Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2019 15:31:19 -0700
From: KW
Subject: My Little Black Book - Introduction

While on my way home from the store this morning, I decided to stop by a
bookstore and grab a new journal to write in. But this is not your average
journal that you aggressively write down angry thoughts or stain with tears
as you write down the latest information on a struggle. This journal is
going to by my Little Black Book, in which I plan to write down my
experiences -- past and present -- so that I can read them at the end of
the year and relish in this new found sexual awakening.

A bit about me as I am now: My name is Kyle. I'm 28-years-old and work as a
fitness instructor. Naturally, with that field of work, I am in pretty good
shape and am 6-feet tall and 158 pounds. So I'm not thicc by any means, but
I have some mass where it counts, toned arms, legs and abs. I have hazel
eyes, brown, curly hair that is left un-styled most days, a very
short-trimmed beard, and a moderate amount of body hair everywhere except
my back. I keep that shaved. I guess you could categorize me as an otter in
the Gay World.

Sexually, I am not unexperienced, but I would easily say that my number of
sexual partners is much lower than the average gay guy. I lost my virginity
at 16 with my highschool girlfriend; my first time having sex with a guy
was at 18. Between then and now, I would say my sexual partner count is
about 20, and that includes anything from making out to sex and everything
in between. A large part of that is because the relationships I have been
in were all long-term, monogamous relationships. During that same time, I
traveled internationally for extended periods of time, twice to Russia --
which is not known to be gay-friendly. When I was home, sure, I was on
Grindr and other apps, but I have always found myself to be shy when it
came to actually meeting a person for casual sex. In addition to that, the
experiences that I did see through ended up being less-than-ideal
encounters that just turned me off from the whole idea of hooking up. So
instead, I would opt to stay in, maybe even host the occasional cam show
for online chat rooms. You could argue that all of that stuff would lend to
conditioning a low desire for sex with others or at least being content
just staying home and jerking it to porn.

Fast-forward to the present. Enter Alex, my current boyfriend of just over
one year. Some background on him: He's 29-years-old, training to become a
pilot. He's just a bit shorter than I, 5 foot 11 inches or so, and also on
the slim side. During the time we have been together, he has embraced the
little bit of body hair he has, but used to keep it trimmed. I would say
he's a twink, but he often disagrees saying that he's the boy-next-door. He
has dark brown hair that is almost always styled to the side until it gets
too long, dark brown eyes, a shaved face and fair skin (which is probably
my favorite phyiscal feature about him -- I have a thing for ivory skin).

Unlike me, he is extremely confident in his appearances and skills. He has
a very active sex life, and it caught me by surprised when he told me that
he had figured out, roughly, how many sexual partners he has had over the
years. I think it is safe to say that that conversation started a chain
reaction of conversations, mental exploration and personal growth that has
led this relationship to where it is now. A little under four months ago,
he expressed an interest in opening the relationship, saying he missed the
adrenaline that casual sex offered and he would like to explore that sexual
freedom again. It totally caught me off guard, because up until now, that
is not the type of relationship I knew. Family, friends and I were always
monogamous in the relationships we had with other people, and any
infidelity almost always killed the relationship. After a lot of time to
process, grow and reflect on myself, I agreed that the relationship could
be open. After all, in the time that I have been with him, I have explored
more sexual kinks, fantasies, interests, and conversations than I have with
any of my past partners. It is exciting. I now find myself horny all the
time. As a 28-year-old man, I can say that I don't want to have sex with
only one person for the rest of my life, and I know Alex does not either.
So why not embrace the relationship we have? One in which we are both so
confident in the other that we can openly share our sexual experiences
within and outside of the relationship without it jeopardizing anything. On
a personal level, I'm excited to see what it is like to allow myself to
indulge in the different pleasures that sex with others offers. I have felt
a shift within me that I have connected to a Sexual Awakening -- one that I
am excited to explore alone, and also with Alex.  And the idea of writing
about them for future trips down memory lane only makes me more excited. So
here is my Little Black Book.