Date: Tue, 29 Aug 2023 20:11:39 -0500
From: Keith Yates <keith.96@att.net>
Subject: Brent's Struggle 42

	This is a fictional story that may involve sexual acts between two
or more males. If this offends you, why are you here?  If you are under the
legal age to read sexually explicit material then do not read any further.
This story in no way represents any person living or dead.  Any resemblance
to any real person is purely coincidental.

This story is the property of the author and no copying or posting to any
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Readers Note: The events in this chapter of Brent's Struggle are taking
place between the currently posted Chapter 60 of Devyn's Struggle and the
soon to come chapter 61. It is a bit odd jumping between the two stories so
please send me your thoughts. You can send them to keith.96@att.net or
devyn.96@protonmail.com.

I do not believe that you have to read Devyn's Struggle to follow the
storyline but it might help. You can find the story here:

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/devyns-struggle/

Brent's Struggle
Chapter 42

Brent wished Devyn had been able to stay longer but he understood he had to
get back to school. He wished they could have talked more but Devyn said he
would come back this weekend. "If it is at all possible, I'll be back
Saturday." Devyn had sounded ernest when saying those words. It did not
sound like an empty promise.

Brent had been getting stronger every day. His pain meds had been reduced
so he was no longer so groggy all the time. If Matt and Bryan had not
reassured him that Devyn had in fact been there, he might have thought it
was all another one of his vivid dreams.

Now that Brent was off most of the medication, the dream that came back to
him was the one about the mystery man named Cody. He could still see the
friendly face, the warm eyes, and the ready smile. The guy had been so
similar to Devyn but yet different. Brent wished he knew if the guy and he
had really had some sort of sexual relationship or if it was all just some
sort of made-up fantasy.

It was early but Brent was already feeling restless. He wanted to get out
of the hospital and go home. He was tired of being there and wanted to
sleep in his own bed again. It dawned on Brent that when he thought of home
it was Matt and Bryan's place. It was not the place with his dad and
mom. It was no wonder he felt like that, Matt and Bryan had been treating
him more like a son than his parents were.

Bryan had brought Brent's school books with him today. That was something
Brent's Mom would have done. In fact, she had done that when he had first
checked into Wilson's hell hole of a clinic. Bryan, however, was more
encouraging that Brent could remember either of his parents being. "It's
time you start putting your nose to the grindstone. We are going to get you
caught up and get your grades up.

Brent still did not care about his grades but it seemed to be important to
both Matt and Bryan. They wanted him to get his schoolwork caught up. Matt
still thought Brent should put in the effort to go to college but would not
push Brent on that. "Not for now," Matt said. "But I think you should get
these grades up so you have options."

Brent guessed that was true. Maybe with Devyn back, or at least the
possibility of Devyn being back in his life, he should keep those options
open. Brent could not help but wonder if they could pick up their
relationship. They had not had the chance to talk about their
feelings. Devyn had seemed to have them for him but how deep did they go?
Brent knew his feelings for Devyn still ran deep. He wanted to pick up
their relationship. Of course, where would that leave Alex? Alex had been
there every night in the hospital. He had been there even before
that. Brent wished he could remember what he had felt for Alex before the
accident that had stolen most of his memories.

"You look a million miles away," Bryan said.

"Um...I guess I was. I was...um thinking."

"I'm sure there is a lot you need to think about. Your world was turned
upside down when you heard Devyn was dead. Now it has to be thrown for a
new loop knowing he's not."

Brent looked down at his breakfast which was only partially eaten. Bryan
was right. Learning Devyn was dead had thrown Brent's world into
turmoil. Brent was just not sure now if Devyn being alive was going to fix
that. "It was a bit like seeing a ghost."

"I bet it was," Bryan said. "He's the same but different."

Brent looked up and met the brilliant blue of Bryan's
eyes. "I...um...thought maybe that was just my foggy head."

"No, he's different. He's changed. He's still kind and all but he's..."
Bryan's voice trailed off. He was not sure how to put it into words.

Before Bryan could produce the right words, the hospital room door was
thrown open. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

Brent turned towards the familiar voice. He could hear the outrage in the
tone of the words. He could see the fire burning in the green eyes that
were looking at him. "I want to fucking punch you! What the fuck!"

"Hi Steven," Bryan said but Steven just pushed passed Bryan to glare at
Brent.

"Steven, what are you doing here?" Brent could not believe Steven was
standing there in the hospital room. It was almost as hard to believe as
Devyn having been there.

"What am I doing here? You dare to ask me that!" Steven's voice was getting
louder. "We went through hell and then you do a fucking stupid stunt like
this."

Brent looked down away from the fury in Steven's eyes. "I, um, well,
was..."

"What the hell were you thinking? Well, you weren't thinking. Your head was
up your..." Steven's voice was cut off by another voice.

"Steven calm down a bit," a gravelly voice said from the doorway. "Give the
boy time to think."

"He's had plenty of time. He's had enough of this fucking pity party."

"I think he's a little pissed," Bryan said but was not able to stop his
lips from curving up into a smile.

"Sorry about this," the gravelly voice said as he stepped into the
room. "He would not stop fretting' until we got on the road. Then the
closer we got the madder he seemed to get."

"Hi, I'm Bryan Chancellor." Bryan held out his hand to the man.

"Howdy, nice to meet you. Name's Jed Hawthorn."

"Good to meet you too."

"That's my Uncle Jed." Steven gestured with his thumb over his shoulder
towards the older man. "This is Brent and you just met Bryan."

Brent was not sure where to look. He did not want to face the fire burning
in Steven's green eyes. He turned towards Jed. "Um, hi."

"Maybe we should step out and let them talk," Bryan said. "I'll buy you a
cup of coffee. You have to have been driving all night?"

"Nah, got into town late last night. Slept in a hotel room until this
little dipshit woke me up at the crack of dawn."

Bryan knew the words were filled with tenderness for Steven. It was in the
tone of the man's words and the tenderness in the man's eyes. "Your boy is
lookin' a bit better than we was expecting."

Bryan placed a hand on Jed's shoulder and guided him towards the
door. "Since the dipshit had you up so early, let me buy you breakfast and
a big cup of coffee."

"Thanks, I could use some grub and definitely some coffee. The stronger the
better."

The door closed behind the two men leaving Brent and Steven alone. The
silence drug out for several minutes.

Steven was the first to break the silence. "What the fuck is wrong with
you?"

"Um...well...it was an..."

"If you say it was an accident, I'm going to fucking hit you. I've been
texting you and no answer and then...and then..." Steven's voice was
getting louder. "Matt calls me. He tells me you fucking mixed pills and
alcohol!"

Brent looked down at his unfinished breakfast. "I, um, didn't do it on
purpose." Brent did not even remember taking the pills or drinking. Matt
had told him but he did not remember.

Steven tried to calm down before speaking again. "I fucking freaked out
when Matt called me. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't even remember doing it. I just remember not being able to get to
sleep. I vaguely remember taking a pill and then getting a drink. I...I
really..."

"If I didn't already know your memory was full of holes, I would not buy
that shit."

"It's true. I don't remember." Brent's voice took on a slightly defensive
tone.

Steven let out a big sigh. "I believe that. But what the fuck!"

"I...um...well...um..."

"Look Brent, don't you realize doing that, throwing away this second chance
we both got is letting her win? Don't let that fucking bitch Wilson win."

"I wasn't throwing it away. I was just so messed up. Hell, I'm still messed
up. You know what happened. You know what she did. I had to relive all that
when I talked to Jay, the guy from the Justice Department."

"I had to go through it with him too, Brent. I know how painful it was. You
should have called me. I understand. Hell, talk to me when you can't
sleep. Talk to Matt or Bryan or someone."

"They, they deserve..."

"Don't start that fucking shit!" Steven's voice was getting louder
again. "You have all these people that love you. You've got me, Matt, Bryan
and what about this Alex guy? I bet you shut them out just like you did
me." Steven's eyes blazed with an accusation at Brent.

Brent knew Steven was right. He had shut them out. He had not talked to
Matt or Bryan. He had not responded to any of the messages from Alex or
Steven. There had been at least one message a day from both of them. Most
of the time there were messages throughout the day. "I just felt
so...so...broken."

"I know that. I've felt that way sometimes too. Talking to Jay made it
worse. It was fucking hard on me and I know it was worse for you." Steven
moved closer so he could slide his arm around Brent's shoulders. "Talk to
me, Brent."

Brent tensed up at the contact but forced himself to try and relax. It was
Steven and they had been through pure hell together. "I relived that hell
talking to Jay. Even the stuff I didn't tell him. It still filled my
nightmares. Then...then I had that meeting with my parents." Brent took a
shaky breath. "They hate me. My dad hates me. He likes hurting me. He likes
seeing me in pain. There was no other reason for him. For him to...to tell
me..."

Brent's throat was closing up as he remembered the feeling of grief and
anger. But it was not true. His dad, Richard, had been wrong. Devyn was not
dead. Devyn had just been there in the same room as Brent.

"I'm sorry, Brent." Steven leaned in closer and tightened his grip on
Brent. "He's an ass. He's probably just liked my Stepdad."

"He told me, shit he told me Devyn was dead."

"Devyn, Devyn from the picture?"

"Yes, but it isn't true. It isn't true. He was here. He's fine."

"You found him?" Steven's voice let his excitement show for Brent. He knew
how badly Brent wanted to see Devyn again. Steven knew how much Brent cared
for Devyn. It had been seeing that picture that Steven found in one of
Brent's books that had triggered part of Brent's memory.

"He kind of found us." Brent explained the little he knew about Devyn
trying to contact Matt. Brent had heard most of that from Matt. He had
still been fairly foggy when Devyn had been here.

"So, he's going to come back?"

"He said he would." Brent was both excited and apprehensive about spending
more time with Devyn.

"That's great Brent. I know how important he is to you. I'm glad you were
able to see him again."

"Me too, I think."

What does that mean?" Steven looked into Brent's eyes.

"He's...um...different."

"Well, so are you. It's been a couple of years right?"

"Yes." Brent could still remember the last day he and Devyn had spent
together. He could remember how they had spent the night in Devyn's bed
naked and curled up in each other's arms. He could also remember how
horrible that day had ended.

Steven could see the emotions playing across Brent's face. "Don't start
that fucking pity party again."

Brent looked up at Steven in surprise. He was a bit hurt by the comments.

"Oh, I saw it on your face. The `I'm broken he deserves better' bull
shit. You said that about Alex too." Steven remembered those comments from
Brent during one of their long phone conversations. He had just not
realized then how deep those feelings went.

"But I am. I can't..."

"Shit Brent I know you went through hell. We both did. What she did to
us...well was fucking perverted and sick. How she...um...focused on you was
even worse. I know that but you are stronger than that. You are stronger
than her. Hell, don't you remember how you stood up to her? I still think
about that. The way you told her how you suck his cock, how you let him
fuck you in the ass. I thought she was going to fucking have a stroke right
then."

"I wish she had. I wish she were dead. I want her dead. I want to..."

"Ring her neck," Steven provided when Brent's words trailed off.

"Steven, I think I could. I think I could actually do that to her." Brent
was clutching the bedclothes in his fists. He wanted it to be Wilson's neck
in his fists. He wanted to choke the life out of her.

Steven placed a hand on Brent's forearm. "I know. I've thought about
that. I thought about it every night when we were in those basement rooms."

"What if she doesn't go to jail? What if..."

"Don't even think that." Steven squeezed Brent's arm. "Jay will make sure
she does."

"But what if..."

"Then Miguel's Mom and those other PFLAAG parents might make short work of
her. He told me that she and the other Moms were going to be at that trial
every day. They were going to make sure she did not get away with what
happened to us. But I believe she will be going to prison for a very long
time."

"I hope you are right." Brent wanted to not think about her any longer. He
wanted to think about something else. He wanted to think about anything
else.

The two continued to talk until the nurse came in and attempted to push
Steven out of the room.

"We've got to change your bandages, honey," she said.

"Hey, I'd like to see that. Is he going to have a scar?"

The nurse gave Steven a dirty look. "You need to go."

"I won't be in the way. I'll just stay over here and watch. I might need to
know how to do this."

The nurse gave a questioning look at Steven. "Why would you need to know
how to change his bandages."

"Hell, won't they need changing when he's at home?"

Brent looked at Steven. He wondered just why the guy was so
interested. "It's alright," Brent said. "He can stay if he wants."

"See, he is alright with it."

"I think you should leave. This is going to look..."

"I've seen worse. Trust me," Steven said.

The nurse finally relented and began changing the bandages.

Brent felt a little exposed on the bed with being almost naked. He knew it
should not matter. Steven had already seen him naked. He was sure that to
the nurse this was just a clinical exercise.

"Wow wicked!" Steven was looking at the inflamed red incision on Brent's
stomach. "You are going to have a scar."

"Probably." Brent looked down at the line on his stomach. He would never be
able to go without a shirt again. Not that he really wanted to anyway. He
wondered how turned off Devyn would be by this ugly red line.

"It will not look as bad when it is healed," the nurse said as she was
placing new bandages on the wound.

"Scars are cool," Steven insisted. "They're sexy."

The nurse looked at Steven as if he had two heads.

Steven saw the look and he glared back at her. "They are sexy. Just think,"
Steven turned his eyes to Brent, "I'll get to look up and see that sexy
scar when I'm blowing you."

"Steven!" Brent was surprised by the tone and the words.

"Well, I've never. You young man..."

"Yeah, I suck him off. He's my boyfriend. You got a problem with that?"

The nurse only spluttered in response. She quickly finished redressing the
wound and hurried from the room.

Before she got to the door Steven moved back to Brent's side. "Don't worry
babe. It is sexy and I love you." Steven then kissed Brent quickly on the
lips.

The nurse's face turned red as she bolted from the room.

"Shit Steven. What the hell you trying to do?" Brent could not believe what
Steven had said.

"Sorry, but she seemed to have an issue with our being gay..."

"She wouldn't have even known if you hadn't..."

"Fuck that. She needs to learn how to be more accepting."

"Steven, you don't have to shove it down her throat."

"Oh, I think pushing people to accept us is a good thing. Just get it right
out there in the open." Steven then turned to look Brent in the eyes. "I
could shove something down your throat if you want." Steven wiggled his
eyebrows and batted his long lashes at Brent.

"You're fucking nuts!" Brent could not help but chuckle at Steven's
expression.

"Hot damn I made you laugh. Uncle Jed says that can be some of the best
medicine."

"I think maybe you are the medicine I needed." Brent could not help but
feel a little better with Steven there.

Bryan and Jed returned from breakfast and found the two boys still
talking. Bryan thought Brent was looking better than he had for a while. He
wondered if that was just from Steven or if it was having been able to
spend a little time with Devyn. Bryan decided it was probably a
combination.

"Uncle Jed booked us another night at the hotel. He said we can't stay too
long. He has to get back to the ranch and he wants me back to school. My
grades haven't been the best."

"Mine either," Brent admitted. "I wasn't able to think about anything
but...well..."

"I know." Steven touched Brent's leg.

Brent tensed up at the contact but forced himself to relax. It was easier
to do that with Steven.

"Now that is behind you, you can focus on your schoolwork," Jed said.

"I agree," Bryan said. "Matt and I can help you get caught up."

Brent looked down at the blankets. "I, um, don't know if I can."

"You can if you put your mind to it," Bryan said.

"Uncle Jed wants me to go to college," Steven said. "If we went to the same
university, we could room together. That would be cool."

Brent would agree with that. Steven would be fun to room with. Brent could
not help but wonder if Devyn would also be going to college. Could they all
room together? Brent had a momentary image of them all naked and in bed
together. They were each taking turns sucking on the other one. Then
Wilson's voice was in his head telling him how perverted he was.

"I think that would be a good idea," Bryan said.

Brent pulled his mind from the fantasy and from Wilson's scolding voice. He
had to find a way to get her out of his head. He would never be able to
perform with a guy if she popped in every time he thought about sex.

"So, let's both get our grades up so we can get into the same school."
Steven liked the idea of being roommates with Brent. He knew they would
probably never be more than best friends but it would be nice to be with
someone he was completely comfortable with. He had not made any friends at
his new school that he would want to live with at college.

The doctor came in late in the afternoon and said Brent was progressing
well in his recovery. "If Dr. Drake agrees, I think you can go home
tomorrow."

"That is good news," Bryan said. "I think he's ready to go home."

"I am but what does Dr. Drake have to do with releasing me?" Brent did not
understand why his therapist would need to be involved.

"Um...well..." The doctor looked at Bryan.

"Because of the drugs and alcohol in your system." Bryan was looking
directly into Brent's eyes. "It was a dangerous combination and..."

"It was an accident." Brent's voice was animated.

"Was it Brent?" Bryan was once again looking directly into Brent's
eyes. "You are smarter than that."

Brent looked down at his hands. He knew he had not planned to mix the
two. He had not really even been thinking about the consequences of mixing
prescription antidepressants and alcohol. "I wasn't thinking."

"I believe that." Bryan placed his hand on Brent's shoulder. He felt Brent
tense up. It seemed that the old reaction was back in force. "I also know
you won't do it again."

This time Brent looked up from his hands to meet Bryan's blue eyes. "I
won't."

Bryan smiled. "That's what I want to hear soldier."

Brent felt a warm feeling in his stomach. He liked it when Bryan called him
that. It made their connection stronger somehow. For Brent, it made them
feel more like father and son.

Matt showed up after work to check on Brent and was glad to see Steven
there. "You are looking good Steven."

"So are you Matt." Steven gave Matt a slight smile. "Damn good." Steven's
eyes traveled from Matt's handsome face over the man's body.

"I'm married, Steven." Matt chuckled at Steven's antics.

"This one is a handful...or just a damn fool." Jed patted his nephew's
shoulder.

It was not long after Matt arrived that Alex showed up. "Damn, it's a party
in here."

"Alex, I wasn't expecting you to come back." Brent knew Alex had been the
one sitting with him every night. Now that he was more alert he could
remember waking up and finding Alex by his bed.

"Just checking on you." Alex moved to Brent's bed. He placed a hand on
Brent's shoulder. He felt Brent flinch. "Sorry, I forgot. I'll start
warning you again."

"Warning him?" Steven looked from Brent to Alex. He had to say that Alex
was more handsome in person than in the few pictures that Brent had shared.

"This is Steven," Brent said, indicating his friend. "We...um...were
in...um...the clinic."

Alex held out his hand across Brent's bed. "Nice to meet you, Steven."

"You to Alex." Steven took the hand. He could feel a tingle as their palms
met.

"Thank you for helping Brent when you two were in the clinic." Alex gave
Steven's hand a firm squeeze with his gratitude. "It means a lot to me to
know Brent had an ally in that hell hole."

"We were there for each other." Steven returned the firm squeeze. He could
feel his heart rate speeding up. Damn, this guy was so hot. He could not
believe that Brent could resist him.

Alex slowly released Steven's hand and turned his attention to
Brent. "Looks like it has been a busy day for you."

"It has. It...um...was good to see Steven."

"You do look better. Have they said when you might get out of here?"

"Um...maybe tomorrow," Brent answered Alex's question.

The nurse came in then. She was a bit surprised that there were so many
people in the room. "Oh, we cannot have this. Some of you will need to go."
Her eyes seemed to be glaring at Steven.

Steven placed his hand on Brent's shoulder. He glared back at her as if
daring her to ask him to leave.

"We are sorry," Matt said.

"Yes, we ought to be going to the hotel," Jed said.

The nurse looked away from Steven. "Yes, if some of you could come back
tomorrow. It would be better for our patient."

"Oh, I'll be staying again tonight," Alex said.

"Alex you don't have to do..." Alex did not let Brent finish.

"I'm staying. It is already arranged."

"Look, young man..."

"I'm his boyfriend," Alex said. "I'm staying." His glare was just as
defiant as the one Steven had shot her earlier.

The nurse turned her accusing gaze to Steven. "You said..."

"I am," Steven said. "I'm his boyfriend. He turned a mischievous grin on
Alex. Steven then slid his arm more tightly around Brent. "With a stud like
this, it takes two of us to keep him satisfied."

"That's right," Alex agreed. He began rubbing up and down Brent's leg. He
felt Brent tense and turned his gaze to Brent. "Sorry babe. I forgot
again. I just can't keep my hands off you."

"Guys," Matt said. "We don't need to cause a situation here." Matt was
looking at the nurse who seemed completely out of sorts.

"Steven, you can come back tomorrow," Jed said.

Bryan turned to the nurse. "Sorry about them, they are just trying to get a
reaction."

"Oh, I don't know, it might take both of us to manage Brent." Alex wiggled
his eyebrows at Steven.

"Guys, just knock it off." Brent looked from Steven to Alex.

"Whatever you say, babe." Alex gave Brent's leg a gentle squeeze.

"Come on Steven," Jed said. "Let's get out of these folks' hair. We'll come
back tomorrow before we hit the road for home."

"Alright, Uncle Jed." Steven leaned in and gave Brent a quick kiss. "See
you tomorrow."

Brent stiffened at the contact but resisted the urge to push Steven
away. He knew Steven was putting on a show. He sometimes wondered what got
into his friend. Steven always seemed to like pushing boundaries.

Alex felt a twinge of jealousy at Steven. He wanted to lean in and do the
same thing. He wanted to put his lips on Brent's.  He wanted to kiss the
blonde hard, deep, and long. He considered doing it but he also did not
want to make Brent uncomfortable.

"It was nice to meet you, Alex," Steven said. "Thanks for being such a good
guy."

"You to Steven," Alex said.

"I'm going to head home too," Bryan said. "I'll be back in the morning."

"Thanks, Bryan," Brent said.

Matt stayed long enough to make sure Brent was comfortable and to talk to
Dr. Drake when he came by to check in on Brent.

"You are looking better," Dr. Drake said. He could tell that Brent was
physically recovering from the injury. He was still not sure about Brent's
emotional recovery.

"It's been...well a hell of a few days." Brent looked at
Dr. Drake. "I...um...well feel better. The doctor said I can go home
if...um...you think I'm ready."

Dr. Drake glanced from Matt to Alex and then to Brent. "It looks like you
have quite a bit of support."

"He does," Alex said. Alex turned to Brent. "I'm going to touch your hand."
Alex took Brent's hand in his own. "I'm here for him no matter what."

"How about giving us some time alone," Dr. Drake looked from Alex to Matt.

"We can do that," Matt said. He placed a hand on Alex's shoulder. "Let's
get a cup of coffee and some snacks. If you're spending the night, you
might want something to munch on."

"Um...sure." Alex turned to Brent. "I won't be gone too long." Alex wanted
to lean in and kiss Brent. He only hesitated because he did not want to
cause Brent any distress.

"You don't have to..." Brent started to protest Alex staying but stopped
when Alex put up his hand.

"Let's not start that again. I'm staying."

"Come on Alex," Matt said, "let's give them some time."

Dr. Drake waited for both Matt and Alex to leave before he started
speaking. "That man cares about you so much."

"Do you think so?" Brent looked at Dr. Drake. "I...um...am not sure
why. I'm so..."

"Brent, we are all messed up to some extent. Both Matt and Alex love
you. Matt thinks of you as his son. Alex loves you in that special romantic
way."

"You, um, really think so. We haven't...um...well done anything
physical..."

"Brent, stop associating the physical act with the emotion."

"I've tried to push him away. I'm still so...um...in love with...with..."
Brent was hesitant to say the name. He did not want to chance fate with the
admission.

"Does Devyn feel the same?" Dr. Drake had already learned from Matt about
Devyn's being alive. It had probably been one of the best things to push
Brent onto the road to recovery.

"I don't know. He should hate me. I hate me for what I did to him."

"You said he should hate you. Does that mean he doesn't?"

"Devyn said he didn't. We didn't get much of a chance to talk." Brent had
still been heavily medicated when Devyn had been there. He had to fight
through the fogginess to talk to Devyn. "He...um...said he'd be
back. He's...um...going to call..."

"How does Alex feel about that?" Dr. Drake was watching Brent closely.

"I...um...haven't told him that yet. I...um...don't want to hurt Alex any
more than I already have."

"Think about this Brent." Dr. Drake paused for a moment to make sure Brent
was listening. "You have all these people that love you. Matt and Bryan
think of you as their son. Their feelings for you could not be any stronger
if you were biologically their son. I spoke to Matt's mom and to her you
are her grandson. It is obvious from the way Alex looks at you that he
cares deeply for you. Now Devyn is back in your life. He doesn't hate you
and he probably loves you at least to some extent. You are probably the
patient with the most support. Why do you feel so unworthy of all this
love?"

Brent looked down at his hands. He was not sure how to answer
Dr. Drake. "I, I don't know."

"I think it is from Wilson. She put it in your head that being gay makes
you unworthy. Well, it seems that there is a damn extensive line of people
that think that is bull shit.  Yes, I said bull shit."

Brent's lips twitched at the doctor's tone and phrasing. "I...well..."

"There are probably even more that I haven't mentioned."

"I think you can add Steven to that list. He...um...showed up today. He
was...well pissed at me. He thinks that I need to get over...how did he say
it...the pity party."

"Steven, is that the boy you were in that hell hole with?" Dr. Drake
refused to speak of Wilson as a doctor or her facility as a clinic.

Brent chuckled. "Yes, that is him. I actually thought he might deck me."

"I think I like this young man."

"He's gotten a bit...um...well campy I guess is the right word."

"Sounds like since he's out of the clinic he's embracing being gay."

"I guess he is...he's looking at every guy as though...well there's a
potential...um...fuck."

Dr. Drake laughed. "Well, he might want to show some manners before he's
accused of sexual harassment."

"He has always liked pushing the boundaries. I think that's why he ended up
in the clinic." Brent continued talking about Steven and how the redhead
had always fought Wilson's treatment. "I think it was him standing up to
her that helped me stand my ground with her. He helped keep my sanity in
there."

"He sounds like a remarkable friend."

"He's the best."

They continued talking until Matt and Alex came back into the
room. "Um...did we give you enough time?" Matt looked from Brent to
Dr. Drake.

"Yes, we had a good talk," Dr. Drake rose from the chair next to Brent's
bed.

"Um...do you think I could go home tomorrow?" Brent was tired of being in
the hospital. He knew it had only been a little while but he was ready to
go back home.

"I think you can tomorrow." Dr. Drake gave Brent's shoulder a squeeze. He
felt Brent tense and could tell the teenager had to fight down the reaction
to pull away.

"Thanks, Dr. Drake."

Alex took the chair that Dr. Drake vacated. "It's going to be good to have
you out of here."

"I agree with that," Matt said. He had taken the seat on the other side of
Brent's bed.

The three chatted until Matt decided it was time for him to go home. "I'll
be working tomorrow. I may stop by on the way into the office..."

"Oh, you don't have to, Matt." Brent was worried about how much of a burden
he was on Matt's work schedule. "I'll be fine."

"Well, if I don't, Bryan will be here early. He's going to want to get you
home."

Matt left, leaving Alex and Brent alone. "I'm glad you are more awake this
time. I like watching you sleep but I also like talking to you."

"Alex, you don't have to stay."

"Brent, don't start that again. I'm here and I'm staying."

"What about that nurse? She didn't seem to like all the company."

"Oh, she can dislike it all she wants. The fact is I have permission from
your doctor and the hospital CEO. He's not going to do anything to risk his
job."

Brent shook his head. "You like throwing around that Caldwell influence,
don't you."

"What's the point of having it if I can't help the people I love." Alex
reached out to take Brent's hand. He paused just before his hand closed on
Brent's. "I'm going to take your hand." Alex took Brent's hand in his. "I
do love you. I wish I had been there for you."

"Damn Alex, I pushed you away. It isn't your fault that I got hurt."

"I should have been pushier. I should have shown up at your door so we
could have talked about the fight."

Brent looked down at the hand Alex was holding. He looked at Alex's
manicured fingernails. He could feel tenderness and strength in that
hand. "It was my fault, Alex. I was...well...I was hurting and I took it
out on you. I'm sorry for that."

"I understand Brent. We take out our hurts on the ones that love us the
most."

"Alex, why, why do you put up with this? I've been..."

"I'm going to touch you." Alex reached out and lightly squeezed Brent's
leg. "I know you don't yet remember but we had a connection. There was
something special between us when we first saw each other at the theater."

"I wish I could remember that." Brent tried but he could just not pull the
memory forward from the deep place it was hiding inside his mind.

"I wish you would too but I believe you will." Alex gave Brent's leg a soft
squeeze.

"You are always so optimistic. It is...well...annoying."

Alex's lips curved up into a smile. "Good, you always found me a bit
annoying but you loved me anyway."

Brent could not help but smile at Alex. There was something about the
guy. Brent was not sure it was love but he was sure he liked having Alex as
a friend. "Alex...um...thanks for...um...being so..."

"Persistent?" Alex suggested.

"Yes. Thanks." Brent's voice was getting a bit groggy. He was not on as
much pain medication now but the nurse had just given him another round
before Matt had left.

"You are sounding sleepy. Go on and sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Brent moved his hand to Alex's which was still resting on his leg. "Thanks,
Alex."

Alex watched as Brent drifted off to sleep. He leaned in and lightly kissed
Brent's hand that was resting on his own hand. "Sweet dreams."

Alex was good to his word. The next morning, he was still sitting there
next to Brent's bed. He looked just as together as he had when Brent had
drifted off to sleep the night before.

"Hey, sleepy boy," Alex said. "It's early but I'm glad you are starting to
wake up."

"Did you sleep at all?" Brent was a bit concerned that Alex would be
wearing himself out. He did not look like it but Brent guessed that Alex
would hide that from him.

"I did sleep some. That cute night nurse was in a couple of times. He's got
a hot...well you know."

"Geez!" Brent rolled his eyes. "You sound like Steven now. He seems to be
checking out every beefcake between here and Montana."

"I think I like Steven. He seems to have helped put you in a good frame of
mind." Alex liked the way Brent's blue eyes had some of their old sparkle
back. He hoped that more of that would return.

Brent wondered if it had been seeing Steven again or if it had been having
Devyn back in his life. That was still so up in the air. Brent was still so
unsure how they fit back into each other's lives.

"I am going to have to take off soon," Alex said. "I've got an early
morning class."

"I understand. You don't need to stay..." Brent's words were cut off as the
nurse came into the room.

"I just wanted to check on you before my shift ended." The man moved over
to Brent. "It's good to see you awake."

"You aren't here to give me more pain stuff, are you?" Brent wanted to stay
a little less foggy today. He hoped he was still getting to go home today.

"Are you in pain?" The man's eyes looked a little concerned.

"No, not really. Just if I move too fast or something like that."

The man set about taking Brent's vitals. He kept glancing at Alex. His
glances were not accusatory like the nurse from yesterday. Brent wondered
if the man was checking Alex out. Brent was not getting a gay vibe from him
but Brent's gay radar had never been all that good.

"Everything looks good." The man was entering the data into the
computer. "Looks like you are being discharged today."

"That is great," Alex said.

Just before Alex left, Bryan showed up. Then shortly after Bryan arrived,
Steven and his Uncle Jed were there to visit Brent.

"You're lookin' some better today," Jed said.

"I feel a bit better."

"That's good," Steven said. "Uncle Jed said we couldn't stay too long this
morning. We've got to head back."

"I understand," Brent said.

"Let me take you to get some breakfast," Bryan told Jed. "We can let the
boys talk a bit."

"Sure, sounds good to me." Jed followed Bryan from Brent's hospital room.

"Are you really feeling better?" Steven was looking directly into Brent's
eyes.

"I am," Brent confirmed.

"Did you and Alex fool around a bit last night?" Steven's lips were curved
up into a knowing grin.

"Geez Steven. No."

"Well, he's so damn hot. Those photos you messaged me did not do him
justice. I'd have definitely been playing doctor with him last night."

"Yeah, when a nurse could walk in at any moment."

"Hell, that night nurse was hot. Maybe he'd have joined in. They could have
both been...um...examining every one of your body parts."

"Shit!" Brent could not help but chuckle at Steven. It hurt a bit to laugh
but it also felt good. He had not done that for so long.

Steven's voice took on a more serious tone. "You know, I think he does love
you. Alex I mean. I could tell by how he was looking at you. I also saw a
little flare of jealousy when I touched you."

"Yeah, I think he does." Brent looked towards the window. He was not sure
how he felt about the fact that Alex cared for him so deeply. "I'm not sure
why."

Steven slapped his forehead. "Fuck, I thought we covered that
yesterday. You are funny, sweet, and shit hot."

"Steven..." Brent had known on some level that Steven had been interested
in having more than just a friendship but Brent did not have those feelings
for the other boy. Oh, he found Steven attractive with his deep red hair,
vivid green eyes, and creamy skin. Brent knew how smooth that skin was. He
knew Steven had virtually no body hair. Unless the teenager had started
growing some new hair since Brent had last seen him, the boy only had red
pubic hair and a few whisps in his armpits. The rest of the redhead's body
was smooth. Brent wanted to express his feelings of friendship to Steven
and not hurt the other boy, who might want more than just a deep
friendship.

Steven heard the protest in Brent's one word. He could see the concern on
Brent's face. Steven knew where they stood. He might want more but he knew
he also did not want to lose what the two of them had. The bonds they had
formed in Wilson's hell were strong enough to withstand just about anything
short of a nuclear explosion. "Well, it's true. Look, I know we've been
through enough shit together that we will never be more than best
buds. I've accepted that...although I wouldn't mind it being best buds with
benefits." Steven's green eyes glittered with the sexual thoughts he was
having. "Guys are going to find you hot. They are going to see the good
person that is in here." Steven thumbed Brent's chest just above his
heart. He did it so quickly that Brent did not even have time to
react. "That is why I love you; Alex loves you and you got two of the
hottest fucking Dads there are. They love you. You gotta knock off this
fucking pity party. It's getting damned old. Yes, your bio-Dad is a fucking
dick wad, and mines dead." Steven swallowed past the lump in his
throat. "We've all got shit but it doesn't mean we are not worthy of being
loved or letting someone love us."

"I know that but I just feel..."

"That feeling of self-loathing is what Wilson put in there. Kick that
fucking cunt out of your head." Steven's voice had risen in tempo as he
spoke. "She is not worth this. You are giving her all the power. Take it
back. Take it back or I will kick your sorry ass!"

The room was silent for a while. Steven's fire had run its course and Brent
was considering what Steven had said.

"You know in one part of my head; I know everything you are saying is
true. But the other part...well..."

"I know it's hard." Steven's voice was back to a normal pitch now. "We are
all here to help you. Me, Alex, Matt, and Bryan. I'm only a phone call away
and now you even got Devyn back in your life."

"Yeah, I do. He's...well...he's better than I deserve."

"Bull shit," Steven said adamantly. "No one is better than you deserve. My
bud only deserves the best."

Brent snickered a bit. He had forgotten how Steven could give him
encouragement and strength. If they had not been through hell together,
Brent wondered if they might have had a chance at more than just
friends. "Thanks."

"Is it that you are still in love with Devyn? Is that why you aren't
letting Alex in?" Steven had wondered for a while if Brent had been pushing
Alex away because of his feelings for Devyn. Steven knew those feelings
were strong. It had been seeing that picture of Devyn that had unlocked
part of Brent's memories.

Brent looked away from Steven's penetrating gaze. He looked down. "I do
still love him. I know that. I regret how I fucked up things with him. If I
had it to do over..."

"We all wish we could change something." Steven could see the pain in his
friend's eyes. He wished he had Brent's problem with having these two
super-hot guys interested in him. It did not hurt that both guys sounded
just as sweet as they were hot.

"I hurt him so badly that day." Brent could still see Devyn standing there
in his living room. He had seen the hurt look on Devyn's face and then he
had seen the eyes that had always shown so much love for Brent turn to
anger at Brent. "Devyn said he forgave me but how could he? I was a fucking
dick."

"We forgive the ones we love." Steven reached out and took Brent's hand. He
felt Brent reflexively start to pull away but Steven held on
tighter. "That's why I forgive you for being so stupid you ended up here."

"Geez thanks." Brent took a more serious tone. "How can I let either of
them love me if I...if I can't...well...you know...um...well...um."

"Have an orgasm?" Steven supplied the words. "Brent it was hard for me
too. I had to work at it. It was frustrating. That bitch did a number on
both of us." Steven shuddered at the memory of what Wilson had put him and
Brent through.

"Steven, have you ever...um...cum in a dream. I mean in the dream and in
reality?" Brent could feel a blush starting but he knew he could ask Steven
anything.

"You mean a wet dream?" Brent nodded his head. "I can't say I've ever done
that. I know it does happen sometimes. Did it happen to you recently?"

Brent nodded his head. "It was about this guy all I knew was his name was
Cody. He was hot and we...um...were..."

"Fucking and sucking," Steven supplied. Steven arched an eyebrow and his
lips twitched at the corners. He wished he had been having such vivid
dreams that he had climaxed. Steven had to work up his orgasm with just his
hand.

Brent nodded. "He was hot and I felt some strong connection with him. When
I woke up, my underwear was wet with my cum." Brent could feel his ears
burning and knew he had to be pink. He knew he could tell Steven anything
but he was still a bit embarrassed by the admission. "All I remember was
his name. I couldn't decide if he was real or a fantasy."

"He sounds like a hot fucking fantasy."

"I was stupid. I asked my parents about the name. He was apparently real."

"Holy shit. Even better. Maybe more of your memory is coming back."

"I think my parents must have known that this Cody and I had some sort of
relationship. My dad called him a few names and then told me about Devyn
being dead. He wanted to hurt me, Steven. He wanted it. He hates me. He
hates me. He hates having a queer for a son."

Steven could hear the tears in Brent's voice. He could also see them
glistening in Brent's blue eyes. "Well, fuck him. I said it before, he's a
prick. I know it hurts Brent. I know that. But look you lost him but you
got Matt and Bryan. Hell, you and Bryan look enough alike that everyone
probably thinks he's your biological dad."

"I wish he was." Since coming to live with Matt and Bryan, this was not the
first time that Brent had wished for Bryan to be his dad.

"You don't have to wish. So, what if you don't share blood? You share more
than that. He loves you and so does Matt. Hell, you should have heard how
bad Matt sounded when he called me. There was real fear in his voice. He
was hurt that you were hurt."

"I haven't treated them well these last few weeks." Brent felt guilty at
how rude he had been to the two men. He cared for them so much and they
seemed to care deeply for him.

"Well, see, that is something you can fix. Treat them well now. Be their
son. Be Alex's boyfriend...or Devyn's. I'm not sure Devyn could be hotter
than Alex..."

"He is. He really is."

"Shit. You lucky fuck. All of these hot men. Throw some my way. All I got
is Jessie and he's fucking straight."

"Jessie's the new ranch hand, right?"

"Yes, if he wasn't straight...well...I probably still wouldn't be able to
nail him but at least then there might be a remote chance."

"You're a bit...um...eager to...um..."

"Well fuck. Hell yeah, I've worked hard at overcoming what that twat did to
us. I'm going to enjoy it whenever I can."

"So do you...um...jerk off?"

"Yes." Steven's voice took on a more serious tone. He knew this was where
Brent was concerned.

"I've tried but other than that one time in my sleep...I haven't been able
to..."

"It took me a lot of effort," Steven said. "I had to work at it."

"Who's going to want a limp dick boyfriend." Brent could feel his neck
burning. He knew he had to be pink with what he was telling Steven.

"I think just from the little I know of Alex and from the way that man
looks at you, he will understand. I'm sure he would be willing to
experiment and try anything."

"He probably would."

"Plus, Brent, even if you don't climax, you can help him climax. Part of
the enjoyment is giving the other person that pleasure too."

"I guess that's true."

"I think if you give them a chance to help you, you will find you can
overcome this. With two hotties like Alex or Devyn, I think you will find
it easier than I did. I had no one offering to help me. I had to watch porn
and just use my hand." Steven held up his right hand. "It does a decent job
but someone else's hand...well that would be better. Even better would be
their mouth."

Brent wondered if he should have tried with Alex. He knew Alex would not
have minded and if Alex had enjoyed it to a climax then at least one of
them would have enjoyed the sex.

"I think you need to try it with someone. Hell, if we had time..."

"Shit Steven..."

"Well, right now Brent. We've been through hell. It might be the ultimate
test. I mean if I can get you off, then it should be easier with Devyn or
Alex...hell maybe both of them. You could be the blonde bread in their
sandwich."

"My god what has happened to you on that ranch."

Steven leaned in closer and dropped his voice. "Watching all of those
animals going at it has given me naughty ideas."

"The scary thing is...I'm not sure you're totally joking."

"Well, neither am I." Steven laughed. "Actually, it is Jessie that has
given me those ideas." Steven glanced at the door and then pulled out his
phone. "Look at this." Steven pulled a photo up on his phone that he had
taken of Jessie.

"He is damn good-looking." Brent had to agree with that.

"Yeah, well check this out." Steven swiped around on his phone and brought
up a second picture.

Brent looked at the image. It was the same man but this time he was
shirtless and carrying what looked like a couple of buckets. The man's body
was defined with hard muscles. His chest was tan and smooth. There was a
dark treasure trail leading from the man's navel down into his jeans.

"Hot right." Steven looked at the photo. "Makes me hot. I want to suck on
those nipples and lick that hair under his belly button."

"He's hot. That six-pack is definitely a turn-on."

"Yeah, well take a look at this." Steven held out his phone to Brent.

"Holly shit Steven! That's his ass...I mean his bare ass."

"Yeah, those cheeks could break fucking bricks. That has to be true buns of
steel." Steven rubbed himself through his jeans. "Would love to tongue that
trench."

Brent had to agree this man had a hot ass. "How the hell did you get that?"

"I was walking past the bunkhouse one night. The bunkhouse is where Uncle
Jed puts up any hired hands. It's fairly big but we've only got a few hired
men at a time. The building was around since before all the technological
stuff came along."

"Steven, how'd you get the PICTURE?"

"Well, like I said I was going by and I just happened to glance through the
window. I saw Jessie coming from the shower room. He had nothing on but a
towel around his waist. I wasn't even thinking, I pulled my phone out and
got closer to the window. When he saw he was alone he pulled off the towel
and that's when I shot the picture. I just wish he hadn't turned away from
the window before pulling off that towel. I wanted to see what he has
between his legs. It fills out his jeans damn nice."

"Fuck Steven, you're. You're...stalking the guy or something."

Steven looked back at the bare ass on the screen of his phone. "I told you
he likes putting on a show for me. He's always shirtless and showing off
for me. I think he'd be alright with me jacking off to his hot ass."

Brent shook his head. "I hope you don't get caught. He might kick your
ass."

"I...um...don't think so."

Brent was not sure Steven sounded as sure as he wanted to sound with that
statement. "Well, stop taking risks like that. Plus, it's a little creepy."

"Yeah, it probably is. If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done
it. It was just something I did impulsively. It is hot though isn't it."

"It is." Brent did not get a chance to say more as Bryan and Jed came back
into the room.

"Did you two get all your jawing done?" Jed asked the two teenagers.

"Yeah, Uncle Jed. Thanks for taking the time to bring me."

"It's alright," Jed said. He patted Steven's back. "I know he's a true
friend." The man then turned to Bryan. "How about next time you come and
visit us."

"We'd like that," Bryan said.

"Hey, come up for Christmas," Steven supplied. "It will be awesome. We can
all bunk in the bunkhouse."

"That would be cool," Brent agreed. He was sure that Steven had an ulterior
motive for having them sleeping in the bunkhouse.

"Now, that's a right good idea," Jed said. "We'd like to have you folks
there for the holidays."

Bryan looked at Brent and thought he saw some interest in the boy visiting
Steven. "It might be good to get away. I'll talk to Matt and let you
know. Some of it might depend on his work schedule."

"You all are welcome to come visit anytime. With these boys kind of like
brothers, they should spend the holidays together."

"We will let you know." Bryan appreciated Jed's offer. He thought Matt
would like the change of scene.

"I hope it works out," Steven said just before he was about to leave with
his uncle. "I've missed you these past several months."

"I've missed you too," Brent said.

"I'm going to hug you," Steven moved in and hugged Brent. "Call me."

"I will." Brent returned Steven's hug. With the warning, he had time to
prepare for the physical contact.

"If I don't hear from you, I'll be back to kick your ass."

"I will behave."

Steven leaned in close so only Brent could hear him. "Fool around with Alex
and see how far things go...oh and if you get the chance, send me a
picture. He's got a hot ass too."

"Get out of here." Brent could not help but laugh. He shook his head.

# # #
# # #
Copyright 2023 by Keith yates (keith.96@att.net) all rights reserved.
No copying, reposting, or distributing is permitted without the author's written consent.

Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it. Thomas Paine

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo
the fatigue of supporting it. Thomas Paine

To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and
whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like
administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by
scripture. Thomas Paine

  Character is much easier kept than recovered. Thomas Paine