Date: Wed, 3 Sep 2003 09:08:20 -0700 (PDT) From: JMH Subject: The Watch/Circle the Noun chp1 (highschool) It has taken me longer to finally get this story ready but I hope you are happy with the product. This story is the follow up to "The Watch" which appeared in the Beginnings section of Nifty. A lot that happened in "The Watch" shows up in "Circle the Noun" but I tried to write enough background info so that reading "The Watch" is not necessary to understanding the story. Still it would help give you, the reader, a greater understanding of why things are happening if "The Watch" is read esp. the first half of it. Still even if you are a newcomer to this series I hope you find it understandable and enjoyable. Email me what you think... thanks. Again, this is a story about gay relationships so 1. if you are breaking the law, underage, or just hate gay stuff don't read any further. The World Wide Web is a big place so you can find something else. 2. The story is not based on any real person place thing, or another person's idea. So any similarities are pure chance. 3. Since this story is of my own creation, I have the copyright to it. No other postings, except at nifty, are allowed. Nor is the selling of the story to others permitted. Any questions about the above, please write. Enjoy JMH trandar2002@yahoo.com ***************************************************** Circle the Noun Time changes many things. Things that once seemed bearable become intolerable. Feelings long hidden are forced out into the open. Jealousy spreads into a rot that poisons the soul. What once seemed impossible is finally given a chance to be. The mistakes of the past come back to haunt but there is always a chance to make better choices. Josh made a hard decision 12 years ago and now he is facing the results. His son, Nathan, sees two futures before him and must choose one of them. Andrew is filled with bitterness as a result of watching Josh still being in love with Robert for over a decade at this point. Greg, Andrew's son, is desperate to find friends of his own. David, Mike's son, finally has to come to terms with his own feelings and what family means before he goes off to college. All of them need to find again what is important to them. ********************************* Noun: a word that defines a person, place, thing, or idea It seemed that each year started the same. The teacher would pass out a work sheet and have the student's circle, underline, cross out, or box this or that word. For Greg, who never was good at English, it was always a struggle for him to find the noun. For example: 1. John thought he could go to the circus. 2. John always had happy thoughts after helping his family. For the first one the word "thought" was a verb but in the second, "thought" was a noun. The concept that a word could be both a verb and a noun was still beyond him. It was this fact that left Greg in remedial high school English. It was while he was struggling with the assignment that Greg turned to doodling. Art was his favorite subject. In fact it was the only class he could tolerate. Often, Greg would lose track of time and end up not finishing a test or assignment. Today was no exception. The walls of the classroom were covered with Greg's portraits of the other students in the class. The teacher, Mrs. Henderson, liked Greg even though he did poorly in her class and felt she was helping his fragile self-esteem by posting his pictures. Usually Greg would pick out an object in the classroom but today there was a new student in the class, a poor jock that was endanger of losing his spot on the team. Soon another picture would be stapled on the wall. Greg recognized the guy whose sketch he was now working on. He was Philip, a member of the water polo team and Nathan, his sort of brother's baseball team. The living arrangement Greg lived with his large family was one of the things that made Greg stick out like a sore thumb. Greg lived with his divorced father Andrew, his other father Josh, and Josh's son Nathan. Also living with them was Robert and Mike and their lovers Dan and Patrick. Mike also had a son, David, who was a year older then Greg and Nathan, a senior in high school. They all lived together in a large house in Overland Park, just outside Kansas City. As a young kid Greg and the other boys had been picked on because of their gay parents. David, who was older and large like his dad, often got into fights defending himself and his younger "brothers". Being called a fag used to really bug Greg, that was until he came to terms that he really was gay. Coming out to his dad turned out to be easy compared to other kids he knew and his brothers were very supportive. It was cool that he could talk to his parents about how hot he found some guy he saw. The only thing that his parents did to embarrass him was to sometimes invite some of the boys he was attracted to over to the house. Philip, the guy Greg was now sketching, was definitely going to be a topic of discussion with his "uncle" Robert. Philip was tall, around 6'2", short black hair, olive skin, and hazel eyes. His biceps stretched out the red t-shirt he wore with his brown shorts that showed off his shaved legs. The first sketch Greg did was of Philip topless as if he were sitting at his desk in his speedo with a good size bulge. But knowing that he would have to turn a more "neutral" drawing to his teacher, Greg quickly tore out the page in he notebook and did a quick one of Philip chewing on his pencil. As soon as the bell rang, Greg hurried out of the class leaving his "clothed" sketch on Mrs. Henderson's desk. The next class Greg had was art and since he had such a good relationship with Mr. Pulling, he knew he could be late. Greg made his way to the bathroom and locked himself in the last stall. He sat himself down but not before taking out his swimsuit sketch of Philip. It was not like Philip was unique in making Greg horny. As a 17-year-old teenager, he was always horny. It was just that his drawings just made him more so. Unlike the porn he was able to download off Robert's computer, Josh had parental control software on the others, the drawings let Greg feel closer to the subject material. With the sketch Greg knew he had felt every muscle, every hair, and every limb of the body with his pencil. It was while Greg was in mid-wack, that the bathroom door slammed against the wall and Greg heard two pair of feet enter. Quickly Greg raised his legs above the bathroom door. The last thing he wanted was to be caught jacking off to the image of another student. It turned out to be a good thing as Greg saw a shadow looking under each door. "Looks like the coast is clear," an unfamiliar voice said. "Well I guess we better get busy then," a voice that Greg knew well replied. It was his "brother" David. Soon Greg could see two shadows enter the stall next to him which was quickly followed by cloths dropping to the floor, one of them being the green plaid shirt Greg saw David go to school in. Greg could not believe what he was witnessing. David dated girls; why in the world was he doing making out with another guy. "Well duh" Greg thought to himself. "David must not be as straight as he let on." Greg's suspicions were confirmed as the unknown voice began to moan and beg David to fuck him. "Not here Thomas..." David replied to his friend's begging. "Come on David. We've been doing this since summer. When are you going to fuck me?" "When I'm ready I will. Right now, I want you to go back to sucking." "Alright but you better not call me Nate again or I swear I'll hit you." Greg did not know who this Thomas was but he definitely knew who "Nate" had to be. Nate was short for Nathan, Josh's son, Greg's sort of brother. Only two people called Nathan "Nate" and those were Josh and David. David had always been protective of Nathan and himself. Greg also knew that between them, David was closer to Nathan. Nathan had always taken David's attention as brotherly. Now though it seemed that David had more then brotherly feelings for him. Greg's mind was filled with confusion. Why was David hiding the fact that he liked men? Greg had already shown that the family could deal with it. Was it because he had sexual feelings for one of his "brothers"? It shouldn't of but Greg felt as if his world had been turned upside down. Greg had become used to being the only gay child in the family. It was as if David was poaching on his role. He bounced between being anger and puzzlement. It was only a loud moan coming from the next stall that shook Greg out of his thoughts. "Thanks hon... want me to help you finish up?" David said. "No... I'll be ok. That's unless you want to fuck me." "Sorry, I'm pretty spent," David apologized. "I'll see you after school?" "Sure." "I guess I better go looking for David after school as well" Greg thought to himself. He had to find out who this Thomas was. As soon as Greg was sure both of them were gone, he made his way out of the bathroom and hurried to class not knowing that his movement was observed. ********************************************* "Hi, Mr. Pulling," Greg waved to his favorite teacher when he entered the room. "Glad that you finally joined us," Mr. Pulling said with a weary smile. "Sorry, I was working on a sketch." "Well then you'll have to show it to me then," Mr. Pulling said as he waved Greg over to his desk. Unlike Mrs. Henderson whom Greg believed would not be amused by his swimsuit sketch, Greg could show Mr. Pulling all of his homoerotic art. For while he was married with three kids of his own, Pulling confessed to Greg to fooling around with the guys back in his college days. Greg took out the folded paper and handed it to his teacher who put in his glasses to get a better look at it. "Well this is very good Greg, the use of shadow is excellent. The only problem I see is with the musculature. It's obvious that you used your imagination with it." "What do you mean?" "Well look at the abs, you have them very built, a little too built in comparison to the rest of his body. It's not bad but it's a little out of proportion." "I guess so," Greg agreed. He didn't think he did a bad job for never seeing under Philip's shirt before. Mr. Pulling must have sensed the same. "Lets do this. I won't report you for being late for my class if you redo the drawing, but this time see if you can actually see him in the speedo." "But you've never reported me before," Greg moaned. "Well this time I am... unless you redo the sketch." "How am I to get him to pose for me in a speedo?" "I don't know. Just think of it as a date." "Thanks," Greg moaned before heading to his desk. For the rest of the class, Greg worked on drawing a flower arrangement that was in the middle of the room for the whole class to see. Greg had trouble concentrating; he was so worried on how he was going to ask Philip to pose for him. This anxiety extended into lunch as he nibbled on a hot pocket still unsure on what to do. This was when his friend Emily came by. "What's up?" She said in her annoying cheerful voice. "Hey Em," Greg replied sullenly. "Ahhhh, what boy has broken your heart?" Emily sighed. "I don't know what you're talking about," Greg said at the same time he looked down on his food. If there was one weakness Greg had it was he could never tell a lie while looking directly in a person's face. "You're lying to me," Emily admonished. "No I'm not." "Well then you're hiding something then." "..." "OK... I guess you're not going to talk to ME about it," She whined. "Anything up with you?" "Yes... As you know I'm editor of the school newspaper this year," Emily said as if just hearing those words made her day. "I know, I'm the paper cartoonist," Greg replied. "As I said you know..." She almost pouted, disappointed in her friend's lack of excitement. "Well, some fool opened the dark room when we were working on the sport teams photos, ruining the negatives. "Oh no!" Greg said with mock concern. "Oh quit it," Emily said as she slugged Greg on the shoulder. "Ouch, so what are you going to do?" "It's what you are going to do," she corrected. "I don't know what you're talking about." "Let me explain. Because the film was ruined we don't have enough money to make new pictures." "Can't you just get someone to buy the film and have one of the photo shops do them? "We could, if we had the money." "How much money is that?" "Around 50 dollars, but listen, I got an idea. You know the Wall Street Journal." "Yeah?" Greg replied not sure where the conversation was going. "Well instead of using photos they use illustrations so I was thinking..." "You want me to draw up pictures of all the team members?" Greg replied in disbelief. "Not all of them, just one member from each team." "That's still a lot of people." "But I know you can do it. Who knows you might enjoy it." "Yeah sure, I love drawing members of the girl's wrestling team," Greg said and was rewarded with a quick hit again. "Ouch, are you sure you shouldn't join that team?" "No, I'm too delicate," Emily said as she lifted her nose into the air as if to prove the point. "And you know that's not what I was referring to. I know you would sell half your soul to sketch members of the swimming team." "Swimming team?" Greg replied as the reality hit him. "Yes the boy's swimming team. I know you like your men in tight speedos." "Alright I'll do it but you need to give me some time to do it." "Good, you have three days." "What! I just told you it's going to take some time. I need to arrange meeting with the team members." "No you don't. I already arranged things for you," Emily said as she took out a piece of paper. "Here's a list of dates and times with the team that will show up." "Wait," Greg said as he looked at the list. "You have me scheduled for six teams today." "Well there are 20 teams in the school. I'm giving you only six today. You'll have seven to do tomorrow and the next day," She said as if she was doing him a favor. "20 teams, I didn't know we had that many." "Well there are. We have: 1. Football 2. Boy's soccer 3. Girl's soccer 4. Boy's tennis 5. Girl's tennis 6. Boy's basketball 7. Girl's basketball 8. Volleyball 9. Boy's wrestling 10. Girl's wrestling 11. Boy's diving 12. Girl's diving 13. Boy's swimming 14. Girl's swimming 15. Boy's water polo 16. Girl's water polo 17. Boy's baseball 18. Girl's soft ball 19. Boy's track 20. Girl's track "Ok, I believe you," Greg moaned "Well I didn't want you to think I was lying," Emily defended herself. "So will you be here to start drawing?" "Yes Em," Greg said knowing it was no use fighting. "Thanks, it's going to be great. It will give the paper some class," Emily said before leaving Greg. "I'm sure it will," Greg moaned. ******************************************************* Because he was going to be busy after school, Greg didn't have the time to find out who in the world Thomas was. He had to rush over to the gym so that he could start drawing. When he arrived, he saw that Emily had set things up for him. In the middle of the gym was a stool in front of a black background. Three athletes were already waiting for him in their uniforms. The first was the quarterback, Chris. He was friendly with Greg but was in a hurry to get to practice. Greg too wanted to rush, but because the quarterback was always a center of school focus he took his time with it. The next was Jackie, captain of the volleyball team. She complained half the time that she had to go after the quarterback. She was certain that it was a result of sexism. Third was Ted, captain of the boy's Basketball team. He was easy going and had laughed or made jokes while the first two had been drawn but when he went up he warned the onlookers not to say anything. He then took on a serious expression that added to his imposing height. When Greg finally finished with Ted, he took a ten-minute break to rest his tired hand. When he got back his heart almost stopped when he saw Philip standing by the stool, his body still wet from swimming. Greg could now see where his drawing had overstated Philip's musculature... but not by much. He was perfectly smooth, perfectly tan, and had a perfect bulge in his speedo. Greg had to hurry and put his sketchpad over his lap to hide his growing hard on. "Can we hurry? I need to get back to practice," Philip said as soon as Greg had seated himself. "Uhm sure," Greg mumbled out. He knew he needed to hurry, but as he held the charcoal in his hand he felt it shake. "Calm down Greg." He told himself under his breath. "What?" Philip asked. "It'll be done soon," Greg replied. It turned out to take quite a while. Greg just could not settle down. He ended up starting over twice before he gave up and told Philip it was done. Greg knew that he had Philip body burned into his mind. He could finish the picture when he didn't have an audience. The next person was the girl's softball captain and the last was the Boys baseball, Greg's brother Nathan. "Hey bro, are your hands tired yet?" "Hey Nathan, I didn't know they were going to send you." "Well because David is captain of both the baseball and wrestling team, Emily thought that I should pose instead." "I guess that makes sense," Greg agreed. "So how do you want me?" "Well David wants you any way he can get you," was what popped into Greg's mind but he was able to stop himself from saying it. "Whatever is comfortable." "Alright," Nathan replied as he took a seat on the stool. While Greg was sketching his brother he noticed that the glove Nathan carried with him was not the one he played with. It had the name Nate, written in large black letters, but the name did not refer to Nathan himself. The glove had been his father's, Josh, and before Josh had it, it had belonged to Josh's brother from whom Nathan had been named after. Nathan had never known Josh's parents or his brother. All three of them had died in a car accident when Josh was just a child. Josh had become an orphan that day and it had set him down a track that still affected his life. Robert, with his lover Dan, lived in the same house as Greg. Robert had also been an orphan. It was at summer camp where Josh and Robert had first met before being separated when Josh was finally adopted. It might have been luck or fate that Josh and Robert ran into each other many years later. It was Robert who guided Josh to accept his sexuality and for a time they were lovers. Everything might have worked out, but Robert had his own problems he needed to come to terms with. In the end Josh ended up marrying his best friend Andrew, Greg's own father. Robert eventually came to terms with his issues and built a "stable" relationship with one of his old tricks, Dan. No one was fooled however, in not seeing that there was still some sexual tension between Josh and Robert. Greg would not be surprised if the two became lovers again, but Greg also knew that while Robert and Josh might still wish they were a couple, neither one was willing to throw away the relationships they had with their present partners. While enjoying the melodrama between Josh, Robert, and his father, Greg hoped that nothing would happen. He loved having Josh as a father and did not want anything to risk tearing his family apart. When he finally finished sketching Nathan, Greg was done for the day. He then waited for Nathan to change clothes so that the two of them could go home together. Unless Greg had to go somewhere by himself, he never drove so it was Nathan who took their father's old Saturn home. When they arrived they saw that David was back as his black jeep was in the driveway. There was also a mustang convertible park on the side of the street that Greg didn't recognize. "I guess Thomas drove himself here," Nathan said as he drove up to the house. "Thomas!" Greg said, remembering the events from the bathroom. "Yeah do you know him? I've not met him but he was a guy David hooked up with when he was working at the hospital last summer." "No I don't know him... David talks to you more then me," Greg said, which was true, David shared more of his life with Nathan, an occurrence that seemed to have developed after Greg announced he was gay. Not that David became unfriendly with Greg. It was just that David would not talk about his girlfriend problems with him. When Nathan and Greg entered the house they could hear laughter coming from the living room. When they arrived there they saw Josh and Robert lying on the couch with Robert's arms wrapped around him. Dan, Robert's lover was in a chair by himself laughing his head off while Patrick was handing out drinks. David and the person who had to be Thomas were sitting on the floor also laughing. "What did we miss?" Nathan asked with a warm smile. "Nate... Thomas was just sharing some of his potty humor," Josh laughed. At the mention of Nathan's name, Thomas turned and faced them giving them a dirty look that no one but Greg and Nathan could see. "Did I interrupt something?" Nathan asked confused. "Not at all," David replied as he stood up and gave Nathan a hug and Greg a pat on the back. "So Greg, David was telling me that you are drawing members of all the sport teams." "Yep, twenty teams in three days, I'm going to have to talk to Mrs. Henderson to see if I can get out the writing assignment." "Greg..." Josh warned. Out of all the other men living in the house, Josh was the most paternal to him besides his own dad, Andrew. It might have been that Andrew was Josh's husband but Josh treated Greg the same as his own son. David was another matter. "Just joking dad," Greg grinned. Greg could not give Josh too many problems about his school work because it was Josh who came to his defense from his real father about perusing a career as an artist. Andrew had wanted Greg to become a doctor or a lawyer. He could not see how Greg could support himself as an artist. It was ok as a hobby but not as a profession. Josh though supported Greg and helped him go to art camps over the summer as well as take Andrew to art exhibits to give him a taste of sticker shock. Josh was supportive, but also wished Greg did better in school, just in case. "So draw any hot guys?" Robert asked intending the double pun. While Josh was the most parental, Robert was the one all the boys went to on matters of sex, including David and Nathan. "Hahaha, I wish," Greg laughed getting his uncle's second meaning. "No seriously, show me what you did." "Alright," Greg said as he handed his sketches to Robert. Together, Robert and Josh looked over Greg's work. It was just as they stopped on the messed up sketches of Philip that Robert whispered something in Josh's ear to which both of them laughed. Greg, knowing what it had to be began to make his way to the stairs. "Hey don't go away," Robert called him back. "No, you're going to make fun of me," Greg said clearly frustrated. "No... we just find puppy love to be endearing," Robert snickered. "Yes," Josh agreed. "With whom?" Nathan asked trying to see the sketchbook. "No, if Greg wants you to know he will tell you," Josh said as he closed the book before his son could sneak a peek. Knowing that Nathan was sympathetic Greg said, "Can I see you up stairs Nathan?" "See, he's going to tell you," Josh smiled as he handed the sketchbook to Greg. As the two boys jumped up the stairs Thomas began hissing in David's ear causing David to go pale. ****************************************************** Because Nathan and David shared a room together, Greg took him to his private room. The place was decorated with Greg's artwork and posters from museums. He had his own computer at his desk and a double bed that had been Robert's before it was given to him. Greg had half hoped that some of his uncle's sexual magnetism would of rubbed off on him by now but no luck so far. "So who is it?" Josh said as he flopped himself on the bed. "...Philip," Greg said after taking a deep breath. "Philip, Philip Lorenzo... I must say this, at least you have good taste." "Hahaha," Greg nervously laughed. "He is hot isn't he?" "Well, not into guys like everyone else here seems to be so I can't say. I know what the girls have been saying though." "Which is...?" Greg begged to know. Except for Emily, Greg didn't have many "girlfriends". Most of the friends he had were leeched off Nathan so he was usually out of the loop. "Well as far as I know he has NEVER dated anyone." "Well that's a good sign," Greg said felling his hopes rise. "Maybe, but from what the girls tell me he doesn't even know how attractive he is." "That's not bad." "Greg... how many gay men do you know who are not just a little vain." "Uhmmmm..." Greg guilty replied. Out of the three boys living in the house Greg spent the most time in the bathroom. That was the main reason he had a room by himself. It had it's own bathroom, a bathroom that was completely taken up by what was now referred to as the "routine". No one but Greg knew what the "routine" was but whatever it was took a good 45 minutes to finish. "... Your dad." Greg finally came up with. "Dad doesn't count. He grew up on a farm. He hadn't seen a bottle of hair gel until Robert bought you your first one at age 12." "Well he has been panicking about his 40th birthday," Greg said in his own defense. "All guys do that, it's called a midlife crises. I think your father is having it worse," Nathan said, referring to Andrew, Greg's biological father. "Don't remind me. Remember how ridiculous he looked after he dyed his hair." "He looked like a sunflower," Nathan laughed. "He sure did. They could of used him as the state flower," Greg agreed. More then Josh, Andrew was sensitive about his age. "So do you want me to see if Philip is interested in ya?" Nathan asked after both of them had settled down. "No, I would die if he found out I like him." "I wasn't going to tell him about you. I was just going to see if he leans you're way." "I guess... As long as he doesn't find out about me." "That might be hard. Every one knows that you are gay so me asking him might seem suspicious." "Be careful then" "I will. So what do you think of David's friend?" Nathan said. "I don't know. He gives me the creeps," Greg replied. "Dad seemed to like him but I get the feeling that he really doesn't like me," Nathan said. "Same here, but then I know some of David's girlfriends who have been jealous of you." "Really?" "Yeah, each time you show up David stops whatever he's doing with them and goes off to see you." "I never noticed." "We all know," Greg laughed. He was tempted to tell Nathan that David had a crush on him but he felt that would be butting into David's business. **************************************************** This did not mean that Greg was the only one to know of David's feelings. After Thomas had gone home and after dinner, Robert and Josh had a talk. "I'm glad David met Thomas," Josh sighed as he rested in Robert's arms. "Me too Josh. That boy has been hiding in the closet for too long." "You know that's not what I'm referring to." "You mean about the way David looks at your son," Robert said, knowing that an argument was about to erupt. "I've told you this before Josh, Nathan and David have to make their own decisions. You should not stick your nose into their business." "I know David is a good kid. I just don't feel he is right for my son." "Why?" "I don't want you to take it the wrong way Robert but he's way too much like you." "You mean sexy, charming, and wonderful in bed." "No I mean lonely and self destructive." "Ah, you mean the old me," Robert agreed. "Yes... the old you," Josh said in reference to the days when Robert had been a player. "I still don't see what's wrong with David being around Nathan," Robert argued "I do because I think David feels that Nathan is the answer to all his problems while in reality the solution resides with David alone." "Have you talked to Mike about this?" "Yes and he's like you, he doesn't see where the problem is. In fact I think Mike wants my son to hook up with his." "And you still don't?" "Yes. I don't know if Nathan is gay or not but I do know that if he is I want him with someone other then David." "And once again I must ask why." "Because... because David is his brother. They are not related by blood but we raised them as a family." "Oh I see," Robert said as the truth of Josh's feeling came out. You see David in the same light as your own brother. You loved him but the idea of having sexual feelings disgusts you." "Yes," Josh agreed. "Even though David is not really Nathan's brother you feel they should be under the same taboos." "...yes," Josh said as he felt the carpet being pulled from under him. "See how silly that sounds." "Yes but as Nate's father I feel the need to protect him. What happens if things don't work out between them? They could turn from being brothers to hating each other." "All parents feel that even being in the role of an uncle I feel it, but Josh, you have to let go." "I never let go of you," Josh sighed as he let himself lean back into Robert. "I know hon. Neither have I," Robert said as he began to kiss the back of Josh's neck. After a period of time Josh spoke up again. "You know that I want to Rob but we can't." "Dan has given me permission," Robert said. "But Andrew hasn't." Robert bit his tongue on that. For the past two years he had been hearing news from his old friends that Andrew was hanging around the baths. For someone who once prided himself on being monogamous, Andrew had fallen a great deal. Robert could understand what Andrew was going through. He wasn't getting any younger. The sense of lost opportunity had been building for years. With Dan, Robert had an understanding that both would fool around once in a while and so they never had to hide their finagling. Andrew, out of guilt felt the need to hide the fact from Josh. Every one knew the reason Andrew had been coming home late. Robert was even sure Josh knew the truth but no one was willing to talk about the elephant in the room. For while the adults had done a lot to hide the fact from the kids; the bonds that held the family together were under a great amount of stress. If Andrew left Josh, not only would the couple be affected. Everyone knew that once Josh became available again, Robert would be under great temptation to dump Dan and go after the one that got away. Andrew leaving would also mean that Greg would most likely go. This would have a very negative effect on the kids, especially Nathan and Greg who were very close. That and the conflict between Josh and Mike over David could leave to everyone moving away. Josh still loved Andrew but he felt him slipping away. Nothing he did seemed to make Andrew happy, only feel guilt and suspicion. A day could not go by without Andrew accusing Josh and Robert of sleeping together. When Andrew first started with the accusations Josh and Robert tried not being so close to each other but it seemed to make matters worse and themselves unhappy at the same time so they went back to holding each other. Robert rightly suspected that Andrew's accusations were really a bad attempt by Andrew to give Josh permission to sleep with him. By giving permission for Josh to sleep with Robert, Andrew was trying to remove his own guilt for sleeping around. It was this suspicion that tempted Robert to tell Josh to truth... right before reclaiming him as his lover. For while Robert was fond of Dan, his love always belonged to Josh and everyone knew it.