Date: Wed, 29 Jul 2020 22:23:33 -0400 From: Frank Kalau Subject: Barriers 7 The week went on as normal. Jon would wake me up, we would walk to the front of the school and split off only to meet between first and second period. I would become a bit more bold, willing to hold his hand and return his kisses before we split up. When I returned his kiss, he would skip away like an idiot and all I could do what shake my head. Jenna visited once, she claimed she was too busy at work but I didn't care enough to verify the claim. Jon kept me busy anyways. I did miss my drinking buddy but at this point in the week I was on beers so it's not like I had much to keep me buzzed anyways. The weekend came and Jon didn't wake me up as he did the rest of the week and I found myself alone at about 8:00. I decided I wanted some bacon so I took a quick drive to the deli. By the time I came back an unexpected visitor was sitting on my steps hitting his vape. "Morning!" Wilker waved to me as I drove up to my driveway. I noticed a bunch bags on my steps as I got out of my car. "Ready for lunch?" "What's all this?" The combination of my hangover and my disdain for human interaction made me dread what I was about to hear. "I'm here to cook lunch for you and Johnny!" Wilker beamed at an inflection that was way too pure to be anywhere near me. At this point I noticed the three bags of groceries that surely wasn't one whole meal and shook my head. "I'm not doing this." I walked past him and went for the door. "Jon can't just make plans like this without telling me. You two can fuck off." "I've always wanted to cook in a kitchen like yours. My apartment over by the mall is small as shit." He looked pretty dejected as he talked. "I'm sorry, Johnny put the idea in my head and I got so excited to cook I planned it all out without asking you." Here was another of Jon's hairbrained schemes. Of course, he didn't ask me, he just assumed as long as I got a meal and some dick out of it, I would go along with it. Now here I was with Wilker, looking all innocent and sorry. I assumed Wilker was as rich as me and Jon. He was so excited when he looked at my kitchen earlier in the week. I took a heavy sigh and looked at the bags as I walked up and opened the door, telling him to come along. Wilker rummaged through my cabinets and keep getting excited at finding every cooking utensil he was looking for. I sat at my table as he ran around organizing everything and prepping all his stations. He pulled out some salmon and started cleaning it as I heard the door open. I knew asshole had let himself in like he had every other day this week. "We need to fucking talk." As soon as Jon came through the hallway, I pushed him out of the dining room into the living room. Wilker whistled knowing that Jon was in trouble and went back to his fish. "What the actual fuck is wrong with you? You're lucky Wilker was so upset I couldn't say no to him." I poked the middle of his chest to make my point clear. "Do. Not. Make. Plans. Without. Telling. Me." "I'm sorry I'm sorry." Jon said with a mixture of laughter and empathy. "I thought I told you about how Kenny fell in love with your Kitchen and said it was a waste that nobody ever cooked in it." "You just wanted a fucking meal out of it you asshole." I narrowed my eyes as I kept jabbing him with my index finger. This is what I was afraid of, Jon just using people to do whatever he wanted. "How can you use your best friend like that?" "Woah, I paid for everything. Calm down." He put his hands up in surrender. "I just thought... " "I didn't even know Wilker lived by the mall until today. How the fuck was I going to tell him that he can't cook in my house? You are such a fucking asshole you know what?" Everyone knew if you lived in the apartment complexes by the mall you weren't exactly from money. It definitely added to my sympathy. He grabbed me and kissed my cheek. "I knew you weren't a bad guy." I struggled to be released from his claws. "See, Kenny's cooking for us and he's on top of the world." He walked us back into the dining room knowing he won the argument. "Thank you." He sang as we struggled back. "Jon he's right. You're an asshole. How did you not tell him?" Wilker was finished with the fish and cutting up some veggies. "What if he said no?" "I knew he wouldn't. Give me my card back." He said leaving me at the table and going for Wilker's back pocket. He grabbed a dark blue card out of Wilker's wallet and put it behind his phone. "What did this run you anyways?" "Like Sixty." Wilker said as he expertly chopped garlic and pushed it to the side. "The salmon was on sale so I decided to go with that. You guys are in for a treat." That same excitement from this morning came back and it was endearing to say the least. "Good man." Jon walked over to my liquor cabinet and took a Beer out. "You want one babe?" "It's not even noon yet." Even I had limits on my drinking and here Jon was breaking his diet at 10:00. "Don't you have conditioning to worry about?" "Johnny can drink the night before a game and still play better than most of the team." Wilker was figuring out how he wanted to use my stove. The number of burners he had access to was overwhelming him with joy. "I wouldn't worry about his diet, he mostly does it because I have such a shit metabolism and he feels bad." "You want one or nah?" Jon opened his bottle and took a quick drink. "Yeah sure. I'm going outside I haven't smoked yet." I looked for my pack in my hoodie and lit one of the burners to light a smoke, much to Wilker's horror. Jon met me in the backyard with the beer and we took a seat by the patio. It was a fairly chilly day out so I had him come cuddle with me as we both fit under his varsity jacket. "Thank you again babe." He nuzzled me on the right as the smoke was in my left hand. "Kenny's really happy because of you. He's like a kid in the candy store." "You're too much you know that?" I rested my head against his. He had gotten used to me smelling like smoke and I made a conscious effort to keep it away from him. It was a happy medium that worked for now. "I thought I told you. I swear." He said with sincerity. "I'm very sorry and I'll double check next time" "Whatever." I looked at my closed down pool and pool house. I think my mother had one party here since we moved. What a shame. "You're lucky I can't say no to that big oaf when he gets all dejected." "Yes babe. I know." He purred into my ear. "I'll make up for it later don't worry." "When do you have to go to work?" "Probably like three." He said detaching from me. "Give my mom the night off so she can watch her soaps." "Always the thoughtful son." I cracked as I got up and walked to the ashtray. Suddenly a huge flame appeared out of my kitchen window shocking me. "What the FUCK?" "Yeah man Kenny can cook." Jon nonchalantly rattled off as he looked at his phone and sipped his beer. "Probably doing something with the wine in your cabinet." I shook my head as I decided to go into my living room and watch some tv. I walked back into my kitchen to the smell of garlic and rosemary. Wilker had the salmon going into the oven and he was cooking some mushrooms and string beans in separate pans. He expertly moved to a sauce pan and gave it a quick taste before adding some pepper to it. He was in a groove and loving every second of it. The TV ended up having nothing of value so we watched Wilker move back and forth. I threw on some music and it was a good time. "Alright gents. Here's a pan seared salmon with some Shitake mushrooms cooked in red wine. Some garlic string beans and last but not least my mother's famous cheddar garlic smashed taters." Wilker brought the plates to the table like a waiter and bowed before his creation. "Ima go clean up then eat out on your porch to leave you two to it." He zipped out of the room and went straight to work cleaning the pans he had used. "You have to try the smashed, they're insane." Jon said diving in immediately. "Oh yeah, Kenny you outdid yourself this time. Extra pepper, just the way I love it." Wilker waved from the kitchen as he cleaned. I just sat there with my food in front of me for a minute while I watched Jon eat. He had to of skipped breakfast with how fast he was eating. If you had told me that this would be my life last year, I would have laughed my ass at you. I had my boyfriend in front of me shoving his face with some food his best friend made and I wasn't freaking out about anything. How long could this possible last before I got tired of it? "I don't know babe. I keep telling you to not think about these things and just let it happen." He said between bites. "Jon what have I told you about reading my mind." My eyes narrowed at him. "He can do that shit with you too?" Wilker shouted from the other side of the house. "I told you Johnny. It's fucking creepy." "I hear it and I forget sometimes I'm sorry." He was already done with two of the sides and half of his fillet. "Man, Kenny this is UNREAL." I sighed and dove into my meal. It was every bit as good as Jon said it would be. The beans were my favorite because they were crisp but there was so much garlic on them it masked any kind of bean flavor. By the time we finished Wilker was out on my porch enjoying the mid-day sun eating out of a container. "Come on that was fucking amazing, you have to admit." Jon said as he picked up my plate to wash. "The issue wasn't with him cooking Jon. It was with me not knowing about it and almost making him cry because you said nothing." "It won't happen again I promise." He scraped the plate off into the trash before a quick rinse. "You really made his day you know. He has to go pick up his mom from the hospital after this." "What?" I stood up shocked. "Is she ok?" "They're not sure." He looked out at Wilker basking in the daylight. "She has cancer and they don't think she'll pull through. His dad is working two jobs right now to keep them afloat. All he really has is basketball and if we don't do well this season, he can't afford college." My heart jumped out of my chest and my head pulsed the same. You would never think someone like Wilker would come from such a shit situation. I thought about how I was so mean to him for no reason and I felt sick. "Why are you telling me this?" I said dazed. "I just thought you should know how much something like cooking a meal in a house like this with his friends means to him." He had tears forming in his eyes as he came over to me. "Thank you for not turning him away. He's my brother and I don't get to see him like this very often." With that he hugged me and wiped his eyes. "Jon you need to stop with the fucking surprises." I didn't feel right being angry but it was the only reaction I had. "You didn't need to tell me about Wilker's parents. Now I'm not going to be able to look at him the same." "Look at who the same?" Wilker came in from the backyard surprising both of us. "You. You're a crazy ass chef too man? You're too smart to be Johnny's best friend" I quickly pulled out of my head. "Hey!" Jon shouted pulling off of me. "Aw Johnny is smarter than me in other ways. We just work really well together." He blushed at the compliment and scratched his head through his snapback. "Anyways gents, ima let you two do the deed. My mom's going to love this salmon." I noticed he had barely touched his meal and it dawned on me who it was actually for. "Thanks again Jason, if you ever want me to cook for your parents let me know." When the door slammed, I pushed Jon one more time. "You FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER. Do not EVER put me in a position like that EVER AGAIN." I was furious. "You are actually so fucking great." He snickered as he walked towards the basement. "I thought for sure he heard you." "Why is everything a joke to you Jon?" "This isn't. He wouldn't care even if he realized I told you. We don't keep secrets." He jumped on my bed. "Can you think about how I feel for like five seconds? I'm not exactly the most stable person if you'll remember. Now I have to think about this and Jenna every time I see him." "You didn't tell me what was up with Jenna." He cocked his eyebrow as he posed seductively on my bed. "Ah in for a penny in for a pound, I guess. Wilker's in love with her." I threw my hands up in the air and walked over to the bed. "Oh, I knew that. I thought they like had a tense moment or something." "But Karen..." "I'm telling you we have no secrets between us. I know he's joking. My sister is so socially awkward she gets mistaken for having autism unironically. Her and Kenny wouldn't last on a date let alone a relationship. It's just terrible to think about." He shuddered. "Whatever, everything is fucking awful and dating you has been nothing but drama." I got on the bed and laid down next to him. "But it's been worth it no?" He laid his arm around me and walked his fingers down my shoulder. "Debatable." I rolled my eyes away from him. "Ok time to change that." He straddled me and cocked his eyebrow. "I forgot I haven't gotten you off in like three days." "Yeah you're really slacking." At this point when Jon gets like this, I've learned to enjoy it. On Wednesday he got a bit too close to penetrating my ass and he stopped immediately when I got mad. He's always been respectful so I've come to relax when we have fun. He dug his ass into my dick and gyrated his hips trying to get me to react. He knew he was winning when he felt a poke. "You going to remove my clothes or what?" "You're an asshole today you know that?" He brought his face to mine and grinded our noses. "Maybe I won't get you off." "Then get out." I twisted my head towards the door. I wasn't about Jon's attitude today. "You're lucky you're sexy." He said before he split my mouth with his tongue and pressed down on my raging hardon once again pulling a groan out of me. "You also taste so fucking good." "Get down there already." I shoved his head down to my crotch and he took my pants with him. All that was between his face and my erection was a thin grey layer of boxer briefs. He mouthed my crotched making it nice and wet. Fuck Jon knew how to push my buttons. I pushed him down onto my hardon and he gnawed on me with his teeth. "You son of a bitch." I moaned as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. "And you think I can't be rough." He winked as he removed any fabric between him and my crotch. "Shut the fuck up and suck it." "Don't need to tell me twice." He lightly scraped the skin below my head on his way down stopping halfway. This stupid lion loved playing with his food and he was good at it. He used the flat of his tongue to lap up my precum that came out. "You're so fucking sweet I love it." All I could mutter at this point was a bunch of groans. Jon played with my balls in the perfect way to make my toes curl. He slowly worked my dick down, jolting me with his teeth just enough to annoy me. After what felt like an hour of sucking, he growled with my entire dick in my mouth. My hips bucked forward as I screamed my orgasm out. He happily drank up every drop and crawled up to me after my release. "Thanks." My breathing was still heavy and I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes as I caught up. "Thanks for being so great to Kenny." He put his head on my pec like I normally did to him. "I knew you were a great guy after our first date. You make me so much happier than before." "Stop being so emo." I brushed his hair trying to avoid another sentimental moment between us. "Just tell me next time so I don't have to make up shit on the fly." "Yes Babe." He nuzzled into me. Jon's duality was quite the eye opener. Everyone knew him as this sex chasing fiend but since we started dating, he's been nothing but thoughtful and caring. Even when he's teasing me, he's clearly doing it out of love rather than trying to get a rise out of me. "You really are everything I've been looking for you know." "Stop ruining the moment." I pat him on the head. "You have to go soon no?" "Yeah in like ten minutes. This is nice though." We laid there enjoying the remainder of the afterglow before Jon hopped up and used his travel toothbrush to clean his mouth. With a quick kiss and more words of appreciation he was gone and I was back to watching some terrible romantic comedy on Netflix. After a couple of episodes of this terrible show I decided to see what my female friend was up to. "Hi bitch." Jenna sounded like she was outside. "What are you up to?" "Just got out of work. Probably going to a party tonight." "With Houston?" "Yeah. We talked on Friday." "You don't know what you're getting yourself into." I warned her firmly. "He has this way of subverting standards." "Look, if you can date that manwhore of yours then I can date Mark." "You know these things aren't comparable." "Really? How? They made some dumb mistakes and are working past them." "You're telling me that sleeping with that dumb slut Veronica Lopez is the same as outing me to an entire school?" "I'm saying he's fucking sorry." "He has proven twice now that he's not actually sorry and just wants to have it all. Do I need to remind you of Monday?" "It's like you aren't listening to me. We have to agree to disagree here. I'm going out with him tonight so I'll see you when I see you." She finished her statement in an ominous tone. "Ok enjoy." I hung up immediately. At least I confirmed my suspicions. I couldn't believe how she was ignoring me. Despite our years apart I still knew Houston and it was infuriating that he was taking another part of my life away. I couldn't talk to Jon about this and I definitely didn't want to bother Wilker so there was only one more person to call. "Jace!" Uncle Calvin sounded chipper as usual. "How goes things with the boy?" "Pretty good Uncle that's not why I'm calling though." "Are you mad about Melvin? Look I know my brothers a fucking sociopath but... " "No Uncle not him either." "Oh, then what is it sport?" "You remember Jenna, right?" "That dime that cleans out your cabinet. How is the girl?" "She's dating Houston." I trailed off coaxing a response "Jace you know what I've told you about all of this." "Uncle... " "No Jace he was scared and you put him in a spot. You're my nephew and I love you but you can't expect him to react perfectly to such a revelation when you're that young." "Oh bullshit. Ya think I wanted to be in love with him? Ya think I wanted to be all shitheaded when I was around the fucking wanker?" My uncle always draws the inner Scotsman out of me. "Look you avoided this for years Jace. It's time to own up to the fact that you also made a mistake and move past it. It was a near decade ago for crying out loud." "He could have defended me. He couldn't of not went around and told every fucking person I love dick." "And you could have toughened up and fought back. He couldn't fight your battles for you forever you know." "So, what do I just forgive him and we all live happily ever after?" "Yes Jace. You all grew as people and you need to learn how to forgive..." "Uncle..." "No Jace. I'm doing what my shithead of a brother should have done years ago. You are legally an adult. Start acting like it. She's your best friend. If you don't want to lose her be the better person." "Uncle why do I always have to be the better person?" "When was the last time..." "Literally today when I let my poor friend into my home unannounced." "Jace you just called him your POOR friend." He said incredulously. "You know what I mean." "I know you mean to be a stupid cunt yes." "Whatever. I just miss my best friend." "You have all the tools to get her back but god forbid you do the emotional labor." "I don't even know why I called you." "Jace, walk through this with me. You called me with a problem that was solved through hard work but you don't want to do the hard work. Like this is a slam dunk if he still hates you but I doubt that's the case if you're calling me about it." "How do you figure?" "Well if Mark hated you, either Jenna wouldn't talk to you at all or she wouldn't have jumped his bones." I hate when he's right. "Ok sure." "Then have the fucking conversation already and get it over with you stupid goblin." I sighed deep. Calvin pretty much hit the nail in the head here and I wasn't about to lie and tell him to fuck off. "Ok uncle. I'll try." "That's all she wants bucko. I promise if you try, she will come back." "I'm going to go. Thank you." "Oh, also I'm visiting in three weeks. I have to size up this Jack fellow." "Uncle it's Jonathan and no you don't." "Yes, I do. Just because my brothers fucked off to Texas till November doesn't mean you get to date someone without the good old family trial." "Uncle..." "Jace, I have to burn my vacation time anyways. Can't take a damn week off when you're here so I'm doing so now. This is far more entertaining than any trip I could make." It made sense my gay uncle wanted to shake hands with my now boyfriend. Calvin was always very protective of me. I brought a boy home from the club a year back and my uncle scared the poor guy so hard he ran screaming into the night. There was also no arguing as I'm sure the plane ticket was already booked. "Whatever. Is your husband coming like last time?" "No, we have the dogs now and he can't bear to leave them in a Kennel." I could hear the annoyance in my uncle's voice. "He'll be staying here." "Ok so I'll see you at the end of the month?" "The 30th exactly. Make sure Jeremy has gotten his affairs in order before then." "Very funny uncle." I rolled my eyes; I was over telling them the actual name of my boyfriend since they forgot in ten seconds anyways. "I'm hanging up." "Handle that mess with Mark before I come. I want to be able to watch up with the boy without getting the look of death from you." "Yes Uncle. Of Course, Uncle." I lied. I had no intention of following his advice. For now, at least. He was right I couldn't handle the emotional labor. "I'm going to go now. Thank you for listening to me." "Any time leads. Get on it!" He sounded way too enthusiastic. I stared at the ceiling for about fifteen minutes while all the thoughts raced around in my head. It's not like I could just go to bed as it wasn't even 5. Jon may have been busy at the restaurant but I still wanted to see him and get his thoughts on everything. I shot him a text telling him to spend the night and once we got past the innuendo, he told me he would be out of there by twelve. Problem being of course I needed to find a way to kill seven hours. I shrugged and decided to hop in my car for the first time in nearly a week and drive around with no destination. Astrin really was quite the thriving suburb in the middle of bumblefuck Pennsylvania. The mall was the main source of income for the town driving business from all parts of the state into our little old town. Any casual convivence you could possibly want was located in the shopping district. I decided to stop by the local drive-thru coffee place and pick up something for what I'm sure was going to be a long night ahead of me. I parked the car and give a lot of thought to how fast everything was going. I had effectively lost my best friend to my worst enemy and My boyfriend was shoehorning me into his life in the fastest way possible It all felt like it was out of my control. I had told myself when I started high school that I would always be in control of my life and yet here. Something needed to change and I wasn't sure what it was yet. Was it seriously time to forgive Houston? Did I need to slow down with Jon? Was this the point where me and Jenna finally break off and go our own ways? I hate when my brain gets like this. You get frustrated at the first problem so you move on to the next one and that one sucks just as much so you're in this vortex of anger and depression and you just want a way out. The liquor had been why I was able to ignore this for so long but now I felt too exhausted to even drink. As the sun went down, I decided doing all this thinking to myself wasn't getting anywhere and went back on my aimless quest. I drove by the complex that Ken lived in. I couldn't help but think about how he took care of his mother on top of everything. He was actually down and out on his life but was still trying to make the most of it. It made me feel infinitely inferior considering I was hung up on some bullshit high school drama. I turned onto an all too familiar street, looked around for a stupid white civic and when it wasn't in plain sight, I parked my car in the driveway and walked my way up the Houston residence. They had gotten a new paint job since the last time I had seen the house and I couldn't help but notice the FOR-SALE sign in front of it. I knocked on the door and hoped that I had made the right decision. "Coming!" I sighed in relief knowing the matriarch would eventually meet me at the door. "I'm sorry. I'm cooking some deserts for the bake sale this week and you just get lost in it all thanks for coming by to view..." Martha clearly was expecting someone else and didn't expect little old me to show up at her door on a Sunday night. A quick full smile enveloped her face as she processed what was going on. "Jason! It's so good to see you! Come in. Come in. Let me reheat you tonight's dinner. I know your mom is out of town." "Mrs. Houston you really don't need to." I said as she dragged me into the dining room like always does when I come over. "I wouldn't be able to look your mother in the face if I told her you made your way over and I didn't feel you." She put me at the head of the table and walked right over to the fridge to pull out the remainder of what the Houston Household had for dinner. "You have such great timing Jason! I made pot roast and those potatoes with the gravy you loved so much as a kid! I guess I was just thinking about you." Before I knew it, I had a glass of sweet tea and a full meal made by Mama Houston in front of me. "Thank you, Mrs. H." I stammered still unsure why I made my way over here and I could assure you it wasn't for another free meal. "I'm so happy that you and Mark have made up!" She sat down and paid all her attention to me. "When he told me, you agreed to have a party over here I was so happy. Right before we left for the weekend to view the new place too!" "I hate to break it to you Mrs. H but we didn't exactly make up." I felt pretty guilty telling her the truth despite it being her stupid son lying to her. "He kind of just expected me to go along with it." "That boy." She lightly smacked the table before palming her forehead. "I am so sorry you had to come over and tell me that. I swear Jason I can't apologize enough for his behavior even now. I just don't know what gets into that boy." "You and me both." I said as I proceeded to start eating the food in front of me. "You didn't need to come all the way over here to tell me that you know. You could have just called me." "I didn't come over to tell you that actually." "Well it's good to see you nonetheless." She said with sincerity. "I can't believe you're eighteen already. Time sure does fly." "Thank you so much for the food by the way." I replied unsure how to respond. I very much enjoyed Martha's cooking. Ken's meal earlier was great but this had some real sentimental value to it. It was like I could taste how I felt right before everything went to shit. "Oh course, any time! Now what did Mark do?" "I mean he didn't really do anything. His new girlfriend is...I guess was my best friend." "Oh, is that all?" She got up from the table. "Well then why are you here?" "To be honest...I'm not sure." I admitted as I ate more. "I guess I wanted to thank you for the present more than anything and I enjoyed talking to you and catching up." "Well as you heard me before, we're selling the place and moving into the city now that Mark is off to college next year. People were supposed to come see the house tonight but I'll tell them to find their way without me now that you're here." "Mrs. H you don't have to." "Yes, I do. Especially now that I know that I sent Mark over with that fucking card thinking you two made up. Oh, sorry Jason I didn't mean to curse." "I think I said worse to you when I was ten." "Yeah you two were always such a handful." She laughed as she picked up my glass to refill it. "Mark told me that you were dating someone. I'd never thought I'd see the day." "Nobody did." I stirred my food while the rush of thoughts about Jon came back. "I'm still surprised myself." "Sweetie. You are still on about this? You're good enough. It doesn't matter if you like guys, you found one that likes you when you're so young just enjoy it." She put the refilled glass down on the table. "I met Mark's father when I was Twenty-Nine and believe me, I had many boyfriends before that." "I just don't even know if I like him because he's giving me attention or if I actually want something with him. I said surprising myself. "There's no difference when you're this young." She laughed as she sat down and lit a cigarette. "I'd be surprised if you lasted until the school year ended." "Mrs. Houston!" I exclaimed at everything she had just done in front of me. "Oh sweetie, I know you smoke and I have over thirty years of experience over you. None of this should shock you. Anyways," She rolled her eyes to get back to the topic at hand. "This isn't some complicated love triangle and Mark is now gay right?" "I can promise you that ship sailed a million years ago." Like Houston looked good but he actually has worms for brains and I could never stand to be with him after everything we've been though. "I suppose so. I'll stop guessing. Please continue." "I'm just lost about a lot of stuff right now and nobody seems to want to listen and they all want to tell me what to do." "I see." She leaned back and shot me a grin and she asked her cigarette. "What?" "You decided to come to me for all of this. You needed a mom's advice over your little heart and you came to me." "I guess I did...It's not like my own mother..." I really didn't want to finish this statement so I hoped Martha would jump in. "Ah yes, Beth Andrews. You know when we were kids, she was just like you. High strong, needed to be in control of everything and bitchy to all hell. She does well as a lawyer...as a mother...well let's just say I'm glad I'm around for you." She smiled slyly before taking another drag. "Wait you guys have known each other since you were our age?" "I guess you wouldn't know unless I told you. Your mother got both into that pre-school you and Mark attended and that's how you two became close. You were in each other's lives since minute one. It's such a shame everything turned out the way it did. I'm getting off topic though. I'm all ears please continue." "I hate when I don't have control over everything. I'm constantly tired and it feels like I have to work so hard for everything when it comes so naturally to everyone else." "What does?" "The social aptitude. The ability to like someone and not feel a complete burden. Having a drive and a passion in life and something to work towards. It all seems so bleak and pointless. It seems like everyone has an idea of how they want things to go and here I am a loser with every opportunity and not a single way to take advantage." I was ready to cry at this point. It was so hard for me to admit everything I hated about myself so much. Putting out in the open like that just brought me down further. "Sweetie, you're young. I promise you half of the people in that school will change their Major a year into college." "It's not that. It's to have the drive, the purpose. It's to feel like waking up is worth it. I just exist and I don't know how to live." "Well, what does make you happy?" "Don't make me say it..." "I don't think the Liquor makes you happy Jason. I think it makes you content. What actually makes you happy?" She took the plate from in front of me to clean. "I guess Music. Jon took me to a concert and I had the time of my life." "Have you ever thought about picking up an instrument? Maybe writing a song?" "I wouldn't be good at something like that Mrs. H. I'm not creative." "Oh nonsense. You actually have a way with words when they come from your heart. Have some confidence. Do you want dessert?" "No thank you. I think I should leave anyways. You've been too kind as it is. Thank you again for the birthday present and the meal." "I'm going to make sure Mark doesn't see the light of day when he gets home tonight." She wiped her hands as she came over to me. "I can't believe he's still lying about you. I'm so sorry Jason. We tried so hard I still don't know where we went wrong." She hugged me at the door as she saw me off. "Just know I'm here for you at any time." "I'll keep that in mind." "You have time to figure it out Jason. We all have different paths in life. You need to enjoy it while you can. Promise me you'll enjoy whatever happens with whoever you're with as long as you're safe." "I promise we're being safe Mrs. H." I'm sure I was all kinds of red as I said this to my worst enemies' mother. "I'm going to go talk Mark's dad right now. I still can't believe it. Get home safe." She kissed my cheek and walked downstairs to Mr. H's den I assumed. As I walked down the steps of the Houston family's household, I couldn't help but feel sentimental. Despite what had gone down between Houston and I, I spent a lot of time here and it was sad a chapter of my life was officially closing with their moving although think I was just being sad over everything and anything as of late. It was a little after nine so I decided to head back home and lay down before Jon would come over. I heard an all too familiar growl and a nibble on my neck gently waking me up. "Ah you're awake." Jon was behind me and at his usual antics. "What time is it even?" I grumbled. "About one in the morning." He said laying on my shoulder. "How was work?" I rolled over into his embrace. It felt so good it had to be a crime. "It's over. That's all that matters." He pats the back of my head as I nuzzled into him. "What did you want to talk about?" "It's nothing, I was just being emotional and needed to see you." I lied, I didn't want to start an argument when I just woke up and he felt way too good to let go of. "Aww." He had a good amount of surprise in his voice. "This is my favorite Jason. All cute and cuddly." "Shut up and don't ruin the moment." "Yes babe." We laid like this for a long time, I don't remember ever feeling this good from just a simple touch from someone. Is that what love is like? "Eric wants me to drag you to the party tonight." "Oh?" Smith was a nice guy after our small confrontation on Monday, always nodding whenever we made eye contact. I guess it couldn't hurt to get out and actually see what people really thought about me. "So, do you want to go?" "Only if you want to." He moved his hands down to my back and brought me in closer. "I don't want to push you into anything." "I don't see why not?" I broke the hug off and got up to find something to wear. "Seriously?" He said incredulously. "Ley mr tell Kenny so he can DD." "Yeah sure. I need to have more fun with you. It's been nothing but blowjobs and fighting." I said thinking back to what Martha told me earlier as I went into my closet and looking for something to wear. I found my favorite black shirt and jeans to shake it up of course. "That's what I like to hear! Ken, get up we're going to smiths thing after all. Yeah, he's coming. You want me to DD? Ok fine don't remind me. I'll drive." "What did you do last time you got blasted?" I came out throwing on a hoodie and checking my cigarettes. "I cried about you." He deadpanned as he rubbed his hands against his face. "He's calling in that favor after the Veronica incident." "Oh, right you fucked her." I chuckled. "Jason." He started "We weren't together relaxing. I don't care." I said with sincerity. "Ok just know she means nothing to me and I'm in love with you." He came over to me to hug me. He didn't need to convince me so I was pretty confused. "You make me so much happier than anyone I've been with and I don't say it enough." He moved in for a kiss on the lips and I gleefully returned it. We waited on the steps for Ken to pull up in his beat-up Toyota. I never really caught on how different of a life he lived until today when the news was dropped on me. I mostly felt bad that I had him buy us lunch when I could have easily picked up the tab. I made a mental note to pay for everything I could from here on out for the guy. Looking at how Ken and Jon interacted always made me wonder how things would have turned out if Houston had acted positively when I came out. The way they trusted each other was something I was once too familiar with. "You ready to get smashed?" After Ken was done fucking around with Jon, he did what he always does and gave me a bear hug, squeezing the life out of me. "I hate you." I huffed after he finally let me go. "Come on I haven't had a drink all day let's go." I walked over to the backseat of Jon's car. "This is going to be great!" Ken followed suit and Jon shook his head and knew he was going to be the loser tonight. The party was in full bloom when we got there at One. This was pretty surprising but I guess everyone was going hard before sports started. As soon as we stepped into the house Smith was immediately on top of us. "Jason! You made it!" Smith was clearly a couple of drinks in and was way too happy to see me. "Jon convinced you!" "He didn't have to do much convincing." I replied honestly. "Well let's go then!" He picked up a bottle of Vodka and poured four shots immediately. "Woah there Eric, I can't drink tonight." Johnny stopped before Smith handed him the shot "Oh man. Johnny's playing DD. How badly do you owe nerdy over here?" Smith thumbed Ken as he insulted him. "None of your damn business. Maybe I don't want to drink tonight." Jon got defensive immediately I was surprised Smith talked about Ken that way. "Alright boys. I've had a terrible week, let's not make it worse." Ken stopped the argument cold. "Lemme find someone else for this free shot." Smith started looking around. "Nah I'll just double up. I need to catch up." I grabbed both of them and held them up. "Let's go." The eyes of every person around me went wide as they had no idea what I was capable of. A sinister grin took over Ken's face and joined me. "To a good fucking night ahead of us." I took both clean and looked over at Jon who had the dumbest grin on his face. "What?" He came up close and whispered in my ear. "Go crazy tonight. I want everyone to see you when you're loose." I felt blood rushing to my groin instantly and pushed him off. I needed to calm down so I decided I wanted a cigarette. Jon protested as I walked away from the group but I wasn't about to stand there with a boner. I found a chair out front and lit up. "Hey man. Can I buy one?" A 6-foot blonde white guy who was way too gone stumbled over to me. "I ran out an hour ago." I tossed him my pack with the lighter between the plastic and he unsurprisingly didn't catch it. After what seemed like an eternity, he handed me my pack back. "Thanks man you're a lifesaver. You're Jason, right?" "Yeah..." It was still strange being known school wide for dating the point guard. Literally everyone knew me now. "Do I know you?" "There you are!" Jon came over and Ken followed suit with two beers in his hand. "Why'd you run off?" He said ignoring the blonde guy next to me. "Because I wasn't about to have a boner in the middle of all those people you asshole." I smacked him as soon as he got close. "Joey!" Ken exclaimed as he made his way over to hand the beer to me. "You're already gone? Come on man you needed to just wait two hours. Jason, meet the last guy of the crew Joe Kimbal." I suddenly remembered his dumb comment in the group chat and my face soured. Jon must have read my thoughts because he turned me to him and put his sorriest face on to apologize for what the guys said last week. I rolled my eyes and flicked his nose to let him know it was fine. He responded by kissing me catching me by surprise. "I'm still not used to this." Joe Shook his head as he took another hit "Yeah yeah yeah let me be happy." Jon told him off "Alright boys. My beers empty you know what that means. Joey you're getting in on this too." He easily picked up Joe from his seat and dragged him into the house. "Come on Jason we need to catch up." After another round of shots Jon would bring me around showing me off like a damn pet. I met some cheerleaders, some more of his teammates and a lot of the generally more popular kids. Everyone seemed nice but I'm sure that was because of common courtesy. Jon would keep putting drinks in front of me as we met more people but I don't think Jon realized how much I needed to really feel anything nowadays. After we made the rounds, I motioned Joe for another cigarette and he happily joined me. "Thanks again man. I owe you next party." He said before it lit up. "Yeah it's no issue don't worry about it." "I'm glad Johnny found someone. He was hanging around Ken too much I thought they were dating for a while." "What do you mean?" I was suddenly a lot more interested in this conversation. "I mean just look at them, they couldn't be more different and yet they're best friends and inseparable. I was sure Ken was taking Jon's dick for a while before he met you a couple of months ago." I looked over and Ken apologizing to Jon for being too wasted and Jon telling him it was fine. It once again reminded me of what Houston and I could have been. "Ken's weird too man." Joe's tirade brought me back to reality. "Like he's the main reason we won last year but if Jon wasn't defending him all the time, I doubt anyone would actually talk to him." That one stung. I knew what it was like to be the weird guy, the loser. Being on the other side of it was surreal. I was too drunk to make a scene but I locked that one in the back of my head to bring up to Jon later. I tossed my butt and walked over to the proverbial couple still in the middle of a conversation going nowhere. "Ken it's fine." "No, it isn't. I should have let you drink so you could have fun with Jason and now I'm just sad." Ken had the most pathetic face on right now and I just wanted to give the big guy a hug. "Your moms going to make it dude. You told me she was doing well this week, right?" "Hey..." I interrupted realizing they didn't notice me. "Hey babe. Tell Ken his mom's going to be just fine and he needs to relax." "Now he's trying to comfort me. I'm such a fucking idiot." He punched his thigh as tears fell from his face. "I'm such a loser. I've always been a loser." "Ah fuck. Babe do you think we can leave. I don't want everyone to see him like this." He looked disappointed that we couldn't last longer at the party but he knew he had to get his best friend out of here. "Yeah I see no issue. Lemme give Joe my cigarettes and we can leave." I walked back over to Joe enjoying the night sky and interrupted his reverie by tossing him my pack. "We're out of here man. It was nice to meet you." "Crybaby Wilker at it again huh?" He shook his head as he put out his hand to shake. "Let's hang out after school some time. I promise we're not like that nerd. We actually have fun." "Yeah sure man." I lied. I wanted nothing to do with this asshole after this engagement. He doesn't even realize I was in the same position up until this year. I don't think the rest of the friend group knew that Ken's mom was battling cancer either. I kept my cool as I made the rounds thanking Eric for inviting me and told him that we needed to have one at my place. It was a relief to be in the back of Jon's car as we drove back, consoling Ken along the way back to my place. "Kenny no. You're too drunk to drive." He commanded as we dragged him up the steps to my place. "But my mom." He cried. "She doesn't have chemo on Sundays and she hates how you wait on her all the time. You're staying here for breakfast at least." "Ken, I get it." I started. "See even Jason sees how pathetic I am." He blubbered as I opened the door. "You think you're this loser not deserving of everything because you try and make everyone else's life great. You think "Man, if it wasn't for everyone else, I'd be a loser." I can tell from the few moment's I've interacted with you that you're far from that. You made me feel welcome before you even knew me completely and were defending me immediately. There's no way you're a loser." We finally made it to my couch where we put him down. "I'm going to go get him water. You stay here." As I walked away Ken cried more and Jon pat his back soothing him telling him everything was going to be ok. I looked at my phone in the kitchen as I gave them a moment. My Facebook had blown up for a second time with plenty of people trying to add me again. Everyone was talking about my liquor tolerance and how chill I was. Veronica Lopez called me a loser but she was clearly still jealous. After about ten minutes I decided it was enough time and came back to Ken laying back hitting his vape and my boyfriend rubbing his shoulder and laughing. "You good now?" I handed both of them a bottle of water. "I'm sorry..." Ken started but I wasn't having it. "Shut it. You keep trying to make everyone happy and you don't take care of yourself. You are going to run yourself into the ground at this rate. Believe me. I know a thing or two about running yourself into the ground." Jon looked at me and I wasn't sure what it was about but I wasn't concerned right now. "Follow me." I got up and motioned towards my basement. "Get on my computer and fuck around on it until you feel better." He started again but I raised my eyebrow telling him I wasn't in a mood to argue. As he slumped over, I took off my hoodie and pants and threw them in the hamper. "There are fresh towels in the bathroom closet. Take a shower and pass out on the cot when you're good enough to sleep. If you fucking leave tonight, I'll never let you forget it." I waved Jon to come into the closet with me as I needed some sweatpants. "I fucking love you." He turned me around and shoved his tongue down my throat and I was helpless to resist. He clawed through my hair as we hit the wall and he didn't relent until I pushed him off me. "What the fuck was that?" "That was quite possibly the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. You keep surprising me babe." He moved my hair away from my eyes so I could see his light green eyes. "I've never seen you in such control." I looked away from him unable to handle his emotion right now. "You don't get it. You've never been the loser Jon. It's why you can't help him." "That's what I mean." He brought my face back in front of him. "You complete me in ways I never dreamed of." "Jon stop." I wasn't doing this with Ken in the other room. "Can we just go to bed and talk about this tommorow?" "Of course, babe." He kissed me one more time before walking out and grabbing a pair of my sweatpants. We came out and Ken was typing away at something I couldn't be bothered to look at as I made my way to my bed. Jon kissed me on the forehead and told me he was going to stay up with Ken to make sure he didn't leave. I respected it so I just put on an awful sci-fi thriller on Netflix and eventually dozed off. After that tremendous Saturday, the start of the week was nice and dull. I didn't realize Ken had stocked the fridge at Jon's request until I woke up to Jon cooking breakfast. When I walked up, I found Ken trying to step in and Jon armed with a spatula telling him to sit down and let him cook for once. "And a good morning to the married couple." I couldn't help but think back to last night as I saw them argue. "Morning babe. Dinner will be done in like ten minutes." Jon turned around and went back to his bacon. "Jon come on." Ken pleaded. "Sit your fucking ass down and let me cook." Jon snapped waving his spatula one more time. Ken sat there pouting unsure what to do with his hands. He was certainly more nervous than usual this morning and I couldn't figure out why. "He feels guilty he made us leave the party yesterday." Jon said casually as he brought a large stack of pancakes over. "JON!" Both of us exclaimed at the same time. "Oh, shut up and get used to it." He brought over the bacon and eggs in succession and sat down while handing us two plates. Jon didn't seem in the mood either. "Eat." After breakfast was quiet for ten minutes, I decided it break the silence. "What's up with you two?" "He's going over what happened last night in his head and now he's afraid he's broken the spell." Jon said between bites. "Jon!" Ken buried his head in his hands. I guess Ken took his social appearance very seriously. "Jason doesn't care. He's not laughing. He's concerned." Jon pat him on the back. You need to relax. I didn't want to interrupt Jon trying to be helpful but it was the same problem. Ken felt like he was nothing right now and no amount of some popular dude who had the world behind him was going to make him feel better. After everyone ate, I got up and not so subtly dragged Ken out while Jon did the dished. Jon mimicked the whistle Ken shot out yesterday and I shot a look telling him I would remember this. I pulled out my cigarettes and lit up and offered to Ken which he surprisingly gladly took. I sighed and scratched my head. Last night was easy, I was just drunk enough to say whatever I needed to but being sober was a different game. I took more of Martha's advice too a deep breath and spoke from my heart. "I don't care how you look in front of me" "Huh?" He looked at me dazed; he was really lost right now. "You need to realize that I don't give a fuck. If I didn't like you based on actions when you're drunk, I would have laughed and kicked you out by now. You're under a lot of stress and you got some out last night. Please don't apologize for it." I looked away as I finished. "Like fuck man. If I was in your position, I would be a literal mess all day and all night. You've earned so much respect from me in the past few days. You're a great guy and deserve the best so act like it have some confidence." "Jason...." "Not done." I held my finger up and he took the queue and let me continue. "You give too much. I get that it's rough right now but you have to give yourself time to decompress, or this will keep happening. This is where you'll decompress. I don't give a fuck if you cry for hours here." I turned around liking how I was sounding. "I'm not taking no for an answer. You need a friend that isn't an egotistical meat head and I'm going to be that guy." He was still pouting but he nodded and that's all I could ask for. I went to the poor guy and gave him as big of a hug as I could. "I think we can both agree not a word of this to Jon." "He'll read my mind eventually." He reminded me. "Then let him but let's keep this conversation between us for at least a day. Jon doesn't understand and never will." He sighed on my shoulder and nodded. Hugging a big guy like Ken was really weird. I could never date a tall guy. "Alright did you two have your heart to heart. Can I come out now?" Jon peeked his head out the window from the kitchen to check in on us. "You came out Freshman year idiot." Ken snipped immediately getting a laugh out of me. "At least you're feeling better. Whenever you're ready come back in." "Nah I need to leave anyways. He tossed his dart into the grass and pulled off of me. "You two need time alone. Thanks for everything guys!" With that rushed out of here before Jon could get a word in. "Why is he avoiding me?" Jon pouted from the window. "Babe you can't solve everyone's problems. This one in particular you have no experience in. I hate to break it to you." I walked over and brought my hand up to his cheek. "Like I told you, we losers need to stick together." "Fine..." He sighed. "I just hope his mom makes it." "Me too babe me too." I pecked him on the lips and met him inside. We went downstairs, stripped down and cuddled for a bit picking up where we left off. "This is nice." I said as I laid on his bare chest fumbling around with the thin fabric around his crotch that were his boxers. "Sure is." he hummed anticipating my hands to go further. "What has it been? A week since I've played with this?" I slipped his boxers down and slowly tugged on all eight inches of his beautiful cut cock. "Yeah, I'm all worked up." He moaned as I slowly jerked it until it grew to full size. I took a moment to admire the size of the thing. I briefly thought about how I could possibly take this thing up my ass but it was a fleeting thought as I needed it in my mouth. I straddled his body having my ass sticking right in his face. He was grumbling something in frustration as I looked at his head glistening with precum. After a quick lick I felt a full shiver run up his body and I knew it was time. I had learned to flat my tongue since I had first taken his monster in my mouth making the initial swallow easier and it drove Jon wild that I was able to take so much so quickly. I could hear him cursing and moaning as bobbed up and down his dick, inching further down. Jon began slipping his hands under my trunks and ripped them down. The cold air hitting my bare ass would stop me momentarily but didn't distract me from servicing my boyfriend's dick. What would catch me off guard was his tongue jabbing at my hole. The electric sensation caused me to open my mouth wider and moan, working the last inches into my mouth suddenly. The sudden movement and vibrations would prove to be too much for Jon as just seconds later I would hear him growl and curse as he shot what felt like an eternity of cum down my throat, once again drowning me off of his pulsing dick. "Fuck babe. I'm sorry." He flipped us over and brought me closer to him as I recovered from his assault on my throat. "You took all of me and when you had my head against your throat it was too much, I couldn't warn you." I coughed a bit before I could finally respond. "You really were worked up, weren't you?" "Only for you babe." He nuzzled into my neck like he always does and went back to kissing me. We went back to cuddling and quick and light signs of affection before it was time to take a shower and part ways. He went off to the restaurant and I took care of my schoolwork for over the weekend. Jenna called seeing what I was up to and I told her the house was Jon free and she hung up instantly and showed up. "Jason were out of booze." Jenna whined as she looked at my empty cabinet with despair. "There's some wine that Wilker is used for cooking." I was flipping through Netflix trying to find something mind numbing to watch. "Works for me." She walked to my kitchen and uncorked the bottle, pouring herself a large glass. "You want?" "Nah I'm good. You ok with anime?" "Jason Andrews doesn't want to drink. What crazy backwards universe have I entered." "The one where I drank half a bottle of Vodka in shots alone at the party last night" I shook my head. "Wait you went to Eric's party?" She said surprised. "Mark and I didn't go because he was moody. He took me to the movies instead." "How sweet." I rolled my eyes. At least it explained why he wasn't home when I stopped by. "Why aren't you over there now then?" "He said his mother went nuclear. He wouldn't tell me why though." "You don't say...." I said slowly as to not tip her off. "I KNEW YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT." She screamed as she smacked me twice with a good amount of force. "You told his mom, didn't you?" "She called and I wasn't going to lie to her." I fibbed. "You are such a prick." She took the rest of the wine bottle and poured another glass. "I'm telling him." "Feel free." Like I gave a fuck if Houston found out I ratted him out to his mom. The argument didn't go past that. I think we were both happy to have each other around again. After a nice dinner and some darts, she went off to work and that pretty much ended my Sunday. Flash forward to Wednesday, Ken had given me a standing invitation to hang out with him in the school gymnasium when I got out of class and I decided to take him up on it. I walked into him fiddling with a camera on some strange setup in front of the basketball hoop. "The fuck is all this?" I said putting my bag down and walking over. "LITTLE BRO!" Ken's nickname for me was annoying as shit considering I was a full year older than him. He ran over and squeezed me like he always did and I struggled to be released. "Every time? Seriously?" I rubbed my crushed arm. "I always wanted a little brother. Now that I have one, I'm never not doing that." He smirked before going back to adjusting the camera. "So, what's all this nonsense?" I said as I pointed to his electronic contraption. "Help me test it." He said moving to the computer. " Pick up that ball over there and shoot it into the hoop." "I know nothing about basketball dude." "That's what it's for. It shows you how to get better. At least it's supposed to. Help me test it. I tell Johnny to help me but he has class during this time." He started typing something in. "Come on just shoot and I'll show you." I sighed and picked up the basketball and lined myself with the camera and took my best attempt at a shot missing it entirely. "Nice try!" He said with sincerity. " Come over here and look at what the program says." I walked over and saw a stick figure replicate my shot. He pointed out how I had no power due to my stance and angle. He translated what the computer was saying to idiot speak for me. "So, get some power in your legs before you release and angle your arm about ten degrees higher." After about twenty tries I finally hit the basket and in classic Ken fashion he came up behind me and squeezed me and swung me around. "KEN LET ME DOWN HOLY SHIT." I screamed as he spun me around "Yeah come on Kenny. If you break my boyfriend, you're going to have to put him back together." A very familiar voice said behind us. "Jon!" Ken turned us around and put me down. "You finally decided to come!" "Relax Kenny. Unless you're actually making moves on my man in which case, I'm going to have to kill you." He smirked as he pulled me over to him. "Hey babe how was class?" He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and positioned me to wrap his arms around my chest. "Boring. I didn't want to go home so I decided to visit Ken and we worked on shooting baskets." I said nuzzling into his neck. "Yeah I saw you make the last one and he started spinning you around. I wish I could pick you up like that." "My little bro learned to shoot hoops today. My project for the semester is coming along nicely." "Ken I'm a year older." I said indignantly in my boyfriend's arms. "Sorry lil bro it's just how I see you." He said furiously typing away. "You taking away my guinea pig?" "Yeah I have to take care of his primal needs." He said dripping in innuendo. "JON." I broke free of his hug and smacked his arm. "You're actually such a fucking horndog." "Only for you babe." He said bringing me in and piercing me with his emerald eyes. I hadn't experienced his gaze for a few days and it was like the first time. I turned around and let his gaze pull me in, leading into a long overdue kiss. We stood in the middle of the gym, lips melting and tongues clashing for what seemed like forever until I was broken from his trance by a bouncing ball. "Hey. Do you mind? I'm working here." Ken chuckled as he threw another basket. "Sorry Ken." I said, embarrassed. "We'll get out of your hair. This was fun. I'll come back next week." "Any time little bro. Come back tommorow if you want!" He said waving as I dragged Jon out of the gym as he wiggled his eyebrows knowing what was coming next. "YOURE. SUCH. A. SHIT." I smacked him as we walked out of the school to my house. "You're just so irresistible what can I say." He said honestly with his hands in his pockets. "When I see you having fun with Kenny, I fall in love with you more." "Why?" "I mean look at you and Houston. If that was you and Kenny, I'd be at a loss for what to do." "Don't sugarcoat it Jon. You would have dropped my ass for him." I lit a smoke as we finally got off school premises. "You said it not me." He moved ahead to avoid the smoke. "Can you ask Kenny about vaping? You did promise." "Sure, I'll do it tommorow. Ken seems super busy though I don't want to bother him." We had made it to my house and he knew where I re-hid the key so he let himself in despite my protests. We've been settling into this routine of blowing each other every other day and just cuddling and being romantic on our off days. Sometimes we would find the energy to go at it a couple days in a row but today I just wanted him to hold me and talk about stuff. I threw on some music we stripped down to our underwear and got under the blankets "Are you going to tell me what you and Ken talked about on Sunday?" He asked as he gnawed on my shoulder. "No babe." I said firmly. "Come on..." He begged. "Nope." He had to get out of Ken's brain if he wanted to know. "When do you have to go?" I asked wanting to change the subject. "In two hours. What have you been doing when Jenna has work?" "Nothing honestly. Just Netflix and homework." "You should find something at school to keep you occupied. Clubs are still open." "More idiots to associate with. Joy." "Look." He got on top of me like he always does when he wants to make a point." You've been drinking less so you have all this free time now. If you want to hang out with Kenny, he would appreciate the company but you should work on yourself with all this free time." "Get off of me." I twisted side to side trying to shake him off "You're telling me there's nothing that excites you?" "Not at that hellhole of a school no. Come on you are heavy." "People like you now you know. Even Jamal likes you and that dude hates everyone." "Ah yes, being the boyfriend of a jock lends itself to positive popularity. Get OFF." "Fine. You're lucky you're cute." He wiggled his ass on my dick before dropping down behind me "Just please consider finding a new hobby. You liked to dance maybe do that." "Nah we don't even have a proper dance floor for that." "Whatever I'm sure you'll find something." "Why is everything a project with you? You know with all the worrying you do you're going to grow grey hairs before you turn twenty." "Yes babe. I'm done talking about this." Jon did his speech and just wanted it to stew in me. He was right, but fuck if I knew what I wanted to do with my life. Jon would leave on time despite my protests. He said if he skipped practice Ken would come and drag him out of my house anyways. I realized I hadn't had anything to eat yet so I hopped in my car and drove over to Taco Bell. My favorite cashier and gossip were adjusting her hat getting ready for her shift. "Jon's boyfriend. To what to I owe the pleasure?" Leena Patel greeted me knowing she knew what was going to happen even before me. "Shut up Leena. Give me my order and enjoy your shift." I deadpanned still annoyed by Jon's speech today. "3 tacos and an order of potatoes. Did you ask Jon about Mr. Wilson? " "No, I'm not a big fan of having my boyfriend being ogled for the sake of the school." "You're not usually this bitter. Something wrong?" She said with partial concern but she's really just a huge gossip. "Sorry I shouldn't take it out on you." I admitted. "Jon just wants me to find something to do at school while he's at practice and it's bothering me." "Oh?" She was stacking cups as she listened to me rant. "You ever write?" "No. I can't say I've ever given it a try." "Well the newspaper has an opening in the opinion column. The last girl graduated last year and nobody's come to claim the spot yet." She turned around seeing that my order was done and bagged it properly. "We meet every other day after school. You have some very interesting opinions from what I know so it would be fun to see what you can churn out. Anyways here's your meal. See you Friday maybe." With that she went to the back to get something. Of course, this would fall on my lap. Of course, as soon as I told Jon the next day, he would demand I go under duress with my dick in his mouth. Of course, Ken would drag me out of the house when I said I didn't feel like it the day after. "I fucking hate both of you." I brushed myself off as my two bodyguards stood there smug in front of the Newspaper room. "HEY LEENA, HE'S HERE" Jon shouted through the door. "Come on Kenny coach is going to break the computer if we don't get there before him." "SHIT" Just like that Ken sprinted through the hall getting yelled at by a teacher. "Thanks Jon, I'll handle him from here." Leena said opening the door. "Appreciate it!" He said before running off to catch his friend. Also getting yelled at by the same teacher. "His tenacity knows no bounds. Alright, since Ken will drag me back here if I leave let's get this over with." I walked into the room shaking my head. "You know when Leena told me that you might have a spicy opinion columnist, I didn't think you would bring me the nightmare of my morning class." I knew that voice from anywhere. "Hello to you too Ms. Cantera." "You aren't calling me by my first name that's an improvement." She stood up from her desk and pulled open a seat in front of a computer. "Write me Three Hundred words about anything. You have an hour." I noticed the six people running around discussing articles and pages. I figured I should probably see if I even like the position before I concern myself with these people, I sat down stretched my fingers and let my wandering mind take over Expectations Our teachers always tell us to figure out our passion early. Now I can only speak for my observations as I have no idea what I want to do when I get out of High School but from what I'm seeing, everyone has this idea of how their life is going to turn out. We create these plans to be graduated as soon as possible and live a fulfilling life but they're just so unrealistic. Did you know less than only Forty percent of Undergrads finish their degrees in four years? We're all caught up in trying to grow up as fast as possible and we aren't appreciating the time we spend with our friends and family. What I'm getting as here is that it's good to have goals and aspirations but they need to be flexible. You should always be prepared to take advantage of good luck and mitigate bad luck but it happens to everyone. Most importantly you should be developing relationships with people that challenge you to be a better person. I used to think that life was just passing me by and that I would have a flash of brilliance and f igure out what I want to do with my life in one shot. Now I can't help but wonder how I can use my time to enrich myself rather than expect this huge long-term goal that I may not even want at the end of it all. We seniors make our picks for college soon and I don't even know if I'm ready but I do know with the people I have by my side now I know I'm growing and that's all I can ask for. I'm considering how to better myself rather than looking at the end game. Enjoy it while it lasts. "Not bad." Ms. Cantera smiled as she looked up from the screen. "This is actually really great advice for people who are scared about their future." "Wait seriously?" I looked at her perplexed. "You actually like it? I think it's terrible but you only gave me an hour so I had to cut it short." "We can work on that. Rome wasn't built in a day you know." She put out her hand to shake. "Welcome aboard as our new opinion columnist." "But for real?" I pulled my hand back thinking this was some kind of joke. "I got the spot just like that?" "Jason, you've been my student for your entire span here and this is the first time I've seen anything creative out of you. I would be doing both of us a disservice if I didn't attempt to foster it." "It's not even that good." I countered "That's for me and Leena to decide, we will help you make it better." She had finally caught onto my apprehension. "Ok how about this. You go home over the weekend and you give me something you are happy with and I'll look at it in class on Monday and give you feedback?" "Ok that I can agree to." I finally shook her hand. "Fantastic. The spot is yours if you want it but I need to know by Monday as we have to get everything together for the first edition of the school year in October." "Thank you for the opportunity." I blushed and scratched the back of my head. "You've always been smart Jason. You just never had a reason to show it. I have to thank Jon Han myself." "Wait Ms. Cantera is not like..." "Jason you think I don't pay attention when you leave my classroom and he's out there waiting for you every day? This is the most well behaved you've been in years. You just need to use to confidence you found to figure out your passion now. Maybe this is it." She put her hand on my shoulder trying to calm me down but I still felt red how realizing how transparent this transformation has been. "Judy!" Leena called out from the other side of the room. "We need help deciding on these pictures for the front page." "Hey how come she gets to call you Judy?" I crossed my arms happy to change the subject. "You do it to piss me off, she does it because we respect each other and I am her mentor." She turned around to go help them. "Monday Morning. Sound good?" "Yes, Judy not a problem." I smirked as I walked towards the door. "I can still give you detention for being a smartass. Don't get on my bad side again." As I walked over to the gym, I thought about everything that had happened. It had been a while since I had me and my thoughts alone. Everything seemed to be falling into place for once. There wasn't much left to do besides get this prompt over with and I wanted to give it some serious thought. Authors Notes: I had another one of those writer's block moments where I felt like nothing was where I wanted it to be but this time I managed to write everything into a place where I was really happy. The bad news of course being that I am officially out of pre-written content and that means Chapter 8 will be 10-15k words from scratch in about two weeks. If you've made it this far, you've read like two novels worth of text from a guy who decided to start writing from absolutely nowhere and I can't thank you enough. All the feedback is really what keeps me going so even if it's four years down the road please feel free to send an email to FrankKalau62@gmail.com ! The next update you'll see will be a list of characters, maybe i'll throw a page from the next chapter in but no promises. I need to go back and make sure I have all the names set straight. I'll see you guys in two weeks. If you need something to read in the meantime, I recommend the-chronicles-of-trey in the high school section and joe-college in the college section. The authors of those stories are head and shoulders beyond anything I'm writing here.