This story is fiction, fantasy in a writer's active imagination, and belongs in the "Gay-Relationships" category. It's based in real life, on a brief friendship I had with an older boy in church in the early 1960s. The names and other details have been altered to conceal the identities of the people involved. The true nature of the relationship was never sexual back when I was a youth, and it was as I represent here: a teenager watching over a younger boy who he sensed needed a watchful eye on his welfare. As I mention, I believe he may have known just how enamored I was of him, as I was quite upset when he went away to college. The connection between he and I was never re-established in real life, however, and I still have sad but loving memory of an older boy taking an interest in me and my welfare, a lad unfortunately for me ten years his junior. My memories of him are sweet to this day, and he will never be forgotten, nor his attentions to me. His memory remains "frozen" in time: to me, he is still a blond-haired, blue-eyed Adonis, muscular, sweet, and attentive to me. In my heart, perhaps probably so, actually he will remain that way until the day I die. He was an idol for me, someone to admire, and gentle to a fault. I could not have asked for a better "big bro" to watch out for me. My heart remains enamored of him to this day, nearly fifty-five years later...


My mentions of church life are not and never meant to be offensive. It is the way I was raised, and still to some extent see life through that particular "filter," although to a much-diminished extent these days than in years past. The damage that was done by the Baptist church still affects me, to this day, more than fifty years later, and I still have the emotional scars to prove it.


This story starts off slowly. The first chapter is a phone conversation, and deals mainly with two men who haven't seen each other in more than fifty years, when the older boy was eighteen and the other only an eight-year-old boy. If you are expecting to get off right away, this may not be the story for you. The second part is a slow start to action and concludes with a mighty roar from one of the participants. The third part is one for the ages, I believe, and may end with more in mind for the two main characters, as David and Bobby Joe get hitched and set up housekeeping, as two senior-gay men.


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"Big Christian Bro" [A Love Story] Part One

---Bobby Joe

Hmmmmmm...damn that's a nice memory! Wish it could have been more, but he was ten years my senior and left for college when I was only eight.


Daydreaming of an older boy at the church of my early youth, I was right in the middle of a most-pleasant memory of the blond-Adonis when my cell phone vibrated. I had turned off the ringer to get some privacy, yet something told me I needed to answer this particular call. Turned out I was right.

"Well, hey, Sis. Whazzup?"

"You, probably, knowing you, Mister Recent-Retiree."

"You know me too well, and you know I don't talk about my sex life with my sister so let's change the subject, OK?"

"You got it. Yet in a way, it's somewhat got to do with you and your lifestyle, my sweet little brother. One of the men from our old church just got in touch with me and wants to get in touch with you, if you are willing."

"Yeah? And just who is that, kiddo? I didn't think anyone at that hell-hole wanted anything to do with me since they found out I played on the gay side of the street."

"Oh, stop that. This is someone who has no idea you're into other guys. In fact, you probably haven't heard from him nor seen him since you were eight or nine and he left for college."

"Really? David Schmidt?"

"Yeah, you remember him?"

"Of course, Sis. He was always nice to me. Much more so than the flakes at that joke of a so-called "Christian" church. I always liked David. He was always sweet, kind and gentle with me. Most of the other boys were more like big Rich or Tommy or the REALLY big kid, Jay Thomas. David always kept an eye open for me and didn't let the other boys and young men push me around or bully me."

"Yeah, I remember him that way, too. He was one nice young man. Anyway, he's going to be in San Diego next week and wants to drop in and see you, someone who he calls his "favorite little bro."

"You're really serious? He wants to visit...me? Wow...I'm honored that he thinks that much of me, even now, nearly fifty-five years later."

"Is it OK if I give him all your contact info, then, little bro?"

"Sure thing, Sis. And thanks for this. I appreciate it."

"I figured you would. David was one of those guys I wouldn't have minded dating, but he came back from college with a new wife on his arm, and that shot that idea right in the foot."

"Wonder what happened there. Oh well. Best NOT to ask, sometimes, especially so if we DON'T want to know."

"OK, baby bro. I'll pass this along to the man. I gotta run. The grandkids are here and staring me down. Looks like lunchtime came around faster than I anticipated. Take care. Love ya, bro."

"OK, Sis. I'll be talking to you soon, I'm sure."

Fuck, man! David Schmidt! I didn't think I'd ever hear from him again! Hell, I was just a kid when he went away to college. He was awfully sweet to me, though, and maybe a bit sweet on me, too, who knows? Sis doesn't have a clue though, that he may have been gay even back then, that's pretty well a certainty!!! Maybe he wants to contact a brother again? Not gonna kick this gift-horse in the mouth, that's for sure!


Leaning back in my recliner, I closed my eyes and thought once again of the Adonis named David. Strange that I had been thinking of him for the last half-hour before Sis' phone call. He must be thinking of me, though, as I was of him. Cosmically, I wonder if those old wives' tales had a ring of truth to them, `cause this was a bit more than just slightly coincidental. My mind went to my imagined image of an older brother's body, his blond hair, his killer smile, his sweet disposition, his...cock. Damn, boy...if his mound was any indication of his cock-size, I was gonna be salivating the entire time he was visiting. Of course, that was a boy's perception of a fully-grown young man. For all I knew, now, in the twenty-first century, David could be average-sized in the cock department. To me, an eight year old, it appeared huge. Little did I know at that moment that his motive for the visit was more along the lines with mine, and his desire for me, as another man, was far from the church's version of what a relationship of two Christian "brothers" ought to be. His phone call later that same day did little to dissuade me of the possible desire he still held for me, as a younger brother.

"Bobby Joe? This is David Schmidt from your old church. You got a while, so we can talk?"

"Sure do, big bro. Your timing is great. Just thinking about you lately, and wondering whatever happened to you, man! I understand you'll be out here next week, and want to see me while you're here, is that right?"

"Yeah. I've been thinking about you, too, a lot, lately, as a matter of fact! I know it's been nearly fifty-five years, and there's a lot that's happened in both our lives since then, yet I cannot stop thinking about you, and hope you're still the sweet, kind, gentle person I remember."

"That hasn't changed, David, apparently on either end, big bro. You always looked out for me and made sure I was safe and the bigger boys didn't hurt me or bully me, and I always appreciated that."

"Well, little brother, I gotta tell ya, it's because I loved you, still do, man, and feel like there's some chemistry between us, especially so now that I hear your voice."

"What about your wife, David, and your kids and grandkids?"

"My wife died five years ago, little bro. Cancer. She was diagnosed and died in less than a year. They couldn't save her, she just withered away into a skeleton. The kids and grandkids are all grown now, and want nothing to do with me, now that they know I'm gay. I got the old, proverbial "left-foot of fellowship" from all of them, and moved to New England shortly after the wife died, to get away from that god-awful church, and now I've retired, too, and want to move someplace warmer, and thought of San Diego. My one niece knows your sister still lives in the Midwest, got in touch with her and thus this phone call. Hope it's not too presumptuous of me to try to contact you now, after all these years."

"Not at all. Glad to hear from you, actually! You were one of the few people from that shit-hole of a church who actually showed me some real Christian love, David, and that has never been forgotten, either. Your kindness and attentions to me, a mere boy, ten years your junior when you left for college, was something I will ALWAYS remember. You were so kind and loving towards me when we said goodbye that day, standing in the sanctuary, that I went home and cried that day, I wanted you to stay so badly."

"You're not the only one who cried that day we parted that day, Bobby Joe. I actually hated leaving you like that, `cause I knew yes, even then little brother that we were probably BOTH gay, even though I had to go through with that sham of a marriage and kids and grandkids thing for my folks, `cause that's what was expected of me. You were fortunate, as times had changed by the time you turned eighteen, and left the church."

"I wandered a lot in those years, big bro, church to church, looking for acceptance and love. No one's ever come close to your care for me, though, and I'll always appreciate those years at First Baptist. Your phone call shows me that that love is still there, isn't it?"

"Yeah, in more ways than you may imagine. That's one of the main reasons I want to visit with you in person, little brother. I sense your feelings for me are still strong, right?"

"Yes, definitely. Only, I am not that little boy anymore, of course. We're both mature men, now. You were always the man I looked up to though, even then."

"Physical attraction, eh? But more than that, though, right, bro?"

"Yeah, you are right. Your attentiveness to my well-being was very much appreciated, and very sweet. And that killer smile of yours damn-near knocked me off my feet, every time I saw you."

"That's `cause I loved you from the very start, Bobby Joe. You were always my favorite. I didn't want others to know, but that sweet little-boy body of yours was so cute back in those years that there were times I wanted to take you home with me and just keep you all to myself, as I always sensed you were just as enamored of me as I was of you."

"Damn right, David. You were an absolutely hunky Adonis to me, and could very easily have taken advantage of me back then, yet you didn't."

"I couldn't have, Bobby Joe. I loved you too much. Still do. You were and apparently still are the man I want to be, too; kind, gentle, caring, and very much loving."

"Fuck, man. You've gone and gotten me boned up, big bro."

"I was kinda hoping I had prompted that response from you. Your voice is giving me major bone, too, baby brother, and yes that's exactly the way I feel about you. I always wanted a little brother, and you kinda filled that need for me."

"And I feel that way about you, too, David. Not having a brother myself, and having the attention of an older boy, a young man, was ego-tripping for me, that you thought that much of me that you'd watch after me and made sure I wouldn't get hurt and stuff meant a lot to me back then, hell, it still does, and I've always been appreciative of your attention."

"Well, bro, when I get there next week, we're going to have a get-together/get re-acquainted session like this world has never seen before. I am looking soooooo forward to being with you again!"

"Same here. When do you arrive, and are you renting a car, or what?"

"Yes, on the car. I arrive late Friday evening, so let's plan on getting together on Saturday, OK? This is an exploratory visit, as I want to look for a nice place to live. Starting all over again at the age of seventy-two. I must be nuts, but I want to be near someone I care about, and I always suspected cared a great deal for me."

"Always have, David. Always will too. You're my big bro, man, and I love you as a friend, and as a brother, too, of course!"

"OK. Tell you what, I'll call you first thing Saturday morning, once I'm up and coherent enough to talk. Coffee first. Then I'll call you and we can make plans. I'm getting in late, or I'd look you up Friday night. Here's my phone number...oh you've got it if you have caller ID, I forgot...all this new technology! Anyway, I'll swing by and we can hang out. Maybe do some other keen stuff."

I had to laugh. My big bro still used the word "keen." Telling of our common generational tie, both being `boomers.

"K, bro?"

"Awesome, dude...damn near as awesome as you, big bro. Can hardly wait to see you again!"

"Yeah, why's that?"

"To see if my hero is still the rock of Gibraltar I thought he was back then. You always were my ideal, you know that? That torso of yours always had me in a lather, boy! Did you know that?"

"Yeah, I do. I just hope you're not disappointed. Less boy now, of course, more mature man, little bro. But still knowing you, you're still the man I knew YOU would turn out to be."

"You're making me blush, dude. Now stop that!"

"Uh huh, boy. You do the same to me, dude. I'm still rock hard, man... Wanting to kiss you like I did, yes, even back then. I always loved you...did you know that?"

"Didn't realize until I was thirteen or so, David. All of a sudden it hit me, and how much I loved you, and missed you. Wish you could have lived closer in those years when I was a teenager. I needed someone to talk to, and my folks weren't much help. They loved me, I knew, but they didn't have a clue what I was goin' through."

"I was trying to avoid that, only because I didn't want anyone else to know I am gay, too, little brother. I had to cool it for years, and then when I came out, the door to the proverbial closet got blown off. Of course, the folks damn near had a heart attack, and all the shit really hit the fan. Luckily Mom and Dad and the wife were already long-gone. The kids immediately disowned me, and I haven't seen or heard from any of them since, grandkids neither. The niece I mentioned who contacted your sis is the only one from the family who talks to me now. And even she's been excommunicated from the family, AND the church. They had it in for us both. Kicked her to the curb long before they did me."

"Damn, David. Sorry to hear about that, but knowing those small-minded bigoted assholes, I am so glad I am out of that environment, I can't tell you!"

"Same here, little bro. No regrets, there, for sure!"

"Yep. So I will talk to you Saturday morning and we'll make plans then. Maybe you can stay out here in the burbs with me if it's easier for you, rather than spending money on a hotel, once you get up on Saturday. I wouldn't mind sharing my place with you. It's small, but it's a nice place."

"Sounds like a plan, dude. Talk to you by Noon on Saturday. Later, little bro. Love you, dude!"

"Love you, too, Big Bro! See you Saturday!"