That morning, I woke up especially early, even being a Saturday and took a look at the mirror.
"That's you, Chris..." I was thinking to myself, cooper color hair – if it exists *giggle* - very straight, falling some in my eyes, green eyes, very green, never asked for them, but they remind of mom, we've always had the same green eyes, I like my nose too... I wish I was hunk like Trevor, or hot blond hunk like Bruce or... sigh... but that's me... not that I'm not `decent', I mean, I have a decent body... still no olive skin here, only from pale to reddish, back to pale... In white t-shirt and blue jeans, sneakers... took my bag and off I went.
I would go to school to check if there was some extra training for the football team... well, that's what I would tell dad if he asked but I didn't see him that morning... sigh... again.
Actually I knew there would be no training on Saturday morning, after typical Friday night out drinking the guys from the team sure had... so, I had some of my writing, my lyrics with me, on my bag, and one book, just in case.
As I arrived at school it was empty... I have some `thinking spots', like the beach, close to my... dad's... er... our beach house. So I went to one of them... I went to the football field, to the benches, just to watch the low sun of December, slowly raising in the sky along with the wintry breeze that spread the leaves on the field and brushed against my hair and my cold cheek.
I was wearing a jacket but `though I was in the sun, I didn't feel like dropping it...
I decided I should fill my water bottle before I start the day... I know it may sound `sissy' somehow – that's why I avoid this kind of comments... but only in my thoughts – well, it's poetical somehow when the usually crowded school is all silent as the morning light enters by the windows glasses. It's just the calm perfect atmosphere for writing, or reading a book... or composing some scratches...
As I was filling my water bottle I heard a loud noise.
It seems it was coming from the other hall. I went there to check and the music club kids were there. It seems it was rehearsal time. Well, weren't rehearsal days on the same days as football practice? I quickly thought to myself.
As I cautiously approached the door... I mean, I didn't want to help, didn't ponder that, but I guess just to check out of curiosity and, okaaay to help if someone got hurt, injured... something fell on the floor, it seems, from the noise...
As I entered the room, it seems someone had dropped a chair on the drums and they didn't seem cool about replacing the drum items back in position.
"Gosh, I hope it doesn't ruin our rehearsal, I mean, the Christmas presentation is already next Wednesday, guys!" Mrs. Jenkins was saying.
She didn't look cool, you know, a lady in glasses, lilac shawl and blue skirt, but she was `cool', in her manner, from the inside, you know?! I mean, I'm suspicious because I do think coach Thompson is special, but he's harsh on the guys... maybe part of his job, but Mrs. Jenkins is so kind when she talks to people. Last time she talked to me she was very nice, and actually I kinda run away... maybe I'm not used to that. I didn't want to get involved but helping settling the drums wouldn't hurt!
"Hi." I said by the door.
Everybody stared at me... maybe it would be better if I just didn't say anything... anyways, already spoken.
"Do you need some help?" I asked.
"Oh, we need someone who understand about music, band... oh and Mr. Johnson isn't here today... oh, of course, it's a Saturday..."
"Maybe, I can help". I replied.
"Oh, do you participate on the music classes? Never saw you here..." she said in surprise.
"Ah, it's just that I have some drums of mine at home, too." I said with a light smile.
"And how come you don't participate with us?" she asked, more like an invitation.
"It's just that... it's just that... football practice is at the same time." I was saying while she was nodding "...and dad likes that I practice after classes..." I trailed off.
"Oh, I see..." she said placing one hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to say anything else." she smiled at me and motioned towards the drums. "Please?" she finished, never losing the smile. It reminded of my grandmother... I don't see her very often.
With that, I kneeled to start placing the bolts back in place. I greeted all the kids, briefly.
"Okay guys, now, thanks to Chris, we can rehearse." Mrs. Jenkins said and there was an applause. I blushed, slightly and looked at the floor, but I guess no one noticed, right?!
"So, we're here Sarah, George, Jordan... you guys here... where's Toshiro, guys?" Mrs. Jenkins was saying.
"Oh, he is sick, he's got a sore throat since yesterday, teacher." one of the guys replied.
"Oh my... we're not going to make it this way."
"I can replace him... I mean, only for the rehearsal." I know I shouldn't have said anything but when I realized the words left my mouth.
"Oh, here, the guitar. Can you play the guitar?" Mrs. Jenkins asked.
"A little, I guess." I replied.
"Great." she said with a smile, let's start!
All too soon it was almost midday and hey, it was a lot of fun.
After high-fives with all the guys from the club I said goodbye and I was off the door.
"Chris?!" Mrs. Jenkins called me.
"Come and join us to the next rehearsal, ok?" she invited me.
"I don't know if I can... there's football practice and..." I trailed off.
"It would help us a lot, think about it, k?" she finished with a smile and a wink. I just nodded and headed back home.
Sitting on the field benches and watch the horizon, write something, reading something, as the wintry breeze ruffled my hair would be nice, but playing and singing, it `soothes the soul', you know.
I just knew I had to vanish this idea from my head... one would think `ow, Chris is doing it just to please his dad'... but, you know, the old man is going through a lot, and s'only me and him at home... I know he wants me in the team and if it makes him happy... well...
But, that's good, the afternoon plan then is playing some good'ol Slipknot on the drums when I arrive home... well, yeah, I do have the drums at home... and the bass, and a guitar, and a clavier... it's just that dad gave me all of those and well, I like'em, I can play'em, but only when I'm at home... mostly I don't feel like doing it lately.
As I stepped inside, the phone rang.
"Hello?" I got the phone.
"Is Chris there?"
"Peeeter!? Ahem... I mean, hey, Peter, what's up?" I said.
I giggled and he giggled at the same time, dunno why...
"Mmm... hi, yeah..." he continued.
Wow, gorgeous Peter, blond, cool, blue eyes, peach fuzz skin, flat abs, broad shoulders... sigh... calling *me*. Gee, Chris, quit the silence, say something, I was mentally kicking myself.
"So..." we said at the same time.
"Oh, you first." I replied.
"No, you first." he replied me.
"Er... is your father ok?" he asked.
"Yeah, why? Did your mom asked you to call me to know about him?" I asked back.
Like I said before, mom works a dad's office.
"Nooo, it's not that". he replied.
I was thinking to myself, `he could invite me to his place... I could invite him here... but no, I asked all the week long and he declined... but maybe it was only because he was really busy... but c'mon Chris, when people decline your invitation repeatedly it's `cause they don't want to come over nor anything... sigh...
"Ah, the science project!" he exclaimed.
"But... isn't it finished already? We concluded it last Tuesday..." I trailed off... I don't know why I'm so silly, the ONLY subject we have in common...
"Yeah... I mean, no... I mean... there are things missing..." he quickly replied.
"Missing? Like what?" I asked.
Gee, other than beautiful, he was so polite... and gee, his voice is beautiful on the phone, just noticed it now.
"Er... not `missing missing' you know? I... I thought we could improve it, that's it improve it!" he finished the sentence.
"Like how? What do you suggest, Peter?" I inquired.
There was a silence. Now I was being lazy too, I mean, I should know what's missing... even if this is our only subject in common... maybe... I mean, even more so due to this, this is about Peter!
"Dinosaurs!" he exclaimed.
"Don't you like dinosaurs? Don't you think they're fun... like cool?!" he asked.
"Yeah... sure... but what does it have to do with our science project?" I asked.
"It's a volcano, right? And it has trees around it, right?" he was saying and I was only saying `aham' on the other side.
"So, I thought we should buy some dinosaurs to put close to the trees, you know?" he concluded.
"Ah, I see. But where can we buy it?" I asked.
"We could go downtown to look for it. What do you say?" he invited me.
`Wow, an invitation from Peter, stop hyperventilating' I was thinking to myself, in silence
"Cool!" I replied and when he said `bye' I felt like holding the phone against my chest and hug it tight, but gee, I needed to shower, put other clothes, get `more beautiful', but nooo, I didn't want to be late.
We met in downtown and damn it, I should've worn another set of clothes. Peter looked sooo perfect, in red jacket, dark blue jeans along with silk blond hair and piercing blue eyes... ah and a smile to die for!
We ended up having a lot of fun going to toy stories to look for dinosaurs. I admit I `didn't like' the dinosaurs in the first three stores we went to, just to be able to keep walking a little more beside him, and looking at him, and smelling that strawberry along with clean clothes and shampoo smell when the breeze hit his blond straight locks, close to his cheeks... sigh.
Actually it was a lot of fun. We ended up going to another store, we bought three mini dinosaurs to put around the volcano model, in the project and we stopped at the parlor.
"Which flavor are you gonna chose?" he asked me as we were by the counter, choosing.
"I don't know. Which flavor are you gonna chose?" I asked back.
"Mmmm... I don't know. You choose first." he said.
"But I wanna choose the same you do." I replied. Gee, Chris, it sounded so stupid. I mentally kicked myself, but I couldn't help. I mean, how would you react if your Hollywood star idol went to the parlor along with you, you know?!
I know I should stop thinking rubbish, because first of all, Peter is straight and er... second of all, Peter is straight and... he's so gorgeous, never would want anything with me... however, I sighed as I watched him lick the ice cream and his lips got all reddish and sweet (I assume as I never kissed him... sigh).
He was kind of quiet and that didn't make things any easier. I had to concentrate to not to say stupid stuff and, on the top of that, to come up with some conversation. "You live close to school. It saves you a great deal of a problem, huh." I said. I know, silly me, but that's the best I could do.
"Yeah, it saves some time." he simply replied.
Say something Chris, say something... I was mentally kicking myself.
"Look, there's a house for sale." I pointed out. Sigh, gee, thank you, we're already in front of his place.
"I didn't notice it. They should've put the ad there just a couple of days ago." he replied.
"Come in". he said as we arrived.
"Do you want some water, juice...?" he asked.
"Let's go upstairs to `re-finish' our project." he said with a chuckle. I just followed him.
I was sitting on my bed, looking all around and not looking at anything, like `looking at the blank', at the same time, you know.
"It must be hard for you to have so high grades, be a good student, and practice at the football team..." he was commenting while he was settling the project on my desk.
"Chris?" he insisted as I zoned out, between my thoughts on the subjects he touched and his beautiful face features.
"It's difficult..." I started. "It's not being easy this year, with the guys and there's a lot of homework... and actually, since last season we haven't been doing fine... maybe a lot of it is my failure..." I was saying.
"Hey, I don't think it is true." he replied, always so kind.
"Well, actually it is... as you said yourself the other day... everybody say that ball I missed during the last game, last season, and the `given touchdown' I missed on the game before that..." I trailed off and shrugged.
"But I'm sure your dad is proud of you." he continued.
"Yeah... I guess." I shrugged and looked at the floor. It would be better than saying no, and saying no would still be better than saying `he barely knows what I do and I barely seem him...
"But your mother must be very proud... I mean, every mom would love to have her kid at the football team and with a straight-A result during classes". he giggled and smiled at me with a warm smile, you know.
"Actually, mom passed away last year." I replied and looked at him – gee, very blue eyes, really... I shrugged and looked at his side for a moment. I don't know whether it was a sad feeling or a `not belonging one'. I mean, it's uncool commenting about it with the guys from the team, my mates from school... you know, I mean, it would be a `sissy' topic.
A normal guy from the team would reckon people die, period. And I should move on and get hunk, and win the prize... but honestly with them, difficult task... however, I don't know if there's a `moving on and not crying' male's rule exception for moms...
As I looked at the floor again, I let the toy dinosaurs I was holding my his hands fall on the floor. As I tried to catch them, by reflex, they ended up right behind Peter's bed.
"Hey, sorry, my bad. Where is it?" I said as I kneeled beside the bed and put my head under the bed.
"There are some boxes here, let me help you looking for it." he said.
"Got it, got it." I said and was holding the toy in my hand.
Peter kinda pulled me by the arm and when I realized he was kneeling upon my navel, both of us on the floor.
"There's some dust on your hair... let me" he said with a smile, and lightly took two or three grains of dust out of it, close to my face and my ear.
Gee, his blue eyes, Chris, you shouldn't be looking so much, so close.
Wow, Peter's touch... he was kneeling on my torso, like overpowering me and that was his touch and I was so close to his tight... to his... crotch *blush*
"Peter... I..." I started.
"I gotta go..." I said and averted my gaze from his eyes. "I better get going." I said, never looking in his eye again, afraid to lose control and try to kiss him and that he'd call me names, and I would never get to see him again, even from some `male safe distance' it's better than nothing and... I would start tear up if I didn't leave.
"Ah, okay, sorry." he said, getting up, so I got up and quickly went downstairs and as he opened the door for me, I don't know if I was too harsh not to say proper goodbye but I left and the tears started running, slowly on my cheeks as the cold breeze blew my tears and my hair on the way home.