Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 08:36:20 +0100
From: A.K. <andrej@andrejkoymasky.com>
Subject: Neither Angel nor Hustler 05/11 (encounters)

----------------------------

NEITHER ANGEL NOR HUSTLER
by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2008
written on August 12, 1992
translated by the author
English text kindly revised by Acam

-----------------------------

USUAL DISCLAIMER

"NEITHER ANGEL NOR HUSTLER" is a gay story, with some parts containing
graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion,
family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better
not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't
care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my
welcomed guest.

-----------------------------

Fifth notebook

Samba and his never-ending search for his Prince Charming: once it
seemed that he found him. One of his johns, a certain Arnaldo, a bank
director seemed to have become really fond of our Samba. He gave him
gifts besides paying him of course and he filled him with kindness. He
also was a handsome man of forty-eight, distinguished, elegant and
refined.

Well then one day Samba came back home and told us that Arnaldo was
pressing him hard and had been for some time, to stop hustling and go to
live with him. Arnaldo told him that he liked him a lot, that he wants
to have him all to himself and that he feels bad thinking that Samba
fucks with other people too and so on. Samba confessed to us that he
felt really tempted to accept but he is not totally sure it would be the
right thing.

Zio asked him "What exactly is he offering you?"

"To live with him. He has a beautiful apartment where he lives alone. He
has a Philippino boy for all the chores who comes for eight hours each
day. He says that as the Philippino does the laundry, the mending, the
ironing and cooks and so on I wouldn't have to do any work."

"Alright but if you go and live with him he will not pay you any more."
Zio said.

"Of course not. He will buy me everything I need. Up to now he has
always been generous. I don't think he will change..."

Jimmi asked him, "How is he physically? What is his character like and
how is he in bed? Do you like him?"

"Yes, he has a handsome body he is pleasant and he fucks nicely... at
least as I like it. I wouldn't be able to tell which of us enjoys it
more when we fuck."

Then I asked him "But all day long while he is at work - what would you
do? Aren't you going to get bored being alone at home for hours and
hours?"

"He said that if I feel like it he will enrol me in a language school.
So that when he travels (which he often does) I can accompany him
without feeling ill at ease. He speaks four languages did you know?"

Giorgio said, "It seems as if he has really thought about it... But does
he listen to you? Does he respect you? Or does he plan everything and
treats you just as a little whore?"

"Oh no he is always really kind and when he suggests something he always
asks me to say honestly what I think about it do I agree and whether I
feel like it. I really get well along with him very well..."

"But then "MemŽ asked, "if everything is so perfectly fine as you say
what makes you hesitate still?"

"It's just that... I ask myself... if one day he gets tired of me what
can I do then? If he got tired soon while I'm still a boy, I could just
go back to hustling and everything would be alright. But if it happened
later? That is what worries me."

"Well learning languages could be useful one day. If I were in your
shoes I would try." Jimmi said.

"And you boys - what do you think?" Samba asked us.

"I would be sorry if you left us. But I would accept his offer too."
MemŽ said with his big puppy eyes and brushing his usual rebel forelock
back into place.

Giorgio and I both said, "I would accept too."

Zio kept silent for a while and then said "But first I would try him out
by telling him what you think about about your future. I would want to
understand how he sees it and whether he has thought about it or not and
how he thinks this problem could be solved. Then, if you liked his
answer... well, I would say I'm game too."

So a few days later Samba left us and went to live with Arnaldo.
Actually Arnaldo told him that he would open a bank account in Samba's
name and each month he would transfer a kind of salary into it and that
would be Samba's money and he could do with it as he pleased so that if
Arnaldo got tired of him, he would not be destitute. Samba had found the
man of his dreams.

He called us quite often to listen to our news and to tell us how he was
getting on. Sometimes we saw him during the day too. He told us he was
fine; he was treated wonderfully and he had started his language classes
(for the moment French and English in private schools) and that he
enjoyed these studies. Arnaldo also arranged for Samba to get his
driving licence and bought him a Fiat-126 (a metallic blue one) so that
he could be independent. He also took Samba to the theatre to the movies
and to parties., He always introduced him as a nephew who had come from
abroad to study and who was his guest at his home.

Three or four times each week they fucked like rabbits sometimes in the
bath tub sometimes on the lounge carpet... and in bed too, of course. He
didn't have to wait for Arnaldo to want it - when Samba felt like it he
didn't usually refuse. Whether it was in the morning, the evening, the
afternoon or at night.

They had been together for four months when they went in April to spend
a month on the island of Guadalupe where Arnaldo rented a bungalow.
Samba was all electrified about this first holiday with his man. He sent
us a letter singing the natural beauties of the place and telling us
that they also made love at night amidst the waves and describing
everything in great detail. Eight full pages filled with his usual sense
of humour and of joy. We read and re-read them, feeling very amused and
happy for our friend though our home seemed a little empty without him
around.

++++++++++++++++++

On that subject just after we received that letter and realised that
everything was going as well as could be for our friend, I suggested to
the others that we could get another boy to share with us. I was
thinking of Muhammad. My friends agreed at once as they already knew
him. So, the next time I met my Moroccan friend I offered him this
suggestion.

"You can't know how pleased I am Niki, and how timely your offer is. In
fact my friends and I have to leave the room where we live before the
end of the month and we haven't yet found another place."

"Won't you be sorry to leave your friends?"

"No, first of all because I can come with you and I really like you. But
also because those boys are rather fanatical and think that Arabs are
the only people who are smart and have values. And the daily prayers,
and the ablutions and Ramadan and everything gets on my nerves... I'm
absolutely not ashamed of being an Arab although I have some Berber
blood in my veins but I'm not the least proud of being one. Moreover I'm
not a devout Muslim really... Anyway in my opinion every people has its
own values and... and I feel really good with you Italians."

"So, are you coming?"

"Tomorrow if I can!"

No sooner said than done. Muhammad is now with us and sleeps with Jimmi.
We have tried to pin a nickname to him and after a few failed attempts
we call him Mauro now.

Abdel too was really glad that his cousin came to live with us. Muhammad
got into good habits at once and does well and he helps to keep the
house clean and shining with great care. He spends lot of his free time
cleaning and polishing, so that our home, which was already clean, is
now as clean as a new pin. He also often makes mint tea for us using the
nice tea set that Abdel gave me.

At first he found our usual nakedness or half-nakedness at home a bit
embarrassing as Arabs are not used to it but he gradually did get used
to it and now it happens more and more often that we see his beautiful
cut pecker dangling around. We recognise that he has a delightful little
arse too. It's a tonic to our eyes.

I think that about one month after he began living with us he started to
have sex with Jimmi. They don't consider themselves as a steady couple
but just as two friends who like to enjoy each other in bed. Now
Muhammad is gradually giving up going hustling in the street because he
has become came part of our circle of telephone dates. In bed Muhammad
prefers to be a bottom but if a john asks him he can also be a top
without any effort.

Muhammad tried to have sex with me one day while we were taking a shower
but I explained to him what I feel for Giorgio. He gave a funny sigh but
didn't insist. A few days later he commented that it's odd that I have
sex without problems not only with my johns but with Abdel too and I
have no problems having sex with him when we go and meet Abdel.

So then I explained to him that Jimmi is an exception and now he is too
because as we live together I worry that I could fall in love with them
if I agreed to have sex with them and I don't want that to happen. He
seemed to be flattered and he never again raised that subject. Muhammad
is always full of tact.

+++++++++++++++++

Samba came back from his holidays and resumed his city life. He came to
see us and seemed happy to see that Muhammad had taken his place. Zio
told him that if one day he wanted to come back this is his home.

"I don't think I will. I'm getting on really well with Arnaldo. He
treats me like a son an adult son... well, besides the fact he fucks
with me. He gives me great freedom and he also spoils me a little.
Anyway, thank you boys. I miss you a bit. At home I often go around
naked. Arnaldo accepted it after some resistance and now he like it - we
fuck even more than before.

"The Philippine (who is also gay) looks at me with bedroom eyes as if he
wanted to eat me up but he doesn't try because he's afraid he might lose
his job. I try not to provoke him so when he is around I wear my boxers
so that he can work in peace.

"The story that I'm his nephew works well as a cover up so sometimes I
can go to the bank to say hallo to him and he can invite some colleagues
home in the evening or other people from his bank without problems..."

"But are you happy Samba?" MemŽ interrupted him.

"Yes, I am. He is not a Prince he is not Charming but I'm good with him.
He never talks about my past as a hustler. Maybe he doesn't want to
remember it - anyway he never brings it up. But if it wasn't for that he
would never have met me. But two or three times I have hinted that I
would like to have you all home together for a meal and I think it could
be that he doesn't want to be reminded of my past and he always changes
the subject. I regret this because you have been and still are my family
here in Italy. But nobody is perfect are they? He knows I sometimes come
here to see you and that I call you and he doesn't mind. I always tell
him everything I do because I think that only by being totally open and
honest with him can bring him to trust me. Am I not right?"

We all agreed. Then Giorgio asked him, "Don't you find being faithful to
him a burden?"

"No because he satisfies me completely and I think I satisfy him. Anyway
this was our agreement - I went to live with him in order to be faithful
to him right?"

"But are you in love with each other?" our MemŽ asked.

"No we just are fine together. Who knows; maybe one day we may fall in
love with each other... That day he would really become my Prince
Charming."

++++++++++++++++

Ruggiero was depressed and it was a bore being with him. I think he's
still having problems with his ex who goes on hanging around him. Once
he called two other hustlers as well as me and for a while he wanted us
all to poke him in all his holes at once. I remember that I thought he
wanted to drown his troubles in cocks instead of wine. But after a while
he just withdrew and asked us to have sex between us while he just
watched.

Well, I must say that for us that was more fun at east for me. Better
than doing a porn movie! I think I wouldn't mind being an actor in that
kind of movie because I discovered that being looked at while I'm
fucking arouses me a lot. What happened to the na•ve little Nicola that
let Tomaso give him head in the back of his shop and then went to
confess his sins? The ugly duckling became a swan though I say it
myself.

Anyway, when I'm alone with Ruggiero I try to buck him up though I'm not
sure I succeed very well. If only he was able to give up Carlo (his ex)
totally! To Carlo it comes in handy to be able to continue to take
advantage of Ruggiero's sentiments (but even more of his money). Carlo
is really beautiful but really unpleasant too. He is moreover incredibly
selfish and a conceited ass. He milks Ruggiero then he treats him like
shit. Who knows why Ruggiero lets Carlo treat him like that? Does he
still hope Carlo will go back to him?

One day while I was just coming out of the toilet I heard Carlo saying
to Ruggiero, "... the fact is darling that you love taking it in your
arse in all the meanings of the phrase physical and psychological. You
enjoy being ill treated..."

What a bastard! I thought and became mad at him. So I came out of the
toilet and made Ruggiero understand I wanted to have sex so he asked
Carlo to leave and at once he seemed to feel better. We went in his
egg-shaped bedroom and I did my very best to make him enjoy it as much
as possible and I succeeded. In fact when I left him Ruggiero was almost
in a normal mood. Good lord if I had control of Carlo I don't know what
I would do to him but I would certainly make him pay for everything.

+++++++++++++++

Surprise, surprise! Alberto called me and when I got to his apartment...
his wife was not at home. He wanted have sex with me all the same and
for the first time he wanted to give me head too. He then asked me to
fuck him in the arse as usual but from in front and he enjoyed it
crazily. When I was ready to leave he asked me to say nothing to his
wife and paid me double. All but straight in front and really gay on the
other side! I never saw him so turned on and wild - is his real ego
coming to light?

I have to say that I enjoyed it too - and much more than the other times
- having that woman under my balls even though I didn't have to touch
her was rather disturbing for me. But then whether we're talking of
Alberto or any one else what is the sense of sticking labels on them?
Everyone has his own kind of sexuality, his own secret dreams and so on.
Anyway I got the idea to try to fuck and be fucked by Alberto. After the
time we were alone Alberto started to alternate calling me when his wife
was there too and when he was alone with me.

+++++++++++++++++

Giorgio is blowing hot and cold by turns. Sometimes he cuddles me;
sometimes he seems to want to keep a distance between us. If I think
hard about it maybe I'm blowing up very little things because I'm
hypersensitive to the signals coming from him. He really treats me very
well as a real friend...

I talked about that again to Zio and he says I must get him out of my
head, Or rather out of my heart because in his opinion mine is a lost
cause. He suggested that I change rooms to go to sleep with Jimmi or
with Muhammad rather than sharing a room with Giorgio. But I don't want
to.

Zio shook his head and said, "Niki I cannot interfere between you."

"I know and I'm not asking you to do that. I just need to see the
situation clearly in my mind and to get your advice."

"Then that's alright. I only regret that you are suffering."

"Well, not too much; it's bearable."

"So much the better."

For the first time since we had begun to live together, Zio hugged me
very tightly to give me courage and the gesture made me feel as good as
if I had an elder brother.

MemŽ said to me that Zio told him about Giorgio and me ("You know we
always tell each other everything but we don't gossip...") and that he
hopes that one day somehow the solution I'm hoping for will be achieved.
Well the exact words he said were "I'm shouting for you!"

++++++++++++++++

Arnaldo got a promotion and was appointed as the director of the branch
of his bank in Amsterdam so he has to move there and so Samba will go
too. And so we will see him very seldom from now on. He promised he will
write to us because he wants us to stay in touch. I'm sorry to lose
Samba. The last time we met he told me that Arnaldo has changed in one
significant respect - now when they have sex he always wants Samba to
tell him about his experiences when he was a hustler and wants to hear
all the details and not to leave out a single thing and calls him his
little pig and tells him that he knows that Samba is and remains a
hustler at heart and this is why he likes him so much and he wants him
to do all the filth he used to do, but only with Arnaldo.

Samba said that Arnaldo talks like that only to get aroused but I didn't
like that at all. I liked his previous attitude better even if that was
the reason why he never wanted us to go to his home. I hope to be wrong
and I hope that Samba is right. Anyway they left for Holland.

We received Samba's first letter from Amsterdam. He describes the city,
the people and the unusual and interesting things he is discovering. But
I noticed that he says practically nothing about himself and Arnaldo and
this worries me. He closed his letter by telling us that he misses us.

+++++++++++++++++

Muhammad came back home from a date with a john with a face I didn't
like at all. All of us noticed it. After some insistence we got him to
tell us what happened. He said that his john who is a guy that Zio knows
rather well after a while started to insult him with words like, "Keep
still there, filthy Arab dog - I want to spurt on your muzzle" or else,
"god what a pleasure it is to break the arse of a Moroccan bastard dog"
and also, "lick my arse you who are just a shit eater" and such things.

Muhammad said us that he managed not to react but it was difficult
because he never felt so humiliated and offended before not so much for
the sentences or the words but because of the poison and scorn he could
detect in that guy's voice.

Zio was hopping mad and he wasn't the only one. We decided that we have
to give that bastard a first-rate lesson he will never forget. Muhammad
said it doesn't matter that he just won't go with that john any more but
Zio insisted and told him that to offend one of us is like offending all
of us and that there was no sense in suffering such an offence without a
reaction. So we all started to talk about how we could avenge Muhammad.
Some of the ideas were clearly impractical or exaggerated or too risky
but all were rather ferocious. We gradually chose the best ideas and a
plan took shape.

So when the bastard had the guts to ask Muhammad for a new date he
accepted. But all six of us showed up at the meeting. As soon as he
opened the door we forced our way in. He jumped up saying he was going
to call the police but we jumped on him all together. We immobilized
him, put an adhesive plaster on his mouth and undressed him completely.
Then we tied him up like salami. You had to see his frightened eyes and
his face as white as a sheet!

Then Giorgio took out a sheet of paper and started to say, "We are here
gathered as a special court to judge this piece of shit. Is it true that
when you came here, Muhammad, he told you - Keep still there filthy Arab
dog - I want to spurt on your muzzle -?"

"Yes, it is true." Muhammad answered.

"Is it true that he also said - god what a pleasure it is to break the
arse of a Moroccan bastard dog - ?"

"Yes, it is so."

"And that he also said - lick my arse, you who are just a shit eater -?"

"Yes he said that."

"And did he also say - you Arabs should all live in the bogs - ?"

"Yes, he said it."

"Good. So should an animal using such expressions be acquitted or
sentenced?"

We all in chorus answered "Sentenced!"

And Giorgio said "I condemn you - for the first sentence we all will
spurt on your face; for the second one the six of us will fuck your
arse; for the third one we will fill your apartment with shit; and for
the fourth one we will all piss all over you. And be grateful to this
court that all the other abusive sentences you dared say to the injured
party were not recorded in this indictment."

The guy was tossing and writhing seized by panic. But we were absolutely
determined so first we all fucked him in the arse (we knew that he
boasted of being exclusively a top - in fact he had a really tight hole)
but without coming because when we were near orgasm we pulled out and
came on his face, while the next one fucked his gaping hole. After we
were done we surrounded him (he was lying on a precious Persian carpet
in his lounge) and all six pissed on him.

We finally went around his apartment shitting all around - in fact when
he called to fix the date with Muhammad for the day after, we all didn't
go to the toilet for twenty-four hours so we all were well full. And
then we cleaned our arse-holes on his curtains. The guy's face was
purple. Then Jimmy called 999 giving that guy's address and telling the
police that he had been assaulted by a gang of hooligans. We quietly
left leaving him there well tied and gagged the entrance door open. We
were satisfied. We also spread the word amongst all the other gay
hustlers we knew so than no-one would never ever go with him again. In
fact he never showed up any more.

The day after in the newspaper in the city news there was a short
article saying that a gang of a dozen (yes, 12!) unknown hooligans broke
into the apartment of the well known professional man mister So-and-So,
had assailed him, tied him up, robbed him (!!!) and vandalised his
apartment (without specifying what). "Ah, what times we are living in!"

We have still kept Giorgio's record of the "trial" together with the
newspaper article. After all that guy got off cheaply.

End of the event.

++++++++++++++

Unfortunately the second letter from Samba proved my fears right. It was
short; he just said that he was well but told us almost nothing. He was
missing us he said, but we didn't have to worry about him as he could
look after himself. Then we all wrote him a long letter together where
we tried to convey our concern and told him that it was very important
to us to know the truth about how he is and we told him about us.

For two months we didn't receive any news from him and we were really
starting to worry. Then at last came a new letter from Samba in which he
told us everything.

Just a while after they moved to Amsterdam Arnaldo started to attend gay
premises alone leaving Samba at home. Then he started to take hustlers
home with whom he fucked telling Samba to go to sleep in another room
and leave them alone. When our friend asked him if he was dissatisfied
with him Arnaldo answered that one hustler was as good as an other and
that Samba should be grateful that he was being kept Although he wasn't
doing anything.

Samba didn't give up hoping that situation would change and Arnaldo
would start to make love to him again. Then Arnaldo started to ask Samba
to let the hustlers he brought home fuck him so that Arnaldo could watch
and get himself aroused and then sent him away and amused himself alone
with the hustler. Samba didn't dislike being fucked by those boys (he
wrote that they were usually real hunks and were skilled in the trade)
but he didn't like being treated as if he were as worthless as toy just
as an object.

When he realised that the situation instead of getting better was
getting worse he asked Arnaldo if he wanted him to leave.

The guy answered him "You can do as you like I don't give a shit. I
would rather save my money."

Samba asked Arnaldo please to explain him what he had done wrong that
made Arnaldo tired of him. What mistake had he made?

The bastard answered "Nothing. As from a hustler I could expect nothing.
I'm simply fed up having you around."

Then Samba decided to leave. Arnaldo gave him the savings book with his
money (at least he was honest that far) and told him he could take away
his clothes and the presents Arnaldo gave him. Samba chose only what
could be useful and what he liked best, prepared his luggage and found
himself thrown on the street.

But he didn't lose heart. He looked for "Rent-a-boy" agencies as
Amsterdam is full of them and he went to see several of them until he
found one which took him on 'on trial'. After a month he was hired as a
steady boy with a regular contract. So he now was a hustler again (an
'escort', they say up there) in an agency for gay men. He wrote and told
us that he is earning rather good money that he amuses himself and that
after all he ought to be grateful to Arnaldo who had him learn French
and English as the languages are now useful for his new job.

We wrote and told him that if he wants to come back he is always welcome
here but he answered that for the moment he is well and will stay there
and that he knows that our door will always be open for him and he
thanks us for it as this gives him a feeling of safety.

End of a dream.

++++++++++++++++++++

Ruggiero killed himself by shooting himself in the mouth with his
pistol. When I read it on the newspaper I felt like shit and really felt
sorry for that. He was a weird and boring guy it's true but after all he
was a good man. I went to his funeral - there was almost nobody there
but above all thank goodness there was no sign of Carlo. In my opinion
he was the real cause of that poor devil's suicide at least in part. But
there was an old lady if I understood correctly she was his sister who
after the funeral came and asked me if I was Ruggiero's friend.

I told her I was just an acquaintance and that once upon a time every
now and then I worked for him. Fortunately she didn't ask about that and
thanked me for going to the funeral. Who knows why but after the
funeral, while I was coming back home, I thought of Fulvio and asked
myself if he too might not come to the same end. He is probably stressed
by the situation with his son. But he may be made in another mould.
Perhaps his meetings with me are enough to relieve his frustrations. At
least that's what I hope.

++++++++++++++++++

Giorgio won a journey to Venice everything included for two people. He
had bought a box of chocolates and sent off the enclosed post-card. So
he suggested to me that we go there together just the two of us.

So we went. The flight was in first class. We got to the hotel (I never
saw so much luxury in all my life!) and they installed us in a suite and
Giorgio decided we had to share the king size bed (with canopy!).

When I objected that if we did so the hotel staff would spread slander
about us he just answered, "I don't give a shit!"

On one hand I was happy but on the other hand I was worried - it has
always been difficult to sleep in the same room as him in two beds; just
think how much worse it would be if we were in the same bed! Can it
really be possible that he doesn't realise that?"

We explored the city and the islands far and wide - it's really
enchanting even though I felt there is like a veil of sadness over the
carefree life of the "calli" that is the streets and canals. I liked it
a lot anyway; and also because Giorgio pointed out plenty of wonderful
things to me that I might not have noticed or valued enough if I had
been there alone.

On the first night when we went to bed all naked as usual when our
bodies brushed each other lightly, his warmth sent me wild and gave me
an incredible hard-on. I lay down on my belly so that he wouldn't notice
my hard-on. We talked for a long time until we fell asleep. The
following nights were all more or less like the first one but with the
variation that during the third night I woke up feeling Giorgio's body
against mine and his hard cock pushing against me.

I called to him to find out if he was awake too but he didn't answer and
from his steady breathing I guessed that he was deeply asleep. I then
stretched out my hand to caress his body and his cock too. He was still
sleeping. I don't know what possessed me. I pulled away the sheets, bent
over him and started to cover his chest and belly with kisses. He moaned
but didn't move. I looked at his face; he had his beautiful lips
slightly parted and with a hint of a smile.

I leant down again to titillate his nipples with the tip of my tongue
and they soon hardened. With the corner of my eye I saw his cock throb.
I then brought myself to go further down and I licked his beautiful hard
cock and gently took it in my mouth and was all on fire for him. I
remember that I confusedly thought that even if he did wake up I didn't
care at all.

He again lightly moaned and his pelvis moved slightly upwards as if to
push it deeper into my mouth. He was probably dreaming... who knows
what? Perhaps an erotic dream?

My excitation was at such a level that I felt I was about to come and
only just had time to get off him and take my tank top from the chair
before I came on it and did not wet everything. Then I got off the bed
silently and went to wash myself and put the tank top in the dirty
clothes bag and a clean one on the chair and went back to bed. Only then
did I realise that my heart was beating madly. Giorgio was still there
still wonderfully naked deep in blissful sleep with his cock still
straight up and stiff.

I put back the sheet on us and tried to fall asleep again. Will I only
ever be able to steal moments of sex with Giorgio? I asked myself while
I was falling asleep again.

The last day the program had a lunch in the most famous city restaurant.
And the last night came. For a while we chatted in bed commenting on
that journey. Then Giorgio spread out an arm making it slip under my
shoulders and pulled me to him.

"Come here..." he said.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my heart in my mouth.

He made me put my head on his chest (god how good!) and while his arm
kept me tightly against him with the other hand caressed my hair.

"You know, Nicola, that you are my best friend don't you? A very special
friend..."

"Yes I know."

"There is something I have to tell all my friends but I want you to be
the first one to know about it."

"Wha... what?"

"Well, you see... I... I met a girl. We have been seeing each other for
some months. Sometimes when I told you I had to go out to meet a john I
was really going to meet her. We are really good together and fit
perfectly when screwing... we fell in love and... as soon as I can find
a steady job we will get married. Her family likes me too and they just
made it a condition that I find a good steady job. Of course they don't
know I hustle for a living. I told them I have some part time jobs here
and there when I find some. Therefore... we will have to part soon you
understand..."

He stopped talking because I had silently started to cry and he felt my
tears flow on his chest.

"Nicola! You are crying! I knew that this could pain you, but... but you
knew that this was my plan didn't you? I always clearly told you..."

"Yes, that's true..." I admitted but was not able to hold back my tears.
I added, "I wish you to be happy, Giorgio."

He caressed me pulled up my face and dried my tears smiling to me, "You
really are such a good boy, Nicola." He whispered and bent over to kiss
me on the lips.

At first it was just a tender kiss suggested by his affection but it
gradually imperceptibly changed into an erotic kiss more and more
strongly charged with lust and with our repressed desire. I felt on fire
with excitement and therefore tried to pull away from him. To wriggle
away gently but he hugged me more strongly against him and kissed me
with more vigour.

When I finally managed to free my mouth I said to him heart-broken, "Oh,
Giorgio... stop I, please... Can't you feel that you are arousing me
like that... and you are making me desire..."

"I too am aroused and desire you. Feel here..." he said wrapping me in
his arms and his legs and making me feel all his throbbing erection and
feeling mine. He again kissed me with passion and then said, "And I feel
that this time I want to make love to you I must do it... like a kind of
parting gift. I know that you have desired it for so long ... And I feel
I desire it this night with all my heart. Let yourself go Nicola. Let's
give each other one last night really together. Every time I remember
you I want to remember you like this in my arms because you really are a
special friend to me. I'm not asking you to have a fuck I don't want
just to relieve myself I want to make love to you properly - to tell
each other with the whole of our bodies how important we are to each
other."

How could I refuse when I well knew that I dreamed of nothing else but
that? At least for one time to feel desired and loved by Giorgio!

And I finally really experienced all the tenderness and all the passion
of my Giorgio. It was such a long, intense and sweet a union! He
caressed and kissed and cuddled me and he took me and he gave himself to
me! He did everything to me and let me do everything to him without any
limit without any restraint utterly and wholly. He gave me all his
tenderness, all his warmth, all his vigour and accepted from me all my
passion, all my desire, all my love! He rode me like a wild Stallion and
received me with full devotion, And when we finally collapsed worn out
but sated we fell asleep hugging and kissing each other.

The morning after he woke me up almost at noon by kissing me. "Wasn't
that great Nicola wasn't it?"

"You are sure it wasn't just a dream?" I asked feeling as light as a
feather.

"No, it was a wonderful night that I will never forget. I will never
forget it Nicola."

"Nor will I... You know I love you."

"Yes I know. And I'm sorry I am not able to be in love with one of my
own sex - you would be the most worthy of it believe me. I think that no
man could ever be for me what you are. I owed you such a night of love
before we parted."

"Did you do it just for me? Like a... a farewell gift?"

"No, I did it for myself too. I desired you all along too - ever since
we have known each other. But I knew that for you it was love and I
couldn't return it to you and so at least physically I had to keep my
distance. So it was a mutual farewell gift."

Having had him consenting right at the very moment when I was going to
lose him forever! Irony of destiny; sarcasm of life.

++++++++++++++++

Back home he told the others he would soon leave because he was about to
get married. Our friends reactions were different but everyone wished
him all the best. MemŽ as soon as he could get a word alone with me told
me that he could imagine how much pain I felt at Giorgio's decision. I
then confided in him the story of our first and last intense night of
love.

MemŽ widened his eyes and commented with a funny, "Who can understand
these men! Jors tells you he is going to leave you and makes love with
you so as never to forget you! But Niki how do you feel?"

"How can I feel? Like a shipwrecked man on a desert island. Still alive
thank god but with nothing left to live for."

MemŽ squeezed my hand and nodded and I saw that his eyes were glossy as
if he was moved. He was sharing my pain.

I plunged into my work multiplying the dates and devoting myself as I
never did before to my johns. But once I was back home while I was
sleeping I often woke up and looked at the shadow of my Giorgio sleeping
on his bed and I kept on thinking as a refrain "I'm losing you, I'm
losing you, I'm losing you..."

After that last night in Venice we never had any more physical contact
at home even though Giorgio was more sweet and careful with me than
before. I did nothing to try to have a night of love with him again. I
was cuddling into my heart and into my memory that unforgettable
Venetian night under the canopy on that ancient bed. After all I was
grateful to my beloved one for having decided to give me that single
last, incredible and wonderful proof of love.

+++++++++++++++

Alberto called me for one of his secret meetings without his wife, and
asked me if I could take with me a friend too, because he wanted to try
a threesome. So I went to his place with Jimmi. He asked us to fuck him
at once at his two ends, one in his mouth and the other in his arse and
then to swap places. When Alberto came he started to cry. Jimmi looked
at me with an interrogative expression and I signalled him to leave us
alone. He understood immediately and said he needed to go to the toilet.

I then embraced Alberto and asked him, "What's up? What's happening?"

"Amongst his tears (he seemed like a child in spite of his thirty years)
he said, "I'm more of a fag than you and your friends together... I'm a
rotten faggot..."

I said, "It's not a tragedy being gay. Each of us is as he is."

"But I love my wife... and I'm a fag... and..."

"Don't make a tragedy of it. You can go on as you have up to now, can't
you?"

"If I had understood it earlier, I would have done better not to
marry..."

"But maybe you aren't really gay... you might be bisexual. There are
plenty of them you know..."

I gradually managed to calm him down.

When we left his home Jimmi told me, "I was afraid I was going to have
to spend the rest of my life in that toilet! What the fuck happened an
identity crisis?"

"Yes, more or less."

"I always said that we hustler are really and truly social workers...
Well not all of us: amongst us there are also some bastards. But first
you have to make them enjoy it then cheer them up too! Unrewarding and
hard work!"

"Happily not all our johns are like that." I said with a smile.

"Luckily! Or else we would be in danger of going mad and we would surely
end in an asylum... Who knows why people are not able to live with their
sexuality more naturally and more simply?!"

-----------------------------

CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 6

-----------------------------

In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to
read them, the URL is

http://andrejkoymasky.com

If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English
translations, so that I can put on-line more of my  stories in English
please e-mail at

andrej@andrejkoymasky.com

---------------------------