Date: Tue, 5 Apr 2011 18:47:09 -0500
From: Aaron Saxon <a.saxon1122@gmail.com>
Subject: Chapter 4 - Everybody Hates Me; gay male/high school

We made pretty good time on our way home. There was light traffic that
afternoon on the I-10.

We pulled up to our house at about 3:00 pm Friday afternoon. Not much had
changed since I'd been there last, that was a good thing I thought to
myself. I tried to be happy about finally being home, but I couldn't be
because Edwin wasn't with me. My thoughts were always on him and I cried
out in pain. It hurt so much to be away from him. My father and brother
helped me in the house quickly and I took a seat on the large sofa in the
living room.

I let depression take me over. I curled up in the corner of the sofa and
cried.  Jamie ran and got me a blanket. He placed it on top of me and it
was his turn to act like the big brother. He sat next to me and rubbed my
head until I fell asleep. I woke up about three hours later to see that
Jamie hadn't left my side and my father was in his favorite chair snoring
lowly. My stomach was growling rather loudly. It was enough to awaken my
father and Jamie from their sleepy state. Jamie crawled right up next to me
and buried his head in my chest. I began to rub my hand through his
hair. He was breathing softly and smiling against me.

"Hi, son. You feel like eating something?" Our father asked. "Yea," I said,
my stomach grumbling again.

I got a little embarrassed after that. My father got up, came over to us
and rubbed our heads.

Just then there was a knock on the door. Our father said he'd get it. It
was Carter. He said had to do his homework and do his chores, but wanted to
make sure he came over and saw me. The minute I saw Carter I began to tear
up again. I knew at some point I'd have to stop crying, but I guess not all
the hurt was out yet.

Jamie got up and gave Carter a hug. He rubbed his head and then came by and
sat next to me.

"How are you doing?" He asked me. "I'm sad and I'm missing Edwin." He
rubbed my head and then pulled me into a hug. "I know I'm not Edwin, but
does this help?" "Yea, it does. Its been a long time since you've done
that." He let go of me, I really didn't want him to but I could see that
was making him uncomfortable. So we bumped fists and I got up.

"Go take a shower, son, we're leaving in half an hour. Carter will you help
Kevin upstairs?" "Sure thing, Mr. Elliot." "Can Carter come too?" I asked
my father, kind of pleadingly. "I don't see why not. I'll give your mother
a call Carter and see if she's ok with you coming along." My father stated.

It was about a quarter to eight before I came back down. Nothing special,
but Carter did help me to get dressed. I didn't get aroused around my best
friend or anything. He just helped me put my pants on and a t-shirt.

It would still be a few days before I'd have to think about school and I
really didn't want to be alone, so I asked Carter to spend Friday night and
Saturday with me. He agreed and his mom said yes.

We went to Applebee's for dinner because I was craving one of their
signature burgers. Carter sat to my left, while my dad and Josh sat on the
other side of the table. Sitting at the table like we were made me think it
was all finally coming together again, like it had always been this way. It
hadn't been this way since the accident. We finished eating, my father paid
the bill and then we went by Carter's house so he could get some things for
our sleepover. I still couldn't believe he'd agreed to it. I guess he
really was still my best friend.

It was after 10:00 when we got back to our house and I still hadn't heard
from Edwin. Carter noticed at me staring at my phone several times. He
finally said, "He's probably working. He'll call when he can." I decided to
text him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God, it'd been a long day. I got wrangled into working a double shift
because we were short handed and I could use the extra money to do
something special for Kevin. I was so tired by 11:30 pm that Pam, one of
the overnight nurse coordinators said I could go catch some z's and she'd
come get me when they needed me. I thanked her and went and found an empty
room to sleep in. I was really treated like a son by everyone there. It was
nice because since I'd come out to my parents, I didn't have much of a
relationship with them. I settled on nursing right out of high school and
managed to secure all the loans I needed by myself, well I had a little
help from a family friend who worked here too. So within 2 years, I was a
licensed nurse. Yep, I'm 20 years old and am already doing something I
loved. I am so fortunate to have met Kevin when I did, I know he had been
in an serious accident, but until I saw his beautiful face, I had given up
hope of ever finding love for myself.

As I was about to close my eyes, my phone began to vibrate.

Kevin: Hi cutie, haven't heard from you all day. Wanted to know you were if
you were ok?

Edwin: Yea, I'm just fine babe. I'm in the middle of working a double shift
and am pretty tired. Gonna catch some z's.

Kevin: Oh. Sweet dreams baby. Call me tomorrow?

Edwin: You know it.

After that I was zonked out for several hours, until I heard a whole bunch
of noise outside the room I was in. Suddenly, the door flung open and I was
told I was needed. There had been a car crash involving two drunk
drivers. One of them was clinging to life, while the other one was
thrashing about on the bed. We had to restrain him and we finally got him
sedated. Almost immediately, I turned my attention to the other driver, but
just as I was about to enter the other emergency room, he was pronounced
dead. "Time of death: 2:06 a.m." was all I heard.

The other driver made it, he was lucky to have had no more than lacerations
and a concussion. He was fit, but came dangerously close to losing his life
because of his stupid decision to drink and drive, I thought to myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter and I decided to play some x-box to get my mind off of Edwin, it
didn't work really well, but I was glad he was trying. I hadn't expected
Carter to be so great about this. I figured he'd be disgusted with me, call
me a fag and out me at school, but I'm sure John did a good job of that. I
hadn't seen him since we got back. I guessed he didn't want to see me and
was crashing at a friends house. I knew that Jamie was already asleep and
he continued to surprise me everyday.

We decided to get ready for bed around 12:30 am and I was surprised when
Carter got into bed with me and cuddled against me. I knew he wasn't gay,
but I decided not to question it too much. After all, it was Carter's
decision to do that and I was going to accept it for what it was...him
being my best friend. We used to do this all the time when we were
younger. He gently rubbed my head and wiped a tear from my face when I
said, "Carter, thanks for being my best friend and not abandoning me."
"You're welcome, Kevin and I would never abandon you." Not long after, we
were both asleep.

I had a strange dream that night. "Dearly beloved we are gathered here to
unite these two people in holy matrimony."

I couldn't make out the faces of any of the people there. It was only
really a quick dream, but according to Carter I woke up with a big smile on
my face. "Have a nice dream?" Carter asked me as I opened my eyes. "Yea,
but it was strange." I said. "How so?" Carter questioned. "I was at a
wedding, but I couldn't make out any of the faces." I stated. Cater didn't
know how to respond, so he just rubbed my head and slid out of the bed. He
said he had to take a leak. I followed suit about two minutes later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edwin had only been sleeping a few hours before he started to have a
nightmare.  Kevin and him were walking together when they were jumped from
behind. He couldn't make out their assailants faces, but they were holding
Edwin back and they were beating Kevin up. They knocked him to the ground
with a couple punches to chest and stomach. While he was wailing in pain,
they started kicking him. When they were reasonably sure he was
unconscious, they let Edwin go and ran away.

Edwin woke up in a cold sweat, looked over at the clock and knew he had to
call Kevin to make sure he was ok.

He quickly dialed Kevin's phone number.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I was exiting the bathroom, my phone was vibrating. Carter picked it up
and said, "Kevin, it's Ed calling."

I ran over to my phone and flipped it open. It was one of those flip black
berries. I quickly said, "Hi baby."

"Kevin, baby are you alright?" He asked with panic in his voice. "Ye Ed,
I'm fine. What's wrong?"

He quickly recounted his nightmare to me. "Oh my god, Ed, are you alright?"
I asked visibly shaken.

"I'm coming right over." Edwin said to me and before I could tell him it
wasn't necessary, the phone hung up.

Carter asked me what was wrong and I told him about Edwin's dream. I had
tears in my eyes and he reached out and held me, letting me rock gently
against him.

We didn't hear a knock on my bedroom door. A moment later, Shawn and Gus
appeared in the room. They were about to say something, but when they saw
me, they ran over and gripped my hand and shoulder.

After I was calmed down, which took about twenty minutes, we decided to
play some x-box 360. We played NCAA 2K11 for about an hour, then we decided
to go swimming.

About 12:30 pm, I heard the doorbell ring. I quickly jumped out of the
pool, wrapped a towel around my waist and ran to the door. When I opened
the door, Ed was standing there with a worried look on his face. The moment
he saw me, his face started to straighten as he said, "Oh my god Kevin, I'm
so glad your ok." He reached out and pulled me into his strong arms. "Of
course I am baby." I said. He cupped my head in his hands and kissed me all
over my face and then laid a passionate kiss on my lips. We stayed like
that for several minutes until we heard an "Ahem" from behind us. It was
Carter. "Um guys...why don't come back out to the pool?" A little
embarrassed, I led Ed out to the pool where Shawn and Gus were.

The mood quickly changed as Shawn and Gus got up to greet Ed. They clapped
Ed on the shoulder to assure him everything was fine. "We won't let
anything happen to your boy, Ed." Shawn and Gus said together. Carter
cleared his throat as if to say, "what about me?" "Oh and yea, this one
over here won't either." Gus said laughing. Carter started to blush and
then all of us broke out in laughter.

Just then my father and Jamie returned home from his little league
practice. "I know, who has practice on a Sunday morning?" I thought. John
followed suit and hearing the laughter, quickly ran upstairs and slammed
his bedroom door. When Jamie heard the noise out by the pool, he hurriedly
ran out and into my arms. Wrapping his arms around my waist he looked up at
me and started to cry. I asked why he had tears in his eyes? He told me
because he was so glad I was home and he had dreamed of this moment for a
long time. I leaned down rubbed my hand through his hair and kissed him on
his forehead. "Go get your swimsuit on, little man, and come back so we can
play." He sprinted faster than I've ever seen him run before and it seemed
mere seconds later he reappeared.

My dad came out about an hour later and asked if we were hungry. Did he
need to ask, I thought. We are after all growing teenage boys. We jumped
out of the pool and went into the kitchen. My father had already taken out
sandwich meats, cheese and mustard and mayo. We were all joking and
laughing, when John came downstairs and passed right by us grabbing a
soda. "Son, why don't you join us?" My dad asked. John just huffed and
glared at me. As he stormed out he said, "No thanks, not while the fags are
here." That made us all turn red. Shawn, Ed and my dad balled their
fists. I just sat stunned. What happened to John saying he was sorry? I
thought with tears in my eyes again.

"Boys, stay right here. I'm going to talk to my brat of a son. I'll be
right back." My dad said.

My father exited the kitchen and stormed up the stairs to John's room. He
didn't bother knocking. I could hear the door slam against the wall and
then slam shut again. I didn't hear the conversation, but I heard muffling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What the hell is wrong with you, John?!" Our father shouted at him. "What
do you mean what is wrong with me?! There's nothing wrong with me, it's all
those fags downstairs that there's something wrong with!" Our father never
raised a hand to either of us, but raised his and hit John across the
face. I would see the bruise later. Still shouting, "Don't you ever use
that word again in this house!" "Oh, and what are going to do if I do?"
John shouted back. "Kick your ass out of my house and send you back to your
mother." Our father yelled back. Right then John felt really unwanted. "Mom
doesn't want me there, she kicked me out and said to not come back." "Well
son, what does that tell you?" Our dad asked calmer now.  John just sat and
thought for a moment, but before he could get anything out, our dad spoke
again. "Your mom left US son and not because Kevin is gay, we`d been
fighting for a while. She was having an affair." "Oh my god," John said out
loud. "I've been such an idiot. I have to go and apologize to Kevin, for
real this time."

John came walking into the kitchen and the first thing we noticed is the
welt under his left eye and red cheek.

He went to the freezer to grab some ice to put on it. "What happened?" I
asked a little sheepishly. I wasn't even looking at him when I asked. His
look at me looked like daggers, but it soon softened and he half smiled at
me. I was stunned. Before I could even think, John spoke. "Kevin, Shawn,
Gus...I owe you guys all an apology. For real this time." He was wincing in
pain as our father came into the kitchen. John did something next that
stunned all of us.

John came over to where I was sitting, Ed began to get up between us, just
as John leaned down and wrapped his arms around me, something he'd never
done before. "I'm really, really sorry Kevin, this time I mean it." He said
and kissed my head.

End

If you would like to see more, email me at a.saxon1122@gmail.com