Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2001 15:54:46 -0700 (PDT) From: Evan Bradley Subject: Chapter 21 of "Ambush" The following fictional story deals with sex among males. If you are offended by such material, are too young, or reside in an area where it is not allowed, depart. Though not observed in this story, care enough about yourself and humankind to practice safe sex. The author retains all rights. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the author's consent. EBradley33@Excite.com Chapter 21 Conquests and Surrenders My return to school on the morrow was all set. I'd informed Dr. Sorenson flat out this morning that I was returning to teaching tomorrow. He barely stifled a smile. "Actually, it's an achievement that I was able to keep you home this long. I knew you'd fight me. While it's a moot point, I agree that you can return to teaching, but we need to set some ground rules." He explained how my stamina would diminish before noon the first week. Then he explained some steps I could take to rebuild it through the day. I was to get no less than eight hours sleep every day. He even recommended that I scale back assignments that required a lot of grading, and other activities at school, to allow myself to ease back into my usual regimen of professional duties. I laughed: "You'll be a hero to my students." He chuckled. "Great," he observed. "The ones I met were good kids. It's refreshing these days to see such a group bent on doing something good and necessary for someone. You're lucky, Evan." "Yes, I have been celebrating that recently. These kids constitute one of those Golden Classes that come along only every eight or ten years. Even while a teacher is enjoying them, he knows their kind won't show up again for a good long while. Years later one thinks back on them, wishing to be back in contact. It rarely happens." Dr. Sorenson told me to keep weekends free to rest up for the coming week. He gave me lighter pain pills for when I needed them - and he assured me I would need them that first week. I still had to use the crutches. And I was not releasing myself from follow-up appointments, he warned with vinegar! I wasn't arguing; I had gained what I wanted. On the drive home, I realized that the weekend had been crowded out of my consciousness by the approach of my appointment with Dr. Sorenson and my determination to return to the classroom. Not that there was much to recall after that climactic night of Jeremy's party. The party had been wonderful, capped by sexy, inscrutable Cody and his late night ambush. I was still mystified about what prompted it. "Well, Evan, perhaps he just wanted you," that interior voice offered as an explanation. "Yeah, right" was my reply. Aloof, cold Cody - needing anyone? I'd never met another person so in command of himself, so self-sufficient. I'd not seen much of Jeremy or Kenny after Friday night. There was another party Saturday night to which they had been invited. I was fuzzy about the details, mostly because Jeremy and Kenny were hardly around after the party at our home. I never heard Jeremy return in the wee hours of Sunday. Since he had to work at the mega-discount store, he rushed off after a quick shower that morning, not returning until late that night. He retreated to the study to complete homework on my computer. In short, the weekend was a bit of a comedown. Once home from my check-up, I had a bite of lunch and then napped. I was awakened by the sound of a car pulling up in front of the house. Just as I reached the front door, it shot open and Troy barged into the living room. Without any preamble, or even looking at me, he informed me, "Jeremy said we could use his room to talk," as he strode down the hall. Cody followed him through the door and down the hall without ever looking at me, closing the bedroom door behind them. I couldn't have been more startled. Why was Troy behaving so strangely? I had encouraged Cody to talk to Troy, but Troy's behavior made me wonder if I had set Cody up for trouble. I hoped not. Was Troy angry because Cody told him we had had sex? Jealous? Of which one of us? Had to be Cody. Was Troy angry with me? He certainly seemed so. Ill-at-ease, I didn't know what to do. I heard Troy's muted voice immediately. Then Cody's almost terse replies - nothing distinct, just voices. I went to the sunroom to read my mystery, but when I had read the same paragraph five times without remembering what I had read, I closed the book. A cup of tea seemed a good idea. In the kitchen, I paused. The voices had stopped. Nothing. Then I heard a moan. Nothing. Then Cody gasping out Troy's name. I panicked. I had to get out of there. I crutched rapidly to my bedroom to grab a jacket, nearly falling in the hall in my haste. Great! I'd feel stupid if I injured myself on the eve of my return to the classroom. But I couldn't help it. Making certain I had my billfold, I moved out the door, closing it quietly behind me. I backed my car out of the drive and shot down the street. Where was I going? I felt confused. I could never do anything aimlessly. Even when I took a walk, I had to have my route mapped out in my head before starting. Yet here I was speeding away from my neighborhood with no destination in mind. "Calm down, boy," that interior voice counseled. I slowed my pace, deciding to go to the mall to purchase the sport coat I had seen there when we shopped for Jeremy's olive wool suit. Thanksgiving wasn't that far away. I always had my Christmas shopping completed by then, so I would employ myself in that useful activity now. I would have at least one Christmas gift purchased for Jeremy. I parked the car and crutched to the mall. When I reached the department store where we had purchased Jeremy's clothes, I headed for the suits section. I quickly found the sport coat, tan with a muted dark green/cream windowpane plaid in the background - and they had it in his size. Just then the young clerk who had hit it off with Susan, and helped us complete our shopping, came over. "Hello, Mr. Halsey. How are Jeremy, Troy and Susan?" "You remember us after all this time?" She laughed charmingly: "How could I forget a commission like the one I earned from your purchases?" "Oh." "But I wouldn't forget any of you. You seemed so close. You all left me longing to have such friends. My name is Marcy Randall," she explained as she held out her hand in greeting. "It's a pleasure to know your name, Marcy," I stated as I shook her hand. "I feel that I already know you. You made a positive impression on us too. We haven't had that much fun in a long time; you made that possible." "Thank you, Mr. Halsey. What may I help you with?" "Please call me Evan." She smiled, shaking her head in the affirmative. "When I was here before, I saw this sport coat, which I thought would make a good match with Jeremy's olive suit trousers. A Christmas present," I explained brightly. "You put me to shame. I haven't thought about my Christmas shopping. But this sport coat will go perfectly with Jeremy's slacks. You have a good eye for color." "Thank you. Would you please help me pick out a dress shirt, a couple of ties and some socks?" Marcy agreed. We had fun picking out a dark green dress shirt, a cream tie and a muted gold paisley tie featuring tan and dark green in the design. I thought Jeremy would appreciate the different look. Marcy and I chatted up a storm while we were picking the gifts. She suggested a box of handkerchiefs and Armani's "Acqua di Gio" cologne as stocking gifts. After I paid for the purchases, secured the appropriate gift boxes, and took my leave, I ferried the packages to the car - not an easy task. I couldn't go home yet, so I returned to the mall, visiting a couple of bookstores, making my way carefully through the mysteries section. Actually, I was just killing time. I hated it. I needed purpose. I shopped the windows of the entire mall. I realized that this was not the wisest use of my energy. Since I was returning to school tomorrow, I should be conserving my energies, but I couldn't go home yet. What to do. . . What to do? Of course! Dinner at Francini's Italian Restaurant! Once there, a hostess I didn't know seated me in an out-of-the-way table, which suited me fine. I was about half-way through dinner when Angela Walker rounded the corner. "Mr. Halsey! I didn't know you were here." She came over and hugged me from behind. "Tony and I had a great time at Jeremy's party. I'd never seen your home. When are you having your next party? Are Tony and I on the guest list?" We both laughed as Angela's questions tumbled out. "I enjoyed myself too, but I was only a guest like you. Ask Jeremy about the next party. I know he enjoyed himself immensely. He was also pleased that you and Tony could attend. He obviously considers you friends." "He and Kenny are our friends too. Kenny told me it was the first party Jeremy had ever hosted. We could tell that Jeremy was enjoying himself. And after the party we sat around in the sunroom talking for the longest time. I think all of us drew a little closer. Life has really turned around for Jeremy. We couldn't be happier." "I guess something similar could be said of you and Tony," I replied. She smiled. "I'm so happy, Mr. Halsey. I've even started focusing on my studies more." She blushed a bit. "So's Tony. We have plans. We know a good education is central to them." "Oh? Is it too early or personal to divulge your plans?" "No. We're going to college together. State U. We'll both major in business. Then we hope to come back here and open up a satellite Francini's Italian Restaurant. We've already discussed it with Poppa and Momma Francini. It will be a family venture." "Wonderful. Nothing gives a person more purpose than a long-term goal. And Tony and you make a great couple." Just then Tony walked by carrying a tray with an order on it. He did a double-take when he saw us visiting. "Hey, Evan. Good to see you!" "Here," Angela said. "I'll take it. You say hello to Mr. Halsey, Tony. Which table?" "Eleven," he replied, smiling at her. When the hand-off was complete, Tony came over, put his hands under my arms, lifted me up, hugged me tightly, and kissed me on the cheek. Wow! Tony had never shown that much affection before. Very Italian. And he'd behave that way when he had his own restaurant. His good feelings must be spillover from the new developments in his life. "Evan, I'm always happy to see you here." He sat me back down and then pulled out a chair for himself. "I wish you weren't alone." I colored a bit, realizing that he was thinking of Tim's dumping me. "But you are welcome here anytime, alone or not. Think of Francini's as a place to get away." I was struck that his last statement accurately assessed that getting away was just what I was doing. "Angela and I loved Jeremy's party. We left feeling so high on life, our friends, ourselves, and each other. The after-party in the sunroom was great. I've never felt so close to my classmates before." "Yes, I believe I heard you and Jeremy mixing it up at one point." Tony laughed. "We engage in teasing bouts. Of course, we're only showing our good feelings for each other. We decided that sometime Jeremy and Kenny and Angela and I are going out." "Great, Tony. I am certain both Jeremy and Kenny were touched by your expressing an interest in sharing their company." "They're great guys - friends. Maybe other folks will take a hint. Oh! Troy and Jeremy want me to go out with the guys sometime - a men's night out. I was a little surprised. I never thought I was suitable for their group. I'm not a jock, and I'm close to my pop and mom. Troy and Susan and Angela and I plan to go out together too." "That's wonderful," I responded. "Sounds like some good times and vibes are in store for all of you - just in time for the autumn and holiday seasons. And I hear you and Angela have long-range plans." "Yeah," he beamed. "We're so happy, Evan. And you're going to see an improvement in my attitude and grades in class. I've got too many good reasons to coast anymore. I'm going to be a husband, a father someday, and a businessman. I can't delay preparing myself for those roles." I looked around in the air. "Gee, I thought I just heard Papa Francini talking. Spirits in the air!" He chuckled. "Yeah, Dad suddenly makes a lot of sense. I guess being with Angela has helped me grow up a little . . . and listening to you." "Yeah, right," I said skeptically, but smiling anyway. "No, Evan, I listened. I may not have always acted. But I heard. Why do you think I insisted on coming to the hospital with the others to see you? I begged off work here just to do that. You're important to me. I wanted you to know that, to be included in your life. It felt great to be with all the kids. I even wanted to push your wheelchair when you left the hospital, but that rat Troy beat me to it. We all feel kind of like a family now. And you know what a family man I am." We laughed. Tony was called away by another waitress needing assistance. By the time I paid for the check, I knew Troy and Cody would have left. The interlude with Tony and Angela had buoyed my spirits a bit. I could face the empty house and any fallout from Troy and Cody now. * * * Sure enough - Troy's car was gone from in front of the house. I let myself in, making a couple of trips to lug Jeremy's Christmas gifts into my room and stash them in one of my closets. Then I checked Jeremy's room. The sheets on his bed were balled up on the floor. I thought I should launder them, so I pushed them under an arm and moved to the laundry room. As I was unballing them to place them in the washer, I discovered big cum stains on the top and bottom sheets. My breath caught noisily in my throat, followed by tightness around my heart. Now why was I feeling like that? Troy and Cody had climaxed more than once to leave that many stains. The smell turned me on, but I hated myself. It was like peeking in on them during their lovemaking. Why was I downcast? I didn't feel that way about Troy's making love to Susan. So what was going on now? I should be celebrating, for this discovery assured that Troy and Cody were tight again, that Cody had taken steps to move beyond the issue - his homosexuality or bisexuality - that had been bothering him regarding Troy. Why couldn't I be happy about that? In the kitchen, I poured a glass of wine. Sitting at the table, I tried to understand my feelings. Well, it wasn't that I was unhappy about Troy and Cody, but because of their weird behavior upon arriving, I had felt rejected. Or was it something deeper? "Oh, come on, Evan. You were jealous!" that inner voice charged. If so, of which one? "Both," the voice said. "Oh yeah," I shot back. Pondering the possibility, I realized that the voice was correct. My reaction owed to being dumped, making my inner feelings those of desperation. I was tired of feeling rejection. It was suddenly clear: my reaction to Troy and Cody was tied to Tim. In making that connection, my mind had performed, as my computer announces, "an illegal action"; like my computer, I shut that program down immediately. I had vowed that the Tim episode was over. I wasn't going there anymore. I finished my glass of wine and moved into the study to the computer. I went to the state education association's Website, listing vacancies in teaching positions. After scrolling through the list, I found five that, at first blush, appeared to be promising. Two were in the state capital. How ironic if I ended up in a job there. I made a list of the five openings and printed it out, putting it in my desk drawer for later study. I pulled up my resume to see how outdated it was. I hadn't added to it since I took my present position. I obviously had work to do on it in the near future if I was going to move into a new job. I crutched to Jeremy's bedroom, pulling out some clean sheets on the way. Moving around on my knees, I put the sheets on his bed, thinking about my return to school. Jeremy and I had already determined that he would have to drive his car after Monday because he would leave school before I would, and he wouldn't return home until after 9 p.m. I retired, a little surprised that I wasn't more "up" for the return to school. I had been anticipating the day, but I couldn't fool myself that I was all that excited to return to school. Now what was going on with that? * * * The next morning I arose, showered, and dressed for school. I downed a quick breakfast, dumped an apple, a can of V-8 juice, and the pain pills in my lunch bag along with small cans of orange juice for a pick-me-up (Dr. Sorenson's suggestion) during the day. Just then Jeremy shot into the kitchen. Neither of us said anything initially. I didn't know why. "Everything okay with you and Kenny?" "Yeah. Why do you ask?" "No reason. Well, I have to head off to school. Try to put myself back into things." I started to comment that I was going to need a couple of days to revise my lesson plans to adjust for my absence. Then it occurred to me that that would probably make Jeremy feel bad about the accident. Maybe I should just get out of there. So with a short farewell, I left. As I drove into the north parking lot at school, a flood of unwelcome memories about the accident came back. I was happy to see the lot nearly empty. I had hoped to make it to my classroom and stay there the rest of the day, just ease back in - no big fuss. I discovered that I wasn't conditioned to lug my attache and lunch bag in any coordinated manner. I heard a car pull in behind me, but I didn't look. A car door slammed. I heard someone walking rapidly up behind me just as my attache strap slid off my shoulder and onto the ground. I started to cut loose with some swearing but remembered where I was. Suddenly a hand with long, elegant fingers reached down and grabbed the attache. "Here, let me help you." I looked up. Cody! Damn! I didn't want to talk to him. "Evan, what's wrong with you?" I heard that interior voice ask. I truly didn't know. "No. I can handle it," I said, holding out my hand for it. He pushed my hand away and then placed his hand on my ass and pushed me forward, squeezing my cheek as he did so. "Come on," he said. We moved off to the school in one of Cody's famous silences. As we neared the door, he asked, "Why aren't you saying anything? You're usually talking all the time." I stopped, reaching for my attache. "You have things to do. Don't let me keep you from them." He snorted. "There you go again. Running away." "There you go again, being unjustifiably rude." He was startled to hear his words shooting right back at him. "Why did you come to my bedroom the night of Jeremy's party. What did you think you were doing?" "You have complaints? You seemed to enjoy yourself." "I didn't say I had complaints. I want to know why you did that." "It was my first time. I think I did okay." "What do you mean, 'first time?'" "My first time with a man." I just stood and stared. "What?" he asked. "We had sex." "It wasn't sex. It was just a warm-up for Troy." "I see . . . . You're jealous." "I don't know what I am. I'm confused. You guys barge into my home. Don't even really acknowledge me. Act like you're angry with me. Shut yourselves away. Cum up the sheets for me to take care of like I'm a servant in a bordello." He laughed. I saw red. I jerked my attache out of his hand, trying to work the strap over my head. Tears were filling my eyes. Why? I tried to keep him from seeing them, but a couple tracked down my cheeks. A sob escaped my throat. Damn! What was going on? This behavior wasn't cool. "Evan, what's wrong with you?" Cody asked with concern. I turned and crutched away. I had the devil's own time getting up the steps to the second floor. All of my lack of coordination seemed to flood out in the process. I was glad that Cody had disappeared. I made it to my classroom without encountering anyone else. I entered the room and shut the door. I crutched over to my desk, dropped my stuff, and put my head on my desk. I just tried to allow my churning emotions to quiet. I had to get a hold of myself. "You're not going to solve right now what you are feeling this morning," the interior voice counseled. "Just get a hold of yourself. You'll figure this out eventually." I just rested, trying to put out of my mind anything that would lead me where I didn't want to go. The door opened and students entered: Troy and Susan, Rosalie, LaKeisha, Greg. I arose, not looking at them, removing my jacket. LaKeisha and Rosalie came up and hugged me. LeKeisha spotted my red eyes. "Oh, Mr. Halsey, are you okay? Are you in pain?" Kenny and Jeremy entered the room, overhearing LaKeisha, then staring at me. I shook my head yes and then no. More students entered the room, taking their seats. I crutched to the restroom, splashing some water in my face. As I returned to my classroom, Kathleen Burge was waiting by her door for her last students to enter the classroom. "Evan, welcome back." "Thanks, Kathleen. Say, I'm updating my resume. May I list you as a reference?" Kathleen looked startled. "Tell me you aren't thinking about leaving." "Well, I haven't looked at my resume in a while. I thought it was time for an update. Maybe think about a different future. Maybe a different career." She paused for a moment, studying me. "Of course, I'll serve as a reference for you. But I hope you don't leave. I know it's been tough lately, Evan. Life somewhere else has to look simpler in the face of all you have been through. But looks can be deceiving. And what I just heard sounds so radical for you. Don't rush off until you've really considered your options." "Thanks for allowing me to list you on my resume. And I shall think carefully about the future." As I entered my now full classroom, I realized that my students near the door had heard the exchange between Kathleen and me. Troy was staring at me. So was Wendy Fielding, who had heard the conversation in the hall. Rosalie, too, had a puzzled look on her face. I started taking roll. Byron Okata raised his hand. "Byron?" "We're glad you're back, Mr. Halsey." How unusual. Byron never spoke up. "Thank you, Byron. I especially appreciate it that such a greeting came from you. I don't hear from you that often. It's good to be back among all of you. I haven't cracked a whip in too long a time." A murmur of laughter. "What happened to you?" Byron asked. The room immediately grew quiet. I was careful not to look anywhere near Jeremy. I didn't want to finger him. I sighed. "You're looking at the klutz of my family, Byron. Clumsiness personified. I was rushing to get home and stumbled when I started down the stairs. Not a good place to stumble, huh?" Polite laughter. "I hope you won't do it again," piped up Randy Thompson. "No, I've had all that kind of adventure I want," I replied. Subdued laughter. "Hey, Mr. Halsey," Randy continued, "did you hear that Mr. Minor is leaving? He's going to a big job in the state capital. He's leaving at the beginning of the Christmas break." Whatever emotional capital I had marshaled since arriving at school drained away. Tim didn't warn me. He could have called. After all, I'd called him when Jeremy moved in because I didn't want him to hear it on the grapevine - it would have shown disrespect for Tim. He didn't care that I would find out about his leaving this way. I'll bet Alan heard about it immediately. "Come on, Evan," that inner voice consoled. "You knew Tim's departure was likely. You can't be that surprised. Don't make a big deal out of it. You knew it was over with you and Tim. You knew Alan replaced you." A flood of images was filling my mental field, all of them featuring Tim and me. I felt acutely his gestures of caring, of helping me - shaving me in the hospital, giving me a terrific blow job, fixing a meal for us in my home, claiming me before Jeremy. Either he or I had really fooled me. "Mr. Halsey? . . . . Mr. Halsey?" I snapped to, looking up. "Yes, Rosalie?" "Are you okay? You look pale." "Of course I'm okay. Why would you ask?" Rosalie looked at other students around her, then back at me. "You've just been standing there for a couple of minutes." I looked at Susan, her face full of concern. "I have? . . . Oh, I'm taking some new pain medication. It sort of sends me on a trip." "If you passed them around," Tony said, "we could have a swinging party here." Robust laughter followed. I looked at him. His warm eyes told me he had intended to move us beyond an awkward moment. I owed him. "Well, enough dilly-dallying. Let's get down to work." Groans. I started us on our lesson. At various points I noted Jeremy looking at me with wrinkled brows. Susan still looked concerned. Troy just looked. No smile. No dimples. When I dismissed class, Paul and Beth came to my desk, and we chatted a bit about Jeremy's party and about my return to school. I saw Troy and Susan standing by the door for a while with Jeremy and Kenny, but when Paul and Beth remained, those four moved out the door. By noon I was wasted. Dr. Sorenson had been correct. I shouldn't have walked all that distance in the mall yesterday afternoon. The standing, climbing stairs and the like, had set my leg and ribs hurting. I had a headache. Shutting my door, I took a pain pill and ate my lunch. Then I put my head on the desk. I promptly fell asleep, not awakening until I felt a hand shaking my shoulder. I looked up groggily. Melanie Simpson! She wasn't even a student of mine. Why would she be in my classroom? "Are you okay, Mr. Halsey?" "Hello, Melanie. Just a little tired. My first day back at school and all. Thought I'd close my eyes for a bit after lunch. What may I do for you?" "Could we talk a little?" "Surely. What would you like to talk about?" She sat down at a desk. "Well . . . hm-m-m-m-m . . . I wondered if . . . Is Jeremy . . . ." "Melanie, most of the time in life," I swiped the back of my hand across my forehead as though it could wipe away sleepiness, "if you are having trouble saying something, and no negative attitude lies behind it, it's best just to spit it out. It'll be okay. Straight up and out now, what is it?" She gulped. "Is Jeremy interested in me or Kenny?" "Jeremy and Kenny are best friends. As for his interest in you or Kenny, I think you need to ask Jeremy. While we live in the same house, we don't necessarily share what we are feeling with each other. Besides, with Jeremy's job and school, I can go for some time without ever really visiting with him." "I thought he would invite me to his party, but he didn't." I saw tears glinting in her eyes. "Then I heard that he and Kenny were sort of together that evening. " "Has Jeremy said anything that led you to believe that he wanted a dating relationship with you?" "No." "Since you two met on a blind date, he may be thinking that you are just casual friends." She sighed as the tears started to fall. I reached into a desk drawer for a tissue, which I handed to her. She promptly dabbed at the tears. "That's all I seem to be with guys, a casual friend. I'd like to meet a guy who would want to get to know me better, date me - you know, that kind of thing." "You are good friends with Susan. Have you discussed this with her?" She looked down at the floor. "Ever since we were at your home, things have been a little off between Susan and me. I'd be afraid to ask her anything now." "A little off? 'Off' like how?" "Everything seemed okay until I talked about Mr. Minor and Alan Frazier - you were there - you know, in your sunroom. Then it changed. Even you seemed to behave differently after that. You suddenly disappeared, and everyone decided we needed to leave. It was like we rushed out. On the way home, I asked if I'd done anything wrong, but Susan said no. Very little was said in the car after that." "To what do you attribute all that quiet?" "Maybe they thought I was making fun of Mr. Minor and Alan. I wasn't. I realize that the way I told about them made me seem like a giggly schoolgirl in possession of some hot gossip. I'm not down on gays or anything. But how does one say that when it seems everyone has already made up their mind about you?" "You need to talk to Susan. Tell her what you just told me. Use those very words. You'll be back on track in no time." I smiled at her. "Back on track with Jeremy?" "Well, only Jeremy can tell you that. But I'm wondering if you've found the right guy yet. What kind of a guy do you want for this relationship?" She smiled demurely. "I really like jocks. Someone like Cody Saxon, for instance." Melanie aimed high; one had to give her that. "Again, you are connected with the perfect networker - Susan. She can help you if you will allow it. Would you do me a favor?" I glanced at my wristwatch. "Of course." "Go find Susan now. You have enough time left in the lunch period. Tell her exactly what you told me. No apologies. No hemming and hawing around. I think Susan will welcome it. Life will suddenly improve for you." Her look brightened. A smile started to form. "Okay. I'll do that." "Oh, by the way, I'll be waiting to hear the other shoe drop. Let me know in the next couple of weeks how all of this turns out for you. Okay?" "Okay." She smiled, arose, went to the door, paused, and waved as she walked through and closed the door behind her. I cracked a can of orange juice open and downed it. My students began arriving for my first afternoon class. As the afternoon wore on, I seemed to run down more and more with each class. Finally, I just wanted to hear the last bell. When it rang and my students shot out the door, I was bushed. I put my head down on my desk. I needed to recharge enough to get my stuff and me down the stairs and out to the car. Oh, man - the stairs. I would have to go down them by myself. I knew when I reached home I'd fall into bed in a deep sleep. Forget dinner. I don't know how long I remained resting. I may even have dozed. I felt a hand grip my shoulder. "Evan, time to go home. I'll help you to your car." I raised my head groggily and opened my eyes. I looked up slowly. Jim Belton, the janitor for our building, stood there with his hand still on my shoulder, gently squeezing it. I looked up at his tall body, muscled shoulders, developed biceps, nice, ordinary face with his honey hair and mustache, sturdy waist. "Oh, Jim, I can't impose like that after you've worked all day." "It's not imposing if I offer. Come on, get your stuff together," he ordered gruffly. I arose slowly. "There's no point in taking anything home. I'll fall asleep as soon as I get there." Jim grabbed my attache and lunch bag. "Then let's get you to your car." I arose, grabbed my crutches, and we were off. He kept pace with me down the hall, but about ten feet from the stairs, I stopped - staring at them, remembering. Jim shifted my lunch bag to his other hand and put his free hand in the small of my back. "It's okay, Evan. I won't let you fall. I'd pick you up and carry you down, but that wouldn't help you prepare for tomorrow when you reach these stairs. Once you prove that you can go down them, you'll have tamed your fears." I looked up into his blue eyes, seeing his strength and sense reflected there. I just shook my head yes and moved up to the top step. Leaving a crutch under my left arm to protect that injured leg, I turned my other crutch the long way so that I could grasp the rail as I descended. It was slow, awkward going, but Jim stayed right beside me all the way. I was flagging by the time we reached the bottom. He put a hand on my shoulder. "Rest a minute. We aren't running a marathon here." While we stood like that, he gently massaged my shoulder. I glowed in his caring, his concern. Jim had always been so taciturn and humorless. This was a new side to him. Shortly, he held the door open while we moved out to the parking lot. He was going to make certain I was all tucked in the car. As we walked along, Jim began talking: "You know, people don't see janitors, so janitors see and hear most everything. We hear people telling all kinds of things because they think we aren't there." "I apologize if I'm guilty of that," I murmured. Jim continued, ignoring my apology, "People who stay behind always think the person leaving has it best. They know the faults, strains and pains of the old place. They don't see all the challenges that a person starting in a new place has." We both knew he was referring to the news about Tim's leaving for the new job. How did he know I cared? Must have been listening to someone. "So who's talking about me, Jim?" "Oh, it's nothing bad, Evan. It's not going anywhere. Some of your students love you. They worry about you. They think you are hurting about Tim Minor's leaving. They know he did you a bad turn by not telling you first about taking a new job." We reached the car. "Can you make it home okay? I can follow you if you aren't certain." I sat down, pulling my crutches in. He dropped my attache and lunch bag in the back seat. "Thank you for the offer, Jim, but I can make it." I looked him straight in the eyes. "You'll never know how much I appreciate your assistance and wise words this afternoon. I'll see you tomorrow." He waved me off. I drove slowly home and parked in the drive. I took only my lunch bag with me as I moved to the house, unlocked the door, entered, closed it, and went immediately to my room, where I dropped the lunch bag and my jacket on the carpet, collapsing on the bed, falling immediately to sleep. * * * I was awakened by hands rolling me over, removing my shoes, unbuckling my belt, removing my socks, unbuttoning my shirt. At first, it seemed that my clothes wanted to fly off. There were two of them, one taller. He reached over, turning on the lamp on the nightstand. "Troy. Cody. What are you doing here?" "We came to see if you are okay." I looked at Troy. "Why are you mad at me?" "I'm not mad at you, Evan." "Why did you behave the way you did yesterday? Acting like I wasn't even here. Like I didn't count for anything." "I apologize. I was upset with Cody. We needed to talk. I knew we could talk in Jeremy's room without any interruption. Please don't be mad at Jeremy. He was just trying to help a couple of friends." "What are you two doing anyway?" I asked in confusion as the clothes continued to come off. "We're getting you out of your clothes. I'm going to the kitchen to fix some soup for us. We're going to see that you eat. Then we'll bed you down." My eyebrows arched. Was that reference to bedding me just a figure of speech? "I'm not hungry." "If you don't eat, you won't be up for school tomorrow. It'll be downhill the rest of the week for you. So you are going to eat." Cody was neatly folding my clothes. Troy asked, "Cody, can you finish with Evan while I start the soup." "Yeah, if he'll let me." Cody snickered. "He will," Troy said, looking at me with that same message in his eyes. He left for the kitchen. He was certainly sounding like a big brother. I eyed Cody warily. "What was wrong with you today, Evan?" he asked. "Were you trying to hurt my feelings?" "Hurt YOUR feelings?" I echoed incredulously. "First, you have no feelings for anyone to hurt. Second, you hurt my feelings, telling me I babble all the time. Not telling me why you came in here the night of Jeremy's party." My briefs were the only clothing left on me. Cody started pulling those down. "What are you doing? I need to wear something." "I'll get your bathrobe. Right now I want to see your cock, the one I sucked on, the one that delivered your load to me, my first taste of man cum. I'm hooked on it." My face registered my disbelief. Cody reached into my closet, pulling out my bathrobe. He walked over to the bed, putting an arm around me and lifting me up while supporting me. He helped me into the bathrobe. When he had tied the belt, he leaned in and kissed me slowly, warmly. Then he picked me up in his arms and carried me to the kitchen. Tim and Troy had carried me this way. Now Cody. I loved it, for I felt protected. Troy and Cody brought the soup to the table and poured us Cokes. We began to eat. I thought for a bit. Then I asked Troy, "Why were you mad at Cody?" "For jumping you when you were asleep." I looked at Cody. "It's okay. He didn't hurt me. He was nice, gentle, loving." I turned to Cody. "I don't like this question, but I need to know. Are you bi or gay or what?" "'Or what'," Cody answered. Troy looked at him with exasperation. "I don't like labels, especially when other people are applying them to me," Cody explained. "I'm asking only to determine what you expect from me." "I'll let you know what that is," he observed coolly. Troy explained, "Cody told me yesterday for the first time that he wanted man sex. That's why we came here. On the way over, he told me about the night of Jeremy's party. I thought he was just looking for a guy to lay, so I was angry that he used you. Then he told me that he's not experienced. I've always been attracted to Cody, I guess. I have fantasies about his being my younger brother even though we are the same age. And he's been attracted to me as he might be to a bigger brother. He was worried that I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him if I knew his feelings about men. As you know, I used to be hard on guys who were that way. When we got in Jeremy's room, we just got hot over each other. We got each other off a couple of times. Then he told me he wanted you." My brow wrinkled as though I were having a hard time of believing any of this. "I find it hard to believe that you are interested in me, Cody. Why are we always in each other's face?" "Because we challenge each other's behavior. We may not be proud of that behavior, but it runs deep into who we are. I rely on the silent treatment. Maybe I'm sometimes a little disrespectful because I want people to prove themselves to me. Then I'll know how I want to relate to them. You are always spouting out advice whether people want it or not . . ." "Cody!" Troy broke in. ". . . because you've got this urge to help, to see people better off. No one else challenges us this way." Cody shot a look back at Troy that chastened him for not trusting him enough. I was silent. They waited. "What an astute observation. You do annoy me, Cody, and I find you in my head more than I want. Still, I like you a lot, but the feeling isn't mutual." "Wrong! I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to love you." "Why does it hurt then?" "Because we're getting to the real Cody and the real Evan. Whenever anyone gets that close, you run away." "I do not." "Yes, you do. Troy and I came out of Jeremy's bedroom to include you with us. We wanted you. You would have made us complete. But you had run away." I looked at Troy for confirmation. He shook his head affirmatively. "We did, Evan. We wanted you then; we want you now." I just looked from Troy to Cody and back to Troy. "If I could believe you for one second, I know I'd be among the happiest men alive. But if I were wrong, it would destroy me. I'm not made of steel. To be honest, I'm feeling low on all of those buffering abilities now." "Then let us show you that you can trust us," Cody said with vigor. I was silent, caught up in conflicting feelings. "Are you ever going to get it, Evan?" Troy asked with some exasperation. I sat there, looking alternately at each one, at a loss for words. Cody exclaimed, "I just figured it out! Evan is hung up on good looks. He thinks good-looking guys couldn't want him." Troy looked from Cody to me, understanding dawning in his eyes. Then he looked at Cody. "Yeah, he thinks we only want other good-looking guys," shot back Troy. "Believes we're shallow!" chimed in Cody. "Superficial," added Troy. "Cut it out," I interjected crabbily. Troy put his hand over mine. "Admit it, Evan. It's what you believe, isn't it?" I just stared at him. "Isn't it? Answer me," he spoke in a tone that would accept nothing less than an answer. "Yes." "Do you know how shallow that is?" asked Cody? "Do you know how superficial that is?" asked Troy. I couldn't help chuckling at the switchback routine. "I'm just talking about what I have observed." "Bull," said Troy vehemently. "I've seduced you. Fucked you. Made love to you." I looked nervously at Cody, who revealed no surprise at what Troy had admitted. "He knows," Troy said. "We've talked about it. In fact, that's one of the reasons we're here tonight." My eyes grew big. Troy turned to look at Cody. "Your cue, Guy." "Evan, I want you," Cody said quietly. I looked at Troy, then back at Cody. "I said I want you," Cody said louder. I cocked my head. This wasn't making sense. "What?" "I want you!" Cody shouted, launching himself out of his chair at me. His arms flew around my neck as my chair catapulted backwards with me going, "Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h," ever more loudly. The chair landed on the floor with a thump and a groan from me. Then Cody's mouth latched onto mine in a passionate kiss. My arms slowly closed around Cody. What was going on? Cool Cody going molten? Cody broke the kiss as he pulled open my bathrobe, beginning to kiss and bite his way down my neck, ears, shoulders, and pecs. Troy was sitting in his chair, eating his soup, smiling, dimples popping out everywhere. "Help," I said weakly. A loud belly laugh shot out of his mouth. One seldom heard belly laughs from Troy. Was this another one of those weird dreams? "Kiss me, damn it," Cody demanded, latching onto my mouth again. I let myself melt into the kiss, running my hands over his body. I could feel the mound in his crotch pushing into my lower stomach. He began to push it against me in circular motions. I pushed back, adding more heat to the kiss. He pushed my hands over my head, his hands gripping my wrists tightly. He broke the kiss. "That's more like it, Evan." Troy finished his soup. Arose. Came over to us and pulled Cody's tennis shoes off followed by his athletic socks. Cody kept up his licking and kissing and biting. Troy reached under Cody, unfastening his belt, unbuttoning his jeans, sliding down the zipper, and pulling his jeans off. He jockeys started to come down with the jeans. Troy pulled Cody's briefs off too. "Take your prey to the bedroom, Predator. I'll clean up the kitchen and come in and join you." His eyes shining, Cody arose, scooping me into his arms and carrying me into the bedroom. He dropped me on the bed, pulling off my bathrobe and his sweatshirt. Then he dived onto me, eliciting an "Ommmmmph!" from me. He attacked my cock, licking and chewing on it. Oddly, the chewing felt hot, for he wasn't trying to hurt me. He moved to my balls. I was moaning and groaning and gasping loudly. Next he nipped his way up my inner thighs, then pushed my legs back and dived into my trench. He was licking and chewing like a starved man, then sucking the lips of my pucker, then plunging his tongue in me. He started moaning. Just then Troy came in the bedroom, pulling off his sweatshirt and removing his jeans. He was watching us with interest. He pulled of his Nikes and socks and pulled down his briefs. His seven-and-a-half inch cock stood out hard. He walked around the bed to the nightstand for the lube. He came around and sat on the bed, putting a hand on Cody. "Kiss him, man, while I lube him for you." Cody moved up to my mouth, his kiss tender, loving sweet. Meanwhile, Troy had two fingers in me, loosening me up, hitting my prostate occasionally. He took another dollop of lube and smoothed it over Cody's cock. "Okay, Little Brother," Troy whispered. "He's all ready. Claim that sweet ass." Cody smiled devilishly, looking deeply into my eyes. "Do you want me, Evan, do you want my cock, my cum," he paused, "my love?" he whispered. I was mesmerized. "Yes." "How long have you wanted it?" "Ever since I broke up the fight between you and Jared." "I could see it in your eyes in the restroom. I saw it in the foyer at noon that day when we jocks walked by you. I really knew it at Jeremy's party when we talked on the patio." "But you wanted me too." "At first, I didn't want to want you. That's why I was pitching a little more attitude than usual at you. But my big bro here helped me understand how I could have him, have you, and not lose anything that makes me a man." Troy had been caressing our bodies with his hands. He and Cody leaned over and kissed. Then he leaned down and kissed me. It was so gentle, so loving. "I want to hold your cock, Little Bro, while you slide it in." Cody drew back on his knees, lifting my legs over his shoulders. Troy lay down on his stomach behind Cody, taking Cody's thick five-inch cock and moving it to my hole. Cody began pushing his hard cock into me. When the small head popped in, Cody leaned down and bit my left nipple. He had to push harder to introduce the thick barrel of his cock, which caused a burning sensation since he was stretching me. When he saw me wince, he slowed down, whispering, "Take me, Evan. You want me. Let the special chemistry between us flow." When Troy saw the thick part of Cody's cock enter me, he reached around and gently caressed my balls. I heard a groan from Cody; then I heard a licking sound. Troy was licking Cody's pucker. Finally, I felt Cody's pubic hear tickling my ass. He paused, looking into my eyes. He began a slow pump. I watched a smile grow on his face, mirroring pleasure, then joy, then conquest. "Hey, Little Bro, how's our boyfriend's ass?" "Tight, hot, submissive." All of a sudden I clamped down on Cody's cock, starting a cranking motion. His eyes widened. "Oh yeah," I said, "who's in control now, you little pussy?" Troy laughed. A determined gleam sparked in Cody's eye. He started a series of sharp thrusts that set my prostate throbbing. It was like a duel, Cody using his cock to win, I using my ass muscles and hips to win. Troy watched us with rapt attention, a "Hot" issuing from his mouth. Cody and I were beginning to sweat from our exertions, neither one giving any quarter, not even me though my ribs and chest were telling me that I was pushing it. "Now . . . give me . . . what . . . I most . . . want, . . . Evan. Open up . . . to me. Make . . . yourself . . . vulnerable . . . to me." "You've . . . got it," I managed to get out, continuing to work him with my ass but not aggressively. I was going to help him to a mind-blowing orgasm. Troy's tongue must have penetrated into Cody, for his eyes grew big, and a moan started that grew louder. He was losing his battle to keep it going. A loud shout flew out of Cody's mouth at the same time his cock expanded and blew up my ass. Troy reached around and twisted my right nipple hard. Blobs of cum shot from my cock on Cody's chest. After we fired several more times, Cody collapsed on me, drawing a yelp from me because my ribs protested. He was so out of it that he didn't realize. We lay there while Troy gently ran his hands over our bodies. Cody raised his head and kissed me. Then he slowly rose to his knees as he withdrew from me. He turned and kissed Troy. "How was it, Little Bro?" Troy asked. "I've never had a cum like it. Cody smiled back. "Your turn, Big Bro." They looked at me. "Evan, I've never had a chance for sloppy seconds with a guy, so I'd especially like to try it now while my little bro's cum is still hot in you. But I don't want to fuck you if you aren't up to it." I studied his face, his eyes. We both were seeing our history together, our link through Susan, our past conflicts, o our acceptance and even our caring and love for each other. "I'd like that too, Troy." Troy smiled. "That's our boyfriend! Little Bro's cock is thicker than mine, so this should be easy for you. I won't even lube up because cum is running out of your ass. I want it like our first time. Scoot to the edge of the bed." As I did, Troy piled the pillows against the headboard. Then he lay back, holding out his arms for me. I moved back, preparing to sit on his dick. "Let me!" Cody exclaimed. He lifted Troy's cock and placed a hand under my left ass cheek to guide me. I felt the large mushroom cap of Troy's cock connect with my hole. As I lowered myself, Troy's dick slid into me easily, leaving me with a pleasingly "full" sensation. As Troy started pumping and I started lifting, Cody asked, "How's it feel?" "Hot, tight, wet," Troy muttered through teeth clasped together. "Little Bro, suck our boyfriend so he can get off with me." A rakish grin curled Cody's upper lip. I'd never seen that mannerism of his before. He licked up and down my cock, then my balls, then up to my nipples, then around my head to kiss Troy. Then he was back down on my seven inches, really sucking and pulling. Troy was speeding up as was I. All of a sudden he jammed his cock up in me, lifting me off the bed. His cock ballooned, and I felt heat deep inside me. Troy reached around me, twisting my nipples, which made me fire too. Cody started moaning as he drank my load. Finally, we all stopped moving, breathing heavily. Cody pulled off my cock, licking it up and down to remove any traces of cum. Then he just put his head down on my stomach and we all recovered. Eventually, I sat up so that Troy could. He crawled over to the center of the bed with me on one side and Cody clambering over to the other side. Both Cody and I lay our heads on Troy's shoulders, and he pulled us up against him with his arms around us. I fell into sleep like a rock falling into a pool of water. (To be continued.) Thanks to Scott, my editor, and the Cub. Apologies to readers for the delay. Major travel schedule this month and next, sometimes five days out on the road.