This story contains scenes of sexual interaction between minor boys as well as adults. Because the story takes place before the onset of the AIDS crisis, the sex described is not protected sex. The author encourages you to always use a condom and practice safe sex. If you are under 18 years of age, or it is illegal to read this in your locality please proceed no further.

Copyright 2010. All rights reserved.

As this is my very first attempt at writing, I would appreciate any and all comments that may help me in future attempts, or at least let me know if I should keep writing. I thank you in advance for taking the time to send your comments to me at: xBrentandJason@gmail.com.

DISCOVERING BRENT

What follows is an absolutely true story. All names have been changed to protect people's privacy. In two places within the story actual people and events have been merged to make it more interesting for the reader. Other than that, as I said, this all really happened very much as it is written. While the story has plenty of sex in it, that's not what it is really about. It's about how events can dramatically change peoples' lives. I am actually writing it for my own entertainment and perhaps as therapy, which you will understand later. I hope that if it is published you find it interesting and entertaining. If you do, or if you have suggestions that may help me in any future attempts at writing, please drop me a note.

For the reader to fully understand the story I must go back several years, actually to when I was six years old...

My name is Brent. I am the youngest child in a family of four, having a sister one year older than myself.  At the age of six I lived with my sister, mother and father on a small farm in the mid-west.  Because there were no neighbors nearby, I only had one real friend.  His name was Sam and he was also six.  Sam and I spent many days together entertaining ourselves, getting in to trouble and sharing adventures on our farm.  I liked Sam a lot.

My parents, while maintaining the expected personal modesty within our home, did not seem to mind that my sister and I often saw each other naked, frequently bathing together.  So I knew very well what girls looked like "down there", and had no curiosity on that matter whatsoever.  Now as to Sam, well that was becoming something different.  As we became closer and closer as friends I became quite curious about what Sam might look like.  Was he the same as me "down there"?  Eventually I worked up the courage to suggest one day, when he had said he needed to go to the bathroom that we just go behind the small barn and pee there.  Sam thought that was a good idea, so we did.  Try as I might, I couldn't see much at all and was very disappointed.

I thought about Sam a lot and at bedtime I remember quietly lying on my stomach and rubbing myself back and forth against my sheets, quickly becoming hard and almost as quickly experiencing the best feeling in the world, if only briefly, as my little body shook in a dry orgasm.  I never thought about anyone else when I did this, only Sam.  Eventually I convinced my sister to dare us both to show her our dicks to her so she could compare them.  She did, and when the time came (again, in the barn) for Sam and I to drop our pants for her I made sure I was facing Sam, not my sister, so I could get a good look at him.  Wow, was I surprised!  We both had stiffies, but Sam's dick didn't have any skin on the head of it like mine did!  I had no idea boys could look like that.

The years passed and Sam and I remained close, but other than frequently peeing in front of each other in the barnyard or forest, and occasionally squatting together in the forest, or the occasional bath together during sleepovers, we didn't do anything with each other sexually. But I did continue to masturbate to virtually nothing other than thoughts about Sam. As I got older I began to realize that I was very different than other boys in that regard. I guess what I am saying is that I knew I was gay from the time I was six years old: I didn't know there was a name for it but I knew it was very different and I also knew it was something you didn't talk about – to anyone. On the rare occasions where I had an opportunity to see other boys' or men's genitals I also discovered that I was the only person in the world (or so I thought) that had a foreskin! I never understood about that or why I was different, but it was something that caused me much self imposed and needless embarrassment over the years. If only I had talked to my father about it, but that's a whole different story.

When I was in the sixth grade some of the boys began to talk about girls in a different way. Instead of the yucky girls, some of the boys were developing crushes on girls and talking about which ones were cute, etc. I was only interested in the cute boys but thought I was the only person in the world that thought that way and knew I must not tell anyone. So the "acting" started... I joined in the new talk about "cute" girls. And I began to worry. What was wrong with me? When would I start to like girls? Why was I so different? As the months progressed the worry became almost an obsession. Junior high school was only next year! I didn't want to be different. And I desperately wanted more friends, as Sam had moved away.

The end of the school year came and summer vacation started, but it was a very lonely summer without Sam. Those were the three longest months of my young life. I couldn't wait for school to start, and was terrified about what would happen when it did. Would things be different? Would I finally find my way, find some friends, find a way to like girls instead of boys? I worried constantly, but was determined my life would be different, would change, would be better.

Seventh grade! Junior High School! We get to change classes six times a day just like in high school! I was excited and happy. I got to my "homeroom" class and was given my full daily schedule. Period one, Homeroom (or study hall); Period two, English; Period three, Math; Period four, Science; Period five, History; Period Six, Physical Education. PE! Oh my God, we have to take showers here just like in high school.

I had thought about that over the summer, but now it hit me right between the eyes. I was going to have to shower with a whole class of boys. And we would be naked! By now I understood that some boys were circumcised and some were not, like me. But I had yet to see one that wasn't circumcised and had no idea how many there would be. Now I had something else to worry about. As it turned out there was only one other boy in my class that was not circumcised and from day one we both were teased by the other boys. I had decidedly mixed feelings about PE. I hated the teasing, but I loved the chance to get to see all the other boys naked. So much jack-off material every single day! I got to see and compare all their cocks, admire their builds, and look at their butts. I think I became a butt guy very early in my life. When one of the better looking boys next to me in the shower dropped his soap or leaned over to wash his feet I would get a good look at his butt. Sometimes I even got to see their assholes and I would invariably begin to chub-up when that happened, especially the couple of guys that had started to sprout some hair in their crack. My imagination ran wild.

Something very interesting was happening in homeroom. We were paired up with a study partner by the teacher, and she assigned Gary to be my partner. Everyone shifted desks so that we sat next to our study partner. There was an instant attraction to Gary. He was outgoing, funny, and just about the cutest boy I had ever seen. He had very dark brown hair which looked like he had just had it styled. I later learned that he indeed did have his hair styled frequently. Gary was tall and built, well the term we used back then when referring to girls was "like a brick shit-house". He had muscles in all the right places, and he had the clearest, brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. His complexion was absolutely flawless. He was everything any girl (or boy like me) would want.

I guess I didn't describe myself to you yet. At this time I was kind of smallish, being a good three inches shorter than Gary, and thin. I wasn't disgustingly skinny, just on the thin side. I have blond hair which I keep rather short, green eyes and a fairly good complexion. I was troubled by the occasional pimple, but thankfully did not suffer from the acne which was so common then. If I were to be the judge I would say I was a rather cute boy, but I was extremely shy. That's one of the reasons I didn't have any friends.

While Gary was popular, he seemed to go out of his way to be friendly toward me... And I was eating it up! He actually was acting like he wanted to be my friend. My friend. That sounded so foreign, but it also sounded so good. I began to look forward to going to school, despite the PE class, just so I could see Gary. Our friendship blossomed.

So you probably have figured it out by now. I had someone new and someone whom I was actually getting to know that I could think about; fantasize about when I jacked-off. And believe me, I did jack off. Damn near constantly! OK, so not constantly, but easily four or five times a day, especially after I outgrew dry orgasms and began to shoot real cum. And all my thoughts were about Gary. If only he was in my PE class, I could see him naked; I could maybe see his butt, his asshole, did it have hair around it? I fantasized about him endlessly.

On a Wednesday, about three months into the school year, Gary surprised me by asking me if I would like to come over to his house on the coming Saturday to hang out. I jumped at the chance!

"Of course I would like to come over. Who else will be there?" I asked.

"Just my folks. I thought maybe we could race our go-carts or something." Gary said.

"Sure, that will be fun."

Wednesday night, Thursday and Friday seemed to go on forever. I was so excited about being invited over to his house I couldn't concentrate on anything else. Saturday morning I woke my parents up and asked my dad to drive me over to Gary's. He looked at the clock and told me I had to wait "until a decent hour". When we finally left and got to the address I was amazed. Gary's house was huge and sat way back on manicured lawns with trees. There were horses, a riding arena, barn, lake, and swimming pool. It was like he had his own resort! We went down the long drive and dad let me out by their house. Before I could knock on the door, Gary came bounding out of the house hollering "Hey! I thought you would never get here!" My dad got out, went inside and met Gary's father, who offered to bring me home after dinner.

It was a magical day. Gary and I fished in their lake. He taught me how to ride a horse and we spent hours riding. Then he showed me his two go-carts and we fired them up and raced around the property until sunset. We both managed to get covered in dirt and sweat. Before putting the go-carts away Gary had me park mine and get in his setting next to him. It was a tight squeeze. Riding around with him our legs were rubbing together as were our shoulders and it was arousing; I was enjoying the hell out of it. To make a little more room Gary put his arm up behind me. When he did, the smell from his sweaty armpit hit me square in the face – I had never smelled anything so intoxicating in my life. I sprang one hell of a hard-on sitting right there next to him. I know he saw it, but he didn't let on about it.

We went in the house and Gary's mom told us we looked like we had just come out of a coal mine. She told us to go upstairs and wash up for dinner. She told us to both take a shower and suggested that if I wore a pair of Gary's shorts they wouldn't be too long on me. We went up to Gary's room. I couldn't believe his bedroom. It was huge compared to mine and he had his own bathroom. Gary set out clean clothes for both of us: shorts, white briefs, socks, and tee shirts. Then he got out two sets of towels and washcloths and told me to watch some TV and he would rinse off first.

He went into the bathroom, closed the door and after quite a while I heard the shower start. I wondered what the delay was but decided he must have needed to use the toilet first. Soon the shower went off and he came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. I got my first look at his chest. It was the hottest, more beautiful chest I had ever seen on anyone! No hair yet, of course, but he did have a "happy trail" already, starting from his naval disappearing into the towel and because of his very dark hair it was very obvious. And my dick started to rise again. He said "It's all yours!" I went in just mumbling "Thanks."

I stripped off my clothes, then decided to use the toilet first just as Gary had done. I sat down and my dick was about half hard from looking at Gary. Then I spotted it... there was a dirty clothes hamper in his bathroom. I didn't know when I would be back here, so I wasn't going to let this chance get by me. I got up, went to the hamper and quietly opened the lid. Inside it was easy to find what I was looking for... his dirty white jockey shorts that he had just taken off. They were quite damp with his sweat. I picked them up and sat back down on the toilet. By now my dick is fully hard. I looked closely at the briefs and saw that there were some piss stains on the pouch. I stroked my dick a little bit and brought the pouch up to my nose and sniffed it. I could smell his sweat and piss and thought I had never been as sexually excited as I was right then. My dick was throbbing and a clear drop of pre-cum had appeared on the end.

I began jacking furiously as I opened his briefs and looked inside. There were two pubic hairs in the pouch and the piss stains were more visible inside. Then I looked at the seat of his briefs inside and saw a slight stain. It wasn't what I would call a skid mark, clearly Gary wiped his butt. But there was a slight stain where the briefs had rubbed against his asshole all afternoon while we sweated and bounced in the go-carts. I was so excited I was literally trembling as I brought the stained area up to my face, pressed it against my nose and sniffed in the air, pulling it through the sweat dampened dirty cloth. As I did this and smelled Gary's asshole (or what I was sure it would have smelled like) I shot the biggest load of cum of my life, I just kept cumming and cumming. When I recovered I quickly used his briefs to wipe up the cum from my legs, chest and chin, and toilet rim, then tossed them back into the hamper and quickly took a shower. I dried off, wrapped the towel around me like Gary had done and went into the bedroom. Gary was sitting on his bed wearing only his clean white briefs. "I waited so you could pick the shorts you wanted." He said. So I picked up the pile of clothes I chose and moved over to the other bed, turned my back to Gary so he wouldn't see me chubbing up at the sight of him in his briefs, dropped the towel and quickly got dressed. Gary's only comment was "Dude, your ass is sooooo white." "Well your's probably is too" I countered. He said "nobody is that white" and stood up, turned his back to me and hooked his thumbs in his waistband and pushed his briefs down so I could see his butt. "See" he said, then pulled up his briefs and got dressed. I could not believe I had just looked at Gary's ass up close. He was so damned hot, and I so lucky, how could things get any better?

After dinner Gary and his dad took me back to my house. I had never ridden in such a fancy truck. I thanked them both for such a nice day and Gary said "Yeah, it was cool. We'll have to do it again soon."

I told my parents about my day, well the horse riding and go-carting part anyway. It was a wonderful day and I was happy. After I went to bed and had a chance to really unwind and reflect I began to worry once again. Not about Gary or the day we had but about what kind of future I might have. Would I ever be able to find love and have a family? I finally drifted off to sleep.

Monday morning as I sat down next to Gary in study hall he said "Hey buddy, are you up to another fun weekend? I asked my dad and he said if you wanted to you were welcome to come spend the whole weekend with us." As he punched me in the shoulder he added "He says you are a very polite young man. What the fuck does he know? HaHa." I said "Hell yeah. But I'll have to check with my mom and dad."

The following Friday morning I packed a bag of clothes and took them to school with me so I would have them at Gary's house for the weekend.

As soon as we got to his house, Gary said "Let's put your things in my room." We both bounded up the stairs to his room. We went in and he showed me where to put my stuff and sat down on his bed. Gary looked at me and said "Dude, we have to talk."

"O.K." I said, and sat down across from him on the other bed in his room.

Gary said "Man, I don't know how to say this and I want this to be a hell of a good weekend so don't freak out on me." Then he got very quiet. I had no idea what he was driving at until he reached under the edge of his bed and pulled out a wadded up pair of his white briefs. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest and I quickly was blinking back tears... I knew what was coming and right then wished I was anyplace but there.

But he surprised me. He said, shaking his head, "Now just be quiet and listen to me. The next time you blow a load like that in my house, for God's sake don't go wiping it up with my dirty clothes! Use some tissue dude. I found these when I was getting my laundry ready to take down to my mom. I rinsed them out and have dried them now so I can put them in the hamper. She would have shit a brick if she had found those like you left them!" He got really quiet and was looking from my face to the floor and back again. I started to say something and he continued, "Let me finish. I'm gonna tell you right now I'm no fag. I like girls. But I get horny too and wouldn't mind fooling around with another dude sometimes, well, not any dude, I mean I wouldn't mind fooling around with you if you want to do something, but like I said, I'm not a fag. I don't know if you are or not, and I don't care cause you are my friend." After sitting quietly for a minute or two he looked at me and smiled and then said quietly "I will tell you a secret though... when I found these last Saturday after taking you home I did sniff your cum. When I jacked off..." he got quieter, "I licked some of your cum off too. Dude, it was stickier and thicker than mine. I didn't know a guy could cum that much." And he laughed nervously.

"Gary, dude! You tasted my cum? I haven't even tasted my cum!"

"Well you should man. It wasn't bad. Or you could taste mine if you want." He had the cutest smile when he said that.

My mind was racing. My best friend, the hottest guy in our class, just admitted he jacked off while sucking my cum out of his sweaty briefs, and he just offered to let me taste his cum! OMG, my heart was pounding. I hadn't even seen Gary naked yet, he had only briefly showed me his butt.

I was staring at Gary's crotch as we both rubbed ourselves through our pants. It looked like he had about the biggest dick I had ever seen hiding in there. My voice was trembling as I asked, "OK, so what? Do you want to jack off together then?"

"Well, yeah dude. I mean we are both sitting here with hard-ons about to rip through our Levis."

"Man, I've never done anything like that before." I said. "Neither have I, but there's no time like the present, right?" He said as he stepped over and locked his bedroom door.

Gary came back to his bed and before he sat down he unbuttoned his Levis. I stood up and did the same, and then I said "Hey, as long as we are going to do this, can we both just get naked? It would be more fun that way." Gary said, laughing, "It would be more gay that way you mean" and I kind of looked at him, my grin instantly disappearing. He continued "Hey, don't sweat it dude. I told you I don't care if you are gay. If it would turn you on for me to get totally naked, then it's no sweat off my balls." Then he laughed at what he had said.

We both got naked and started jacking our hard dicks. Gary said "Dude, you're un-cut! That is so cool! I wish I was." That was the first time I had ever considered that there might be something good about not being circumcised.

We continued jacking our dicks looking at each other. I was convinced Gary was the most beautiful boy on earth and we were jacking off together. As I watched him jacking my mind wandered back to last Saturday and the smell of Gary's dirty underwear. I thought about the possibilities. I was brought back from my thoughts when he bluntly asked "So are you gay dude?"

"Yeah, I think so" I said. We continued to jack and then Gary said "Dude I'm close, do you want to taste my cum?" I said "Hell yes!" He said "Then you better get over here on your knees quick." I moved in front of him and dropped to my knees and looked at him. He said "Well, go ahead man, suck my dick." Fuck, I thought I would absolutely die. I opened my mouth and leaned forward taking his hard dick into my mouth and sucking on it. I had never tasted a dick before. It was fantastic. Then he grabbed the back of my head and began to shoot his cum. Blast after blast of his hot thick cum squirted across my tongue, gathering in my mouth. Before I knew it my mouth was full and he was still shooting. I swallowed, then swallowed again. Gary's dick continued to jerk and throb in my mouth as I sucked out the last of his cum and let his dick slip from my mouth. Gary said "Fuck dude, you ate it all! That was so fucking hot. You can suck my cock anytime you want man, I loved that." I had jacked my dick as I sucked his and shot my wad against the bedspread where Gary had been sitting. I told him we would have to spill a coke on it or something to hide the stain, and he agreed.

As we finished getting dressed Gary said "You would never tell anyone about this, right?" I was a little hurt that he asked me that. "Of course not." I said. "Good, cause like I said, I'm not a fag. But I think I'm gonna like playing with you anyway." He smiled his cutest smile.

The next day we had an absolute ball. We wrestled, he won. We rode the horses around the property and even took them down the road a couple miles. Late in the afternoon as we were putting the horses away in the barn I was quietly becoming "drunk" on the smell coming from Gary's armpits as he showed me how to brush a horse. Not thinking I blurted out "Dude, you stink!" He looked at me kind of sheepishly and said "Sorry man". Again, not thinking, I said "Don't be sorry dude, I kind of like it... it's turning me on." Gary looked at me quizzically and said "Oh yeah?" It got very quiet then and I had a chance to think about what had just transpired. I was really scared that I had fucked up big time by saying anything. Then just before we left the barn he leaned over close to me and said quietly "How about we go inside and you can smell anything you want?" I had such a hard-on then –- there was no way to even try to hide it. We took off for his room.

We got in to his room and he locked the door. I just kind of stood there; I was embarrassed and excited. I had no idea what the hell to do next. Gary pulled his shirt off over his head and tossed it on his bed. I did the same. We stood looking at each other and finally Gary said "Well dude, you want to smell me or not?" and he put his left hand behind his head exposing his armpit to me. He might not have been gay, but it was obvious from the bulge he was rubbing with his right hand that he was just as excited as I was.

I stepped over close to him and stuck my nose in his pit. Gary didn't have a tremendous amount of hair in his pits yet, but he was hairier than I was for sure. And God, the smell was about to make me cum in my pants. I slowly took a long swipe through his wet pit with my tongue. "Fuck dude, that's nasty" Gary said – but he just raised his arm a little higher so I could do it again, which I did.

I stepped back from him and said "Man, we got to slow down a bit. I don't want to cum yet."

"OK, cool" he said. We each sat down on opposite beds and began to remove our tennis shoes and socks. Gary said "Whew, you think my pits stink. You should smell these socks!" laughing.

"Thanks man, but no thanks. I don't think smelling your stinky feet would be much of a turn-on" laughing nervously. We continued undressing until we were both naked, each laying on our respective beds with our hard cocks pointing to the ceiling... well, mine pointed to the ceiling but Gary's was flat up against his belly laying right on top of his "happy trail". We began to slowly jack our cocks. Gary asked me "So dude, do you ever think about girls or pussy when you jack?"

"Nope" was all I offered.

"Well, tell me stupid!" he said.

"I think about dudes, about you silly."

"Well, what exactly?" Gary asked.

"It's embarrassing" I mumbled.

"Fuck man, I'm not going to tell anyone. I just want to know."

I thought for a minute then said "I think about sucking your cock, you sucking mine. I think about how you smell when you are stinky... stuff like that."

Gary stopped jacking and sat up, swinging his legs down to the floor. "But you're not interested in smelling my stinky feet – just my pits?"

I didn't answer, just sat on the side of the bed like he was doing and stared at the floor. "Dude, what's the matter?" Gary asked.

I was trembling and had my cock was getting soft, I wanted so bad to be honest with my friend but was afraid to lose him. My mind was racing. I looked up at Gary and he could see the tears in my eyes before they started falling. "Dude, what did I do wrong?"

"Nothing man. It's just me. I'm sorry Gary. Sometimes I just get emotional."

"Well, there's no reason too little buddy" he said as he moved to my side and put his arm around me. "You can tell me anything, I promise I won't get mad at you."

So I said what I was thinking. "I'm afraid if I am completely honest with you that I'll lose you as my friend."

"If I'm really your friend that wouldn't happen, now would it?" he asked. "Besides, I know what you are concerned about. And I already told you I don't care if you are gay. And while I'm not sure I understand it, I don't care that you want to smell my butt either." He said as he ruffled my hair. "It's your thing dude, not mine. I do know you said you thought about both of us sucking each other's cocks and like I told you, I liked tasting your cum so I would like to do that with you too."

"Really? You will suck me off too?" I asked.

"Of course. What's a best buddy for anyway?" We both laughed out loud at that one.

I pushed Gary down on the bed and went straight for his cock. "Hold on dude. Turn around so I can get to you too" he said. I did and then I went back to his cock, sucking it into my mouth. Gary opened his mouth and sucked my cock in. I was in heaven. We were both sucking like mad and I was also sniffing his sweaty balls as best I could. We were both getting close and I pulled off his cock and kind of pulled myself out of his mouth and turned around, moved between his legs and just grinned at him. He knew what I wanted to do before we both shot our wads so he pulled his legs up and back exposing his ass to me.

I couldn't believe what I was about to do. I lowered my face to his butt and began sniffing, but only smelled his sweat. I moved closer and pulled his cheeks apart with my hands and pushed my nose directly against his asshole and slowly breathed in the air... My God it was better than I had ever imagined. It was better than when I sniffed his dirty underwear by far. Now for those of you whose minds have totally wandered into the gutter, come back to reality. It's not like his butt was filthy, it wasn't. But it wasn't totally clean either. I got what I had wanted ever since I could remember – I was sniffing my best friends sweaty, (slightly) dirty asshole and loving every second of it. I was so hard my cock actually hurt as it dripped. Gary was slowly jacking his cock and watching me when he said "Lick it Brent. Lick my asshole for me, please." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but didn't waste a second thinking about it. I wanted to lick his asshole and get that taste in my mouth. I leaned in, stuck my tongue out and started licking his sweaty crack as I was jacking my cock. I kept licking and the closer I got to his asshole the better it was getting and the faster I was jacking my cock. Finally my tongue was on his asshole and I tasted it, I was actually tasting my best friend's asshole. I fucking shot a huge wad of cum all over his bedspread, again.

I continued licking his ass and trying to push my tongue into his asshole as he jacked. I managed to get it in just a bit when Gary jerked and started shooting cum everywhere. When we both had come down from our orgasms Gary looked at me and said "I can't believe you actually listened to me and stuck your tongue up my asshole dude, but I'm damn glad you did. That was fucking fantastic. Just promise me one thing little buddy. Promise me that you won't ask me to do that to you and you won't get any weirder on me" he said.

"I promise. But can I lick up your cum?" I said, grinning from ear to ear.

"You bet" was his simple answer.

As the months flew by Gary and I spent as much time together as we were allowed, and at every opportunity we were sucking each other off and I was sniffing his sweaty pits and eating his asshole out. I didn't think life could get any better.

It did, but as it turned out it was short-lived. Just before school let out for the summer Gary asked me if I wanted to go on a weeklong camping trip with him and his dad. I, of course, jumped at the chance. The next day he told me "Hey little buddy. My dad said as long as you were going that you should ask your dad to come along if he can."

I did ask and my dad talked it over with mom and they both decided it was a wonderful opportunity, so it was all set. The four of us would spend a week camping and hiking and swimming.

Now, this may sound foolish to some of you at my age then, but I always called my father "Daddy" rather than "Dad" as most young guys do. So at least there was no confusion as to who was talking to whom when we were all together. Gary's dad had brought two tents and said that he and my dad would share the larger one, Gary and I got to share the smaller tent, which was fine with us. I whispered to Gary when we made a pit-stop along the way "When we set up the tents, let's make sure ours is as far away from theirs as possible" chuckling.

We were in the restroom alone and Gary leaned in really close to my ear and whispered "Already thought of that little buddy", then he slowly and seductively stuck his tongue in my ear, thoroughly licking it. I got goose-bumps and a hard-on all at once.

And so it went, day by glorious day, hiking up and down the hills and getting in as much horseplay as possible, which both our dads joined in as well. Each evening Gary and I would retire to our tent and jack each other and suck each other. Every passing day without a shower all four of us were getting riper and riper as men and boys do. And I continued to eat Gary's ass out every night, even as he was getting riper and riper down there too. I didn't care, I was fucking loving it – and so was Gary. He was encouraging me rather than shying away from me at all in that regard. On the last day of the trip he did something that really surprised me though. We were jacking off and he said "Brent, there's something I want you to do for me."

"What's that?" I asked.

"While I'm jacking I'd really like to watch you" he paused for a second thinking about it, then continued "I want to jack watching you smelling and licking my dirty stinky feet" and he laughed very nervously. I did it for him and it really didn't do much for me but he loved it. And he thought I was weird!

Just before school started again my world came to an end, or so I thought.

I called Gary's house, hoping to go over and see him, as it had been a few days since we had seen each other. His dad answered the phone. I asked to speak to Gary. "I'm sorry Brent" he said, "I don't want to upset you or anything because I think you are a fine boy. But I have figured out what's been going on between you and Gary and Gary admitted it to me too. He will be going to boarding school this year and you won't be seeing him anymore son. I won't say anything to your parents because that's your job, and I wish you the best. Goodbye." And he hung up before I could get a word out.

Trembling, no, I wasn't trembling I was shaking like hell as I put the phone down. It only took a minute to sink in and I collapsed on my bed and cried harder than I ever had before, sobs racking my body. And it just kept up, I couldn't seem to stop it. By the time my dad opened my door to find out why I hadn't come down to dinner my face was completely swollen, my pillow soaked with tears and snot. "What's up Brent?" he asked as I turned over and he got a look at me. He called out the door to my mom and then came over to my bed and gathered me in his arms and held on tight as I continued to cry, my snot getting all over his shirt. Mom joined us and asked my dad "What the hell happened?"

"I don't have a clue" was my dad's response.

It took a while for me to calm down enough to start choking some words out, and with each word more tears seemed to flow.

Finally I managed to croak "Daddy, I'm gay".

Mom and dad both said almost in unison, "So what? We expected that."

"But that's not why I'm upset" I said, tears still flowing unabated. My words poured out, one running into the next "I'm in love with Gary and his dad found out and he is sending him away forever and I'll never see him again ever!" I paused, then "I absolutely just want to curl up and die. I mean it. I don't want to live in this world anymore. I'm so damned sick of being teased at school and now this. I just can't deal with it! I really want to die."

I just moped around for days, crying off and on, feeling sorry for myself and convincing myself life wasn't worth living. My parents tried their best to re-assure me that things would get better. It occurred to me after about two weeks that I wasn't left alone for a second from the time I fell asleep until I woke up the next morning. I was being watched very closely. They really did care, even if they didn't understand. I didn't understand just how much they cared until a few weeks into the new school year.

As I entered the house from school one afternoon both mom and dad were there. It was unusual for dad to be home this early. They were both sitting at the dining room table. Mom said "Brent, get a drink and use the bathroom if you need to, then come sit with us. We have some important things to talk about."

Naturally very curious, I immediately sat down. "I don't need anything. What's going on?" I asked.

Mom started to dab at her eyes and it was obvious she was starting to cry. I looked over at my dad. "Daddy????"

Mom sniffed and said "I'm OK dear, these are tears of relief, that's all".

"I don't understand"

Dad said "Of course you don't son. So let me lay it out for you. Ever since Gary left we have been worried sick about you, afraid you will go and do some stupid ass thing and we would loose you. We couldn't bear that son." Now I saw the tears on dad's face.

"Daddy????" Again I questioned.

"It's OK son." He took a minute to compose himself and then continued. "We didn't want to say anything to you in case things didn't work out like we hoped. But everything is going to work out fine. Look, son, your mom and I love you so much you can't even imagine it. We pretty much had figured out you were gay a long time before you did I think, but we wanted to respect your privacy and wait until you said something. When you did, we knew what we had to do. We know how hard it is to be a teen-ager, but we can only imagine how hard it must be to be a gay teen-ager. I know you loved Gary, but son, I also know you will get over him in time. It hurts like hell when you loose your first love, and I won't for a second try to tell you it was only puppy-love cause in your eyes that's just nonsense. You loved him, and I know that. But trust your Daddy son, you will get over him in time and that's not our concern." Dad took a minute and got up to get himself and mom a cup of coffee, then returned to the table.

"Our concern is that you are a gay teen-ager and you need support and friends that just aren't available here in this town, probably not in this state for that matter." My mind was racing. What's coming next, are they going to ship me away somewhere? I sat quietly, waiting.

"So earlier today I quit my job and we are moving to California to a city where you can have at least a chance at a decent life and get the support you need."

OK, so now it's my turn... I am shaking and the tears are flowing. I can't believe they are doing this for me. I jumped out of my chair and grabbed my dad and hugged him and cried so hard. Mom joined in the hug, brushing my hair back saying "It's all going to be OK Brent. It really is honey."

And it was, for the most part. I never had another friend like Gary. Not even someone to jack off with. Times were different then and while my parents knew I was gay, it really wasn't discussed and I certainly wasn't "out" at school. But I did feel better about myself and managed a quiet existence of relative happiness, even if all my sexual needs had to be handled by myself in private. Well, that's not entirely true. I did have a cousin a year yonger than myself who visited infrequently and we discovered that it was fun to jack off together and to suck each other off. We did that every chance we got as we grew through adolescence into young men and finished high school, but it wasn't all that often.

High school was over, college just starting and I turned 18. Vietnam was raging and I had a very bad draft lottery number. So, on my 18^th birthday I joined the U.S. Navy. My hope was to avoid being in the combat in Vietnam. As it worked out, I was destin to go. Out of boot camp I was assigned to a naval Seabee unit, a Mobile Construction Battalion. Our unit's assignment was to go to Vietnam and build Special Forces Camps throughout the country. I saw things there and did things there that are the subject of a very different kind of story. Maybe someday I'll write it.

However, there is one part I will write about, and that is about Dave. We met the day I checked in to my new unit in Port Hueneme, California. And I was smitten for sure. This was long before "don't ask, don't tell" so there were not supposed to be gay servicemen. But I knew almost as soon as we met that, in Dave, I had met a kindred soul. And he was gorgeous. And he was sexy as hell too.

The third time we went out to have a few beers together, as we were leaving the bar and getting into Dave's car he leaned over to me and kissed me. It was my first kiss and was a bit tentative on both our parts. But that only lasted a few seconds. Then he kissed me right. Our mouths opened and tongues fought to see which one of us was going to explore the other's mouth the best. My cock just about ripped out of my uniform, and by the time we got to the nearest motel we both had quite large wet spots showing up on the front of our pants from all the pre-cum that was flowing.

We got into the room and I was like a starved caged animal finally turned loose. I nearly tore Dave's uniform off him while he was tugging at mine. We were quite wild, licking, sucking, nibbling, and exploring each other's body with complete abandon. When I finally got to Dave's ass I ate his butt out like a starving man, which he apparently enjoyed. He shot one hell of a wad while I was doing it anyway.

Later, as we were talking, Dave asked "So, Brent, are you a top or a bottom?"

"What do you mean?" I answered.

Dave chucked. He was a year older than me chronologically, but a lot older than me as far as sexual experience. He knew it and I knew it, we didn't have to talk about it. He explained the difference and I said "Damn Dave, I don't know. I've never fucked anyone and I've never been fucked, so I guess I could be either one."

"Well, the way you attacked my ass I thought that maybe you were a top and if so, that would be a problem.

"How so?"

"Because I'm a top and I don't like getting fucked, but I love fucking other dudes." OK, so he has kind of laid out the ground rules it seemed.

"I've not really considered fucking another dude Dave, but I have to tell you that my biggest turn on is eating ass man. I fucking love it."

"I enjoy getting my ass eaten man, you can even shove your tongue or finger up my ass, but no hard cock is ever gonna go there" he said, laughing.

"I think we are going to have a good time together man" I responded. "But we have to be careful; I sure as hell don't want to get kicked out for being a homo."

And so we were careful. Four months after reporting to Port Hueneme we flew to Vietnam for what was supposed to be a six month deployment of the unit. It turned out that we were there a year, then only home for three months before going back for a second year tour.

On our third actual "date" I lost my cherry. We were in the motel, making out like mad when Dave began to finger my butt. He was kissing me passionately and at the same time trying to work his finger up my ass, which he eventually did. I liked it a lot. Dave stopped and took a minute to get some lube out of his bag. He generously applied it to my butt and then watched my face as he pushed two fingers slowly all the way up my ass. He worked them around and shortly added a third finger stretching my asshole as best he could. I was so fucking hard but I didn't want to cum as yet, so I was just lightly stroking as he worked my ass.

"I think you're ready baby" he said as he changed position and lifted my legs onto his shoulders. He lubed up his hard cock, which by the way was about 9 inches long and quite thick, cut very nicely. This was before AIDS, so there was no condom. Dave lined up his cock and then gently and slowly, but without pausing at all, pushed his entire 9 inch length into my virgin asshole. I thought for sure I was going to split wide open, but I just sucked in some air and held on tight. He didn't wait very long before he started to pull out, and he pulled nearly all the way out so only his dickhead was still in my ass, then plunged it back in hard. I've never felt anything that hurt so bad and felt so good all at the same time. As Dave picked up speed and added kissing and touching my cock and balls to his routine most of the pain subsided. I finally knew what real sex was about. And I could now answer Dave's earlier question: I was a bottom boy, no doubt about it! When he shot his load deep in my ass it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. He just kept shooting and shooting as my ass squeezed his huge cock. Even after he was done shooting his cum, his hard cock kept throbbing inside my ass. I fucking loved it!

The night before we left for Vietnam Dave and I had been making out something fierce. He was fucking me for the second time that night when he slowed down, making very slow deliberate strokes in and out of my ass as he looked in my eyes. And just before he came he whispered "I love you Brent". I wasn't even sure I heard it as I was kind of busy at that moment myself. Well, that's not true, I know I heard it, I just wasn't sure he meant it. But after we showered and while we were laying in bed before drifting off he asked "Did you hear me earlier babe?"

"Yes. I heard you. And I love you too, very much."

And so we went to Vietnam as a committed couple, even if we were the only two people in the world that knew it.

My first letter home from Vietnam however changed that, stating in part: "Dear Mom and Daddy, Guess what? I've met someone and I'm head over heels in love with him. His name is Dave and he is here at my base with me in Vietnam..." They were both very happy for me.

Sundays "In Country" were usually a day off for most of us. On Sundays I always took one of the jeeps and drove from our base to the 1^st Marine Division Headquarters to pick up our message traffic. It usually took a couple hours to make the trip and Dave always went with me, riding "shotgun". Over there, that was a literal term as he provided additional firepower should we need it. There were several shanty town areas we would drive through, one of which was known as "Dogtown", and whores were plentiful there. We would stop for a cold drink but never partook of the offers the women would make. It didn't take long for the old "Mamasan" to figure out what was up with us. She quietly made one of the rooms available to us when we stopped and let us know it would be our little secret.

Dave and I would have been driving in the jeep bouncing over rough dusty roads in the 120 degree plus heat for a couple hours before stopping for a break. So when we got time to spend together, I was quite happy because Dave would invariably be all sweaty and dusty and that just added to my enjoyment in making love with him.

Eventually one day he laughed after we were done and getting dressed. He said "You may be a short good looking little dude, but I'm beginning to think you are a bit of a little kinky shit too, aren't you?"

I grinned. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know damned well what I'm talking about. The dirtier and stinkier I am the better you like it, don't you?"

"So shoot me" I retorted. "Yeah, I like your pits when they are stinky and dirty and I like your ass the same way, what can I say? I was a dirty kid. I guess I still am."

Dave just looked at me, then grinned from ear to ear then said "That's sokay... Just wanted to make sure I had the rules right."

We were able to get together alone just about every Sunday for several months. In some ways, which you might find weird, my time in Vietnam was one of the happiest times of my life. But once again, fate was to intervene.

It was hot and humid. The air just seemed to hang there, and it was almost impossible to get to sleep in our hooch. As it turns out, that is probably a good thing. Most of us were still awake when the first mortar struck, exploding next to our motor pool area. We all knew the base was under attack, so we responded the way we had trained so many times, diving out of our hooch right through the screened walls ripping them to shreds as we went, and into our sandbagged pits which were built at each corner of every hooch. We took with us our helmet and our weapon. That's it. If you were naked when this started, you would be naked in the pit, except for your helmet. Most of us were in our skivvy shorts.

We could hear the "whoomp" in the distance as each mortar was launched, then they would scream into the camp and explode with deadly accuracy. During a lul in the bombardment I made my way to the Command Post which is where I was supposed to be during any attack. Our hospital corpsmen and our battalion doctor also worked from the Command Post, as it was heavily sandbagged and relatively secure.

It was only minutes after I got there that the bombardment started again, much heavier than before. All of a sudden I overheard someone say that one of our mortar pit crews had taken a direct hit. My blood turned to absolute ice. Dave was on one of the mortar crews. The corpsmen started to bring in the men that were wounded. It was grisly to say the least. The third one in through the door made my worst nightmare real, it was Dave. He was conscience, but gravely injured. I knelt by the stretcher and took his hand. As I shook and tears streamed down my face, Dave looked at me and, squeezing my hand, said "Please don't let me die Brent, please."

Those were Dave's last words. There was absolutely nothing any mortal man could have done at that point. Dave passed away a few minutes later as I held his hand.

I asked my CO for permission to accompany his body home, but my request was denied because the only reason I could give was that "he was my friend". There was so much more to say. I wanted to scream it: "He was my love, my partner. He was my sun, my moon, my reason for living. I wanted the whole damned world to know what they had done to me. To know of my loss, how bad I was hurting. I was 18 and utterly alone. There was no one to turn to to help me, not even the Chaplain as had I told him the truth I would have faced a certain Undesirable Discharge at the least, perhaps a Court-martial. So I bottled it up, stuffed it down, did my very best to forget it.

I tried drinking, I tried drugs. I wasn't successful.

The one thing I didn't try was promiscuity. In fact, there was no sex whatsoever for over seven years following my discharge from the Navy. No sex, no relationships, just work and alcohol.

Some thirty years later I finally got up the courage to approach The Wall and find David's name there among the 55,000 plus names. I had had the opportunity and had tried to do this so many times over the years, but each time I simply could not walk up close to that Wall no matter how hard I tried. But with lots of love, help and support from family and special friends, during the Gay March on Washington, I finally got to do it: I got to see and touch his name and to finally say goodby to Dave. And as I write this I can barely see through my tears. So have I said goodby? Have I been able to put it behind me after all these years? The truth of the matter is no, I haven't. But frankly, I don't think I want to. Doing that, in my mind, would not honor the Dave I came to know, love and trust. It would not honor the good man he had become. And it would certainly not honor what we had together, if ever so briefly, in a land so very far from home.

Epilog

After seven years of bouncing from job to job, avoiding any kind of relationships or even friendships, and lots of alcohol, I finally made a decision on where my life should go. I met and married a wonderful woman who, like me, wanted a large family. We got along very well, even in the bedroom. The trick was I had to construct a fairy tale in my own mind about the person I was with... The "man" I was with. With a lot of practice I actually got pretty good at performing with her. I'm not proud of that, it's just a fact.

We had eight children and remained married for over twenty years. When our marriage ended I did some soul searching and decided that with only this one life to live, I was not going to continue to live a lie. I came out to my ex-wife and kids, and in fact to the whole world. My family has been wonderful about that and we all remain very close.

And while I was very functional, this story would not be complete if I did not tell you that following Vietnam I became an addict. Through counseling and treatment for severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, with the grace of God and Narcotics Anonymous, and a fantastically supportive man, I have been "clean" (drug free) for several years.

I am now living together with the man I love very much. We were married a couple years ago in California when same-sex marriages were legal. We live in a lovely home in a desert town just perfect for retirement.