Boys in the Rain 7

Heloooooooo! Yeah, you guys missed me, didn't you? Oh, c'mon! Don't be like that! You know you did! Okay, okay, I know what you guys want from me.

I'm soooooorrry! I now I promised you guys that the next chapter would be up soon, and.... yeah, now it's nearly 5 months later. But rather late than never, eh? This is just a short chapter to clear up some confusion. With the previous chapter, some people seemed to think that I meant Jesse's mother was Dave's sister and that Dave got her pregnant. That is a LIE! Read, and see for yourself. The next chapter that will be posted will be the first instalment of Boy in the Church. J Enjoy, and remember: comment..... or else 0.o

`Yeah, amongst other things.' Dave took a sip of his wine. `Things that I'm not proud of.'

`Want to tell me?' Darren must have seen the hesitation in Dave's face. `Look, Dave. I don't understand why the hell you're keeping this from me? We are engaged, for God's sake. Does that mean nothing to you?'

`Of course it bloody-well means something! I would have told you ages ago, had I not thought that it would have driven you away from me!'

Dave cast his eyes to the ground. He was angry at Darren for interrogating him like this, angry that the man whom he loved was smart enough to see through him. But he was also ashamed of himself, both for what he did and for not telling Darren about it.

`You have always been so outspoken about parents throwing their kids away... Would you really have looked at me twice if you had known that I had also been guilty of that?' Shock registered on Darren's face.

`What? You didn't throw Jesse away. I mean, the boy's even got a cottage in your back garden.'

Darren sighed. `Look, why don't you just tell me the whole story. I think that it's time there are no more secrets between us. I love you Dave. You know that. But how can I completely love someone whom I don't completely know?'

`Yeah...' Dave said, his eyes still focussed on the carpet. He lifted his head and stared into Darren's eyes. `But only if you can promise me something.

`Try not to judge me too badly for the mistakes I made when I was younger.' Darren nodded, indicating that Dave should continue.

`I met Laura around seventeen years ago, shortly before my fifteenth birthday. I can still remember that day as clearly as if it had happened only recently. It was damn hot, even for December. The house next to the one we had been living in had been standing empty for nearly a year after the old couple who used to live there moved to a retirement village.

`I can remember being excited that day because there was finally going to be new people moving into it. Now, by that time in my life I pretty much knew that I was gay. I wasn't exactly at the place where I could accept it yet, but I knew. When the moving truck and the people finally arrived... Well, let's just say that when I saw Laura, I started questioning my own sexuality from the start again.

`She was beautiful. Soon we were hanging out together, and not a month later I became her boyfriend. I would be lying to you if I said that I loved Laura with all my heart, though. Looking back, I think I was mainly doing it to hide who I really was. Who I still am. Naturally, sex was a big part of our relationship. Laura was...', Dave smiled, `Ravenous in bed.

`She was any teenage boy's wet dream. You have to remember that I was a fifteen year old boy. Any place I could stick my dick in was pretty much the equivalent of a million bucks for me at that stage. We were always careful. We used protection, and she was on the pill. As I'm sure you might guess, that didn't exactly work.

`Three months after we had met, Laura was pregnant. I had just turned fifteen, and she eighteen.' Dave's shoulders dropped. `When I found out I went berserk. I told her that I never wanted to see her again, and that I wanted nothing to do with the child. A few weeks later, Laura and her parents were gone. I later found out that they never knew Jesse was my child. Laura had told them some cock-and-bull story about a guy had college that had knocked her up.

`My parents also never knew about Laura being pregnant. They only saw that I was becoming more and more depressed every day, almost to the point of being suicidal. I started feeling guilty about dropping Laura, dropping the child. I was fifteen, I was naive, but I was not a snot-nosed monster who only thought of myself.

`Of course, I tried to contact Laura again, but her number had changed. I've been trying over the years to get hold of her, to try and make up for what I did. I wanted to explain to her that I was young, scared. But nothing turned up. Finally, four years ago I got a call from someone proclaiming to be Laura's attorney. The attorney wanted me to drive down to her office in Durban. That's where Laura and the child moved to.

`She didn't want to give me a reason, just that it was of great importance, sir. At first, I thought that Laura had heard of my recent success as a writer, and wanted money. I would have been happy to give it to her. God, if only that's all it was... But when I was marched into the attorney's office the next day, I knew that wasn't it.

`Laura wasn't there. Only the attorney and a young boy that looked scared out of his wits. "Jesse," the attorney had said when I came in, "Why don't you go wait with Alicia while I speak to Mr. Nelson here?" As soon as the kid was out of the office, she turned to me. Of course, I knew who Jesse must have been. After all, he looked just like me. "That's him, isn't it?" I had asked her. She nodded and continued to explain that Laura was... was killed in a car accident earlier that week.

`Her will proclaimed that, in the event of her death, her parents should be granted permanent guardianship of Jesse. Unfortunately, at that stage, Laura's parents were both already in the sixties and in an old-age home. The will then said that if they were not to take guardianship of him, I should be granted it as I am his biological father.

`You can imagine my distress and, in part, elation. Distress because of Laura's death, and elation because I could finally get to know my son. But, shame took hold of me again when I saw Jesse through the glass office sitting next to the attorney's receptionist. What must he think of his father for throwing him away like that?

`I asked the attorney if he knew anything about me being his father, and she indicated that he didn't. Well, that worked out fine for me. I introduced myself to Jesse as Laura's long-lost brother, and the rest is history. Of course, I had to tell the same lie to everybody else in my life to keep Jesse from finding out. Eventually, I became so used to the lie that it became truth for me. Tonight was the first time in four years that the subject had ever been broached.

`Since that day, I have been trying to make my mistakes up to Jesse in any way I could. I gave him the flat, his car, a generous allowance and, I hope, all the love that I could muster.' Dave hung his head. `I still sometimes think about what would happen if he were to find out. Would he be angry? Hurt? Would he hate me? Or would he simply walk out of my life?

Darren couldn't believe everything he was hearing. To think that Dave could have gone through that much. He suddenly felt very guilty for even bringing the subject up. He looked at the broken man in front of him and made a decision, one that would alter his life, he was sure. He decided, finally, that he was going to stand by Dave, assist him in everything he does. He loved the man in front of him, he realised. More than he could ever say.

He got up and enveloped Dave in a hug. Dave had started crying, the wine glass totally forgotten and dropped onto the floor. Darren could see the stain of the red wine as it slowly spread outwards from the glass. He rubbed Dave's back. In a way that stain was just like the mistakes Dave had made, he mused. It was something that should never happen, and it would be a bitch to clean up, but with the right method, the carpet, and Dave's life, could be cleaned, and would be good as new.

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