Date: Mon, 31 Dec 2001 19:35:54 -0800 (PST) From: Evan Bradely Subject: Chapter 25 of "Ambush" The following fictional story deals with sex among males. If you are offended by such material, are too young, or reside in an area where it is not allowed, depart. Though not observed in this story, care enough about yourself and humankind to practice safe sex. The author retains all rights. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the author's consent. EBradley33@Excite.com Chapter 25 Claimings and Recreations I was standing with my forehead pressed against the cold grey tile of the men's restroom as though the storm pitching in my mind could be calmed by the coolness of the wall. To have Tim's snub revealed in front of my students was humiliating. "Well, why couldn't you control that?" that interior voice asked. I should have lied when Wendy Fielding asked me why I wasn't at the party. However, lying was foreign to my nature. When I was young, a friend, Josh, had been stopped by a highway patrolman for speeding while he was driving another friend's, Del's, car without his license. I pulled my license out of my wallet and shoved it into Josh's hand with the terse order, "Here use this. Hurry up and get out before he gets up here and starts asking a lot of questions." After Josh had been given his ticket, we pulled back onto the highway, congratulating ourselves as know-it-all young Turks might, planning how Josh would show up in traffic court as Evan Halsey and pay the fine. We hadn't gone a hundred feet when the red light started flashing again. This time the patrolman asked Del and me to show him our licenses. I couldn't help it. I handed him my license, which Josh had just returned to me. "What's your name?" the beefy patrolman asked. I paused a moment, trying to figure out what I should do. "Evan Halsey," I replied quietly. "Well isn't that interesting. I just gave a ticket to an Evan Halsey who's standing right over there." Josh received another ticket for using my license. I received a ticket for allowing him to do so. And Del received a ticket for allowing an unlicensed driver at the wheel of his car. Josh and Del were hacked off at me because I hadn't lied by claiming I didn't have my license with me. That scene had repeated many times in my life. So when Wendy asked me why I wasn't at the party, I couldn't dissemble - even with a white lie. After Wendy's question, I had set my students to group work and then had fled to the restroom, but Troy, Jeremy, and Kenny had followed, sent by Susan, no doubt. I was surprised she didn't walk in herself. No, on second thought, that wouldn't be classy. If anything, one of Susan's stunning qualities was her classy character. I'd asked the guys to return to group work, and I'd heard the door whoosh, indicating, I thought, that they'd left. But someone put his hands on my shoulders, massaging and squeezing. "I let you down again, didn't I, Evan?" "I think you've had a few other concerns on your mind, Jeremy. Please go back to your group. . . . But don't leave class today without setting up an appointment to discuss your last essay." "No, Evan, you're not dismissing me. We're discussing this here and now. We both need it. I have so much shit happening in my life now that I'm not going to let it pile up any deeper." I shivered, hearing the pain in his voice. I didn't want him to be hurting like that. He whirled me around, put his fingers under my chin and tilted my face up so that I was looking up into his eyes. "Evan, the hurt in your eyes . . . I can't stand it. Don't you realize that none of us meant to hurt you? Knowing you, you'll probably misunderstand what I'm about to say, but it's the truth - for us kids, it was just another party. It didn't have anything to do with you, and it only remotely had anything to do with Tim. For me it was a chance to be with Kenny in a relaxed atmosphere, something we haven't had. Kenny's been upset because I've been working so much to help out at home. We're only together when we're at school. I guess we thought you'd been invited, but we decided you wouldn't show. And we damned sure weren't going to ask you because it would rub your face in all this stuff that's gone down between you and Tim. If I were still living at your place, I imagine we would have mentioned it when we shared our schedules with each other." I just looked into his brown eyes. He pulled me to him forcefully in a bear hug. "Please, Evan, forgive me. Something has to start working out for me. Even if you don't mean it, tell me you forgive me. I've got to lose some of the stress I'm carrying now. I'm busting my ass, but I'm not making anyone happy. . . . I guess we might as well talk about that 'D' on my essay." He leaned back looking down in my face. "Wouldn't cut a buddy any slack on that one, huh?" he asked, the mischief dancing in his eyes. My back stiffened: "Jeremy, I don't give grades; you earn them," I said with some heat in my voice. He chuckled. "I knew that remark would bring the old Evan back. So how about it - forgive me for not telling you about the party and for the 'D'?" "No forgiving necessary, Jeremy. We're okay. But I want to know how that grade happened." He paused a moment, looking above my head at the wall, tears starting to sparkle in his eyes. "It's not going well, Evan. . . . I'm so miserable." There was a catch in his voice just short of a sob. "I live in a box, Evan, with someone who has no feeling for me. Oh, she tries to play a good game, but it's no different than it was when I lived there before with her and Dad. Feels exactly the same. I'm working my butt off to try to push away her fears about money. . . . She's already got a boyfriend, a construction worker named Price she met at work. He and I disliked each other on sight. But I behaved. I think she's angling for her next husband - or at least the man who's going to keep her. "I'm tired all the time. Kenny and I have no time together. I have less study time than I used to have. It's so bad that any place I use time, I'm stealing it from something or someone else that should be important. I'm surprised I was able to do as much as I did on that essay, but I knew it was bad. Maybe you can understand why I really didn't even think about Tim and you when the chance for the party came along. It simply was an opportunity for Kenny and me to be together and for me to escape a lot of heavy stuff for a little while. To be honest, I didn't even give Tim a thought. I think I said something pretty lame about how I hoped this new job would be exciting for him, but I was really thinking only about Kenny." I was looking up in those brown eyes clouded with emotion, into that handsome face, feeling the muscles in that strong back through my hands. "Say it, please, Evan. I have to hear it." "Okay, I'll say it for you, not for me because I don't need it. You're forgiven Jeremy." Immediately, my face was mashed into the space between his pecs. Oh man, I loved his smell, and I felt that the storm inside me ratchet down a level. He kissed me on the forehead. "Hey," I remonstrated - "I'm not some little kid!" He threw his head back laughing. Then he looked down at me: "It's so much fun pushing your buttons, Evan. Makes me feel like a puppet master. I push a button and you respond exactly as I expected." "Don't get cocky about this buttons stuff. If I have buttons that work so automatically, you need to remember those movies about the toys, machines and vehicles that go Terminator!" I shot back, trying to look menacing. Again his head flew back in laughter. "Oh, Evan, I miss this with you. I need this with you." "Jeremy, this stress can't go on. Something has got to change. Let's figure out what you can change and do it, or you'll be paying heavy prices." "I honestly don't know what to do, Evan." "Okay, select among the following, but understand that you WILL select some combination of what I suggest - that point's not negotiable. One, continue to work and help your mom out financially but move back home where you can at least experience some support and comfort. Two, modify your work schedule by working fewer hours one week but more the next - on, then off, then on, and so on. I'll help with what you don't earn in the down week. Three, continue to live with your mother but come home to study. You and Kenny can have a study hall at home, can be together." Here, a wicked gleam entered my eyes, making him snicker. "Four - and this one I'm choosing for you, so that's the last word on that: at the beginning of assignments in my course, take 15 minutes at lunch time to sit down with me so that we can talk through the assignment. Bring Kenny with you. He can benefit from it too. This strategy will allow your cognitive processes to pull together the language patterns you will need to clothe the concepts you will be managing. That's why it feels so difficult to get started on an assignment. Some of the language is in storage; it hasn't been unpacked. But if it's a good assignment, it requires one to create new language with new combinations of stored language. We'll continue to schedule these 'quick-fix' discussions to move you along to meet the due date and to help you incorporate our learning objectives in your assignment. Five, either you or I will set up study groups with Susan, Troy, Kenny - anyone with whom you have a course so that they can move you along faster in handling your study obligations. They'll be happy to do it, Jeremy. They love you. You know that. Six, when we see you, either Kenny or I will give you a short massage to help relieve the stress." Now the wicked gleam moved to his eyes. "O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-u, I want six right now," he snickered as I was again mashed into that hard, muscular chest. "It was a lucky day when I was assigned to your English section, Evan Halsey. And I thought I had been sentenced to Purgatory!" he chuckled. But I wasn't letting him out of it. "Choose another option besides just six!" He backed off, looking down at me. "Let me think about it. I may call off work tonight so that Kenny and I can come home to figure out with you what we can do. Maybe both of you can give me a massage." "Libertine! No, you and Kenny need some time just for you. Tell you what - since you aren't working tonight, I'm making a reservation for the two of you at Club Eleven. You'll go have an early dinner together, just you two. I'll arrange the payment with Rex, the maitre 'd, whom I know. Then you can come home and shut yourselves away in your room. We can talk later." Again, his eyes glittered. I'd misjudged the degree of his feelings, for I saw a single tear streak down his right cheek. This time I was crushed against him. I loved it. What medicine for the both of us! "It already feels better," he whispered. "Couldn't have been much wrong if it was fixed so easily with a hug," that inner voice observed. 'Go away,' I commanded. 'If you knew anything, you'd know it wasn't just a hug.' "Give me a minute, Jeremy, to splash some water on my face. Go ahead to the classroom. I won't be far behind. He left. I rested a moment, and then returned to the classroom. As I walked down the hall, the vignette prompted by Wendy's question replayed itself. I could feel my face burning again in humiliation. 'This blushing thing is a genuine trial,' I thought to myself. 'Wonder when I'm going to outgrow it. You'd think I would have by now.' I didn't look up when I entered the classroom. I moved behind my desk. Once again, during the few instances when I looked up, I moved my eyes along a line just above the students' heads. The hour proceeded to its end, when I dismissed the class. I tried to disappear in the background, but I noticed someone standing in front of my desk. I wanted that person to go away, but it didn't happen. I looked up. Byron Okata. He was cute - thick black hair bushing out on top, intense black eyes hiding behind glasses, beautiful complexion, slightly broad shoulders, thin waist and a slightly rounded butt. He was intelligent, but I had to keep pushing him to move out from his "safe," book-oriented knowledge. During conferences about his essays, when I encouraged him to venture out with ideas and feelings of his own, he looked at me in a rather pained manner. Even that was cute. I hoped he had a girl friend, but I never saw him with one. In fact, I seldom saw him with anyone. He seemed too much a loner. Hm-m-m-m. Was there an opportunity here for Susan to work her magic? "Evan," that inner voice interjected, "remember what happened when you had Susan fix Jeremy up with Melanie Simpson? Did you ever bomb that time. Now you want to repeat that?" I felt chastened. 'Well, I just wanted the best. I might just mention the possibility to Susan this time and follow her judgment.' Byron was not to be put off. "Mr. Halsey, I feel as though I did something wrong, but I don't know what. I don't understand what happened here today, but I could feel the tension coming from everyone. I know it had something to do with Wendy's question about your not being at Mr. Minor's party and some of us being there. Did I do something wrong?" "Not a thing, Byron. It's okay. Thank you for asking. You can go on to your next class." He just stood looking at me. I smiled. The corners of his mouth twitched. Looking doubtful, he turned away, heading off to his next class. * * * Since Jeremy and Kenny were going out to dinner, I decided to do the same at Francini's. Actually, if I dined at Tony's restaurant, I wouldn't have to feel guilty about sending Jeremy and Kenny to Club Eleven. But they needed time just to themselves, and they would have less of that if I sent them to Francini's with Tony and Angela there. A new waitress seated me near the doors opening into private dining rooms. I hadn't seen Tony or Angela. I was sipping my usual gin and tonic when I looked up and choked while swallowing. Mary Ellen Branson, the head of the Science Department, was heading into the dining room with an entourage of science faculty members, spouses, and significant others, among whom figured Tim Minor and Alan Frazier. I looked away, hoping they wouldn't see me in such a big dining room. "Oh, look, it's Evan Halsey. Yoo-hoo, Evan!" warbled Mary Ellen. I looked up. She was dragging them all over my way. Damn! I noticed that Tony had entered the dining room, looking up when Mary Ellen hailed me. I set down my drink and slowly stood, balancing on my good leg. Tony came up within about ten feet of us all. Mary Ellen began a little breathlessly, "Evan, we're here for our departmental Christmas get-together, or we'd ask you to join us." I just smiled faintly at her, nodding my head and greeting the other faculty members whom I knew who were stringing along after Mary Ellen. "Did you hear that we are losing Tim at the end of the semester?" she frowned, a trifle histrionically, I thought, probably for Tim's benefit. Without looking at Tim, I replied dryly, "I've heard it bruited about the halls." Perhaps noting my discomfort, Tony cleared his throat: "We're ready to seat your party now, Mrs. Branson." In Mother Hen fashion, Mary Ellen began marshalling her flock into the side dining room where Tony had pointed. "Sorry Evan," Mary Ellen smiled faintly, "we have to get on. Parents have to get home to babysitters, you know." "Of course." While I didn't dislike her, I was glad that Mary Ellen was not the chair of the English Department. She behaved like a third-grade teacher toward her faculty. It would drive me crazy. As her entourage moved off and Tim passed by me, he commented softly, "You shouldn't be alone, Evan," looking at me with his usual smirk. I looked away, reaching down for my drink. I downed the rest of it, grabbed my crutches, and moved to the foyer to the hostess's stand. No way was I going to stay there where Tim could mosey out for a gloat. Tony shot over to the station when I reached there. As though he had read my mind, Tony quietly reassured me, "Evan, you don't have to leave. Let me put you someplace where you can finish your dinner in peace." "Thank you, Tony. I think perhaps I should just call it an evening. I can take my dinner home as a take-out." "Please, Evan, let me take care of this. You've had a bad day. You deserve a good meal in peace." "It's okay, Tony." "No, it's not. I feel bad. Let me do this for you," he nearly begged. My brow wrinkled. "Why do you feel bad?" "I didn't warn you about Tim Minor's party. I didn't really think about it. I guess I thought Susan or Troy or Jeremy would have told you since you guys are such good friends. When I realized your predicament in class, I didn't know what to do, but I felt for you. Please let me do this now. Follow me." He moved off as though there was no question about my staying. I crutched off after him. He led me to another alcove near the kitchen but secluded. "No one will bother you here," he looked at me knowingly. "We use this alcove to talk business and to catch quick meals when there's a lull." "Thank you, Tony. I appreciate it. But I can't take space that you all might need." "The dinner crowd is moving in. We're getting busy. No one will have any time to use this table. Please," he said as he pulled out a chair. I shrugged my shoulders. "Just so you know, I consider you a friend equal to Susan and Troy. It's been exciting watching you open up, turn on, act as a major connector among your classmates, especially Angela." He beamed. "I'll have a waiter bring you another gin and tonic - on the house!" he promised, zipping off. Tony kept checking in to see that all was well. I finished my meal. While signing the charge slip, I smiled because Tony was receiving an outrageous tip - only he didn't know it yet. I felt like the reformed Scrooge on Christmas morning, ordering up the fat goose in the butcher's shop from the neighbor boy in the street below and than flipping him a gold coin. When Tony saw that I was ready to leave, he told me, "Wait a sec. I'll see if the coast is clear. He shot down the little aisle and around the corner. He was back in no time. "It's okay, Evan. They've just started their entrees." Then he walked up to me and clapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly, whispering, "Don't hurt, Evan. We don't want you to hurt. You've given us so much; you've liberated me." "Don't steal credit from yourself, Tony. I just showed you a door. You decided to open it and walk through." He squeezed me tightly. Then he moved his head back to look at me, that devilish gleam in his eyes. "S-o-o-o-o-o what price did I pay for deciding to open that door and walk through?" I smiled. "You also walked into a room in my heart and claimed it for your own." I looked as fierce as I was able: "No more slacking or coasting!" "Oh, Halsey's ramparts," he snickered. I smiled, we hugged. After our good- byes, I returned home, grateful that I had made off without running into Tim again. "Suck it up, Evan," that inner voice said. Just discipline your mind; then the whole mess will fade into the background." 'Oh, I can discipline my mind,' I answered. 'I've proven that many times over. I just don't know how to discipline my heart. I wonder if I can disconnect one from the other." "Sounds dangerous - for everyone," the voice answered. * * * When I arrived home, Kenny's and Jeremy's cars were parked in front of the house. I let myself in quietly. The door to Jeremy's bedroom was closed. I went into my bedroom and closed the door. I undressed, pulling on some sweats and thick wool socks, my favorite winter wear around the house. I retreated to the sun room, where I listened to Christmas music with the volume turned down low. I was tired of thinking about Tim, tired of talking about it, and especially tired of having it come up. I knew it was my fault. I should have just rushed on during class when I realized Tim had snubbed me. "You can turn your feelings off just like that?" that inner voice asked doubtfully?" I didn't think so. It wasn't who I am. "Well who are you?" that inner voice asked sarcastically. 'Go away,' I replied tartly. 'I'm not arm-wrestling with you now.' I tried to empty my head of every thought that would require any mental exertion. After a while, my eyes were beginning to feel heavy when I heard the door to Jeremy's room open. "Evan, where are you?" I heard Jeremy call out as they made their way in my direction. "Sun room," I called. Jeremy and Kenny came strolling in, arm in arm, hair mussed up, in just their jockeys, sporting post-orgasmic bulges. 'Well, that source of stress has been addressed - at least partially,' I thought. "Hi guys. How was dinner?" They walked over to me, Kenny bending down first to give me a warm kiss on the lips, followed by Jeremy, who kissed me hard and then flopped down on the floor, grabbing Kenny's wrist and pulling him down onto his lap, evoking giggles from Kenny. "Dinner was great," Kenny exclaimed. "Thank you, Evan." "Thank you, Evan," Jeremy echoed. "As you can see, it helped a lot," he grinned lasciviously. "Where were you?" "Oh, I had dinner at Francini's." "Did you see Tony or Angela?" he asked, cradling Kenny loosely in his arms and legs. They looked like cubs lolling over each other. They looked hot! I wished Kenny could sketch them that way for me. "Tony, yes, Angela no. Tony rescued me." "How? Why?" Jeremy asked. "While I was waiting for my meal in that first big dining room, in walks the Science Department faculty on its way to its Christmas dinner. Tim was there with Alan. I was going to leave, but Tony put me in an alcove and made certain I was comfortable." "Tony's a great guy," Jeremy said. "So Jeremy, did you tell Kenny about the options we discussed this morning?" I asked. "Yeah, he did. As you can tell, we've already put your plan about massages into motion," Kenny giggled. "So what's it going to be, Jeremy?" I asked. "I've thought it over carefully, Evan. I'd like to move back home, but I'm afraid it might leave Mom feeling abandoned again. And it might also push her into Price's arms without the opportunity to decide if he's what she really wants. If she decides she wants him, that's one thing. But if I pull out, she'll decide she has no choice. So Kenny and I will have study hall here if you don't mind. Whenever you give me an assignment, I want to plan the 15- minute meetings. And the study groups. I know Troy and Susan have studied together that way ever since you told Troy to try it. I think Cody studies with them sometimes too." "You mean for classes which the three of them have in common?" "For English too. Even though Cody's not in your class, he says he learns a lot from Troy and Susan. He has Ruth Lawrence for English. He says he doesn't learn as much. Lots of emphasis on spelling, grammar, punctuation, and emoting about what they read. . . . I hope you understand about my not moving back here." "Of course I understand, and I applaud your sensitivity. Your points about your mother are astute and caring. You've made good choices." We continued to visit for another half an hour. Then they arose to dress and return to their respective abodes. "Well, this may push madness off for a while," I thought. * * * At lunch on Tuesday, I was sitting at my desk, grading essays and munching on my usual lunch, an apple. My peripheral vision recorded the movement of someone past my classroom door, but I was focusing on a section of Angela Walker's essay that was incoherent. I was studying the section syntactically and semantically, detecting where the missteps had occurred, how to correct those, and how to explain all this to Angela. As a consequence, I wasn't allowing my attention to be pulled away. I lost myself in jotting several sentences on the scoring sheet for Angela's essay. Vaguely, I noticed more movement in the hallway, but I continued my task. As I completed my explanation, reading over it to be certain it was clear, I just happened to glance up while pondering a phrase. I almost exclaimed out loud, for there stood Alan Frazier, Tim Minor's boyfriend, just outside the door to my classroom, watching me. I'm afraid my bottom jaw dropped a little. What was he doing there? Upon my looking up, he walked into my classroom with a self-assured gait and a charming smile. Of course, he had to be taller than I - nearly Tim's height. He had to have muscular shoulders. Had to have a slim waist, well-shaped hands and fingers. Had to be golden and beautiful - his honey blond hair perfect. The irises of his eyes were the ice blue that I found striking. He had that upper lip that came to two little peaks just below each nostril, a feature I found alluring. At least he didn't have dimples like Troy. When he reached my desk he held out his hand: "Mr. Halsey, my name is Alan Frazier." A shiver passed through me, noted by Alan. His well-modulated voice with an unusual timbre moving just beneath the surface sent a charge down to my cock. 'How does he do that,' I wondered. 'I wish I could do that.' "I apologize for interrupting you during your lunch and grading. I was in the building to meet Tim, so I wanted to come by to introduce myself." He moved his outstretched hand closer to me. I looked at it for about five beats, then looked back into his eyes. I didn't want to shake his hand. At the same time, I saw no guile in his eyes. "Evan," that inner voice scolded, "Alan has done nothing to hurt you. Don't be small by being rude." Reluctantly, my hand moved forward. He reached out to it, clasping it in a strong, warm handshake that sent currents up through my arm into my armpit, making my eyes widen. Again, he detected my reaction. I was really caught off guard. I had nothing to say, so I decided to let him take the lead since he was the one who sought me out. "You interest me," he commented. Then he waited - and waited. 'Oh,' I thought, 'the old teacher trick - he's going to wait me out until I reply.' I looked deeply into those sparkling eyes, slowly withdrawing my hand. "I can't imagine why you would make such a remark or even why you'd come to my classroom. Time must be weighing heavily on your hands. I'm fairly certain there's nothing to be discussed between us that would benefit anyone, including ourselves." Ignoring the dismissal implicit in my remarks, he began, "I'm impressed that a teacher, a man, can excite such loyalty from his students." Pause. "I'm not following you." "I've wanted to meet you since I learned about you. By the way, it was only after Tim and I had started up that I learned that you and Tim were involved too. When I told Tim I was stepping out of our relationship because he was already involved with someone else, he told me he was dropping you - his words, not mine. I can anticipate your questions: Tim didn't tell me about you. Troy Morgan did. Then Wendy Fielding. And the look on your face tells me that Tim just quit seeing you, never told you about him and me. So I deduce you found out about us the same way you found out about the going-away party. Right?" I studied him for a bit. What was the point of all this conversation when we weren't buddies? If anything, had been adversaries. He just waited, smiling benignly. "Right," I responded reluctantly. "For what good it does, I'm sorry you had those experiences. Everything I hear about you tells me that you deserved better. But to the point - Wendy's my reason for being here. She regrets that she bull-dogged you by springing the news about Tim's party in class. She asked me to tell you as much. I don't know the motive, but Tim planted the idea as she and Shane McComber were leaving the party. He asked her to tell you that he missed you at the party. Neither one of us knew that you hadn't been invited. After you told Wendy that in your class, I hear she charged right into Tim's classroom before the next class, grabbed him by the tie in front a room full of students, pulled him out in the hall, and read him the riot act. I think it was only at that moment, having elicited that strong a protest from her about being used to slam you, that Tim realized he'd been behaving less than nobly. And after he had made Wendy complicit in your embarrassment, I think he was sorry. You know as well as I the really good side of Tim, the caring side." He studied me carefully, for the first time perhaps apprehensively. "Why didn't Wendy come tell me all this herself if it was so important?" I asked. "She's gotten some rhubarb from a few of her classmates. That blew the whole business up in her mind. She likes you, Mr. Halsey - a lot. They all do, you know. That's what's so interesting about you. How you excite that kind of loyalty. Troy had some sharp words with Tim about you, I hear. Susan flat out told Tim how disappointed she was in him, how much she felt she had over- estimated his character, how she didn't think he could probably regain with her the ground he'd lost. Wendy is worried about damage to her relationship with you. How about it? What message may I take back to her?" "As with any of my students, no matter what words have passed between us, she has nothing to fear from me unless she's slacking off. Then I'll get on anybody's case in whatever fashion is appropriate for that student. But you know that Wendy is anything but a slacker. Every thing's fine between us. I realized from her reaction in class that she'd been set up. Besides, Wendy's hasn't a mean bone in her body. Perhaps you'll be so kind as to invite her to speak with me about this matter at her earliest convenience." Alan's smile was a killer. He didn't need dimples, damn it! "Just what I'd hoped to hear. I'll pass on the words and accompanying emotional endorsement to Wendy post-haste. If I may be so bold, would you share with me how you bond so tightly with your students?" My head shook slightly from side to side as I thought 'I don't want to try to answer a question like that. It's tantamount to asking me to explain the meaning of life in a sentence.' He must have read my mind, for his smile became slightly tentative at the corners of his mouth. "Alan, I'm trying my best to dislike you, but you keep throwing barriers in my way." My reply startled him. It was clearly unexpected. Alan was used to charming the socks off people. His smile faded. Even sober- sided, he was beautiful. He gulped. "Please, Evan, I need for you to like me. I know that circumstances make that difficult, but you are just the man to rise above them. Please?" I looked skeptical: "Why in the world do you need for me to like you?" For the first time his smooth composure actually cracked. He tossed his head a bit as though nearly in defeat, looking down at the floor and sighing. Then he looked me squarely in the eyes. "I know I come across as someone who was swatted hard up the side of the head by Lady Fortune's magic wand. But inside, I'm constantly afraid that someone will realize what a phony I am. I don't feel anything like the way people behave toward me or say about me - like the way I saw just a bit ago that I affected you. I feel guilty about it most of the time. I guess that's why I feel like a fraud. Before Tim's going-away party, I was especially afraid that you would see right through me and then trash me in front of students. "I looked at you yesterday evening in Francini's when Mary Ellen was talking to you. I knew you were under pressure. I knew you wanted a hole to open in the floor and swallow her or you. But you kept your cool. You were dignity personified. Nothing jangled your nerves. I wondered if ice water ran in your veins. You even answered her perfectly when she asked if you knew Tim was leaving. "'I've heard it bruited about the halls,'you said, devoid of emotion except for just a tinge of sassiness. I want to be like that. How do I get to be like that, Evan?" "By knowing and maintaining who you are. It's something you become, Alan. You don't just adopt it. But the real issue here isn't sassiness. It has to do with the incongruity between your perception of yourself in your inner world as opposed to other's perception of you in the outer world. It happens to most people, by the way, so you're in good company." I smiled ruefully. "You can keep company with Evan Halsey, for you'll find him in that crowd with you. Trying to bring our inner and outer universes into some kind of meaningful, harmonious juxtaposition takes a lot of time and energy of most people. I can't explain the meaning of life to you now, but take it from me - you're doing plenty okay in moving toward your goal. You already have me liking you even though I don't want to do so." I was smiling, which lit up that beautiful face of his. "Thank you, Evan, for not putting me down just now when I opened up to you. For trusting me. I know you have a class coming in soon, but I need to say one more thing to you. Could we keep it just between us?" "Of course." He paused. "I know the mistake you made with Tim, so I'll be able to avoid it as long as I wish." My smile fled as my back stiffened at his reference to my mistake. "Oh, don't be upset," he rushed to explain, for my brow wrinkled and darkened. He put his hand over mine, squeezing it. "I'm not putting you down. Unless Tim really opened himself up to you, you couldn't have known what I'm talking about. And I'm certain Tim will never open himself up to you or to me on this point. I wouldn't have realized it if I hadn't been with him during his withdrawal from you. Tim isn't physically claustrophobic, but he's emotionally claustrophobic. I can't think of a better way to put it than that. You were becoming very serious about him, and even worse for him, he was drawn to you faster than he could control. He was feeling closed in, trapped. I just happened to be there at that moment - flotsam to which he could cling in a troubled sea. Thanks to you, I won't count on anything permanent with Tim because I'm the interim boyfriend. However, no one will likely effect any permanent relationship with Tim unless it stays sexual and superficial. I think he doesn't realize that, if it is sexual in the right way, it won't remain superficial. Oh, I know many guys never figure that out. Tim's smart enough to. But he resists, breaking off with someone when they begin to move him closer to that realization than he can stand. When he finds the same thing happening with me - if it does - he'll do to me what he did to you, trying to find someone he thinks is better. I know that. But I also know I can't coast on my good looks. From you and Tim - you positively, Tim negatively, I've learned that, if I want something real and deep, I have to give something more than good looks. I feel sorry for Tim because he could have had real and deep from you. I owe you thanks again for protecting me this way." He smiled a bit. "I can always find someone better than Tim too." Alan looked over his shoulder as students were filtering into the classroom. He looked at me, his eyes sincere. "I wish this could go on, Evan. But I know you have responsibilities. I'll tell Wendy to come see you. I'll never forget this conversation - and I did most of the talking," he chuckled. "Nor will I. As for your doing most of the talking, you were ready to hear yourself. I was just a catalyst. I'm grateful that I played that small a part for you. I wish circumstances allowed us to know each other better. But you'll do okay, Alan. You are standing tall." He held out his hand. I readily grasped it this time. We looked into each other's eyes, finding a world of good feeling each for the other, realizing that in another time and place, we could have been good friends. We reclaimed our hands, he sighed, walked to the door, and turned once to look back at me, shooting me one of those killer smiles and a small wave. * * * Wednesday ground itself out. Students were hyper all day in anticipation of the holiday, so not a lot of learning occurred. I retreated home the moment the closing bell rang. That evening and the next two days passed in a haze. I kept pushing troubling issues out of my mind. I took clothes to the cleaners, shopped for groceries, put gas in the car, cleaned house as best I could on crutches, did laundry - filling in the time with mindless tasks. I couldn't help wondering what my students were doing. And I couldn't keep Jeremy, Kenny, Susan, Troy, and Cody out of my mind. I wished that they had a reason for dropping in, but they were busy with their families and holiday tasks. On Christmas Eve, I gritted my teeth and attended the 8:00 Christmas Mass at St. Luke's Episcopal Church. I'd steeled myself because, while it was a beautiful service and I needed to be there, it was such a family occasion. I felt like a penguin among tropical birds sporting exotic plumage. But I had obligations of a different plane and order, all of which outweighed my hang-ups. I returned home, sitting in front of the Christmas tree, sipping a glass of merlot. I had moved along enough in my transition away from Tim that I realized my feelings about him had more to do with what might have been rather than anything we had created. We hadn't been together long enough to really create anything. My sorrow owed to my coming close to experiencing a loving, intimate relationship with a man. That insight helped. Finally, the Christmas CD played itself out. I arose, extinguished the lights on the Christmas tree, and retired, feeling alone. 'Why does feeling alone make me also feel like a failure,' I wondered. 'Oh yeah,' I suddenly thought, my mind sliding over my life history. 'I know how it happened,' but on this night I was not traveling that road. * * * It was early Christmas afternoon. I'd slept in, hoping to use up as much of the day as possible that way. It was always worse at night when one was alone on a holiday. I didn't know why that was, it just was. 'I guess it's soup time,' I thought. The phone rang. I crutched over to it, thinking some relative must be calling. "Merry Christmas, Evan," sang Susan. "Hey, and a Merry Christmas to you too!" "Evan, I tried to cross paths with you before school let out. I needed to talk to you about class on Monday. We're so very sorry for the way you found out about Tim's party. On a personal note, I regret not mentioning the party to you. Troy and I were torn two ways. I could easily have missed the party, but Tim and Troy were so close. Even though he was angry at Tim for the way he treated you, Troy still wanted to go say good-bye to Tim. And Troy begged me to be there at the party with him. He assured me that you'd understand. I wasn't trying to hide anything. I'd thought you would dislike our feeling caught between you and Tim. I reasoned that if we'd come to you about our feelings, you would have insisted that we attend." "Indeed I would." "Good. Are you, Troy, and I okay then?" "Always." "I've been asked to tell you to prepare for a surprise - in about half an hour." "Oh? Like what? Couldn't be Publishers Clearing House come calling." "Evan! In this season of good cheer and secrets - you expect me to disclose privileged information? Now Evan Halsey would never ask anyone he respected to do that." "Well, at least give me a hint - is Santa showing up at the door or what?" "You'll have some guests." "Not another houseful?" I asked. Susan chuckled. "No, more what you would consider family. Light the tree. Strike up the carols. Heat the wassail. Light the yule log. I'll bring honeyed sweets." "Ok-a-a-a-y," I replied doubtfully. Recalling past days' events, I asked, "This isn't going to be unpleasant is it?" "No, Evan, rest easy. I'm in the dark about part of this myself. But you can trust me that it will be good. See you in half an hour." I did have the tree lighted, made certain that plenty to drink was on hand, and carols were playing. Couldn't do much about the yule log. A knock on the door alerted me to Susan, Troy, and Cody's presence on the porch. They entered with Christmas greetings, Troy bearing a sack, which he took to the kitchen, Susan hugged me tightly, kissed my cheek, then followed Troy to the kitchen. Cody hugged me, kissing me on the cheek. What a change he had undergone. His tutelage under his "big brother" Troy and friend Jeremy was becoming more apparent every day. He was more open, even teasing others, including me, occasionally. Following Troy's pattern, I saw him helping others out, offering a kind word, a simple squeeze on the shoulder. That was a big step away from the cold Cody of the past. Troy returned to the living room, hugging me and giving me a sweet kiss on the lips while Cody collected the coats, leaving them on my bed. Not long after Susan entered with a tray of cookies and homemade candy. Troy jumped up and scooted to the kitchen, returning with soft drinks for everyone. Troy and Susan sat on the sofa, Susan sheltering under Troy's arm, which he had around her. I sat in a wing chair, and Cody chose a place on the carpet. "Evan, Susan's told me about your being okay with our attending Tim's party, but I want to tell you that nothing about that was meant to hurt you," Troy said, looking earnestly at me. "Yes, Troy, I know. It's done, over. Everything's okay. I'm past it." I heard cars pulling up to the curb in front of the house. Cody stretched out toward one of the front windows, pulling a curtain aside. "I think the surprise has arrived." He hopped up as did Troy, both hustling outside. I started to rise, but Susan said, "Evan, if you want to make some people really happy, just sit where you are. Let them come to you as they planned it." "Okay, but the suspense is growing!" I heard chattering male voices coming up the walk and onto the porch. The door swung open, admitting Cody carrying clothes on hangers and a grocery sack with something in it. Troy entered next with a box and a sack full of something. In bopped Kenny carrying a couple of sacks, bubbling out a Christmas greeting. That boy was happy! Had to mean Jeremy was nearby. In he strode, arms full of sacks, looking for me. When his eyes lighted on me, he was beaming. "Be right back, Evan," he said as he followed the troops to his bedroom. I looked at Susan in wonderment. She just smiled back. "Patience." The crew returned shortly. Jeremy walked up to me, pulled me up, enveloped me in a bear hug, and smacked a Christmas greeting on my forehead. "Hey, I warned you about that," I groused, but I couldn't help grinning like a monkey. "Another push of the button, Evan. "You're so easy!" Jeremy taunted, pulling me into another hug. I heard Cody stifling a snicker. Kenny came back with sodas for Jeremy and him. Jeremy plopped down on the floor nearby, where Kenny joined him. Jeremy grinned at me mischievously. "I'm moving back, Evan, for good." "Great! But what prompted all this?" He turned, looking at each of us in turn. "I wanted all of you here because you're like family to me. I don't really have any family anymore except for all of you. I want to tell you what happened," he said, taking all of us into his glance. Turning to me, he said, "Then I have a request of you, Evan. I need a little moral support, so I asked these guys to be here too." "Shoot." He sighed. "Okay, here goes. . . . Each day I lived with my mom, life got worse, more tense." He turned to the group. "Oh yeah, I need first to tell you that Mom has found a boyfriend - his name's Price - to replace Dad. They were planning for him to move in with Mom. For reasons of her own, Mom wanted Price there when she told me that he would be living with us. I had started opening my presents when Price walked in the door. Even before Price arrived," he looked at me blushing, "I knew something was wrong. I began to suspect that Mom had somehow gotten a hold of gifts Evan intended for me and put her name on them. The Acqua di Gio cologne did it, Evan. No way would my mom buy something like that for me - or even think of it. When I got to the sport coat and saw your handwriting indicating the gift came from Santa, I knew it for a fact. She didn't give it any more thought than that - never realized that I see your writing every week in school. I'm sorry, Evan. I loved the gifts," he said, his brow wrinkled in concern. I shook my head dismissively. "What were they?" Cody asked. "From Santa, a tan sport coat to match my olive slacks, a dark green dress shirt, a cream tie and a gold paisley tie, socks, cologne, handkerchiefs." "Hey, a haul!" Troy exclaimed. Susan just winked at me to show her approval. "As I opened each gift, I'd gotten quieter and quieter. Price popped off that those were fine gifts but that I wasn't showing much appreciation for my mother. I jumped up, asking them to excuse me for a minute, and went to Mom's bedroom where she keeps her checkbook. "A suspicion had been growing in my mind almost as soon as I moved back home. I kept hearing about how we were behind on bills. My dad would never have allowed that. He hadn't been gone long enough for us to have fallen as far behind as Mom was making out. But I never saw any mail coming to the house stamped 'Final Notice,' indicating that collection agencies would start calling soon. When I opened her dresser drawer, I spotted a savings passbook beside her checkbook, so I opened it. The first thing my eyes fell on was a $15,000 balance! And she had $900 in her checking account. I saw red. She'd had me slaving and sacrificing and not doing justice to my education or my lover just so I could pay bills while she was protecting her nest egg. I think maybe Dad must have found out about it too, which caused him to take off. She was playing the same game with him. Maybe he left the $100 in their account to take care of me. I'd like to think that anyway. "I started to charge out into the living room to accuse Mom of using me and lying to me. But I realized that the best thing for all of us was for Price to live with her while I came back here to live in what has become my real home. And I knew just how to manage it with the least fuss but most permanence. I called Kenny and asked him to come over in his car and help me move back here. I asked him to call you guys to come here to Evan's. Then I walked back to the living room, quietly thanked Mom for the gifts. Before I had packed all the gifts, Kenny had arrived. I brought him into the living room with my arm around his waist. I told Mom I had another gift for her, the most important one I could give her - a future son-in-law. 'I'm gay, Mom. Don't you think my boyfriend is cute and sexy? His name is Kenny. We came out to his parents at Thanksgiving, so I thought it only fair to come out to you at Christmas. I didn't want to play favorites. Price, I'm glad you're here so that I can include you too." Mom sat up straight and blinked. Price frowned. Then he looked at Mom. 'I'm not living with a fag,' he said. 'I guess you need to choose what you want.' "'Oh, that's okay, Pricey, old boy. I'm way ahead of you here. I already have someplace better to live. I'll be packing to move there now. Kenny has come to help me.'" "It was frosty in there," Kenny observed soberly. Jeremy put his arm around Kenny. "I'm sorry, Kenny. I didn't think it would play itself out quite that way. Please don't let it get you down. They will never be important to us. And we can't let them diminish what we have." He gave Kenny a quick kiss, all of which restored Kenny's good spirits. "Are you okay, Jeremy?" Susan asked, concern in her voice. "It's usually not easy at our age to say good-bye to any kind of parent. For young people any parent to belong to is more important than none." "I'm okay, Susan," he smiled at her. It's easier when you have a comfortable home and a loving roommate waiting for you. He studied me for a bit, looked at Kenny, who smiled encouragement at him. Then he looked at Troy and Cody. Something was coming down. He arose and came over to my chair, kneeling down and sliding his arms around my back, hugging me. Ah-oh. I remembered past occasions when this had happened. What was coming? I hugged him back. "Evan, I have a request to make of you. I don't need an answer now, and if you aren't comfortable with what I'm asking, that's okay too." He looked at Kenny, who nodded his head slightly, indicating Jeremy should proceed. "Evan, would you honor me by being my father. Would you adopt me?" I was stunned. I heard an uncharacteristic intake of breath from a surprised Susan. Troy and Cody looked at each other, smiling, giving each other a high five and then leaning far out to trade one with Kenny. Kenny giggled in that cute way he had. My head was atumble with impressions and questions. But I realized that something I'd always wanted had walked up and was staring me right in the face. I'd always thought I'd be quite the family man. Thought I'd have four children. Now I had a young man asking to be my son. Jeremy just waited patiently for me to say something. I smiled. "Jeremy, you've reached majority age - except for the liquor laws. You don't need a parent. You can even sign contracts without a cosigner - well, unless you are borrowing money, and that's only because you have no credit history or assets other than your car. Besides, I've already said I'd cosign your college loans with you. And let's see - since you are 18, I don't know if your parents have any further rights upon which my adopting you would infringe. Still, you can legally change your name right now, so maybe they don't have those rights any longer." "You think they want to retain their rights to claim a gay son?" Jeremy asked with some feeling, the latter directed at his parents, I knew. "I don't see them rushing to do that. Besides, I know all that, Evan. This isn't the first time I've thought about being your son. On one of those nights when I was holed up in the gym after my family and I were on the outs, I fantasized about what it would be like to be your son, to live here with you, even to get into arguments with you. And then fantasy started to become reality. It's not legality I'm after. It's belonging - really belonging to a parent in a way I never have. If I could do it by blood, I would. But I can do it by law. You've turned my world around. I can't think of anyone to whom I'm more indebted except you guys here - but especially you, Evan. They'll all agree. Please adopt me." He had never looked more handsome or noble to me as he did at that moment. I threw my head back and roared. "I want to hear your cheeky principal Kate Williams have the audacity to tell me she saw THIS coming!" The laughter was unanimous. After it abated, I hugged Jeremy. "I'd be honored, humbled, and ennobled to have you as my son, Jeremy. We'll have to see what we can do to make this all legal. We need to visit my attorney. I'll call for an appointment tomorrow." "Adopt me too, Evan" Troy whined playfully. "Me too," Cody joined in. "You can't break up brothers!" Kenny snickered. Susan rushed over and hugged Jeremy, then me, then Kenny. Troy and Cody were shaking Jeremy's hand, then hugging him, Cody kissing him on the cheek, Troy kissing him on the lips, earning a startled reaction from Jeremy. Kenny hugged me, whispering, "You'll be my father-in-law. I'm so happy." Susan, Troy and Cody took turns hugging Kenny and me. We sat around visiting until all but Kenny decided parents were expecting them back home. Jeremy asked Kenny if he wanted to stay to help him settle back in his room. Kenny readily agreed. I could hear them talking in Jeremy's bedroom amidst drawers and the closet being opened, paper sacks folded, and the like. Then I heard low murmurs for perhaps 15 minutes. They returned to the sun room where I was sitting listening to Christmas music, musing about this unexpected turn of events and spinning out scenarios for a father and his son. "I'm leaving now, Evan," Kenny said, coming over and pulling me up into a tight hug. "We'll be seeing more of each other now. I'm glad." "Hey Kenny," I started, "do you remember how you and Jeremy were sitting on the floor in here when you came back from Jeremy's bedroom the last time you were here?" "Yeah." "Would you sketch that for me?" He smiled in delight. "Yeah, glad to. Course, Jeremy and I may have to pose again so that I can get it all right." "Then I'll expect it as a gift next Christmas." "Huh?" "You two randy cubs may start out posing," I explained, grinning archly, "but I know how it will always end up." Kenny laughed. Jeremy came over, pulling Kenny into a hot kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow, Love." Kenny departed. Jeremy turned to me, smiling. He walked over, pulling me into a hug. "An amazing Christmas. I'm put out of my natural home again. But I find a new father. Thank you, Evan. And thank you for my Christmas presents. I'm starved. I haven't had much to eat today with all the hubbub." "Neither have I. Let's take care of that," I said, grabbing my crutches but walking to the kitchen. "Hey," exclaimed. "You're walking." "Yeah, after my next visit to Dr. Sorenson, I'll be liberated from these crutches." We prepared soup and sandwiches, sitting at the kitchen table visiting about putting the process in motion for his applying to study at State U. After our meal, we put the dishes in the dishwasher and retreated to the sun room. "Evan, sit on the sofa, please, and hold me." "Happy too." Jeremy chose a Christmas CD and started it. When he approached me, I held out my arms as he sat between my legs and leaned back against me. We listened to the music quietly, occasionally caressing the other. "You know, Evan, this has never happened to me in my entire life. My father never held me like this, nor my mother. I feel so safe, protected, valued. How powerful you must feel to provide that to someone." "Actually, I'm feeling something similar. I've never held a son before, never expected to - although I always wanted to. I can't tell you how fulfilled and contented I feel now. So you better be feeling powerful too." "Oh," he suddenly exclaimed, sliding out of my embrace. "Be right back." He hustled to his bedroom, returning with a Christmas gift. "This is for you." I smiled at him as I took the gift and opened it. Inside I found a charcoal sweat suit and thick wool socks. I grinned at him. "You've been observant. Thank you, Jeremy. You know how I love to wear sweat suits and lumberjack socks at home." "I tried to get the lumberjack. Actually, I was into my fifth interview, but I couldn't get them to keep their hands off me. I decided I didn't want them competing with me for your attention, so I dismissed them." I laughed. He leaned down and scooped me into his arms, carrying me into my bedroom. He was like Cody - wordless in his approach to making love - as though language were superfluous given our closeness. He began to pull off my socks, sweat suit, and briefs. Well on the way to arousal, I watched as he removed his clothes. Then he reclined beside me, kissing me passionately. When he broke the kiss, he looked into my eyes. "Evan, I'm so happy. It's like I've awakened from a bad dream. Claim me, Evan. Make me feel as though I belong to you. Bust my cherry, Evan. Let me join the men you've claimed - Cody and Troy, Kenny and Robert." "You know?" I asked incredulously. "Evan, don't you know how proud they are to be claimed by you? Didn't both Cody and Troy tell you that's what they wanted. In fact, we chuckle about how they had to almost force you to take them. Having succeeded, do you think they'd keep quiet about that among their buddies who share the same feelings about you? Didn't you wonder why Troy came right over after you took Cody, insisting that you take him too?" "Cut it out, Jeremy. I'm no movie star that gets someone all hot and bothered," I replied, thinking of Alan Frazier. "No, you're no movie star. You're better. You have depth, character, sincerity. You're solid, real. You didn't have the fun of creating the biological Jeremy. But you can have the fun of re-creating Jeremy into your son. Demonstrate your love for your son, Evan." "What about Kenny?" I said, looking at him. "I asked him to give us this time together this evening so that you could fuck me, take my cherry. But I have to warn you, that little horndog expects you to join us the next time he comes over. He made me promise that we both would fuck him. He's happy, Evan. We'll both belong to you." Saying nothing more, I reached up and pulled his head down to me, kissing him several times, each time more insistently. He moaned softly. I rolled him over, looking into his eyes. Then I started kissing his cheeks, feeling the rasp of his light whiskers, which caused goose bumps to appear on my skin. I moved down to his throat. He started to caress me. I gently pushed his hands aside, arising and hobbling a little over to my closet, where I grabbed a couple of belts. His eyes never wavered when I returned to the bed with the belts, so great was his trust of me. I looped a belt around his hands and secured it by pushing the tongue beneath the wrapped leather. I pushed his hands above his head. "To be claimed, you must keep your hands up there, totally at my mercy." He just nodded his head yes. I moved down to his chocolate nipples, resting just fractions of an inch above them as my warm breath flowed out over them. I started with the tiniest licks, then allowed my warm breath to flow out over his wet-sensitive nipples. Eventually, I used my lips to suck gently on them. Gradually, I increased my sucking until I was pulling them up from the muscle beneath. His legs, between which I lay, were quivering ever so slightly. I started kissing, exerting slight suction, from his pecs down his dark brown treasure trail to his profuse pubic hair. Man! I loved his smell. It made my cock even harder. Back up to his pecs licking my way down. Back up again nibbling my way down. Little noises, not quite whimpers yet, were making their way out of him. I could tell he wanted to use his hands, and his ass was wiggling on the bed. Dick drool was oozing out of the slit in the bell-shaped head of his hard seven-inch cock. I was being careful to concentrate on just one area at a time and to keep it entirely oral at this point. I moved down to his legs, kissing, then licking, then nibbling my way up those long, shapely legs right up to just under his balls. My arousal was ramping up. His ass was wiggling big time, and a chorus of whimpers was playing to my ears. I moved back up to kiss his warm lips, but this time I brought my hand into play on his nipples. Eventually, I broke the kiss and moved down to his pecs where I repeated the kissing, licking, and nibbling, but my hand preceded me with feathery caresses to the area just below - his stomach, his balls, his cock, his inner thighs. I sat up, moving up to his crotch. I started licking his cock as I circled the outer edges of his kneecaps with my finger tips. Man! Did that ever set him off. As I sucked on that wonderfully flared head of his cock, I stroked his inner thighs with just the finger nails one hand while my other hand tweaked his nipples. Even though he kept his hands above his head, he couldn't keep them still. It was torture for him not to be able to use them to caress me. Then I deep-throated him, making him shoot his ass up off the bed. I used my hand to pull on his pubic hair - not gently but not painfully either, just a nice counterpoint to my oral ministrations. I was excited - showing Jeremy how much I loved him. This was sex at its best - not the end but the means to the end of giving another the utmost in pleasure, but not pleasure for its own sake, pleasure as a bond between two loving people. I moved down to his balls, laving them with my spit. Then I pushed his legs up, exposing his pucker. My nostrils flared as his man scent filled them. I leaned down, licking around it and occasionally over it while continuing to caress his legs with one hand and his nipples, cock or balls with the other. I was hearing a fairly constant moan. Then I pushed my tongue into his ass lips, evoking a squeal from him. "Please, Evan." I looked up at him, noticing his cock gleaming with cock honey. "Please get me off. I can't stand it." I leaned down to him, kissed him lightly. "No, my Son, you are not claimed so easily or quickly. I'm going to blow your circuits with pleasure to show you how vast my love for you is, to claim you beyond question or measure. You will know you are mine when you cum, for you will exclaim it without my asking." I straightened, reaching for the lube in the nightstand drawer. I placed a small blob on my hand, beginning to circle his hole with it. I spread it widely to increase the feeling of skin sliding over skin when we reached that point in our love-making. I began pushing the tip of a finger against his hole while I whispered, "I love you, Jeremy. I claim you. You belong to me." Then I slipped my finger just inside his muscle ring while I used the fingers on my other hand to circle on the lube around his hole. I pushed one finger slowly into him, as I softly whispered that he was loved, that I claimed him, that he was mine. Man, was that ass switching across the sheets! He was turned on, but he didn't imagine how turned on he was going to be when I was done. I removed my fingers, causing him to whimper in protest, his eyes tightly closed. I lubed my fingers, sliding two more into him while I started nibbling on his inner thighs. On the first nibble, his ass shot up from the bed, almost pulling off my fingers. I nibbled up his thighs and chowed down on his balls while I pushed three fingers into him. "Oh," he exclaimed, not in protest but in pleasure. Raising my head a little, I said, "Now, my Son, tell me how much you love me, how much you belong to me, how much you are mine," as I started sucking hard on his cock while fucking him with three fingers. He barked first in exclamation. Then he spoke breathily, "Oh Evan, oh, oh, oh - Evan, I love you . . . I don't know . . . how many times . . . Oh! . . . I boned up over you in class . . . dreaming of this." He was panting now. I arose, smoothing lube on my cock. I moved it against his hole, putting pressure on it but not pushing in yet, tweaking his nipples with my other hand. "Yes?" I asked. "Please, Evan, please, push it in. Fuck me, Evan. Make me yours. . . . I was so jealous of Robert and Kenny, and then Cody . . . then Troy. I wanted you to want me." At his last sentence, I pushed slowly inside his muscle ring. Brief gibberish shot from his mouth when I breached his hole. "Now you feel how much I want you," I stated as I began sliding just my dick head in and out of his hole. He tried tightening his ring to hold me in, but he succeeded only in my dick's caressing his ass lips. I spotted little beads of perspiration on his upper lip. Moaning, he pleaded, "Evan . . . Evan . . . please . . . give me your cock . . . all of it. Please," he panted. I smiled. I began to push in an inch, then out an inch, and in and out, slowly moving inside. He was panting and moaning now as his ass muscles rippled spasmodically on my dick. "Oh . . . oh . . . ye-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-s," he hissed as I hit bottom. I just lay there, making the smallest of circles with the base of my dick against his ass lips. I was licking and nibbling on his stomach while my other hand played with his balls. He moaned loudly in protest. "Fuck me, Evan. You're tormenting me. Fuck me." No, my love, I'm claiming you, re-creating you as my son. Everyone's born through torment. Do you want me to stop?" Jeremy pulled in a loud breath, waited a few seconds, and then breathed out a "No-o-o-o-o." Now I speeded up, long-dicking him, making certain that my angle of entry allowed my cock to pass over his prostate. I nearly giggled, for his ass muscles were spasming against my cock. His balls were drawing up. When they nearly reached the top, I stopped pumping, using both my hands to tweak his nipples and pull on his scrotum and stroke his cock until he came down a little. He was huffing and puffing as though he had run a mile. I started small pumps again, while I spread lube under his cock on his lower stomach, on his balls, on my lower stomach. Then I pushed my stomach against his cock while I leaned down onto his pecs and ate his nipples, capturing his dick between us. "Oh . . . Evan . . . I can't . . . stand it! Please . . . get . . . me . . . off!" I grinned. "I haven't heard the magic words yet. To whom do you belong? Even he grinned. He shouted, "I belong . . . to Evan Halsey . . . my father . . . I love him . . . I belong to him. . . . He loves me. . . . He claimed me!" I began to pound my dick into him with each exclamation. I was surprised to see drops of sweat drop from my forehead onto his stomach, and I could feel drops of perspiration in my chest hair. Jeremy was pushing his ass against my cock and against my lower stomach and tightening his ass muscles along my cock. We were both panting. I could feel the hair on my shoulders and back begin to stand up. The tickling and tingling in and behind my cock and in my balls was growing. "Now, Son, now Jeremy. CUM!" I shouted as I began pumping into him. Simultaneously, cum shot out of his cock, making the space between his stomach and mine squishy. We kept pumping and pumping long after there was anything left to pump. Finally, we stopped, panting. I reached up, loosening the belt around his hands. "You are mine, Jeremy. My Son. I've re-created you as you asked. I've taken your cherry in grand style! I love you," upon which I kissed him hard and deeply. He returned it, clasping his arms and legs tightly about me. "Oh Dad . . . Dad . . . this was wonderful. I never knew . . . . I love you, Dad. I'm so happy!" (To be continued.)