Date: Mon, 28 May 2012 00:07:31 +0200 From: petra jardas Subject: Colin's 'Perfect' Life pt4 Colin's 'Perfect' Life The usual disclaimers apply here. This story contains acts of homosexual behavior. Also if you are under age or it's illegal in your country to read such material then leave. Enjoy :3 Chapter 4 'Alex, I'm gay... a-and I...I kind of...kind of like you.' There, I finally said it! I felt as if a huge rock just fell off my heart. While I said it, I didn't dare to look Alex in the eye. 'What? Is this some kind of joke?!' Alex sounded agitated. 'Little Alex, let's make him believe the captain of the football team is a fag and in love with him, so we can laugh at him later?! For fuck's sake, I'm not that stupid.' He now sounded not just agitated, but hurt too. 'What?! NO! That's NOT true!' To say that I was shocked by his answer would have been an understatement. I really didn't know what to expect once I told him, but this? This I REALLY didn't expect. The shock had to be evident on my face. 'Oh, come on! Please don't insult me!' Now he was angry. 'Please! You have to believe me! Please! How can I prove myself to you?' I wasn't going to give up on him. I would have done anything to be with him. He just sat there, looking at me, probably trying to find some clue on whether I was lying or not. Those two or three minutes felt as if they were years. My eyes filled with tears at the thought of losing Alex, not just as a potential boyfriend, but as a friend too. I started quietly sobbing. 'I don't know.' His words were cold and stabbed right in the heart. Somehow I mustered the courage to say 'I'm not gonna give up on you.' I managed to open my eyes and, through tears, I saw that he was crying too. 'Please. Let me at least have that. Let me at least have the hope that someday you'll trust me enough to call me your friend, and, if I dare to hope someday, your boyfriend.' As each word came out of my mouth, he wept harder and harder into his hands. Through tears, he managed to say 'Please don't say things like that if you don't mean them, and I know you don't. I hope you do, but know you don't, so each word hurts even more.' I could not believe my eyes and ears. I was right there in front of him, pouring my heart and soul out to him, crying my eyes out, and he's so fucked up that he's not able to believe me. I remember wondering what the hell happened to this beautiful boy to fuck him up so badly. I was more determined now than ever not to give up on him and show him the love he deserves. I slowly moved to hug him. He flinched and tensed under my touch, but after a while he gave in and relaxed in my arms. 'I do mean it, and I'm gonna prove it to you. No matter how long it took, baby steps if needed, but I'm not leaving.' For a long time, we just sat there, with him sobbing on my chest. Finally after a while, the sobbing stopped, and he moved his head and our gazes met. Both of our eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, both of our hairs a mess, cheeks streaked with tears. He was so beautiful and his lips looked soooo kissable. I just had to kiss him ? I knew I should have waited ? but I was running pretty much on emotions by then, so I just went for the kill and did it. He tensed at the initial touch, but soon relaxed. My hand went to caress his back. It just felt so natural and beautiful. Then I tensed. I knew I shouldn't have done this. Abruptly I pulled back and looked to the floor. 'I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this. I agreed to go at your pace, and this was rushing you into something. I'm really sorry; can you please forgive me?' I said, already at the verge of tears. Then he said 'It's okay. I actually liked it,' and my heart started beating somewhat normally once again. Nervously I looked back into his eyes. I so wanted to kiss him again. 'Then would it be okay if I did it again?' I asked nervously. 'Sure, why not.' He said with a devilish but still a bit nervous smile. And just as I was about to lean in and kiss him... *Knock**Knock* The door flew open and the dude that opened the door for me came in. 'Hey, guys, sorry to interrupt.' I quickly pulled back and I think both of us turned several shades of red. He looked first at Alex and then me, and smiled. 'Sasha will be home in about 5-10 mins and dinner will be ready soon.' Who is Sasha? What the hell kind of name is that? How many dudes did he live with? 'Kay, thanks, David.' I guess that's the dude's name. It suits him well. 'And will your friend be joining us?' he said, overemphasizing the word 'friend' a bit and looking over at me. I took my cue. 'Um, no, I should get home. My mom is expecting me for dinner,' I lied. My parents were never home for dinner. 'Okay then,' David said and left. After he left, I just sat there, not knowing what to say. I had to say goodbye somehow. 'Well, um... I guess I'll just go...' With that, I quickly kissed him on the cheek and turned around. 'Um, I can come over tomorrow after school if you'd like?' I said, practically pleading. 'Sure. I'd like that,' he said with a smile. 'Well... bye,' I said with a smile and left. That night I had trouble falling asleep. My emotions were still running pretty high, and my brain worked a million miles an hour. Kissing Alex was so beautiful, and so different from kissing girls. His lips were perfect. I was intoxicated by his smell. The smell of sweat, mixing with some kind of chocolate male deodorant. Thinking of Alex, I felt myself getting hard. I started stroking my hard-as-rock 8-incher. I wondered how he looked naked. That's the question I've been asking myself for months, and with a little luck, I thought, I just might get an answer to it. He must be so beautiful. I started thinking of all the things I would like to do to him. I wondered how would it feel like to fuck that perfect little bubble butt of his. No, that's not what I want to do, he's not just a one-night fuck, I wanted to make perfect love to him, for that's what he deserves. And with that thought, I shot my load all over myself. For a sec I just lay there, enjoying the bliss of my climax. Then I reached for a Kleenex to wipe myself off, and rolled over and fell asleep with a smile on my face. The next day at school, I had trouble focusing on my classes, they were just plain boring and my mind kept wondering off to Alex, so I walked around practically all day with a boner in my pants. Not really a good thing, I might add. At lunch, Ted, Quinn and I didn't skip, because for one, we were hungry, and two, we refused to give in to Rick and Mark. The three of us sat at a table across the cafeteria from the jocks. A couple of people gave us weird looks, but nothing major. After practice, I strolled to my car as fast as I could, and sped off to Alex's place, almost breaking the speed limit. I pulled up into his driveway, went to the door, and once again, just like yesterday, rang the bell. After a minute or two, the door opened, and this time it was his sister, who I recognized from the nurse's office. 'Hey, you are a friend of Alex's right? You were at the nurse's with him, if I'm not mistaken, and sorry I didn't catch your name...?' 'Hey, and yeah that's me. I'm Colin, nice to meet you. You are Alex's sister, right?' I asked, wanting to be sure. 'Yeah that's right. My name is Sasha, and nice to meet you too.' Ooh, so Sasha was his sister, weird. I thought Sasha was a guy's name. Maybe it's unisex. 'Please come in. Alex is in his room. You know where that is, right?' 'Yeah, thanks.' Once again, I walked up the stairs to Alex's room. I knocked and waited. 'Come in!' I heard Alex say. I walked in with a wide grin on my face. 'Hey Alex!' 'Hi, Colin,' said Alex with a smile on his face. 'How are you doing? Man, I know it's just plain awesome to lie around all day doing nothing. Correct me if I'm wrong!' He laughed at that. 'Yeah, it is pretty sweet. Better than school.' For that one he stuck his tongue out at me. I pretended to be upset by his comment. 'OMG you are so mean!' Then I pretended to cry and run off, doing my best in trying to look like a spoiled little girl, overemphasizing the effeminate walk. He was roaring with laughter. It was nice to see him laugh like this. 'Oh, you think this is funny, huh?' In a flash, I was on the bed tickling him but carefully because of his CAST. (Author's note: Yes I know I wrote it wrong in the last chapter, so please stop telling me I did.) 'Okay, okay, please stop! Please! I'm gonna pee on myself!' he managed to say somehow. Once I stopped, we were both burning red, our chests heaving. Our gazes found one another and remained locked. As if on auto pilot, I leaned in and kissed him. It was so beautiful to kiss him again. I slowly put my tongue at his lips as if trying to gain access. Slowly he parted his lips, and gently my tongue found his. Then our tongues intervened and started exploring each other's mouth. He's a great kisser. I hugged him close to me, and soon enough this turned into a full blown make out session. By that point, I was so turned on I was ready to shoot. Then I slowly moved my hand to take his shirt off. The moment he figured out what I wanted, he abruptly pulled away from my embrace, with the look of utter horror and panic on his face. 'P-Please d-don't,' he said, with a terrified look on his face. 'What's wrong? Did I hurt you?' I asked, already freaking out. 'No! Um, it's not you... It's um... um...' He started trembling visibly. 'Then what? Um, I'm sorry if I rushed you, please don't be upset with me!' I said, starting to get emotional myself. The thought of me hurting him made me wanna vomit. Tears filled his eyes. 'Please don't make me take off my clothes! Please!' 'Ok, Ok! You don't have to do anything you are not comfortable with! I'm not gonna force you into anything! Don't be mad at me, please.' My eyes started tearing up too. 'I-I'm not mad at you. J-Just please don't make take my clothes off,' he said, as the first tear ran from his eye. He tried to blink away the tears, but wasn't really succeeding. 'I'm not going to, relax,' I said slowly wrapping my arms around him. 'But I don't understand, why?' He didn't say anything, but instead just kept weeping in my arms. 'If you are ashamed of your body, don't be. To me, you are perfect,' I said as I kissed him on the forehead. Again he didn't say anything for a while, but sobbed harder and harder. He clung to me as if he was afraid to let go when he finally started talking. 'I'm not,' he sadly said. 'To me you are. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.' 'Once you see me and realize how fucked up I am, you are just going to laugh at me and run away, just like everyone else.' His tone revealed resentment and anger and... sadness. 'Try me.' That's all I said. But I hoped it was with as much determination and sincerity possible. 'You really want to know?' 'Yes. I would like to prove to you that I'm here for the staying.' 'Ok, but remember you wanted to know,' he said blankly and started moving away from me. He stopped for a second and sadly looked into my eyes. A second later he made a move to take his shirt off. Taking it off he avoided my gaze completely. Once it was off and he showed his back to me, I just gasped in shock. ---------------- Thank you for reading 'Colin's 'Perfect' Life' pt4! The story will continue if once again I get good rewievs! :D Petra.jardas22@gmail.com ! Also I remind you that Nifty depends on the donations of it's readers ! P.S. English is not my native language so if I made a few mistakes please forgive me.