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Reminder: My stories are always total fiction. Yet some real events and some real places may be used to add reality.

Comments and criticisms are encouraged. This story deals with how an evangelical minister deals with his homosexuality. It is quite different from other tales I have written for nifty.org. I'd especially like to have your reaction. I will answer all your emails. Please write me at macoutmann@yahoo.com.

PASTOR JOE

by Macout Mann

IV

Joe was becoming more comfortable in his skin. He accepted that he was gay and could do nothing to change that. At the same time he was becoming more enamored of the idea of a career in the ministry. His affection for Ron was also growing day by day, although seldom did it manifest itself sexually. Only when Ron held his hand or embraced him.

All of these facts came home with a vengeance when he returned home for the summer. He missed Ron terribly. Although he tried, he found himself unable to resist Malcolm's overtures. When they met for the first time, Malcolm groped him, and he was unable to resist.

"Well, maybe you've learned something in college after all," Malcolm teased.

"I have realized that I'm me," Joe responded.

Not to say that he was really comfortable having sex with the boys back home. But it became even more difficult to be chaste, when at a Baptist Training Union meeting he was introduced to a new member of his church. He was a gorgeous nineteen-year-old, and as Joe shook his hand, Malcolm whispered in his ear, "He likes to get fucked."

It became even worse, when Joe began to fantasize that it was Ron he was having sex with, whenever he was screwing with Malcolm or even Wilbur, the new guy.

At the same time, he began to concentrate more and more on his "calling." The warm glow that he received at his baptism hadn't gone away, as he felt it had with many of his friends. He had an urge to "spread the Word." Ron somehow had made that feeling more intense. So while he prayed to be forgiven for his "sins" with Malcolm and Wilbur and others, he was still drawn to make an appointment with the pastor of his home church.

"Reverend," he said, "I feel that I'm called to be a preacher."

That declaration began a period of discernment that would end with Joe's ordination over a year later.

The congregational polity of the Baptist denominations will seem strange to many Christians. In most churches a bishop or other ecclesiastical authority first determines the candidate's suitability for ministry. This process may even involve a psychological examination. The candidate is then enrolled in a seminary or at the least provided with other training. Upon its completion he may then be ordained.

The Baptists often do ordination first. The most important step in the process is the candidate's "call." Once the individual congregation determines that he is truly called to ministry, it may ordain him in a ceremony where each member lays hands on the candidate. Then he may attend seminary, but he may also be called to a pastorate without further education. The Holy Ghost will guide his preaching, it is believed. And to Baptists preaching is the essential feature of the ordained ministry.

Before the summer was over Joe was examined first by his pastor and then by members of the Board of Deacons, who represent the congregation as a whole in the day to day government of the church. Ultimately, it is the congregation that will vote to proceed with the ordination. Neither Joe nor the deacons were in any great hurry to complete the discernment.

As soon as he returned to campus, Joe told Ron about his decision. Ron was thrilled. He embraced his protégé and planted a kiss squarely on his lips, which had a predictable effect on Joe's nether region. Instinctively, he kissed back, more passionately.

"No, not now," Ron cautioned.

They began to plan changes in Joe's course of study. He would need to take Greek, ancient Middle Eastern history, Ethics. There were any number of undergraduate courses that would give Joe a leg up, when he entered seminary.

Joe also found that there was a new junior transfer student on his floor at the dorm. He was something else. So tall that he had to bend over to avoid hitting the chandelier in the common room. Over two hundred and fifty pounds and all muscle, proportioned like God intended men to be. Luke Mason was his name.

Joe and Luke immediately seemed to be drawn to one another. He had attended Harding University, an evangelical college associated with the Churches of Christ and located in Arkansas. Luke had been its star football player. Although it was a Division Two school, Luke could easily have gotten an athletic scholarship as a freshman at any number of Division One powerhouses. His parents, however, had wanted him to attend Harding.

"So why did you transfer over here?" Joe asked.

"Aint no reason to hide it," Luke answered. "Harding found out I was gay and expelled me. So then my folks kicked me out. Kentucky's letting me go to school on a football scholarship, so I can get by with a little help from some friends back home."

"That's awful," Joe responded.

"So you aint goanna tell me to go fuck myself, 'cause I'm gay?"

"Look, man, I'm gay too. I dunno what I'd do if my folks found out. And on top of that I'm trying to become a preacher."

"Hell, it was a preacher that got me started," Luke admitted.

Luke immediately began to think that they might get together. And Joe immediately invited Luke to join the Baptist Campus Ministry. Although members of Churches of Christ feel that only they would go to heaven, "when the trumpet sounds up yonder," Luke's bad experience with his denomination led him to gladly accept Joe's invitation.

Ron was as enamored with Luke as Joe was.