Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2005 10:28:00 -0600
From: Roy <roynm@mac.com>
Subject: Phalen, Chapter 4

An early version of this story was originally posted in February 2005 in
the College section on Nifty.  It is now located in a file entitled
"Phalen-Original" This new version "fleshes-out" many of the characters and
seeks to address items I felt were lacking in the original. The essence of
the story remains the same.

----------

This story contains portrayals of homosexual actions and lifestyles.  There
may be references to, or explicit descriptions of, sex between consenting
adults.

If homosexuality, sexually explicit language, or swearing offends you, or
if reading material that contains these topics violates any law or personal
or religious beliefs, you must exit now without proceeding further.

If you are under 18 years of age, you may not read this story because it is
against the law.

This story is entirely fictional, and any resemblances to actual persons
are completely coincidental.


Roy roynm@mac.com


----------


Phalen, Chapter Four


It had been a difficult night for me. I had continued to think of Helen, of
my parents, and of my sexual past. Then I had begun to worry about how much
I was worrying. When I finally did fall asleep I was awakened by a
nightmare. Helen was yelling at me and Larry was holding me down. It was a
rough night, indeed. The bedclothes were a mess, the result of my tossing
and turning. I was tangled in the sheet, which probably had resulted in my
nightmare of being held down.

I turned over, intending to snuggle up next to Phalen for some comfort, and
realized that he wasn't in bed. He must have been gone for some time,
because the sheets were cool to the touch.

I sat up and looked out the window, still trying to shake off the effects
of my nightmare. The sky was pink with the first hint of morning and the
birds had begun to sing. The clock read 5:30. --- Something was definitely
wrong. Where was he?

Phalen loathed mornings. He wouldn't be up that early without a good
reason. Perhaps he was more troubled by his mother's behavior than I had
thought.

I wondered what was going on as I continued to untangle myself from the
sheets. Finally free, I stood up. I was still groggy from my restless
night. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes in an attempt to clear my head a
little before going further.

The brick floor was cold under foot as I walked to the bathroom. It was
empty. I hadn't expected to find him in the bathroom, but it was the
nearest room that I could check.

The rest of the house was as dark and empty as the bathroom. As I passed
the front door, I noticed the house alarm had been turned off. The blinking
light indicated one of the doors to the patio was open.

'Why would he be outside?' I thought, heading toward the backyard. Passing
the kitchen, I smelled coffee and was reassured.  Now that I knew he was
well enough to have a cup of coffee, I wondered why he was up so
early. Even though we were on vacation, I had never known Phalen to get up
before 7:30 at the earliest. If given the opportunity, he would probably
play all night and sleep all day.

I approached the open door and looked outside. Phalen was sitting on one of
the chairs, his feet up on the seat of another. His hand rested on the
table, and was holding a cup of coffee which was no doubt cold. He appeared
to be awake, but was staring, unmoving, into space, oblivious to his
surroundings.

I walked outside, making a small amount of noise to alert him to my
presence. He didn't turn his head or make any move to let me know he knew I
was there. 'Stranger and stranger,' I thought. I had become accustomed to
the smiling, joking side of Phalen. This behavior was totally
unexpected. He almost seemed to be in a trance.

I moved a chair so that I could sit facing him, hoping to receive some form
of recognition. Still no reaction. His eyes were open, but his face lacked
any expression.

"Phalen," I said quietly. "Are you okay?"

He turned to face me, apparently seeing me for the first time. He shook his
head, looking utterly miserable. He had been crying. The tears were still
wet on his cheeks and on his chest.

I took one of his hands and moved my chair closer, "Babe, what's wrong?
Tell me what's going on."

He took a shuddering breath and tried to begin. He held out his arms to me,
drawing me close, and buried his face in my shoulder.  "Mom's gone," he
said, and then began to sob.

"Gone?"

He sniffed and nodded. "I --- I called Dad last night after you were
asleep.  I asked him what was going on between him and Mom. I had to know,
Jeff. I wasn't going to be able to sleep until I found out. At first he
pretended that he didn't know what I was talking about, but after a few
moments he told me that Mom had decided on the spur of the moment to visit
her mother. Dad said Mom wanted to get away by herself for a few days.

"He didn't seem right, Jeff. Something's going on. After I spoke with Dad,
I called Grandmother so I could ask Mom what was happening. Grandmother
said Mom wasn't there. She wasn't aware that Mom was planning on driving up
to see her. Now she's worried too.

"After I spoke with Grandmother, I knew that I couldn't go to sleep, and
would only bother you if I went back to bed, so I came out here to think."

"Phalen, you've been out here since then?"

He nodded, then sniffed and rubbed his eyes and looked around at the pink
sky. "It's almost morning?  I didn't intend to sit out here all night."

"Why didn't you let me know you were worried? I would have stayed with
you. Maybe we could have figured something out. --- Phalen, things are
rarely as awful as they seem. You probably imagined all sorts of things,
sitting out here in the dark all by yourself."

"I didn't want you to see me cry, Jeff." He took another halting breath and
wiped his eyes. "I'm feeling one of those insecurity things we talked about
yesterday. I didn't want you to know. I feel like a kid. I'm acting like a
big baby. I'm grown-up. I shouldn't be acting like this," he said, sniffing
again.

"Phalen, I don't care if you're crying. If you feel bad you've got to let
me know. I don't know what I can do, other than give you my support and
hold you, but you can't face things alone. We can try and figure out what
to do together, and at least you wouldn't be imagining something terrible
has happened to your mother. Besides, I enjoy holding you, and I know I
always think things seem better when you're holding me."

"Look who's giving me advice to not face things alone," he said, trying to
smile. "You should take your own advice, Jeff. You don't sit outside in the
dark, but you don't let me in either.

"You don't think I'm acting like a little kid? --- I --- I don't want ---
want you to think I'm just a kid. Guys aren't supposed to cry like this,
are they?"

"You're not acting like a kid, Phalen. You're worried about your mother;
anyone would be brought to tears with worry. There's nothing wrong with
you."

"Even you, Jeff, with the way you feel about your mother? Would you cry if
you thought something happened to her?"

I thought a moment, and then had to admit, "Yeah, probably even me. Phalen,
my mother and I have never been close. I hope that one day that may change,
but sure, I would worry if I thought something had happened to her. Hell, I
worry about her and Dad now.

"Phalen, your mother will be back. There's a logical explanation for her
not being at your grandmother's. I'm sure of it."

"He lied to me, Jeff. Dad lied to me. I'm angry with him.  He's never told
me a lie. I knew something was wrong yesterday when we were talking to them
out on the driveway. I knew that something was going on. They were on their
best behavior because you were there, but Mom was angry about
something. I'm pretty good at reading people, especially Dad and Mom. I
wonder if I've done something wrong.  You think?

"She gets like this sometimes for no reason. She stomps around making Dad
and me miserable. Then Dad apologizes and things are better for a
while. Dad's always buying flowers or something. I don't think she
appreciates what he does for her though.  You know, Jeff, if she were a guy
she'd be just like Jake! Isn't that an awful thing to say about your own
mother?

"She can be awful sometimes. No one likes being around her when she's
mad. But Jeff, she's my mom. Even so, sometimes I don't like the way she
behaves. I told her that once, and she said there were times she didn't
like the way I behaved either, so we were even! I apologized for what I
said, but it didn't help. She's always been like that. If she were someone
I'd just met, I wouldn't like her, but she's my mom, Jeff. She and Dad and
you are all I've got."

"Phalen," I said, holding both of his hands, "if I treated you like she
does would you let me? Just 'cause she's your mother doesn't mean she can
treat you and your father like she does."

"You're right, I know. I don't know why Dad puts up with her behavior. She
just pushes him around, and he lets her!"

He stared past my shoulder for a few moments, lost in thought. "She can't
be mad at me. I haven't been around her to do anything wrong. She and Dad
must be having a disagreement. Dad never argues though, only Mom. She can
have an argument even when no one else is in the room. I hate that about
her. I don't want her to be mad at me, Jeff.

"She's never left before," he said, looking at me. His lips were quivering
in an attempt to not start crying again. "She's not an easy woman to be
around Jeff, but she's my mother. I can't help feeling this way."

"Phalen . . . "

"Dad lied!" Phalen shouted in an abrupt change of mood. "He goddamn fucking
lied to me!"

"Phalen --- please."

"Please what? What's going on that he had to lie to me?" He took me in his
arms again, and wept. Phalen's view of his father as the perfect man had
just been shattered.

The realization that my father was only human had come to me when I was
still a child. I remember crying too when I figured out that my father
could not, or would not, protect me. By now, I was accustomed to thinking
of my father as a human being. This was a new experience for Phalen. Until
now Larry had been perfect. Now he was merely human. Phalen needed time to
come to grips with the new perceptions.

"Phalen," I said, rubbing his back, "listen to me for a moment. You don't
know that Larry lied. Your mother may have told him she was going to her
mother's and she changed her mind. Rather than sit out here, why don't you
call your mother on her cell and ask *her* what's going on? Also, give your
father a chance. Don't condemn him without speaking with him first. He
deserves that."

"I guess you're right," he said, trying to stop crying and succeeding only
in starting to hiccough. "I'm just mixed up, Jeff. I don't like feeling
this way.  I didn't even think --- think of calling her cell number I'm
probably --- probably being stupid."

"Don't say that, babe. You may be right about your father, but you need
some more information before you make any judgments. Ask him about those
things you think are going on. You know that he's a good guy. He'll tell it
like it is."

"You think?" he said, sounding like a little boy.

"Sometimes, yes I do," I joked.

"Listen to him," Phalen said, looking up to the sky. "I'm falling apart and
he's joking."

"That sounds more like my boyfriend."

"Am I --- am I your --- boyfriend?" he hiccoughed.

"Of course you are, sexy man. I don't get up at the crack of dawn and let
just *anybody* cry all over me. I only do that for my favorite man."

"Oh Jeff," he said, holding me tight. "I told you I cried easily. I just
never --- never figured I'd give you a demonstration so soon. Thank you for
talking some sense into me. I think you're the best."

"C'mon, Phalen, let's go inside and take a shower and get you a hot cup of
coffee. When you're feeling better you can make a couple phone calls,
okay?"

"You just want to see me naked," he said, rubbing his eyes again and
sniffing.

"I always want to see you naked, hot man. But I don't have to coax you into
a shower to do that. I'm looking at your naked body right now."

He looked down at himself, acting surprised at what he saw. "Oh, I guess
you're right. --- I forgot. Well, I think you're sexy too."

"Who said anything about sexy?"

He slapped me on the back. "Oh Jeff, you're getting me confused."

"Good, it makes *me* feel better. I'm the one that's normally confused."

"I guess I do need some more coffee. I don't understand what you're talking
about."

"First, you need to stand up," I said, pulling him to his feet. "Then you
need a good-morning kiss. I've gone an awful long time without kissing
those gorgeous lips. You know, now that I see you close up, you are kinda
sexy," I teased. "Someone told me you were a good kisser. I want to find
out for myself," I said, holding him close and kissing him gently.

When we broke our kiss, I shook my head.

"What's wrong, Jeff?"

"I think I'm going to have to try that kissing thing some more. I couldn't
really tell how good you are after just one try. Maybe you aren't in your
best form right now --- you think?"

"Jeff, you're crazy, you know that?"

"And you're pretty wonderful too," I said, holding his hand as we walked
inside.

"You know, Jeff, we're always telling each other how great we are. You'd
think neither of us believed it of ourselves."

"It doesn't matter whether we believe it or not, Phalen. It's always nice
to hear someone say you're special, don't you think? The moment I saw you,
I thought 'special.' Well actually, first I thought 'handsome',
'great-smile, 'beautiful eyes', and 'round butt, yum.' *Then* I thought
'special.' It must be tough for you to have to live with being all those
things *and* be special too. We all have our burdens to bear, I
guess. Yours is pretty onerous, I admit."

"Onerous, Jeff? Are you trying to impress me?" he asked, dumping out the
old coffee and pouring himself a fresh cup. He took a sip and made a face,
but didn't begin a fresh pot.

"Hey, I just learned that word yesterday. I was dying to use it on you. You
know something, Phalen?"

"No, what?"

"You're smiling again, and I didn't even have to tickle you."

"I'm just smiling at how hard you're working at trying to make me laugh,
and you had better not tickle me. I thought you learned your lesson the
last time you tickled me."

"Oh yeah. That was a brand new rug too!" I teased, moving quickly to avoid
a swat.

"Now, since you're already naked, get in the shower." I opened the shower
door and turned on the water full-force.

"Aren't you coming in too?"

"Sure I am. Tell me when the water's warm. Now, let's get this show on the
road," I said, giving his butt a smack.

"Wait till your asked!" Phalen giggled as he moved quickly to avoid another
swat. "Remember what happened the last time you spanked me?"

"No, but maybe you could show me sometime."

"Oh yeah," I remember now. "I was only dreaming that you spanked me! I can
be a pretty bad boy, you know."

"I know, but I think we can wait until a little later to relieve your
sexual urges. We've got other things to deal with this morning.

"You want to be spanked? You're even more kinky than I thought." I found I
liked the idea of giving Phalen's bare butt a swat or two, however.  'That
butt is pure muscle,' I thought, while watching it flex as he stepped into
the shower.

"You always want me to wait!  Am I going to have to wait till I'm nineteen
before I can get relief? And I am not kinky. I just want to try everything
before I settle on what I really like. You just want me to wait for
everything."

I shuddered, instantly losing my erection at what I took to be his
reference to having to wait for anal sex. That may not have been what he
was thinking, but my reaction was instantaneous, nevertheless. "Phalen,
you're almost nineteen now."

"That means I have to wait, huh?"

He was pretty quiet as we took a shower. I wasn't sure whether he was
thinking about his mother, his father, or how I continually deflected the
conversation when I felt it was approaching the topic of anal sex. It was
always difficult to shower with Phalen without eventually having
sex. Today, it was especially bad. I wanted to have 'real' sex with Phalen
so badly I was aching. Up till then we had engaged in heavy foreplay. I
wanted more than that and I was sure Phalen wanted the same thing. It was
up to me to make it happen. I knew that, but I just didn't know how I would
overcome my memories.

"Damn, I think you're sexy," I said, hugging him from behind and nuzzling
his neck as the showerheads sprayed us. My penis was pressed between his
ass cheeks.  'Now would be the perfect time,' I thought. Phalen, oblivious
to my turmoil, had taken one of my hands and brought it to his lips,
kissing my palm. I continued to nuzzle his neck.

After giving my hand a kiss, he held it in front of his face. I spread my
fingers wide, wondering what he was thinking. He turned my hand, viewing it
from many angles, then brought it to his mouth and began sucking on my
thumb, humming deep in his throat. I was instantly hard. The simple act was
so sensual. "You know something Jeff?" he said, once again examining my
hand.

"No, what?" I murmured in his ear.

"One day soon, when we've got this thing with Mom straightened out, I would
like for us to go someplace and spend a couple days doing nothing but
making love. --- I don't mean having sex. I mean making love. I want to
feel these hands on me with no fears of being interrupted by the phone or
Dad or anyone else. Just us. I want to kiss you, Jeff, and hold you. I want
to show you how much I care for you.  Too many things are hanging over our
heads right now for us to be able to get away, though. Let's see if we can
get all of those things cleared up and out in the open soon, so we can go
someplace where no one knows us and make love like we both want."

"Ummm. That sounds nice, Phalen. I'd like to go right now."

"We have to get all those things cleared up first, Jeff. --- You know what
I mean?"

"I know."

"First though, I have to handle my problem with Dad and Mom. And, I need to
finish my shower," he said, turning around and giving me a brief
kiss. "We're standing here wasting water. We can't do that. We're a desert,
you know."

"Then I'll let you finish. When you get out, I want you to shave before you
call your mom. You'll feel better after a shower and shave.  She may be up
by the time you get done, okay? Besides, once you've shaved I won't get
whisker-burn. --- I'm going out to pick up a paper."

He nodded and continued to let the hot water relax him.

I quickly dried myself, threw on a pair of shorts, and ran over to Larry's
barefooted. I rang the bell a couple times before he answered, bleary-eyed,
looking just like Phalen in the morning. I didn't have time to tease him
about the resemblance, though.

"Jeff! Is everything okay?"

"No, Larry, it's not. I need to come in," I said, walking past him into the
house. "Phalen's in the shower so I have to be quick."

"What's going on, Jeff?"

"Larry, Phalen thinks you lied to him about Helen going to her mother's."

Larry's expression turned grim, then he nodded for me to continue.

"He's mad as hell, Larry, but mostly he's hurt, thinking that you lied to
him. He called his grandmother late last night and she didn't know where
Helen was. Phalen's been on the patio crying all night. I just discovered
him a short while ago and convinced him to shower and shave before calling
anyone. I don't know if you misled Phalen or not, but I wanted you to know
he's hurting right now and may lash out at you. I better go. I'm going to
take your paper," I told him, running out onto his lawn. "That's why I was
supposed to be going out."

"Jeff, thanks for the heads-up."

"Don't hurt him, Larry. Neither he nor I would like that," I said as I
trotted back to the house.

Phalen was just stepping out of the shower when I came back inside.

"Well, there's no use reading this morning's newspaper," I said as Phalen
dried himself. "I swear! I bet if we read a newspaper from fifty years ago
the news would be the same! Only the names have changed."

I folded the newspaper, setting it down and looked up at Phalen. "I'm glad
you're finally out," I teased. "If you had stayed in there any longer you'd
have shriveled up." I made a point of looking at his penis. "On second
thought, if *that's* shriveled, I'd hate to think what it was like before
you got *into* the shower!"

"Thanks, Jeff," he said, beginning to lather his face.

"For what?"

"For trying to cheer me up. You're the best."

"No, Phalen, you are. I hate to see you so sad. We'll get this all sorted
out, you'll see. --- Want some breakfast?"

He nodded and began shaving.

I was preparing something to eat when Phalen wandered out to the kitchen
and sat down. He was idly spinning a knife in a circle on the table when
his cell rang. He jumped up and grabbed the cell from the counter in one
motion.

"It's Mom!" he said, as he opened the phone.

"Mom, are you okay? --- I called Grandmother and she said she didn't know
where you were. Dad said you'd gone for a visit, but it's tax time. Mom, I
was worried," he said as he began crying. "Are you coming back?"

I stood behind him and held him loosely, giving him my support no matter
what she said.

I listened to the one-sided conversation and tried to guess if Larry had
prompted Helen's call. I had only met Phalen's mother once, and already I
didn't like her. I hoped that she was telling her son what he needed to
hear, though I found it difficult to believe she would. I knew I wasn't
being fair to her, but I didn't care. At the moment all I wanted was for
Phalen to feel better. I didn't care how it happened; I just didn't want
him to be so upset.

"Okay, Mom, I will. You do the same, okay?  --- I love you Mom," he said,
closing the phone. We stood there for a few moments longer.

"Jeff, I feel like *shit*," he said, sitting down at the table and putting
his head down.

"Phalen, what did she say? Tell me. --- Are you feeling better?"

"I don't know what I feel. I talked to her, but she didn't tell me
anything. All I know is that she's alive. That's it! I talked to her for
five minutes and didn't learn a damn thing!"

He stood up and began pacing back and forth in the dining room. "What is
she thinking? I'm sitting here worried out of my mind and she tells me
everything is okay. --- Well, I've got news for her. Everything is *not*
fucking okay. I am *mad*," he said, shouting and waving his arms. "I'm mad
at Mom. I'm mad at Dad. I'm so mad I could --- I could --- I could,
*spit*."

"Phalen."

"Jeff, be quiet. Let me scream for a few minutes, okay? What does she think
she's doing running off like that and not letting me know what's going on?"

Suddenly he stopped shouting, sat down and looked at me with a stricken
expression. Then he began to laugh.

I watched the play of emotions he was experiencing. I was totally confused,
so I said nothing.

"Do you know what's so funny, Jeff?" he asked, continuing to laugh.

I shook my head, completely confused.

I sound like *her*. --- Oh, I guess that's not funny, is it?"

"You mean she does this kind of thing often? --- Waving of the arms and
everything?"

"Well, sometimes, but I mean I'm behaving like she's not old enough to go
off on her own without telling me where she's going, and why. Jeff, I
thought she wasn't coming back, that she was leaving me. It was like I had
done something wrong and she didn't love me any more."

"Phalen, I still don't know if we've had good news or bad news. You're on
some kind of emotional roller coaster and I can't keep up. Tell me what's
going on."

"That's it!" he said, once again standing up and beginning to pace. "I
don't know. --- She says she left for Grandmother's but hasn't gotten there
yet. --- She says she loves me, to be a good boy, listen to Dad, wash
behind my ears, eat a good breakfast, sit up straight and don't run with
scissors."

"Phalen, she didn't say those things!"

"Not the scissors part. I made that one up, but you get the idea. She's
treating me like a child that's too young to understand what's on her
mind."

"Do you know when she'll be coming home?"

"No."

"Why she left so suddenly?"

"Nope. I don't know a fucking thing. --- *Damn*, I'm mad again."

"Why, Phalen? You got what you wanted. Why be mad? You know your Dad didn't
lie to you. That's important. He did *not* lie to you. You learned your
mother is okay and is headed to your grandmother's house, and you heard her
say she loves you. I think you've done pretty damn well, and it's not even
seven o'clock in the morning. Normally you haven't staggered into the
bathroom to pee yet. So don't bitch. Things are going well!" --- I didn't
know what else to say, but I needed an ending. I thought quickly. "So
there!"

"So there?" he laughed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you can't figure it out, I'm not telling," I said. "Just don't be
mad. You've no right."

"Okay, Jeff," he said, standing up, walking over to me, and giving me a
hug. Thank you for helping me today and for running over to Dad's to let
him know I was angry. That was sweet --- I guess."

"How'd you know?"

"You brought home his evening paper, and you were reading it upside down,
giving me all that stuff about the news being the same today as fifty years
ago. I bet you made that up on the spot, huh?"

"Upside down?"

He nodded. "What did you tell him?"

"That he better not hurt you, or he'd have hell to pay."

"That definitely *is* sweet, Jeff. Thank you for caring so much."

"Phalen, I do."

"And I love you too, big man. --- Do we have anything planned for today? If
not, could we hang out here? I'd like to cuddle after I eat breakfast. Now
that we've solved your problems, I can finally eat something. I'm still a
growing boy, you know."

"My problems!" I shouted, giving his bare butt a swat as he got up to get
another cup of coffee.

"Hey watch it, Jeff. You're dealing with a fragile personality here. These
insecurity things sneak up on a guy, and *wham*, you start imagining things
are worse than they really are, and besides, I think I might enjoy getting
spanked sometime. So unless you're prepared to finish what you start, don't
swat at me."

He began eating his breakfast while I looked on. "Tell me, Phalen, are you
okay with your mother now?"

He stopped chewing and thought for a moment. "No, not really. Something's
going on with her and Dad, and that's bound to affect me. They have their
lives to live, but I don't want to think that they won't always be together
and there for me if I need them. --- Selfish, huh?"

"Phalen, you don't know what's going on yet. You said so yourself. So don't
jump to conclusions, okay? Maybe you should talk to your father about
it. What do you say?

"In fact, maybe today would be a good day to move your stuff. School's
going to start soon and we can get you set up in the spare room. When
you're done eating, why don't you give your father a call and work things
out? I'm going to swim. I need to do it before it gets too hot."

I left Phalen sitting at the dining table finishing his breakfast, and
began working out. I looked up once and he was talking on the phone, pacing
and waving an arm while he talked.  I loved the way he was so animated. He
couldn't speak without describing things with his hands, or making
expansive gestures with his arms. He made love the same way, with his
entire body.

I hoped he was speaking with his father. I couldn't believe that Larry
would do anything to hurt his son, but I *could* believe that he was
experiencing some confused feelings. The way he looked at Phalen yesterday
and the way he played with himself when he thought no one was watching had
to mean something was going on. 'Maybe that was the root of the problem
with Helen,' I thought.

Phalen was sitting in the shade when I finished my workout. He threw me a
towel as soon as I got out of the pool.

"I've been busy," he said.

"Oh?"

"I talked to Dad. Things are okay between us, but we both agree that we
need to talk. I'm not really sure what we're going to talk about, though. I
told him I want you with me when we do. He's cool with that. I also told
him that you've asked me to move in with you and that I've accepted. He
seemed pleased and asked if I needed help moving my junk.

"Jeff, I've never had a strained conversation with Dad before today. I
don't like the feeling. Dad and I have always been best friends. He's not
acting like the same man I know. Maybe it's not only me that's hurting, you
think? Dad has not been really happy for a long time. The first time I saw
him laugh in years, was last night when we were telling jokes. He seemed
surprised at how much fun he was having. I want him to be happy. I wonder
what it'll take."

"It's best not to speculate. Let's wait until he tells us, otherwise we're
wasting our time. Maybe he doesn't even know what it'll take to make him
happy. Anything else happen while I was swimming?"

"Yes, Kerin called to say hi. They're okay. He's looking forward to getting
my birds and bees jokes. He wanted to know if I'd like to work out with him
at the varsity weight room on campus. He said he'd show me around. I told
him I'd get back to him. --- Would you mind?"

"Not at all. I think it's great that he asked you. I'm no good with
weights, and I wouldn't be allowed into the varsity weight room
anyway. Only big-time jocks like you guys are allowed. Don't get any more
beefy though. I like you just the way you are, Mr. Stud."

"Now, you're either going to have to cover yourself up or let me suck you
off," he said. "The big man doesn't stand around naked without getting me
excited."

I just wagged my dick at him. "I can't, Phalen, I'm rubbed raw!"

"You said I was getting better!  If I was biting you, you should have
*told* me!  Here, lemme see how raw you are," he said as he lunged at me,
knocking me over backwards onto the lounge.  He spread my legs and I
watched him prepare to examine me with a mock-serious expression on his
face.

"Yep, not good --- for sure," he said, shaking his head.  "I prescribe no
sex for at least a week.  Looks like you've been using it *way* too much.
We don't want it to fall off or anything, now do we?" He rested his chin on
his hand and sagely shook his head. First though, we gotta drain it.  It
can't be good for it to be all swollen like this." With that, he began
running his fingers lightly underneath, making me shudder.

Phalen got onto his knees between my spread legs and began licking the
inside of one thigh, then the other, finally lapping at my testicles. He
took each one into his mouth, massaging it with his tongue, and then he
licked up the length of my penis, causing me to shudder. When he finally
began sucking on me, I could tell that he was being extra careful not to
touch me with his teeth. Both of us had much to learn about all aspects of
gay sex. I was glad that we both lacked experience so we could learn
together.

The first time Phalen ran his fingers over my hole, I tensed slightly but
was able to control my response. After all, he had touched me there
before. I didn't have anything to fear from him. Besides, I found that I
was looking forward to him touching my hole. I knew that Phalen's asshole
ranked right behind his nipples in sensitivity. My nipples were about as
sensitive as my elbows, but each time he brushed against my pucker I would
writhe and moan with pleasure.

By then I was gripping the sides of the lounge and Phalen was beginning to
concentrate his attention on the head of my dick. When he did that I knew
that he didn't want to swallow but wanted to play with the cum.

His tongue continued to rub the underside of my penis while holding it
unmoving in his mouth. At the same time he ran a finger over my perineum,
then around and over my hole.

We were both moaning and his moans were urging me on. I was whimpering with
the sensations of my approaching orgasm. Finally, I couldn't take any more
stimulation. I arched my back, gave one final groan of pleasure, and began
unloading into Phalen's mouth.

I looked down at him as he finally released my penis, and almost
laughed. He was making a valiant effort to keep his lips tightly sealed,
but jiz was leaking out of both sides of his mouth and was running down his
chin. It dribbled onto my stomach and chest as he crawled over me to share
my load with me. When he reached my mouth, he lowered his body onto me.

I knew what he wanted me to do, so I opened my mouth wide and he slowly
drooled my cum from his mouth into mine. He then brought his lips to mine
and we kissed, trading my cum back and forth.  Finally, he pulled away, a
white strand still connecting us. He used his finger to gather up the juice
and brought it to his mouth, licking his finger clean. "Okay, now swallow!"
he ordered. "I want to watch you swallow your own juice."

I followed his orders, smiling at his wide-eyed expression. "Next time I
want to shoot into your chest hair. I want to smear it around, then give
your chest a tongue-bath," he said quietly as he drew me down for another
sloppy kiss. "Cum is so much fun to play with, huh?"

As we were making out, I reached back and began to play with him, wanting
to prolong the morning's love making.

"Can't, Jeff," he said as he moved my hand away from his penis.  Dad'll be
here any minute.  He's gonna help us move my stuff, remember?"

"But Phalen, we're naked!" I said, scrambling to my feet. "We can't let
your father think we don't do *anything* but have sex. We haven't even
begun to tackle all my junk that needs to be unpacked."

"So, who cares of you're naked --- you're a nudist, remember? And besides,
Dad's seen everything you've got. Well, *almost* everything," he amended.
"Same is true for me.  We can't surprise him.  Not after what he's already
seen."

"Wanna bet?  I imagine that seeing us swapping my jiz as we kissed might be
too much, even for him!" I said, and then headed inside to get some
clothes.

"Why?  I thought it was hot," he said as he walked into the house,
following me.  "Like, way cool.  I'd like to do that with Dad
watching. Wouldn't that be hot?"

"You're a pervert, Phalen," I laughed. "Next, you're going to tell me you
want to have sex with your father."

"What would be wrong with that?"

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"I guess. I mean, we're both adults and no one would be forcing anyone to
do anything, so why not? He's a sexy man, Jeff, in case you've been keeping
your eyes closed. --- I wonder why he's so much taller than me?"

"And bigger too," I teased.

"How would you know?" he asked, following me into the bedroom. "You've been
looking, haven't you? --- Well tell me. Wouldn't it be hot?"

"Hot, what?"

"You know, to do it in front of him --- or maybe with him. I can get hard
just imagining it."

"Phalen, you can get hard when someone says good morning. That's because
you're a pervert. You want to have sex in front of everyone. First it was
Thian and Kerin, now it's your dad. What's next, a sex ed class?

"Now class," I said, imitating a schoolteacher, "Mr. Weston wants to
demonstrate the finer points of gay sex for you. He needs a
volunteer. Anybody *up* for it?"

"No, crazy. I don't want to do anything unless you're there."

"So I can watch you?"

"No, Jeff, so we can demonstrate. I don't want to have sex in front of a
bunch of giggling girls, though."

"And you think your dad or Kerin and Thian wouldn't giggle?"

"What at? And don't tell me my size. First you tell me I'm too big to
handle. Now you're suggesting I'm too small. Make up your mind! Besides,
Dad wouldn't giggle. Now, before you have another smart remark to make, I'm
going outside."

"Bye, stud," I called after him. He waved, but didn't turn around. As he
walked out to the patio, the doorbell rang.

"Hey, Larry," I said, answering the door. "How's it going?"

"Fine, how about here? Phalen doing okay?"

"Better, but he still thinks something's going on. He's out in the back. Do
you think you can find your way?" I teased, gesturing toward the living
room still full of boxes and furniture.

"Why don't you guide me? You guys aren't making much progress in here, are
you?"

"No, we haven't worked on anything today. We've been dealing with Phalen's
concerns. Should I bring the tissues?"

"No, I don't think so. Phalen will be fine," Larry said, looking
around. "You're positive he's outside?"

I nodded.

"Jeff, Phalen has a fear of being abandoned. It has a legitimate cause," he
said in a low voice.

I didn't say anything. I figured if Larry needed to talk I'd let him.

"When Phalen was three, his mother and I separated. Phalen was left with my
parents by court order. After a couple months, Helen and I decided to try
and work out our differences and stay together because of him. We've worked
on doing that for the past fifteen years. Lately, it's been getting tougher
to do --- for both of us.

"Jeff, living with Helen has not been easy for either Phalen or myself. She
can be a difficult woman for me to be around. We're so different. That's
why we originally split up, and it's the cause of the problems we're facing
now. She wasn't like this when we were first married. At least I don't
remember her behaving like she does now. After Phalen was born, things
began to go downhill. She said one time that she didn't want to share me
with anyone. I don't know if that's why she acts like she does, or if she
just enjoys being angry.  I'm getting too tired to worry about it anymore.

"At the time we separated, we thought Phalen was too young to remember
having to stay with his grandmother. Soon after getting back together
though, both Helen and I realized we were wrong in our assumptions. He not
only remembered us not being there, he was terrified of it happening
again. Since then, he has always hated being alone.

"It may surprise you, Jeff, but Phalen doesn't give his affections
easily. I can see that you don't believe me, but it's true. He's afraid
that if he starts to feel something for someone, he might be hurt. That's
one of the reasons I was so surprised when I found that the two of you had
had sex just a couple hours after you met. I wasn't shocked because Phalen
was gay, but because he had reached out to someone so quickly. --- Well, I
must admit the gay part was a bit of a surprise too," he said, grinning.

"I don't want to hurt Phalen, but he needs to face the fact that his mother
and I no longer *must* stay together." He looked up and apparently noticed
Phalen coming inside because his voice changed.

"Are you sure you're going to have room for all of his things?"

"Hi, Dad," Phalen said, coming up to him and giving him a hug. "I apologize
for this morning."

Larry looked puzzled by Phalen's apology.

"I didn't realize that I took your evening paper," I said,
explaining. "Mr. Observant figured that I must have been to see you while
he was still in the shower."

"Oh. That still doesn't explain why you're apologizing."

"I was mad, Dad. I was angry because I thought you had lied to me about Mom
going to Grandmother's. I couldn't believe that you would do that to
me. You've never lied to me before."

Larry placed his hands on his son's shoulders. "Phalen, --- look at me
son. I will *never* tell you a lie. That may mean that sometimes you may
have to hear things you don't like, but you can handle anything, I'm sure
of it. If you have a question to ask me, just ask. I'll tell you the
truth. If you're not sure you can handle the answer, it may be better to
not ask. Agreed?"

Phalen nodded.

"Now, do you have anything to ask me?" Larry said.

Phalen thought a moment, and then shook his head. "Not yet, I guess. But,
thanks for letting me know that I can."

"Okay, now cheer up. Today's moving day!"

"This whole week has been moving day," he said, smiling. "We move things
from that side of the room to this side, then we move them back. Then Jeff
can't seem to keep his hands off of me." He pretended to fend off a blow.

"I bet you love it," Larry teased.

"I'm learning to. I never knew there were so many ways to have sex!"

"Phalen, I don't need the whole story," Larry said.

"Why not? It's a lot more interesting than that birds and bees story you
told me when I was seven. --- Yuck!" he shuddered comically.

"Actually, it can be kind of fun," his father teased.

"No thanks. Jeff is *way* more fun. I'll take him any day."

I was thinking that father and son were once again joking. That was a good
sign.

"Well, I hate to break up this Sex Ed talk," I said, "but we've got moving
to do. The sooner we get started, the sooner it'll end. "

"We spent a good portion of the day cleaning out everything that had been
placed in the spare room, then moving Phalen's things from his old house
and setting up an office for him.

As we were working, my computer-geek friend, Steve, showed up, pleased to
see that we had managed to clear out my office and that the room now
contained only the furniture that it was supposed have in it. He hauled in
all of my computer equipment and began hooking things up. All I could think
was 'more boxes!' I hoped Steve was going to take them with him when he
left. We already had a stack of cardboard shoulder-high in the garage,
waiting for the recycling people to pick up.

I watched as Steve began connecting each piece of equipment. It was going
to be nice to be working on something larger than my laptop. I was going to
feel like I was in computer Nirvana, working in this new room.

When Steve saw us moving furniture into the spare room, setting up an
office for Phalen, he just smiled and gave him a thumbs-up sign, causing
Phalen to laugh.  Steve said, "Told you it wouldn't be long before Jeff had
to find room for you, didn't I? I'm really happy for you guys. You're good
together. I knew you would be moving in the second I met you, Phalen. You
guys are meant for each other.

"Oh, oh, I have to tell the wife!" he said, as he fished in his equipment
bag for his cell.  "She thought it would take a couple more weeks! We had a
bet."

"Are we the subject of discussion at family dinners?" I laughed, watching
him continue to search for his phone.

"Well, kinda.  Oh man, Kathy'll be so pleased, Jeff.  She's always thought
you were really cool and we were both hoping that the right guy'd come
along real quick.  And what do you know?  He *did*!" He laughed, slapping
Phalen on the back, then turned to go outside and call his wife.

"Yeah, well don't you go taking credit for it," Phalen yelled after him.
"If anyone did it, it was my *dad*!"

Steve stopped dead in his tracks.  "Your *dad*?"

Phalen just nodded.

"Way cool, man!  --- Awesome!  Wait till Kathy hears!"

Larry caught only the last part of Steve's comments as he came in carrying
Phalen's Mac.

"What am I supposed to have done that he's going to tell his wife about?"
he said, setting the computer down.

"Nothing really. Steve thinks he's a match maker, but I told him how *you*
got Jeff and me together --- not him." Larry and I looked at each other.
Phalen finally burst out laughing. "What --- you think I couldn't figure it
out?  Dad, when you had all that stuff waiting for me at the front door, I
figured that something was going on.  But when you handed me the beer and
told me that there was no hurry to get home, *that* clinched it.  Don't
look so shocked Dad!  You should give lessons to *Steve*! I'll bet he never
tried *your* technique before.

"Look, Jeff, he's actually blushing!  You really *did* think that I
wouldn't figure it out --- didn't you?"

"Since you asked, Phalen, no, I didn't set you up with Jeff, though I'm
very glad things have worked out as they have, because I've never seen you
so happy. I gave you the beers because I thought maybe the two of you would
need to relax a little bit before you could get to know each other. I never
figured that pepperoni pizza would do just as well as a beer!"

"Well, Dad, if I hadn't had the beer I probably would never have started
wrestling. But, who knows, maybe I would have. After all, Jeff is just so
damn sexy, don't you think?"

"Phalen," I said, giving him a punch on the shoulder, "what a funny thing
to ask your dad."

"Well, I think it's an okay question. You *are* sexy, especially the pits."

"Phalen . . . "

"I think it's an okay question too, Jeff. Don't always assume I'm going to
be embarrassed when you guys talk about sex. I can handle it. --- And to
answer Phalen's question, I think that you're *both* pretty sexy. I was
afraid I was going to get hard yesterday, just looking at you guys. You're
definitely hot --- both of you."

"Dad!"

"Dad, what?" Do you think I can't get it up any more Phalen, or that I'm
too old to be interested in sex? You'd be wrong on both counts."

"Wow, I've never heard you talk like this."

"It's about time you did. Your old man isn't so old that he doesn't like to
get his rocks off."

I wondered where this conversation was headed.

"Dad, have you ever had sex with a guy?"

Now I *knew* where the conversation was headed.

"No, I've never had gay sex," Larry said, perching on a large, unopened
box. "But that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy getting off as much as you
guys. Now, unless we're going to have a circle jerk, we'd better change the
subject."

I looked at Phalen. He got a calculating look in his eyes and opened his
mouth to say something.

"Phalen!"

"Okay."

Larry looked at me. "I probably don't want to know."

"Right."

"Pits?" Larry said.

"Yeah, his arm pits. Yum," Phalen said, licking his lips.

I covered my face. "Geez, Phalen, is nothing private?"

"Sure, I don't talk about the *really* cool stuff."

"Good," Larry interrupted before the talk could go any further. "Jeff, I've
never heard you mention your parents. What do they think of your new
place?"

I noticed Phalen looking at me. Whenever he looked at me like that I felt
as if he were reading my thoughts, and would describe them to me in detail
later.

"Larry, I'm not really very close to my parents, especially my mother. I've
been closer to my father since I left home than when I was living with
him. He thinks the place is great. He tells me that he's been showing the
pics I've sent, to the guys at work.

"Dad and Mom are really distant. I sometimes felt they were living in a
different universe than my brother and me. I always had the physical things
I needed, like books and stuff like that, but I never had much emotional
support from either of them. I envy the easy relationship you and Phalen
have. My dad and I could never speak with each other like you guys do. You
know, I feel lucky to be included in the partnership that you both have.  I
find it's much easier to talk to you than my own father.  Maybe it's
because you really listen to me."

"Did you speak Finnish when you were living at home, Jeff?" Phalen
said. "It seems like such a difficult language, especially compared with
the Spanish that I've had to take in school."

"It's not difficult if you grow up with it.  I learned both English and
Finnish at the same time. My parents had this strange routine where Dad
would always speak Finnish and Mom would always speak English, but my
brother and I had to respond to a Finnish conversation in English and vice
versa.

"It was funny. Sometimes at school, I would automatically respond in
English when a teacher would ask me a question.  Of course, the teachers
were speaking Finnish.  I've always thought in both languages, a difficult
thing to do let me tell you.  Sometimes, even now, I say things in Finnish
without thinking."

"Jeff, what's 'mina rakastan sinua, Phalen' mean?"

"Larry looked at Phalen like he had sprouted horns. "Where'd you hear
that?"

"Jeff says it to me all the time, but he won't tell me what it means. I
think he's calling me names." He looked at me and noticed that I was
uncomfortable. "You *aren't* calling me names, are you?"

"No."

"Then tell me what it means."

"Are you sure? I was planning on telling you, but not like this."

"You mean because Dad's here?"

"I can leave," Larry said, "but I'm curious too."

"Go ahead, Jeff. What's it mean?"

I took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. "It means 'I love you,
Phalen'."

The room was perfectly quiet for a few moments, and then Phalen jumped up,
threw his arms around me and began to cry.

Phalen's outburst was brief, and I continued to hold him, rubbing his back,
until he quieted down. Larry sat quietly, watching us. I wondered what was
going through his mind, but had enough on my own at the moment, to worry
about it too much.

I looked up when Larry cleared his throat. "You guys have a flair for the
dramatic," he said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands. "I must say
that whenever I'm over here, I feel like I've stepped into one of those
television soap operas. An adult soap opera, that is. I never know what the
next day's show will bring."

"Phalen, are you all right?" I asked, rubbing his back as I held him close
to me. He nodded but didn't say anything. He was holding me tightly with
his back to his father. Larry couldn't see that his son had begun licking
my neck.

After a few moments Phalen said, "I've got another question, Jeff." By the
sound of his voice I knew this was going to be good.

"I'm almost afraid to ask what it is," I said. "But go ahead."

"How do you say 'I'm horny'?"

"That's my cue to leave," Larry said, getting up quickly and giving Phalen
a pat on the back. He stopped for a second and squeezed my shoulder. I
looked at him. He smiled, a smile as big as Phalen's, and winked.

"Do you really love me, Jeff?" Phalen asked as his father closed the
door. "You're not just saying that to make me happy, are you?"

"Like your father said earlier, handsome, I will never lie to you."

"But you said that to me the night we met. How could you love me then?"

"Phalen, I didn't really *know* then. I said it as much for myself, as for
you. I wanted to wait until there was absolutely no doubt. I intended to
have a big celebration and to give you the ring I bought for you. I wanted
it to be special for both of us, but especially for you. I hope this
happens only once for either of us."

"It has been special, Jeff. But a dinner or something sounds good. I would
have made a big scene if you'd done this in a restaurant, you know? I'd
rather make the scene at home.

"You're giving me a ring too, Jeff?  You are so sweet. I thought that I was
the only romantic around here. Does that mean we're going to get married?"

"No, we can't do that. Every time you look at it though, you'll know how I
feel about you."

"I don't have anything to give you, Jeff. I feel bad."

"Hell, Phalen, how could you have known what I was planning? Besides, all I
want from you is for you to be happy and to always be as wonderful as you
are right now."

"You'll love me when I'm old and grey, Jeff? When I get sick or something?"

"Yes, Phalen. When you're old and grey, I will love you as much as I do
today, and if you're sick too. It doesn't matter. I'm in this for the long
haul. We're both going to be old and grey one day, you know, and I know
that I personally will be just as charming as I am today. That's one thing
about a winning personality. It never diminishes with age. Don't you
agree?"

"Listen to you! Who said you had a winning personality? I imagine your
hairy chest will always be with you --- but personality?"

"You want a ring, Phalen?"

"Oh, now I remember who mentioned the personality thing. I did! I must have
been talking in my sleep or something --- you think?"

"You're crazy, Phalen. You know that?"

"I'm not crazy, Jeff. I'm trying to get through an emotional moment. It's
how I cope with things. You're getting a crash course in Phalen's
insecurities today."

"Ahem . . . "

"Steve! --- I forgot you were still here. Have you finished Phalen's office
yet?"

"I finished quite a while ago, but you guys were being so beautiful I
couldn't interrupt. Sorry to listen in, but you need to pay attention to
who's in your house before you carry on like that."

"That's what Dad said when he walked in on us having sex, because Jeff left
the front door open, huh Jeff?"

"Your father! You guys certainly don't keep anything private, do you?"

"Yes we do."

"Phalen . . . "

"All the good stuff. Steve, Jeff is an animal in bed. I bet you didn't know
that."

"Phalen . . . "

"Really? Kathy's always thought he would be," Steve laughed, winking at me.

"Steve! Kathy never said anything like that. Everyone's always talking
about me!"

"Sure, Jeff, 'cause you're so easy to tease." Steve continued to be amused
at my expense.

"You mean easy, Steve," Phalen grinned.

"Phalen . . . "

"That too, Phalen? He seems so mild-mannered. --- A wild man, huh? The
quiet ones always are. At least, that's what I've always heard," Steve said
with a broad smile.

"What's that make you then, Phalen?" I asked. "You're certainly not quiet."

"Tell him that you're loveable, Phalen," Steve suggested.

"You think so, Steve?" Phalen asked innocently.  In the short time that I'd
known him, I already recognized a lead-in for a joke of some sort.

"Watch it, Steve," I warned. "You'll be over your head faster than you know
what hit you. That's what happened to me. I ordered a pizza for dinner, and
before I could blink, he had wrestled me to the ground and pinned me to the
pizza."

"Pizza was that bad, huh?" Steve asked in all seriousness.  "Tell me guys;
is gay love always like this; wrestling and all? Kathy and I never do stuff
like that."

"It's the only way I can get what I want, Steve," Phalen said.

"Ok guys, time out, or whatever people say in a situation like this. I'm
feeling a straight man again, Phalen."

"Straight? You, Jeff?" Steve said, resuming his laughing.

"Cut it out, Steve. Maybe I should step outside and let you guys enjoy each
other's company. You sure do seem to be having fun at my expense."

"Jeff, if you went outside, who'd we have to tease?  Well guys, I had
better go. I have to go tell Kathy all about this.  I'm writing a story
about you guys, you know? I call it 'Phalen'. Pretty catchy name, I
think. I came up with it all on my own."

"That's so cool, Steve, huh, Jeff? Send me a copy when you're done. I
always knew I'd be famous someday," Phalen said, acting like a kid.

"And I always thought you would be famous because you broke some sort of
talking record," I teased. --- "Ow, Phalen. That hurt."

"Bye, guys. Gotta get home to tell Kathy all about this.  You guys are so
cool.  This is gonna be a great story."


~End - Chapter Four ~

----------

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to comment on this story. I
love to hear from you and appreciate your input and your constructive
criticism.

If you would like for me to send you a pic of the guys that inspired the
main characters in this story, email me.

There are a few words and phrases in Finnish that appear in "Phalen".
Information that is transmitted in text format, such as this story, when
it's uploaded to Nifty, cannot reproduce the punctuation used on a few
letters of the Finnish alphabet. I have chosen to use the closest English
equivalent.  To any Finnish speakers, my apologies.

My thanks to Larry S. for his assistance with the Finnish language, and to
Evan Bradley and John Fleming for helping me make "Phalen" a better story.

A number of readers have written asking for the correct pronunciation of
the character's names.  They are:

Phalen (FAY-lin)
Kerin (KEAR-in)
Thian (THE as in Theater  (THE-in)

Thanks for reading.

Roy
roynm@mac.com