Hello y'all. This is the second story I work on – the first one being Alex and Sebastian. I'll place the link for that one below.

Hope you guys enjoy!

http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/college/alex-and-sebastian/

A fellow reader made a playlist with most of the songs I've either used or will use in the A&S series. I've given him full control as to whether he wants a new channel for this story or just to continue on the original one.  If y'all want to listen to the previous one while reading the chapters, the link for it is this:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJZWEUrY9KRSfQ98rYlMYix46VM0CJ7XS

Songs on YouTube:

 

Chester See - Falling For You
Harry Styles- Girl Crush

I will keep you posted if another link is created.

Also, please don't forget to donate to nifty here, without which we wouldn't have this collection of great stories!

Every story is free on here, so please let's keep it that way and donate, guys.

http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html

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The Gender Swap Week

It wasn't cool, I know, but for the past week, I could do nothing but stare at my phone. I had saved Andy or Drew or whatever his real name was in my phone and I could do nothing but question whether I should ask to meet him again or not. While I decided that, I found myself continuing to text him throughout much part of my day.

 

Part of me wanted to delete the number. After all, he was Diana's boyfriend. I couldn't chase after another person already in a relationship. I couldn't do that to Diana - my newest and closest friend/mentor.

 

On the other hand, my own hand was getting kind of boring, if you know what I mean.

 

The fact that he was a basketball player like me made it even hotter, though. Shit, just thinking about our short time in that abandoned classroom was enough to make my pants feel a little tight.

 

Monday and Wednesday basketball practices were especially hard for me as all my teammates reminded me of him. Where Emanon hadn't interfered with my basketball playing, the simple thought of Drew very well did.

 

I have had a few girlfriends before but it had never felt like this. The fact that it was exciting to run around and text in secret was kind of hot. Considering what my situation with Michael was at the moment, I'm afraid to admit I liked the current attention.

 

At the moment, he and I were texting and asking each other if we could hang out after both of our basketball practices tomorrow.

 

Not knowing what to respond, I sighed and put my phone away as Mr. Holland walked out of his office and into the front of the choir room.

 

With a crisp clap, he asked us all to our seats and instructed us to listen. "This week, because a good chunk of you all will be heading to Corpus to compete with HOSA, we'll be keeping the practices short and fun."

 

I looked around the room trying to guess who, other than Tay and Diana, would be leaving for the HOSA competitions. Being at a magnet medical school, students from around the county would register to our school to get a jump start on their medical career. These students had the chance to compete in different fields after joining HOSA (Health Occupation Students of America).

 

Other students came to this school too, myself included. We'd get called "Normies" since we weren't part of the medical program and, instead, were simply just zoned to this campus.

 

While I continued to wonder who else was leaving, and fearing that one of those people would be Michael, Mr. Holland continued. "We wouldn't want the members gone to lose out on anything important," he smiled. "For those of you staying, this week's lesson is to help you loosen up and open your mind to a different perspective. There will be no paired performances this Friday but I will be drawing two or three individual names from a cup to perform what they practiced. This is just to make sure all of you take the assignment seriously. We don't want to slack off this week - the competition is still months away but we've got ways to go before then."

 

Mr. Holland had a curious look on his face. Having the memory of the Tone Wolves' performance fresh in my mind, I understood why he'd be a little unnerved. We were definitely some ways away from being on their level. Still, his face quickly turned to one of hope and confidence before he continued.

 

"What I want you to work on is a song traditionally sung by your opposite gender. Boys, look up songs traditional to women. Girls, work on songs traditionally sung by men. I want to see how you translate and interpret the emotions portrayed by the artists.

 

"If you can connect to them, you might be able to better connect with the judges and the audience come competition day. Remember that it's not just about hitting all the right notes - you have to make a connection with your audience in order to get to that next level."

 

With that information in mind, I looked over at Sam whispering something in Michael's ear. Likely already sharing ideas or asking his mentor for advice, I turned away from them as a wave of petty jealousy washed over me.

 

I could say I was jealous because my own mentor was leaving to compete in Corpus, but, really, I was just jealous that Sam had the opportunity to spend time with Michael.

 

Fuck it, I decided as we all made our way atop the bleachers on stage. If we wanted to win this upcoming competition and beat the Tone Wolves, we'd need all the help and practice we could get.

 

It was my duty to the group to ask for help to get better.

 

And who better for me to ask for help than the best male singer on our group: Michael.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Turns out my wave of confidence evaporated pretty quickly chickening out of talking to Michael after practice yesterday. I had kicked myself all last night about it so, when I saw him by his locker the following morning, I decided to just go for it.

 

"Hey, Michael." I walked over to Michael just as he swung his backpack over his left shoulder and closed his locker. He looked at me and a smile spread across his face - a smile that made me long for him even now.

 

"What's up, Darren?" He said and I blinked away the thoughts that made their way into my head.

 

"Listen, with Diana being gone for the week I - I was wondering if you could help me with this week's assignment."

 

I could see him thinking about my proposition. Maybe I was coming of as clingy. Maybe he actually didn't really like me. Before I could continue spiraling down in my own self-doubt, he spoke.

 

"That'd be fine, Darren. Not a problem. With Sam being gone, too, I need a partner for the week as well. I'm sure Mr. Holland wouldn't mind us helping out each other for the week."

 

I tried not to show how excited I was at the thought of spending some more time with him. "Great," I smiled. "That'd be really appreciated."

 

"Sure thing. How about you pass by my house tonight and we can practice something."

 

"Sounds like a plan, Michael. I should be out of basketball practice at around 5:30PM but I have some stuff to do after. Cool if I head there around 7:30?"

 

"Yeah, that works for me, Darren."

 

As he left, I caught myself staring at him walk away. He walked with so much confidence, it was all I could do from catching up to him and offering to walk with him to class. A slight shake of my head brought me back to reality and I walked off to my next period class alone, eagerly awaiting the end of the day so I could see him again.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Thanks for this, Kyle."

 

"No problem, man." He said, taking a sip of the red bull I had paid him to give me a ride to Drew's place after practice. "Tell me more about this girl, though, D."

 

I looked out my window as, according to our GPS, we were approaching Drew's place. "Well, you know, she's brunette, beautiful smile, perfect body."

 

I don't know why I had lied to Kyle in the first place but I was going to have to stick to it now that he had asked to borrow his older brother's car to drive me to Drew's.

 

"The whole package? Nice," he laughed, taking a right turn at the intersection. "And you met her when you went to go watch VMHS play with Tay?"

"Uh, yeah." I twirled my fingers, very conscious about my lying to my best friend. "I ran into her when I snuck away. I don't think Tay knows who she is, though."

 

"Well, let me know when we can all hang. It'd be great seeing what she looks like. She got a sister?" Kyle joked as we approached the entrance to Drew's subdivision.

 

"Um, I'm not sure. I'll make sure that's the first thing I ask her, though," I laughed, picturing the absurd scene.

 

"Please do. Little Kyle has been lonely since I broke up with Amber last month."

 

"You're a pig," I laughed, fully aware that, I, too, was a pig.

 

Hey, 17 is a very sexual age, ha-ha.

 

"Anyways, we're here." I pointed over to where the gate access computer was. "And, because I don't want you to fucking yell out that I have the clap like the last time you dropped me off at a girl's place, this is where I get off." Before he could lock the door, I opened it and jumped out. I closed the door behind me and laughed at the bewildered look on Kyle's face.

 

"Hey, that's not fair! I want to see her, too!"

 

I shrugged and laughed again. "Sorry, mate. Don't want you to fuck this up for me," I winked. Truth was, I didn't want him seeing Drew considering neither Diana or anyone else knew about him yet. The less people that knew about us, the better. "Thanks for the ride, though," I called out with a smile on my face.

 

I could hear Kyle laugh as he flipped me the bird and drove off. Laughing to myself, I punched in the code and walked the short distance to Drew's house.

 

I knocked on his door and waited a few seconds for Drew to open the door.

 

"Hey, Darren." Drew leaned forward and gave me a hug. "Come in, man." He smiled and moved aside to let me in. "Welcome to my house, Darren. Parents went out on a date - should be back later tonight."

 

The further I walked into his house the more I thought about what I was doing. The last time I had been with him I had been so over taken by feelings of sadness that I had almost hooked up with him. Now that I had time to think it through, maybe it would actually be better if I left instead.

 

Just as I turned around to excuse myself, Drew raised a PS4 remote and tossed it at me. "You down for some Call of Duty?" He asked with a smile.

 

Ah, first person shooters, my weakness.

 

So that's how Drew and I spent the first half hour or so. Despite the different campaigns we played, Drew found a way to joke and flirt as he shot through hordes of enemy shooters.

 

He was good.

 

"FYI," Drew said as he bit his bottom lip in concentration - something I had always found to be very attractive. I was never on the opposite side of the lip biting, though. "I - I kind of Facebook stalked you a bit."

 

"You what?" I laughed.

 

"I got curious about you so I looked you up on Face. You're friends with Diana so it wasn't very hard to find you, ha-ha."

 

Damn, I hadn't thought about doing the same for him. He was smart.

 

"Soo," I said, worried about what he might have learned about me. "What did you find?"

 

"I saw your pictures - the ones you took for your portfolio. You're pretty good, Darren."

 

I tried to fight back the blush that I felt coming. I doubt I was successful. "Thanks, Drew. I really appreciate that."

 

"Sure thing, Darren." After a few seconds he added, "You seem very interesting. I mean, part of Emanon so you're a performer. You're a photographer, an athlete - you're an all-around guy."

 

I was sure I was bushing now. "Thanks. You're not too shabby yourself. Athlete, part of your own choir. And you're fucking hot," I laughed. "You're a catch."

 

"Thanks," he said, sly smile on his face. "But I have a mirror - I know, ha-ha."

 

That elicited a genuine laugh from me.

 

"Hey, can I - can I ask you something?"

 

"Yeah, what's up?" I looked over at him, curious as to what he was going to ask.

 

"I'm just wondering," he twirled the game remote's knob and I looked at him, wondering why he was anxious. "How come you're single, dude? You're obviously fun to hang with - on top of that, you're a looker."

 

I laughed. "Thanks. I don't know really. I guess I'm just not interested in anyone right now."

 

"Ouch, I'm hurt," Drew feigned being shot and threw himself back on the couch. I laughed but noticed how the hem of his shirt had rolled up and his flat naval was revealed. I swallowed back a feeling of lust and turned back to face the TV.

 

"Shut the fuck up man, ha-ha." I slapped his thigh as I got killed on screen. "See, you've killed me."

 

"And you've killed me, Darren." He said while shooting me a perfect set of puppy eyes.

 

The way he smiled when he said my name made my stomach flutter. I've never had a guy look at me the way he was.

 

It was nice.

 

A quick thought made its way to my head and, like a bucket of ice water, sobered me up.

 

"Tell me more about Diana, Drew. I - I feel kind of bad about sneaking around behind her back." I looked away from him then, realizing that he, too, would likely chose his girl over me.

 

"Right, that. That is kind of complicated." He placed the remote down on the coffee table in front of us.

 

I raised an eyebrow, curious. "Complicated? Well, yeah. I can see why."

 

"Ha-ha." Drew shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair, "No, not like that. It's just - it has to do with Diana."

 

"Your girl. Right." I didn't mean to but I was sure he could hear the disappointment in my voice. "Maybe I should get going." I stood up, a feeling of shame coursing through my very veins. I couldn't believe what I was doing - shit, I wasn't that guy.

 

"No wait, please. Hear me out okay?" The look Drew shot me - another perfect puppy dog look - softened me up enough to sit back down on the armrest of his couch.

 

"What is it?" I asked.

 

"It's just - see, Diana isn't really my beard."

 

"Your beard?" I asked, unsure of what he meant.

 

"Yeah, beard. It's someone you go out with to cover up being gay."

 

Now I was really confused. If she wasn't his beard, what was she? "Ok, so, what then?"

 

"She's not my beard," he repeated, a worried look on his face. "I'm actually hers."

 

"You're what?" I asked, incredulous as to what he was implying. "You mean she- "

 

"Uhu," he said, simply. "I'm actually her beard. We've known each other since middle school. She knows about me and I know about her. Last year we decided to date to cover it up. Always been good friends so we decided to just kept it like that. Better our families not know or ask uncomfortable questions."

 

"So," I paused, trying to make sense of it all in my head. "You mean she's gay?"

 

Andrew shrugged. "Or bi. I'm not sure. She doesn't really like labels. She thinks those are for jars not people," he finished with a smile.

 

I nodded. This made sense, considering how much she had been pushing me to be open about my feelings with Michael. Still, knowing this about her made me feel a little uncomfortable.

 

"You're still her boyfriend. Are you sure she's okay with this?" I asked, referring to us.

 

A smile slowly appeared on his face. He walked closer to me until he stood only a few feet away. "She will be. Trust me. Even so, I know she's hooking up with someone in her school, too." Drew took my hands in his and pulled them up to his mouth. "I won't pressure her into telling me who it is but I figured, if she can do it, so can I."

 

Now that I knew me hanging with Drew wasn't really cheating, most of my anxiety dissipated. I still felt a little bad keeping this from Diana but I didn't want her knowing that Drew had told me about their arrangement without her knowledge.

 

"Is that just what I am?" I asked, my eyebrows raised in a curious look. "A hookup?" I teased.

 

Drew laughed and moved his face closer to mine. "You sir, you're something special," he said with a smile that made my knees want to give in.

 

I looked into his eyes and a feeling of nakedness and vulnerability filled me. "Sorry about this, lover boy," I smiled. "But I really need to go if I want to make it to my Emanon practice on time."

 

"Oh, come on," he shot me a sideways smile coupled with puppy eyes. Shit, it was going to be hard learning to say no to that face. "You sure you can't miss this one?"

 

I laughed noticing the mischievous glint in his eyes. "So you all can beat us during the competition? Yeah, no thanks. Diana would literally skin me, ha-ha."

 

"Well, if you can't stay, let me at least drive you there."

 

"Can't get enough of me?" I joked.

 

Andrew laughed and moved closer to me on the couch. "You're like a song on repeat in my head." Quickly, before I could register what he was doing, he leaned over and planted a kiss on my lips.

 

"Ha-ha, you can't bribe me with kisses, Drew - no matter how soft your lips are," I laughed but was very aware of the ringing in my ears.

 

"Oh, yeah?" At this, he leaned his head over back to mine but this time I was ready for him. Instead of catching me by surprise, I closed the small distance between us and kissed him back.

 

His left hand traveled up my back and rested on the back of my head. I felt his hand get a firm grasp of my hair as he pushed me closer to his mouth. Our warm tongues explored each other as he rolled over to lay on top of me.

 

His hands traveled down my sides and held my waist as we continued to kiss. Playfully, I decided to bite his lower lip which elicited a moan from Drew. A small laugh escaped me at this and we broke our kiss.

 

"I can see you liked that," I said, feeling a hard mast pressing against my stomach. I looked down and, sure enough, I could see the fabric of his pants stretched very taut. "Unfortunately, I really do need to leave, Drew."

 

"You can't leave me alone like this, Darren," he laughed and looked down at his crotch. "I kind of wanted to ... keep going. If you know what I mean, ha-ha."

 

"You're not alone, Drew," I smiled, a hint of mischief in my eyes. "You have this," I grabbed his right hand and placed it in front of his face.

 

He was confused for a second before a stupid grin broke on his face. "Ha-ha, okay that's cold."

 

I leaned forward and planted a quick peck on his lips. "We can save that for next time."

 

It wasn't a question but Drew nodded. "Okay. Next time." He got off from on top of me and outstretched his hand to help me up. "I'll give you a ride to your practice, though."

 

"You sure?"

 

"Of course," he smiled, softly. "Like you said, I can't get enough of you, ha-ha."

 

The sexual tension and flirting continued throughout the drive to Michaels. I felt so at ease with Drew, I had almost forgotten where we were headed until we parked in front of Michael's house twenty minutes late.

 

"Thanks for the ride, Drew," I said, leaning through the open window. "I owe you one."

 

"I'll hold you to that," he winked. I shot him one last smile before I walked towards Michael's front door.

 

Having just left Andrew's, my feelings for Michael were pushed to the back of my head. We ran through a few scales and practiced previous songs. For the most part, I had gotten a good hang of playing guitar and singing, even Michael agreed. The one thing I genuinely needed help with was to add some ... soul to my singing.

 

When I mentioned this to Michael, he nodded and offered some advice.

 

"The thing about singing," Michael shared as I stared intently at him - not wanting to lose out on any important thing he might say, "is that you have to really connect with what you're singing. That's how you get a believable and real performance judges and audiences remember. If you're open and vulnerable to a song's message, you have a higher chance of eliciting a response from your audience. You can't just sing about being sad or lonely or happy - you have to believe it. You have to feel the anguish and longing the writer felt in your own throat as you sing."

 

Michael must have seen the look on my face as he smiled and slowed down. "Did you get all that?" He laughed.

 

I blinked away my confused look and nodded. "Yeah, relate to what you're singing. Got it."

 

Michael laughed again. My own heart leapt at the sound. "It's not just relate to it. You have to put yourself in the writer's shoes. You have to take what they're saying and make it a part of you." His eyebrows furrowed a bit at the thought of something. "Maybe it'd be better for me to show you?"

 

My eyes widened a bit in surprise. A chance at having him play something just for me? Hell, yeah.

 

"Yeah," I agreed. "Maybe that would help me understand what you're saying a little better."

 

Michael smiled again as he walked over to where his guitar laid on the floor. He picked it up and rested it on his lap. "Try to listen to the words I sing and how my voice weaves emotion into them, D." I nodded and he continued. "It's a song by Chester See that I've been practicing for a couple of weeks. Tell me what you think, aright?"

 

He inhaled and exhaled for a few seconds before finally beginning to strum.

.

"I don't wanna tell you that I long to see your face.
I'm scared it might scare you away.
And I don't wanna tell you that sometimes I think of you and smile.
'Cause time with you is time enough for now."

.

 

I could only stare as Michael's hands seemed to glide across his guitar's neck in the shapes of the different chords. He looked down as he continued to sing which allowed me to focus on his face.

 

As he sang, his face expressed such longing and pain, I could almost touch the sadness in his voice.

 

His voice continued to rise and fall through the verses - almost like ocean waves crashing back and forth near the shore. The control he held over his voice was impressive, to say the least.

 

.

"But I don't know how long I can stick around and be
Just another friend time and time again and hold my tongue.
I don't know how long before it breaks me down inside.
And all my strength has gone away, and it's too late before I say..."

.

 

I retreated into my own thoughts at the sound of his singing. I could pretend I was over him as much as I wanted but the truth was ... I just wasn't.

 

The way he bore his soul in his song was so precious, so tender, there was no way I could ever be over him. I, myself, wasn't sure how long before my very longing for him would completely break me down inside.

 

My eyes wandered over him, from his hands, to his face, to the way his grey eyes seemed lost in his own song.

 

God, he was beautiful.

 

.

"I'm trying hard to be myself but I always seem to fail.

I'm afraid I'm not the guy you know so well.
Cause every time I'm near you I just seem to lose my head.
And spend my time admiring instead.

.

 

And that's what I did; I admired him.

 

Despite him having a girlfriend, despite me talking to Andrew, I couldn't help but admire his talent, his voice - his whole self.

 

As he sang, I fell more and more for him - it was all I could do.

 

At that thought, Michael finally looked up at me. His sad, grey eyes meeting my admiring blue ones. God, if I could stop time at this moment I would.

 

To be alone with him now as he sang was such a privilege - but it was also excruciatingly painful.

 

No matter how much time I spent with him or how much I wanted him - he was with Vanessa. I had finally met her last week and realized how perfect she was for him. They were all that they could want for each other. She was beautiful and talented and confident and I was ... well, I was me.

 

I was a dude.

 

At that, my gaze broke his and I looked away. Nothing I did or said would ever change that.

 

I shouldn't entertain any ideas of him. I knew how this was going to end.

 

Still ...

 

.

"I'm torn between the chance for everything and a price that I can't pay.

Losing you is something that I'd never choose so I'll just have to wait.
But it kills me every day."

.

 

At his words, I found myself looking back at him. To my surprise, he was still looking at me. The way he was looking at me made my stomach flutter and my hands begin to sweat. It was almost like he was singing just to me. Sadly, I knew that he wasn't. I gave him a small smile despite my heart beating like crazy and tried my hardest not to let the sadness inside me be reflected on the outside.

 

If it worked, I couldn't tell but Michael continued to sing and I continued to want him.

 

.

"I'm falling for you.

I'm falling for you.

I'm falling for you.

I don't want to tell you that sometimes I think of you and smile."

.

 

Quietly, like the setting of the sun, he ended his singing. Slowly, then all at once, I snapped out of my trance.

 

"That was - ahem - that was really good, Michael." I rearranged myself on the chair I was sitting, hyper aware of my own body.

 

Michael seemed to think about something for a few seconds before he cleared his throat. "Thanks, Darren." All at once, his usual smile returned to his face and he looked nothing like the sad and yearning guy who just sang his heart out. "You should bring your guitar over and we can practice a bit more."

 

I looked to my right where my guitar laid on the floor. "Yeah, okay. I'm ready," I said.

 

Whatever weird vibe had been present during his singing didn't show up in the next hour we practiced together. I was even beginning to think I might have even imagined it. In any case, by 9PM, we were done practicing and I found myself picking my stuff up and putting it away.

 

"Hey, D."

 

I turned my head in Michael's direction and finished stuffing my Emanon notebook in my backpack. "What's up?" I asked.

 

"Are you down for a quick stop at Starbucks? I can drop you off at your place afterwards if you want."

 

"Oh," I said as nonchalantly as I could. "Yeah, that'd be cool. A warm scone sounds good about now."

 

"Then it's settled. Hop in my car, D."

 

The whole ride there, I couldn't get enough of Michael. I asked him about his family, plans after high school, hobbies. I wanted to learn everything I could about him.

 

"You know," he laughed a hardy laugh, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was being interrogated," he joked as we parked outside of Starbucks.

 

"Ha-ha. Sorry, just wanted to know more about my teammates, you know," I said, flashing him my white boy smile.

 

I made my way inside first as Michael hung back to answer his phone. I ordered a scone with a 12 oz. coffee. Michael walked in later and ordered a frap along with a cinnamon roll.

 

As he sat down, a smile broke across his face. "You waited," he said, referring to the scone that laid uneaten in front of me.

 

"Of course, ha-ha."

 

As he sat down I took a sip of my coffee. "So you mentioned you were from Austin. What would you do for fun up there?"

 

"Just - you know - whatever good kids do," he said with a joking smile.

 

"Is that so, ha-ha."

 

"Yeah," he laughed. "Well, honestly, I'd love to go out downtown - 6th street, really - and just listen to the street performers play. The nights there were just beautiful. I miss those the most."

 

I nodded. With how much he enjoyed to perform, I'm sure I could understand why he'd miss Austin so much.

 

"But enough about me, Darren. What about you?" He took a sip of his frap while still keeping eye contact. "Tell me about your family."

 

"My family?"  I took a sip of my coffee, unsure where to start. "Well it's just my brother my mom and me. Dad left us when I was 6."

 

"Your dad left?" Michael put down his frap and looked at me, worry in his eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that."

 

"Yeah, thanks," I said, not wanting to look into his eyes. "I remember a few things about him. Learning to ride my bike with him. A few fights when I was small. Hell, he even bought me my first camera. It was a disposable, cheap one – I was five I didn't know any better. I loved it."

 

"Are you mad at him - for leaving?" He asked, cautiously.

 

I shrugged. "I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, yeah, I'm mad that he left us. It's just been so long, I got tired of being mad. We've come a long way since then. My brother, Jay, and I grew super close since then. He's actually studying up in Austin at the moment."

 

"UT?" He asked, referring to The University of Texas at Austin.

 

I nodded. "Yeah, he got a place up there with his partner. They're both going to UT."

 

Michael shot me a curious look. "Partner?" He asked.

 

I gave him a shy smile. "Yeah, partner. They're really happy, though. You'd like Alex, he's just as talented as you. Maybe even more," I teased.

 

"Ha-ha, well that's something I'd have to see to believe."

 

A smile began to form in my face but just as quickly it disappeared as I saw a familiar face walk through the door.

 

Vanessa.

 

She looked around the room until she spotted the back of Michael's head and made her way towards us. She wrapped her hands over Michael's eyes and my heart dropped.

 

"Guess who," she asked with that beautiful voice of hers.

 

"Babe, who else could it be," Michael said with a grin.

 

Vanessa removed her hands from Michael's face and kissed his cheek. She looked over at me and smiled. "I'm Vanessa, nice to meet you."

 

I nodded and shook her hand. "Darren here. I met you last week when we went to your school to watch y'all perform."

 

"Oh! You're in Emanon with Michael! Nice," her brown doe eyes wrinkled at the edges when she smiled. "I can't wait to see what you all come up with for the competition." She gave Michael a glance before adding, "I already told Mike that we weren't holding back this year. We're going for the repeat win again."

 

I never knew how much I liked Michael's name until I heard him be called Mike. It was like she had perverted such a simple and pure thing.

 

"She thinks they're taking that trophy again, D. I told her they won't know what hit them. Darren here is one of our best singers," he said, proud look on his face.

 

"Really?" Vanessa looked intrigued. "I would love to hear what you got. Michael doesn't say that about just anyone."

 

I looked over at Michael and he shot me back a proud smile.

 

Before I knew what was happening, she pulled up the chair next to Michael and sat down. Just like that, our time together was up.

 

For the next twenty minutes, Vanessa hogged the conversation talking about herself and what her team was working on. Even as she talked to me, she'd steal glances at Michael or would rest her hands on his thigh.

 

God, I wanted nothing more in this moment than to feel what it felt to be her. To have a boyfriend like Michael, one I could flirt with and laugh with and casually rest my hands on.

 

A small sigh escaped me as I realized that I didn't really want that.

 

I wanted to be in Vanessa's shoes.

 

I wanted Michael.

 

It seems I might have zoned out a good part of the evening as the next thing I knew, Michael had stood up.

 

"Well, we better leave, babe. It's getting late and I still need to go drop off Darren at his house. I'll see you this weekend, though."

 

"Yeah, okay, Mike." Vanessa gave Michael a cute smile and kissed him goodbye. I forced myself not to make my jealousy obvious so I looked away. I only turned back when Michael asked if we were good to go. I nodded and said my goodbye to Vanessa, too.

 

We made our way back to his car and we drove back to my house in an odd silence. Whenever we did speak, it'd be in short and insubstantial sentences.

 

It was mainly my fault, though. I couldn't get him and Vanessa out of my head. And that kiss ... that kiss was there every time I closed my eyes.

 

Michael parked his car outside our neighborhoods gate. I unbuckled my belt and reached for the handle.

 

"Thanks for tonight, Michael," I said, forcing myself to not think about how the night was ending. "I appreciate you helping me out."

 

"Not a problem," Michael smiled at me. "Anytime, Darren."

 

I fist bumped him goodbye and stepped out of his car. I did my best not to turn around until I reached my gates keypad. I typed in the code and heard the mechanical gate click. Turning around, I waved a final goodbye to Michael and made my way to my house.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Having spent the past Tuesday and Thursday practicing with Michael, I felt prepared for the random performances today I had even showed up early.

 

Sitting next to Ileana, I waited for the remaining club members to arrive. In the end, it was only Ileana, Alyssa, Michael, Sara and me. After hearing a beautiful rendition of Michael Buble's Save the Last Dance for me by Alyssa, Mr. Holland was ready to draw another name from his cup.

 

I stared intently at the front of the stage, trying my hardest not to let my eyes wander to my right where Michael sat.

 

"Ok, next up," Mr. Holland pulled out a small strip of paper and read the name out loud. "Next up is Darren." He shot me a confident smile and asked for me to join him upstage.

 

Before I did, Michael grabbed my arm. "Don't forget what we talked about, Darren. You got this, good luck," he whispered. I gulped and nodded.

 

Making myself comfortable upstage, I closed my eyes, let out a deep breath, and began to sing the gender swap song I had landed on.

 

Honestly, song selection had been difficult for me until Vanessa had joined us at Starbucks a few nights ago. It was then, when I had found myself staring at the way she looked at Michael, that a song came to mind.

 

Now, here it was.

 

.

"I got a girl crush.
Hate to admit it but
I got a heart rush.
It ain't slowing down."

.

 

Slowly, I opened my eyes. Even with only five members, having the rest of my team giving me their undivided attention, I could feel my nerves try to overtake me.

 

Luckily, I remembered Michael's advice a few nights ago. I aimed my sight at a spot just above everyone's heads and could feel my nerves begin to subside.

 

.
"I got it real bad.
Want everything she has.
That smile and that midnight laugh
She's giving you now."

.

 

The whole point of this lesson was to open ourselves up to a different perspective - to loosen up. At the moment all I could think about was how scary it'd be for even one of my teammates finding out I had a crush on not one but two different guys.

 

A small movement caught my eyes and I turned my head just a little to see Michael smile and give me a thumbs up.

 

A small smile threatened to form on my lips when I looked at him but, just then, something crazy happened. All I could think about at that moment was how that was the same smile he'd give Vanessa. All at once, she was all I could think about.

 

.

"I don't get no sleep.
I don't get no peace.
Thinking about her
Under your bed sheets."

.

 

That's when the full scale of what Michael was talking about hit me. Suddenly, I was engulfed in the words I was singing. I thought back to the first time I saw Michael - the first time I ever saw his face.

 

I was taken aback by how beautifully he sang that his voice and his song were stuck in my head for days.

 

Now, even though he looked at me encouragingly and admiringly, all I could think about was how many times he and Vanessa must have kissed and cuddled and held each other.

 

Sitting on that stool, on stage with everyone watching me, I was being driven crazy by the want of having what Vanessa had.

 

.
"The way that she's whispering.
The way that she's pulling you in.
Lord knows I've tried.
I can't get her off my mind."

.

It stung like crazy, having these feeling for him - for Michael. When I saw Vanessa sit next to him so comfortably - so at ease - at Starbucks, it made me long to be anywhere else.

 

God, I hated how I felt.

 

I hated not being the one in his arms. I hated not being included in his life the way she was. I hated wishing for something that would only fall apart.

 

.

"I want to taste her lips.
Yeah, 'cause they taste like you.
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume."

.

 

My heart broke further with every word I sung.

 

I could empathize with the writer of the song far too much it was excruciating. I wanted nothing more than to be in Vanessa's skin for just a moment. I wanted to have Michael look at me that same way - to hold my hand the same way.

 

I was drowning in my own want for him - I could feel a knot begin to form in my throat. I blinked away the stinging feeling in my eyes and realized, when I felt a wetness on my right cheek, that I had let out a few tears.

 

.
"I want her long blonde hair.
I want her magic touch.
Yeah, 'cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much.
And I've got a girl crush.
Oh, I got a girl crush."

.

 

I turned away as I sang the last words of the song and used the back of my hand to wipe my eyes dry. Before I could stand, Mr. Holland began clapping his hands and let out a cheer.

 

"Now THAT'S how you connect with a song! Good work, Darren!"

 

I let out a small laugh as the rest of the club joined in with a polite applause. Before I could fully bask in the relief of having finished the song, I looked over to where Michael was.

 

A proud smile was present in his face. I whispered a small thank you as he nodded back a welcome.

 

Even as I turned away, I couldn't help but picture his arms wrapped around Vanessa.