Date: Sun, 21 Dec 2003 00:26:04 +0000 From: Jo Vincent Subject: Aladdin's Awakening: Part 80. Usual Disclaimer: If you are not of an age to read this because of the laws of your country or district please desist. If you are a bigot or prod-nosed fundamentalist of any persuasion find your monkey-spanking literature elsewhere and keep your predilections and opinions to yourself. Everyone else welcome and comments more than welcome. This is a very long tale. It unfolds over a good number of years. What is true, is true: what is not is otherwise. ALADDIN'S AWAKENING By Joel Chapter 46 (Part Three) Christmas 1947 - New Year 1948 When I got home Flea, Lachs and Sayed were already ensconced. They were going to stay a week before going on up to Chester. Flea had now left school and was raring to go to the RAF Training School in January. It was his turn to be teased. With both Lachs and Sayed he didn't have a chance. Every time he appeared they made 'zoom zoom' noises and Pa was no better, calling him Pilot Officer Prune. I think he looked to me for moral support. Unfortunately I joined in the teasing. I asked him how good he was at maths as pilots had to make sure they kept the number of landings equal to the number of take-offs. He said as soon as he could fly I was going to be first to be taken out over the Atlantic and dropped from a great height. He had decorated my, or our, bedroom with two large recruiting posters and a whole load of RAF memorabilia he'd cadged or bought in junk shops. There were various badges and insignia flashes and a couple of caps and a flying helmet. He was keen and no doubt about it. But, pride of place on my chest of drawers was the dirk in its leather sheath he had been presented with on his last parade with the School Cadet Force. He also had a large photograph of his Company but signed on the back by at least a hundred of his schoolmates. I felt very proud for him as well and when we were in bed that night I told him so. He shut me up the easiest way and I had to say that for eight weeks I'd had to comfort myself. He said it was his turn now and he would be in the same boat - or barracks - for who knows how long after the New Year. He said he didn't know whether to ask Sayed if he knew why camels were called ships of the desert. I asked why? He giggled and said they were always full of Arab seamen. I said from what I had judged about Sayed he would appreciate that. He did and said it was a good thing Flea was joining the Air Force as he would be able to pull on his joystick whenever he was up. Actually, I also came in for plenty of banter. The three of them were all the same size - five feet five inches within a smidgen's difference - I was six feet two inches so I was the human bean-pole, Lofty, Lanky, Sky-scraper, whatever. Sayed had made some remark that he thought the Yeti lived on the slopes of the Himalayas and I probably had one nesting. I picked him up and threatened to put him in the dustbin but was attacked on all sides by the other two. What I didn't realise was that I had picked up a Prince who giggled and wriggled just like anyone else, especially when he received a smart smack on his backside. Pa and Ma coped very well having four loony, laughing young men around the house. Pa kept up his barrage of teasing, especially with Flea. At dinner one evening he said that three officers were discussing wonderful inventions. The Naval officer said he thought the compass was wonderful, using the earth's magnetic field to give the direction one was sailing in. The Army officer thought that the Chinese invention of gunpowder had been marvellous. The chemical reaction in a confined space could propel very heavy cannon balls a long way. The Air Force officer said he thought the thermos was even more extraordinary. The other two looked puzzled and asked, 'Why?'. Oh, said the Airman, if you want hot things kept hot you put hot things in it and if you wanted cold things kept cold you put cold things in it. 'Yes' queried the others, 'What about it?' 'Ah, how does it know?' said the Airman. All too soon they were off and I had strict instructions not to miss the final parade in June when Lachs and Sayed would be commissioned. Flea, although excited about the prospects, was rather uneasy about what he might be letting himself in for. Pa didn't help by saying he's heard that the final assessment for Air Force personnel often included the statement "This man is depriving some village of its idiot!" but Flea shouldn't worry as there was always plenty of space at Clare College for a few more. I had loads of work to do so had a few days respite before Tom Buchanan arrived home on leave. He was now a proper Corporal and was doing some specialised work with a couple of boffins putting together their designs for some new communications device which had a new sort of valve. I had no idea what he was talking about but he and Pa had quite long conversations about it. He like me had been quite celibate since I'd seen him last. He said he was taking Betty Briggs to the pictures and, not to be outdone, I asked Kats if she would like to go too! Nothing happened for either Tom or I. A quick cuddle and a goodnight kiss. We compared notes the next day and it had been two wanks apiece to reduce our swellings! Duncan was home for Christmas. He was rather torn because he was due for demob but his Colonel had recommended him for a permanent commission if he signed on. He really wanted to go to university and the Colonel said he could sign on until late summer and should apply to Edinburgh University to take his degree but maintain a link with the regiment. His father advised him to take the university course and if he wanted he could sign on afterwards. Christmas was quite hectic. Christmas Eve we all went to the Marchams. Christmas Day we went to the Trings with the Buchanans as well and on Boxing Day everyone seemed to congregate at ours. We then recuperated on Saturday and Sunday because on Monday I was going to Ulvescott for the New Year with Ma and Pa going up to Chester to see Grandma and Grandpa. They were staying at the old house with Uncle Edward and Aunt Della and would have another dose of the three lads. I met up with Tony and Kats at the bus station. She had decided she wanted to stay at Ulvescott as well and Mrs Fry had arranged for her to borrow a horse from a neighbouring farmer who was a keen rider. Borrow a horse? I said I'd heard of neighbours borrowing cups of sugar but I had never heard of borrowing a horse. She said I was daft and if I was a bit braver I could learn to ride anyway. I said my bicycle was my steed and it didn't need feeding. Bran and Finbar were waiting at the gate and Finbar was now almost fully grown. He was now as adept as Bran in shaking paws and waited while Bran was hugged before it was his turn. I seemed to get a special lick when I put my arms around his neck. As usual, Tony and I were sharing and Kats had one of the large rooms which had been cleaned and re-decorated and looked very smart indeed. She had three suitcases which we gallant young men had lugged off the bus for her. I still had my stick but was getting more used to putting weight on my leg so I carried her lightest case as well as mine. Of course, both Tony and I grumbled the whole time just to show we weren't intimidated by the female presence. Mrs Crossley was obviously very fond of her niece and I realised more and more what a nice person she was. She was used to having her leg pulled by her brother and she gave back as good as she got, but always without being nasty. She had wanted to know all the things I was doing at college and seemed genuinely interested in all the goings on. I had plenty to tell about Charley Lascelles who, though working quite steadily, managed to go to parties and dinners almost every night. That was at least for the first half of term before I had to tell him his allowance was going to run out if he didn't moderate his spending. I didn't have the money to indulge in bottles of good wine and four course dinners with the Eton set and nor did he, so I managed to get him down to the boathouse most afternoons to do some serious training for the Bumps races coming up in February. I'd been to a couple of rowdy parties with Tony's college rugger-buggers. They were mainly harmless, brainless, clueless and docile unless they had three or four pints of good English ale in them, then they rampaged. Charley had come in for a couple of brushes with one college team as he made his way back to Clare all togged up in white tie and tails. It was only because a couple of the team had been at school with him that he escaped unscathed. Generally, if you were labelled an 'aesthete' or were 'arty' then debagging was the usual fate. The damage which Charley had been billed for was the result of a rather boisterous evening in which the study room I was now in had been trashed because of some misunderstanding. It had actually belonged to one of the 'boaties', who were another set of muscular, dim, gormless, but, when sober, affable youths. This one had gone to the local hospital with some injury and the others, too drunk to notice their error, had thought it belonged to the editor of the student magazine. He had printed a few choice little jokes like 'What do you call a boatie with half a brain?' 'Gifted'; 'What's the difference between a pair of clogs and a French letter?'; 'You can hear a boatie coming in a pair of clogs' and 'What's big and hairy and sticks out of a boatie's pyjamas?' 'His head'. So, next thing we knew was Kats all togged up in jodhpurs and riding jacket rushing off to try out her borrowed mount. Naturally, we asked her how 'Sugar' was when she returned looking windswept and ruddy-faced. New Year's Eve Mrs Crossley put on a party for quite a few of her relations, friends and neighbours - about forty or so in all. The Frys were there with Big Jim Chater plus numerous farmers and contingents of their sons and daughters. Even the ninety-plus Lady Bing was there. Some rapprochement was evident in that Josh was there with his brother but no Sam Catt, although his mother and father were introduced to me. I met Isabella. She was a stunning redhead and was there with a tall, flaxen-haired youth, who was all teeth and receding chin. I hoped he'd got something in his undies to compensate for that rather gormless look, which, given the way she clung to him most of the evening, was a most probable certainty. There was a little band, a quintet of piano, saxophone, trumpet, double-bass and drums and they played very sedate waltzes and quicksteps with a couple of country dances added in for good measure. I knew nothing about dancing but was expertly handled by Kats. I mean handled. She was much in demand all evening by the horny-handed sons of toil - some of them real toughies and bruisers from life on the farm. But I had the last waltz of the evening which was a real smooching close-up hug with quite lascivious movements of pelvises. She must have known that I wasn't carrying a small cucumber in my pants but smiled as we parted and said she'd had a marvellous time. Tony had been acting as barman during the evening in tandem with a farmer's son who had broken an ankle playing Rugby so couldn't dance. Both had worked on the principle of one drink for a customer and one for them so when the witching hour of midnight came and the toast to the New Year was drunk both were pretty well plastered. I helped Tony upstairs and put him to bed where he snored stertorously until I threatened to put a pillow over his head. New Year's morning was clear-up time after the party and getting rid of hangovers time. Lunch was getting rid of 'rests', the left-overs from the party. After lunch Kats was going riding on 'Sugar' or Morning Glory to give it its proper name. 'It' was the operative, or operated, word. Morning Glory was a gelding. All cock and no balls. Tony and I crossed our legs when the very handsome horse was displayed to us the first afternoon. In fact he said it was a good job we'd christened it Sugar and not Sugar Lumps as the poor thing had no lumps! Whether it sensed some competition in the length of cock stakes we didn't know but as Kats was patting its head and remarking on the fineness of its fetlocks a long dangling snake appeared and a torrent of evil-smelling, yellow piss squirted from the well over a foot- long dark, thick appendage. "Beat that, Sugar Lumps Thomson" was Tony's comment as he nudged me in the side. That night I stretched his cock as much as I could and squeezed his lumps before he cried out for mercy and said his glory was about a quarter of Morning Glory's but at least he could produce more from his lumps than the poor beast could. He did in abundance! Anyway, New Year's afternoon turned out cold and a bit slippery so I said I would retire to the bedroom and read while Kats was going off riding and Tony, Josh and Jim were taking the dogs for a long ramble to work off some of the alcohol deposits. Mrs Crossley and Miss P were spending the afternoon at the Fry's playing Bridge. I took my trousers off as I wanted to massage my knee muscles as the Swiss masseuse had shown me. So, I was lying under the covers like that when I heard a stomping and swearing coming up the stairs. It was Kats. She was in a mood. Morning Glory had refused a fence or something and had thrown a tantrum at something else so Kats had brought him (it) back to the barn. She looked at me in bed and started to divest herself of her riding boots and take off her riding jacket. Before I knew anything else she was unbuttoning her jodhpurs and next thing she was nude and in bed on top of me. My books went flying as she roughly unbuttoned my shirt with one hand and thrust her hand down the waistband of my underpants and grabbed my still quiescent prick. She was rubbing herself up and down me and that did it. I was hard in an instant. "God! I love you, Jacko?" he breathed in my ear as she nibbled at it. "Do you love me?" I must say I was in a turmoil. I knew I loved her. I loved Lachs and Flea. I loved her brother. I loved her. I loved her deeply, madly, passionately..... Somehow my shirt and underpants came off. "I want you to fuck me," she said, "You fuck Tony so I want you to fuck me! I know you do, I've read his diaries!" I was a bit gobsmacked. I knew I fucked Tony. Whenever possible. In his diaries? Kats had read them? We were too far gone to have more conversation. I was kissing her. My hand was between her legs. My fingers were in her. I was touching her magic button. She was gripping my rampant prick. We stroked each other and worked each other up to such a frenzy the next thing I knew I was lying on top of her with her knees up either side of me and I was ready to enter her. "I want you now!" she panted. "I want all of you, please Jacko. Love me!" My cock was aimed and entered. I had been told that the first time a girl bled as you had to break something. This was so easy. My full seven inches was buried deep in her and without any further movement it was as if my spunk was sucked out of me. I shot a terrific load, rested about a minute and then began to fuck in earnest. Kats was babbling sweet words of encouragement and clawing at my arms and back urging me on. At some point she gave great gasps as she must have had her own orgasm. I filled her with a second load of semen and collapsed. We lay side by side cuddling each other, my cock still hard inside her. We murmured words of love for each other until she moved away from me. "Oh, Jacko," she said, kissing me on the nose, "That was even better than I could ever have imagined." It was too. I could equate it with the most intense feelings I had ever felt. I knew I loved Flea and Lachs and Tony. And now I loved her. I was all confusion. I wanted to fuck and fuck and fuck. She rolled away from me and kissed me very tenderly on the lips. "Don't worry Jacko," she whispered, "I'm due in a couple of days. It'll be OK." With that she gathered up her clothes and disappeared out of the room. Don't worry? Oh, my God! We had been so carried away. But then, I didn't have anything. But then, she had been determined to be fucked. Oh my God! But then, she was due in a couple of days. Oh my God! And was I the first? She had been so easy to enter and all the stories I'd heard. Oh my God! I got up and went and washed. I dressed and did the only thing I knew to lessen the tension I felt. I went down and played the piano. I was still playing as people straggled back. Two damp dogs came and sat by me. Tony brought me a cup of tea. I had fucked him two nights ago. I had fucked his sister this afternoon. What could I say to him? I played the introduction to 'Pale Hands'. He sang it and I knew we both relived our time in Switzerland and the enjoyable experiences especially with Johann. I was a bit distracted the rest of the day. Tony must have sensed this because no sooner we were in bed that night he asked me. "Tell me what happened," was all he said. I hugged him and told him all, even the bit about Kats having read his diaries and said how sorry I was to have let him down. Actually I was a bit miffed about him writing about me in his diaries. However, he kissed me very tenderly. "Sorry about Kats and the diary. I've got my own code but she's worked it out - just like bloody Nobbo and his brother. But, I know Kats loves you and I think you can love her too. Think about it. I'm still your friend and I'm so grateful you're my friend - and a bit of a lover," he added with a bite at my ear lobe. He licked my ear. "Got a confession to make to you, too. Know Percy Magill?" Of course I knew Percy Magill. A brawny second row forward in the King's team. Big, brown-haired, always a broad grin on his face and the most massive feet one's ever seen. "He's fucked me quite a few times over the last few weeks. Cock doesn't match his feet though. Apologised the first time. We got a bit drunk and he ended up in my bed. He's got the hots for Phil Laker, though." Phil Laker was even bigger and was the most masculine looking lad in their team. Burly, black-haired and beetle-browed and played at full-back. He liked a drink or two, too. Tony chuckled. "Perce keeps asking me what he should do. Thinks I've got all the answers. Phil's not overhung either from the looks in the bath but he's got a nice body and Perce wants a taste of it. He's always with Cas though." Caswell March was their scrum-half. A small, dark-haired Welsh lad with a good tenor voice which, combined with Tony's, always led the sing-songs after matches. "Suggest a threesome, or, even better, a foursome, get 'em pissed first," I said. Tony giggled. "Good idea, I wouldn't mind having a go at Cas myself." "You be careful," I said, "They probably haven't worked out your preferences and if you get the wrong one you'll be right in the shit!" Tony stroked my back. "I've been observing things a good deal over the past few years and I don't think there are many lads, when shove comes to push, who won't try anything once and most have by now. It's right time and right place!" Right time and right place? Kats had made sure of that. I was hooked. But, I wasn't going to learn to ride a bloody horse! We did have a little heart to heart talk before we left for home. She said I was definitely the first. I was about to ask about how girls were constructed when she said she and Bella had practised extensively with each other and it was true about girls and candles. Oh crikey, the rugger song, 'All the nice girls love a candle', so it was true! I did see her a couple of times before Tony and I made our way back to Cambridge. One night at the pictures I did manage to fondle a breast and her tongue was very active when we kissed goodnight on the doorstep. The work during the term was interesting and I was feeling I was doing very well. Tony was very chirpy. In the cold spell there was no rugger and I think he and Perce spent a good deal of time together. I know Jem and Sam did. I was out one afternoon seeing Frau Metzler and cycled back on my second- or even fifth- hand old bike Willy had procured for me for ten bob, when I noticed the light was on in my study room as I passed. That was odd. I knew I had switched off the light in the morning and Jem wasn't due to clear up that day. But, the light was shining on this dark afternoon. I let myself in as quietly as possible. My bedroom door was ajar and I could see by the light on in the study room that the bed was occupied. I crept to the door and peeked in. Two black-haired heads, close together, sound asleep - Jem and Sam. They looked so peaceful and content. There were two neat piles of clothes on the chair and dressing table. Jem's and Sam's. I, as silently as possible, slipped a shilling onto each pile and slipped out myself as silently as possible. I did rattle my outer door and went to Charley's rooms opposite mine. He was trying to write an essay so I made us both a cup of tea and watched out of his window as, first, one black-suited youngster appeared, bold as brass, and walked off towards the buttery. A couple of minutes later a second figure appeared, head in the air, and walked towards the Porter's Lodge. Teatime over I went to my rooms. There was a piece of paper on my desk - just a scrap of paper, but in a neat hand was 'Thanks' and a 'J' and an 'S' in a different hand. * The next morning I was wakened by a discreet cough and a cup of hot tea was handed to me. Nothing was said and although my bed must have been used many times after that no more sleeping beauties were discovered. I did get a shy smile from Sam when I went into dinner that next night as he was on duty in Hall. I closed one eye, very slowly, and was rewarded with a slight blush. ** On Wednesday the third of March I'd had a tutorial from nine o'clock to ten o'clock in the morning with Dr Blake. I had read through an essay, with comments from Donald and Francis and a summing-up from Dr Blake, and I think I did pretty well, so I was pleased with myself. I sauntered into the Porter's Lodge where Willy was in sole command. "Any mail, Mr Roberts?" I asked, very formally. Willy turned round from the notice board where he'd been pinning a piece of paper. He grinned at me and produced a small batch of correspondence from a pigeon-hole. I scanned the first billet-doux. It was from the Chaplain reminding me it was my turn to read the Lesson in Chapel on Friday week. There was a note from Wilkie inviting me to a recital in their Chapel on the Thursday and a couple of flyers from clubs soliciting membership. There was also a letter with a Kerslake postmark with my address in familiar handwriting. "By the way, Jacko," Willy was saying, as I slit the letter open with the paper-knife conveniently placed on the desk between us., "Your friend, Mr Marcham, is cutting a swathe through the undergraduate population of King's." "Un-huh" I said, as I unfolded the two sheets of paper in the envelope. I had half an ear to what Willy was saying as I guessed it might be a bit of juicy gossip. I looked up at him. "Yes," he said, "There is talk of him being pursued by four members of the rugger team, three boaties and three members of the choir." "Not the boys, I hope," I said. "No, two tenors and a bass," said Willy, "Very popular is your friend." I had just read the first two paragraphs of the letter and was staring at it. "Talk of the devil," says Willy, "He's here!" Willy clapped his bowler hat on his head as a scurrying figure, undergraduate gown flying behind him, bounced into the Lodge. He had a letter in his hand, too. "Hello, Mr Roberts," he said, "Must fly. Come on Jacko, to your room!" I was still trying to digest the news but was almost dragged to my room where I sat down heavily by the table. "Kats' pregnant," I gasped. "I know," said Tony, "I've had a letter this morning, too!" "I've got to go home," I said, "I'd better pack. I'll get a job!" "You'll do no such thing!" said Tony very firmly. "Have you read the second letter?" I hadn't realised the second page was in a different handwriting. It was from Tony and Kats' mum. I scanned it. She said Kats had told her. I was to do nothing foolish, that word underlined. All would be well. Kats wanted the baby. Oh God! Girls having babies and not being married were the end for families. Perhaps in a village like Pinmill, girls like Peggy Finch would be accepted, but in a town like Kerslake the gossip and the pointing fingers would be overwhelming. I had to marry Kats. I had to leave college and get a job. What job? I was eighteen. I had no training. I was in turmoil. Tony sensed this and put his hands out and grasped mine. He spoke slowly. He must have read my mind. "If you marry her you will not leave college. Mum says in the letter to me that is an order..." "......I'll marry her!" I expostulated, "I want to! She's having my baby!" Tony smiled at me. "If the baby is as nice and good as you I'll be proud to be it's uncle." We sat silently a moment or two. I was still digesting the news. "I'll go and see Willy," he said, "I'll get him to cover for us. His dad's best friend is our Head Porter. If we catch the midday train we can get to Kerslake this afternoon. You can talk to Mum and Kats and see your Mum and Dad and then we can come back tomorrow morning. All settled!" I don't know what Tony told Willy but a taxi was called and we were at the station in good time and actually caught the eleven o'clock train. I was very tense but Tony managed to lighten the atmosphere by telling me about an invite he'd had at the weekend. Luckily we were the only ones in the compartment. "I haven't told you, Jacko, about going up to London for the weekend, have I?" I knew there had been something on as I had seen nothing of him from Friday evening when he, I and Charley had taken advantage of Charley's father's invitation to have dinner at the Blue Boar anytime on him. We had said that Charley wasn't really invited and if old Bert didn't honour the signature for three he'd have to wash-up afterwards in the kitchen. Old Bert was most affable and didn't even present a bill and made some remarks that young gentlemen these days were much better behaved. Tony grinned. "What I tell you goes no further, eh?" Surely, Tony must know me by now! I nodded. "Yes, it will, or yes, it won't?" he persisted "Get on with it," I said. He settled back in his seat. "You know I'm friendly with Perce don't you?" As he'd told me that Perce fucked him regularly of course I knew. I nodded again. "Well, Perce has this cousin in Town, who's...." Tony made a sign which I interpreted as meaning he had much the same inclinations as Tony - and I assumed, Perce. "....Well he had this dinner at his flat in Mayfair on Saturday and Perce was asked if he had a friend he could ask and we caught the train up after the game in the afternoon. Very select - had to change when we got there, black tie - but as we went in to dinner we were given a mask to wear. Just over eyes and nose. When I saw him I only knew it was Perce 'cause he'd got a great bruise on his chin so I didn't know who else was there. There were ten of us. Most of them seemed older than us, mainly in the City from the conversations going on. Bloody good meal, but wait for it - it was served by four young men with nothing on but black leather jockstraps. Big lads. Might have been padded a bit but they were all pretty muscular with it." He leaned forward in his seat. "Recognised one of them. It was Nobbo's brother, Billy!" He waited while I assimilated that information. Billy, I knew, was now reading English at University College London. As far as I knew, his fellow ex-Sergeant Tester was there as well. Was he another of the hunks there? I'd seen Billy in the nude and knew he was quite a muscular young man. I also knew, from Nobbo's worries, that Billy had a nefarious past. Nobbo was convinced that Billy had made lots of money by 'selling his arse' as he had put it. I wondered if this new venture was how Billy was earning his pocket-money now? Funny, as jockstraps, leather or not, had no pockets! As Tony had been so forthcoming I felt I had no reason not to tell him what I knew. "I'm not surprised," I said, "Nobbo was always worried about how Billy earned his money in Kerslake. Moved up a notch or two, has he?" Tony laughed and said Nobbo had also confided in him so that was why he wasn't so surprised at seeing Billy at the rather louche dinner. "Anything happen?" I asked. Tony shook his head. "It was obviously keep your hands off the servants, though I did notice a few admiring looks when plates were handed round." He smiled. "Billy knows how to show himself off. I wondered what it was and Perce told me afterwards he and the other three were all covered in oil to make them shine and to show off their muscles." "Something to get your rugger crowd to do. You'd slip out of the clutches of the other sides then." "Daft fool you are. Why d'you think most of them play rugger but to be clutched at every opportunity. You should have seen Cas and Phil Laker hanging on to each other in the baths warbling out that one about the bastard Stephen." I remembered that song I'd heard several times about the young lady who had pleasured herself with a fountain pen which, unfortunately, like Peggy's Naval amour's French letter, had leaked, 'And they called the bastard, Stephen, because that was the name of the ink'. Apparently he and Perce were being put up in the spare bedroom while Perce's cousin and 'friend' retired to the main bedroom. Tony hadn't told Perce he'd recognised one of the young 'Adonises' as Perce called them but he said the sight of them, plus the excitements of the afternoon game, had made Perce extra horny. So, there was Tony getting his oats regularly. I was too, by exercising the muscles in my right arm in solitary splendour. Even Jem and Sam were getting more than I was. But then, what was destined for me in the future? We were very flush that day and also took a taxi up to Tony's. He had 'phoned home as soon as we arrived at Kerslake Station. Mrs Marcham met us at the door and hugged me tightly and whispered that all was well. We went into the drawing-room where Kats was sitting and she burst into tears immediately. I rushed over to her and knelt by where she was sitting. "Please, Kats," I said quietly but very firmly, "Will you marry me?" The floods of tears increased but she leaned forward and grasped me round the shoulders. "I didn't want it this way," she said very hesitantly. "Are you sure? I could go away." "I'm sure," I said, quietly. "We'll have to work it all out, though." Mrs Marcham came across and also knelt. "Is it what you really want, Jacko?" she asked. I nodded. "It's my baby as well as hers," I said, "I want to share everything with Kats. But I haven't got anything." She also put her arms round me. "It'll all be all right," she said softly. "You've got a future and one thing is you mustn't leave college. Katherine will be all right, too. We'll look after you both and the baby, don't worry. I want grandchildren and I know that Tony won't be having any." There was a gasp from across the room. Mrs Marcham stood up and went over to where a transfixed Tony stood. "It's all right, darling, I've known for a long time." She laughed and put her arms round her immobile son. She let go and stood back. "You didn't know your Uncle Robert, my young brother. He died when he was twenty-one, burst appendix. His friend went to America. You're so like him - I could read you both like a book. You're my son and I only want you to be happy." There was a questioning look in Tony's eyes. His mother took the cue. "Your father knows. He was Robert's best friend's older brother. That's how we met." Tony gaped. "Uncle Lester?" His mother nodded. "Now you know. That's how we knew about you." "You and dad both knew?" "Yes. But that's enough of you for the moment." She turned and came over to two other equally transfixed young people. I stood up and Mrs Marcham motioned me towards the sofa. She beckoned Tony over and he sat by me. "If you really want to get married, the sooner the better," she said. "I suggest the Saturday after Easter." She turned to me. "At Ulvescott Church. You'll have to arrange a special licence but Gerald will take care of it. I'll come with you tonight to see your mother and father. You'd better talk to them first Don't worry, these things happen in the best regulated families. Even Tony was a bit premature!" "Mother!" came a rather strangulated cry from the figure next to me. Mrs Marcham was nothing if not well organised. I knew she was chairman of some women's organisation in Kerslake and she was in full swing now. No airs and graces! Just plain straightforward talk and kindness. I felt better already. But what was I to tell Ma and Pa. Tony volunteered to come with me. I shook my head. This was my problem. I knew Ma and Pa loved me. I knew Pa and Ma were very proud of me. Had I let them down getting Kats pregnant and jeopardising my future? How was I going to support Kats if I still had more than two more years at Cambridge? Mrs Marcham had said very firmly that I was not to worry about finance. Kats could live at home, or Mr Marcham would find us a flat or small house. I think Mrs Marcham was excited about having a grandchild even though her daughter would just be eighteen when the baby was born. Oh my God, I would still be eighteen when the baby was born as it was due, all being well, in September! We had tea. I wasn't very hungry, for once, and, just before six o'clock, set out with a heavy heart for home. Ma and Pa had just arrived home when I appeared on the back doorstep. Ma went white and Pa looked really shaken. I assured them I was OK but I had some very important news for them. We sat round the kitchen table and I poured out my story. I finished and all Pa did was laugh softly, get up and fling his arms round me. "Congratulations, son!" he said, "You're only keeping up the Thomson tradition!" Ma was sniffing a bit and was about to burst into tears, but said softly, "C'est vrai!" I, like Tony earlier, was rather gobsmacked. "It's true!" Ma had said. "I'm glad it's Kats," he said, leaving go of me and straightening up. "She's a very nice girl. I hope you'll be happy together." He wagged his finger at me. "But no thought of leaving Cambridge. "Mrs Marcham said that," I said, "Can I? How will we manage?" "You're not the first pair," Pa said, grinning, "We'll help you manage." We were interrupted by a ring at the front door bell. Ma hurried out, still looking a bit shaken. Mrs Marcham came in, accompanied by Tony. The kitchen was getting crowded so we all went into the drawing room. I was surprised. All was affability. Ma visibly brightened up as my parents talked with Mrs Marcham. She apologised and said her husband was away until Friday but she had broken the news to him and, although rather taken aback, was most happy I had offered to marry Kats. If possible the wedding would be arranged for Saturday April the Third. I said I wanted a quiet wedding. Tony looked at me with an evil look. Ma and Pa looked askance. Mrs Marcham laughed and said they hadn't had a wedding on the Marcham side for ages so it was going to be as many friends and relations as possible. She was the mother of the bride - she winked at Ma - and she would arrange all with my mother! Tony laughed and said he would see no one was missed out as far as friends were concerned. I was in too much of a state to argue. All this was arranged in about half an hour. I had a hurried supper and cycled round to Tony's to talk to Kats. We were left alone in the drawing room and we hugged and cuddled each other and expressed our undying love. I hadn't got a ring to give her, I said. She smiled and said I had given her something much, much better. She was going to have my baby! She said she had spoken to her father on the telephone and he had said whatever we wanted we could have. I said, when I could, I would provide and pay back anything and everything. I felt so much more relieved as we kissed goodnight and Mrs Marcham and Tony said goodnight, too. Tony said we would be catching the ten o'clock train in the morning and not to be late. I sat with Ma and Pa until almost midnight and heard much more about the family than I had ever guessed or known. Pa said that he and Ma were so much in love that they had anticipated their wedding at least a month before, hence the tale that I was premature. The same was true, so Pa asserted as far as Uncle Dick and Auntie Fay were concerned and he was sure it was more than a month with them! And then, what about Uncle Edward and Aunt Della? I was much more relaxed by now and thought back to what Uncle Edward had said about that first Jacques Fontane and Charlotte Crossley. They had beaten the starting pistol with a vengeance! It must run in the family. Or, I was getting the feeling, in most families. Ma asked if I was happy getting married. I said I was anxious but, I smiled, I felt so happy that Kats was having our baby. That made me happy. I went over to her and knelt and hugged her. "I want to be as happy as you have been with me, I hope," I said. "I'm sorry I wasn't very much of a good son when I was a bit younger, but you're the best mother anyone could have and I am sure you'll be the best grandmother!" After that we went to bed. I was so weary I just slept. On the train journey back Tony was busy making notes in an exercise book. I asked him what he was doing. "Making out the guest list," he said. He waved the book at me. There was already at least a page of names. "You've got to have a best man. That'll be Matt. I'll be in charge of ushers and I'll sing. We'll have Tim play the organ. Nobbo, Cleggy and Roo will be ushers. Then there's Tom and your new cousins. We'll have them as a guard of honour in their uniforms. And Matt can wear his Naval uniform as well as your best man." He paused to consult the list. "You've got three cousins in Wales, haven't you? They'll have to be there and your aunts and uncles and your grandparents. Mum's going to arrange with Aunt Mary to use Ulvescott for the reception....." I held up a hand. "....Hold it, hold it, hold it," I said. "All those people won't want to come to my wedding. They'll only laugh and know I'm having to get married....." Tony held up his hand, too. "....."They'll all come because they're your friends. They won't care. You're the first of our lot to get married. They'll all be envious." He giggled. "Shouldn't be surprised if you don't set a fashion - there'll be plenty of young ladies in an interesting condition once your news gets around.... ....Julia Ward's going to be livid and what about Lizzie Tilson?" "Shut up," I said, half jokingly, but rather unsettled at the same time. "I suppose I'd better write some letters before long to forewarn them all." "The young ladies?" "No, you fool, my so-called friends and relations!" "Well, you and I had better coordinate our lists because Mum will want to know to send out the invitations. We haven't got long. She said this morning she was planning to go to the printers this afternoon!" I said we could do it this evening. I wanted to change the subject. I had remembered what Willy Roberts had been saying when I received the letter. "Willy was telling me you are having an interesting time in any case at King's," I said. Tony looked questioningly at me. I thought I would lead him on a bit. "Something about three boaties, two tenors and a bass!" The toad smirked. "Lies, lies and more lies," he said, "Its four boaties. Can't help it if I have sexual magnetism, can I?" "What do you mean?" I asked. He laughed. "It's nothing. It's just that Perce is having a birthday party and said I can choose the guest list." He raised his eyebrows. "You're on the list and so's Charley. That is, unless you have to mind your P's and Q's when you're a married man. It's the beginning of next term and, as his parties are a bit special and word's got out, there's a bit of competition to see who's invited. As I hold the list I'm very popular." He grinned lasciviously. "Could have a different shag every night. Yeah, I'll see about that. A couple of those boaties are quite well-hung! And I'm sure that Gethyn Williams in the choir has something down below to match his deep bass voice." "Tony!" I said, my prim side emerging. Oh hell. Here am I, prime shagger myself. Brother and sister both submitting more than willingly to my..... Oh, my God! and I'm taken aback by his outspokenness. I laughed. "I suppose you've got to play the field and what Willy said is you're cutting a swathe. Very pastoral, eh?" "And how the hell does Willy know?" queried Tony. "Those Porters are real gossip- mongers. I bet my gyp's been looking at my notebooks. He's that little lad Graham.... He's a pal of your lad Jem.... So, I want to know." I grinned at him. "I'll ask Jem. He owes me a favour." I wasn't going to let on about Jem and Sam. "He'll tell me, even if it costs me a couple of buns from Fitzbillies!" Tony was silent for a moment or two. "There's something else," he said, slowly. I looked at him. His face was quite solemn. I wondered what was coming next. He shook his head. "It's just information but I think you should know." He shut the exercise book. "I thought I knew the name and I asked Mum. Charley Lascelles, I mean." What was this? What name? "It's just that Piers' sister Anne - you know the one who was killed in Kenya - was married to Gerald Lascelles. I remembered the name from something Mum had said years ago. Anyway, when I asked her last night she wouldn't say anything else but that it was correct. And I wonder if he was related to Charley? She wouldn't say any more and said it was all in the past. I know there was something fishy about her death. It was supposed to be an accident, but I found a cutting from an old newspaper a couple of years ago in a box in a wardrobe and there was something about wild parties and other goings-on in the article." Yes, the stone in the churchyard at Ulvescott commemorated the General, plus Piers and Anne, but I couldn't remember if there was a surname. Wow, I was going to ask Charley to be a guest, so I'd better find out somehow. I reported back to Willy to let him know I was back in College. Mr Mason was more and more absent with Willy more and more in charge. I told Willy that I respected his confidence and he said there were some things even a Porter did not share. He had guessed from what Tony had said that it was something very important and his eyebrows also were raised when I told him the reason. He said I had his most sincere congratulations on the impending marriage and also on the impending expectation. There was a hint of a smile. I knew why! "Mr O'Brien's drawing of you showed you in a good light even at the age of fourteen," he said. "A little bird has confirmed to me that the drawing was no exaggeration and would need not a little enhancement if repeated now..." "...I'll murder that little bird when I see him in the morning. The little hound stands and waits until I get out of bed. I've seen him looking!" I said, bursting into laughter. "And you, Willy, I guess you've told the little wretch about that drawing!" "Bird, hound, wretch! I agree," said Willy with as straight a face as one could get, "But most complimentary." He pursed his lips. "I think I did mention I had seen a depiction of yourself at some time. The little wretch had been rummaging through my chest of drawers at home one day looking for socks to borrow and found my own likeness. He said whomsoever had drawn it was kind to me. I boxed his ears and told him to keep his mouth shut. I had to give him the socks!" We laughed together. Jem was going to get his backside smacked next morning if I had anything to do with it. I went to my rooms and no sooner had I got in and unpacked the various goodies both Ma and Mrs Marcham had given me then Charley came stamping in in high dudgeon. "Where the hell have you been?" he almost shouted, "You were missing last night in my hour of need.. Bloody Phelips ranted at me and said I was a worthless good-for-nothing nincompoop without a brain in my head and gave me until Friday to write this bloody essay. I needed a friendly shoulder to weep on and, much more importantly, someone to help me write the bloody thing." He thrust about four pages of rather untidy looking foolscap at me. "Where have you been?" he demanded again. "I'm getting married," I stated, as quietly as I could. The storm abated. He sunk onto the nearest chair by my table. "What?" "I'm getting married, third of April and you're invited," I said. "You've got a girl up the d..." He started quietly, with a gleam in his eye. Before he could say "duff" I interrupted. "My girl friend, soon to be my wife, is pregnant and the marriage is arranged." He jumped up and hobbled round to me and hugged me. "Sorry, old mate," he said and I knew he was sincere, "Shouldn't have said that." He let go and stood back a great grin on his face. "Who is she?" "Tony's sister," I said, "Known her for years. But..... New Year." He nodded. "And.... You staying here?" I said both sides of the family had insisted I stayed. Kats wanted the baby and I wanted to marry her. I then said the wedding was going to be at Ulvescott. His brow wrinkled. "Know that name," he said, "Uncle of mine married someone from there." Mystery solved. Over the next five minutes I found out the Honourable Gerald Lascelles had been the younger brother of Charley's Pater. He'd gone out to Kenya to farm and had married Anne Crossley who was visiting an old school friend out there. The Kenya mob were a fast-living, hell-raising bunch. Charley's side of the story was that Gerald's wife, Anne, was high on drugs and alcohol one night and had gone out riding and had had a fall but everyone else was so sozzled or drugged she wasn't missed until the servants got worried. She was found a couple of days later. Or the remains were found and then Gerald died in the early days of the war from cirrhosis of the liver. Of course, Charley was then informed that Tony's father was Anne's cousin and that I was related to the Crossleys by descent. He wondered if he would be welcome as his father had had little to do with the Crossleys after Anne's death. He said his father knew his brother was a rakehell and one of the reasons he'd gone to Kenya was that he'd got a housemaid pregnant so there was an illegitimate Lascelles as well working in the City. I said we can't help the past and he was invited! We then sat down and I worked through the essay with him. At least, I put an analysis of factors behind the agrarian revolution 1750 to 1850 into reasonable English. I knew none of the facts but they were now presented without spelling errors and without lapses of grammar and syntax. We were working on it when Tony came to see how I was. After the Crossley connections were aired again, he improved on the presentation. Charley said he didn't know what he'd do without us and he was sorry what his family had done to the Crossleys. After they went I wrote several letters. I wrote first to Ma and Pa just saying how I valued them. Then to Mrs and Mrs Marcham and thanked them and said how much help Tony had been to me. I wrote to Kats and to Matt and to Tom and to Lachs and to Flea. I still had many letters to write but I was exhausted and went to bed and slept. I woke suddenly. It was still dark. It was just after six. I got up, washed and dressed and had made a pot of tea and was writing even more letters when Jem sidled in. He must have seen my light was on. I stood up. "Come here, young man," I said, sternly. He looked a bit perplexed. Here I was, up, dressed, writing and drinking my morning tea, long before he usually came in. "What have you been saying to your cousin Mr Roberts about me?" He went bright red and stammered something. I reached out and grabbed him. I bent his five feet eight inches over the table edge and administered a sharp slap to his black-clad backside. He said 'Ouch' and, as I let him go, he turned, rubbing his hands across his sore buttock. "That's for telling your cousin I am quite well-endowed," I said, as sternly as before. "Little boys shouldn't tell tales." He stood back a pace. "I'm sorry, Mr Thomson," he said, then smiled. "Actually, I told him you were very well-endowed!" He jumped back two paces as I lunged towards him. I laughed. "Thank you," I said, "Willy said you were complimentary. But I've news for you. Just for you and Sam and no one else, understand?" He nodded. "I'm getting married. Usual reason. My girl-friend's pregnant. So I've told you before any rumours get round..... ...And I know who has been told so if you and Sam want sore backsides I will know where the rumours will come from. Understand?" He smiled. "Yes, I understand." He giggled. "You're the first this year so far. We had two last year by this time." I had to laugh. There was I thinking I was the only one in the world, or Kerslake, or Cambridge. It happened all the time. Jem thrust out a hand. "Congratulations, Mr Thomson...." he paused, "....I suppose I mustn't call you Jacko now." "You're too cheeky," I said, "You've always called me that when we're in here so.... Just get in there and make my bed! And... in future, you keep your eyes to yourself!" I heard him mutter something like 'couldn't miss something like that staring you in the face' and sat down and got on with my correspondence. I told Dr Blake later that morning. He just smiled and said he hoped it would not interfere with my thought processes as he found married colleagues sometimes were too preoccupied with domestic matters to pay sufficient attention to their academic standing. Actually, he congratulated me and hoped I would have a happy marriage. The Dean and Chaplain said exactly the same. Of course, the news got out and I had several rude encounters, especially with the rugger-buggers and the boaties, who, virgins no doubt to a man, were more than a little envious. Three, quite independently, asked very confidentially how I'd gone about it. I had to admit that I had done little in the initiation of the process. They all went away with glints in their eyes. Two of my mentor group were married. Both were twenty-three and both had wives who were pregnant. They were highly amused. So the end of term approached and all was fixed for my nuptials. I had to get through Easter first. Flea came and stayed for a couple of days en route for Chester. He was full of the joys of spring. He'd had several solo flights and was loving every minute of his training. He was a temporary Flight Sergeant and, if he passed the next hurdle, he would be commissioned in June. Matt had replied that he was honoured to be my Best Man. He was home on Maundy Thursday for three weeks leave after his stint on the frigate. He was so suave and poised now. Naval life really suited him. He had asked if a friend, Capitain Julien LaRiviere, could be invited. He was the young French Naval officer who had been with the French Admiral when Matt had demonstrated his prowess at French. I said of course he could. Full uniform, please. Matt grinned. He also had the news he was being sent on a French language course next and perhaps we could practice! We did practice and I thought after one session that young Jem would have whistled if he'd seen how well-hung Matt was in comparison with me now! Another Dicksie Ward, no doubt!! On the Thursday being the wedding I and a motley crowd of about a dozen of my pals went for a meal at the big hotel in Kerslake. Kats and some of her friends had a similar do at some secret location which Bella had organised. It was the first time I had more than enough to drink and ended up in a taxi with the equally inebriated Matt, Julien and Tony and slept, somehow, four to a bed, in my room at home. Bloody hell, how Frenchmen snore!! Actually, Julien was great fun. He spoke perfect English, but put on a most atrocious accent when he told us a whole load of jokes. 'Four nuns were going to confession. The first confessed she'd thought about a man's dick the night before so the priest told her to say one Hail Mary and anoint her forehead with holy water from the font. The second said she'd dreamed she'd held a man's prick the night before. The priest said "Say two Hail Marys and wash your hands in the holy water". The third nun turned to the one behind her and said "You'd better go next. You won't want to gargle in that font water after what I'll have to wash in there!"' Then there was 'A young Red Indian boy who asked his mother how he got his name. She explained that as soon as a Red Indian baby was born the father picked it up, rushed outside and named it after the first thing he saw. "That's why your brother is called Tall Fir Tree and your lovely sisters are Sparkling Water and Flying Clouds. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"' After we all groaned he said he'd heard them all from British officers in the Mess. There were renewed groans and cries of 'What a mess!'. That set the rest of them off so there was much competition to see who could tell the direst - not necessarily the dirtiest - joke. We decided it was Cleggy who asked if we'd heard about the biologist who had crossed a pear tree with a couple of blue tits - and ended up with an enormous pair of blue trees! So that was a very happy, if hardly memorable, for more reasons than one, evening. Mrs Crossley was most enthusiastic when asked if she would allow the reception to be held at Ulvescott Manor. I don't know how it was arranged but caterers were going to provide a meal in the great drawing-room. All in all, there were about sixty guests. Several of us went over to Ulvescott on Friday to get things organised but the main party of guests, including Grandpa and Grandma, the Cardiff lot and, of course, Uncle Edward, Aunt Della, Flea and Lachs with Julia, trundled along on Saturday morning. Lady Bing and the Duchess were much in evidence and caused amusement as Lady Bing insisted on sitting on the bridegroom's side while Stella was directed to sit across the chancel on the bride's side so there was no favouritism. The service was arranged for twelve noon. We'd had a little rehearsal on Friday and Mrs Crossley had a small dinner party on Friday evening. I was staying at the Manor and Kats at Mrs Fry's as protocol had it we mustn't meet on the morning until we were in church. Kats had Bella and two other friends from school as bridesmaids and there was much surmise among the lads who would be the spare pricks at the wedding. Too bad, as both girls had boy friends as guests and Bella had the chinless wonder with the two-foot dick. At least, that was the rumour which spread! So all went well. Tim Parker played the organ, his brother, John, the cello and Tony sang as we signed the register. It was quite a military affair with Matt resplendent in full dress Naval uniform by my side and Flea, Lachs and Sayed with Tom and Dunc acting as a Guard of Honour on the door as we came out. Julien was there in his full dress French Naval uniform and we used his sword to cut the cake after a very good meal. I also met, for the first time, Captain the Honourable James Pike, his wife and twin fifteen-year-old sons. Miss Pike's brother was just an older version of the boy in the photos. His sons looked just like him and were also destined for the Navy. He had heard about my relationship to the Crossleys and he smiled when I said I felt very close to Piers. He said he had been a very good friend and he had been devastated when he and Miles had been killed at the Somme. He'd been a Midshipman at the time and was on a battleship. He and Matt chatted for ages and I saw the boys descend on Charley as he had been at their school. Charley had enjoyed himself greatly and had, with charm and tact, made peace between the Lascelles family and the Crossleys. In fact, Kats had handed her wedding bouquet to him and he had placed it on the memorial stone. He told me later, when back at college, that the rumour about the chinless wonder was untrue. The rumour was scotched later that evening, he averred, as said lad was plied with drink, much to Bella's annoyance, and had to be helped to a convenient bed where an inspection ensued by a committee of four inquisitive male souls, led by Roo and his brother Kanga, who confirmed he was hung normally for a nineteen-year-old, even though he had balls of quite disparate sizes. Charley said he wasn't one of the inspectors, but had gallantly taken said lad's place by Bella's side, while the scrutiny took place. He said it was a good job the lad didn't come from Devizes. I fell for it. "There was a young lad from Devizes, Whose balls were quite different sizes. The right one was small And no good at all, But the left had won numerous prizes." Two guests, whose presence was commented on by everyone, even though they sat on either side of the church porch throughout the ceremony, were Bran and Finbar. No way were they going to miss the occasion. They had accompanied me and Matt as we walked to the church beforehand and it was Matt's idea to place them. They greeted all and sundry and squatted, either side of Kats and me, in the main photograph. Ma and Pa had given us tickets for Switzerland for our honeymoon so you can imagine the great welcome we got. We stayed at Pascal's father's hotel but spent a great deal of time during the week with Johann and my uncle and aunt who took us around. We had to visit Johann's grandfather who was now living in a beautiful chalet on the other side of Neuchatel. I had to play to him and on our leaving he gave me an envelope with a smile. The first according to Johann. In it was a bank pass book with a deposit of a goodly sum in Swiss francs. Johann had a smile as well as his grandfather had also given him an envelope and in it was an identical pass book. However, I still had to digest other news. On our return from Switzerland we moved into my parents' house until just before I went back to Cambridge. Pa then told us he had accepted a very high-powered job with the Ministry of Defence Scientific Branch, but it meant he and Ma would be leaving Kerslake to live in London. The house was going to be let to Mr Phelps the Maths teacher and his wife, and Pa and Ma would be living in a flat in Kensington Gore, just behind the Royal Albert Hall. Wow, a very posh area. How on earth could they afford it? I knew Pa would be earning a good salary and Ma was now publishing her fourth book and they seemed to be selling well. All was revealed. The flat was owned by Lady Bing. She hadn't visited it for years and Mr Marcham, who was handling all her properties, had suggested it. Not only that, she was so pleased as Tim Parker could have one of the five bedrooms and travel across to the Royal Academy easily. It was a pity he wasn't at the Royal College of Music which was across the road. But, his brother was going there for a year in September, so he would have a room as well. So, I said farewell to Kats, who was more than satisfied with her man during our time together, and went back to Cambridge for the third term of my first year. I was greeted with all sorts of ribaldries and even more envious comments. We'd had some very good presents, not only from family and Kerslake friends, but my tutor group had bought us matching sets of fountain pens and propelling pencils, engraved as well. Dr Blake's present was very valuable. It was a first edition, before it was banned, of Baudelaire's 'Les Fleurs du Mal' and had a note on the flyleaf as Verlaine had given it to someone as a present. Dr Blake said he'd found it in a second-hand bookshop in Paris in the early years of the century. I knew we would value that. One present which amused us greatly was a frying pan and a rolling-pin from - who else - but the six rugger lads, now in the Sixth Form. There was a cryptic note with instructions on how not to jump from said pan into the fire and an injunction to Kats to use the rolling-pin if I stayed out too late. Charley was overwhelmed by the friendliness of all my pals. He'd had long talks with Nobbo and Cleggy who told me they were convinced he could have his foot operated on even now. They would enquire of their Professor of Anatomy. I got the feeling they probably knew just about as much as any Professor from the way they discussed things. All very amusing until they started to discuss all the problems of childbirth! In their opinion - probably heard from some female - that if males had to give birth, things would have been arranged differently. I think it was Nobbo's contribution to the joke festival which said that boys spend nine months struggling to get out of a woman and then spend most of the rest of their life struggling to get back in! However life at college took a turn against Charley soon after term started. I was working quite late one evening when I heard a noise outside. I went quickly to see what it was as I guessed it might be something to do with Charley and I didn't want any of the others on our stair to come rushing. It certainly was Charley! He'd gone out dressed to the nines, white tie, tails, top hat and overcoat. The figure hunched on my doorstep was almost naked. He'd been stripped of everything except his trousers, pants and the heavy shoe and caliper on his bad foot. His trousers were gaping and around his thighs. I hauled him into the room and, somehow got him onto my bed in the bedroom. He was shivering violently as, to add to everything, it was pouring with rain and he was absolutely soaked. I got a couple of towels and rubbed his chest and back and dried him somewhat. I undid his boot and managed to get that off together with the caliper. I pulled off his trousers and pants and, by this time, he was a bit more coherent and helpful, he dried his own legs and feet. I covered him with my blankets and counterpane and got the story from him what had happened. He had gone to a small dinner party given by one of his old school friends and on the way back had come up King's Passage and had been set upon by four youths. He said they must have been townees, who were renowned for their harassment of anyone to do with the university. They were intent on stripping him but gave up when they found he'd got a bad leg. One had booted him, intending to kick him in the goolies, but Charley had managed to roll and now sported a growing bruise on his thigh. What really worried him was that he had a valuable gold watch on a chain which he wore with his white waistcoat. Where was that? Blast, damn and fuck! Charley was vulnerable and to be attacked like that was too outrageous. It was now past locking-up time and College gates would be bolted and barred. He'd managed, somehow, to get back in just before the gates were shut without being spotted by a Porter on duty. His possessions were strewn, we assumed in King's Passage. I said I would go and look. This was dangerous. If I was found by the University Proctors out of College I could be sent down. Also, the only way in and out of College after hours was a well-known but rather circuitous route involving a couple of walls. I stripped off and donned an old rugger shirt and shorts and put plimsolls on. Charley tried to dissuade me because of my knee. I had discarded the bandage for that for some time and I was pretty confident it would be OK. I stuck a couple of small logs on the fire to keep the place warm and, against Charley's protestations, I scurried out and, for the first time, tried out the illegal path. All went well. The rain poured down and I had to be careful but the Proctors were snug in their kennels - they were colloquially know as Bulldogs and always went around in pairs. I found all Charley's clothing scattered. It was quite an armful and I don't suppose anyone in rugger kit had appeared with a top hat on as well before. What I couldn't find was his gold watch. I managed to get back unseen and laid out his wet clothes on the chairs by the fire and stripped off completely as I was saturated as well. I had to go into the bedroom to retrieve my towels and Charley was full of thanks for my efforts. We were both shivering. I said I'd kip down in my armchair, but Charley said we could warm each other up under the covers. I was too cold, and miserable for him, to argue the toss and slipped into bed. We clung to each other like the drowned rats we'd been. He whispered his thanks again in my ear and we clutched each other until our combined body heat relaxed us. We both fell asleep and were still well away when a discreet tap on my shoulder woke me. It was Jem. He had a tray and there were two mugs of steaming tea. Oh, Christ! Would we be in his litany of liaisons I'd heard recited? Me, a married man, child on the way, in bed with a fully-accredited member of the aristocracy! No Jem, it's not what it looks like! We hadn't sampled each others substantial weapons. Yes, substantial, as even in the cold state I noticed Charley matched my own length. Jem whispered. "He was attacked?" I nodded. "Where?" I explained, quietly and succinctly, the events as I knew them, as Charley slept on. "And you went and got his things?" he asked. I nodded again. I said his watch was missing. "You said there were four of them?" "So he said and he was certain they weren't gowns." [The division is town and gown.] Jem stood as I drank my tea. I said we'd wake Charley later. I then got out of bed. In the nude, no morning hardon, just my drooping shaft. "It's all right, Jem," I whispered, as I followed him into my study room where the fire was blazing up, "He hasn't lost his virginity! It's just that two bodies are better than one when you're cold and wet!" The lad snickered. "I know that, even when it's dry and warm!" He went over to Charley's clothes. He turned and looked at me and grinned his amiable grin. "I know he isn't," he said confidentially, "His brother had that when he was fourteen..." "Jem!" I said severely, "If you want more than one good smack carry on. What you know about Charley and his brother keep to yourself....." Curiosity got the better of me. "....Anyway how do you know?" The toad, hound, wretch, little bird, put a finger along the side of his nose. He giggled. Was I a trusted confidant? Were any of my secrets safe? Good, I hadn't got any..... Except what could be embroidered about today. I thought once again, never get on the wrong side of a Porter! "His brother Gussie came here to see him last year several times and they always shared his bed, drunk or sober, usually drunk." He giggled again. "Charley says Gussie never thinks before he says anything and I was in here and they were in there when Gussie asked him if he was getting it regular as he'd liked it so much as a boy. I heard Charley say he was only fourteen then and he'd had to do what Gussie wanted. They went quiet after that 'cause I think they realised I was still here." He wrinkled his nose. "Did get a quid note when Gussie went that time." "Didn't keep your mouth shut did it?" I said, "I think I'll tell Charley you've broken your silence......" Poor lad, he looked most chastened. "...But you and him?" he queried. I smiled and shook my head. "No," I said, "I like Charley very much. But, no!" He came over to me. "I'm very sorry," he said, "You always seem so close. We thought.... Maltravers and Pearson do most evenings...." I shook my head again. I grinned to myself. A new liaison not mentioned before. Maltravers was a big brawny boatie and Pearson had the biggest ears sticking out and a frightful lisp, and I'd heard the conjecture about boys with big ears and noses! And here we were, Charley and I, tarred with the same brush as a regular boatie and his paramour! And Jem had used the inclusive 'we'! "Jem!" I said sharply, "I suppose these are the things you and Sam discuss on your afternoon trysts. Before or after?" The poor lad blushed so deeply. His head dropped. He wasn't beaten though. He looked up again, still red. "Both!" he said. He looked me straight in the eyes. "Nobody could have a better friend than you," he said with feeling, "Not many would have done what you did last night. You could have damaged your knee again, or got caught. It's quite a drop, isn't it?" I knew he was referring to one particular wall. Getting back over wasn't too bad as some aspiring mountaineer had conveniently cut some inconspicuous toe and hand holds. I had chucked Charley's clothes over first and had managed the ascent easily. "I'd better be off. I should let him sleep a bit longer. I'll come back later, " he said, "I've got the others to get up and I think Pongo's got someone staying. There's a hankie on his handle." Oh God! Pongo Parkinson was one I'd heard about before. His rooms were on the next staircase so I didn't know him very well, but I knew his signal to Jem to be wary about entering was the renowned handkerchief. It was known to be removed by mean-minded others sometimes and I'd heard that on two occasions members of other Colleges, having shared his bed, were disturbed, in flagrante delicto, as it were, with Jem appearing quite unaware that Pongo's needs and theirs had been satisfied overnight. Faithful Jem. He'd be back. He came back with Sam who took away the damp evening clothes and said he'd get them cleaned. We woke Charley after Jem had got his day clothes from his room and he was all apologetic. I left Jem with him and I heard Jem cross-questioning him about the incident. Jem, although only sixteen and a college servant, was nothing if not forthright and was well in command. He had a satisfied smile on his face as he came through to me. "I think, Mr Thomson, sir," he said, very formally, "I think I can resolve any remaining problems." He came over to me, "Thanks for all you did last night. I'm very fond of him as well." He smiled. "And you, even if you are a married man...., .....Jacko!" he added mischievously. Two days later Jem woke me as usual. He had a broad grin on his face as he handed me my mug of tea with one hand and displayed a gold watch on its chain in the other. "Jem!" I said, astounded, "How? And, who?" He laughed. "There's two young gentlemen'll be wearing trusses no doubt for a while 'cause last time they were seen they were walking bent double and there's another two who have the biggest and brightest of black eyes as well as aches in other delicate places." He slipped the watch into his pocket. "I guessed who they were when Charley described them." He nodded. "My pals have been waiting for satisfaction for ages. That lot'll keep their distance now, no doubt." Charley was overjoyed at receiving his watch back. Jem told me, in confidence, of course, he'd been clutched and kissed on both cheeks and his lips most heartedly and offered a whole five pounds which he'd refused. I snidely asked 'which cheeks?' to which he grinned and said that was his secret! Toad! My next excursion was to the big parade. Unfortunately it was the weekend of the May Ball - held, of course, as things happen in Cambridge, in June! Two of Charley's older brothers, Augustus and Bertram, camped out in my rooms. Charley's later description of the young ladies, imported from all directions and of all shapes and sizes, was summed up as 'a right collection of tarts and floosies who danced with their legs crossed all night'. My parade experience was superb. I met up with my parents, Uncle Edward and Aunt Della and an exuberant Flea and watched, spell-bound, as our two bantam-cocks were rewarded for their efforts with a sword of honour each. Aunt Della looked so proud and it was pride for both as Sayed was almost a third son for her. Oh, my God! In the programme was Sayed's full title. And to think, I'd smacked his bum, tickled him unmercifully on several occasions and also threatened to put him in the dustbin as well. I wondered what other things he and Lachs had got up to in the past as they stood side by side receiving congratulations from all and sundry. Sayed looked at me with his smouldering dark brown eyes as I complimented him on his achievements. 'I won't ever forget you and your family' he said and smiled that wonderful smile of his. I shook hands with the royal duke who was overseeing the parade on behalf of His Majesty. He talked with Aunt Della and the boys for a long time as he had known Angus Cameron. Lachs had taken a commission in his father's old regiment, the Royal Scots Greys. This caused a bit of amusement as it was originally a mounted regiment on grey horses. Of course, Flea said it was good job they used tanks now as Lachs would have to have a Shetland pony, or practise on the old rocking-horse at Pin Mill House. It was the first time either brother had commented on the others' lack of inches other than that first occasion when I was told what I wasn't to call Lachs! Sayed said he would willingly find a camel for him. I heard Flea whisper 'ship of the desert' and Sayed pursed his lips. I think Flea would be getting a little come back of a princely nature in due course. As I shook Lachs' hand and said how proud I was to have him as my cousin and blood-brother he smiled and showed me that he was holding in his other hand that Lieutenant's pip I had given him as a sign of our love and devotion. So term ended, I handed in my last essays and went back to Kerslake. Kats and I moved into the old house, Pa and Ma now in London, and remained there until the last week of August. Kats was now pretty huge and I enjoyed doing things in the house, clearing unwanted things into the loft, cooking and cleaning with Mrs Pritchard's help. When Ma had gone to see Mr Blane, her publisher, with her latest effort he was in a quandary. One of his translators had died suddenly and there was a book to be finished from French into English. I was entrusted with it and followed the style as far as possible of the previous translator. Mr Blane was very pleased so that was the start of a secondary and quite lucrative career for me. The last thing I did before we moved out to go and stay with Kats' parents was to retrieve my various treasures from my hidey-hole. There was a rather decayed handkerchief, still stained but precious and, of course, Mike's drawing of me. I had finished the translation the night before and was just reading through my final draft in the morning when Kats called out something was happening. The ambulance arrived and at eight thirty that evening, Wednesday, September the Eighth, 1948, our son, Francis Peter Thomson, was born. Weight, seven and a half pounds. Mother and baby doing well. To be continued:....