my Stats class. We just started talking today."

"You go, dude!"

"It's just a first date. She seems to be a friend with Patty."

"Oh. Is that bad?"

"She wasn't aware we had broken up, so they must not be super close."

"We'll get you laid yet."

"Honestly, Aiden! Do you have to go straight there? And what do you mean `we'?"

"Nothing. Nothing really."

He got up and walked over to me. I looked at him in confusion. He simply hugged me and kissed me on the top of my head while I was seated at my desk.

"I'm glad."

 

—

 

"So, we will stop around 6. That will break up the drive and we will grab something to eat. Sound good?" I asked.

The six of us were in agreement. We had drinks and snacks in both cars. Manny had a special container in the cooler that had carrot sticks and a honey mustard dip for himself. We said we'd check in on each other every hour.

At 3:22, we pulled out. We let Aiden's parents and my parents know our ETA.

I told the guys they could bring a playlist to put in, but they said they trusted my judgement. I knew Geoff's tastes from when we played and sang together in my room. Manny was content to listen in the back seat, but I heard him sing along lightly to a couple of songs.

It wasn't forty minutes into the drive when I knew this trip was going to be infinitely better than me just driving home alone.

"It looks like we might have a couple of days of rain once we get home, but it shouldn't be cold. One day might hit 60, but it will mostly be in the 50s."

"Fine by me," Geoff said.

"Arizona will be warmer, but I'm completely fine with the 50s," Emanuel said.

"Good. I should let you all know that my parents will smother us, so ... be prepared."

"Smother?" Manny asked.

"They'll be all over us. They will give us their undying attention."

"That's nice," Geoff said.

"At least they all work, so we will have some time to ourselves to breathe."

"When is this wedding that Sam is going to be in?" Geoff asked.

"Tomorrow! He left this morning to be home by tonight. I assume there is a rehearsal or something."

"Can you imagine being married at our age?"

"No way," I said.

"Some of the people in my family got married before they were twenty," Emanuel said from the back seat. "When I was a kid, that seemed normal, but now that I turn twenty in five months, I can't picture it. I can't imagine having a wife."

"Or a kid!" Geoff said. He turned to Emanuel in the back seat. "You said, `When I was a kid.' When did you stop thinking of yourself as a kid?"

"This year. Calling myself a man seems odd, but ... I feel older in college. When I am around my mother and father, however, I will always feel like I'm nine."

"I feel the same," I said. "Or at least I think that is how they see me." After a moment's thought, I added, "That may not be fair. I might be projecting that onto them. They have always thought of me as mature. But I seem to think that THEY think I'm a kid. Maybe I'm wrong."

"At least they sound like they enjoy you being at home."

"Oh lord. Totally. But ... they're great. I'm lucky, I guess. Sounds like Forrest isn't happy at home."

"Not now, at least," Geoff said. "It must be rough to not like your family."

"Aiden is too harsh on his parents, but ... that relationship has improved. I'm happy about that."

"Can I tell you something about Slater ... Forrest?" Many said.

"What?" we both said.

"He took me out to buy some more new clothes Wednesday night."

"Seriously?" I said.

"Yeah. He said he would like to help out. It's kind of weirding me out that he's being so nice."

"He really is trying to change," I said with sincerity. "You know, I didn't really want to forgive him ... or like him ... or be around him ... at first. But I think he's trying."

"Totally," Manny said. "He was just as mean to me as he was Aiden that time in the shower room last fall. It's almost Jeckell and Hyde."

"It can't be a good feeling to think everyone at school hates you," Geoff said. "And then to not want to go home either ... that's rough."

"I think we need to keep an eye on him. He seems like someone who..."

"Are you saying what I think you are?" Manny asked.

"I don't know. Really, I don't. But all of us can see he's struggling."

"Pfff! Who among us isn't," Geoff blurted. "Heaven knows I am."

"At least the envelope is up to $200. You've been strong."

"Sorry, guys. I have no idea what you're talking about," Emanuel said from the back.

"Ah. You aren't fully in the know of how screwed up I am."

"You're not-"

"Yes, I am, Corey."

Geoff took a few minutes to explain his issues to Emanuel. Manny listened without judgement. I was impressed that Geoff felt confident to mention that the obsession with sex wasn't limited to women.

"Now do you think I'm weird?" Geoff asked.

"No. I think you're a person. I'm sure there isn't a college student at Notre Dame that isn't wrestling with something. We're all human. Well, Ace is very confident."

"Actually — and I'm not sure if it is right for me to say this — but he tells us he sometimes has to put on a brave face at the games. He was hoping to make the team but didn't. I think he buries a lot."

"Hunh. Who knew."

"So how did it go with you the other day? You know, when you ..." I started.

"When I walked in on him screwing that girl?"

"Beth."

"No way," Manny said from the back. "Man, you guys don't tell me anything."

Geoff chuckled. "Well, none of it is flattering, Manny. Ace had a girl over but didn't tell me. I walked in on them and — yep, buck naked. His dick was deep in her."

"Swell," I mumbled at Geoff's storytelling.

"So anyway, we both apologized. He hadn't told me about her because ... he didn't want me to ... I don't know ... want to go out and get it. He knew I was trying to be strong."

"Oh," Manny uttered.

"But he didn't need to hide it. I know people are having sex."

"I'm not," both Emanuel and I said at the same time.

"The problem was it shook me. I wanted to watch. And that sounds weird. Because it is. I could have sat on my bed and watched Ace screw the living daylights out of that girl."

"Beth."

"Had Corey not rescued me, I would have been back to square one on my laptop. It's funny, Ace felt all sorts of bad, but he didn't do anything wrong. It was just ... bad timing. But he shouldn't feel he has to hide it from me."

"So ... if you watch ... both kinds ... how do you identify?" Emanuel carefully asked.

"That's a good freakin' question," Geoff replied.

"They say that no one is absolutely gay or straight, that we are all somewhere in the middle."

"I don't know. Ace is as straight as they come," Geoff said.

"'They say' ... Who's they?" I asked.

"People. News. Scientists. Psychologists. I don't know."

"I'd heard that too, somewhere," Geoff said.

"If 1 was totally straight and 10 was completely gay, where would you put yourself?" Manny posed.

"Wow. That's tough, Manny." Geoff was quiet. I got the impression he was contemplating it. "I'd like to think that I'm attracted to women, but ... I liked watching Sam that time ... and well, all porn gets me off. Maybe a 4. I'm attracted to women, but any sex gets me horny."

"What about you, Corey?"

"That's somewhat hard. I have a gay roommate and a gay dad and lots of adult gay friends. That has to account for something I suppose. I'm attracted to girls. But at the same time, I don't mind showing affection to guys. It doesn't bother me in the slightest to hug you all. I can tell you I love you without it bothering me. I guess I'm a 2 or 3. But, yeah, straight."

"Hm. I'd have to give myself a 2, I guess. Not that I have anything against gay people. Obviously. Aiden. Plus, he wasn't my first gay friend. Someone in high school confided in me. I thought it sad that he had to hide it from the rest of the world."

"You love people so easily, Corey," Geoff said, turned toward me.

"What do you mean by that?"

"The fact that you can just say that ... that isn't easy."

"You can't?"

"I don't know. I don't think in those terms, I guess."

"Well, ... I know. You all mean the world to me. Growing up, I didn't have any brothers. Living with all of you has been ... different. In a totally great way."

"Sharing a room with Aiden hasn't been a change?"

"Not a difficult one. But we knew each other before. I'm really happy at Dunne. Really. I love you guys."

"Hm."

Geoff was quiet. Emanuel was too.

"Have either of you told someone you loved them?" I eventually asked.

"Does family count?"

"No."

They were both quiet again.

"That's hard," Emanuel said.

"That's okay. I love you even if you don't love me," I said with an emphasized hint of sarcasm.

"That's not fair!"

I howled putting them on the spot.

The phone rang through Bluetooth. I'm sure they were relieved to escape the conversation.

"How's it going over there?" I answered.

"Aiden farted! We have all the windows down!" Donny announced.

"Well, gee. Thanks for the breaking news," I said.

"More like the breaking wind!" Forrest laughed from the back seat of Aiden's car.

"He dug into the peanuts fifteen minutes into the drive. Now he's a gaseous storm," Donny said.

"It's not that bad," Aiden said.

"Even you wanted the windows down," Forrest said.

Our adult conversation stopped. We were kids again.

Later, as we pulled over for dinner, Aiden came up to me. "Forrest and Donny are really getting along."

"That's good. It's so much easier to make the drive when you aren't by yourself, isn't it."

"Ohhhhh, totally. We had a good time."

"Until you gassed things up."

"Oh whatever. Fuck that."

"I thank you for not doing it in our college room."

An hour after Kentucky Fried Chicken, we pulled over to pee and fill up the cars. It looked like we would get home just before 10. We made sure to let our folks know.

Our group hadn't made any concrete plans, but we were confident we would get together throughout the week.

Before I could even touch the doorknob, Mom opened it. Daryl was standing next to her.

"Welcome hoooooome," she said, embracing me in a strong hug. I gave a quicker hug to Daryl.

"Hello, boys. Welcome to our home," Daryl said, motioning us all in.

I introduced everyone.

"Do you all need anything? Are you hungry?"

My friends waved the moment of hospitality off, not wanting to impose.

"Do we have ice cream?" I asked.

"Two kinds," Mom said.

"Good. I've been deprived at school."

"Hm. Call me skeptical," she teased, looking at Manny and Geoff.

Ten minutes later, four of us had a bowl of ice cream in front of us. Manny opted for just a cup of hot tea.

"I'm sure you all are tired," Mom said. "I plan on having a big breakfast in the morning, but I'll let you all sleep in."

"Okay," we all said.

We walked down the hall. I pointed out the guest room. I told them if they didn't want to share a bed, we could get extra bedding from the hall closet for the couch.

Emanuel and Geoff looked at each other. No words were said.

"I'll take the couch. No problem," offered Geoff.

We all took turns in the bathroom and then called it a night in our places.

Before I turned out the light, I stared at my bedroom ceiling. It had now become odd to not see Aiden across the room. I wondered how things were going over there.

I texted: "Are you all settled in?"

A fast reply: "Donny is the last one in the bathroom. I'm glad he drove the last leg. I'm exhausted. I'm too tired to have sex."

"You poor thing."

"Have a good night."

"Texted hug."

There was a familiarity and comfort to my room, but I had a room also at Dad's place. Oddly, I wanted "our" room. There was no Aiden's name art, no "Journey," no picture of my friends on the Vegas trip. No nightlight.

Just me.

 

—

 

I heard someone in the bathroom. Who was up first? I lumbered down the hall to see the sheets and blanket folded neatly adjacent to the couch. Geoff was up.

"Good morning, Mom," I said, ducking my head into the kitchen.

"Hi, sweetie. Did you sleep okay?"

"Very much so. Um ... is it okay to do laundry today?"

"Want me to do it?"

"You don't have to, Mom. I didn't mean that."

"I don't mind."

"Well, if you insist. Please know I appreciate you doing it. Having to do it on my own now, I never really put together all the things you did as I grew up." I walked up to her and kissed her cheek. "Thank you."

She gushed.

"Daryl ran up to the office for a couple hours, but he should be back in about 40 minutes. Think your friends will mind waiting on breakfast?"

"I'm sure that's fine. It will give us time to shower."

I walked back to my room to see Geoff in there.

"Hope you don't mind me getting dressed in here."

"No problem."

He had underwear on already, but he dug through his bag for other clothes.

"Dang. How did I not pack socks?"

"You can wear mine. That dresser, top drawer."

"Thanks. I do have some dirty ones. I brought some clothes I was hoping to wash while here. I have a few days of clean clothes, but I was hoping to get that accomplished."

"I'm sure it will be fine, whether here or my dad's place."

We heard Manny go into the bathroom.

"Was the couch okay?"

"Oh yeah. It was fine. No prob."

"Think you'll hear from Ace this week?"

"Don't care."

Oooo. That was blunt. That cut was apparently deeper than I thought. Geoff was still pissed Ace went to Chicago without him. I did wonder if Ace would contact him though.

By the time I was showered and ready, Geoff and Manny had been in the kitchen. Mom didn't drink coffee, but she made some for Daryl, and the boys each had a mug.

"Your mom is so nice," Geoff said.

"It's all an act," I said sarcastically.

"Corey Snow!" Mom said in mock offense.

"You know I love you, Mom."

My mother had fresh fruit and some sausage patties in the center of the table. She had started pouring pancakes in a skillet on the stove. Syrup and butter were already in place on the table.

Daryl walked in from the garage. "Good morning. I apologize for briefly having to duck out to the office."

"Good morning, Daryl," I said.

"Good morning, Mr. ..." Emanuel stopped, realizing he didn't know Daryl's last name.

"Perkes, but you can call me Daryl."

"Yes, sir," Manny responded.

Mom handed the first plate of pancakes to Manny. I tried not to look like I was watching, but I was. Manny lightly buttered the stack and did not drown them in syrup. For some reason, Mom had a "Lite" syrup on the table, so he opted for that. He added a few strawberries on top and some banana slices. He didn't get any sausage. He was eating, but I could tell he was being conscientious about what he ate.

"Manny has been pretty awesome since the beginning of the year. He has ..." I stopped. I wished I had never started this topic in conversation. I didn't know how to proceed without saying he lost weight, implying he used to be more overweight. I was trapped. "He has, um, worked hard at meeting his goals."

Gah! That sounded lame.

"Oh?" Daryl said, showing mild interest.

"What Corey is struggling not to say is that I have lost weight. I accepted that I was fat-"

"Oh, I don't like that word," Mom said.

"Understood, but I was ... well, overweight. I still am, obviously, but I've lost just over 20 pounds."

"Since the beginning of the year? That's impressive. Good for you. Don't go too fast now. You're still getting the nutrition you need, aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm just being mindful of what I eat."

"I remember after Corey was born, I had a dickens of a time getting the weight off."

"Great. Something else to feel guilty about."

"Oh, you!" She whopped me with a hot pad. "You're being so ornery this morning."

My friends smiled at the two of us.

It took about ten minutes, but we all had pancakes in front of us. My college friends were very complimentary of Mom and her efforts. She beamed at the attention.

"I'm so glad you boys came with Corey. It's nice to have you here."

"Thank you for being so welcoming," Geoff said.

With them working during the week, I tried not to run off from Mom during the day. We committed time to spend with them. She did my laundry. Manny had brought some, and she even did that. Geoff was going to hold off until we got to Dad's house. For the most part, Mom didn't embarrass me at all. I was relieved with that.

Until she showed them the wedding quilt. Then I wanted to die.

I took a moment to tell her about the breakup with Patty. I made sure she understood why. She felt it was the right move for me, all things considered. She knew it hurt and said she was sorry I had to go through it.

I didn't miss Patty that much. I missed dating girls, but her outlook was a force field I wouldn't be able to break through.

We just had sandwiches for lunch, but Mom told us we'd have a big dinner.

We played cards and Balderdash for a few hours. It was a fun, lazy afternoon. A pop-op shower made it make even more sense to stay inside. Before dinner, Emanuel said he'd like to get a little homework done, so he wouldn't have to worry about it all week. Mom began dinner. Geoff and I dabbled a little with song lyrics, even if I hadn't brought the keyboard home.

"How often do you write songs?" Geoff asked.

"Hm. I'm not sure. It comes and goes. Sometimes things inspire me."

"Like what?"

"Well, Aiden does a lot."

"Why him?"

"He amazed me at Christmas. I wrote a song, `Pillar of Strength.' He stood up to his relatives. He held his ground."

"He never told me that. Was it bad?"

"I don't think so. There wasn't major drama, but ... it sounds like a few of his relatives didn't approve of him being..."

"Gay. He came out to them," Geoff figured out.

"Right."

"Good for him. I can't imagine telling my parents that I'm ... whatever I am."

"Do you feel the need to?"

"I guess not. I don't have to tell them everything. Every person has the right to have some things be kept private, right?"

"Exactly."

I felt Geoff was getting better. I thought he was strong. If I were in his shoes, I couldn't tell Mom or Dad that I was obsessed with porn. I'd die. Laramie would understand. I could talk to Mitchell too. Emory would be too old, but he'd be a good listener.

"If I showed you something, could you keep it a secret?" I asked.

"Of course."

"Are you sure??"

Geoff sighed. "I know Ace and I sort of spread the news that Aiden was gay way back when, but I learned my lesson."

I reached for my tablet.

"I can't play them for you here, but ... here are two songs I wrote in the past month.

The first one was called "I'm Sorry You're Not It." The second one was "Out of the Cold."

Geoff spent a few minutes reading them at the foot of my bed. I leaned back onto my pillow as he studied them. I smiled noticing that Geoff's lips moved while he read. I had never noticed that before, not that I saw him read that often.

"I take it this first one is about Patty?"

"Yeah. What do you think?"

"I think the words are good. I just don't like the title."

"That's a line from the chorus though."

"I know, but it sounds like a game of tag. I can't see a DJ saying it on the radio."

"Hm. Fair enough. Do you have any suggestions?"

Geoff studied the lyrics again. "How about this word from verse two: `Disillusion'?"

"I actually like that. It's much better. Thanks."

"This other one is really nice, but I don't know what it's about."

"Well ... if you're keeping all this a secret. Remember the night that you opened up to us and we all had our confessions of something we were embarrassed about or held inside?"

"Gawd, I was so embarrassed. I looked so pathetic."

"No, you didn't. You looked brave and honest."

"Whatever."

"Anyway, Aiden told me he felt he was taking advantage of me."

"How?"

"I don't know. We're close. We show affection to each other. But he felt it wasn't right for him to expect that from me ... me being straight. So, we cut off all affection. We used to hug before going to bed and-"

"Look at you two. Adorable. And you think you're a 2 on the scale."

"Stop." I glared at him. "But ... I missed it. We weren't the way we used to be. It ... affected me. Even though we were in the same room, I felt lonely. I can't explain it."

"Your lyrics kind of do."

"Yeah, so anyway ... during the power outage, he was cold, and we just held each other to be warm. It brought us back to being what we were."

"Which is ...?"

"Best friends, but ... really best friends."

"He loves you. You know that."

"And I love him. We keep it on a friendship level. I knew he was in love with me in high school, but-"

"And he probably will be until he dies," Geoff said point blank.

"No. We talk about this. He knows we can't be a couple and accepts that ... but I like who we are. We're close. And that came back that night."

Geoff picked up the tablet to read the lyrics again.

"Has he seen this?"

"No. He felt he took advantage of me, but it's me who needs the affection from him, but ... we still have to be at arm's length. I sometimes question what kind of a best friend I really am."

"One who loves him honestly. And one whom he loves. We can all see it."

"Probably. I'm sure everyone thinks we're making out."

"I wouldn't say that. Don't get your panties in a twist over that. It's all positive. You guys have something special. None of us have that, so ... it stands out."

"Could you tell Ace you loved him?"

"Not right now! Maybe Manny or Sam."

"Please don't be mad at him. I'm sure he wishes you could be there in Chicago with him."

"Who cares?"

The answer to that was Geoff did. Geoff wanted what Aiden and I had. He and Ace were friends but not best friends.

"Boys! Dinner!"

Mom outdid herself. We all loved it. We were fine with college food, but a homecooked meal was a blessing, which we had come to learn after being away.

The plan was to go bowling that evening. We didn't have dessert. We'd have ice cream when we got back.

"How's it going over there?" I texted.

"Good," Aiden texted back. "My parents are actual human beings instead of androids." I smiled. "They like Donny."

"We're going bowling."

"Cool. Have fun."

No mention of Forrest. Hopefully he was enjoying himself.

The five of us had a great time. We bowled two games. Daryl won easily. I comfortably came in third with Mom in fourth and Manny last on the first game. I beat Geoff in the second game, but Daryl was still very much ahead of all of us.

"I know I totally sucked at that, but I had fun," Manny said in the car.

I had taken a few pictures. I texted some to Aiden. I sent one of all five of us to Dad and Laramie.

We dipped cookies and cream when we got back.

"You could at least have a bowl on Spring Break," Geoff told Emanuel.

"Thanks, but I'm fine."

"You're so impressive, dude."

"Well, when you see progress when you step on the scale, success can be pretty motivating."

"Just so you guys know, I'll be going to church with Mom and Daryl in the morning. I feel I should when I'm here. You don't have to go though."

"I kind of would feel odd being in the house with you all not being here. I'll go," Emanuel said.

"Me too," added Geoff.

 

—

 

Sunday.

Mom was preparing lunch. The guys and I were changing into T-shirts. We heard a text come in on our three phones.

"It's a group text from Sam," Geoff said.

There was no message. It was just an assortment of pictures from the wedding he was in.

"Sam looks pretty sharp in the tux," I said.

"Better than the bridesmaids. Those dresses are hideous," Emanuel stated.

"You look hot," Aiden texted to Sam (and the group).

"Sharp," I texted.

"Hot damn! You look great. I can tell the bride is expecting though," Ace texted.

"Hope you enjoyed being a part of it," Manny texted.

"Enjoy the rest of the week," Geoff texted. He then inserted a thumbs up emoji.

We looked at the pictures some more.

"Boy, the groom sure looks young to be a dad," Geoff said.

"We'll, he's not yet. He has a few months still," I noted.

"To worry about it even more," Manny said.

"Thanks for going to church with us," I said. "I know that isn't something fun for Spring Break."

"It was my first time in a Baptist church," Emanuel said.

"It probably came off as kind of boring."

"I wouldn't say that," said Geoff. "More like ... plain. There was no swinging smoke or priests marching around or bells ringing."

"That's incense, not smoke," Emanuel clarified. "But ... yeah, mass is pretty ceremonial."

"And the same week after week," Geoff moaned. "Do you go every Sunday, Manny?"

"Do I sound like a dork if I say `yes'?"

"Of course not," I said. "A lot of people find strength and comfort in their faith."

"I thought the song service this morning was nice," Manny said.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I think our church has a nice music director. When I was a sophomore in high school, I spent a weekend with a friend in Choir. Their church has no organ, and they sang a cappella in four-part harmony. It was beautiful."

A text came in, again to all of us.

"Sears Tower!" It was from Ace. It was a selfie from Chicago.

"Always wanted to go there," replied Sam.

"Have fun," I texted.

"Your head is always in the clouds," texted Aiden.

Manny sent a thumbs up.

Geoff didn't acknowledge it.

 

—

 

Monday. Mom and Daryl were at work. The three of us slept in. I could hear it raining outside, so any thoughts of doing something outdoors went out the window.

I meandered down the hall. Geoff was still asleep. It was shortly after 9, but it still sounded quiet in the guest room. Manny could have chosen to keep sleeping. I heard them both go to the bathroom around 7. I had jacked off before falling asleep, but since I had this privacy, I decided to do it again. It seemed shameful to think of Zoey as I did it. We hadn't even gone out on one date yet. I couldn't let my mind think of us naked — that seemed way too wrong at this point. But kissing seemed harmless enough.

As I was wiping cum off my chest, I heard the shower start. One of them was up.

I showered second. By the time I nudged Geoff on the couch to wake up, it was close to 10. We decided to skip breakfast. Aiden had texted, and the six of us were going to eat an early lunch.

"Well, this weather kind of sucks," Aiden said before dangling a curly fry above his mouth.

"It's not that bad," I said. "At least it isn't a cold rain."

"True. It doesn't feel like winter."

Arby's isn't the easiest place to eat healthy, but Emanuel had no fries. He ordered a salad, which actually looked pretty good. He saw me looking at him. I didn't say anything, but I hoped my smile indicated I was proud of him. As we walked back to the cars, I put my arm around him. I had good friends.

The afternoon was noneventful. We sat around Aiden's house watching, of all things, cartoons.

A text came in from Ace. It was a picture of him on the Navy Pier shivering. "It's windy here."

"So they say," I texted.

Sam sent a laughing emoji.

"I'm so over the cold. It's raining here, but it isn't a cold rain," Aiden texted.

"I didn't pack enough warm stuff," Ace answered.

"Surely they sell sweatshirts and umbrellas in Chicago," Emanuel texted.

Geoff didn't text anything.

 

—

 

Tuesday. I was woken up by a text from Dad. "Lance and Jakob heard you were in town. They want to come down tomorrow night."

"Awesome."

"Is it okay if they stay in the guest room? It will be tight for one night."

"We'll be fine."

I was up first and was playing host for the day.

By 9:15, I was putting muffin batter in the oven. Emanuel strolled into the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee. I liked mine black, but Mom had a flavored creamer. He just opted for milk. No sugar.

I went to the living room to let Geoff know the bathroom was free. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. As he stood, his morning wood was so obvious in his underwear. My friends had an abundance of privacy here. I assumed they had been taking care of themselves just as I had.

As I popped the muffins out of the pan, Manny said, "You made these yourself?"

"Yeah. Well, it's a mix, so I didn't do a lot. I just added an egg and stirred in water."

"They smell good."

Geoff eventually emerged all fresh and clean. We ate scrambled eggs, muffins and yogurt. It was a light breakfast, but I was fixing lunch for everybody.

To do so, we had to head to the grocery store. Daryl was kind enough to give me his credit card. I had to buy for both lunch and dinner. Dinner was Mexican, but I needed something I could make for all of us. Plus, I wanted to be mindful of Manny's goals. Mexican food would be heavy enough later on.

The guys arrived at 11. A question of whether everyone liked seafood was posed. Five of the six did. Forrest waved his hand in a "so-so" motion.

"But I'll try it," he said.

We went to the store and picked up some tilapia fillets. I knew it was a milder fish.

As I started preparing, Aiden hopped up to make a salad.

"Can I help?" asked Forrest.

"Me too," said Manny.

Within minutes, everyone was involved. Donny was setting the table. Manny was slicing carrots and tomatoes for Aiden. Forrest read the directions for the couscous on the box. I tended to the oven, which involved the tilapia and the bread.

"This is like being on that show Master Chef," Geoff said.

"My mom used to watch that show," Donny smiled.

"Never saw it," said Forrest.

"Me neither," chimed in Aiden.

After Forrest had the couscous going, I asked him to open a couple of cans of green beans. Everyone liked those. I didn't try to make anything overly fancy, but I felt Manny would enjoy everything fairly guilt-free.

A few of them watched me brush olive oil on the fish and spoon diced tomatoes over them. Then I topped it with oregano and breadcrumbs.

At 1 o'clock, we sat down.

"Is it dumb to say I enjoyed that?" Geoff asked.

"Of course not," I replied. "I'm glad."

"We should do that more often. Instead of you and Aiden doing all the dinners, we should all do more. More than just give you money, at least."

"Perhaps. But I do enjoy fixing dinner for everyone. I do it for my parents too. I am tonight."

"Mexican!" cheered Geoff.

As my friends gave me compliments, I pointed out my tips of stirring just a little beef broth into the green beans, mixing honey into some butter to make it sweet, and adding lemon and basil to the couscous. Their kind words meant a lot.

"What do you think of the fish?" I asked Forrest.

"It's okay."

"I'm sorry."

"No. It's okay. I wouldn't necessarily order it in a restaurant, but it's fine. It isn't fishy."

As he was next to me, I rubbed his shoulder. He smiled at my attention.

The guys pitched in to clean up when we were done. We didn't prepare dessert, but I noted we still had ice cream. Everyone said they were full.

Sam texted us a pic of him curled up on the couch. "Miss you guys."

"Wish you were here," Aiden texted.

I texted an emoji hug; Geoff followed with a thumbs up.

Ace texted, "Sorry you are alone, man."

Ace sent a picture of him and his jock buddies on the El.

Sam texted, "Have fun."

I texted, "Stay out of trouble."

Ace replied, "What fun is that?"

Manny and Aiden texted emojis.

Geoff didn't acknowledge the text.

Although the ground was still fairly wet from the rain the day before, Manny suggested a walk. I knew the exercise would be beneficial. We all could use it after just sitting around yesterday.

It was sunny, but a light jacket was still called for. The neighborhood was dull, so Aiden and I drove them into town, and we walked around the courthouse and a nearby park.

Donny took Aiden's hand. I noticed Forrest looking at the two of them hold hands, but his expression didn't convey anything.

Forrest was somewhat of an enigma. He was appalled at Aiden being gay last semester, but now he is good friends with him. He had seen Aiden and Donny kiss and hold hands yet never commented.

Manny led the walk, which was nice. Although he was the heaviest, he stayed in the lead. We were by no means in a clustered group.

I touched Forrest's arm, indicating for him to hold back a few steps.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Me? Sure."

"Remember when you yelled at Aiden in the shower room last fall?"

Forrest groaned and let out the longest sigh I had ever heard. "Yeeaaahhh. I'm an ass."

"That's not why I am bringing this up. You kind of used slurs, and I had always assumed you were put off by ... gay people. How do you feel now?"

"Turmoil."

"Whoa! That wasn't the answer I was expecting."

"Right. I think ... I think Aiden is pretty terrific."

"Me too."

"The way he forgave me ... how nice he is ... letting me be his friend — I've never met a person like that. But then again, I grew up surrounding myself with jerks and assholes."

"Why the turmoil?"

"I think Aiden and Donny are sweet together. Sadly, whenever they touch or kiss or whatever, my initial reaction is `That's so gay,'" he said, waving his arms. "I can't say I'm grossed out or anything. I see them for who they are. They are so nice. I like them together, but my gut reaction when I see that type of affection is the `fag!' default. For years, I had built all this shit up inside me how gays were disgusting and gross and ... and now all that isn't how I feel anymore. But, Corey ... fuck. I think it is so instilled in me, I'm not sure I'll ever change."

"You have changed. Aiden is a close friend. Clearly your mind is sorting through all that. Give it time. When my parents divorced, Mom could hardly even look at Dad. Now they are super close again."

"That must have been a really weird time for you. I imagine it was hard."

"It was. I hated seeing my parents torn apart. Neither was happy. Dad had taken up drinking ... which became heavy drinking. Finding out he was gay didn't ... shock me. I wasn't turned off by it. In fact, it simplified things."

"Simplified!!?"

"When things were bad between them, I could tell. As a kid, you wonder if you did something wrong. Or you wonder what you can do to fix it. When Dad sat me down to explain everything, it all made sense. It was a lot to process when you are 11 or 12, but I knew what being gay meant. Dad explained everything very clearly, asked if I had questions and all that, but ... I guess I finally put everything together. There was some comfort in being able to understand everything instead of being confused."

"Wow. I just can't imagine."

"I'm just glad that over time, things between them were repaired. Dad's husband loves Mom. We are one big family, just divided between two houses."

"That's so different from me. My father is a bigot and homophobe. Mom still goes to church. I sometimes wonder how they ever got together. But they don't argue. I don't see them being affectionate that much, but they seem to ... exist ... I suppose."

"Well, when you meet my fathers tomorrow, prepare for the affection overload."

He chuckled. "It sounds nice."

I put my arm around Forrest. He returned the gesture.

Before getting in the cars, I saw Emanuel talking to Forrest about his pants. I couldn't hear, but I assumed it was a new pair that Forrest helped buy. They both smiled at each other. It was good to see.

Back home, I began focusing on dinner. Manny helped scoop the avocados out of their skins. I chopped up the tomatoes and onions for the guac. I ground fresh pepper and salt into the bowl. I rolled a lime to Geoff and asked him to cut it in half while I pulled off some fresh cilantro.

"I've never actually seen anyone make guacamole in front of me," said Geoff.

"This is looking good," Manny said. "I like that you are dicing up garlic and jalapeno. Nice."

Once done, Geoff scooped a chip into it.

"Yum. Awesome, dude."

"Good. Now leave it alone. It's going in the fridge until dinner."

While I started cutting chicken for fajitas, I heard Geoff call out from the living room. "It's kind of strange to see this many CDs," he said.

"Yeah. Mom still plays them."

"Do they even make CD players anymore?"

"I'm not sure. Probably. I can't imagine they sell a lot."

Emanuel went to the guest room for a nap.

Just as I added some seasoned marinade to the chicken, Dad called.

"Hi, son. As you know, Lance and Jakob are coming down from Von tomorrow."

"I'm going to be very happy to see them."

"Yeah. Lance has a request."

"Okay."

"He'd like it if you and your friends would come to the AA meeting before we have dinner."

"Uhhh. What?"

"He'd like you to be there."

"Why all of us? That's kind of weird."

"I'm not exactly sure."

"I'll ask, but I'm not sure-"

"If they aren't up for it, there is no pressure. We're taking you guys out afterward regardless. Late-night pizza. Well, late-night for college kids and us is probably different. Eight o'clock pizza.

"I'll talk with them."

Speaking of pizza, Ace texted a picture of him behind a very deep dish of pizza. Everyone replied on how delicious it looked. Except for Geoff. Geoff didn't acknowledge it.

Dinner was great. Everyone enjoyed the Mexican cuisine.

It was my last night with Mom. We played a game of cards and then all of us watched a movie. Manny allowed himself a small bowl of popcorn.

I had masturbated four nights in a row. I needed a new cum towel.

 

—

 

Wednesday.

"An AA meeting?? That's ... different," Donny said.

"Yeah," Forrest echoed.

"You aren't required to go or anything, but I'd like you to meet Jakob and Lance."

"Lance is soooooooo hot," Aiden whispered to Donny, although all of us heard it.

"What would we do?" Forrest asked.

"Nothing. You just sit and listen. I've been to a couple with Dad. They can sometimes be kind of moving. But you don't have to do anything. Some are called closed meetings, and those are when only AA members attend. Open meetings let friends and family come. The open meeting is earlier at 6:30 tonight. We're going out for pizza afterward. All of us."

"How long is it?" Geoff asked.

"Maybe an hour. It varies. They aren't really long."

My friends' expressions were ones of total bewilderment.

"Really. You don't have to."

"We'll go," Manny said. "It's different, but ... why not?"

All of us took our trays to the trash, throwing our Wendy's wrappers in the bins.

"What now?" Aiden asked, as we gathered at the cars.

"It's nice out," Geoff said. "We could go to a park and throw a football around."

We all looked at him.

"I'm gay," Aiden said. "Like I own a football."

"Dad is gay," I said. "We didn't throw a football around growing up."

"C'mon guys!" Donny admonished. "Could you be ANY more stereotypical??"

Aiden looked at his boyfriend. "Okay, do YOU own one?"

Donny was blank. "Okay, fine. Never mind."

"I brought my frisbee," Forrest softly said.

"Good," interjected Manny. "We can walk off lunch and whoever wants to toss around the frisbee can do so."

Exercise outdoors was then the agenda.

When grabbing Forrest's frisbee from Aiden's house, my roommate packed a cooler with bottled water and sodas.

Near the park was a Target. Aiden purchased a second frisbee. I didn't have much experience with a frisbee, so I was sure to look like a dweeb.

After walking and playing for an hour in the bright sunshine, we admitted it was a good way to simply relax during Spring Break. It wasn't quite 60, but there wasn't much of a chill. Light jackets were shed as we sat down to enjoy a cold drink.

"I haven't thought about school at all in the last few days," Geoff said. "It's been nice."

"Because you all are here. If it were just me, I'd be missing you all," I said.

"Aw," a few said.

"Of course, you'd have ME," Aiden smiled.

"Yes, I would. We'd be inseparable."

"It is nice to not have to trek down the hall to go to the bathroom. Particularly when the shower room is crowded," Aiden said.

"Do you guys know who Earl is?" Forrest asked.

"Earl the Exhibitionist?" Emanuel asked.

"You know who he is??" I inquired, astonished.

"Word gets around."

"Soooo ... who is this Earl?" Donny asked, feeling left out.

"A guy on our floor at Dunne. He apparently thinks he is the Big Dick on Campus and makes no effort to conceal anything. I've still never seen it. Corey says it looks like an anteater."

Everyone laughed.

"I see where he is coming from," Forrest said. "Even when I was a complete asshole, I wasn't about to say anything to him. Who wants to go up against that."

"As much as I would love a bigger dick, I wouldn't want his. It's ... sort of bizarre to me."

"This is a very strange subject," Donny said. "And I'm one of the gay guys here."

"True. I brought him up because I heard him say to his roommate — not that I was eavesdropping — that he might have to drop out. I don't think he's doing well this semester."

"I have a couple of classes that seem pretty hard this go round," Aiden said, gloomily.

"You'll be fine. You're a star. I've seen you trying hard. You'll make it."

"I imagine. But my GPA will go down most likely." He sighed. "I just don't want my father to be disappointed."

That was so different than Aiden was last year. Clearly, he felt a connection to his parents after being away that he didn't feel in high school. Overall, I felt it was a good thing. I was glad he was closer. But disappointing your parents is a nagging feeling that stays in your gut.

"My parents didn't even say anything about my grades," Forrest mumbled.

"Were they good first semester?"

"Yeah. All I did was study it seemed. When you don't have friends, you find a lot of empty time to fill."

"That was then," Aiden quickly snapped. "You're in a circle of friends right now."

Donny pounced on Forrest. "Exactly!" The two of them rolled in the grass, which was thankfully dry following the rain a couple of days ago. We laughed at the two of them. The smile on Forrest's face was probably the most heartwarming thing I'd seen all week.

"Stop! Stop!" he yelped. And laughed.

We put our bottles in the bag to recycle. Then it was time for more frisbee. We didn't say much for a while. We just spread out tossing the discs.

"Nice catch."
"Good throw."
"Lame!!"
"You're getting it."
"I was way off."
"Perfect."
"So close."

 

—

 

Mom's hug was big. "That went by so fast," she weeped.

"I know. It was good to see you and Daryl."

"I'll see you Sunday before you go. Your father has made a reservation for twelve people at Basil and Chianti. Aiden's parents are joining us too."

"Awesome."

Once in the car, Geoff's and Emanuel's body language seemed stiff. They were unsure about the AA meeting.

"Guys, you aren't being sent to the principal's office."

"I just don't know what to expect," Geoff said.

"Relax. It will be fine, and you will be with your group of friends."

Emanuel didn't look any more relaxed than Geoff.

We arrived at the Community Center first. Aiden's car and Dad's car pulled in at the same time.

Dad couldn't wait to get his arms around me. "Ahhhhh, it feels so good to hug you!"

"And there's the mushy father I know and love."

"You know it."

Laramie's embrace was even tighter. It ended with a huge smooch on my cheek. My friends gawked and smiled, seeing me accept the affection.

I introduced the whole group to Dad and Larmie. The sun was setting, but it still wasn't chilly. We remained outside.

Aiden smiled watching Donny stare at my father. I guess Dad could be considered good looking, but to me, he was Dad. I always thought he lucked out finding Laramie though. Laramie had on a cowboy hat, a suede vest and bolo tie. I thought it was sharp, not that I could ever pull off such a look.

"Told ya," Aiden said to Donny, as he continued to gawk at my fathers.

I saw a car pull in. I could see Jakob through the window.

"They're here!" Aiden exclaimed as he saw them walking up. He ran to meet them and hugged Lance in a vigorous way, which surprised me. Three years ago, Aiden was a person to keep to himself. Now he is Mr. Social. I've appreciated Aiden in all his stages, but I loved the person he was now.

Jakob was hugged next.

Once they reached us, Aiden did the introductions this time, particularly emphasizing that Donny was his boyfriend. Everyone offered "nice to meet you" pleasantries.

The meeting room was set up in four rows of twelve chairs. We took up ten in the third row. I think my friends would have preferred the back row, but the adults led us to where we were seated. A few of the guys helped themselves to coffee.

There was a moment of housekeeping notes at the beginning of the meeting, and we all got quiet. As the shares started, my friends shifted their weight in their chairs, not exactly sure of what they should be doing.

"Hi, I'm Adrian. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Adrian," the group replied.

Adrian's share was still not being allowed to see his grandson. His daughter didn't trust him enough to be near the baby. He had been six months sober, but he admitted he hadn't made enough progress in restoring that relationship. But he said there had been some tiny steps moving forward.

The group clapped.

"Hi, I'm Joni. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Joni," the group replied.

Joni's share was that she had been on time to work for three weeks now. Her boss had pulled her into his office a month ago saying she was close to getting fired. That was the turning point for her to attend AA. She was grateful that she was better, but she said she was struggling not wanting to go out and buy a six pack almost every day. But she had been strong and resisted.

The group clapped.

"Hi, I'm Richard. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Richard," the group replied, including Emanuel and Aiden.

"Today is my wife's birthday. Or would have been. I lost her nine years ago. When she died, my world fell apart. It only took about six months before I was drinking four or five drinks a day. When you're retired, you have no real motivation to get up. I stayed in bed for most of the mornings back then. I soon got to the point that I felt I had nothing to live for.

"While I can't ever picture myself with any other woman, I do have a sense of family here and at my church where I help distribute food to those who need it. Even after nine years, I miss her every day. Thankfully, I know she is looking down on me and is proud of me. I knew she wouldn't have been proud of me when I was drunk.

"I love you, Irene.

"Thank you."

The group clapped. All my friends did too.

The next woman got up.

"Hi, I'm Nancy. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Nancy," the group replied.

"Five weeks ago, I'm not sure if I could ever believe I could make it a month without having a drink. I was hoping it would get easier, but I can't say it has. There are days that I question if I even want to be sober. Really. Then I remember that my friends just sort of drifted away one by one. The loneliness just made me drink more. I blamed them. Can you believe that?

"I often question if I can keep this up forever, but every day I look in the mirror and just say do it for 24 hours. One day at a time, right?"

Nancy took a breath. "I guess that's it. Thank you."

The group clapped.

Lance got up.

"Hi, I'm Lance. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Lance," the group replied.

Seeing Lance up there struck Aiden in an odd way. I saw him put his hand on his heart.

"I'm here with several people tonight. Eight years ago, I would have no idea the importance they would have as my extended family. I love them. They have helped me in ways I can't begin to count.

"There's also the finest young man I think I've ever met here."

My friends looked at me. I wasn't looking at them, but I could tell. I imagine they were smiling at me.

"He has several of his friends here from college. They seem like fine boys." Lance stopped. He looked down and collected his thoughts. "I remember my first meeting. I was the youngest one there ... here actually. So young. I thought for sure I didn't belong there. To get my license back, a court order made me attend ten meetings. Believe it or not, I went back to that judge that November and thanked him for making me come here.

"The fact was ... I did belong here. I could so easily have died in that car wreck. I was driving drunk. I missed a turn and ..." Lance stopped. He caught his breath. "I sometimes wondered if I had died in that wreck if anything would have changed."

I looked at Forrest. He was hypnotized by Lance's words.

Donny reached for Aiden's hand.

"My husband tells me ... he calls me an angel ... that God sent me to him. I'm not the world's biggest religious person, but ... I do sometimes wonder if it was God's way of showing me that I could make a difference.

"I hate it when I see beer commercials showing that it's the beer that makes people have a good time. It's not the beer, it's your friends. When things were ... really sucking in my life ... I thought beer would help me feel better. I'd have a good time. When I still felt crummy, I just drank more, figuring it would work. I finally got numb to the emotions I hated. So, I drank a lot. That was my answer. I was in college in my last months, and I had alcohol in three different places in our apartment. I was 22. Thinking it was the answer to my problems and my pain ... It was my biggest mistake.

"I was so ashamed when my father picked me up in the hospital. In that moment, I wished I had died in the wreck. I did. But thankfully, he's the best father in the world. I love my dad. He and Mom love my husband like their own son.

"Sometimes I have to remind myself that if anything is happening right now, it isn't forever. So many good things lie ahead.

"Thank you."

The group clapped, including all my friends. Aiden clapped the loudest.

Jakob got up next. "Hi, I'm Jakob. With a K."

"Hi, Jakob," the group replied.

Forrest got up from his seat. I watched him walk to where the coffee was stationed. He grabbed a napkin and blotted his eyes. He seemed to want to stand at the back.

"I'm the person who thinks Lance is an angel. I told him that when we first started seeing each other. We met in this very room. At that time, I was homeless. I lived in the shelter a few blocks from here. Who would have thought removing alcohol from your life lets you actually make progress? It's a first step. A big one. If ... anyone ... is wondering if you can actually really give it up, please know you can. And the support of this group of people will help."

"It happened to Lance quickly. For me, it was just a slow path year after year. I thought it was nice to be included with those around me — they drank. When things in life seemed to be going wrong, I eventually made sure whatever I had to give up ... it couldn't be the alcohol. Until I lived in my car.

"After moving into the shelter, I just wanted to work again, to get myself out of the hole I dug myself into. And I had to come here to do that. I'm just glad I wasn't alone.

"Thank you."

The group clapped. Forrest came to his seat, but he clutched the napkin in his hand.

"My turn, I guess." Dad got up.

Laramie moved over a seat next to me and put his arm around me.

"Hi, I'm Cooper. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Cooper," the group replied.

"Hi, Dad," I barely said under my breath.

"I will try my darndest not to embarrass my son by being too weepy or too mushy or ... too me."

I smiled. Others chuckled.

"My son has brought several college friends tonight. I'm honored to meet them. And I'm grateful that I turned my life around so that I could be in his life. I'm humbled by the people in this program that helped me along the way.

"Like so many others here, that next drink just seemed like the solution for things to just be better ... or go away. I had so many things in my life I didn't know how to handle. It's funny, I didn't even drink in college or even much after that. It was at work — social functions — that I found myself having a drink. I don't know why, but I easily developed a taste for liquor.

"When my life seemed like it was coming apart, I found myself going to the cabinet for just one. Maybe two. I was confident I could hide it from my wife. But she knew. I kind of think my son did too, even though I told myself no one knew."

Laramie's hand on my shoulder gripped me close to him. Aiden put his hand on my arm. His thumb wrote comforting circles above my wrist.

"He was the reason I found myself at AA. I won't go into the circumstances here ..." Dad wiped his eye. "Not in front of his friends. But in my recovery, just a picture of my son helped me in those moments of temptation. I knew there was a better world for me. For him, if I got my act together.

"So, if I haven't embarrassed him too much ... I'll just say I am very thankful that liquor is not the chasm between us it could have been.

"Thank you."

The group clapped. Before doing so, Aiden squeezed my hand for a moment, then joined the others clapping.

Forrest wiped his eyes.

There was one more share. Following that, the group recited the Serenity Prayer. The chairperson handed out one-day chips to those who were there for their first meeting, as well as a one-month chip to Nancy.

As we stood, Geoff just stared at me. "Wow. I mean ... wow. I have no words."

"I wasn't really wanting to come to this, but ... Corey, I was – I was moved," Emanuel said.

"Try telling that to our friends back at school. Ooooo ... church AND an AA meeting. You guys know how to party," I said in a sarcastic tone.

Before we left the Center, Ophelia arrived early. She had come to see Jakob and Lance since they had driven in from out of town.

"Corey, it's really nice to see you," she said. I knew she was there to see Jakob and Lance, but it was still nice of her to take a moment of time to visit with me. I introduced her to my friends. She was the chairman of the closed meeting next. Otherwise, she would have come to this one.

Before long, we were off to pizza.

"I have a table for ten set aside in fifteen minutes," Laramie said.

Four cars pulled up to Parma Sean's.

"Hey!" Lance said, motioning everyone over. "Before we go in, I just wanted to say thanks for joining us at the meeting. I asked if you could come because ... well, I told Aiden at Christmas time. I told him never to think alcohol was the answer to a problem. I didn't want him to repeat my mistakes."

"He said he'd beat the shit out of me if I did," Aiden said.

Everyone laughed, except for Jakob.

"Lance!!" his husband chided.

Lance put Aiden in a headlock. "He knows I care about him."

Once Lance loosened his hold, he put his arms around Aiden from behind.

"Just so you know, you can hold me like this all night," Aiden said.

Lance let go and ruffled Aiden's hair. Aiden took his hands and felt all the muscles in Lance's arms.

"All right now," Donny said, slapping Aiden on the arm. Everyone was all giggles.

We ordered three large pizzas to share between us, but Manny stayed strong by ordering a salad, but he did say he would enjoy one slice.

"Boy, does this place bring back college memories," Lance said. "Trent and my teammates came here a lot. Between the drinking and pizza, I put on some weight as the season was winding down."

"Seriously?" Geoff said. "You're so buff, I can't imagine you ever being overweight."

"First, I had to get off the pounds. I am the general manager at a gym in Von. I work out each day."

"You give me hope," Emanuel said.

"Have you lost some weight?" Lance asked.

"About twenty pounds since Christmas."

"Whoa! You go, dude! That's impressive."

"He's awesome," I said.

Even with his skin color and the lower light in the restaurant, I could see Manny blush.

"Hey, guys, I'm not a preacher. I don't want to give a sermon or anything. I get it. It's college. People drink. I'm not telling you not to. But if it ever seems like you need that drink, then please ... just stop. Don't go further. It will take you down. That's it. I won't say anything else."

"I have to say, I was really touched by what people had to say tonight," Donny said.

"Me too," Forrest said. "I – I – was ... it wasn't anything like I thought it would be."

"Every meeting is different," Dad said. "Some meetings are more impactful. There are nights where it is just a handful, and there are nights when it seems like the room is full."

"But regardless, you never feel like you're all alone," Jakob said.

"That's nice," Forrest said, not really looking at anybody.

 

—

 

Two hours later, those in Aiden's car didn't mind being drawn into hugs by all the adults. They thanked my dads for paying for dinner.

"Corey, tonight was really enjoyable," Emanuel said from the back seat. "Your family is really nice."

"Yeah. I guess they are. I feel lucky in that regard."

"My parents wouldn't have been that nice," Geoff said. "I mean, they're polite. They aren't HATEFUL or anything, but ... even Lance and Jakob spent so much time making us feel welcome."

"Yeah. I really learned to love them on a Vegas trip a few years ago. They're awesome."

"Not to gross you out or anything, but I want to have sex with Lance so bad," Geoff said. "I'm attracted to women, but ... damn. That guy is built. I just wonder what it would be like."

"Ugh. Don't think of my friends that way, perv," I joked.

We pulled up to Dad's house ... our house.

Geoff brought his laundry in, as well as his duffle bag. We'd do his laundry the next day.

Lance and Jakob carried an overnight bag up to the guest room.

"Just for tonight, one of you will have to take the couch. I hope that's okay," Dad said to us. "The other can bunk with Corey."

"I'll take the couch this time," Emanuel said.

I thought he said that quickly. Was it because Geoff took the couch at Mom's, or he didn't want to share a bed with me? Was it me? Or was it him? Or was he just being polite to Geoff to not have to take the couch again? Whatever.

As we relaxed in the living room, I jumped up. "Oh my gosh! I just realized. Geoff, Manny ... Laramie and Jakob are the ones who did the art over my bed: `The Journey.' They're the artists."

"Really??" Geoff remarked. "Wow. I look at that ... like all the time. Probably every day. Corey talks about it and the symbolism and everything. He loves it."

"Well, that's nice to hear," said Jakob. "But all the symbolism is in the carvings. That's Laramie's work."

"We're a team," Laramie said. "We're working on our largest piece we've ever done for a new facility in Von, the town where Jakob and Lance live."

"Awesome," I said. "When will it be done?"

"It's big. You'll probably be home for the summer. Luckily, the building won't be done until August."

"Corey, be sure to text us a picture," Manny said.

Each of my friends told the adults in the room where they were from. I think Dad enjoyed hearing how I interacted with my friends. They said very kind things about me. It was so different in high school. I really didn't want my parents to even be in the same room then. Now, I felt more grown up. We were obviously younger, but in some small way, I felt like we were all adults in the room.

No one needed anything else to eat. We were stuffed with pizza, but Laramie offered to make some decaf coffee. Manny and I said yes. So did Jakob.

A text came in. It was Aiden.

"Just FYI. Forrest had a breakdown as we drove home."

"Oh!" I said out loud. I showed Geoff and Manny. They looked concerned.

"What does that mean?" I texted back.

"We'll talk tomorrow. He seems okay at the moment."

Holy cow. That was unexpected. I'm sure Aiden and Donny are unsure how to handle it. Was something said at AA that got to him? He got up that one time.

At 11, everyone started preparing for bed. Laramie got bedding for Manny to sleep on the couch. Geoff and I let Jakob and Lance have the bathroom first.

Geoff and I sat on the edge of my bed until they were done. As we heard Jakob finish up, Geoff got up to go next. I stood at my door, wishing Jakob a good night. When Jakob opened the door to the guest room, Lance had undressed and was standing there in just briefs. Both Geoff and I were taken by the amazing physical specimen that Lance was. Muscles everywhere were defined. They were big but not grotesquely bulging. However, his crotch was. Man, how big a dick did Lance have??

Geoff turned to me and mouthed the words, "Oh my God." He took one last glance. Lance looked up, and we meekly waved. "Good night," we said.

After I had my turn in the bathroom, Geoff and I undressed down to our underwear and crawled into bed. He wore a T-shirt also.

"Holy macaroni, Corey. Lance is ... wow." Geoff stared at the ceiling. "Can you imagine having a body like that?"

"No. I'll never have that. His package looked impressive too." I rolled toward him. "But, to have a body like that, you have to work out. A lot. I don't think that would ever be in me."

"He certainly takes advantage of where he works. That's obvious."

"From what I hear, he's great with the members. He has the best membership of any gym in the chain. I don't question that is due to customer service, starting with Lance down."

"And to think he could have died in a car wreck. That's unsettling."

"Yeah. Those AA meetings can be eye-opening."

"I'm glad we went."

"I'm pleased you feel that way. I know it was a weird thing to do on Spring Break."

"All these people — your family, your friends — I've enjoyed spending time with them. I don't think ... well, I know ... my parents would have been truly boring in comparison. It surprises me that you think they're lame."

"They can be."

"Count your blessings, Corey."

"I do."

We were quiet. I thought Geoff might be ready to go to sleep.

"Do you think Jakob is hurt when they have sex?" was asked to the darkness.

I laughed out loud. "I'm sure they make it work."

"Thinking about the two of them gets me hard. Isn't that weird?"

"I don't know. That's not my department of expertise." I turned to him. "I thought you are attracted to women."

"Oh, I am. But there are times... I recognize when men are hot. Like your dad and his husband."

"Ick."

"And when Sam was getting off without touching himself during the bet."

"Okay, even I admit that made me hard for some reason. I noticed you were too."

"That was the beginning of the floodgates."

"How do you think you're doing?"

"Well, Father Eric says `God provides a way.' So, I've been providing a lot lately."

"Hm. I see."

"That time I walked in on Ace and Beth. That was the hardest time. I was ready to pull up ... stuff to watch. You saved me then."

"I was just there for you. Aiden would have too."

"Yeah. I actually thought he might be there. We could have ... taken care of things together."

"You and Aiden have had sex??"

He was quiet. "He didn't want me to say anything, but we jacked off together one time. I asked him too. Have you ever done it with him?"

Now, I was the one who wanted to be quiet. If I admitted we did it fairly often, would the two of us come off weirder than we already were? We knew we were extremely affectionate, but we kept all our jack-off sessions on a friendship level.

"We did in high school," I misled.

"I almost asked you that day," he softly said, still staring at the ceiling. "But we were distracted with better things to fill time. You were a real lifesaver, Corey."

"That's a bit much, but I'm glad I could be there for you."

There was a noticeable silence.

"Would you ... be willing to right now?" Geoff softly asked.

Eeek. I wasn't expecting that question during Spring Break. Was I willing? Was I? Aiden and I had done it countless times. But that was Aidien. That was us. We did everything together. We shared everything. Would I be able to do it with another guy? I had no idea what to say. But I was feeling close to Geoff. He had let his feelings be shared among so many of us. He was open. What was I to say to such an invitation??

"I guess."

Geoff rustled out of his remaining clothes completely. His T-shirt and underwear were thrown near the foot of the bed. I got out of bed, stood, and then let my boxers drop to the floor. I wasn't erect, but my dick was moving in that direction. I went to my closet and got a couple of hand towels. I crawled back in the sheet, naked, and handed him one.

"Thanks," he said, almost inaudibly.

There was obvious movement under the covers as our fists started working on our cocks. The bubbling movement of fabric pushing up and down couldn't possibly conceal what was taking place underneath.

He didn't say anything. I didn't say anything.

We didn't make any sounds. The only thing to hear was the rustling of the bedding.

Geoff pushed down the covers to expose his cock. The room was dark. There was just enough light to vaguely make out his crotch. I knew he didn't have a big dick. We were the same.

He let his breathing become a little louder. There was a slight grunt in his breath.

I became bold enough to expose my waist.

Geoff would lift his butt off the bed every now and then, which slightly intrigued me. His legs wriggled out from the sheets; he lay fully naked on top of the bed. Jerking. Pulling. Stroking.

He breathed harder.

He breathed faster.

He yanked harder.

He yanked faster.

He panted harder.

He panted faster.

He lightly moaned.

His butt lifted, and Geoff shot cum a foot in the air. My eyes adjusted enough to see that first shot. I couldn't tell how much, but that first shot confirmed his climax.

I continued stroking my dick. It felt good. I wasn't thinking about anything. I just masturbated. Geoff didn't clean himself. I knew his cum was all over his chest.

Cum.

Dicks.

Guys.

Coming.

Hard.

"Oh, yeah," I gasped.

I didn't know if Geoff could see it or if he was watching or if he cared, but cum went to my nipples and all down my torso, clinging to the light hair on my body.

"Whew."

Geoff reached over to rub a few fingers in my cum. I didn't expect that. Then he took them away.

"Thanks for doing that with me," he said. He then reached for the towel to wipe himself off.

I did the same.

I reached over for his rag, and then got up to place both of them in the closet hamper. I slipped my boxers back on.

Geoff remained on top of the covers. I crawled into the sheets, prompting him to get back in them. His T-shirt and underwear remained at the foot of the bed.

 

—

 

Something in my dream caused me to wake up. I felt warm. I felt Geoff's body rolled against me. It felt nice, almost a bond. But ... he wasn't Aiden. I moved over half a foot. I knew he was still naked; I wasn't sure if he really intended to be pressed into me or not. I gave us that space.

It was 2:15.

...

I became aware of Geoff's warmth again. His arm stretched over me, making me open my eyes. It was 2:50. His breathing indicated he was asleep. He was holding me in his sleep. I could have pushed him away, but I felt slightly trapped. Either wake him up or be held. In my fuzzy state, I liked being held. I thought I felt his dick pressed into me. It felt hard again. Maybe it was an arm or wrist or something else pressed into me. I tried not to think about it.

 

—

 

Thursday.

Sunlight woke me up. I rolled over. Geoff was gone.

Seconds later, the door opened. He stepped into the room. A towel was rubbing the last bit of moisture from his hair. His dick was visible to me. It wasn't big at all. Like mine. But he didn't hide it. He reached for his brush in his toiletries.

"Bathroom's free," he said.

"Are Jakob and Lance up already?"

"Yeah. I hear them downstairs."

"Hm. We should probably go down before they leave."

There was no breakfast being fixed. Dad and Larmie had a bowl with yogurt containers, a basket of breakfast bars and boxes of cereal. Manny was eating yogurt. Most everyone else was just having coffee. Lance had juice.

"We've got to head out," Lance told us. I gave both him and Jakob a huge hug.

"It was nice of you to come down. I always enjoying seeing you two."

"Same here," Jakob said in his hug.

Manny and Geoff shook hands, with everyone saying "nice to meet you" pleasantries.

From the kitchen, we heard them say goodbye to my fathers. Geoff watched them. I knew they kissed my dads before stepping out the door. Geoff returned to the table with a slight smile on his face.

He and I opted for a bowl of cereal.

"You guys will be fine on your own while we're at work?" Dad asked.

"Yeah. We've done it all week. I promise not to set the house on fire."

"I never worried about anything like that for a second."

Ten minutes later, they were gone, and I was in the shower.

As I was getting dressed, Manny stepped into the bathroom.

I was wrestling with getting a sweatshirt over my head when I heard Geoff, who was sitting on my bed, "Thanks for not ... thanks for being okay with last night."

My head poked through. "It was fine. I wasn't expecting it, but ... no biggie."

I combed my hair and noticed Geoff looking at me, as if he wanted to say something.

"Did – did I tell you I loved you in the middle of the night?"

I stopped combing. "I don't remember that at all."

"Maybe I dreamed I did."

"Must be."

"Maybe that's what it takes. You know, to tell you I love you."

"Love you too, Geoff," I said, resuming my hair styling.

We were quiet for a moment.

"Have you heard anything further about Forrest?" he asked.

"Not yet, but we are heading there before lunch. I guess we'll find out."

I hugged him before leaving the room. "It wasn't that hard to say after all, was it?"

"I guess not." He lightly squeezed. "But I meant it."

By the time Emanuel came downstairs, we were ready to drive over to Aiden's house.

"What are we doing today?" Geoff asked.

"Not sure. We might just hang."

"The weather looks iffy," Emanuel said from the back seat.

"I could do a movie if it rains," I said. "Or we could just watch something there."

We arrived just before 11. Aiden answered the door. We all looked to see if it was just him.

"So, what happened with Forrest?" I softly asked.

"Emotions got the best of him last night."

We walked in, but we still didn't have any details.

Donny and Forrest were watching something on TV. The three of us looked at Forrest. He seemed to be okay. He then noticed us staring. He reached for the remote.

"Well, I'm sure you heard that I was sort of a wreck last night."

"Uhh-" Geoff uttered.

"I'd rather be humiliated in front of you rather than knowing you are talking behind my back."

"We just heard you were ... upset, that's all," I said.

"Fell apart is more like it."

"So, what's wrong?" Emanuel asked.

"I suppose it started in the AA meeting. I listened to all those people talking ... the woman who felt it might be better if she didn't get sober, then Lance saying he wished he had died instead of his father seeing him after the wreck. It just hit me. I – I – I pictured myself in their shoes. I don't want to be with my family anymore. I could see me being one of those people in a few years. I'm not really a big drinker or anything, but ... I just ... don't like myself. It wouldn't be hard for me to start drinking to just forget or to feel numb to it."

"For me to say, `Don't feel that way,' doesn't validate what you are saying. I understand how you feel because I watched my dad go through it," I said. "Just listen to Lance's words, any problem is only temporary."

"But what if the problem is yourself!?" Forrest said. "I will always be a jerk. Why should anyone like me?"

"I like you!" several of said.

"You put up with me. Deep down, I'm a dick. When we went shopping the other day, a woman barely bumped me with her cart, and I snapped, `Watch where you're going.' When we went to Wendy's, the guy behind the counter was rather feminine. My default reaction was `Well, HE'S gay.' Like it made any difference. I just go to that place automatically." Forrest bowed his head. "I'm just really not a nice person."

"Bullshit!" Manny said, which surprised me because I could hardly remember any time that he cussed. He walked over and sat next to Forrest, putting his hand on Forrest's knee. "Yeah, you went through some years of being kind of a ..."

"An asshole," Forrest finished.

"Okay. Sure, half a year ago, I hated you. I thought you were a total creep. I didn't want to be near you. But ... look at us now. We're all glad you're here. And you are a nice person. You might have said that to the lady, but I also heard you go back and apologize to her a minute later. She wasn't upset; she thanked you."

"I didn't know you saw that."

"And the guy at Wendy's..." Aiden started. "He was completely gay. I thought the same thing. He was so flamboyant. There's a difference between saying something mean or simply being observant."

"I think the thing that really got to me when we were driving back from dinner was Corey's fathers."

"What do you mean?" I asked, caught off-guard.

"They're really nice."

"Thanks."

"And ... for the past few years, I would have done nothing but make fun of them, call them names, look down on them. They were so ... incredibly nice. So was Lance ... looking out for us. I just thought the worst of me for ever thinking the things I did about gay people. Like I was somehow better. It just came over me ... a feeling of being so wrong and hating every day you ever lived."

Donny leaned into him and put his arm around him. "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm going to say one thing, and then I'll leave it with you," Manny said. "I want you to learn to not just like yourself but allow others to like you too. You may not feel you deserve it, but clearly, all of us do. Please let us like you, Forrest. Because we do."

"You seem stuck in the past," Aiden said. "The better thing to do is just look to the days ahead. Like Lance said. This is just temporary; look how far you've come."

"How far have I come?" Forrest asked, looking at Aiden.

"You have five people around you that care about you very much. That's huge. Considering what we all thought half a year ago, that's kind of amazing. You're kind of amazing."

"Hardly."

"I only knew you as a nice person," said Donny. "You don't have to change my mind."

"I don't deserve you guys." He looked down.

I got on my knees in front of him. "Look at me." Forrest raised his eyes. "I want to hear you say: I deserve to be happy."

"No."

"Say it!" I demanded.

"I deserve to be happy."

"Louder."

"I deserve to be happy."

"Louder."

"I deserve to be happy!"

"We think so. We want you to feel it too."

"I'll try. But ... enough about me."

Suddenly, we heard heavy rain outside the window. It indirectly ended the previous conversation.

"Yuck. I don't want to go out in that. Let's see what we might do for lunch here. I'll investigate," Aiden said. Geoff followed him to the kitchen.

Manny sat with Forrest for a moment. I lightly grabbed Donny by the arm.

Pulling him into a corner, I asked him, "Has everything gone well this week? Between you and Aiden, I mean."

"I ... guess. I'm not sure what you are meaning specifically, but ..."

"Parents? Forrest being here? Alone time?"

"Oh yeah. All that's great. His parents have been really nice."

"Good. He doesn't always speak favorably about them." I peeked into the kitchen. We were still out of earshot. "I'm glad. I see you guys show affection. I can tell he's happy you two got together. He really likes you."

"He thinks the world of you too."

"We're the best of friends. We have been for a while."

"I can tell."

"Well, I wanted you to know that I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Corey."

An announcement came from the kitchen. "Lunch will officially be soup today," Aiden proclaimed.

It was more than just a simple meal; it was barely a meal. I looked toward the window. The rain had not lightened up one iota. Soup it was. I was sure we would be fine.

"Plus, ta-dah!" Aiden cheered. "We have chips!"

"Say no more then," Geoff said.

Actually, it was fun. Aiden had seven different kinds of soup. We chose two that had two cans, and one that Manny thought was on the lighter side. I looked in the refrigerator.

"Aiden, how about we fry up some bacon and add some extra potatoes to the potato soup?"

"Ooo. Good idea. We can melt cheese on top too."

The six of us sat in the kitchen as I piddled with ingredients on the stove. Manny had an Italian Wedding soup. I added a few more potato chunks to the cans of soup and also grilled some onions, along with the bacon. For the tomato soup, I added a can of diced tomatoes and garlic to make it a heartier soup. The extra items took additional time, but we were eating in about 35 minutes. Everyone munched on chips and drank Cokes in the meantime.

"This turned out okay," I told Aiden, as we carried our bowls to the sink.

"Well, thanks to you, it was much better. You really added the extra touch to those canned soups."

"Happy to do it."

He looked at the others at the table. We were alone. "Can I share?" he softly asked.

"Sure. I guess."

"Not that you should care, but ... Donny and I have had sex six times," he said in hushed tones.

"Okay." It was an emotionless response.

"I had to give his ass a break last night. I just gave him a blowjob."

"Well. How about that," I flatly said.

"Sorry. I know ... this isn't your thing. But ... I really feel good about where the two of us are. I just wanted to tell you."

"I'm happy for you. Really. I'm glad it is all working out."

As we joined the others, I smiled watching him and Donny make eyes at each other. They'd sneak a quick peck on the lips every now and then. Our friends were immune to it, hardly giving it the slightest notice.

I was happy for Aiden. He was finding what he wanted. It made me wonder if I would find what I'm looking for with Zoey, or would she just be one date and then move on? She seemed pleased that I asked her out. Maybe it would work. There was no need to put any more pressure on something new. I just needed to go out and have fun.

But what did that involve? What did she expect? Patty and I had so much sexual tension. I hated starting over from scratch. I was ready to lose my virginity with her, but — thank heavens! — that didn't happen. Not with her. I would have hated myself for it. But if we were still going out and she wasn't a narrow-minded homophobe, would we be having sex like Aiden and Donny were? Like every day? Starting over again, I wasn't sure where I was on the morality diving board.

A new photo came in from Ace. He was in front of a downtown sculpture.

"What is that?" Geoff asked.

"It's by Picasso," I replied.

"How did you know that?" Sam asked.

"I just do."

"It's weird, which means I like it," Aiden texted with a laughing emoji.

Manny sent a thumbs up. Geoff didn't acknowledge the text.

We watched a little TV, but some of the guys began napping on the couch. Donny and I went for a Coke in the kitchen.

"I hate to wake them up. I guess we don't have to leave for another hour," I said.

"Aiden is so adorable when he's asleep," he said.

"Hmm. I see him sleep all the time. I guess I haven't pictured him that way." We peeked again. "Perhaps innocent."

More than anything, I just saw the best friend I loved. I enjoyed seeing him in a peaceful state.

"Your friends seem to share everything," Donny noted.

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"You guys are very open with each other."

"Well, some more than others. Aiden and I share everything, but some people keep things private. I've come to learn more about Emanuel, but not necessarily a whole lot. I know Geoff wishes he and Ace were closer. I suppose they talk, but Ace tends to keep things in. How about you and our roommate?"

"Chas? We don't share that much. We talk, but we aren't as close as you all are. We've never argued or anything."

"Hopefully you feel comfortable enough to do so with our group."

"I suppose. Forrest and I have kind of clicked. Maybe because we have such similar poor starts to this school year."

"Oh? Were you verbally abusing people in the shower room too?"

"Ha. Hardly. Well, I liked Aiden back in August and September, but then I ruined it. I feel so bad for ghosting him."

"Why did you?"

"Pride. I was embarrassed by ... something."

I remembered this. Aiden said the date ended when they were making out and Donny accidentally came in his pants. Donny wouldn't answer any of his texts or calls.

"I wanted to call him," he continued. "But the longer I waited, the more awkward it was that I had ignored him. I guess I did a lot of soul-searching last fall."

"How so?"

"I was fairly inexperienced. I didn't feel comfortable rushing into everything ... well, sexual."

"I can relate."

"I guess I wanted to, but I didn't know if I could ... be any good at it. Then after that ... bad date, I was embarrassed. By Thanksgiving, I realized I was letting my college years slip away with me taking no chances."

Was that what I was doing? I was still a freshman, so it wasn't like all my years were slipping by. But did I want to take chances? I still didn't have my mind made up what my sexual priorities even were. I hated being a virgin, but I was kind of proud that I didn't just sleep around too. How did those two things even fit together? I just wanted it to be right.

I had tuned Donny out for a second, but he was still talking. "...and by Christmas I knew. I was just hoping he would give me another chance."

"I'm glad it worked out."

"I'm really falling for him, Corey."

"I think he's a great guy — and a great catch."

"It may be a little soon, but ... I think ... I might be ..."

"In love?"

"Maybe."

"Have you told him that?"

"No. No. Oh no. It's a little too soon. But ... this week, we have ... let's just say the romance is burning. I love being with all the time."

"Sounds like love."

"I'm not sure what being in love really feels like. I've never felt it."

"Now that you say that, I'm not sure I have either. High school crushes were more that — crushes — than being something life-changing."

I didn't love Patty. I'm so glad we didn't have sex.

"I don't want to pressure him. I'm trying to slow it down to his speed. It's funny, last fall I was the one in the slow lane. I think we should just be on cruise control before I rush it any further."

"Well, good luck. I know he really likes you."

My phone rang. It was Ace.

"Hey there. How's Chicago?"

"Good. I'm havin' fun." Ace hesitated. "Are you alone?"

I moved to the back of the kitchen near the patio. "I don't think anyone is within earshot. Is anything wrong?"

"I don't know. How's Geoff?"

"I think he's doing fine. Why do you ask?"

"He ain't replying to my texts. I even tried to call once. He's ignorin' me."

"Hmm. He hasn't said anything to me. I ..." I wasn't sure if I should say anything. "I know he wishes you two could take a trip to Chicago and-"

"I know. I hurt his feelin's, I think. I didn't mean ta."

"You two will work it out when we get back."

"Hope so. I didn't mean ta make him feel bad."

"Enjoy your last days there."

When I finally had to wake Manny and Geoff up, their nap had gone on for ninety minutes.

Laramie grilled steaks for all of us. The guys loved that. He and Dad wouldn't let me do a thing for dinner, but I said I was hoping to make lasagna tomorrow. They said that sounded nice.

The heavy rain had dwindled to just a light rain. For some reason, we sat on the back deck. Watching the water drip off the overhead covering seemed oddly captivating. It was cool enough to enjoy a mug of hot chocolate. Manny had some hot tea. I appreciated how my dads asked about my friends' majors and hometowns. All my anxieties of my college friends having a terrible time in Jackson Bend had seemed completely gone by this point.

When it was time for bed, Laramie told Emanuel, "I have new sheets on the guest room bed, so you don't have to sleep on the couch anymore.

Oh. Geoff and I quickly realized he was sleeping with me the rest of Spring Break. But it wasn't like that was a problem.

The three of us sat on my bed for a while. We talked about Forrest for a few minutes, each of us pledging to help him feel better about himself. We briefly talked about Aiden and Donny as well. The two of them found our happy couple to be very sweet.

Manny headed to the bathroom first to prepare for bed.

"Have you talked to Ace this week?" I innocently asked.

"Nope."

There was no further discussion.

Once finished in the bathroom, Manny wished us "good night" and headed to the guest room.

Geoff went next.

Before his phone had gone to sleep, I snatched it to see what Ace had sent. I felt ashamed for looking at my friend's phone, but I was slightly concerned.

In addition to the group texts, Ace had sent a text every day.

"I hope you guys have fun. Keep me in the loop."
"It's colder here than I planned for. How is it there?"
"Are you enjoying being with Corey's family? Are they nice?"
"When do you guys get back? We do Sunday around lunchtime."
"Are you having fun? I am, but I miss everybody."

Geoff hadn't replied to a single one. I placed his phone on the nightstand right where he left it. I felt bad for spying.

I was the next one in the bathroom. Since Geoff was in my bed again, I wondered if he was going to suggest we do what we did last night. Thinking about jacking off with him the night before made me slightly hard. I wondered why. I wondered how many guy friends our age did such a thing.

Geoff was in bed when I returned to the room. He didn't have a T-shirt on, but most of his body was under the sheet, so ... I wasn't sure. I turned out the lights and climbed in wearing my boxers. My nightstand lamp was still on.

"Do you think Aiden and Donny ... you know ... do stuff in his own home?" Geoff asked.

"I'm positive they do."

"How do you know?"

"Aiden and I share everything. He gave me an exact count of how many times they've had sex over Spring Break earlier today."

"Seriously?"

"Aiden doesn't hold back."

"What have they done?"

"I'm not going to tell you that! He shared in confidence."

"Think Forrest can hear them?"

"Lord, I hope not. I would like to think they are quiet enough."

Geoff pulled down the sheet. I could see he had underwear on. I watched his crotch. I could tell our conversation was causing him to get erect. I could see his penis move below the fabric.

I wanted to change the subject. "Dinner was good, right?"

"Yeah. Laramie was a stud at the grill. Do you ever call him `Dad'?"

"On occasion."

"Both your fathers are very handsome. Your mom is very pretty too. It's no wonder everyone thinks you are good looking. All they would have to do is see your parents."

"Hmm. I think I'm just me. But ... thank you, I suppose." I watched him rub his cock a little. "What are your parents like?"

"As for looks, I hate to use the phrase let herself go, but my mother was very pretty when she was our age. I've seen pictures. But now she is a little overweight. She only wears makeup for special occasions. My dad has stayed in shape fairly well, but he started showing gray in his late forties. He is 55 now. He's lost some hair, and he's moving slower than when I was in junior high — I can tell. But he's good. I wish I had his chest. It's really hairy. I guess I have the genes from Mom's side."

"Aiden wants more chest hair too. I'm fine with what I have."

Geoff felt my chest. "It's light. It looks nice though."

"Um. Thanks. I think."

As close as Aiden and I are, he had never done that. Geoff had developed a comfort level with me it appeared. It was equal parts flattering, heartwarming and unexpected.

He stretched down his briefs and hung them under his balls. He fondled his dick a little. It wasn't extremely hard, but it was still enlarged. I asked myself why I was even looking at it to make such an observation.

He put his arms behind his head and just let his exposed cock finish getting fully erect. I saw it move into its firm position, like a jet just before takeoff. I started getting hard.

"Shall we?" he inquired.

His hand reached down and gripped his erection, slowly stroking it.

I wasn't sure if I wanted this to be a nightly thing. I wasn't uncomfortable with it, but I wasn't comfortable either. It was more like I was ... baffled that it was happening.

"Why not make it six nights in a row," I said. I pulled my boxers completely off.

We were both fully hard. Geoff didn't have a big penis either. For a moment I wondered if mine was actually bigger. I had an idiotic idea to go grab a ruler and somehow see if we could get it down to the millimeters. As if that would accomplish anything at all, other than making one of us feel somehow worse.

Geoff fondled his balls as he jacked off. I felt mine.

He spread his legs open wider. I spread mine.

He slowed his stroking down to long, drawn-out gropes, thrusting his cock through his fist. I did the same.

He teased his hole with a finger. I didn't do that. I had never done that. The thought of it was a turnoff.

He moaned a little as he increased his speed again. He continued to play with his ass. I started stroking faster and just let my other hand rub my chest.

"Have you ever switched hands?" he asked. "It's harder, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I usually will switch back after a few seconds."

"Weird, isn't it."

We were jerking, rubbing, yanking, stroking.

Breathing.

Grunting.

Moaning.

Feeling.

Panting.

Geoff's hips writhed in his stimulation. He gasped for air, pounding his cock with his fist. He groaned lightly. I knew Manny couldn't hear it, but I could. I felt the same. I knew what that sound meant. I could feel it in my own hard-on.

"Oh yeah," he softly gasped.

And I saw him come. He shot streams up his smooth chest. Gasping at each spasm of his orgasm. Even for someone straight, it was very arousing. His torso was splattered.

I moaned, turning my attention back to my own rod. I closed my eyes and worked my cock.

"Yeah," I heard Geoff breathe aloud, knowing he was watching me. "Do it, man."

I kept my eyes closed, trying to block out that I was being watched.

My breathing got more ragged as I was getting closer to reaching my climax.

"Corey, will you shoot on me?"

"Huh?" I said, opening my eyes.

"Come on me. Shoot it on me."

"Really?"

"Please. Please do it."

I knew I didn't have time to ask anything further. I scrambled to my knees, leaning over him. I jerked harder. Harder. Harder.

"It's coming."

I all but ripped my penis off my body.

"Ungh!" I grunted too loud, wondering if Manny heard me down the hall.

My first shot fired over his body to the sheet. I aimed my dick to spray more on Geoff. Each shot landed somewhere on him after the first misfire.

"Ohhhhh, yeah," he said.

I shook my cock, trying to get a drop off. He reached up and pulled on it once too. "Hey!" I protested.

"That was really cool, Corey. That was hot."

Geoff rubbed his chest, smearing cum from both of us all over his pecs. I watched, wondering why he — or anyone — would want to do that. But then I knew Aiden would too.

I was about to get a cum towel from the hamper, when I saw him get out of bed, open the door and walk to the bathroom, naked. Shiny with cum. Sticky with cum. The door shut; I heard the water run. A minute later he was back in the bedroom. I had my boxers back on.

He climbed back into bed nude. "Thanks, Corey."

I turned out the light.

 

—

 

Friday.

After saying goodbye to Dad and Laramie, I investigated the fridge to see if I had what I wanted to put in my lasagna. We'd make a quick dash to the grocery store later this morning.

Cereal seemed good enough for the three of us.

Back at Aiden's place, we planned on going out for Chinese for lunch. Turning on streaming services, we found a Pixar flick that we all felt would kill the morning. I noticed Forrest, Aiden and Donny had gotten entangled in a comfortable arrangement. Forrest was on the floor between Donny's legs. Aiden was lying on the couch with his head on a throw pillow in Donny's lap. The three of them — dare I say it — looked adorable. I was pleased that Forrest looked much happier. I could tell he felt close to those two, hopefully all of us.

"Are your parents enjoying our friends being around this week?" I asked Aiden, as we began to head to the cars.

"Yeah. I mean, we haven't done a lot necessarily. But one night we played cards. One night we watched a movie. Dad actually built a fire last night when it was rainy. He said he needed to finish up the firewood."

"Sounds nice."

"Donny and I held each other, and they seemed totally cool with it."

"Clearly, they fully accept you."

"I think. It wouldn't surprise me if your fathers didn't have some influence on them way back."

"I don't see how."

"Seeing other men live a regular life together, it ... it does bring a normalcy to it, I think."

"Perhaps."

We ordered three medium pizzas at Roman Column. Two girls from Choir walked by our table and said hello. We introduced them to our college buddies. Aiden introduced Donny as his boyfriend. Claire and Rachel didn't show any sign of being thrown. They were polite with everybody.

Our years in Choir seemed so long ago, even though we hadn't even gone a full year since graduation. I momentarily reflected on my graduation speech as valedictorian. The seniors seemed so close, but I hardly heard from anyone now that all of us had gone our separate directions with college. I missed them to a point, but my old friends from high school had been replaced by new ones, several of which were at the table with me. It slightly unnerved me to realize that one day these friends wouldn't be in my life anymore either. I didn't want to accept that. It was certain to be an inescapable truth. Maybe I'd figure out a way to keep in touch with all of them. That probably wasn't realistic. Perhaps a more achievable goal would be to create such great memories that years from now, all of us could recall them. These friends were important to me. I didn't want them to become like Rachel and Claire and all my other friends in Choir.

We left Donny, Aiden and Forrest mid-afternoon, saying we would see them Sunday at lunch. As tomorrow was the last full day to be home, I felt it appropriate to spend it with Dad and Laramie.

Manny napped on the couch. As I fiddled with assembling ingredients, I noticed Geoff staring at his phone, standing absentmindedly looking out the patio door. He leaned his head against the door frame, still staring at his phone. He didn't scroll or change the image or anything.

"What is it?" I asked across the kitchen table.

"Ace."

"And...?"

"He said he misses me and wants the two of us to do a Chicago trip one day."

"Nice."

"Yeah," he said, almost trancelike. "It will probably never happen ... but it's nice to imagine it. Maybe."

I ripped apart a head of lettuce and put it in the salad spinner. When I turned my head to look, Geoff was still captivated by Ace's words. His forehead pressed against the glass door, but his eyes still looked at the screen on his phone.

It was the words Geoff needed to see.

I finally saw him reply, although I had no idea what his words were.

By the time I needed to layer the lasagna, Geoff expressed he wanted to help.

I had onions, green peppers, sausage, three cheeses, sliced mushrooms and Velveeta.

"Velveeta?" asked Geoff.

"Totally. We had it around the house for grilled cheese sandwiches growing up. Mom didn't have ricotta one time, and I said we should put Velveeta in. It made the lasagna so cheesy. I've used it ever since. I like it way better than ricotta."

"Interesting." Geoff watched me slice the cheese block into thin slices. "Have you ever had lasagna made with cottage cheese?"

"Not a fan," I responded.

"Ditto."

We layered two lasagnas. One was heavy on meat and cheese. I even threw some slices of pepperoni in. The other one was plentiful with veggies, although there was meat and cheese in it as well. I figured Manny would choose this one. It still had plenty of calories though.

At dinnertime, I was praised for my efforts and acknowledged Geoff's assistance.

Following dinner, I decided to text Zoey.

"I hope Spring Break is going well. I look forward to Tuesday."

She replied back right away. "Me too."

When it was time for bed, I was last in the bathroom. Geoff had entered first. After I brushed my teeth and peed, I realized he was asleep in bed. He went out fast. There was no sign of underwear anywhere, so he wasn't naked. I supposed it was time to end my string of nights of masturbation.

 

—

 

Saturday.

A bit of light peered through the blinds. As the morning daze began to materialize, I became aware of my morning wood. I so often stroked it as I awoke. I liked feeling it. It felt good this morning. Hard, firm. The sensations of my pulled skin being touched was -. Touched. I felt my dick being touched, but my fingers didn't have the sensation of touching my hard-on. I wiggled my fingers as the cobwebs in my brain were being pulled away. I wasn't stroking my cock. But I felt it being touched.

I opened my eyes.

I tilted my head to see Geoff naked on top of the covers. He had rested my boxers underneath my balls. His cock was bent completely back, long and firm, all but touching his navel. His fingers were wrapped around my dick, gently feeling it up and down.

"Geoff?"

"Morning."

His mouth opened, and he leaned over to maneuver my cock into his mouth. I felt his lips wrap around it.

"I don't think we should-" I started.

"I'm completely willing. I'm fine with it."

Then his mouth was on my hard-on again. Wet. Sucking. Licking. It felt so good. I liked it.

But.

"Geoff. Stop. I don't think Father Eric would think this is a good idea."

For a split second, he didn't move. He was frozen on me, unmoving. His mouth around my dick almost seemed to dry up. His eyes didn't appear to blink. He pulled his mouth off my cock.

"Corey, I'm – I'm so sorry. I didn't even ask you. I just ... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I'm okay. I just don't think this is a good idea."

"I'm so sorry."

Geoff moved off the bed and pulled his underwear off the floor and up and over his legs. He grabbed a T-shirt and pulled it over him.

Geoff was clumsy. Suddenly, his behavior seemed scattered, erratic.

"I'm sorry, Corey."

"I'm okay. Come here."

"I'm so sorry. I can't believe I did that."

"Come here."

Geoff sat back down. I reached out my arms. He seemed hesitant, but I pulled him into a hug.

"I don't know why I just thought that would be okay. I can't believe I did that. I just assumed ... Corey, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, don't overreact. I'm okay."

Geoff pushed himself from me, still upset.

"What was I thinking? What's wrong with me?"

"I'm okay. It did feel good, but I just don't think it is the best thing for you."

"Yeah. Father Eric would be so disappointed." Geoff flopped onto his back. "You're just so good-looking, and I woke up hard. I felt that you were hard, and ... I just thought you looked hot. I – I – I just wanted to suck your cock. I didn't even think. I just acted. I'm so sorry."

I reclined next to him and put my arm around him. "We're fine."

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

I didn't have answers for Geoff. I wished I did.

He pushed himself away from me.

"I'm gonna shower."

Geoff walked out of my bedroom looking terrible. As much as I knew we didn't need to see that blowjob carried through, I also hated seeing him hurt. But he didn't ask or make sure that it was okay with me. He needed to deal with that. I cared for Geoff, but I was worried about him.

I was ready to jump in when Geoff was finished. He came back into the room, wrapped in a towel. He made sure I left the room before he took it off. I knew he still felt bad.

And after a great week, we were now awkward.

As I showered, I thought about being sucked. Odd as it was, it made me hard for a minute or two. Then I put it out of my mind.

Our last full day was dedicated to parents. I knew Aiden's plans were to do the same, and I was pleased that he was spending time with them. That relationship had improved so much. He wanted nothing to do with him in high school. Or he at least felt they wanted nothing to do with him. Was he as withdrawn at home as he was in classes at high school? Thank heavens he joined Choir, or we probably never would have become friends. I thought he was a bit peculiar back then. Now, I can't picture my life without him.

Dad made chili for lunch. Some of us chose to pour it over Fritos and melt cheese on top. Manny was strong, but I knew it was tough for him to just stay with the chili only. Spring Break could have been a good time for him to backtrack, but he was doing well watching carbs and calories.

He saw me staring at him, smiling.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What?"

"I'm so proud of you."

He blushed a little. "Thanks."

"You look so great."

"Well, SO great is about twenty more pounds away, but I'm getting there. Seeing results is very motivating. Watching you eat Frito pie is pretty dang challenging. You even have sour cream!"

"I'm sorry, Emanuel. We aren't being very considerate, are we?" Dad said.

"Don't worry about me, Mr. Snow. You and your husband have been awesome. I'm very grateful for everything. I wouldn't expect you to change things just on my account."

"At least dinner is a stir-fry, and I'm packing it with veggies," I said.

Geoff was very quiet.

The plan for us today was to spend a little time outdoors. Laramie wanted to show the boys his shop as well. Even I kind of wanted to see what he was carving for his next work of art.

I was rinsing dishes at the sink when Geoff came up behind me. He gently wrapped his arms around me.

"Please forgive me," he whispered to my shoulder.

"Of course. I'm fine. You're my friend." I turned within his embrace to hold him with my arms as well. "I think you learned something there moving forward. You don't ever want to get yourself in trouble."

"Right. I'm not sure I'm getting better, Corey."

"Yes, you are. The envelope is intact. You haven't watched ... stuff ... in more than two months. Father Eric would be pleased you aren't sleeping with women, so ... headway."

"Until I take advantage of a good friend."

"It wasn't unpleasant, Geoff. It felt good, even for the few seconds you did it. I – I just didn't think it was the right thing for either you or me."

"I'm sorry."

"Forgiven. I love you." I squeezed him tight and let go.

The day flew by. It was a nice day at the park. We noticed a concert being set up for the evening. We all thought it was a good idea to come back later. The guys seemed interested enough in Jenkins Mantel and the pieces Laramie had in his and Jakob's latest work of art were very nice. He talked about their symbolic meaning. My stir-fry received compliments. I even did laundry before we packed up.

Upon our return from the concert, we shed our layers of clothing. There was no wind, so the upper 40s weren't that bad. Laramie informed us he was making hot chocolate. He told Manny that he even got some sugar-free. I thought that was a very nice gesture. I smiled at Laramie. He saw me and winked back.

It was strange that I had such a great time during Spring Break after being a little worried that the guys would be bored or more parents would come off as stupid.

"I know you guys have to head out after lunch with Aiden's family, but ... are you all joining us for Coffee at 9?" Dad asked.

"Which is ...?" Geoff said.

"It's a coffee group. I've mentioned it occasionally in the past," I said. "We'll be the young ones," I joked.

"The rest of us will be the ancient relics," Laramie said with snark.

"I didn't say that," I rebuffed. "And you know it."

"Most of the group is adults," I clarified.

"We're adults," Emanuel interjected. "We're men."

"Hell, yeah, you are," Laramie said. I noticed Dad giving him a glare for cussing.

There were hugs before bed. Manny was first upstairs and out of the bathroom quickly.

"Hey, Corey," Manny sheepishly said. "Would it be okay if I didn't go with you for coffee?"

"Um. Sure."

"I guess you're not going to church tomorrow then."

"Are you wanting to go to mass?" Geoff asked.

"Would you look down on me if I said `yes'?"

"Of course not," we both said.

"I'll look for a church close by."

"You can borrow my car," I said.

I went to the bathroom next. After Geoff had his turn, he put on a T-shirt and sweatpants before bed. I knew he felt self-conscious regarding the morning situation. I said nothing. I had my boxers on and slipped into the sheets.

"Good night."

I had slept an hour. Something caused me to wake up. I didn't know if it was a sound or a dream. It took me a moment to realize that Geoff was gone.

I lay there listening. I couldn't hear anything. After a couple of minutes, I assumed he wasn't in the bathroom.

I opened the door and peered into the hallway. There were no lights. Anywhere. I walked down the stairs. No one was in the kitchen. I looked into the living room. There was enough light through the blinds that I could tell that Geoff was on the couch. I went over and sat on the edge, touching his arm.

He rolled over.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I couldn't sleep. I was afraid if I tossed and turned, I'd keep you awake."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything. You know. Yesterday morning."

"It's fine. You can come back to bed."

"I think I'm better off here."

"Are you sure? I can go get you some sheets and bedding if you want."

"I'm fine. This pillow is enough."

I rubbed his shoulder. "Are you sure? It's completely fine to be in my room."

"I'm fine here."

I went to the hall closet. I knew there was a blanket in there because we often covered up with it in the winter when watching TV on the couch. I went back to the living room and draped it over Geoff. It caused him to stir.

"At least have this."

"Thanks, Corey." I took two more steps. "Love you."

I kissed him on the forehead. "I'm glad you can say that. Love you too."

I went back upstairs. I felt bad that he chose to sleep there, but perhaps it was better for him.

 

—

 

I woke with a hard-on again. I didn't think it was right for Geoff to touch me and suck me, particularly without us talking about it, but thinking about it kept me hard. For some reason. It was only seconds, but his mouth on my cock felt really good. I kept thinking about it — and how I liked how Geoff's dick was like mine — until I came. I didn't want Dad or Laramie to discover a cum rag after I left, so I wiped cum on my sock from the day before.

I was the first to shower. I liked how my dick hung longer than usual. My hands groped my cock with sudsy slickness. Aiden and I would be back in our room by nightfall, so the week of frequent masturbation had come to an end.

Manny met me at the bathroom door, to my surprise. With Geoff downstairs, I hadn't taken underwear. I thought it was only just a few feet to my room, but Manny saw me naked for the first time. At least my dick wasn't as short as it could have been.

"All yours," I said, trying to sound casual in my undressed state.

"I found a church with a 10 o'clock service. Would it be okay to go with you for one cup of coffee and then head to mass?"

"Sure. You can take my car." I touched him on the shoulder. "I'm glad you can meet my friends."

I put on a fresh pair of jeans and a Notre Dame T-shirt.

Downstairs, I noticed the blanket all folded at the end of the couch. Geoff was in the kitchen with a banana and a glass of juice with Dad.

"Morning, son."

"Morning."

My shoulder nudged into Geoff's arm. "Did you sleep okay?" I softly asked.

"Yeah, but I'll probably nap on the way back to campus."

"That's fine."

Manny took my car to follow us. Geoff and I piled in Laramie's truck. We got to Joe a little before 8. The coffee shop hadn't changed much in the five years I had been coming. Laramie pulled two tables together so that it could seat ten people.

Brad saw me from the back and rushed out to hug me. "Oooohhh, it is so nice to see you!" His hands held my arms as he pushed me back. "I still can't believe you are this big."

Geoff and Manny were taken aback by the sudden affection from the staff. I introduced them to Brad, calling him a dear friend.

Emory and Don arrived next. Introductions were made.

Mitchell came in next.

"No L.B.?" I asked.

"It's hard with his work schedule." We hugged. "It's good to see you, Corey."

"You too, Mitchell." I introduced him to Geoff and Emanuel. I knew I had mentioned him to my friends in the past, but I wasn't sure if I had told them he cheated on Dad. It didn't matter. Everyone involved was in a good place.

Mike and Trent were the last to arrive. It was great to hug them too.

"Trent helped me write my first songs in high school," I said. "He is a playwright and is on the radio each morning too,"

"And I'm just Mike," Mike said, shaking their hands.

"Don't believe that. He's an outstanding teacher. Fantastic."

Most everyone just had coffee, but there were a few cappuccinos. I had mine black, like I had for years. Geoff and Manny investigated the flavored creamers.

"Here we are. For our new friends!" Brad said, setting a strawberry kolache in front of Geoff and Emanuel. I saw Manny look at the stripes of icing. Damn. It was awkward.

"Eight more. On me, Brad!" Don announced, holding up his credit card.

"Uh ... just seven," Emanuel said. He reached for Brad's wrist. The barista looked confused and knelt closer to Emanuel.

"I'm – I'm sorry that I can't eat this. It was such a kind gesture. Really. Thank you. Please know I appreciate it very much. I – I – I just can't."

Brad's eyes were intently staring at Manny's. It was telepathy. They were connected without words. "I get it, champ. I understand."

Manny slid his pastry over to me. Soon he realized that several of the people at the table had been observing. It was slightly awkward. He could have lied and said he was diabetic. He could have not said anything at all. It was just his business.

"Um ... I'm on a path to lose a certain amount of weight. I'm down 25 pounds since the start of the year ... and ... um, I'm trying to stay strong."

"Good for you," a few people said. Laramie reached across the table to high five. Manny responded with his hand. The awkwardness dissipated.

"We have news," Trent said.

"You're finally expecting?" Emory joked.

"Please. No." Trent responded. "We finally sold our play."

"Our play?" I asked.

I had seen Signposts, Trent's second play. I would tell the guys about it on the drive back. The Brutal Reality was his first.

"Mike and I wrote one a few years back."

"With my name on it, no one was interested," Mike moaned.

"I doubt if that was it," his husband scolded. "It was just different than my first two. It has a completely different tone. It's lighter. But anyway, a company out of New York stumbled across The Brutal Reality and put it on. It did really well there. They asked if I was working on anything new. Mike and I had this ready to go and they love it. It will take about nine months of production they said, but ... we will probably be taking a trip to New York in November."

"Congratulations!" almost everyone at the table said.

Brad came by with a tray of strawberry kolaches for everyone. He leaned down and whispered to Manny. Emanuel nodded. A minute later, a yogurt parfait layered with berries was placed in front of my friend.

"Love you, Brad," I said. Brad had started walking way, but he turned with a snap, marched back and kissed me on the top of the head. "Mwah. Love you too, kiddo." I smiled.

I noticed Geoff smile at me, and then he took another bite.

"Manny, you're a rock star," Geoff said. "I applaud you so much, but — man — this is to die for."

"Thanks for twisting the knife," Emanuel said, sarcastically.

For several minutes, my adult friends from my hometown showed an interest in my college friends. Geoff and Emanuel told everyone about their families and towns. Being from the south, Manny's home life was fascinating to everyone living in the Midwest.

"I'm sorry, if you will excuse me, I need to head out. I'm sorry this was so short, but it was really great meeting all of you," Emanuel said. The table looked blank. "I'm heading to a service up the street. St. Anthony's, I believe."

"That's a beautiful church," Don said. "You'll like it."

Manny nodded and clumsily excused himself.

"You have the address to GPS home, right?" I asked.

"I do."

Emory knew I had enough faith in me that he didn't say anything, but his look of disapproval of religion was evident to me. I think Don's comment helped Emanuel feel fine about leaving us.

I saw Manny thank Brad again before opening the door to the parking lot.

For forty more minutes, we enjoyed listening and sharing and drinking coffee that Brad kept refilling. Dad and Laramie had committed to going to New York in November. Don tried to talk Emory into it. Since Emory's stroke, he wasn't as eager to travel. Emory conveyed "they would talk about it."

I'd love to go see it, but that would be right in the heart of the fall semester.

The fall semester.

I hadn't really looked that far. Who would be back? Would we all be in Dunne again? Would I still be seeing Zoey? (Still?? We hadn't even had our first date.) Would Donny and Aiden still be together? Would Forrest feel like coming back? It seemed so far off, but it was really only months away.

"So, is college everything you were expecting?" Don asked me.

"Hm. I'm not sure what I was expecting necessarily, but ... I love it. Our group of friends ... they mean a lot to me. I enjoy most of my classes. I like being on campus. I don't think college is a good fit for everybody, but it is for me."

"No surprise, considering you were the valedictorian," Dad said.

"Dad, stop. Please."

"Sorry." My father liked to put me on a pedestal, but I didn't like being there.

"I've never felt this close to friends before. Aiden and I ... we just get along so well."

"Where is Aiden?" Emory asked. "Didn't he come home for Spring Break?"

"He's with his parents. We're joining his family for lunch."

Following hugs — the biggest one from Brad — we had the car loaded a short time later. Manny had enjoyed the service, and we were headed to Basil and Chianti for lunch.

The check was divided into three. Mr. Dressel paid for Donny's and Forrest's meal. Dad paid for the three of us. I felt my friends were appreciative. Mom and Daryl had their own check.

We needed to head out immediately after the meal. It would be close to nightfall when we arrived back on campus, particularly if we stopped for dinner.

Because there were several cars, our large group was like pinballs bouncing back and forth from one car to the next.

I went over to say goodbye to Aiden's parents. I saw him hug them both.

"We miss you," his father said, making him smile.

I saw Forrest was next. Forrest reached out his hand to Mr. Dressel after Aiden had walked over to my parents.

"Thank you. For everything. Aiden's a wonderful human being. Thank you for doing such a good job raising him," Forrest said. "He's pretty amazing."

Mrs. Dressel looked surprised. An eyebrow went up. Mr. Dressel looked unsure of what to say.

"It was nice meeting you, Forrest," Aiden's father said. "We're glad you could come."

I shook hands and moved on to Mom as goodbyes continued.

"It all went by too fast. But I know you'll be home before I know it." She kissed me on the cheek. "I love you, love you, love you." Each "love you" was accompanied by a stabbing kiss on the cheek.

"Enough, enough, enough," I scolded. "I love you too. Enough already."

Daryl smiled at me and gave me a simple hug.

I moved to my fathers. "Thanks for everything. I appreciate you letting me bring my friends."

"We loved having them here," Laramie said, as his strong arms wrapped around me like eight times. He gave me a sloppy smooch on the cheek while I enjoyed melting in his arms. We didn't have anything to share this visit, but I loved how I could always talk to him.

Dad was waiting.

"All right, Mr. Mushy. Let me have it."

"You have no idea how proud I am of you," Dad softly said in his hug. "You've got good friends too. We loved having them here."

"Thank you."

"Can't wait to have you back home, but I know you are enjoying life there. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Dad. Love you."

We squeezed tighter, and then goodbyes were done. As my friends and I loaded the cars, the goodbyes changed to waves ... and we were off.

As we exited the parking lot, Geoff turned to me. "I soooo get you now."

"Me too," Manny said from the back.

"What the heck does that mean?!"

"Oh, come on, Corey," Geoff reprimanded. "It's no wonder you are able to be so affectionate with your friends. You have like the most loving family on Planet Earth."

"I doubt that. But yeah, they are pretty affectionate."

"I notice you accept it easier from others than you do from your own parents."

"You think so?"

"Laramie, Brad, Mike, Mitchell. You practically lived in their hugs. You give your parents a hard time."

"Because I grew up with them! My father is one big marshmallow."

"They're awesome. I now have a complete picture of you. I understand you."

"Good. Maybe you can explain me to myself, because I have no idea what I'm doing." We chuckled. "I'm just glad they didn't embarrass me."

"No. That was my role this morning," Emanuel moaned from the back. "I'm sorry."

"Why? What are you apologizing for?"

"The whole morning. Turning down Brad's dessert. Leaving shortly after we got there. To go to church! I know I was embarrassing, and I'm sorry."

"You were no such thing. You're a rock star, Manny. We're proud of you. You're our little jicama."

"Do NOT call me that." It was quiet, but we were all smiling. "You don't think your friends were insulted that I left, do you? I hope they didn't think it was because they were gay. I mean, seven out of ten were. And who knows what you even are, Geoff."

"Hey!" Geoff shouted, throwing a wadded-up sweatshirt at Manny's face. We roared with laughter. "I was able to tell Corey that I loved him this week."

"Hm" came from the back seat.

"Can yoooou?"

"Leave me alone," groaned Manny.

Geoff and I giggled.

The two of us then turned to Emanuel, and in unison, we said, "I love you, Maneeeeeeeee."

"Just shut up and drive."

—

 

Spring Break was officially over. We slammed the trunk and carried our bags of clothes to the front entrance of Dunne Hall. I would come back for a basket of other items later.

When I got to our room, I realized I still had a sweatshirt of Geoff's that got mixed into my bag. I walked next door. When I walked in, I found Geoff and Ace in a big hug. Ace wasn't a hugger, and it surprised me at how long it went on. When Ace realized I was watching, he let go and stepped back.

I threw the sweatshirt to Geoff, and then I gave Ace a brief one-armed hug. "I look forward to seeing your pictures from Chicago."

"It was fun. I missed you guys."

Aiden's car was five minutes behind ours. I heard him shove our door open with his foot. I waved to my friends and headed back to our room.

"Thanks again, Corey," Geoff said. "I had a great time."

"Me too."

Aiden groaned, throwing his duffle bag on his bed. "I'm glad that drive is over."

"At least you had company."

"Yeah. We just dropped Donny off."

"And it was good all week?"

"It was great all week. I think ... I think it is getting to the point where ... I don't know. It just seems to be getting serious."

"You are having tons of sex. I hope there is a level of seriousness to it."

"You put sex in a higher position than I do, but ... yeah. That has indeed pushed it into bigger territory."

"Forrest was never a problem?"

"No. Not in that regard. Can I share?" he said, looking into my eyes.

"I guuuueeess."

"You sure?"

"Is it gross?"

"Sex is beautiful. What are you talking about?"

It's interesting that Aiden thought that way. I never thought of sex as beautiful. It was lust and carnal and animalistic and horny. I was ready to do it with Patty, but I never envisioned it as beautiful. We were just hot for each other.

"Go on."

"Well, Forrest felt like he wanted to take a walk Friday, but he also said he should give us some private time."

"Considerate."

"Yeah. Well, I already told you we had been fucking most nights."

"Swell," I flatly said.

"But being in our house and Forrest just down the hall, we had to keep it very quiet each night. And a couple of mornings."

"Yeesh."

"But when we had the house to ourselves that afternoon — my mother and father were at work, and Forrest was walking in the neighborhood — so we got pretty loud. Corey, it was the best sex ever. It's funny; Donny was so insecure last fall. But now that we've had some experience, he's a little dynamo. We were so loud."

"I get it."

"Groaning and moaning and screaming."

"I get it."

"When I came, I'm surprised I didn't shatter the glass windows."

"I. Get. It."

"I'm falling for him hard."

"Tell me more about that."

"I like him a lot. A lot. I think we have something. We're good together."

"Well, I'm glad. He is clearly taken with you."

"You think? I hope so. He says really nice things."

"Have either of you said the L word?"

"Too soon. I mean ... I remember Lance telling me at Christmas about all the different types of love. I can tell you I love you all the time. But ... with Donny and me, it's kind of different."

"I completely understand." I stepped up to him and hugged him. "I'm very happy for both of you."

I went back to get the basket out of the car. I nodded hello to other friends and residents I hadn't seen in a week. I heard bits and pieces of drunken parties, one supposed sexual conquest, beach bashes and one scary flight. I was pleased that our friends seemed to enjoy their time back home, even if it couldn't be considered "wild" by even the furthest stretches of the imagination.

"Home safe," I texted to Mom, Dad and Laramie.

Right after I sent it, I regretted not saying "Back safe." Had I offended them? That just came out so naturally. In some ways, Notre Dame was home.

"Thanks for being so welcoming. We had a great time, and my friends thought you all were awesome."

"Because you are." I figured that would make them feel good.

A signal indicated a reply text from Dad.

"Aw. A little mush off the old block."

I rolled my eyes, but it made me smile.

"Glad you made it back safely, dear. Can't wait for you to be back home for a longer time this summer," Mom texted.

I finished putting everything away. Clothes were neatly stored. It was nice to see an empty basket. We had new snacks on the shelf and more drinks in the fridge. Nothing alcoholic though. Dad wouldn't have approved.

I reached for my phone again. "We're back. I'll see you soon," I texted Zoey.

To my surprise, she called. We talked for thirty minutes. I let her do most of the talking, telling me about her Spring Break. I'd share more on our date Tuesday.

Aiden came back from the store. He bought some new toothpaste and shampoo. He brought in a different sack of hard cider and a six-pack of beer.

"How did you get that?"

"I know a guy. He enters his own birthday."

"All that won't fit in our fridge."

"So what if some of it stays at room temperature for a few days."

"A few days? Did you become a heavy drinker over the break?"

"We do share with our friends, you know."

Aiden popped the new toothpaste from its box. He brushed his teeth. I followed shortly after.

"I'm tired. I'm turning in early tonight," I said.

"Sounds good."

It was 9:37.

We went down to pee. Two guys were showering. They came out dripping wet. One looked like a jock. He didn't have a big penis, but everyone had one bigger than mine. The other guy was pretty hung. We didn't hang out with either of them. I didn't even know their names sadly.

"Oh yes. I kind of missed the smorgasbord," Aiden whispered.

"Perv," I whispered back.

"I'm not saying I'm gawking at dicks. I just ... notice them."

Truth be told, so did I. They're called private parts, but when they are on display, it is natural to be intrigued. At least, that is what I told myself so that I didn't feel like a creepy onlooker.

We undressed for bed.

"Will it be weird not to have Donny in bed with you tonight?" I asked.

"Kind of. It was nice getting used to that." Aiden flung a sock into his basket. "But it will also be nice to be back in our room. I missed you."

"That's sweet, but you saw me several times last week. Besides, you had a warm body next to you all week in bed. I was easily replaceable."

"No." Aiden crossed his arms. "I may love Donny, but no one can replace you, Corey. You're the most important person in the world to me. Never forget that."

I smiled. I walked over to get a nightly hug.

"Did you hear what you said?"

"What? You ARE the most important person to me."

"You said you loved Donny."

"I did?"

"You did."

"Wow."

"Congrats."

We turned out the lights. I turned on the night light just to give the floor a slight bit of illumination.

"Fuck."

"Don't cuss," I said to the darkness. "What's wrong."

"Now I miss his ass. And his cock. And his chest."

"No sex for a while."

"We'll see. I've gotten kind of used to it."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Wait until you are fucking. It's a good thing."

"I'll probably be 63."

"I'm getting you laid by the end of this semester."

"That's kind of MY decision, buddy."

A decision I still wrestled with. I was disappointed in myself for being willing to go all the way with Patty ... before I knew everything. I couldn't even picture it with Zoey yet. We had done nothing. We hadn't been on a date. Picturing myself naked, screwing her, it just seemed shameful. Or was that Mom in my head? Or Father Eric? Surely, one day — even if I have to get married! — it will happen. Would I be any good at it? Would I be quiet? Would I be loud? I wasn't loud when I jacked off. Even when I had the house to myself in high school, I just groaned a little. Would I scream like Donny and Aiden?

"Dang."

"What's wrong?" Aiden asked.

"Now, I'M hard."

"Like that's a problem with us. Want me over there or stay here?"

"Don't you think Donny would mind if you were next to me?"

"Well, I have no intention of telling him of our jackoff sessions. But ... I'll be safe and make sure I don't touch you."

Aiden stood and shimmied his underwear to the floor. I could see it in the soft lighting. The night light didn't shine into the room. We turned it to only shine a bit toward the floor, bouncing off the wall. There was just enough for me to see Aiden's dick bouncing as he lifted the sheet to my bed. His erection was super hard, but it took him a minute to get there. It had nice bounce that I envied.

What a weird thing to envy.

I pulled my boxers down a foot. We both had our crotches exposed. Both hard. Both waiting.

I started stroking my rod. Aiden put his hands behind his head.

"I thought Roy had ruined me forever," he said, staring at the ceiling. "I'm glad I was able to get past that."

"Me too. Describe this loud sex to me."

"Oh, NOW you want to hear about it."

I chuckled. "I'm horny. I'm hard. I'm jacking off. Tell me everything."

Aiden did. I listened as he detailed the entire experience. He had a bit of storytelling flair when it came to his sexual experience. I stroked my cock gently as I listened to his tale of vocal freedom. Aiden jerked his dick harder than me. I crossed my leg over his. I hadn't done that before, but I needed to feel closer to him, even if we didn't allow our hands to touch each other. He told me of three positions they were in as he screwed his boyfriend. He told me how loud he was when he came — and how he wished he could show me there in our room. He told me about hiding the condom until he could dispose of it to where his parents couldn't see. He told me of Donny crying out as he sprayed cum on Aiden's face and how he licked it off when he was finished. He told me about sucking Donny's balls until they were both hard again.

And I came. A lot. Aiden's retelling was incredibly erotic, even for someone straight. Everything made a person's dick throb harder.

He told me of them doing it a second time, although no screwing was involved. Just sucking. He described Donny's cock in detail. I wished I had one like that.

And Aiden came. A lot.

We both lay there just breathing, feeling the cum on our chests.

"I so want to rub my cock through your cum, but I won't," he said. "I plan to be faithful to Donny."

"Because you love him."

"Yeah."

 

—

 

I arrived at my 2 o'clock class ten minutes early to make sure I would find Zoey. I debated getting two seats together and saving her one, but I figured it was safe to meet her outside.

She was several minutes early too. We saw each other and smiled.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," she said back and touched my shoulder.

I felt we should hug. We hugged. It was slightly clumsy, but we were glad we did it.

We found seats together in the classroom. As other students took their places, we made simple chitchat, but we didn't discuss anything too meaningful.

I wasn't sure if either of us paid as much attention to the instructor as we usually did, but we managed to take a few notes at least.

When the class was over, we sat on a bench outside the building for a few minutes.

"Can you do a movie tonight?"

"That was my last class. If I jump right in, I can get my work done. Sure."

"How about we meet in the dining hall first?"

"Okay. 5:30?"

"That works. I'll see what's playing around 7."

We made a clumsy hug again and waved goodbye. My heart was feeling a bit of butterflies. Or was it my stomach? It felt different than it did with Patty, but I liked dating Patty at the beginning too. I was looking forward to the date.

I wasn't sweaty or anything, but I took another shower just in case. I used my most fragrant shower gel, but I didn't own cologne. It smelled fake to me.

Back in the room, I played with my hair for a ridiculously long time. Eventually, I combed it just like I always did. I rubbed a little gel into it and let it be. I spent more time obsessing over what shirt to wear. I finally chose a red long sleeve. Then I changed to a gray polo. Then I changed to a navy blue long sleeve.

"Gah! Stop overthinking it."

Aiden walked in as I finally became content with my appearance. "How do I look?"

"Terrible. Change everything."

"What??"

"I'm totally kidding, of course. You look hot. Just be you. That's what drew me to you in high school. Be yourself. You're very nice."

"Thanks. I want her to like me."

"What's not to like?"

My inexperience.
My dick.
A gay father.
I dumped her friend.
I didn't have a ton of money.
My hair ... maybe.
I wasn't built like a jock.

"Don't get me started," I mumbled.

Aiden's arms wrapped around me from behind as I gave myself a final check in the mirror. He put his chin on my shoulder and looked at my reflection. "You look great."

"Thanks."

"It'll be okay."

I turned to give him a quick kiss for using my words.

"Oops. Donny wouldn't approve of that."

"It wasn't a romantic kiss. It was a friendship kiss."

"Guys don't kiss."

"Because they're hung up. Your father's friends do."

"They're also gay."

"See? They know how to do it right."

I hugged him again. "Love you."

"I know."

My mind went haywire just choosing what to eat in the dining hall. What had garlic? Were there onions in that? Would that get stuck in my teeth? Did that make me look like I didn't care what I ate?

I chose a salad, which probably made me look like a wimp. Chocolate pudding seemed safe. Or would the dairy in it make me fart? I put it back and got Jell-O. Which was probably a wimp food too. Dating was hard.

Zoey chose a chicken sandwich and fries. I immediately liked her.

As we sat down, I wondered what topics should be off-limits for a first date.

Patty.
Homosexuality.
My father.
Virginity.
Dick size.

GAH!!! I was spiraling.

She asked about my Spring Break. That was an easy one. I talked for several minutes about spending time with my friends and family at the same time. She said it sounded nice.

Ace, Geoff, Sam and Aiden walked by. They didn't say anything, but their eyebrows and grins were enough to serve as visual ribbing. My look clearly conveyed "Go away." They snickered. I didn't think Zoey noticed.

"You're really cute, Corey."

"Thank you."

"Scratch that. You aren't just cute, you're handsome."

"Thank you."

"And nice."

"Thank you."

Clearly words weren't coming to me.

"I think you are pretty and nice too," I lamely commented. I was pathetic.

Following dinner, I popped a breath mint on the way to the car. I told her we had a choice between a comedy and a scary movie. Thankfully, she chose the comedy. She might have curled up next to me in the scary movie, but I didn't like scary movies.

Halfway through the film, I placed my hand on top of hers. She turned to interlock fingers with me. I liked holding hands. It felt like a real date.

A real date. Ace would have a pocket full of condoms ready to get naked. Aiden would have lube in his jacket. I held hands.

We laughed at several scenes. The movie was really just a C+, but we enjoyed it enough.

"Would you like some ice cream?" I offered. I felt I could spring for that in addition to the movie.

"Nice. Yes."

I chose cookies and cream. She went for strawberry cheesecake.

I parked close to Dunne, but because it was a nice night, I walked her to her dorm. It was the one where I found Patty crying that night.

"I've really enjoyed spending time with you tonight, Corey."

"Me too," I returned, holding her hand. "Can I kiss you goodnight?"

Her answer was her lips pressed to mine. I kissed her again.

"Would you like to go out Saturday?" I asked.

"Yes. That would be nice."

"Great. I'll see you in class Thursday."

A smile didn't leave my face on the walk to Dunne. I thought the date went well. For me. She didn't seem to be expecting anything steamier.

When I got back to the room, Sam, Ace, Geoff and Aiden were waiting for me. They stared and said nothing.

"What is this? An investigation?"

"Tell us everythang," Ace instructed.

"She's nice. I like her."

"How far did you two go?" Sam asked.

"It was a first date."

"Did ya take a condom with ya?" Ace inquired.

"It was a FIRST date."

"Don't matter none. Things can get outta control perty fast sometimes. Be prepared."

"Did you touch anything? Any ... part?"

"It was a first date!" I hissed. "Out! Out. All of you. Out! Good night."

The three of them giggled.

I turned to Aiden. He didn't prod me for more info. "I like her. That's all I know so far. I kissed her good night."

"Sounds nice."

"It was."

Twenty minutes later, Aiden was asleep. He drifted off fast. My thoughts were on my date. I still didn't think of Zoey sexually, but I liked her a lot. The more I thought about her, the more I felt my dick. That made me wonder if she was touching herself. Did she finger herself thinking of me? Thinking of my cock inside her?

WHAT WAS THE MATTER WITH ME? How did my mind go there? I prayed for God to forgive me.

 

—

 

I had lunch with Zoey on Thursday. We walked to class together. We both seemed to focus on the subject matter better this time. When class was over, I asked her if there was anything she'd like to do Saturday night.

"I'm kind of liking the warmer weather. What can we do outside?"

"Do you like miniature golf?"

"Actually, I do. I played a lot with my family."

"Fine. Let's do that. Pizza first?"

"Sounds fun."

 

—

 

"Chas is going to his girlfriend's home for the weekend. I'm going to sleep at Donny's," Aiden said Saturday afternoon.

"Try to contain your volume when you go to bed."

"Hmm. It will be trickier this time."

"I was kidding."

"I wasn't." He looked at me. "But ... anyway, that would let you bring Zoey here."

"It's just a second date, Aiden."

"She thinks you're hot."

"She hasn't called me that."

"She said you were handsome, right?"

"So?"

"That's a girl's way to tell a guy he's hot without sounding like a slut."

"Because you know SO MUCH about women." I glared at him. "I don't want to get into this. You just have fun. Tell Donny `hi.'"

I didn't want to get into this. That's how Patty and I started building up too much sexual tension. We got all hot for each other without thinking things through. I didn't want to repeat those same mistakes.

But was Zoey wanting more than just holding hands and kissing good night? How was I to know? Dating sucked.

Two hours later, I met her at the grotto on campus. The weather was still in the 60s with nice sun. It really felt spring had arrived.

As we took a short walk, I reached for her hand. I enjoyed holding it. We were still so early in this; I wasn't for sure if I could say we were boyfriend/girlfriend. I questioned if college students even still used those terms. I guessed they had to since I couldn't think of others that conveyed the nature of a relationship.

"What should we do for dinner?" I asked.

"Something simple is fine with me."

"Okay."

"Do you like Chinese food?"

"I do."

"Is it okay for me to treat tonight?" Zoey asked.

"You don't have to do that."

"I don't mind. Really. Please let me."

"Well ... if you are sure you want to..."

"I do."

That was a surprise. I always felt like the guy should pay. Was that out-of-date now? I had so much to learn. Dating was hard.

Wiping my mouth with a napkin, I commented on how I enjoyed my Kung Pao Chicken. Deep down, I knew I needed to pop a TicTac though. Zoey ate most of her Dan Dan Noodles, but not all of it. She admitted she was done.

She placed a credit card on the tip try when the server brought it to the table.

"Impressive," I said. "I don't have any credit cards."

"My dad insisted I had one before I came to college." She smiled at the server as the bill was taken away. "You know, for emergencies and stuff."

"Dinner with me is an emergency?" I joked.

Zoey giggled. "Hardly. He is okay with me doing small things. I rarely use it. Simple items for the room, groceries here and there, gas."

"Well ... thank you again."

The card was returned, and I watched Zoey total out the tab. The phrase "keep the change" doesn't matter when you have a credit card I realized.

There were two fortune cookies.

"My friends always add `in bed' when they read theirs aloud," I said. I snapped mine open. "Exciting new adventures await you in the weeks ahead ... in bed."

Zoey wasn't smiling. Good lord. I came off as some sexual creep. That was so NOT me, but how did I recover? What an idiot!

"Um. Sorry. I didn't think. That probably came off as rather odd ... on a date ... as we are getting to know each other. Sorry."

Zoey didn't touch her cookie.

"I might be the one to say, `I'm sorry.' I suppose I should just be upfront with you. I like you, Corey — and I hate to scare you off — but I should be honest with you. I'm ... I'm a virgin. And I-"

"I am too."

Was I? Aiden thought his blowjob in January removed that status from me, but I wasn't sure about that. I had never ... well, fucked anyone. I felt I was a virgin. Or was I just allowing myself wiggle room to go either way?

"You are?" She took a breath. "That's not always easy to find on campus."

"I understand."

"Last fall, I was at a party, and when all these girls were playing Truth or Dare, I got really embarrassed by being the only one in the room who was a virgin. I burst into tears and left."

Oh. She was the one. Patty was at that party. Patty was a virgin too and became upset. But I couldn't tell Zoey that. That would be way too weird for me to know.

"Oh, trust me, Zoey, I'm very confident you weren't the only one in the room. This is supposed to be a Christian campus anyway. Surely there were more — ARE more."

"I don't know. I kind of ran from the party. I was so humiliated." She looked me in the eyes. "But since then, I've come to terms with it. I'm not only okay with it, I'm kind of proud that I'm not sleeping around."

"I get that! My friends kind of pressure me ... well, maybe a little. Mostly, I have really great friends. They're awesome. But ... I'm kind of the outlier when it comes to not jumping into bed. My roommate sure seems to."

That was cold of me. I just threw Aiden under the bus — and shared his sexual promiscuity to someone who doesn't even know him.

"I don't always think the best of my roommate either."

"Hm. I should clarify. I love my roommate. We're best friends. But ... we're different in that regard. I'd do anything for him, but he and I just feel differently about ... that."

"My roommate has slept with at least four guys that I know of her freshman year here. One time she tried to tell me about his ... oh ... um ... never mind."

Crap. No one would ever want to tell anyone about my never mind. Dating sucked. I wouldn't ever live up to a girl's expectations — or certainly not a fantasy.

"I've brought the mood down. I'm sorry," Zoey said.

"No. No, you haven't. It's nice that you are honest with people." I got brave. "If we are making confessions, I have one. My father is gay. Some people can't deal with that. But he's a wonderful dad, and I love his husband. So ... there you have it."

"That's not a problem for me."

"It broke me and Patty up," I muttered — for some unknown reason.

"Really? She couldn't deal with it? Screw her." Zoey's eyes opened wide. "I mean ... not screw her." She sighed. "Dear lord. Are you ready to take me back yet?"

I chuckled. "Don't be silly. I like you. I'm enjoying our time toogether."

She blushed a little. "Well, I have a gay cousin. I'm close with all my cousins. He came out two years ago. Really nice guy. I met his boyfriend at Christmas. They are adorable together." She put her hand on my wrist. "Was it hard growing up?"

"For me? No. Sure, there was a little teasing, but not a lot. It let me know who my true friends were. It was harder on Dad. Once he accepted everything, it split up my parents. Which makes sense. But they get along great now. Really great, actually."

"Nice."

The two of us stared into each other's eyes and smiled. Dating sucked, but I enjoyed this moment.

 

—

 

"Sooo?" Aiden inquired.

"It was a good date."

"How far did you go?"

"Aiden, please. We-"

Geoff and Ace burst into the room.

"We heard ya come in," Ace said. "Tell us everythang."

"I like her. I like her a lot. I think we're a good fit. And ..." I turned to Aiden. "... she has no issue with Dad being gay. She's very forward-thinking about that."

"Cool," my roommate said.

"So how far did you make it with her? Did you take a condom with you?"

"We aren't there yet, for heaven's sake!"

"Don't matter. Always be prepared. Or we'll be going to your wedding next Spring Break. Things get hot an' heavy pretty quick sometimes."

"Well," I admitted. "They did with Patty and me. That night, I did feel in my pocket one time just to make sure I had it."

"Good boy."

"ANY – way. We both agreed to ... take things slow. She shared that she isn't ready for sex, and I can understand that, and I appreciate her honesty."

I expected Ace to tell me to dump her.

"Okay. If that's what you both want, then it's right for ya two."

"Really? No teasing?"

"Of course not," Geoff said. "You've always been there for us, wherever we were. We just want you to be happy."

"I do like her. I think we fit together pretty well."

"Fine. Good then," Ace said. He turned and pointed at me. "But always be prepared."

"Good night," I said, shooing my friends away with my wrists.

I looked at Aiden. "You feel sorry for me, don't you?"

"Why on earth would I feel sorry?"

"You seem to want me to have sex, so Zoey is probably a complete dud in your mind."

Aiden hugged me. "Of course not. I just want you to be happy. And sex feels really good. It's ... pretty awesome. But if it isn't right — for right now — all I care about is if you are happy. You both seem to be on the same page ... so, it's all good."

I squeezed him. "I appreciate that."

 

—

 

It was the last week of March. In the past several days, it seemed like Aiden and Donny got together every other night. Zoey and I did the same, even if it was just hanging out on campus.

I introduced her to Aiden and Donny one evening, preparing her in advance that Aiden was gay. She was very nice to both of them. We seemed to gel, although a double-date didn't surface. Yet.

With spring came storms. We had enjoyed warmer temperatures, but rain was becoming more common. The old saying about April showers seemed to find its groove in late March.

Donny was in our room, along with Geoff. Ace was out with Beth, and Sam was on a date too. Curiously, we hadn't seen Manny in almost a week, but part of that was because Aiden and I were dating more routinely. That made me feel kind of sad that friends got pushed aside. Was it my fault or Emanuel's for not making the effort?

"Is the envelope safe?" Aiden asked.

"Meaning, safe from theft or safe from me giving in?" Geoff replied.

"Giving in."

"I haven't. It's been three months. It's up to $300."

"You just leave it around?" Donny asked.

"I know where it is at. Ace does too, and I trust him."

"Well, I haven't told anybody, so I can't imagine anyone breaking into your room," Aiden said.

"I trust my friends," Geoff said.

"I'm proud of you," I said.

We heard Geoff's door close.

"Ace is back. I guess I should go hear about all the sex HE is getting since I'm not."

"Where do they go?? Surely not in a car."

"He's a bit gun-shy about doing it in our room now," Geoff said. "Sometimes her room. He said they did it outside one time."

"In the open?" Donny asked.

"Well, not in plain sight, but they knew they wouldn't be seen."

"Hm," Aiden said. I wondered if he was getting an idea.

"But overall, Ace has been kind enough to not clobber me with details. He knows I'm ... trying ... to be good."

"Do you feel more in control?" I asked.

"Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was a runaway train over the holidays. But ... probably like your dad, I take it one day at a time. Somedays it seems harder, or I feel I made mistakes. But I don't seem out of control."

It was 10:15. A crack of thunder rattled our glass window. Aiden jumped a few inches.

"Man!"

We immediately heard the pounding of rain against the glass.

"Damn," Donny said. "Can I borrow an umbrella?"

"Just stay here," Aiden said.

"I – I – um ... I'll be fine with an umbrella," Donny said, looking at me.

"Corey won't care." Aiden turned to me. "Right?"

"As long as I don't have to leave the room."

"I don't even have a toothbrush."

"I have mouthwash. That'll work." Thunder clapped again. "It would be crazy to go out there, even with an umbrella."

Donny pondered it. "Okay."

Not much later, we all climbed into the sheets. Aiden turned off the glow of his name art. I had turned on the nightlight and angled it just a bit more to help Donny with a little more light in case he had to get up.

"Good night, guys," I said.

I had slept with Aiden in his bed before. I knew there wasn't much space, but I didn't think that bothered them.

 

—

 

What was that? My mind was crossing over from whatever nonsense was going on in my dream to the realization that I had been woken up. Another rumble of thunder could be heard.

I looked at the clock. 1:38.

I glanced over to Aiden's bed. Something looked off. I couldn't see a lot, but the cover was way too high. There was too much bulk. Then I realized Aiden was on top of Donny. Then I heard him breath heavily ... but just barely. Then I realized he was having sex with Donny. Then I realized his penis was in Donny's ass. Donny was on his stomach.

I should have turned away. It wasn't my business. I should have just fallen back asleep. But ... it was there. They were there. Sex was there.

Peering through barely opened eyes, I watched Aiden's cover move up and down, his ass just underneath it. Neither of them was loud. It was an obvious attempt at staying silent, I assumed for my benefit. It was just their breathing that gave them away. That, and Aiden's ass moving up and down.

"Oh yeah," Donny whispered.

"Feels good?" Aiden whispered back.

"Yeah. Keep fucking me."

My eyes slowly became even more accustomed to the lighting, but it was my hearing that became more enhanced. Their breathing slightly had a rasp of groaning to it.

I couldn't see any body parts, just Aiden's head hovering above Donny's. Donny was staring at the wall. Aiden buried his face into Donny's neck. He just kept pushing his body into Donny's.

I knew Aiden's breathing from our jackoff sessions. He was getting close. I must have come in on the end of this. I reached for my own cock. It was so hard. Just halfway watching sex in the dim lighting was arousing. I didn't matter if it was two guys. It was male. My dick knew that the sensations they were experiencing were gratifying.

I stroked myself.

"Ungh. Donny, I'm ... I'm gonna ..." Even with just hearing his breathing, I knew Aiden was coming. His ass pushing hard into his boyfriend was so off-the-charts hot ... even for me.

Aiden kept his weight on his lover. They just breathed for a minute. I wanted to throw off my sheets and jerk my dick until I came, but that would have intruded into their moment. My roommate eventually slid off Donny. They kissed and held each other.

I let go of my hard-on and attempted sleep. I heard a rumble of thunder. Usually, I liked sleeping during rainstorms. Perhaps I could fall back asleep quickly.

 

—

 

Donny borrowed a sweatshirt of Aiden's and headed off to class. The three of us had showered. For the first time — as it should be! — I saw a glimpse of Donny's penis. He was, of course, much bigger than me. It was a nice dick, if what I saw in two seconds was an accurate indication.

Before we left our room, Aiden turned to me. "Did you happen to wake up in the middle of the night?"

"Once. Thunder woke me up."

"Hm. I thought I might have heard you jump."

"Yeah. It was pretty loud for a bit."

"Did you ... um ... hear ... anything else?"

"I did."

Aiden sighed. "Damn. I'm sorry, Corey."

"Just the last few minutes."

"Lord. I'm sorry. I had no intention of ... well ... fucking him. We just woke up once. You slept through the first bit of thunder. He felt me. I was hard. Then we felt and ... groped each other. I looked and could tell you were asleep. He whispered, `I want you to fuck me.' And ... well ... I wanted to fuck him. God, I'm sorry. Forgive me."

"It was strangely arousing for me. Had I started along with you, I probably would have finished at the same time."

"Hmm. That sounds totally hot." He chuckled. "Sorry. Really."

"It'll be okay," I said.

I had so often said those words to him. They were followed by a quick peck on the lips. It was us, even if it was ... unusual. My body instinctively started to lean in, but then I caught myself. He was with Donny; even if it was only a "friendship" kiss (if we invented such a thing), we shouldn't do it. We looked at each other. Our eyes said we both felt it was missing.

 

—

 

March 31. Friday night.

I got back from my date with Zoey first. Aiden came in just after 11.

"So. How was your date?" I asked.

"I'm not sure."

"What does that mean?"

"Chas said we could have the room until 10, but he'd be back around that time. We didn't fuck. We just gave each other blowjobs."

"Okey dokey," I sarcastically said.

Aiden sat next to me. He put his hand on my leg. I could tell by his expression that something was wrong. I had never seen this expression on Aiden before. It wasn't panic or worry or fear or confusion — it was all of them.

"What is it?"

"He – he told me he loved me."

"Ooo. Wow." I paused. "Wait. Was that not a good thing?"

"It was a wonderful thing. I said it back to him."

"Great." A piece of the puzzle was still missing.

"He – he told me he was hoping he ... he wants to fuck me."

And I then knew Aiden was scared.

 

* * * *

 

Look for a post, "Spring Break," at the blog: timothylane414stories.blogspot.com

Email: timothylane414@gmail.com

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