Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2009 07:01:21 EDT
From: Writersinterlude@aol.com
Subject: Richard, my reason for living...Submission Please

Richard, my reason for living.. Copyright Alex Carr 2009.

I had come to a crossroads in my life - I just didn't want to live in my
body anymore. I knew how I was, discovered my leaning , but shyness held me
back. I wanted a relationship so bad and when I got my first computer I soon
 mastered the art of communication and chat

Was this the breakthrough? Would I at last achieve that which I could never
 have the courage to do before, to simply show another guy whom  I had
grown  to like - that I was interested in him for more than a mere friendship.

I was so lonely and unhappy, wondered what it would be like with another
guy, I had never had that feeling for girls. If only.

Anyway I got chatting to a few `possibilities' - guys who lived nearby and
 exchanged sometimes very personal details with me online, but I soon
realised  that most of them weren't serious, it was just a big game or they were
doing it  for a cheap thrill, To think I did a webcam thing with this fifty
years old  revolts me now, but all the time I was learning, eventually I met
a real nice  guy called Danny. He lived about five miles from me so we
arranged a meet.

That was maybe the best move I had ever made in my life and I was
determined to make a go of it. We decided to meet in Morrison's  supermarket  car
park, he told me the number of his car so I shouldn't  mistake him. Making my
way down to the meeting place I almost turned back, could  this really be
happening at last and would it really work out. After all I had  only chatted
to him through the computer, had never ever seen a picture him.  Anyway it
was 10am and I was there, gingerly walking amongst the parked cars  until I
saw the number I recognised. And there, behind the windscreen, was Danny  -
staring at me as much as I was him I guess, this would be the real moment of
truth, would we like each other, would we be compatible to one another?

He opened the passenger door and invited me to join him. We talked a while
face to face ,he was about 48, a little older than me but he had a really
nice  disposition. Having no idea what one should do next in the
circumstances I  bravely put my hand over his jeans as we spoke about our turn ons.
There was an  ominous silence, he looked down and then turned towards me, I
wondered if I had  done the right thing but he didn't stop me. "That's nice,
Pete" he said softly  so I squeezed him, through his jeans, again watching his
response and so very  exited by the firmness there. He sort of rolled his
eyes so I found myself  unzipping him as if it was the most natural thing in
the world, but I felt very  audacious, I seemed oblivious to where we were,
it wasn't exactly private and  next thing I had his erection deep in my
mouth, realising for the first time the  taste and feel of cock.. The pungency
of  it was divine, it had a nice firm  and warm feel to it as I rolled my
tongue over his uncut  plum.

Danny was panting when he pulled back my head and pleaded me to stop. "Not
here" he said,   "let's find somewhere private, where we can both  enjoy
and relax" I reluctantly came away feeling his  gorgeous cock slip  away with
that certain sound.

I was game for that and when we arrived back at my place we soon found
ourselves in the bathroom stripping each other. I knelt and sucked his cock
again and soon he was doing the same with me, that first experience of feeling
a  guy suck me was so wonderful and I was finding another reason for
wanting to  carry on living in my body.

The first time he fucked me was over the edge of the bath the same day, he
helped me lubricate myself with lashings of baby oil and I was pleasantly
surprised, Danny being so big and all, that he slipped inside me with hardly
any  real effort at all, I wondered how it was for him as I dipped my head
down into  the bath, feeling him begin to thrust, now  I knew at last the
feel of cock  inside me and, although it hurt a little at first, Danny was
very considerate,  asked me if it was alright, stopped a while when he must
have been halfway  inside, me rolling my ass to prompt him to continue. "Can I
cum inside you?" he  asked and I immediately said yes, I want that - and
then it happened, the climax  of that very first fuck, a fuck that would prompt
the beginning of so many  more.

I grew besotted to Danny, the things he wanted me to do sometimes seemed
repugnant to me, like when he asked me to urinate over him in the bath - but
because he was everything to me I went along with it, showering him down
afterwards and sucking his cock whilst he stood up in the bath - that didn't
seem so  bad, because the smell of urine soon  went when I gave him a  good
 shower. And yet, it's a strange thing, do you know something? I  started
to think along the lines that yes, I would like to do that again and,
anyway, he compromised by doing something to me which didn't particularly turn
him on - and that was spanking, the thought of being spanked was a real turn
on  for me, the thought of bending over his knee in my tight jeans was
somehow  wonderfully thrilling and the first time he spanked me really stung and,
would  you believe, somehow the pain diminished into a wonderful sensual
feeling of  well being, and in a while, as our relationship grew, he was
regularly taking me  over his knee, sometimes stripping me and caning me. Once he
broke the cane and  somehow, the way he looked, the way he froze, holding the
 snapped  cane,  somehow set us into roars of laughter so humour became
part of our scene. He'  always  finish the session tantalising me crazy, his
fingers rimming me,  balling me and squeezing me there, then a little more
spanking for good stead I  loved it and told him that simply made me game for
anything.

We'd been meeting each other off and on for about three years when suddenly
 one day he did not show up. we'd arranged the meet as usual over the
mobile  phone and he said he couldn't wait, that he so looked forward to our
sessions.

I had something special planned too. Last time I told him I would like to
swallow. I set my camera up because I wanted to film it for prosperity,
something to keep me  warm when in the winter nights I felt horny - and  only
being able to see Danny about once a fortnight I always tried to make the
best of it. But somehow it didn't work out like that, there was I knelt
between  his legs , him sprawled on the armchair, balling and sucking him with the
extra  bonus of knowing it was all being recorded. I think Danny liked that
too because  he was there much quicker than usual, it was either that - I
mean the camera  making him reach a climax quicker or the thought that I was
going to swallow and  I was strongly wanking him like never before.

He caught me unawares, spurted and yelled he was coming into my mouth at
the same time. Looking back I think the problem was, as I had already
discussed  with him, if he came would he be able to fuck me afterwards?, would he
have  enough impetus, that wouldn't it be better for him to fuck me first?
But I  picked the wrong moment because I guess he was already at a point of no
return  as I found that special way of jerking him. He said it would be
fine, that he  could easily raise a hard on again so I thought was I being a
trifle too selfish  and then ... well he shot his load not as planned into my
mouth but over his  thighs and onto  the cushion.

I continued to feel him, smearing his cream over his balls, I loved to do
that, but I was thinking all the time just how it would have been if I had
taken  all that inside my mouth, and how would it feel to swallow - I was
determined to  try that though, it was just unfortunate it didn't happen then.
But there  was no fuck, he couldn't make it and I knew it. He tried taking
me over the  table, I spread eagled to make it easy for him, but no go - he
got it about  halfway into me then it diminished, there was no fuck that day
and I was so  disappointed..

But no matter, better luck next time, That's what I planned but without
rhyme or reason  he decided not to turn up, and I have heard nothing since,
no reply to my texts, nothing, it was as if though he didn't exist. Yet he'd
 said in his texts that he couldn't wait, and how much he looked forward to
 it.  And I had aimed on doing something he had asked me to do several
times, to urinate in his briefs as he stood there in the bath, he said he would
 love that, to feel it dripping down his legs with me rubbing and
squelching it  through his briefs , another thing I had gotten  my mind around to,
but  that day I was all set, as much as I was to wank him into my mouth and
swallow  his cream, for him to watch me as I did it, it would be magic! But I
still had  the copy of the film shot the last time we met, which gave me
some joy  afterwards - but even that got stale, I just didn't want to know
anymore, I`d  wanked myself so much, pausing it in several places, watching how
the semen  spurted through his p-hole  and all the things I remembered doing
with him  . and the way he treated me, dumping me like that after he'd had
his  gratification with me.  So I was back to square one, hating to be
living in  my body again!

For a while I felt at the end of my tether, with Danny dumping me like that
 what would I do, I'd enjoyed him so very much in every way, even that
which at  first I found was repugnant , and now all that was gone. I would never
ever find  another like Danny. Or so I thought .....

All I wanted was to be out of my body, whatever that took, even resorting
to drugs crossed my mind. Because all my body seemed to give me was grief. I
was  in a turmoil searching for a solution, whatever that may be, I was
right back to  how I was before Danny but worse, because now I had the memories
of Danny - and  pined in what I was missing, all those things we did to
gratify the needs and  comforts of each other.

But this time I wasn't even looking, having been once stung I had given up
the idea of meeting another, perhaps to take Danny's place, believing that
was  an impossible task anyway.

Somehow, I don't know exactly how, word had gotten to this Lord of the
manor that I was quite good with plants, that I had green fingers and the rest
of it. To cut a long story short (to reach the better bits)  he took me on
to look after his flower beds, and not only that, he took a liking to me,
realised my position ( the social services had told him I guessed) and
offered  me a rent free cottage on the estate.
I was in my element, doing what I  enjoyed doing, working with plants and
maintaining them was a joy. But for all  that I still missed something else,
something that Danny gave me.

We got talking, Lord Aldridge `call me Richard' he insisted. He was ever
such a nice guy for a lord, he was I think about the same age as Danny and
somehow along the line we became very intimate, he invited me to dinner and
things, strolled around the gardens with me, talking, I realised his
interest  was more than merely an employer/employee one. Feeling comfortable with
him I  confided in him -  I came out with it and told him how mortified I
was to  have been dumped by Danny, that I had lost that certain companionship
Danny had  given me and immediately Richard reassured me - his arm extending
around my  shoulders, I felt a real warmth in his karma and all at once I
wanted to share  everything with this fabulous guy, and that was not for his
money or anything  like that, it was because of him, and how I had grown to
like and respect him,  for even though he was a Lord, he treated me on an
equal basis and I just felt I  had reached a new crossroads in my life - and
the reason for that?  Richard  of course, whom I was delighted to discover,
had the same leanings as me. One  thing led to another very quickly indeed
and as if it was meant to be, I was  soon sharing his bed.

"I understand your dilemma, Peter, so why destroy this lovely body?" he
said to me after I had told him about my feelings, that I hated being inside
my  body, that In wanted to be out of it, even if the meant suicide. "That
would be  such a waste, at least keep it for me, to have and to hold,
whenever I want,  how`s that?"

I`d felt his fuck for the very first time. - so warm and tender, he was a
true romantic, he said he wanted to love and pamper me to the hilt. He said
he  was obsessed by me, that he wanted me complete, that he would keep my in
return  for my body and all that goes with it.

I felt so good and so wanted, at last had I found someone that really
cared, that would never dump me.
Being with Richard was to be a different  kettle of fish, not just the
occasional meeting like it was with Danny but every  night. I'd spend days in
the garden doing whatever wanted, their was never any  pressure, that's how
Richard wanted it to be, I guess I was his kept lover, but  I didn't mind
that, because it would enable me to be completely free of any  inhibitions I
once had, I could just be myself and all Richard wanted of me,  that evening
fuck after dinner, the showering me with compliments, the wonderful  way he
enjoyed me, wanting me wide open for him on the edge of the bed while he
knelt to enjoy me orally, it was so wonderful, I can't fully give justice to the
 way his fantasies effected me, the heavenly feel of his mouth eat me, his
 tongue pressing and rimming my hole, and all the sucking and tasting that
ensued, going on for ever it seemed. So lovely and wonderful, then his
thing  about squirty cream, and how he enjoyed tasting me with it all over my
cock and  balls and my ass cheeks too.

"I love you Peter, I really do, let nothing change, be like this always for
 me and I will be truly a happy man"

He would indulge me in all sorts of positions, tie me up and smother me
with his cock and balls as he sucked mine, all those things we did, all those
wonderfully fantasies he shared with me, like the one where he tied me up,
wrists and ankles, on my hands and knees on  a bench, ass presented to him
for his  pleasure, he'd strap me several times across the buttocks, then
massage moisturising cream into them, underneath as well to give me the most
wonderful soothing feeling of being wanted and loved.

Then he'd leave me for an hour or so, a sort of pleasure I came to enjoy
immensely, like I was waiting there to be of service ton him whenever he was
good and ready, and when he returned I wondered what next, sometimes he
came  with another implement in his hand, a paddle or a cane, then he would
spend time  stroking and massaging me with it, rolling and stroking it over my
buttocks,  emitting those certain pleasurable sounds I loved to hear, He
always told me how  wonderful my body was, how he loved to spoil me, I felt the
pressure of his  wanting grow in the way he caned me, saying what a
pleasure it was to see my  buttocks flushing so brilliantly red as the cane bounced
of them, me feeling the  sting of that, waiting for the next strike,
feeling it again and again, until it  was no more, the caning continued and I felt
a pleasurable numbness extend all  over my body, knowing soon  the `
punishment' would stop, how he would say  that he was so sorry, that my ass was
meant to be spanked and so on, and how he  liked to show just how sorry he was
afterwards if he had taken me for granted,  but I always told him not to be
concerned, that my pleasure was his, and I felt  the measure of his
appreciation as he massaged the redness and then dowsed  me with a good spray of
his fresh cream soaking my ass and balls as he wanked  himself soundly. Then
the wonderful feeling as he sucked his cream off me,  tasting ad sniffing me
again, he loved to sniff me, then sucking my ass and  balls, feeding my cock
into his mouth as he twisted his head to reach me, his  mouth doing things
to my growing cock as the feeling in my buttocks soothed  complimenting the
feel of his mouth envelope my now firm cock, the way he sucked  my p-hole -
all that, it was so wonderful and heavenly, I knew I would soon be  there as
his  sucks  grew stronger, and he knew it too, that's what he  wanted, to
taste and swallow me, and I was soon there, like it was a thing  shared, our
own heaven to enrapture and enjoy, as I felt the surge come, heard  his
moans as it shot into his mouth, and then the sound of that, his mouth  drenched
in my cream, and him enjoying it so much, licking and tasting and  sucking
me, almost like he was eating me.

And so it was, I was there for him any time he wanted me and any way, if he
 wanted to dress me up in laborious costumes, like I was a page boy from
old, or  if he wanted me to be a servant boy, a butler whatever, I would be
that for him,  and share the wonder and sheer pleasure of his lust and his
undying love for me.  And sometimes, in the garden, he'd want me to wear tight
boxer shorts, then he'd  take me into the greenhouse and have me over the
bench,  after dowsing my  ass with rose petals.

It was then I realised Danny was no longer missed, for what Richard gave me
 was a lot ,lot more.
Hardly a morning or night goes by without Richard's deep  thrilling fuck,
he thrills me always, telling me how he loves this and that, how  I wiggle
and tempt his fuck.

I just want to be all ass and cock for him, whatever he wants and I am his,
 for always. Richard was now my reason for living.