Once again, I wasn't expecting this chapter to be this long, but I am staying true to the format of each chapter being one month.

As a reminder, at the end of March, Aiden was freaked out by Donny's request.

Thank you for the support! Don't forget to support the Nifty platform with your donations: https://donate.nifty.org/

 

 

9 - April

Aiden

I lay in bed not being able to fall asleep. It was past midnight, and I realized it was technically April Fool's Day. Well, the joke was on me. Just when I thought Donny and I were perfect and totally in sync sexually, he tells me he loves me and wants to fuck me.

We had made it work so well the other way around, why did he want to switch it up?

After Roy tried to fuck me last fall, I thought that type of sex with me was out forever. Donny and I eased into it, but he assumed the role of "bottom." I wasn't sure if I could do it. I failed so miserably in the past.

Fuck.

I love him! How could I possibly mess all this up now? But I was going to. I was a horrible "bottom." I just didn't like it when Roy tried. It hurt so bad.

Damn.

 

—

 

My alarm went off. I couldn't have had more than two or three hours of sleep. I had tossed and turned so much. It was going to be hard to trudge through a shift at the CCE.

Corey came into the room. He had gone to the bathroom. If we were working, both of us tended to shower after our shift.

My paychecks seemed to be going toward dating Donny lately. We weren't extravagant, and we usually shared expenses, but eating out and going to entertainment ate through a wallet. We should have a talk about investigating more free things to do.

Sex was free.

But now I was afraid for the next time we did it. Donny's request had totally thrown me. I was so delighted that he told me he loved me, then my whole outlook changed. I loved him too.

Corey flopped back down on the bed. "Are we doing breakfast?"

"I don't know. I'm not wildly hungry. They usually let us gnaw on something there — if anything is available."

I rolled on my side and stared at his side of the room: a bed, a desk and my soulmate. Things with Donny were great, but they weren't the same as with Corey. I can say anything to Corey, share anything with Corey, feel comfortable about anything with Corey.

Donny and I were going out for the night, but his roommate Chas was in town, so I wasn't expecting sex. A kiss here and there would probably be it. For tonight, that would be fine with me.

 

—

 

Donny and I shared a large pepperoni and mushroom thin crust. It was delicious. In terms of conversation, I could tell I was off my game. I wondered if Donny picked up on it. I was having a good time, but I just felt nervous and cautious.

All I could think about was what day would finally present itself for us to ... fuck? I really wanted to be inside him again. I loved it. But reversing the roles terrified me. Was I still a good boyfriend if I didn't want to do it? Was I pulling away?

Donny reached for his third slice.

"Are we going to the NDPrism get-together next week?" he asked.

"I'd like to. I haven't seen Josh and Brady in a while. I'm sure they will be there."

"Yes, that would be nice. Perhaps we should do a boys' night out with them."

"Sounds good. Corey and I haven't invited them to recent dinners. We're overdue in doing something with them."

"You and Corey do a lot of stuff together."

"Yeah. We do."

"Chas and I don't. Not that much really."

"Corey's awesome."

Donny wiped his mouth and set everything down.

"Do you have feelings for him?"

I stopped. This seemed like a trick question.

"What do you mean?"

"Straight forward. Do you have feelings for him?"

"I'm afraid I won't answer this correctly," I slowly said.

"Should I be worried?"

"About Corey? No. He's happy for us."

"He has said that, yes. Even to me. But ... you think about him a lot."

"Donny, I will tell you right now. I love Corey. Unquestionably. I couldn't ask for a better best friend, and whenever I screw up, he is there to make it right. I will always love him. But having said that ... I'm in love with you. I hope you can see the difference."

"I'm trying. I sometimes wonder if I can compete."

I reached for Donny's hand. "Hey, hey, hey, baby. You don't have to compete. This isn't a competition. I love you. Please know that. We can say that to each other now, and when the two of us say it, it means something special altogether."

I leaned over the table to give him a pepperoni kiss. Some college students at the next table stared at us. I didn't care and kissed Donny again.

"I do love you," he said. "And ... I hope to show that to you very soon. I so want to make love to you and be inside you and give you all my love."

"Yeah."

Damn it.

 

—

 

Sunday night.

Donny had arranged for the two of us to have his room to ourselves on Thursday. He said he would take me to dinner. Then ...

I reached for my second beer. Corey wouldn't be back from his date with Zoey for at least another thirty minutes. I had my studies done. I had nothing to do but obsess over Donny wanting to fuck me.

Five minutes later, the only thing in my brain was how bad it hurt when Roy stuck his huge dick in me.

Ten minutes later, I put the beer bottle in the trash and popped open a third. I belched. My mind started trying to think of reasons I could give Donny for me to not do it.

Fifteen minutes. I was spiraling into darkness. I didn't want to be fucked. I was afraid to tell Donny that. He would reject me. He would want to break up. I wasn't holding up my end of the relationship. I was going to end up alone my whole life because I couldn't get my head on straight. Or more accurately, my ass.

Thirty-two minutes. Corey opened the door of our room and found me a sobbing mess. I had started crying and couldn't stop. I continued to torment myself. It was the only thing I seemed good at at that moment.

"Aiden! What happened? What is it? What's wrong?"

"I – I – I'm a mess. I don't know what to do."

"How can I help? What happened?"

"You can't do anything," I whimpered. "I'm just going to fuck things up. I'm going to blow it with Donny." The tears flowed again.

"I don't understand. Did something happen? What can I do?"

"You can't do anything. I'm so scared. All I can think about is Donny and me ... you know ... he's planned it for Thursday night. It – it's not going to go well. It's going to be the end of me and Donny."

Corey lifted my beer. "Have you had more than this?"

"Yeah." I nodded my head toward the trash can. Corey saw two other bottles.

"Hm."

"I wish you could do something, but you can't. I wish I could practice with you, but that can't happen. Even if it could, it would technically be cheating on Donny."

"Practice?"

My lip quivered. "If – if – if – if I could figure it out beforehand, then maybe I wouldn't be so scared. But you would never do that, nor could I ask you to do that. And it wouldn't be right to do it because of Donny."

A tear went down my cheek. I grabbed a tissue, wiped it off and then blew my nose.

"Um. I ..." Corey went silent. Then to my surprise he left the room.

Fuck. Why would I even say that??! I freaked him out. I grossed him out. I had pushed him out of the room. I reached for the beer. I finished it. Then I was in a firestorm of fear and anger and frustration and disappointment in myself. What a horrible thing to do to my friend.

I felt the world cave in on me. I flopped on my bed and pulled the cover over me. Nothing could go right for me. Life was all going to crumble in the days ahead. I had fallen in love with Donny. I knew I was going to disappoint him to where he would decide to move on.

Fuck.

And I weirded out Corey.

I curled into a ball. The cover was pulled up to my ears.

Ten minutes later Corey came back in.

I felt him sit on the edge of my bed. I pulled down the cover to apologize. Before I could, he started.

"I can't."

"What?"

He put a hand on the lump that was my shoulder under the cover. "I wish I could, but I can't."

"Corey ... what...?"

"I thought about it."

"Thought about what?"

"Practicing."

I threw off the cover. "What!? No. Corey, no, no, no."

"I thought if-"

"No! I never intended for you to consider it. I said there was nothing you could do. No. No."

"But ... I wanted to help and-"

"No. I never expected you to consider that. My mind was rambling. I wasn't asking. I'm so sorry that you even thought about it. I thought I had grossed you out. I'm so sorry."

"I'm not grossed out."

"But you have such a strict moral code about sex."

"Kind of. Yeah. If we were just doing it as ... just having sex, right. I'd never consider it. But ... you were so freaked out and I wanted to help and I knew there was nothing I could do but you're my best friend and I thought maybe I could help you practice if it would help because I want things to go well for both of you and-"

"Corey. Stop. Breathe." I looked at him stare at the floor. "I would never let that happen. Never. I'd never ask you to do that."

He lay his body in front of mine. I put my arm around him.

"I'd do anything for you," he said.

"You're such a good friend. But not that. I figured that would totally gross you out."

He was quiet for several seconds.

"No. I had questions about gay sex in high school and junior high. It all seemed implausible and strange. But if you think of the body parts straight people use, it's just as ... odd, really."

"Hm."

"No one likes to think of their parents having sex. Now THAT'S gross. But ... when I saw Laramie love Dad so much, I knew that ... they showed it ... that way, and things changed for me, I suppose. I mean, obviously, I had no desire to do it, but ... I understood its sense of intimacy."

"That was pretty mature of you in high school."

"People tell me I was a mature kid. I guess I always tried to put things together in my head. When they made sense, it was like I had solved a puzzle or something. It was that way when I understood why my parents weren't getting along."

"That's a lot."

"Every family has stuff to deal with, I suppose."

We didn't move. We didn't say anything.

"Thank you," I eventually said.

"But I didn't do anything."

"Yes, you did."

"But I said I couldn't do it."

"You considered it for a second though."

"Longer than a second. For a couple of minutes, I talked myself into doing it. But I couldn't get past the fact that even if we called it `practice,' you'd be cheating on Donny. And I couldn't do that."

"I agree."

"But what really let me know it wasn't right was that what the two of us might figure out together — how to make it work — is something that two people in love should do. Figure it out together. You two need to do that."

"You're right."

I held him. I had so much emotion (and beer) swimming through me. I started to cry again.

"Hey," Corey softly said, turning toward me. "It'll be okay."

I expected a kiss to follow those words. And there was.

"I'm not crying about Donny."

"What is it?"

"That you even thought about trying to ... whatever ... to help me out. I don't deserve your friendship. I love you so much."

"Thanks. I feel the same." Corey surprisingly kissed me again. That double kiss took us to 87. "You smell like beer."

"Okay, fine. I'll go brush my teeth."

"It's not just that."

"I'm not showering."

 

—

 

The next night, our group of friends shared dinner, but we all felt a heavy workload. No one had any plans for the night. It was a hardcore study night.

Corey and I hadn't prepared a group dinner in several weeks. Corey said he wanted Zoey to be at the next one. We planned for the following Tuesday.

"How big? How many people?" Corey asked.

"I feel like we are kind of leaving people out."

"Well, we should do Ace, Geoff, Sam, Donny and Zoey. That's already seven. Forrest and Manny would be nine. It has been a while since Josh or Brady joined us."

"That's getting kind of big."

"It's not that I mind how many people, but we have to prepare a lot," Corey said.

"How about Brady? He has come a long way since last fall, but I hate to just let him drift. How about him. Ten."

"Okay. I'll figure out what can make a lot."

We texted invitations. All accepted.

I had noticed my roommate's eyes being very heavy in his final reading.

"I'm beat. It took me three times to read that last passage," he said.

He peed, brushed his teeth, stripped to his boxers and fell into bed before 10. I lowered the lighting so that the room was partially dark. Just my desk lamp was on. No name art, no nightlight. I had another twenty minutes (at least) on the assigned Psychology chapter. Before I was even halfway done, I heard the slightest snore from my roommate. He was out. It would be easy to have a private masturbation session later.

I felt prepared for a quiz the next day if the professor decided to throw one at us. I didn't want to wake Corey up, so I took my toothbrush down to the shower room. I peed. While brushing my teeth, a guy I had seen occasionally but didn't know stepped out of the shower. In the reflection, I could see his dick. It reminded me of Corey's. Not big, but he had a beautiful bush, at least in my opinion. Nice body.

Quietly, I undressed and turned on the nightlight. With the desk lamp dark, there was just enough light along the floor to find my bed with ease. I reached for the cum rag.

For some reason, my talk with Corey last night had calmed me about Donny's and my date Thursday night. Back when I first fucked him, we took it slow. Easy. I tried to make it pleasurable for him. Surely, he would do the same for me. He wasn't Roy. Somehow, we would make it work out. But even in my calm state, I didn't want to fail and do something to mess us up.

My hand reached into my briefs to feel my dick. I wasn't hard, but it loved to be touched at any time. Fondling. Feeling. I thought of Donny's cock. I really loved it. His hardness inside me was going to be a good thing. Hopefully. I would make sure.

I still couldn't believe Corey even considered practicing with me for even a second. I'd never ask him to do that — not in a million years.

How would we even initiate "practice." Would we kiss first to set a mood? Or would it just be body parts? Would he ask questions or analyze it like a geometry problem? I was confident it would have been a lot of talking. I'd want him to finger me first, just like I do Donny.

Then a fantasy started. I pictured Corey spreading my legs. I pictured him squirting lube on his fingers and probing my hole. He would ask me if it felt okay. I would tell him yes. He would ask if I was ready. I would tell him to put lube in my hole. He would.

My hole felt slick. His fingers had opened me up.

"I'm ready," I would say.

"I'm not sure how to do this exactly," he would say.

I would roll over and instruct him to do me from behind.

He would say, "I'd prefer to see you. Just in case I'm doing it wrong."

"Start this way."

I'd feel his erection touch my ass. His knees were between my legs. He would spread my cheeks apart and would position his hard-on.

"Go slow," I would say.

I'd feel him enter me.

"Are you okay?" he'd ask.

His cock size was perfect for me. "I'm okay. I'm ready for more."

Carefully he moved all the way in. He groaned. I groaned.

"It's good?"

"So good," I would say.

I would love listening to my best friend moan as he slid in and out of my hole.

"Keep going," I'd utter.

"It feels good for me. Does it for you?"

"Oh yeah, buddy. Fuck me. It does feel good. Fuck me."

Corey's arms would brace against mine. I'd feel his body above me. His bush would be on my ass. His chin would be on my shoulder blades.

"Fuck me more."

He would.

"Aiden, I ... I want to look at you."

"Okay."

I would turn over. I would lift my legs up, my hands spreading them apart. "I need you back inside me."

He would line up his dick and push in again. We would both groan.

"God, yes. Fuck me, Corey."

"Don't cuss," he would say.

He'd lean in. I'd look into his eyes. He would lock onto mine. We'd communicate just by staring into each other's gaze. His lips would hover above mine. We'd feel each other's breath pant our love for one another. I would kiss the tip of his nose as he groaned, pushing his dick into me.

"See?" he would say. "I knew you could do this. It feels good for you, right?"

"Fuck me. Yes. I can totally do this. Fuck me. Fuck me harder."

Corey would touch my forehead with his. Our noses would slightly bump into each other as we groaned louder and louder.

"Ohhhhh, yeah," he'd grunt. "Man, Aiden. I hope it feels as good for you as it does for me."

"Fuck me hard."

We both would moan louder. I'd grasp my cock and jerk it between us.

Corey would call out. "I'm close."

"Come in me," I'd say.

He'd begin to wail, and I'd reach up and put my hand behind his head and push our lips together. His orgasmic cry would pass from his throat through our sealed lips down my throat. His cock would pump spasm after spasm of cum into my waiting hole. My free hand would shove his ass, pushing his crotch into me harder.

Our lips would part so we could gasp for breath. I'd jerk my cock harder, even as he continued to fuck me. I would scream that I was about to come, and he would tell me, "Shoot."

Both of us would feel my cum hit our bellies. We'd both moan feeling its warmth.

His body would collapse on mine, unfortunately causing his dick to make my hole feel empty. Our lips would meet again. And we'd kiss, knowing my cum was sealing us together.

That did it. My briefs were pulled down. The cover was pulled down. I considered covering my erection with the towel, but I knew I wanted my building orgasm to shoot all over me. The first shot hit my chin. Yes! I tried to muffle my ecstasy so as not to wake Corey, but I still groaned. Cum was all over my chest, and I loved it. It was wonderful.

But then it was over.

Corey continued to lightly snore. He was still out.

As I wiped myself clean, I knew I could never tell him I had such a fantasy. He would not take it well. The more I dwelt on it, I didn't like it either.

I felt ashamed for thinking of Corey and not Donny.
I felt pain for Corey even thinking he should do that for me as a best friend.
I felt disappointed that even though nothing actually happened, it still felt like cheating.
I felt shocked that I would fantasize about my best friend/my soulmate that way.

But most of all, I felt whole.

 

—

 

"I saw a poster," Forrest said at dinner. Our Spring Break group was all together as well as Ace and Sam.

I realized he was looking directly at me. "Oh?"

"It was for an NDPrism gathering Friday night."

"Uh-huh."

"Can I come?

The table got quiet.

"YOU want to come to an LGBTQ event?" Donny asked.

"Is that not allowed?"

"Forrest, why would you want to do that?" I inquired.

"Yeah, you ain't gay," Ace said. He raised an eyebrow. "Or are ya?"

"No. Not gay."

"I don't get it," I said. "I mean, I think anyone can come. I'm sure there are just friends there, but ..."

"Remember the AA meeting during Spring Break?"

"Wait, you guys went to an AA meeting over Spring Break!?" Sam said in surprise. Manny and Geoff nodded to confirm it.

"Long story," Corey said.

"It ... it moved me. I put myself in those people's shoes. I thought this might do me some good too."

"Well, there aren't really `shares' or anything. It's very social."

"I get that, but ... if I want to get better, I think it could help."

"Wow. Well, okay. Sure. Come with Donny and me then. If you don't like it, then you can just leave."

"If I don't like it, it is probably more of a reason for me to stay."

"I know you talk about `getting better,' but this is the only Forrest I know, and I think you are a great guy," Donny said.

"You don't know all of me."

"I'll be very happy for you to join us," my boyfriend replied.

I heard my phone ding. "Oops. Text from Brady. He can't join us for dinner next week."

"Can Beth come?" Ace asked.

I could tell Corey was surprised by the request. Honestly, I was too. It wasn't like Ace to bring his outside friends to this group. He never introduced us to his jock friends.

"Uhh ... sure," Corey said, feeling put on the spot. "I guess that would make it to where Zoey wasn't the only girl."

I glanced at Geoff. His expression was unexpected. It looked like he had been stabbed. What was up with that?

 

—

 

Wednesday night.

I was enjoying a beer while Zoey and Corey met for a quick date. The two of us had worked our CCE shift before he left. I took advantage of the privacy and masturbated before I opened my homework.

I was contemplating a second beer when Corey came into the room at 10:20.

"Hey. How was the date."

He paused. "Interesting."

"That's an unusual description. Anything wrong?"

"No. It's fine."

Corey brushed his teeth. He didn't go pee. He didn't undress. He just flopped on his bed and faced the wall. Something was wrong.

I closed my laptop and went over and sat next to him. I touched his shoulder. "Something's up."

"Mmph," he grunted into his pillow.

Eventually he rolled over. "I'm not sure I can tell you."

I whacked him across the forehead with the back of my wrist.

"Hey!" he shouted.

"Hey nothing. We share everything. What's wrong. You can tell me."

"I'm not sure."

"You're the most important person in the world to me. Of course, you can tell me anything."

"Promise not to judge?"

I almost answered immediately, but I hesitated. Sometimes I was too quick with my opinions.

"I won't. What is it? What happened?"

"Promise? You swear?"

"I promise." He almost had me really concerned.

He scooted over in bed. I took that as an invitation to lie next to him. Did he not want to look at me when he told me? I was now worried.

"So. Interesting. What does that mean?"

"Zoey and I had a talk."

"Okay. About ...?"

"Expectations."

"Hers or yours?"

"Both, I guess."

I didn't know what to say. I just remained quiet. More than anything I wanted Corey to know I was there to listen.

"So. We had a nice time. We grabbed a milkshake. Once back on campus, we took a walk and ended up at the grotto. It was there that she took my hand and said `she wanted to talk.'"

"Aren't those words scary?"

`Yeah. But ... it was nice. She told me that she liked me a lot, and I said the same back. Zoey pointed out that we had been dating about three weeks and ... and she appreciated me not having put pressure on her."

"Pressure ... as in for sex?"

"Yeah. She told me most boys she'd been with in the past year had tried to get her into bed by the third date."

"Jerks."

"She's very sensitive about it. I told her I was okay with waiting because I had my own reservations about jumping into sex too. She was so relieved."

I rolled on my side and put my arm around him. "So ... what's the problem?"

"Me."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Same old me. Same old loser Corey Snow."

"I don't follow. You both wanted the same thing."

"I suppose. But ... there are times when I want to just feel normal and-"

"And what does normal mean to you?"

"Like everybody else."

"But everybody is different."

"I guess. Maybe. But ... as Zoey pointed out, most people have moved on to sex by our age. I'm not like most people."

"Bullshit. Just because ... what? Three or four guys want to take her to bed, you're different than the whole world?"

"I'd maybe feel better if I'd just lose my virginity and get that out of the way. I almost did with Patty. Perhaps I should have."

"Nope. I call bullshit on that too."

"Don't cuss."

"Whatever. Corey, you and I both know that you wouldn't feel all great about having fucked her. You would have hated yourself, particularly after discovering all the things about her. You would have regretted it and you know it."

"Probably. I just always feel ... weird."

"If you can't embrace who you are and how you feel, then at least look at it this way. No one should have to fit into a mold of someone else, particularly when you are probably better than the rest."

"I don't feel better. I feel left behind."

"You two are on the same page. That's a good thing."

"I guess." He was quiet.

I pressed in closer to his body. "Why did you think I would judge you?"

"You've been talking about making sure I get laid by the end of the school year. I figured you'd be disappointed the two of us have decided to wait."

"Forget me and the stupid things I say. It's just that I'm enjoying it right now ... and I want you to be able to enjoy it too. But it's not my place to decide anything for you. I just want you to be happy with whatever you decide."

"If I can ever figure that out. When you're in junior high, you want to hold hands to feel like the big kids. And then the big kids kiss, and you want to do that to feel more grown up. By college, a lot of people are sleeping together, and I just sort of feel like a kid trapped in junior high."

"When it's right for both of you, you'll know."

"What if I don't? Mom would prefer I waited until marriage like she and Dad did. But I also have two gay dads who ... probably do everything you and Donny do and more. I like being a person of faith, but I don't necessarily want to be missing out on what people are enjoying in their college years ... even if it's something I'm not sure I want."

"When you want it, when it is important to you — as a couple — then you'll find your way. And just because others are doing it doesn't mean it's easy. As you well know, I'm a wreck about tomorrow night."

"Follow the advice you've given me."

"I haven't given you any advice."

"Of course you have. When it's right, you'll know. When you want it as a couple, you'll make it happen. You love each other. Let that lead you. Not your fear."

My face nuzzled into his shoulder. "I hope so."

Corey stretched out his arm. I snuggled up to him, both of us fully dressed. He wrapped his arm around me.

"Thank you for listening," he said.

"I'm always here."

"You have no idea how important you are to me, Aiden."

I scrambled to my hands and knees and knelt over him.

"I don't know all the answers. I'm sorry, I don't, but I do know these three things. One, I am always here for you. Two, I love you. Three, it will be okay."

I kissed him lightly. Then I kissed him firmly.

I returned to his side. We held each other. We just breathed. I accidentally dozed off in his arms. He jostled me awake and we got ready for bed.

 

—

 

Thursday.

I woke up knowing that it was the day I was to be fucked. I was a bundle of nerves all day. I didn't listen too much during class. My brain was checking in and out.

I skipped lunch. I wanted my stomach to be empty so it wouldn't have the chance to be embarrassing later.

I had soup for dinner. Nothing solid. I didn't know if I needed to do that, but I admitted to myself that I didn't know anything.

I showered before the date to make sure my butt was squeaky clean. My pulse started to race again. I was getting nervous all over again.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I took a deep breath. For a moment, I didn't think, I just breathed. I finished buttoning my shirt, breathing. I brushed my hair, breathing. By the time I brushed my teeth, I felt calmer.

I looked at Corey's bed. If I got nervous, I would just think about being with Corey instead of Donny. I was comfortable around Corey. I would then know what to do.

The walk to Donny's hall was pleasant. I loved spring. I tried to hum a song, but I was a little too distracted to keep focus on that. Had the situation been the other way around, I'd be excited for us to get naked.

But it wasn't.

I knocked on his door. 7:22. I was early.

Donny opened the door. His big smile relaxed me. Entering the room, we kissed. Many times.

"You smell good," he said.

"I just showered."

"Mmm. Nice. That gives me more ideas."

It did? Did I need to be nervous about something else?? I knew we had the room to ourselves until 10. Chas told him that.

"What are your plans?" I asked, giving another kiss.

"I'm not sure. I don't want us to just rip off our clothes right away."

"Okay." I looked at the room and then back at my boyfriend. "How about a walk?"

"It is nice out."

I led him by the hand to his door. We continued to hold hands in the hallway. I knew this was big for Donny. He was rather shy as a freshman. He had really come into his own his sophomore year. I wasn't sure if I helped him along on that path, but the two of us were pretty open in public with our affection.

Outside, our fingers stayed locked. In the distance, we heard one guy yell "fags!" but we shook it off. Our hands let go so that we could walk with our arms around each other. I liked it. I was calm.

The last glimmer of twilight had long been gone by the time we got to the grotto. We sat for a moment to kiss some more.

"Tell me about your day," he asked.

"You don't want to know."

"Uh oh. What happened?"

"Nothing. Nothing like that. I was ... I was just fixated on ... what we were going to do tonight. I guess I was nervous all day."

"No. Oh, babe. Don't be nervous. If you don't want to do this, we don't have to. It's okay."

"No. I don't want to disappoint you. I want to ... I want to be good at being a gay boyfriend."

"But you are still worried that it will turn out like your experience with Roy, aren't you?"

I had mentioned my September night with Roy a couple of times to Donny, but it was only briefly in conversation. Clearly, it was enough to make an impression on him. I put my head on his shoulder.

"I am. I love you. I want to be the best boyfriend for you. I just worry I'm going to mess things up."

"Well, a) you won't, and b) there is more to US than just fucking."

I kissed him and smiled. "Let's go back to your room."

8:11. We stood next to Donny's bed. My hands were up his T-shirt. His hands were unbuttoning my shirt. Our lips were locked. He and I didn't do a lot with our tongues, but tonight they found each other and rubbed together as if they were our hard cocks. He pulled open my shirt. I pulled his T-shirt over his head. Before he could pull his arm down, I buried my nose in his armpit. I could detect his deodorant from the morning. I continued to push my face into his underarm. My lips pulled on the hair there.

Donny panted. "Aiden." His hand gently pushed my face into his body further. I licked his armpit. I didn't like feeling the texture of his deodorant on his skin. The taste wasn't great either. But I liked my teeth tugging on it. It made Donny gasp.

He pulled the shirt from my shoulders. I moved my mouth to his neck. I licked it with a wet, sloppy tongue. He hummed as I tasted his skin.

I moved back to his lips. My hands held his head, and we pressed our lips together so forcefully. It was surprising it didn't hurt, we were pressing so hard. Maybe it did, and we were just so hot for each other that we didn't care.

At that point we were panting and gasping. Air wasn't flowing as it normally should. We didn't care. Breathing became secondary to the passion of our making out.

"I want you so bad, babe," Donny said to me.

He fumbled with my belt until he got it loose. He ripped it from the belt loops, almost cracking it like a whip. His fingers scrambled to unfasten my fly. I continued to hold his face while I was being disrobed. My lips needed to be on his. I groaned as I was being undressed.

I felt my jeans and briefs ripped down over my ass and hips. Donny dropped to his knees and took my hard cock into his mouth.

"Ohhhh, yeah!" I said way too loud for us being indoors.

With some difficulty, I managed to get completely out of my clothes without my erection leaving his mouth.

I pulled him up so that I could do the same to him. I unbuttoned his jeans and unzipped them. Before pulling them down, I rubbed his cock, bulging in the fabric of his clothing.

Donny grunted in pleasure.

Then my hands slipped inside his clothes and spread them so that they could fall down his legs. Both of us were naked except for our white socks. We left them on.

I kissed him once more, and then pushed him back on his bed. He laughed and smiled.

"Before you fuck me, I need to taste that cock." Did that sound hot and sexy or completely stupid?

"Go for it," he smiled.

He opened his legs so that I could kneel between them. We had been in this position many times during Spring Break, but usually when I was about to enter him. I leaned down to kiss his neck again. My mouth traveled down his chest. I took a moment to rub my nose through the chest hair he had between his pecs. I inhaled him down through that trail of hair to his bush. I liked smashing my face into that mound of hair. Then my nose rubbed itself along the length of his thick cock. Then I swallowed him.

I loved his dick in my mouth, but I started thinking of how big it seemed and it would soon be in my hole. How could it possibly fit?

I thought about Corey's cock and how it would be the right fit. It was just a penis. All penises should work. But Roy's didn't. Donny wasn't quite as big, but he was thicker than me. My heart beat faster.

"Don't get me too close baby. I need to fuck you. I need to fuck you so bad."

Damn. It was time. It was here. I tried to picture Corey telling me it would be okay. I envisioned him reaching to me to hold my hand as Donny fucked me.

Donny left the bed. He got a towel and the lube.

He moved me to my side to lay the towel on the bed. I wasn't sure if it was up to me on how I was to position my body. We had done this for a month in reversed roles. How had I forgotten everything?!

I lay on my belly. It seemed the safest. Donny's lips pressed against my ass cheeks. "Mmm. You do smell good."

"My nicest shower gel, just for you, babe," I smiled into his pillow.

"I'm trying this," he said.

Before I could ask "what?" I felt his hands spread my cheeks apart. His lips blew hot breath into my crack. He pulled me apart farther and I knew it was his face pressing into my butt. His tongue touched the pucker of my ass, the sentry, the barricade, the guardian. Donny started licking.

"Wow," I whispered. "That's ... nice."

"Keep going then?"

"Please."

My boyfriend pressed further, licking, sucking, trying to delve deeper, pulling me apart as much as he could. I never thought my hole being licked would be so wonderful, but it was. I had seen rimming on porn, but I thought it was made up just for porn. I never heard anybody really speak of it. I liked it.

"I love you, Aiden," he whispered above my ass. "I need you so bad."

"I'm nervous, Donny."

"Hey. Baby, baby, baby." He moved his body on top of mine. I felt the lubed firmness of his erection rest inside my crack. His chest pressed to my back. He kissed my neck, my earlobe, my cheek. "It's all fine."

It wasn't fine. My heart raced. This was it. This was the very moment I was going to end our relationship.

"Let's take this slowly," he said. "Remember the first time you did me? That's the right way to do it."

I heard the bottle of lube snap open again. Donny let it drip into my ass. "Ooo. Cold."

"A little," he giggled.

"Go slow."

His finger worked the lube to my hole. "Just a little at a time."

I squeezed Donny's pillow and buried my face into it when I felt his finger push into my insides. For a split second, it was déjà vu of Roy pushing inside me. But this didn't hurt. It just felt awkward. Different. Unsure.

Donny squirmed the finger around my hole. I felt probed. But I realized I didn't hurt. I squeezed the pillow harder, envisioning Corey's hand below, holding my fingers, telling me it was going to be okay.

Another drop of lube and two fingers went in. My body tensed a bit. It seemed too much.

"Breathe," he said.

I breathed. In. Out. Inhale. Exhale. I relaxed my hole. He moved his fingers in and out like he was fucking me.

"Let's get you opened up," he said, as lovingly and tenderly as he could.

The squirming inside my passage didn't hurt. Once I realized how sensitive and delicate that area was, it seemed kind of pleasurable.

"Think you're ready?"

No. Absolutely not. I would never be ready. I exhaled. "Okay."

I heard him rip open a package. I could tell by the slight movement behind me that he was rolling a condom on his dick.

"Huh. That's the first time I've worn one. It feels ... unusual."

"I know."

"We're both safe. Do we really need them?"

"Ace would beat me up if I didn't use one."

"You talk about your sex life with Ace?"

"No. Not really. He's kind of a like a big brother making sure we take care of ourselves."

I detected a new scent of coconut, then I heard the bottle close. Again.

Donny moved his body close to mine again. I felt his hands press into the bed next to my shoulder. His dick pressed into my crack near my hole. Donny missed. His erection slipped out.

"Dang."

He put it back and slightly pressed into my hole. A millimeter at a time, he moved it in me. It was slow. Finally, he was about an inch in and my body stiffened. I didn't like it. I thought of Roy. I thought of pain.

"Relax," he softly instructed. "Breathe. Just accept it. Accept me inside you."

I inhaled deeply. I breathed out. My hands gripped together under the pillow. I stopped thinking of Roy and started thinking of Corey, holding my hand, telling me it would be okay.

Donny slowly ... very slowly ... kept pushing in. It felt invasive. His cock didn't belong. Nothing belonged inside me. It was an intruder! My body was uncomfortable. Donny stayed still. Then I realized it felt strange, but it didn't hurt. It was just uncomfortable.

"Go in more."

"You're fine?"

"I am."

Donny moved all the way in.

"Ungh!"

"Are you okay?" he asked, worried.

"Yeah," I grunted.

My lover began to move his cock in and out.

My lover began to fuck me.

Fuck.

ME!

His thick cock was fucking me.

"Ohhh, Donny."

"Aiden, this feels good. It's so, so ... I love you."

"I love you too. Fuck me."

Donny pushed into me deeply and moaned. The next-door residents were bound to hear him. He grunted and groaned. I moaned a little too, beginning to really enjoy his hardness filling me inside.

I'd let him fuck me from behind, but I knew I wanted to watch him. I wanted to stare into his eyes as he fucked me, just like I loved doing when I was fucking him. I was going to ask if we could change positions.

He pushed harder.

"Oh. Ohh. Damn. OOOhhhh. Ungh. Ungh. Ungh. Ungh. Ungh."

Donny collapsed on me.

"Fuck," he groaned.

"You came."

"I did. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. That's kind of the point."

I felt him lift his body off of me and then his weight was taken from the bed. I turned over. He pulled the condom off his dick, grabbed a tissue to wipe remaining drops and then wrapped the condom inside it and tossed it in the trash can. Donny placed both his hands on his desk. He looked down. For a long time, he was immobile. Stiff arms and bowed head. He sighed deeply.

"Come back to bed," I coaxed.

Donny turned away from me.

At the beginning of the year, an early encounter of ours had him coming quickly in his jeans. He ghosted me after that. I wasn't going to let that happen again.

"Babe. Join me. Come back to me."

Like a punished child, he slowly walked back to the bed with his head hung low.

Dropping next to me, he moaned, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for anything. It felt okay for me."

"Yeah, for the one minute I lasted."

"I liked it."

"I wanted to last for a while. I wanted to really make love to you."

"Did it feel good?"

"Of course. Orgasms kind of do."

"Did you like being inside me?"

"Very much so."

"Do you love me?"

"Of course, I do."

"Then all is fine. That's all the things we wanted."

"Other than doing it longer."

"I haven't come yet. We're still going to have fun." I winked at him.

"True."

"Do you like my cock?"

"I so love your cock."

"Show me then."

Donny smiled. He smashed his face into my crotch, inhaling the lingering tropical scent left from my shower earlier. Once his mouth started suckling my balls, my dick became fully erect again. It felt hard and long and huge ... and all his. The flesh of my ball sac was tugged between his teeth. I moaned at the playfulness. He licked them and tasted them and sucked on them and snacked on them. I felt his tongue completely lick around my entire testicles.

"Ohhh, baby, pleeeease suck me."

He moved forward but paused to find a pubic hair stuck on his tongue. It frustrated him for a second, which made me smile. Then his mouth plunged on my pole.

"Uuuunnngh," I groaned. "Yeaaah."

Donny slowly moved up and down my shaft with a sealed, wet grip of lips. Slow. Wet. Up. Down.

As he sucked, I gently lifted my hips to fuck his throat. My hands combed through his hair, enjoying the bob of his head above my crotch. My hands continued to finger through his soft brown locks. Whatever product he used to style his hair, it remained soft to the touch and not stiff and crunchy.

"It feels nice, babe," I moaned. "I love how you suck me."

One of his hands moved under my ass to grip a cheek. The other was holding his body up. I reached for it to tenderly caress it up and down, enjoying the light hair on his arm.

I groaned in the oral service. I didn't think it could be heard through the walls, but if anyone had heard us previously and had their ears to the wall, they could have heard me. But who would do that?

I would. I would totally listen to Ace have sex or Geoff masturbate.

Donny was getting me close, and I didn't want to finish yet.

"Kiss me, honey," I requested.

My lover took his mouth off my cock. He moved up and our lips met. Whatever he might have been feeling a few minutes earlier, he was hot and passionate again. Our lips grafted together; our tongues wrestled.

"I love you, Aiden," he gasped.

I gripped his ass in my clutches. "Me too. I love you, Donny."

I pushed his penis into mine. My finger teased his hole. My boyfriend groaned. "Next time," he whispered.

He returned to my cock. This time, he swallowed me, but two fingers went up my butt. He probed and sucked at the same time. I was doubly stimulated.

"Man!" I called out.

His fingers continued to fuck me. His mouth continued to suck me.

"So good," I grunted, almost not forming words. "It feels soooooooooooo good."

He hummed into my cock, acknowledging my gratitude.

My ass writhed around his fingers. My erection pushed into his throat.

I wasn't sure why, but I didn't want to come inside his mouth. I wanted to feel it all over me.

"Baby, I need you. I need to suck your cock."

"But ... it isn't super hard anymore," he said, taking his mouth off my rod.

"It's close enough. I want it. I need it."

"Okay."

He scrambled up to me and let his dick, still close to four inches dangle above my face. My hand guided it into my mouth. Gently, he fucked my throat with the length and girth he had.

My hand grabbed my dick and started jerking it.

Donny lightly moaned at my blowjob. I groaned into his dick. It all felt spectacular.

It pleased me hearing him grunt beautiful noises as I sucked on his not-quite-erect erection. I loved everything about his cock. I could suck it all day any day. I wasn't positive, but it felt like it was getting harder again.

I fingered my hole with one hand. My other fiercely jerked my hard-on.

I could feel it building. My cock was wired. It was super-sonic.

Donny's cock muffled my scream, but I cried out into his flesh. Cum erupted. I felt the first blast land after being shot a hundred feet into the air. I kept coming. Donny groaned knowing I was in orgasm while he continued to be sucked. I all but gave off sparks in my gyrating climax.

And then the orgasm ended. I was still. Donny pulled his dick from my face.

"That's a lot of cum," he said.

"I guess it's what you do to me," I said with a smile.

"I wish I could take credit, but I'm not the MVP tonight."

I scooted over so that he could lie next to me.

His hip touched mine. Our warm flesh felt good pressed into each other. We interlocked our fingers. For a moment, we were content to just lay peacefully, quietly, lost in the bliss of good sex.

"Corey was right," I said.

"How's that?"

"He knew I was nervous about tonight. You know, what you wanted to do."

"And was terrible at."

"Oh stop. I enjoyed it."

"For the nanosecond I could do it."

"But I think that's what makes it special."

"How on earth do you come to that conclusion?"

"Corey said that figuring things out together is part of the beauty of being in love. I was worried about not being able to do it at all. But you made it easy for me. I liked you inside me. If you were going away to another country and this was the only night we could make love, then ... yeah, I'd love a thirty-minute fuckfest. But ... this was sweet. Us. Figuring things out."

"Thanks for not being disappointed."

"Not in the least."

"Even if I underperformed, all in all, tonight was pretty good."

"It was indeed."

I let go and reached over to hold his cock. "Love this."

He leaned up to kiss me. "Love you."

His tongue touched my tongue. Then his mouth kissed my chin. Then my neck. Then licked cum off my chest. His tongue traveled down through more cum until he reached my penis. It was rigid, but I liked its length still. He licked the tip, getting a final drop of cum off. Then my organ was lovingly swallowed.

I felt tasted.

"I guess we should clean you up."

"I suppose. It all reminds me of how much I love being with you."

Donny ran a washcloth under warm water. He also grabbed a dry hand towel. He wrangled the washcloth around my dick first. I giggled. Then he wiped the results of my orgasm from my torso and chest. A dry towel followed.

We kissed for a few more minutes as my skin dried.

"You seem to talk about your sex life with your friends a lot."

"Not really," I said. "Mainly Corey. He and I can tell each other anything. We share everything."

"Have you ever had sex?"

"Not really. I gave him a blowjob the night he broke up with Patty. But ... he's straight, unfortunately."

"Hm."

"Do you and Chas talk about stuff?"

"Ohhhhh no. I think he's more on the religious side. I mean ... he's never given me one iota of grief about being gay. But at the same time, I don't know if he has had sex this year. I've given him the room a time or two, but I don't know if he and the girl just made out or if they went all the way."

"Think he'd mind if I stayed the night?"

"Probably not."

"Actually, do YOU mind if I stay the night?"

Donny pressed his lips to mine. "I'd love it."

"I'll let Corey know."

I reached for my phone off Donny's desk. "Staying here tonight. All is good," I texted. He replied with a thumbs-up emoji.

With him having the room to himself, I knew he would take full advantage of it.

It was 9:25.

"We have over a half hour. Want to try again?" I asked.

"Nah. I know my dick would need at least an hour to be ready for another round."

Mine wouldn't, but I kept that to myself.

Donny rolled over to me. "But I wouldn't mind spending that time touching you and holding you."

We kissed. "Sounds like a plan."

We didn't say much for the next twenty minutes. There was touching. There was some mild kissing. There was some groping.

At 9:45, Donny stood and put his underwear and T-shirt back on. He noticed me not moving. I wanted to remain naked.

"Okay then, when Chas gets back, you have to at least cover up."

"Understood."

He folded my clothes at the foot of the bed.

"Actually, I should pee."

I returned and kept the briefs on but refolded the shirt.

At 10:05, the door opened, but Chas knocked on it at the same time. "Is it safe to come in?"

"Yes, you're fine," Donny said.

"Hi Chas."

"Hi, Aiden."

We asked how his night was. He said he had a nice date — simple but enjoyable. We said the same, although we knew ours was way hotter than that.

"Is it okay if Aiden stays over?"

"As long as he can put up with my snoring." He looked directly at me. "I've been told I snore. Donny has ear plugs if you need them."

"I'm sure I'll be fine."

Chas wasn't lying. At 11:07, snoring had escalated to a notable volume.

"Told ya."

I reached for his cock, slipping my hand below the waistband. Much to my surprise, Donny slipped out of his underwear. I did the same. We rolled into each other's arms and kissed. My hand was in his hair; his hand was on my ass. Our dicks stiffened as we pressed them together.

"I wish you could fuck me again right now," I whispered into his ear.

"We are NOT doing that in my room," he said. "We barely got away with it in your room with Corey there."

I snickered. "He saw us."

"No. Please tell me you're kidding," he whispered.

"Nope. But it was dark. He just knew we were doing it."

"Gawd."

I kissed him. Soon we fell asleep holding each other.

 

—

 

Friday.

Zoey and Beth joined our group for dinner in the dining hall. Geoff didn't seem to like Beth. I wasn't sure why. Sam was out on a date of his own.

Manny looked thinner than ever. I was so proud of his determination. He and Forrest had a private conversation going on.

Following dinner, Donny, Forrest and I walked to the evening's event. The NDPrism social started at 7:30. It was partially indoors and outdoors.

"You're sure you want to do this?" I asked Forrest as we walked up.

"I am. I think it will be good for me."

There looked to be a good crowd that evening. It was a mix of genders and races, but as one might expect, there were more white males than anything else. It pleased me that the ratio wasn't overpoweringly so. Women could easily find others to talk to.

I saw Roy across the patio. I used to cringe when I saw him. Now that Donny had actually showed me how to enjoy that type of sex, I just looked at him with pity. Maybe he liked his life of moving from dick to dick, but I liked what Donny and I had.

Brady joined us. He didn't know Forrest well, but they had met. I tried to initiate conversation that would help them to get to know each other better.

Brady introduced us to one of his friends he had met at an earlier event, who happened to be passing by.

"Ford, this is Donny, Forrest and Aiden. Guys, this is Ford."

We all shook hands, but Ford seemed fixated on Forrest.

"Huh. I thought you were ... you look like someone who ... oh well, you're here. It couldn't be you."

"What?" Brady asked.

"I thought he was this guy who caused a problem in one of the dorms over homophobic shit."

Forrest hung his head.

"I must be mistaken. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. Never mind. I hate to run, but I'm meeting my boyfriend. I see him over there. It was nice to meet you all."

Ford walked away. Forrest slowly lifted his head. "Great."

"Things take time," I said. "You've changed."

"Have I?"

"Would Slater have been caught dead at an LGBTQ event?"

"No. I suppose not."

"Can I ask why you're here?" Brady inquired. "My gaydar isn't going off on you."

"Is that really a thing?" Forrest asked.

The rest of us laughed.

"Sometimes you pick up on cues and things. There are hints you notice that make people wonder. It's not a science. Certainly not ESP."

"Well," Forrest started. "What that guy, Ford, said. I WAS that jerk. It's April, and I'm still trying to wrestle with my New Year's resolution to be nicer. And-"

"You are nice," Donny said.

"To you."

"To everybody," he countered.

"I'm glad you see me that way. I don't. But, as I was saying, if I want to get better, I need to be around people who are different than me. I need to see them for who they are, get to know them, accept them."

"My, how admirable," Brady said.

"It's just a step, that's all."

"Well, now that you're here, what do you think?" I asked.

"I haven't really done anything yet."

"Well, look around. You see a few guys holding hands. Those two there have their arms around each other. Are you okay with that? Are you comfortable with being here?"

Forrest looked at all the people I pointed out. Each couple seemed to be happy and smiling as they engaged in conversation.

"They seem nice. It's fine." Two guys kissed. "There. That ... doesn't really bother me. I don't feel any desire to make fun of them."

"Voila! Progress," I said.

Forrest turned to me. "You made that possible."

"How?" Donny asked.

"When I asked Aiden for my forgiveness, he accepted my apology. At the time, I really was disgusted knowing he was gay, but I was a total outcast, and I knew I had to do something. I had learned a bit about it not being a choice since I bullied Aiden verbally. He had no reason to forgive me. I remember the first time he hugged me; it was like concrete bricks fell off me."

Interesting. I couldn't even remember the first time we hugged. How sweet that it made an impact on him.

"I just thought Aiden was a nice person at that point. More than nice. He was great. And ... I wasn't. I didn't have any redeeming qualities. I was an asshole to the nth degree."

"Well, I didn't know you then, but you had one good quality — you're cute."

Forrest laughed, then blushed. "Whatever."

I gave him a friendly nudge with my shoulder.

"Maybe that's when I started seeing gay people as people and not as fags. Listening to my brothers talk at Christmas, I just went down a dark hole. I saw myself, truly as myself. I hated myself. I didn't want to be there with my family, but I knew I was hated at school too. I was not in a good place."

"Don't go there," I said. "Look where you are now. You are surrounded by friends."

"Some." Forrest looked down. "You saved my life."

"Do we gross you out?" Donny asked, with a slight hint of humor.

"No. If I'm honest, I can't say that I get it. But now, just watching you two, it makes me happy. I see how much joy you bring to each other."

Donny and I smiled at each other, then gave a quick kiss.

"See. That doesn't bother me. I know you two are happy. I've accepted that ... even though I don't get ... all the ... body parts ... thing."

We giggled.

"They have beverages," Brady said. "Everyone want a Coke?"

We nodded, and Brady was off to fetch drinks.

A boy we didn't know walked up to Forrest.

"Hi, I'm Caven."

"Forrest." They shook hands.

"I haven't seen you at an event before. I thought I'd say `hi.'" Caven smiled.

Forrest's weight shifted uncomfortably.

"I don't mean to be forward," Caven said. "But ... I find you very handsome."

You didn't have to be my Psychology professor to know that Forrest panicked. He blushed and stiffened and went silent. He didn't know what to do.

"Sorry, Caven, but Forrest is unavailable," Donny said, putting his arms around Forrest.

"Oh." Caven looked at Donny and me. "I thought you two..."

"We are," I said. I put my arm around Forrest. "But Forrest isn't available. We're sorry."

Caven looked at the three of us, analyzing and picturing and questioning.

"All right, fellas. Well, you three have fun."

When Brady came back, the three of us were still in hysterics.

"Clearly, I missed something."

"I got hit on," Forrest said. "But my boyfriends rescued me."

"Plural?" Brady handed out the sodas. "Well, if a three-way is involved, you better at least let me watch.

Hysterics returned.

Josh found us. He, too, didn't know Forrest well, but after a few minutes, everyone was comfortable. We were having a good time.

Josh waved to a friend. "Everyone, this is Charlie." Josh introduced each of us.

Charlie was cute. He was a little over six feet tall and had a dark moustache and goatee. Josh told us that he and Charlie had been a couple for two or three months the year before.

A girl walked up to Charlie and handed him a drink.

"This is my girlfriend, Dana."

A couple of us tilted our heads. Girlfriend?

"I'm bi," Charlie clarified.

"It doesn't make a difference," Brady said. "All are welcome."

Forrest weakly raised his hand. "Like me."

"Charlie is a musician," Josh said. "You should hear him play guitar. He has a beautiful voice too."

"Ohh, whatever," Charlie said, sheepishly bowing his head.

"My roommate is a musician too. He isn't taking any classes or anything, but Corey is great with keyboards. He has a beautiful voice too. He's awesome."

"Aiden is quite taken with his roommate," Donny said.

"I'd love for you to meet him one day. You two could collaborate."

"Perhaps," Charlie said.

Forrest pulled me aside. "Thanks for bringing me."

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

"I am. For a moment, I thought, `I am the only straight guy here.' I felt sort of on the outside. Different. Then it hit me, you had to go through that your whole life. A lot. It makes me appreciate you a lot more. All these people. It was good that I came."

I hugged Forrest. I noticed Donny looking. I gave him a he-needed-a-hug look. Donny smiled and nodded.

"I'm sorry," Forrest softly said to my shoulder.

"What for?"

"For me being asshole Slater."

"I'm not."

"Why do you say that?"

"If not, the two of us wouldn't be hugging right now."

 

—

 

Dinner night.

Instead of anyone contributing money, everybody agreed to bring something. Zoey offered to make a cake. Sam was bringing ice cream for it. Beth was going to bring a pasta salad from her dorm. Ace said he couldn't make anything, so he went out to get some artisan breads. Manny was making a green salad. Donny wanted to make a hashbrown casserole from his mother's recipe. Forrest was bringing in two gallons of iced tea. Geoff was going to buy the green beans. Corey and I were making the main dish.

"That smells great," said Zoey.

"Tarragon chicken," Corey said. "Aiden diced fresh tarragon and then stirred in Dijon mustard, garlic, olive oil and heavy cream."

"It called for a cup of dry white wine, so we had to sneak that in," I said.

Zoey giggled.

Over the course of the dinner, I had determined it was our best effort yet. I wasn't sure why I felt that way. Was it because no one paid; we all contributed? Was it because it was our biggest dinner? Was it just the simple fact I was surrounded by so many friends? Was it because I had my boyfriend next to me and Forrest felt right at home? Maybe it was none of these or all of them. I looked at all the smiles. Everyone was happy.

Except Geoff.

Curiously, he seemed somewhat removed at the end of the table. He wasn't engaged with the group. He just ate.

It was amusing to see Corey and Zoey just swoon over each other. I felt confident I was just like her two years ago, longing for Corey to be my boyfriend. I hadn't spent much time with them as a couple, but they seemed to be a good fit. I was happy a lot of Corey's fears and anxieties were put to bed with Zoey, although I did feel he still deserved the joys of sexual pleasure. But it wasn't my decision. It was his.

As we did the dishes, I felt a little chauvinistic since Beth and Zoey were doing the bulk of the cleaning. Corey and I tried to be involved too, but actually, everyone was. Cleaning the table, drying and putting away, packaging leftovers. Some of us had poured a cup of coffee following dinner. That was Manny's dessert. He put those cups away.

"Geoff was acting kind of funny tonight," Corey said.

"Yeah. I thought the same thing," I replied. "I wonder what's up."

Beth told each of us how much she enjoyed dinner and that everything was delicious. She grabbed Ace's hand, and the two of them walked off.

Corey and I walked over to Geoff. "Is anything wrong?" I asked.

"Why?"

"Because you look like your dog got run over," Corey said.

Geoff sighed. "When we decided to invite Beth, I ... I don't know. I didn't want her here."

"You're not jealous of Beth, are you?" I asked.

Geoff paused. "Not really. I mean, maybe deep down, I ... yeah, I'd love to do it with Ace, but that isn't it."

"So...?"

"She is just a ... symbol ... of how ... messed up I am. She's perfectly fine. Nice. Pretty. But..."

"How on earth does she symbolize any of your problems?" Corey asked.

"I saw the two of them having sex." Geoff ran his fingers through his hair in an anguished gesture. "And I ... I wanted to keep watching. I liked seeing his dick shoved into her pussy. I liked watching! How creepy is that!?"

"I could probably watch his dick too," I said.

"Perv," Corey said. I whacked him on the arm.

"Exactly."

"I didn't mean that toward you, Geoff," Corey quickly sputtered, knowing he had made an error in judgement with his snark.

"But you're right. I want to watch him have sex; I want to have sex with him. He asked me if he could `have the room' for a while. So now ... now, all I can do is picture them up there. Naked. Screwing." Geoff groaned. "God, I'm a mess."

"No," Corey rebutted. "You know you have an issue, and you are confronting it. Remember the AA meeting on Spring Break?"

"Yeah."

"Those people were dealing with that addiction. I know Dad does. But they don't let it consume them. And you're not. Sure, right now, you are thinking about it, but you've gone three months without looking at ..."

"Porn."

"Right. So that's huge. You have stayed strong and not slept with any girls. So ... cut yourself a little slack. Just stay on top of it. Just now, Ace and Beth are standing right in front of you. Or were. That's just a temporary blip."

I hugged Geoff. I hoped Corey was right. But what if he wasn't? I didn't want Geoff to spiral like Forrest did over the holidays. Geoff squeezed me hard back. I kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you guys," Geoff said.

Zoey asked Corey if they could go walk for a while. After the talk with Geoff, I hated to be another such couple, but I knew Donny and I could have the room to ourselves for a short while.

Just as we began to say our goodbye, Sam asked what to do with the ice cream since no one had a freezer in their room. Geoff, Sam and Forrest each grabbed a spoon and started passing the carton back and forth. It was adorable. Manny said, "Good night," and excused himself.

A few minutes later, the carton was only a quarter full.

Donny's erection was in my mouth.

A few minutes after that, the first spoon hit the bottom.

Cum was exploding in my throat.

A few minutes after that, the last remaining bits of frozen deliciousness were being scraped from the carton.

I (barely) heard Beth squeal through the wall. I shot my load on Donny's chest as he grabbed my butt cheeks.

As I wiped my cum from my lover's chest, we both heard Ace experience his orgasm. We smiled. At the same time, I felt like Geoff did and thought it would be fun to watch him come. Then, Corey's voice spoke in my head. "Perv."

And the ice cream carton was thrown away, or so I timed in my head.

 

—

 

 

"What's this party again?" I asked.

"I told you at the Prism event," Donny said. "Some gay seniors have a house in town for a night. Well, South Bend. We're invited."

"How many?"

"I don't know, but I got the impression at least twenty, but I'm not sure."

"And why were we invited?"

"Because we are gay and cute??? Everyone is expected to pitch in twenty bucks for beer and pizza ... but it's a night out with gay guys. How fun!"

I pictured it. A house full of gay men. It did sound like fun. Saturday night.

"There's a hot tub too."

That made it sound even cooler.

After Donny left, Corey came back from being with Zoey.

"Donny's gone? Did you guys have enough private time?"

"I guess. We didn't do anything in terms of ... that. We hardly kissed. We have something special Saturday night."

"What?"

"A party of some kind. Gay guys."

"Well ... that should be fun for you two."

"I think." I sighed. "But something's worrying me."

"What?"

"My grades!! Donny and I have been spending so much time together. A burger here, a shake there, making out when we can. I've done sort of crappy on my last two quizzes. Tests haven't suffered yet. I've been buckling down for them, but the day-to-day stuff is slipping. That's going to add up if I don't watch it."

"Have you told him this?"

"No. I don't want him to feel bad."

"Aiden, it's your grades. He'll understand. He may be in the same boat. It's not like a little space is going to drive you apart."

"You and Zoey seem to be seeing each other just as much."

"Hmm. You're right. I'll ask her."

Of course, Corey's grades would never suffer. Everything comes so easy for him.

A soft rap came to our door. It was Geoff. We welcomed him in.

"Another fifty is in the envelope."

"Congrats," I said. "You're killing it."

"I'm not so sure. I started talking to a counselor this week."

We sat down. "Oh," Corey and I said.

"Yeah."

"And ... how do you feel about it?" Corey asked.

"He's nice. I think he understands."

"Well, he can certainly offer more than we can," I observed.

"I'm proud of you," Corey said. "Those decisions aren't easy."

"The first step is the hard one. I don't mind going back. I like being able to talk about stuff and not burden you guys."

"Hey, you are not a burden. We are always here for you."

"Thanks." Geoff took a breath. "The good news is that he feels my `God-provides-a-way' times to myself are healthy."

"You said, `to myself.' I take it everything is ... solo?"

"Yeah. Sam and I haven't done it together in weeks."

Corey shifted his weight. For some reason, I thought he was aware that sometimes Geoff masturbated with a friend.

"Anyway, I wanted you guys to know. I've told Ace too."

"Proud of you, man," I said.

"We love you, Geoff."

"Love you guys too."

Geoff meekly walked to the door. It was not a walk of someone who was proud of himself. I felt for him.

 

—

 

Saturday.

The four of us had dinner in the dining hall each night, but that's all the free time we committed to each other for a week. We agreed studies came first. With the dedication to studies, Corey and I stopped to have one jack-off session in the middle of the week, but we stayed in our own beds.

Last night, we got our weekend homework done. That allowed us the weekend for some free time. Our shift at the CCE was the only commitment. Forrest's car needed work, so I dropped him off one afternoon, but that was about all the contact with friends we had for the week. I felt good about my studies, but I missed them. They were important to my daily life, so I felt a little something was missing.

But night had fallen. It was now time to enjoy the company of our boyfriend and girlfriend.

Donny was driving. I entered the address in my phone. We were expected to arrive around 8:30.

It was a two-story house. It was in the country, so we weren't clogging parking on the streets. The driveway was long but not long enough for as many cars that were arriving. Some guy was directing us to back in and not be one behind the other, but side to side. Others were told to come out and do the same. This made room for about three more cars.

For late mid-April, the weather had been mild. The sunny day in the 60s dropped into the mid-50s at nightfall, but the air was still, so there was no wind chill to speak of.

"Hi, I'm Nate," the host said, as we walked up the steps of the front porch. "Welcome. I'll be collecting ..."

We each had our twenty ready.

"Thank you. Drinks are inside. All kinds. Kegs are on the back patio. Pizza will arrive around 10. Make yourself at home, but we have two rules."

Donny and I perked up at that.

"There is a house on the backside of the trees in the backyard. Do not get loud. If you are outside, use a regular voice. We have underage people here..." Nate stopped to wink at us. "... so we don't want ANY cops showing up."

"And the other rule?"

"If a bedroom door is closed, don't open it."

"Ah," I said.

I wasn't sure what to think of that last rule. This was different than parties I had gone to. Drinking, sure. I had never been to a party where people were having sex while others were there. I assumed that was what he was talking about.

"Hmm. That's ... different," Donny said.

"Yeah. I'm slightly uncomfortable, but ... hey, we're in college. We're old enough to be at such parties. We don't have to do anything we don't want to do." I whirled and grabbed his wrist. "Do we?"

Donny chuckled. "No, I don't think you are forced to do anything."

"Are there drugs here?"

"I have no idea."

I didn't know how I felt about that. I had tried pot in high school. It wasn't me, or at least in my college life. I supposed it didn't bother me if others did it. I hoped nothing heavier would be done. The fact that Notre Dame was a Catholic school didn't really mean that no one would experiment with anything. I was officially uncomfortable, but I tried to shake it off. Perhaps I was just letting things run away with me.

Donny and I each got a beer.

I liked the music being played. It was apparent that it was okay for there to be higher volume inside the house as long as we didn't take it outside.

At 9:10, a bottle fell off the counter and broke in two. Some guys cheered. Nate did not. He stopped the music.

"Third rule!" he announced. "This place is a rental, so I will have to cough up any cleaning fee. Do not break anything or ruin anything. I will find you to pay me back."

Everyone laughed, and the music resumed.

Donny and I sang along to an old Prince song, "Let's Go Crazy." We danced with our second beer in our hands, making sure not to spill anything.

I went to the kitchen. I knew a few bags of chips were in there. I wanted something before the pizza arrived. Out the patio doors, I could see a few guys smoking pot. No big deal. I knew Donny wouldn't like it though. We had discussed drugs one night.

I came back to the living room where the music was. Two guys were making out on the couch. Donny was entertained by watching them. They were fully clothed, but one guy was gripping the other guy's boner as if the pants didn't exist.

"There's a hundred things here Corey wouldn't approve of," I said, taking my place next to Donny.

"He's not your boss. And he's not here."

I kissed Donny. His free hand gripped my ass as we let our lips stay adhered together.

I poured my third beer just as the pizza arrived. For delivery, I thought it was still pretty warm. I didn't have a good sense of a head count at the party. People were moving in and out a lot. Lights were slowly being turned off. The house was by no means dark, but it certainly wasn't bright. As I went in for a second slice, I saw Josh. The kitchen had the most lights on.

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

"Maybe twenty ... thirty minutes. I didn't see you."

"Same here."

We hugged.

"I'm stoned," he said.

"Oh." That's why I didn't see him. "Donny is in the living room. Here, take him this slice," I said. "I gotta take a leak."

I walked down the hall. When we had arrived, someone had pointed out where the bathroom was. Just as I was getting to the bathroom door, I saw a bedroom door close. One guy was on the bed shirtless with his fly already open.

Damn. This party was crazy.

After I flushed, I washed pizza grease and sour cream-and-onion dust off my fingers. I wondered what my dick would taste like after having held it.

As I left the bathroom, I paused at another bedroom. Even with music playing in the living room, I could hear moaning behind the door. Fuck, how loud was the guy?

I walked up to Donny and grabbed my beer on the shelf behind him. I kissed him. "Miss me?"

"I don't know which of you two is more out of it," he said.

"I'm fine," Josh and I said in unison.

The two guys on the couch were now really going at it. One guy had his hand completely down the back of his lover's jeans. I knew he was fingering his ass.

"I'm. So. Fucking. Hard. Watching them," Josh said.

That made both Donny and I look at his jeans. Sure enough, there was a noticeable bulge.

"Are you guys having a good time?" Nate asked, circling through the room.

"Totally," I said. "We appreciate being invited."

"I knew it wouldn't be for everybody in the Prism group. I tried to find the partying type crowd."

Josh and I giggled. Donny just stood there and smiled.

"There's still more pizza. Help yourself."

"Thanks, Nate," Donny said.

I felt a slight buzz, but I was fine. The music increased in volume. Donny and I started to dance.

"I'm grabbing a drink. You guys want anything?" Josh asked.

"I still have half my beer. I'm fine for now," I said, gyrating my shoulders to Lady Gaga.

"Grab me a Coke," Donny said.

"A Coke?" I replied.

"Hey. One of us has to drive."

"I guess you're the mature one tonight." I giggled. "We need Corey here. He could be the dezisnated driver. Des-ig-nated."

The guys on the couch had turned their bodies. The guy with black hair had his fly completely open. The brown-haired guy had his hand down his briefs. I couldn't see cock, but we could see groping. Hot.

"About Damn Time" by Lizzo came on. We danced some more. The two guys got off the couch and headed back to the bedrooms.

"Now THAT'S about damn time," Josh joked.

"I guess Brady didn't get invited," I observed.

"He's a freshman," Donny said.

"So am I."

"You're with me."

"Ohhhhhhhh."

I gazed around the room. Was I the youngest one here? It was only by a year — mere months. Did it matter? I felt 16.

Someone walked up to us. It took me a moment to remember him.

"Hi guys."

"Caven, right?" Donny asked.

"Right. Sooooooo ... where's your cute third?"

I chuckled. "Forrest? He's not our third. We pulled your leg. He's straight. We were just rescuing him."

"Rescuing!!?? From me?" Caven flamboyantly put his hand over his chest. "Girl, I would have flipped his switch if I had had the chance. He was a whole lot of yumminess."

"I'll be sure to tell him," I said.

Caven moved on.

"He's had plenty to drink," Donny said.

"Speaking of which, I'm going to take another leak and get me one more."

"They have other things besides beer," Donny said.

I ignored him. I went upstairs to seek out that bathroom. The master bedroom's door was wide open. I saw four guys completely naked. There was sucking and fucking and just about every "ing" going on. A fifth guy had his dick out of his pants and was jerking his cock while filming the others on his phone. I may have been buzzed, but even I knew that could wind up in the wrong hands. That was all sorts of hot, but I didn't need in on it. This upstairs bathroom had a lit candle. Good. I let out a huge fart. I knew the candle would help disguise it.

I paused at the doorway again just long enough to see cum sprayed on one guy's face. "Fuck yeah," said another. I think it pushed him over the edge, but I had no way of knowing if he was really unloading inside the guy's ass or not. I felt downstairs was a little more manageable.

None of this was my scene, but I was intrigued by the freedom of it all. As I entered the kitchen, I saw Nate carrying an armload of towels. He saw me look at him strangely.

"Reinforcements for the hot tub," he said.

"Oh, damn. I left my swimsuit on my bed."

Nate looked at me in disbelief.

"Swimsuit. Aiden, girl, you are adorable."

I glanced out the patio door. Tiki torches illuminated a few people sitting on the edge. I could see bare asses. Three more people were submerged up to their chests.

Nate winked at me, and I felt naïve and 12 years old.

Seeing Nate walk up with towels, one stood. His cock hung about four dripping hot inches. I turned. Two others were standing nude nearby with beers, watching. They weren't touching their dicks, but they were erect as erect could be.

This was not an NDPrism event. This was completely different. I felt wild. I felt crazy. Was this the college experience I had been missing?

I poured two beers.

"I brought you another beer," I said.

"I have a Coke," Donny said.

"Oh, have fun. Corey would be drinking a Coke. It's a party."

"I do have to drive. Don't you think you've had enough?"

"Hardly. You're the one who has to drive. Not me." I chugged a big gulp. "Hey! Want to get naked?"

"What?"

"Let's go get in the hot tub."

"I don't know."

"I will if you guys will," Josh said, with a fresh beer in his hand.

Donny was hesitant, but we walked outside. You could almost feel heat and chlorine in the air, but the temperature was still slightly cool when you stepped back from the hot tub.

I realized people were following the rule. Mild conversation was heard, but no one was loud. The party shouldn't have called any attention to the house. There were chairs set up alongside the fence. I noticed one guy receiving a blowjob from another on his knees. This was a wild party!

Two guys got out of the hot tub.

"Let's get in," I said.

"I don't know," Donny grumbled.

"Why not? Come on."

"I'm not sure I need to be naked in front of a bunch of strangers," he whispered into my ear.

"Everybody else is."

"There's still a considerable amount of people inside with their clothes on."

"You've got a beautiful dick," I said. Then belched. "Don't hide it."

"I don't have a beautiful dick, and I'LL do it," Josh said.

Seconds later, Josh stood naked before us. "Last one in..."

"His dick looks like Corey's," I said.

I was out of my clothes and slipped in next to Josh.

"Ohhhhhhh, man. This feels so good."

"Mm hm," said three others in the tub.

"I like your dick," one of them said.

"Hey. That penis is mine," joked Donny. "Geez. I guess I better get in there and protect what's mine."

Laughter followed. Donny stripped and got in next to me.

"And this is mine," I said, reaching for Donny's cock. "I think it's beautiful."

"Okay. Down, boy." Donny took his hand and moved my grip off his dick.

I saw a guy next to the keg. He had his jeans on, but his shirt was open. Nice chest. I remembered from the NDPrism event that his name was Ford.

"Ford. Sweetie, would you be so kind as to bring me a beer."

"Aiden, I don't think you need another one."

"'m fine. Just havin' fun."

Ford handed me a beer. "Thanks, hon'. Nice chest!"

I took a big drink out of my cup. Donny continued to sip on the one I brought him a while ago.

"God, you're sexy," I said, feeling Donny's chest with my wet hand. "Have you been to the bathroom?"

"Once. Why?"

"People are having sex all over this house."

"Possibly."

I moved my face to his. "Want to do it? Want to find a bedroom and fuck? Let's fuck."

"Aiden, no."

"With all these guys around? Aren't you horny? Everybody else is. Let's do it. Let's fuck in one of the bedrooms."

"Perhaps we should call it a night."

"But I'm horneeeee," I whined. "Feel how hard I am." I reached for Donny's wrist and put it on my submerged hard-on.

"We should go," Donny said.

I was hoping we would go back to his place and fuck.

"Let me finish this." I slammed my beer.

As I stood, my cock was hard and pointed skyward.

"Beautiful view," said someone in the hot tub we didn't know.

"G'night all. I'm being taken home," I said. "Night Joshy." I belched again.

A fresh towel dried most of my body, but the night air felt cooler once out of the tub. I knew I couldn't put on my clothes standing up, so I dropped the damp towel where I stood and grabbed my pile of clothing and carried it over to a chair.

"Ooo. Should we have another slice of pizza?" I said as we walked through the kitchen.

"Thanks, Nate. It was nice of you to invite us," Donny said.

"Toooootallly," I followed.

Donny held me as we walked to his car.

I didn't remember much about the drive back to campus. I wasn't sure if I nodded off or if we just didn't talk.

Things came more into focus when we got to our parking lot.

"Want me to help you up?"

"No. I'm fiiiine. I'm fine! Are we not going to fuck? Want to suck my dick here in the car?"

"Good night, Aiden. You just need to sleep."

I flung open the door. "Okay, fine. I'll tell Corby you said `hi.'"

I focused on walking. I knew I could do it. It seemed hard, but I knew I could make it without help.

I bumped my shoulder opening the front door, but I was proud that I made it to the elevator without stumbling. Of course, I was just buzzed, not drunk.

On our floor, I reached for my keys. I moved them to the knob, but then dropped them. Then I realized Corey was there, and it shouldn't be locked. I opened the door.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIII'm back."

"Yes, you are," Corey smiled. "Are you okay?"

"Suuuuure. I had fun."

"Apparently. Please tell me you didn't drive."

"Nope. Donny did that. It's about the only thing he did."

"What's that mean?"

"I wanted to suck or fuck or somethin'. But he just dropped me off. He knew I was horny."

"You just probably need to sleep."

"But I need to have sex."

"What you need is sleep."

Wait a minute. I didn't need Donny. I had Corey. We could get off together.

"Hey, buddy, you'd do anything for me."

"Aiden, you're not-"

"Let's jerk each other off."

"No."

"C'mon. Let's do something. I'm so fuckin' horny. Hey! Let me give you a blowjob. You liked it last time."

"No. You just need to sleep. Seriously. Just go to bed."

"Shit!! What is it with ever'body t'night!"

I stormed out of our room, slammed the door and burst into Geoff's and Ace's room.

"Jesus, Aiden! Ya scared the shit outta me," Ace said.

"You won't believe this. Here I am ... willing to give myself to my boyfriend, and he turns me down."

"I can see why," Geoff said. "Looks like you had a little too much of a good time."

"Oh, fuck allah that."

"Bed will do you a world of good," Geoff said.

"Exactly! I just can't get someone in bed! Donny dropped me off and Corey won't do any nothin'."

"You and Corey are not a couple."

"Oh, bullshit!! Us two? I'll always be in love with Corby ... Corey."

"No. You're in love with Donny. You're just drunk."

"Oh, please! Corey an' I hug all the time and we've kissed each other about a hunert times. We jack off and I've felt his cock a lot. He's come on me. I gave him a blowjob and he loved it. Just a coupla weeks ago he thought about fucking me!"

The door opened and Corey stood in the doorway. His face was menacing. In that moment, his look sobered me up. I looked at Geoff and Ace. Their jaws were open; they remained motionless, statuesque.

No.

I didn't mean to say that.

I didn't mean to do that.

"Come back to our room. Now," Corey said firmly. His eyes were just shy of glowing red as if being possessed by a demon. Lasers cut through my soul.

"No. `m sorry. `m sorry, Cor'."

I didn't realize I hadn't closed the door until I heard one of our friends gently shut it behind me. Corey closed our door.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY! Corey ... forgive me. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."

"Go to bed."

I had just severed the closest bond I would have with any human being on the planet. A tidal wave of emotions rose within me, and I burst into tears. Sobs. Wailing sobs. "Nooooooooo."

"Go to bed."

I collapsed on the bed and couldn't stop crying.

 

—

 

I sat up. I felt terrible.

Really terrible.

Oh, God.

I ran down the hall. "Please make it."

I burst into the shower room and rushed to a toilet. I dropped to my knees. My heart raced. Was I? Was I going to? My stomach gurgled.

And I puked. The sounds of retching echoed off the bathroom tiles. I coughed. Then puked again.

"Fuck," I groaned.

I walked to the sink. I washed my mouth off and grabbed a paper towel to wipe it.

I lumbered back down the hall. I was surprised that I went to bed without taking my clothes off. I tried to remember all the beers I drank, but I wasn't sure of the exact count. I had never been that drunk.

I pulled my shirt off and threw it in the laundry basket. I looked at the clock. 2:43.

Crawling back into bed, everything came back to me. NO!

I ruined our friendship forever. There was no coming back from this. There was no forgiveness.

I tried to make out Corey in the darkness. He was just a lump under the covers.

MY lump.

My soulmate lump.

How did I let all that happen? No! For the second time, I cried myself to sleep.

 

—

 

My head was pounding. It was 10:40. Corey was gone.

What should I do?

Where should I go?

Should I say anything to Ace or Geoff?

"I don't know what to do!!" I quietly wailed, standing in the center of the room.

After a few minutes, I took a deep breath and walked to the shower. I knew that would help. That, and a dozen aspirins. I took two. In the shower, I had moments of struggling to catch my breath as my brain was a cyclone of fear and emotion.

I felt better having a layer of drunken grime washed away. Although my skin felt better, my entire soul had withered.

The feel of sun on me was a glimmer of hope. But I still wrestled with ... everything. Where could I turn? I had no one to go to. Nobody. I had fucked up my whole life! I couldn't possibly talk to anybody. They'd think the worst. They SHOULD think the worst!

"Noooo," I whimpered. I clenched my fists and forced myself not to cry. "NOOOOOO!!!!" I screamed at the sky.

I fumbled for my phone. I needed to call Donny and see if I ruined it with him too.

I opened my contacts. I saw Lance.

I called him.

"Hello. Is this Aiden?"

"Yes, sir. It is Lance, sir."

"You can drop the sir. How are you, bud'?"

I coughed, gasping for air. "I think you need to come beat the shit out of me."

"What?"

"You told me if I ever made your mistakes, you'd come beat the shit out of me."

"Where are you?! Are you okay? Are you safe?"

"I ruined everything. I got really drunk last night, and-"

"Did you drive? Is anyone hurt?"

"I – I – I fucked up my whole life. I don't know what to do."

"Tell me everything."

I did. As best as I could recollect, I told him every fucking mistake I had made the night before.

"Ohhh, Aiden. I can't tell you I will know how everyone will react. I just don't know. I do know deep down Corey loves you very much. I hope you two can get through this."

"I don't know how," I whimpered.

"More than anything, I want you to know this. This is just one day. It isn't forever. And you aren't alone. You have friends. You have me. Call me as many times as you need to. I'm here."

"Thank you, Lance. I know you don't know me super well, but ... thank you. Hearing those words helps."

"Just tell me you won't turn to alcohol to bury all this."

"Lord no. The thought of beer right now repulses me."

"Okay. Good luck, Aiden. Keep me posted."

I hung up. Part of me wished he would drive up here and beat the shit out of me. It was what I deserved.

 

—

 

"How do you feel?" Donny asked, meeting me in front of his dorm.

"Like shit."

"No surprise."

"I'm very sorry about last night."

"Me too."

"Why you?"

"That party wasn't the best choice for us. I didn't know it was going to be quite that off-the-rails. Beer, yes. Making out, yes. Rampant nudity ... wasn't quite expecting that. I'm sorry."

"At least you kept your dignity intact. I was a raging drunk by 11."

"There aren't a lot of people who will remember last night's details."

"That's no excuse."

I bowed my head. "I may have ruined my friendship with Corey forever after last night."

"Why? What happened."

"I just said stupid shit when I was drunk and angry."

"Like what?"

I didn't really want to tell Donny how Corey and I shared moments of affection and spilled that to Ace and Geoff.

"When I didn't get sex from you, I kind of ... suggested to Corey that..."

"You didn't."

"I did."

"Oh, wow."

"He's going to hate me forever."

"He knew you were drunk, right?"

"That is NOT an excuse!" I took a deep breath. "It may have been the reason, but that doesn't excuse what I did. Gawd. I'm never drinking again."

"You have three more years of college. That might be a trick." My boyfriend looked to the side. "Well, I'd offer you sex today, but Chas is here all day."

"Uck. I feel like hell anyway."

"But he's gone next weekend. He's taking an early carload home."

In that moment, I didn't care about sex at all.

"Perhaps. If I don't feel like garbage, ... that sounds nice."

Donny kissed me. "Feel better."

 

—

 

I ate nothing all day. I felt lousy, both physically and mentally. At 7:30, I drove past a Panera and had some soup. As I breathed in the steam from my bowl, I reflected on an entire day of walking the expanse of Notre Dame and driving mindlessly around the surrounding area.

I got back to our room at about 8:45. Corey was sitting on his bed. When he saw me enter, he stood up and put on his shoes.

"Are you mad?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Do you hate me?"

"No. You're my best friend."

He headed toward the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. Please be asleep when I get back."

He firmly shut the door. It was loud enough to almost be considered a slam, but not quite.

Tears welled and flowed with no attempt from me to stop them. I hated myself. In my peripheral vision, I saw "The Journey" above Corey's bed. I momentarily gasped and turned toward it to see if he had removed "me" from the work of art. But I was still in the center, right there with him on his journey. I couldn't figure out why, but that made me cry harder.

 

—

 

I rapped on Geoff's and Ace's door following dinner. Ace answered.

"Good. You're both here," I said, entering.

"Yeah." They both stopped what they were doing and turned toward me.

"How are you and Corey?" Geoff asked.

"Getting there." I sat next to Ace on his bed. "I thought you guys might have some questions."

"Well ... I `spose we do," Ace said. "I'm not really sure how to begin."

"Obviously, I was stupid drunk."

"Yeah," Geoff said.

"I wasn't really sure what I was saying."

"You seemed to be flyin' off the handle kinda sorta," Ace said.

"That's an understatement. I should not have said those things."

"But ... are they true? Did ya guys do all that stuff?"

"Not exactly how I presented it."

A knock on the door followed.

"It's open," Geoff called out.

The door opened. Corey, Sam and Emanuel stepped in. Ace and Geoff looked surprised.

"We thought we'd clear this up as soon as possible," Corey said.

"I guess you guys know more of what's going on than I do," Emanuel said. "I'll ... just listen."

"I got drunk, Manny. Stupid drunk. Two nights ago. I was at a party. A gay party. I was there with Donny. He only had two or three beers. I had five or maybe six. To be honest, I don't know if it was even more than that. The point is ... I got shitfaced."

"That's not too uncommon in college," Emanuel said.

"That's not the point of the story. I said some things. Wrong things. We need to clear that up. We don't need any talk to spread."

"We ain't said nothin'," Ace softly confirmed.

"I talked things out with Sam last night," Corey said. "Aiden and I agreed this evening to get things out in the open."

"What things?" Emanuel said.

"Aiden and I ... are close."

"That's the biggest understatement of the year," Sam said. "You're like a married couple."

"We're NOT a couple," I said. "Donny and I are a couple. Corey and Zoey are a couple. I'm in love with Donny."

"But ... there's more to it than that," Corey said, sitting next to Geoff.

Sam and Emanuel pulled up chairs. We were arranged in a horseshoe in their room.

"I grew up ... maybe it's different than everybody else. I don't know if it was normal or not," Corey said.

"Is there a normal?" Geoff asked.

"Well, I know I'm different. My parents are very loving, and so are my adult friends back home. I'm very affectionate. Aiden is my best friend. I love him. We are so close; we share a lot of things. Back in high school, we would jack off together sometimes."

"Ever'body does that," Ace said.

"I didn't," Geoff said.

"I did," Sam said.

"Once," Emanuel said.

"Anyway, we did it in high school. Here at Notre Dame, we'd do it from time to time. And sometimes, I'd let Aiden jerk me off."

"Oh," Emanuel said.

"I'm not gay. But I am affectionate. I know that. Aiden and I have a connection that I feel is ... amazing. And I wouldn't change it for anything."

"Thanks," I softly interjected.

"We kept things private. It was just our business. But when Aiden blurted things out the other night..."

I buried my face in my hands. I groaned in pain.

"I did some talking with Sam last night. When I went to Sunday school — if they still call it that — when I was young, as we entered our teenage years, one of the deacons at our church made a comment that if we did something that we had to hide, we should ask ourselves why we want it hidden."

"Well, some things ARE private," Geoff said.

"Correct. If that's the reason, then it might not be sinful or wrong. In my heart, all the affection that Aiden and I share is simply private moments between friends. I wouldn't change it for anything."

"But the way I said some things the other night didn't come out right," I said. "Corey wasn't wanting to fuck me. He wasn't. For months, I always joked I would give him a blowjob. He always said no, of course. Except the night he broke up with Patty. He was upset and had some drinks ... and I felt I took advantage of that."

"I knew what I was doing. It was once. It was nice ... and perhaps that night, it was what I needed. But the two of us don't do that. We just jack off from time to time."

"Do ya kiss like Aiden said?"

Corey paused. I was going to let him take this one.

"Yes. Again, the people I'm around, kissing — even among men — is common. I did it once when he felt things weren't going well, and I just impulsively kissed him after telling him it would be okay. Almost like a mom. It surprised both of us, but ... it didn't bother us. Now, I can do it in a heartbeat with Aiden. I don't regret us doing that."

"It's kinda weird though, don't ya think?" Ace sheepishly asked.

"Weird? No. I think it's awesome we are comfortable to do that. I love each of you here. I could probably kiss any one of you and be okay with that. But, yeah, it's not common. I get that. I have thought many times that I'm sort of a misfit, not fitting in with everybody else."

"Well, that's not true," Sam said. "You're totally fine. You're just okay kissing friends."

"Exactly. And if I had to keep it a secret, then I ask myself why. Is it wrong? To help my friend feel better or let him know it's okay or know he's loved? I know then that it's not wrong. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not ashamed of me. I'm not ashamed of us."

"Thanks, Corey," I barely managed to get out between wiping my eyes.

"So that's it. I just wanted you all to know. I don't want to hide it from you. I love each of you, and I don't mind showing you. But if you don't like it, just tell me to reign it in. I get it. I understand."

"Ya ain't asking us all to jack off together tonight, are ya?" Ace asked.

The room burst into laughter.

"No. No, I'm not Ace. You're safe."

We laughed again.

"I'm glad the two of you are good again. When things are off between you two, the whole group is off," Geoff said.

"Agreed," Ace said.

"Any further questions?" I asked.

Everyone shook their heads.

"I do love all of you," Corey said.

Sam walked up to Corey. "I think you're sweet." He kissed Corey on the lips very quickly. Everyone looked on in surprise. "That was a one-time thing."

"You think that," I said. "But it ... it becomes easier. And nicer."

"No thanks," Ace said. "But it don't bother me none to say I love you all too."

"Whoa!" Corey roared. "Wow, Ace. That's huge for you."

"Now ... don't make a big fuss over it. It's easier as a group thang. But ... I do. I don't mind sayin' it."

Geoff turned to Emanuel. "Love you, Manneeeeee."

"That's it. I'm done. Good night, everybody."

Everyone giggled as Manny made his way out the door.

Sam put his hand on Corey's shoulder. "I know that took courage. I'm impressed. And thanks for talking things out with me last night. I kind of feel honored."

"And everyone, please, PLEASE, I ask you to forgive me for my drunken stupidness," I pleaded.

"Forgiven," Geoff said.

Everyone stood to go back to their own rooms.

The door opened. "Okay, fine. I love you all too. There! Happy?"

"I love you, Manny, you thin, suave dude you," Sam said.

"What – EV – er."

And the door closed again. Everyone snickered.

Sam hugged each person in the room before he left. Corey and I walked back to our room.

He flopped on his bed. "Well. That's done."

"I'm really sorry for everything."

"I'm still mad at you for getting drunk and blabbing our personal stuff ... but I'm glad I don't have to hide it. It made me face it. I'm different than other people. I admit it, and ... I'm okay with it."

"I think you're pretty terrific."

He sat up. I sat next to him, put my arm around him and took a selfie of us. "The Journey" was just above our heads.

"What was that for?"

"I felt the need."

Corey went down to pee. I texted Lance the picture. "Life is fine." A minute later, a hug emoji was texted back.

I couldn't help but have a smile on my face even as I brushed my teeth. Even as I walked down the hall to pee, I felt a huge weight had been lifted. Yes, I had been humiliated and caused friends to feel pain: I couldn't forget that. But making it through that crisis, I just smiled. I hadn't completely wrecked everything.

We turned out the lights back in the room. My name art was shining dimly. The backlit LEDs were illuminated purple for the evening. In its violet glow, Corey and I stood in front of each other, stripped to our underwear. Our eyes met. Our mouths smiled. Corey's arms opened wide. I entered them.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you."

"You have no idea how you hold me together, Aiden. I feel lucky. I knew we could get through this."

We kissed goodnight and walked to our beds. I reached for the remote to turn out the name art.

"Don't," Corey said.

"Huh? Why?"

"I don't know. Tonight, I just ... I just want to fall asleep in the light of my best friend. At least for a while, if it doesn't keep you awake."

"Sure."

For the third night in a row, I wiped tears on my sheets. Tonight, it was a good thing.

 

—

 

I did well on my quiz. I thought I'd ace the test in Psychology, but I got a 3.1. Not bad, but I was hoping for better. I wished things came as easily to me as they did for Corey. Still, I was probably doing better than my parents expected when I arrived in August.

"I hate that it is another week to buckle down, but please know I miss being able to spend more time with you," I told Donny on the phone. "At least we have Saturday."

"I'll get my work done Friday night," he said.

"Me too."

"I'm hoping we can spend the day ... just the two of us."

"Well, Corey and I have the morning shift at the CCE. It's our next to last one." I leaned back to look at the calendar on the wall. "Yeah. But once I shower, I can meet you. How about a late lunch?"

"That would be nice."

Donny and I had managed a total of one blow job after we made love in his dorm room. I was hoping he would try fucking me again. We hadn't had much time since I really focused on classes, just that brief period of time following the friends' dinner.

Corey came into the room. "Ace and Geoff texted that they could do dinner with us if we eat at 5."

"A bit early, but ... okay. Heaven knows starting earlier on homework would help."

"How'd you do on your test?"

"Okay. 3.1, but I really thought I knocked it out of the ballpark."

"That's still not bad."

"I just want to do well on the final. Really well. My quiz in History went great."

"Let me know if there is anything I can do to help."

I wished Corey and I had classes together. He could help me study that way. Maybe next year we could find more overlap in our schedules.

"Since we are doing an early start, maybe I'll get some laundry done tonight," he said.

I looked at my clothes basket. It was getting full. At least T-shirts and shorts took up less space than the bulkier stuff we wore in the winter.

"I might join you. Some of my work is just reading a chapter, so I could do that there."

We heard the door shut next door. We knocked. Both of them were home. The sun was still out as we walked to dinner.

"I love spring," Aiden said. "Isn't it funny that Spring Break technically takes place during the last weeks of winter?"

"I guess it divides up the term that way," Geoff said.

"I miss seeing you in your scarf though," Corey said.

"Yeah. I look sharp in that scarf."

Inside the dining hall, we set our meals down at the table.

"I'm glad you two will still sit with us," Corey said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Geoff remarked.

"After this last weekend, I thought maybe we'd be ... just too ... I don't know, weird to socialize with."

"Ya ain't weird." Ace paused. "Exactly." He then took a bite of sliced turkey.

"Something isn't really hidden in that exactly," I said.

"Don't get me all wrong. Ya guys are great, but ... ya gotta admit that you're a bit mushy."

Corey roared. We all turned to him. He couldn't stop laughing.

"What the hell was that about?"

Corey laughed again.

"I used to give my parents grief for being too mushy. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"Seriously? You thought your parents were worse than you?" Geoff asked, looking down at his serving of corn that refused to get on his fork.

"You saw my dads on Spring Break. They're total creampuffs."

"You're pretty mushy, Corey," Ace said. "That stuff you said last night ... actually what I said last night ... I could never tell my sports friends all those thangs."

"That you loved us?"

"Yeah. That."

"Why not?" Geoff asked his roommate.

"They'd make funna me."

"You didn't make fun of us," I said, my mouth full of mashed potatoes.

"They'd tell me I was gay if I said it. No offense, Aiden."

I swallowed. "Why is that people can just throw a `No offense' on the end of a sentence and that somehow makes it not offensive?!"

"Sorry."

"Eh. I wasn't offended."

Ace threw a roll, and it bounced off my forehead. Everyone laughed.

"Well, I think it's sad you can't tell your jock friends what they mean to you," I said.

"I `spose. It was kind of nice saying that last night. Although ... it didn't come easy."

"You looked fairly comfortable in doing so," Corey said, using a spoon to get more gravy on top of his mound of mashed potatoes.

"I was caught up in it all. Not that I didn't mean it. I did. I do. That kind of thing ... sayin' it ... it's sometimes hard."

"It certainly is for Manny," Geoff said.

We laughed.

"Have you told Beth you love her?" Corey asked.

"Whoa. No. That's something different entirely. We ain't there yet."

"Totally understand," I said. "When I say it to Donny, it means something different than when I say it to you guys."

"Does Donny know all the stuff you two told us last night?" Geoff asked.

"About me and Corey ... and affection and stuff?"

"Yeah."

"Probably not everything. He's seen us hug obviously. Since he and I have become serious, Corey and I ..." I turned to my roommate. "Do we show less affection now?"

"I think so. We don't give those simple kisses as much. On the rare occasions we ..." I looked around to see if anyone was close. "... jack off together, we don't touch each other."

"I'm not going to cheat on him. I know that," I said. "Everything between Corey and I is on a friendship level."

"REAL CLOSE friends," Ace said sarcastically.

"Guilty as charged," Corey said.

"Last night you said `Everybody does that' when we mentioned ... jacking around with friends ... in high school. When was the last time you ... jerked off ... with a guy?" I asked Ace.

"Uck. I don't like to think about it. Dang. I only did it a few times. My best friend in high school. Sophomore year. Things were changing with him. He just wondered if thangs were the same with me, and he asked me questions. We just decided to do it. It was super private. We didn't touch each other or anythang. It was only a few times. After I started fucking girls my junior year-"

"Junior year?" Geoff asked.

"I was 17."

"Can't you go to jail or something if you do it with an underage girl?"

"She was 18."

"Ooooo. A senior," I said.

"And there was me ... doing a whole bunch of nothing," Geoff said.

"And me," my roommate groaned.

"Both of ya are choosin' to be that way. If that's what you want, then fine. Just own it and quit bitchin' about it."

"Well, it's not what I want ... but I sort of jumped into the deep end without knowing how to swim a few months ago," Geoff softly said.

Ace bumped his roommate's shoulder. "I know, buddy. I unnerstand." He then pulled apart a roll and ran it through the remaining gravy on his plate.

 

—

 

I listened to Corey console Zoey over the phone. Apparently, she had done poorly on a test. I knew Corey didn't know what to say to make her feel better, but even when he didn't know the right words, he said good words.

He agreed to meet her outside for a little while.

I thought that might give me just a bit of "private" time, but my phone rang. It was Scott, my high school boyfriend.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I was just thinking about you."

"Sweet. Why so?"

"I was just thinking of home."

"I assume I will see you next month when we all get back."

"Yeah. I'm ready."

"Won't you miss your boyfriend?"

"Sadly, we broke up two weeks ago."

"Oh, man. I'm sorry. I wish you would have told me."

"Why? There's nothing you could do. I just had to say, `Life sucks,' for a week or two. I suppose I'll live."

"Well, I'm sorry. I could have at least listened. I've gotten pretty good at that."

"You sure?"

I wasn't sure why Scott had called. There seemed to be something deeper he wasn't saying. But I just let him talk about school and the breakup and home.

"Is it weird that Corey and I kind of think of Notre Dame as home?"

"You two are inseparable. Wherever you are together will be home."

I liked that. I knew it couldn't be true forever. He'd marry Zoey or some girl. Hopefully I'd find Mr. Right — if Donny didn't turn out to be him. But Corey was my soulmate. I just couldn't picture him not being in my life. Would our spouses or partners tolerate that? It amused me that I thought I had grown up so much this last year, but I was really just beginning.

Scott got quiet. He finally, very softly asked, "Aiden? Was I a good boyfriend?"

"Sure. We had fun together. Why do you ask?"

"I suppose ... I guess I'm not feeling worthy at the moment."

"I like everything about you, Scott. You're a great catch."

"Will I be in your `net' when we get back?"

Damn.

"Not that way. Granted, we still have four weeks to go, but ... I am assuming Donny and I will still be together, even when we are separated over the summer. I don't see me cheating on him."

"Right."

"But I'm STILL your friend. We can hang out some."

"I guess. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just ... spilled crap at your feet."

"You didn't."

"Donny's lucky," Scott said.

"Thanks. So is your next boyfriend, whoever that may be."

"Wish we were old enough to go to the bars when we get back."

"There are other ways to meet guys. Not to mention I don't make the decisions when I'm around beer. Plus, no one says you have to BE with anyone."

"I just kind of want to be."

"I can understand that. I felt that way first semester."

Scott got quiet. "I won't keep you any longer. Take care, Aiden."

"I look forward to seeing you soon, Scott."

After we hung up, I started thinking about how close the summer break actually was. We'd be packing up before we knew it. I didn't want to think about not rooming with Corey. Who would I tell things to? No Corey. No Donny. No Ace and Geoff ... or Sam ... or Forrest. Sure, they would be a phone call away, but they wouldn't be here.

It was silly, but they were "my home." My mother and father and our house were one thing, but ... I had a second family. Eight months ago, I never would have thought it would turn out this way.

 

—

 

"How was your shift at the CCE?" Donny asked.

"The closer we get to the end of the school year, the less things are being stocked. Food is still coming in, but ... does it feel like the end of the semester is just waiting to pounce and — BAM! — it's going to be here, and we all just drive away?"

"Eek. That went in an unexpected direction," Donny said in surprise.

"I'm not sure what's going on inside me. Last August, I couldn't wait to get away from home. I thought my parents were total corpses. I just wanted to get away. I hear some people talk about classes being over and that they are just ready and ... I don't feel that."

"You like your classes that much?"

"No. Not that. It's just ... here. Everybody. Us." I looked at Donny. "What happens to us over the summer? We haven't talked about that."

"I've been avoiding thinking about it."

"We can maybe see each other somewhere. Either town. Or meet up for a trip. But ... it's just so much distance between us."

"I get it."

"If I didn't have Corey back in Jackson Bend, I could see myself really falling into a depressive funk." I chuckled. "Actually, I think that was my default emotion back in high school."

Donny got up to get more napkins, leaving me alone to my personal anxiety.

"No one knows all the answers, babe," he said sitting down. "We just have to figure it out as it happens."

"What was it like last year, when everyone just left?"

"I'll admit it's sort of weird. When you're in high school, everyone is still in town. But ... college ... they're like gone. Phones and Facetime and all that just aren't the same. Some people I said `Bye' to and that was fine. Some I really missed. Two friends I really liked didn't even come back this year."

I sighed. "I didn't even think of that. What if I never see these people again??"

"That's going to happen our whole lives. Each time you change jobs, if you get transferred to a new town, if you change ... gyms. Who knows?"

"I hate this."

"It's still a few weeks away."

Two hours later, we were lying on Donny's bed.

"I can tell Chas took some things. I realize most of it was clothes and stuff in his closet, but ... I can tell."

"Yeah. But let's not think about him." Donny kissed me. "Take your shirt off."

I did. I pulled his T-shirt over his head. We smiled at each other. My fingertips felt all the hair in the center of his chest as our lips pressed, again and again.

We felt and kissed and were simply present for each other. It wasn't like sex was forbidden in the middle of the afternoon, but our intimacy in the moment was on the milder side but still very loving.

I turned on my side and pulled Donny's arm around me. He held me tight. For a second, I contemplated a nap. If we lay still long enough, it could have accidentally happened.

As I looked into the room, I noticed something under Chas' bed.

"Is that a strip of condoms?"

Donny lifted his head. "Huh?"

"Under Chas' bed."

Donny looked. "Huh. Well, I'll be. He has been seeing this girl for a few weeks. I didn't know he had it in him."

"He's a human being. Everyone has sexual urges."

"I know."

"Of course, Corey-"

"Aiden." Donny had cut me off.

I looked at him confused.

"Can we talk?"

Shit. Those were always horrible words.

We both sat up next to each other.

"I know you and Corey are close."

"Best friends."

"At the party last week."

I groaned. "OOOOHH! I am so sorry I got drunk."

"Aside from that, as you were drinking, you mentioned Corey's name about five dozen times."

"Really? Well, we are roommates."

"He's more than that."

That statement was absolutely true. Corey was my soulmate, my world. But I didn't need to say that out loud right now. It wasn't what Donny needed to hear.

"There are times when ... when ... when I think you love him more than me."

That statement was also true. I loved Corey more than anyone else on Planet Earth. Again, I didn't need to say that out loud.

"Donny ... I love you. You know that."

"I do. I love you too." He looked down. "But sometimes I feel like I'm competing with Corey."

"No. Babe. No. Sure, I love Corey. He's my best friend, and we share everything. But that's not the same love I have for you. I'm IN love with you. You understand the difference, right?"

"I sometimes wonder if I can tell the difference ... or if you do."

"You and I are a couple; Corey and I are friends."

"And I don't want to take you from that. I just wonder if I measure up."

"Donny." I pushed my lips to his. "I love you. Don't second guess it."

We kissed some more. "Aiden, I want you to love me as much as you love him."

"Stop competing. Stop comparing. I love you. I need you. I want to make love to you."

"Yes." He kissed me forcefully. "Let me know that I'm yours and you are mine."

"Exactly!"

We scrambled out of our jeans. We kissed some more as we groped each other's cocks through our underwear. Our kissing got loud. It was passionate. Our hands started feeling and pulling and squeezing each other's body. His hand slipped below my waistband and clutched my butt cheeks. I reached between us and gripped his erection.

"Want to fuck me again?" I asked.

"No. That will go too fast. I need you in me. I will feel you belong to me if I feel your cock inside me."

"I belong to you no matter what."

"Fuck me, babe," Donny said, ripping his underwear off, releasing his hard-on to spring free.

I jumped up, losing my briefs to the floor. Donny reached for lube and a hand towel. I walked to my overnight bag to grab a condom.

We jumped back into bed naked. I squirted some lube on my fingers and started pulsing them at the entrance to Donny's ass. He hummed feeling the stimulation.

I pushed a finger in. He breathed out and smiled. "Aiden." I probed. I spread lubricant inside him.

Two fingers entered. "Spread me open," he said.

Our lips locked as my fingers probed and explored. A groan escaped from Donny's throat into mine.

"Do it, Aiden. Take me. Put your cock inside me."

My hand was slippery, and I couldn't tear open the condom package. I placed it in my teeth and leaned down. Donny pulled on it to rip it open.

I sheathed my penis with the rolled latex. I added lubrication and moved the towel below his ass.

Donny lifted his legs and spread them open, making his hole completely available.

He didn't say the words, he just mouthed them: "Fuck me."

I put the head of my cock right at his hole. I let just the tip go inside. My hands reached down and steadied myself alongside his elbows.

Another inch moved inside him. "Yeah," he panted.

Slowly, I pushed all the way in. "Yeah!" I called out.

"Fuck me, honey. Fuck me with your hard cock. Show me you're mine."

We didn't care who might hear next door. We grunted and groaned through a few minutes of sexual bliss. Thrusting inside him, I kept my face pressed to his. Our noses touched. Our lips touched. Our foreheads touched. Our breathing intermingled into one panting breath.

I kissed him, still shoving my rigid flesh in and out of his hole.

"It feels soooooo good," Donny wailed, breaking our kiss.

Seconds of sexual pleasure became minutes of sexual heaven. My rhythm of thrusting in and out was steady and pleasurable for both of us.

"I'm getting close, babe."

"Get off!"

I was startled. "What?"

"Stop fucking me. I don't want us to be done." I pulled my dick from him. It felt alone, abandoned. "Lay down!" he instructed.

He worked his crotch up to my face.

"Suck me."

His dick was shoved into my face. I grabbed his ass and took the moment to blissfully feast on his anatomy. I hummed tasting and feeling and stimulating and devouring his manhood.

Donny growled as he was being gratified. My hands roamed up his chest while he fucked my throat.

He reached back. He confirmed that my erection had not left me. He moved back, pulling his dick from my face.

My lover positioned himself above my waist. He lowered onto me, and we both groaned in pleasure when my shaft moved up inside him again.

"Ride it," I said. "Ride my fucking cock."

He did. I watched his body language melt and dance and contemplate all at the same time. Donny was borderline squealing, feeling my rod move up and down inside his passage.

"You're so hot, Aiden."

"So are you. We make each other hot. We make each other hard. Unghhh."

"Oh, yes. God, yes." Donny squirmed all over my pole.

As he rode me, I held his cock, pulling it, stroking it. It made my boyfriend groan even louder.

"You're all mine, Aiden. We belong to each other."

His bouncing waist was making my groin, my cock, my body throb.

"Donny. Fuck oh man. Fuck yes."

"Fuck," he echoed back, bobbing on my cock.

"Fuck! It feels so good."

Like an oil well, our bodies writhed and gyrated and pumped.

"Oh, baby!" he cried. "Oh, Aiden. Fuck, baby! Pull my cock! Pull my cock! Pull MY COCK!"

I jerked his dick powerfully.

"I'M COMING!!!! OH! UNGH! UNGH! UNGH! UNGH! UNGH!"

"Yes!" I screamed as all his cum hit my chest. "Keep riding me. Don't stop. Don't stop!"

I loved that I was totally messy but still had my cock inside him, fucking him.

Donny's face continued to twist in orgasmic pleasure, even after his climax had finished. His waist still rode my monument. He continued to groan as my hard flesh worked his ass over.

"Ohhhhh, Aiden."

His cum began to drip into the hair I had between my pecs. What was on my neck dripped to the pillow below me.

He groaned and squealed. I growled, feeling the orgasm begin to build.

"Baby, Donny, I'm ... I'm..."

"Come for me. Come inside my ass. Blow that load! Fuck me, Aiden!!

My crotch almost sent Donny airborne, as he rode my cock like a buck bronco.

"Gyah! I'm coming! UNGHHH! YEAH! UNGH!! OHHH! UNGH! UNGH! Ungh! Unngh. Unnnnnngggggh.

My eyes had closed in my orgasm. I tried to regain my breathing.

"What a fucking incredible orgasm," I said.

"A wild ride, for sure. I really felt like you belonged to me," he said.

He leaned down. "Careful, I'm messy," I said.

"A good messy," he smiled, before kissing me.

I felt my penis pull from his ass.

We kissed for a couple of minutes. Then a knock came to the door. We looked at each other startled.

I was too messy to move. I was covered in cum.

Donny pulled underwear (mine) up his legs. He opened the door a few inches. "Yes?"

"Are you guys finished?" a voice in the hall said.

"Um. Yes. We are. Sorry."

"Just a fair warning would be nice next time. I could have studied in the library."

The door was closed. "Omigawd," Donny groaned. I laughed.

The hand towel got me mostly clean, but we decided to shower before dinner.

"I wish we could be in the same shower," he whispered.

"That was fun that time during Spring Break, wasn't it?"

"I was glad Forrest didn't ever mention it."

"It was quiet."

"He knew were in the shower together."

"I'm sure, but ... there wasn't anything for him to hear."

 

—

 

We handed our menus to the server at O'Rourke's Public House.

"Do you mind if I hold your hand in public?" I asked.

Donny reached across the table. Our fingers wrapped around each other's.

"Do you plan to work this summer?" he asked.

"Absolutely. My parents give me some money to spend, but I'd prefer not to have to depend upon them. Plus, I'd like to pitch in for some of the tuition."

"That's nice."

"And you?"

"Oh, for sure. Same reasons though. Although, I'll let my parents handle tuition."

A few minutes later, our Pretzel Bites appetizer arrived. As I popped one in my mouth, I smiled at how handsome I thought Donny was.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're good-looking, why else?"

"I'm not as good-looking as Corey."

"Hey, now look who's bringing him up?"

"True. True."

"But, yes, Corey is gorgeous, just like his father."

"Yeah, his dads were kind of hot."

"Completely." I dipped another pretzel bit in mustard. "Mr. Snow was so nice to me when I was young."

"Think he knew?"

"That I was gay? Maybe. I was probably just Corey's friend. I think that was the most of it. I always looked up to him as a role model though."

"I never had anyone like that."

"When did your parents know?"

"Well, contrary to most gay men, I didn't have a `coming out' occasion. Mom and Dad asked me the last semester of my senior year."

"Why would they ask a kid that?"

"Probably because I didn't have a single date with a girl. I'm sure they questioned."

"Oh my gosh! What did they say?"

Donny mocked his parents: "Donneee, we were wondering something. You don't seem interested in girls. Are you not attracted to them?"

"Ick."

"It wasn't that bad. I just point blank told them right then and there that, yes, I could obviously tell when a girl was attractive, but I found myself drawn to guys, and I was thinking I was gay."

"Oooo. How did they take it?"

"Their entire outpouring of emotional support was this: `Okay.'"

"That's it?"

"It could have been far worse. Some of the guys in Prism have shared horror stories."

"You know the artwork over Corey's bed? `The Journey'?"

"Yeah."

"One of the artist friends that helped make that — you met Jakob over Spring Break — Corey told me his family kicked him out at 17."

"Rough. As I said, it could have been worse."

We finished up the last of the pretzel bites as our entrees arrived.

"Right on time," Donny said.

Our server refilled our iced teas. Donny had ordered Cod We Be Friends, a fish dish. I got a burger called Golden Dome, which came with bacon, cheddar, swiss and a fried egg.

"Did you ever do anything with a guy in high school?" I asked, continuing our conversation.

"Nah, I stared at dicks in showers. That was about it."

I burst out laughing.

"I was too timid."

"Did you watch porn?"

"Nope. Never got into it. Had I known it was so readily available and free, maybe I would have. But I just knew if I ever attempted ANYthing, my parents would find out, and I would just die. I was kind of wimpy in terms of sexual adventure."

I remembered at the beginning of the year, Donny was slightly shy. At the time, I found it cute. I preferred the "Aiden, fuck me, pull my cock!" Donny. I looked at him again. Just how he dipped fish in tartar sauce was cute.

We both dove into our meals.

"Yum," I said, knowing I was going to need more napkins.

We didn't say anything for a few minutes as we enjoyed our selections.

"Speaking of condoms..." I started.

"Uh. Were we speaking of condoms??"

"We were this afternoon."

"That's quite the segue there."

"Anyway, we have both talked about this. We both have not been with many people, and our fucking experiences have just been with each other, and ..."

"Well, Roy was inside you."

"He didn't come."

"Maybe pre-cum?"

"How are your dinners, gentlemen?"

Dear heavens, what a time to walk up. Donny turned ketchup red.

"Okay, that was humiliating," Donny said.

I giggled. "We'll never see him again."

"You were saying."

"I would like to get a test for you. That way, we both know for sure."

"I'd be happy to do it with you," he sweetly offered.

"But I've been the only one who has ..." I looked around. "Been inside you. Right?"

"I've swallowed before."

"I don't think you can get HIV that way."

"I don't know. I'd just do it with you. We can probably get it done on campus." Donny swallowed another bite of fried fish. "Why is this on your mind?"

"Well, before we have to say goodbye for the summer, I just thought it would be cool to ... you know ... do it without condoms and-"

"Aiden."

"I'd love to know you were coming inside me."

The server filled my tea again.

Damn it. Dear heavens!

"Tried to warn you," Donny grinned.

"Let's hope we aren't arrested before we leave."

Three hours later, we brushed our teeth and prepared for bed.

"It's nice to be able to sleep naked," I said, climbing back into Donny's bed.

"Particularly with another naked man."

I couldn't remember the last time I had been called a man. Had I ever been??

With lights out, Donny's room seemed much darker than mine and Corey's. There was no small light shining on the floor.

We kissed. I reached for his cock.

"You have no idea how good your dick feels in my hand."

He kissed harder. "You say the nicest things."

"I love you, Donny."

"I love you."

We kissed and groped genitals for a few minutes. We both were hard.

"After this afternoon, I'm sure your ass could use a rest," I said. "Want to fuck me?"

"Honestly, Aiden, this afternoon was amazing. I'm good for now. But we have tomorrow."

"Oh. Okay."

"I hope it is okay if I hold your cock though."

"I won't argue against it."

My head leaned against his, as my boyfriend's gentle grip held my penis.

 

—

 

I loved waking up in Donny's arms. We both gently stirred, sensing each other was awake. I felt his fingers sift through the hair on my chest. I wished I had more hair for him to roam all over.

"I can't think of anything nicer than being held by you when I wake up."

"Aw. That's sweet. But actually, I just hold onto you because if I roll over, I fall out of bed."

"Oh, gee. Thanks a lot."

Donny giggled. "But seriously, we don't have a lot of room here."

"Oh, I know."

I thought of Corey and me snuggled together, naked, in the winter blackout. Even when we jacked off together, we had little room. Not that I needed to share any of that with Donny.

In the shower room, we rubbed our towels through our hair standing in front of the mirrors. I loved watching his dick swing when he did it. Two other guys had left a minute before. We were alone.

"You have the nicest cock of anyone in here this morning," I said.

"Only because you aren't looking down."

"Flatterer."

I momentarily thought of how those comments made Corey feel terrible, but saying them with Donny seemed fine.

In the room, we took our briefs back off and climbed back into bed. I rolled Donny over. I knew he was supremely clean. I buried my nose into his crack. My tongue extended.

"Ohh, Aiden."

I pulled out for a second. "Let's try not to disturb any other residents today."

"Right, right," he softly giggled.

He hummed as my tongue continued to lick his ass and probe his pucker. "Ooo," he softly cooed.

We hadn't experimented with rimming much at all. It was fun to try, but I wanted more. I lifted up and stretched over his body. My freshly showered, six-foot frame covered Donny's backside. My erection had arrived and prodded his left butt check.

"I went to the bathroom before we showered, so ... I'm sort of ... feeling empty," I clumsily whispered into his ear.

"Got it."

"I want you to do me again," I whispered.

"I wasn't great last time."

"I still enjoyed it. Please, Donny. Be inside me."

"Can we do this quietly?"

"I'll scream in whispers," I said.

He sighed. "Here goes nothing."

I grabbed my towel from the shower. It was damp, but it would suffice. I spread it over Donny's bed. I heard a condom package ripped open. I knew he was putting it on. I heard the bottle of lube pop open.

There it was. A slippery finger entered me. I tensed for a second, but the surprise of the intrusion was gone, and I welcomed the exploration. Two fingers caused my body to lurch for a second, but I was fine. He pulsed them in and out of my hole, turning them to make me feel open.

"Do me," I whispered.

"Okay," he said, but not confidently.

Donny pushed the head of his cock to my hole. It slipped up the crack.

"Dang it."

"Try again."

The head went in this time. "There we are," he said softly.

A couple of inches moved inside me.

"Ow." My body jerked.

"I'm sorry. Want me to pull out?"

"No. Just. Stay. Still. Give me a second."

I breathed in quick succession. The pain receded. "Go in more."

Donny was slow. He moved in so gently, so that when he finally finished pushing all the way in, I could take it.

"Are you okay?"

"I am," I whispered back. "My ass is yours. Take it."

We tried to be quieter this time. We didn't say anything; we didn't scream anything; we didn't groan anything.

Donny's breathing was right aside my ear. We both panted. The only word we uttered was a panted "yeah." Both of us.

I felt his arms wrap around my chest. It lifted my shoulders a bit. I wanted to turn over and watch him fuck me, but this felt good for a while. I found his strong arms around me masculine, along with his thick cock inside my body. He thrust it in and out of my waiting hole.

I feared nothing. My boyfriend was making love to me, and I enjoyed it. The stimulation was good — really good. I knew from fucking him yesterday how good a cock feels inside an ass. The pleasure from the other end was nice too. My cock ground into the damp towel below us.

His hands clenched into fists against my chest.

"Damn it."

Donny pushed hard against my ass. The thrusting stopped. He just shoved into me as tightly as he could. He lightly moaned in his orgasm.

Then he collapsed onto me, wonderfully smothering me.

"I'm sorry," he defeatedly whispered. "I'm just not a good top."

"It felt good. You lasted twice as long this time."

"Oh, goodie. TWO minutes," he said, putting himself down.

After a moment of cleanup, he returned to the bed. I had wadded the towel up over to the side. I was on my back, my dick upright, eager for attention.

Donny sucked me for several minutes, but I knew his mind was elsewhere. His fingers weren't passionate. He was too busy critiquing himself.

"Come here," I said.

He looked up at me. I reached down to pull him to me by his armpits.

"Kiss me."

I spread my legs open and wrapped them around his legs. I slobbered into several wet kisses.

"I love you," I said.

"Me too."

He returned to my cock, this time with a little more gusto.

"That's it, baby."

He did a nice job of getting my dick throbbing.

"It feels nice, baby."

While sucking on my flesh, his hands gripped under me to clutch my ass. I thrust my cock up into his mouth, fucking his face.

Within minutes, I knew I was getting close. With him having come already, I didn't know if he would want to swallow.

"I'm close, Donny," I whispered.

My orgasm built. It was rising.

"I'm gonna come, babe."

My lover didn't remove his mouth. My back arched, then I shoved my waist up into his mouth. I felt each spasm of liquid release into his throat. I quietly screamed in breathy gasps.

Then all movement in my body stopped; I weighed 400 pounds.

"Nice, baby."

He moved up from my dick to kiss me. I opened wide, and our tongues met. I felt some of my cum on his tongue. That was erotic to me.

For a few minutes we simply kissed, his naked body lying on top of mine.

A text came in. Donny lifted himself from me. I grabbed my phone.

"Oh. Man."

"What is it?"

"Geoff said Sam's aunt died."

"Oh. That's sad. Were they close?"

"I don't know," I said. "I guess I should head back and find out."

 

—

 

Sunday afternoon. Sam told us about his aunt, with tears in his eyes. She had stayed at their house when he was young, helping to raise him.

On Monday, Sam begged his parents to let him come home. They told him they understood his feelings, but they felt he should complete the semester and focus on the final two weeks of study.

Donny and I went to the clinic to be tested together.

Corey asked for the first time if he could bring Zoey to the room — but insisted they were not having sex. I told him he didn't have to explain anything to me.

On Tuesday, Sam insisted he would drive home for the funeral on Saturday. His parents said that would be fine if he returned to school immediately.

Our group of friends took him out to dinner to keep him company.

On Wednesday, Corey helped him study for a test he was worried about.

On Thursday, we all sat with Sam in his room, along with his roommate. He appreciated all of us looking out for him. He said he felt he had accepted the death of his aunt. No one said much.

On Friday, Sam drove to his hometown after his two morning classes.

On Saturday, Corey and I worked our last shift at the CCE. Each of us called Sam that night following the funeral to let him know we were thinking of him. I was in the room with Aiden and Geoff. Each of us told him we loved him.

Ace came into the room. He asked if we knew how Sam was doing. We told him each of us had called him.

"Hm. `spose I should call `im too. Or do you think he has had `nough calls?"

"Sounds like he doesn't have much to do tonight. He might appreciate hearing from you," Corey said.

"Shit. I don't deal with death really well," Ace said.

There seemed to be something more to that, but Ace didn't elaborate.

He stared at his phone. Finally, he dialed. We could only hear his side of the conversation.

"Hey, man. I'm just checkin' on ya. Thinkin' `bout ya."
"I know."
"I'm really sorry."
"She sounds nice."
"I hate death too."
"Yeah."
"Cousin."
"Don't like to think about it."
"I know it hurts."
"Just remember it hurts because how special she was to you. If it didn't, then she didn't mean anythang."
"You will."
"We're here when you get back. Anythang you need, just ask us."
"Sam, we all love you. I know I do."

It was nice to hear Ace open up. We had all changed since the beginning of our freshman year. Sometimes I wondered if Ace hadn't quietly changed the most.

After he hung up, Ace wiped a tear from his eye.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Don't know."

"What is it?"

"Bad memories."

"I don't mean to pry."

"Ain't that. It just hits me from time to time. When I was 15, I saw my cousin die."

"Oh my gosh! That's horrible," Geoff said.

"It sure is," I followed.

"We was swimming at the lake on our property. There's a small boat dock where it's a bit deeper. My cousin did a back flip off the dock. When he didn't come up, we thought he was goofin' around. But then we got scared. I jumped in and found his body below the surface. When I pulled him up, he was gone."

"Wh – what happened?"

"They ain't totally sure, but they figgered he somehow knocked the breath out of him when he hit the water. He either blacked out and drowned or tried to take in air and drowned."

I saw Ace curl up in a ball and bury his head in his knees.

"I hate death."

Geoff went over to sit next to him and hug him. Ace leaned into him, needing to be held.

 

—

 

April 30. So little of the semester remained.

Sam had let us know he was driving back and would arrive just before dark.

That afternoon, I got a text from Donny. "Chas is spending most of the night with his girlfriend. Want to make the most of it here?"

That was the brightest news I had in a week.

We had two more hours until Chas was going to return.

"We got our tests back from the clinic. It was what we figured all along," Donny said. "Since we're safe, I want to ... hm. I'm not sure what I want."

"How would you feel about us both ... kind of ... doing each other?"

"Like ... switch ... during?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Okay."

Within minutes, a towel and lube were in place, and Donny and I were making out like mad. The room was darkened, but we left one lamp on so that we could enjoy seeing each other.

I heard a text come in on my phone. Who cared? We were about to make love.

"I need you, Aiden," Donny said between kisses. "I'm so glad we got the results back. The thought of you coming inside me ... it just has me all worked up."

I kissed him some more. It was loud kissing. I took my lips off his. "Are we going to be able to do this without rooms next door hearing?"

"I've got an idea." Donny scrambled from the bed. "I'll turn on Chas' stereo."

"Not crazy loud. We don't want anyone banging on the door to turn it down."

"Right."

Donny fiddled with a few flash drives near the stereo. "This one is hard rock, I think."

My boyfriend turned on the stereo and inserted the playlist. Once it started, he turned up the volume just enough to disguise voices being heard. It wasn't blaring, but it was loud enough.

He returned to his bed, looking rather playful. He straddled my navel. He reached behind him to feel my stiff rod. He let it glide through his crack, moving back and forth to make it slide up and down. I reached forward to grip his cock.

"Man, I love feeling this. I wonder if I could get a doctor's note for it to be my emotional support penis."

Donny chuckled. "You're so goofy." He leaned over and kissed me. "And I love that you are."

We took turns with one of us being on top of the other, simply kissing. Feeling. My fingers roamed through his hair. Donny's hand rubbed through my weekend stubble.

The music drowned out our loud kissing.

I was above him, my tongue deep into his mouth. His fingernails scratched my back. I rubbed my dick through his bush. Our skin felt so warm touching each other. We moaned in the freedom of knowing we would soon fuck without condoms, safely. Warmly. Lovingly. Passionately. Erotically.

The music drowned out our moaning.

I lifted and stretched one of his legs, turning him slightly on his side. I put lube on my fingers and probed his exposed hole. "I love your ass," I said.

"Unngh," he groaned as my fingers wriggled inside him. "Please. Fuck me. I need you."

I moved up behind him. I squirted more lubricant and coated my cock. I had no hesitation. I pushed my erection into him. We both groaned.

The music drowned out our groaning.

My arm kept his body pressed into mine. His hand covered my hand, holding it to his chest. My pinky teased his nipple. I kept thrusting my cock into him. The whole length slid in and out. Coldplay's "A Sky Full of Stars" started playing. I knew the words. I sang them in his, but the lyrics were punctuated in my lustful thrusts.

The music drowned out my singing.

My dick was throbbing. It was a stick of dynamite inside his hole. I so wanted to come, but that wasn't the plan this time.

"Too close," I said, pulling out.

"God, that was so good," he lamented.

"Your turn."

He reached for his lube. I placed my body on the towel and watched him slide clear, coconut-scented shininess on his erection. His thick, beautiful erection.

"Put some on my hole," I breathed.

For a full minute, Donny played with my entrance. My legs were spread wide, and I enjoyed watching him prepare me. His glistening cock bounced in its stiffness when his fingers prodded me, poked me, fucked me.

"Now, Donny. I'm ready, baby. Stick that marvelous dick in my ass."

I pulled my legs up and open. My lover centered his body between them. I knew this was trickier than just doing it from behind, but I wanted to watch my boyfriend make love to me. I wanted our eyes to hypnotize each other.

Slowly he entered me. My butt was prepared for it. I didn't jerk in pain this time. I welcomed it. "Ungh!" he cried out when the last inch was consumed by ass.

The music drowned out his grunting.

Donny was on his elbows, pushing his rigid organ within me. He looked down, his gaze aimed at my chest.

"Look at me," I said.

He did. Our eyes locked. We smiled.

"I love you fucking me," I whispered.

"I love you," he whispered back.

Our necks strained for us to kiss. We moaned in our kissing as it was accompanied by his pile-driving shaft.

The music drowned out our moaning.

Donny lifted his head up.

"Uh oh."

He pulled his erection out of me. He paused. Took a deep breath.

Exhaling, he said, "That was close. You take over again."

Donny got on his hands and knees. I added more liquid to my shaft. Grabbing his hips, I glided in easily. In some ways this position was easier and in some ways it was harder. I shoved my cock in him, but I wanted to do more than just hold his waist. I wrapped my arms to hug his body. I felt like a dog humping another one in heat. I kept fucking him. Fucking like there was no tomorrow.

The music drowned out our fucking.

I pulled out. "I want to look at you."

My hands gripped him and flipped him over, down on his back. His legs opened, and my cock pierced him once again. This position is what I wanted. I leaned down to place my forehead on his. We both grunted into the other's face, loving the sensations of our sexual euphoria. Grunting. Thrusting. Moaning. Loving.

His arms were curled under mine, holding my shoulders. His face was resting next to mine, both of us trying to get enough oxygen, as my dick felt like I had peed on a live wire. I was entering the point of no return. I pulled out.

"Sooo close," I explained.

The music drowned out my sexual reasoning.

We switched.

"I want you back inside," I said.

Donny lubricated his cock and stroked it a few times to get fully hard again.

I lifted up, legs in the air. As the first notes of "Uptown Funk" started playing, Donny penetrated me. We both cried out.

His thickness filled me. It made my body whole. My hands roamed his backside as he drove his manhood inside me. I felt his skin. I felt his warmth. I felt his love. I felt his masculinity. I felt his sex.

"Aaaaiiiden," he whimpered. "This feels so good."

He kissed me. His mouth mauled me. His dick impaled me. It was a sexual bedlam neither of us had felt before. Our bodies were a raging machine.

Donny's thrusts synced to music almost as if he were dancing with me, inside me. He grunted as he shoved his cock harder. Faster.

"Fuck me. Fuck me hard," I said into his ear.

The lyrics of the song were building to a finish.

Donny looked into my eyes. In them, I saw his orgasm build. He didn't have to say it. He plunged his mouth onto mine and screamed into my throat.

I wondered if I would actually feel the cum inside me. I didn't. But I knew it was pumping in me. His love was shooting through my body. His hips probably thrusted longer than his cock was shooting jizz, but I wanted him to keep fucking me. For eternity.

The song ended. The music had drowned out his orgasm.

"I lasted through a whole song," he smiled. "Not that that is great ... but it was better."

"I loved it. I loved that you could unload inside me."

"My turn. I want you to come in me."

"Are you sure? Even after you have finished?"

"I've been obsessing about it since we went to have our test done." We looked at each other sincerely, and he nodded. "Fuck me some more."

The music drowned out our conversation.

He lay on his belly, preparing for me to complete our lovemaking. I rubbed more lube on the entrance to his hole.

I went in. His body slightly tensed. I was concerned that the passion of the moment had passed, and his body would not want an intruder.

"Are you still okay?"

"Do it."

A louder song had been playing. I knew it was by Imagine Dragons, but I couldn't remember the title. I didn't care about the title. I cared about fucking.

The Force of my fucking became stronger. I put my right arm under Donny, right underneath his throat. I pulled him toward me. I hoped I wasn't hurting him. My cock inside him, my arm surrounding him — I wanted us to be one.

How did this feel so good?

My cock felt so good.

My groin felt so good.

My heart felt so good.

My brain felt so good.

My entire being felt so good.

"Fuck, Donny. This feels amazing. I love being inside you so much."

Like a battering ram to his ass, my cock pummeled him. I was grateful he took it. Having already come, this was physically demanding on him.

I groaned into his neck, feeling my climax begin to build.

"Ohhhh, Donny."

"Come in me, Aiden."

"Donny!"

"Come inside me."

"Donny."

"Fill me."

I cried out. "Ungh! Donny! Ungh! Ungh! Donny. Ohhh! Donny. Donny. Ungh. Donny. Ohhhhhhhhh, fuck. Donny."

I hoped the music drowned out my boyfriend's name.

I didn't get off him. My weight crushed him. My arm still had a loving headlock around him. I kissed the back of his head.

"That was the best orgasm of my life."

"I thought we were pretty hot."

I didn't move.

"Don't take your dick out," he pleaded in a whisper. "I like it plugging me up."

"Well, that won't last much longer."

"I'll take it for as long as I can," he joked.

A minute later, my penis informed me: "We're done."

I crawled off of my boyfriend. I went to the sink to get a warm cloth to wipe our parts. I saw Donny examining the sheets.

"Anything?"

"Not that I can tell, but they are probably due to be washed anyway."

A text came in on his phone. He ignored it.

He stretched his arm out, and I moved my naked body next to his naked body.

"Tonight was pretty outstanding," he said.

"It was. I can't give credit to just a lock of condoms though."

"We brought our A game, that's for sure."

"We'll have to thank Chas' girlfriend's roommate."

He laughed. "And Chas' playlist."

I got up to turn off the music. I returned to quiet, simple intimacy. He wrapped his arms around me. I gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"I've been wanting to ask you something," he softly said.

"Um hm."

"We love each other. I was wondering ... can we be roommates next year?"

Trumpets blared through my skull!

Next year? Without Corey?! My heart neared a panic attack. How could I not have Corey as my roommate?! Just the thought of leaving Corey terrified me.

But it wasn't if I would be leaving him. Or was it?

"Wow. Babe, that's sweet. I do love you. But ... I'd need to think about it. Corey's my best friend. I'd hate to just hang him out to dry."

"I know you two mean a lot to each other."

"Right. But my friends at Dunne and everything."

"I get it. I could transfer over there. I like your friends."

My gut was a hornet's nest.

Two more texts came in.

"Good grief," I said, sitting up. "What's going on?"

I grabbed my phone.

"Shit!"

"What is it?"

"Something happened! Corey and Forrest were taken to the hospital!"

 

 

* * * *

 

One chapter remains!

I wasn't expecting to do a blog post, but readers can look for the post "I Don't Want to Talk" at timothylane414stories.blogspot.com

As always, I enjoy hearing from you; timothylane414@gmail.com