- OH-MY-GOD!!! I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THAT I JUST *DID* THAT!!!!!

I didn't mean to....that is...I didn't PLAN on....Oh shit! Shit shit SHIT!!! I don't even know what this means now! Did I royally fuck up everything now? Or did I...like...make things better....or..

Arrrgh! I'm so fucked up right now! Why did I have to DO that? Why???

Look, I'm only writing this down here to state my case, and to let the world know that this was NOT entirely my fault! Ok? If anything....it's Brandon's fault for being such a fucking weirdo! It's because of HIM that I'm in this mess! I just....sighhh...ok, look...it started like this...

I'm not gonna lie, when I woke up this morning, the very first thing on my mind was the fact that Brandon was coming home today! Ok? I SWEAR it was! I was in bed, morning hardon swelling up so tight that I wouldn't be able to even walk to the freaking bathroom if I didn't take care of it right away. It was one of those days when I was just 'extremely' horny from the get go, you know? And thinking about Brandon coming home, knowing what he knows...it kinda made it worse. It was like...'killing' me to not know how he felt or what he was gonna say when he saw me again. So I was TOTALLY hyped up about having him call me today! I didn't even know what time he was gonna come home. In the morning? In the afternoon? At night? LATE night? I didn't know! But I was just...sure that he was gonna call me when he got back. He had to. He's not gonna just leave me dangling, you know?

So...I am practically pacing back and forth around my room all day, trying to figure out what time I should expect to hear from him. I jumped at every phone call that came into this house. I nearly cursed a telemarketer the hell out, just for getting my heart beating like that! But after hours of waiting....no Brandon. Why is making me wait, huh? I could literally CRY over this!!! He's being SO mean to me!

Anyway, four o'clock rolls around, and the phone rings, and I dash over to go get it, hoping that it's finally my pretty school boy calling me at last. And it turns out to be Bobby Jinette. Grrrr! Of all the disappointments in the WORLD, it had to be him. Anyway, he reminds me that I said I might be able to come over today and wondered if I was still up for having a good time. I guess I did tell him that, didn't I? But ONLY because he was looking so cute and doing those little adorable things that he does when he's being timid. You know, like the cute little 'shoulder shrug' thing. Or just being so flirty and fun with every word that he says to me. So I guess it would make me a jerk to back out now. Besides, when I thought about it some more, I was kinda mad that Brandon was taking so long to get in touch with me. I mean, he's GOTTA know that I've been torturing myself about this for the past week! So I just kinda figured that...well...what better way to get back at him than to have my mom tell him, "Sorry, you're too late. He's at BOBBY'S house now, you ass face!" Well...not that she'd do that. But I was hurt, you know? I wanted to...kinda...make him wait. Or something. Hell, I dunno! I'm NEW at this!

So I told him, "Yeah, I'm still down to come over for a while." He was happy as always, and I felt better about going, and at least I was gonna stop having a heart attack every time the phone rang! So...I kinda...just..went over there. I told my mom, "Mom, if Brandon calls for me, make sure that you tell him that I'm over at Bobby Jinette's house. Ok? It's important." Which she thought was a bit strange, but didn't give me much more than a raised eyebrow about it. I said, "And DON'T say 'Billy told me to tell you he's at Bobby's house', ok? Just tell him I'm over there." I had to make sure that she got that right. I might as well play this cool.

GOD, I hope he likes me back! PLEASE God...PLEASE make him fall in love with me! Just this once! Just...let me have Brandon! Please oh please oh please!

Ahem...sorry...

Anyway, so I go to Bobby's house, still thinking about Brandon and wondering if he called. I had to literally fight my every instinct to keep from calling my mom from Bobby's house to check in and see if he called. I was literally squirming over it, and I can't get it out of my head. The thing is...Bobby's doing his little shy thing again. I really wish I could get it on camera or something. It makes him so hot sometimes, you know? He's especially cute when he blushes. So we're actually having a much better time than we did last time. I mean, maybe it was because my mind was elsewhere and not just concentrating on how 'un-alike' me and Bobby were. And he had this little container of gummy bears, and we were both kinda joking around in his room. And he says to me, out of the blue, "You know, my mom and dad went to Vegas this weekend."

It kinda caught me by surprise. I didn't know what that meant. So I was just like, "Oh...really? So who's here with you?"

And he's like, "Nobody. I'm 14. They said that as long as I don't have any parties and don't let any strangers in the house...I could stay here by myself." I remember thinking that that was REALLY fucking cool! Especially since my parents would have either dropped me off at Grandma Rose's house, or would have had both sets of neighbors checking on me every ten minutes to make sure I didn't burn the place down. I nodded and told him that it was awesome that he got to have the house all to himself for a while. He said, "Well...sorta, yeah. To be honest, it's actually kinda quiet around here. A bit lonely. You know?" Then there was this really weird silence. He looked at me, and he sorta bit his bottom lip. I looked back at him, and he gave me this silly smile, and it made me laugh Things went back to normal for two or three minutes....and then....more silence.

I was like, "Do you wanna play some video games or something?" I couldn't really tell what was going on, but it felt weird inside. Kinda wiggly. I should have known that something was up...but my head just wasn't working right.

We played games for a bit, and we're racing each other on the screen. He was in the lead until I hit my turbo and raced right by him. So he was like, "Aw! You bastard!" And he tried to use one of his hands to knock the controller out of my hand. Well, the race was almost over, and I tried to knock his controller away too. We were slapping at each other's hands and wrists, trying to be the first to cross the finish line, and I beat him by like a second and a half! We were laughing out loud at the moment, and when Bobby lost, he tackled me from the side and we wrestled around for a bit. It was probably the most fun that we had ever had together. And then...I was on top of him trying to pin his arms down, but Bobby's a bit stronger than he looks. So he struggled, and his hips were pushing up so hard that it lifted me off of the floor, and I had to push my hips back down at him to keep him still. And.....somewhere in all this 'pushing'...we had both gotten really hard. Ahem, I mean...REALLY hard!

Maybe it was the friction, or the motion, or...I don't know. It's not like I was thinking, 'Wow, I'm actually dry humping Bobby Jinette, and he's a hottie!' I could feel that he was really hard too, but I didn't want him to know I had a boner, so I kinda rolled off of him and laid on my stomach on the floor so I could hide it from him. Well, he kept going, and he jumped on top of me...his stiffy humping into my butt, and pushing mine into the floor. I nearly came from it, I swear. He had his cheek pressed against mine, and his warm breath was in my ear...sigh...I can't even describe how good it felt. And then...I told him, "I give! I give!" Hoping that the game would stop. And it did....kinda. Bobby stopped moving on top of me, but he didn't get off. He was laying on my back, and after a second for both of us to catch our breaths...he leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. I remember that I giggled at first...and turned my head to the other side. So he leaned down and kissed my other cheek. And another little game started, with me trying to hide any kissable surface on my face while he tried desperately to playfully nuzzle his way in for another smooch. And then...he slowed down a bit. And he sucked my earlobe into his mouth....and he sucked on it for a little bit. I kinda froze...but I didn't tell him to stop. I could feel his wet tongue licking it all over inside his mouth, and I closed my eyes for a moment just to...like...enjoy it.

He let it slip out of his lips after a bit, and he kinda just laid there for a second. I don't know if he was expecting me to say something or not Hell, even *I* didn't know if I was expecting me to say something or not! But we just kinda laid there for a while...and when he didn't hear any protest, he started sucking on my earlobe again. It felt soooooo good! And all I could think about at that very second was the look of those soap suds sliding down the crack of Bobby's sweet ass in the shower, and how cute he's been lately, and the fact that...I was here in a house all alone with him. Him and that succulent ass of his. Arrrgh! I don't KNOW why I gave in! I just...he was doing it so good, and he started to push his hips into me, and I was grinding into the floor, and Brandon was on my mind, and....it just....happened!

The next thing I knew, Bobby had slid off of me and we were both laying on our sides, making out like CRAZY! I mean, I always knew Bobby was gay...I think....but I didn't expect him to...I didn't expect THIS! His tongue and mine were so tangled up that it was hard to breathe, but I didn't wanna stop. He was rubbing the front of my pants with his hand, and we kinda fumbled around for a second to undo our pants....and his dick was soooo warm. And hard. And it was pretty long too. I just remember that when we got our pants open, we went back to kissing, and the zippers were kinda scratching us down there. So Bobby rolled on his back, and I did the same, and we pulled our pants off all the way. We both still had our boxers on, and I thought about taking them off too, but...Bobby rolled over on top of me...and we were both sticking out of our openings...and he started rolling his hips and pushing and pumping and kissing me so deeply....God...my head was spinning! It has been SO long since I've been with anybody other than my right hand and my imagination...it felt too good to stop. In my mind, I was trying to stop myself before I did something stupid. But...my body got so horny and Bobby was so damn sexy at that moment...none of that 'sane thinking' mattered any more. It was like this pent up sexual frustration that had been building up since I first noticed him looking at my package in the gym locker room. And it all got released at once. Our legs wrapped around each other and we kissed until we were almost exhausted...my God! We were all over each other.

He was humping me with this groin joined to mine, and our lips were connected in the most explosive kiss I've ever had with another boy. AJ wasn't even this hot for me on our first time. There was just something about the way Bobby just...'worshipped' me, you know? Like he had been waiting for this moment his whole life. There was a desperation in his whimpers that just made me feel like the sexiest guy in the world, you know? He really wanted me badly. And as he was grinding on me, my legs lifted up and wrapped even tighter around his...and my hands were sliding down his back..and for the first time...I actually got to touch that AMAZING ass of his! Jesus...it was even more squeezable than I imagined it would be! It was a complete handful of meat in each hand and then some. Soft as a silk pillow, smooth as marble, with just a subtle hint of moisture in that shallow crevice between his bubbled globes. Bobby moaned louder when I grabbed it, and started to thrust a bit more...so I let myself go, and my hands went under his boxers to grab his bare cheeks and hold onto them tightly. The skin was sooooo sweet, and my fingers dug in...feeling the muscles flex and release over and over again. I think it was the idea of me actually gripping Bobby's sexy ass that pushed me over the edge. I couldn't take it any more! I came everywhere! Gushes of it splashed up all over the both of us! And when he felt it, he moaned again, and he came hard about a minute or two later while he was sucking on my neck. Just as I was getting too sensitive to have him on top of me any more we stopped humping each other and tried to get our hearts to stop beating so hard. In it's entirety, the whole thing might have been ten minutes tops. Maybe not even that long. But it was the wildest, most unexpected fuck that I had ever had in my life. And we just laid there and kissed for a long time until we were ready to do some more.

Look...we didn't...you know...do any 'butt' stuff today, even if I really did wanna see what it would be like to put my finger in there. I never actually stared at his ass without turning away before. It's the most delicious looking teenage peach in existence. I can't imagine what he did to get it that way. But...by our 'third' time (yeah...um...three times...) we had done almost everything else. Bobby was kinda funny when I wanted to suck him and he said, "WAIT! I wanna wash it off first! It's got baby juice and stuff all over it!" Hehehe...God...it was so cute, the way he said it! We just....we cuddled for so long. I was actually an hour and a half late for dinner because I didn't wanna get up. He even asked me if I wanted to spend the night! What if I had said yes? I could be having even more 'Bobby Sex' right now! He might even let me....nah...if AJ didn't let me do it, Bobby prolly won't either. But damn....it would be AWESOME if he did!

Anyway, besides the fact that it was a totally hot afternoon, that doesn't solve the problem of me being a jackass! I just don't know what happened! I didn't even start feeling guilty until after I got home! I laid naked with Bobby Jinette for an entire Saturday afternoon, touching his tender, bulging, super tight, ass every chance that I got. I even got to suck on one of the cheeks with my mouth for a bit. He giggled and thought I was gonna give him a hickey back there or something. Hehehe, THAT would be hard to explain in a gym locker room full of naked boys! But we had a good time together. And had LOTS of passionate sex! Our kiss goodbye made us BOTH weak in the knees! Everything felt...well...it was exciting and hot and...downright AMAZING!!! It really was! But...this was *NOT* the plan! This is *NOT* the boy I love! This is just...this....sighhhh this is confusing!

What REALLY sucks is that Brandon STILL hadn't called my house when I got home! And I'm stuck in my room, trying to hide the fact that I've been having gay sex all day with another boy from my mom! I didn't wanna just come home and jump in the shower right away. She would have known I was trying to hide something. So I'm kinda hiding out so she doesn't see the goofy grin on my face, or smell the scent of sex all over me and my clothes. Arrgh! How did I get stuck here??? How could I fuck things up this badly? After what Jimmy and Lee just went through, how could I be so STUPID as to let it happen to me? Now what? Does Bobby think I'm his boyfriend now? Oh shit...was I his first time??? I don't even know if I was his first time or not! What if he's like...in love with me now or something? I shouldn't have gone over there! I shouldn't have! I should have stayed right here by the fucking phone and kept my lookout for Brandon! Screwing Bobby Jinette wasn't supposed to happen!

I've gotta lay down for a while and think. I'll write more later, once I figure things out better. Later.

- Billy

(By the way....I know that I really don't have much experience to go by..and that it's only gonna make things worse to even admit this to myself....but WOW! Bobby Jinette was, by FAR, the BEST sex I've ever had! I mean...my whole damn BODY is still trembling! And I didn't even get inside that tight ass of his yet! Um...not that I'm planning to do it again. EVER! I'm just saying....)