Sunday

- So Lee tried calling me three times today. I didn't answer though.

It wasn't like...I was scared to talk to him or anything. I just had my own plans for the day. I didn't want him to bring me down. I that a bad thing to say? Maybe it is, I don't know. Honestly, though...I knew what it was about. This is the second weekend in a row that I've blown him off without so much as a quick email to say hello.

After Lee's third attempt to reach me, my little email alert went off, and he sent me a message, with a little frowny face in the subject header. It basically said, "So I guess you don't like me anymore. Is that it? :("

Nothing could be further from the truth, actually. I liked Lee. I just got tire of having to scratch and claw at him all the time to get some emotion out of him. Lee can be really really sweet when he wants to be. He can be sweet and SEXY and cuddly in the most adorable ways....when he feels like it. And half the time, he just doesn't. Even when I need it. Even when I ask him for it. He rations out his affections according to what he wants all the time...and sometimes...I want him to think about my needs too.

That's the same problem that I got into with Sam. Feeling more 'used' than 'appreciated'. And then I end up doing the same thing to him, because the only way that I was going to make him give ME something was to just plain take it. There's got to be a better balance out there somewhere. I don't think I'm going to find it in Lee.

Maybe now he understands what it's like to really care for somebody and have them take it for granted. It sucks...because he was really hot. The super hot boys always come with problems. I don't have the patience for that kind of maintenance.

So the big question is....did I go back to Robin's house today for more freaky deaky sex time? Hehehe!

And the answer is 'YES!' Yes, I did! And I think it was even hotter this time around than it was last time!

I think it's because I wasn't so nervous this time around. I wasn't apprehensive or confused about what was going to happen there in that basement today. Unlike Lee, I didn't have to hold back. I think that's what made being with Robin and AJ so cool. I could just...ask them for a kiss and get one right away without question. I could tell Robin to get on his knees and suck me off...and he would. He was happy to do it. And he really got into it too. Everything that Robin did to me, he did it with moans and whimpers and a passion that let me know that he was enjoying the sex twice as much as I was. AJ definitely found himself a treasure in this boy.

The moment he opened the door for me, I grabbed two handfuls of his ass and pulled him towards me for a kiss. He didn't resist me in the least. In fact, he smiled from the sudden change in me to something a bit more aggressive. He liked that. I have to admit that I even surprised myself today. I wouldn't have been so brazen if it weren't for him giving it back to me 100%, touching me all over and whispering how much he wanted me in my ear as he grinded up against me. Having him work to turn me on made me soooooo horny! I'm surprise that I didn't cum before even getting downstairs.

AJ has a habit of wanting to French kiss me a lot. I still don't know how I feel about that. It's not that he's a bad kisser. He's a great kisser. But...ugh...I don't know.

I'll suck the life out of AJ, I'll lick that sexy bod of his from head to toe...but there's something a bit more 'intimate' about kissing that I feel weird about giving to him. I'm just not connected to him like that. So as much as I should be enjoying it, the kiss comes off as kind of cold. Maybe it's a mental thing.

There was something that I noticed though. AJ had already climaxed for the second time, and he was going to go upstairs to Robin's kitchen to get something to drink. Robin and I were left alone on the couch together, and I was still hard. So Robin grinned at me and kissed me deeply on the lips as he straddled that thin body of his over my lap. I slid into him without much of a problem. He's pretty well practiced in finding just the right way to angle his body to make sex happen. I was tingling all over as his tongue entered my mouth, and he began to rise and fall and grind on my shaft. It was soooo hot! So easy. How did I not realize that getting laid was this easy before? After al the angst and the tears and the nervous jitters and the insecure feelings...I could have skipped all that and gone straight for someone like Robin who doesn't make me work for it. I wonder how many other hot boys like this are out there. Boys who just love sex and want to have it as much as humanly possible. Boys who don't make you wait. Who don't make you commit. Who don't make you feel dirty or perverted about it. It's just a nod and a wink and the next thing you know, I'm balls deep in a tight, hot, ass...getting worked over until I explode. Who needs a boyfriend? I think I'd rather have the sexy gay boy instead.

By the way, I think I'm going to make that my favorite position for me and Robin from now on! Him on my lap, facing me, our chests rubbing together, tongue kissing like crazy! Wow! That boy knows how to ride me hard! I could actually feel the bounce of his spongy ass cheeks on my lap as he plunged up and down on me. That snug little tunnel milking me for all that I was worth. And then...those little circles he's make with his hips, impaling himself all the way down on me...? Yeah...I wanna do that all the time with him from now on.

Then, when I came inside of him..it felt so good that it was almost painful. I held on to him so tight, my tip was so sensitive, but I had no way of controlling his movements. The swivel of his hips, the suction of his insides, the heated breath on the nape of my neck...I didn't know sex could be like this.

I was literally weak in the legs when I left Robin's house late this afternoon. Robin kept kissing me as I headed towards the door! Hehehe! I guess he liked me too. Does that mean that I'm good at sex? I'd like to think so. Hehehe! I almost didn't want to say goodbye. I was hard as a rock again by the time he closed the door. I even thought about going back for another quickie blowjob before his mom came home. If I asked him, I'm sure he would do it. No questions. No hang ups.

Gawd, I love that!

I remember, just as AJ and I were going our separate ways, he said, "I knew there was a wild boy in you somewhere. I knew it from the first time I approached you in the mall. You just needed to let it out of its cage every once in a while." Then he pinched my butt and said, "I'll call you soon. K? We need to do this more often. I missed the taste of you, babe."

I don't know what it is about AJ, but despite my slight repulsion for him...he knows how to make it not matter. It's like some kind of weird brainwashing. I know who and what he is....but he smiles at me and I turn into a stuttering idiot. Satan knew exactly what he was doing when he crafted that boy. But...then again, when I think about it...not only am I a part of his evil game, but I think a part of me is actually turning into him. Because if I could get cuties like Robin to strip naked and please me whenever I felt like it...I guess I'd go for it too.

There's something about AJ that just brings out the worst in me. And I let it happen....because it feels soooo GOOD!

Anyway, I'm gonna go. I've got stuff to do. My mom said that I should call my dad tonight.....

I didn't.

I will tomorrow. It's just...Trace and Mikey are there, and I haven't quite smoothed things over yet....

I just think it would be best if I waited a bit. Just until I talk to Trace tomorrow. That would be best.

Hehehe, oh! And I got an email from Bobby Jinette tonight too. It didn't say anything. It was just FULL of big smiley faces! Like...FIFTY of them in a row! Awwww, I take it he had a good time too.

Now...if Ian and Bobby keep that momentum rolling without stopping to question it...they'll make something really special out of the time they spend together. Which is awesome.

Don't 'hold back', Bobby! Go for it. Be happy.

Later!

- Billy