Date: Thu, 22 Dec 2005 17:06:30 -0700 From: Samuel Forte' III Subject: finding andrew-chapter 9 ** This story is a true story, telling of people and events that have taken place in the last three to four years. I have the consent of the others who are involved to use them, but no last names will be used for privacy reasons. This story will focus around two people as they stumble upon each during high school and find themselves falling for one another. They are able to survive the trials, tribulations, and difficulties that are thrown at them and from each other until everything comes to an abrupt end...All rights to this story are mine (lol well it is based on MY experiences) so no copying or publishing without my consent!** Finding Andrew Chapter 9: Confronting Our Pasts - Andrew's "Where Are My True Friends?" **His little story will be told from my point of view...I still remember it for the most part, but if it sounds a little funny it will probably be because I forgot a few of the details. I'm pretty sure that I got most of it though.** Andrew knew the truth about him himself at the age of nine. No, that's not a typo. I never understood how he came to terms with something that impacted him so much at such a young age. His family was a church going family so he knew that being gay was viewed as being wrong. He did a good job of keeping it to himself until he got to the 7th grade. He ended up attending five different middle/junior high schools for 7th and 8th grade combined. Why? Because when it came down to it, he wasn't able to keep his feelings from exposing himself. At the start of his 7th grade year, his best friend was Max who was in the same grade. They grew up as next door neighbors and really got along great. I believe it was late in October when Andrew's world began to change. His parents would be out for the night at a party and Max was allowed to spend the night. Andrew knew that he had feelings for his best friend, but he was able to keep them to himself...until that night. They were watching a movie on TV when Andrew noticed that Max had fell asleep. Both had already showered and were in their boxers. Andrew tried not to look at his friend...his curiosity got the best of him. He slid over to the other side of the couch and found himself sitting right next to him. He had second thoughts about what was going to happen, but figured that he was a heavy sleeper. They had many sleepovers over the years and he knew Max would sleep through anything. He reached into his boxers with both hands and started to feel up his buddy. Max woke up with the sudden movement and looked down to find a terrified Andrew, caught in the act. He kicked him in the chest and ran to gather his clothes. He ran home and left Andrew to regret not being able to keep himself under control. I won't go into detail of what happened at school the following Monday, but you know how cruel kids can be. Even if he would have denied it, you know the kids wouldn't have believed him. Kids believe almost anything these days...if their friend says it, it must be true right? Needless to say, Andrew ended up becoming very depressed. He never told his parents or brother about what happened. Luckily Max didn't tell his parents what happened. Andrew wouldn't have been able to deal with his family finding out. His mom was very concerned about him closing up to everyone and basically being stuck in his shell. His grades dropped, he rarely spoke, he rarely ate. His mom decided that it would be good to move him to another school after the 2nd trimester. As hard as he tried, he wasn't able to shake the reputation that his friend had given him. It followed him to every school he went to and made him miserable. When high school finally came he was happy that he would be only a small fish in a big lake. He was looking forward for his chance to start over as his family moved across town so he would go to a new district altogether. Sierra High School seemed big enough where he could keep to himself. All he wanted to do was make it through the four years and than go to college out of state, free from harm. Things didn't turn out the way he had planned. The first day of school he bumped into an upperclassmen in the hallway. He was scared that the guy would blow up on him, but much to his surprise he was helpful. Andrew wasn't used to that and was at a loss of words for what to say. His fear took over as he didn't want to ruin his last chance to make it through school. He ran down the hall and hid in a bathroom trying to keep from breaking down into tears. He would be one of the first students to first period as he had PE. He sat on the bottom row so he wouldn't be able to let his guys get himself into trouble. He was shocked to find the guy that he bumped into less than ten minutes ago, burst through the door right as the bell rang. He got nervous as he took a seat right next to him. Thankfully, he didn't notice him. Andrew couldn't help, but stare as he found himself attracted to this guy for some reason. He stared at him most of the class as he couldn't take his eyes off of him. Towards the end of class he looked back and Andrew was again filled with fear. He looked away and wished that he could just run out of class at that moment. He was finding it harder and harder to keep his thoughts off of guys. He would sit at a distance during lunch trying to keep eyes on him and see what he was all about. He wanted to talk to him, but was nervous that he would find a way to mess it up like he did with Max. He was distressed to see that this guy had a girlfriend, but he saw that he wasn't really interested in her. He didn't know why, but he had a gut feeling that he would be right on this guy. He just didn't know how he would get this guy to notice him. The next time at PE, he made sure to get a locker right next to him. He had thought all about it the night before and was going back and forth on it. He saw that he was friendly so maybe he would be nice and talk to Andrew. He always heard stories that upperclassmen disliked the younger guys, but he saw something different in him. He was happy to hear they would have a swim test the next week. He would be able to see what this guy's body looked like. He was nervous when it finally came. He didn't want to seem too obvious about it, but he was really looking forward to it. Something about seeing thirty guys in nothing but swim trunks has that kind of effect. Andrew made sure that he was the last to change. He was surprised to see his eye candy walk in while he was changing. He was even more surprised to see that he was being checked out. The wheels started to spin in his head as things went from there... ** Back to the hospital room...** "I never knew that." I said shocked by his confession. "Of course...you weren't supposed to. I had to make sure that you were interested in me...like that. I didn't want a replay of Max to happen. He showed signs of being like me, but I didn't read him right. If I would have, I probably wouldn't have met you so I don't really regret it anyway." He said with a grin. "Well I'm flattered. You're a tough little guy." I said messing up his hair. "Hey, I'm not little!" We laughed as the room fell silent again. I had a lot of questions I wanted to ask, but I decided to save it for another day. I'm sure that the overload of information on both of us was more than enough...I thought at least. "There is one other thing." He said turning away from me. "What?" "What happened earlier today with Mario..." "You don't have to tell me. You just need to worry about getting better." "No, I need to tell you. I might as well since I told you everything else." (Again this will be told from my point of view...) ***************************************************************************** WARNING: THE FOLLOWING INCIDENT CAN BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME. IF YOU THINK YOU COULD BE ONE OF THOSE, PLEASE SKIP TO THE NEXT CHAPTER! IT IS TONED DOWN FROM THE ORIGINAL VERSION...THE ORIGINAL AND MORE DESCRIPTIVE VERSION WILL NOT BE POSTED! ***************************************************************************** They (Mario/Andrew) were walking back from the school late on a Saturday night as they were planning to hang out at Andrew's house. Mario had dumped Andrew, but Andrew still wanted to be friends with him. After what he did to Sam, he tried to get back in his good graces. Sam wasn't too receptive to his attempts and it had him down in the dumps. When Mario found out it led to an argument with Mario breaking his heart...just like he had broke Sam's. Well, when they got to Andrew's house, no one was home. Mario took the chance to force himself onto Andrew. Andrew was able to get him off and out of the house as he locked the door and sat in the living room to hear Mario yelling and screaming at him as he banged on the door. Eventually he left and Andrew sat crying on the couch. He was scared and had no one to turn too either. The friends he made at school didn't know about him, so he couldn't talk to them. Calling Sam would be a waste because he knew he wouldn't answer. He couldn't call his brother because he would have to explain everything to him...and he wasn't ready for him or his parents to know about him just yet. After half an hour, Andrew decided to take a walk and get some fresh air (a habit for him, as he used to call on his brother's cell phone while doing so). He couldn't have been walking for more than ten minutes when he left a sharp pain his arm. He fell to the ground and realized that he had been cut. He tried to get up and run when he was tackled to the ground. He than felt pain he'd never known as he felt fists and feet lay into from every direction. He would eventually be lifted up and held as the leader of the attackers came into view: Mario. He would verbally degrade him and cut him twice across the forehead with a blade. Mario would have done worse I'm sure, but thankfully someone happened to see what was going on. The guy yelled from the window and ran outside with a bat. Mario and his lackeys scurried off like rats into the night as the man helped Andrew into his house. He called 911 and waited by his side until the ambulance arrived...he ended up having to get 18 stitches in his forehead and arm. He also ended up with two cracked ribs... **Back to the hospital room...** I sat in silence as Andrew finished his story. I'm glad he didn't turn back to look at my face. I had a look that could kill. Mario had done some horrible things, but this way past the line... "You promised you wouldn't do anything." He said as he slowly turned over to face me. "I know, but..." "Be a man of your word. I don't want anymore trouble with him." "If I had my way..." "Really it isn't that serious..." "Not that serious!? Do you realize what could have happened if that guy wouldn't have stopped them!?" "I do...I just want it to end now. I don't want to worry about him through the rest of my time knowing you." I took a few minutes to think about what he said. Maybe doing nothing would encourage Mario to finally move on. I think Andrew realized why Mario was interested in him in the first place. I'm not going to go into that because I would have to go more into Andrew's explanation of earlier events which I don't want to do. I'm sure you can put the pieces together. "Ok you win. I'll leave him alone. You just know if he looks at you the wrong way, he'll have me to answer to." "Yes sir." He laughed. "So what now? Where do "we" go from here? The ball is in your court." "You honestly would want to go back out with me?" "Yes." "Even after what I just told you?" "Yea." "Even after what I did to you..." "Don't push it buddy. As a matter of fact, I don't want you to bring that up ever again. If you can do that, you have a deal." "I'm so lucky that you're a great guy. I won't blow this again. Trust me." He grinned as reached out to hug me. He pulled me in and gave me a quick peck on the forehead. "I'll check on you everyday. I should probably go now. Your brother must be irritated by now." "He'll get over it. He always does." We laughed and said our goodbyes. I walked back into the waiting room to find Jason talking on the phone while his parents were sleep. He quickly hung up the phone as we headed out to his car. On the way home, he was very talkative. "So, how do you know Andrew?" "We're in the same PE class." "And aren't you a junior? Friends with a freshman?" "Yes and yes. I'm not a bad guy." "So I've heard...so do you have a girlfriend?" Somehow I managed to keep my cool. Even though I would be a senior next year, talking to this one had me feeling very nervous. "I had one. We broke up earlier this year." "I see. You ever..." "I'd rather not talk about that." "Ok, ok. Just making conversation...Look all I'm saying is you better not mess with my brother. I don't know what has happened to him, but he trusts very few people these days. He doesn't even trust me anymore. I don't know you, but I've heard around school that you're a pretty good guy. Andrew says you're his best friend so I don't want my little bro having someone turn their back on him." "Ok. He's a good kid. You don't have to worry about me turning my back on him. I'm not like that." "Cool." I finally turned the subject off of me and asked questions about him. He was the lead swimmer at our school (which I knew already), an honor student, and would be going to school at Boulder (University of Colorado). We talked about stuff in general until we reached my house. "Sam, I appreciate you coming up there. He wouldn't talk to us. I'm happy that you could put a smile on his face tonight. I'll catch you later." I nodded and hopped the fence as he drove off. I slid back through the window. I fell into my bed, not bothering to change. I had a lot of thoughts floating around. I was happy that I had someone reliable to tell my past too. Mario knew too - before anyone else - but there was no way I could trust him now. I thought about what I should do with Mario. Was it worth trying to be friends with him? Was it even worth it to even talk to him after all of this? I was happy to be back with Andrew. Even after we broke up, I was still attached at the hip to him. Hate/Dislike is something that is very hard for me to feel and when I do, its hard to keep it. I told myself that I would never ever talk to him again. After I promised myself that, I was back with him anyway. Was it a mistake? Everyone says to follow your heart on those decisions, but was I right in doing that? Without Mario's influence, could Andrew do something like that again? Did Max's actions cause him to turn on me when he felt that I was doing that to him? I knew Mario had a big factor in it, but could Max and his past also effect his actions in the future? Did he ever get over Max? After staring at the ceiling for about an hour, I came to my answer. It would all be worth it to be with him. I would do whatever I could to make it work. ***************************************************************************** The end of C9. Almost a third of the way through this whole thing. So it looks like my heart and brain couldn't really agree, but my heart won out. We'll see what happens from here. We both knew each other's past so that would help us to understand each other more. With Christmas of 2002 around the corner, he had yet one more surprise for me. Look for it in the next 48 hours. Chapter 10: A Late Birthday Present