Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 01:13:21 -0500
From: magic2312@msn.com
Subject: The young and the dangerous

Sigh. being born around this dump has been hard and the estate we live in
is just barely livable.  People made fun us, but they know just as well
they are living as bad of a life as we did.  I never did much, but started
to notice things like how much respect the gangs around here got and money.
Oh yeah the money we need real bad and school wasn't cutting for us at the
moment.  When I say us I mean me and my best friend.  Well we met just when
he moved in here and basically grew up from there.  His name was Bobby.
Eventually though I found out things were getting weird between us the
first time we met.

Me and the gang when we were little saw this boy sitting at the corner.
"Yo Jason there is someone new moving in," My friend called out.  His name
was Steve and was kind of cute, but not that way like me you know. gay.
Brian took out his tooth pick and placed it on his lip and acted tough on
our new comer and pointing at him as he said, " this our territory and what
ever we say you do, DO you got a problem with that!"  Me, Steve, Ray,
snickered at Brian's remark.  Usually he is not much of a tough guy, but I
guess he wanted to change and take advantage of the poor kid.

The newcomer looked up slowly giving Brian the evil eye.  He took Brian's
pointing finger out of his face and stretched his arm on to his back as the
newcomer struck the back of Brian's leg grabbing hold of Brian's arm in one
quick motion.  Brian yelped and we came into help.  But by the time we took
one step a spin kick brought us all down.  Basically we were all shocked at
the kid and ran up to him.  Of course with caution because the newcomer was
a bit jumpy.  First I ran up to him and called out to him saying, "W.ow,
what you did up there was some crazy stuff.  Sorry, bout Brian fooling
around with yeh.  It wasn't serious or nothing we were just joking around."

He responded, "WELL. next time don't mess with me, ok?"

He walk a little quicker as I tried to catch up with him.  "WAIT WAIT. I
just want to be friends and forget about the whole thing, lets just start
over, here."

I extended my hand for a handshake, but he looked up rite to my eye and
stared for awhile.  Then I notice actually how beautiful he actually was.
He was about to shake it, but instead he just took back his hand from mine.

"Sorry um. my name is Bobby and I got to help my mom move stuff to our
apartment so see later."  He went up, but I grabbed his hand stopping him
and offered some help.  Bobby smiled and just gave me a box to go to his
apartment.  Amazingly we were going to the estate that I lived at.  Things
also got even more stranger when we got closer to MY apartment.  Eventually
he stopped rite across from my door.

"Well this is my apartment.  Well see you later." he said raising an
eyebrow.

" Oh its Jason, yeah see later, bye."  I replied

He opened his door which was across from my door.  We both opened our doors
and looked at each other before we closed it.  Hearing the clique from the
door I finally let out a huge sigh and whispered, " Bobby."  The next few
years we spent talking and hung out with some people.  Eventually we all
grown up to be 15 and still hanging out and causing trouble in our estate
that we lived in.  But mostly fooled around.

One day, Bobby came by my apartment, but just only him.  He said he needed
to talk.  So I was like, " ok fine by me."  Bobby entered the room a little
shaken as to what he was bout to say.  "Jason?  Um. huh I got something to
tell you."

"K go rite ahead I'm here for ya," I replied

stuttering now he opened his mouth and said, "Jason I."

We were soon interrupted as our door got swung open from our old buddies
Steve, Brian, and Ray.  Steve came up to me and asked, "hey. how you doing
Jason, we got something to show ya."

He dragged me out as all the others giggled in back of me as Steve showed
me the way.  Steve finally let go of my eyes and showed me a brand new car
sitting there on the road.  I gasped, " is it for me?"

Steve laughed out loud and answered, " HELL no. what are YOU thinking, this
is MY car, I was just about to take youz for a ride silly."

The group had a big laugh as they all jumped in and we took Steve's new car
for a joy ride.  I can tell this is going to be a fun day.  Yes.I can feel
the freedom with my friends.  Gushes of wind blowing through us as our
music blasted through the sound systems.  " This is my favorite street,"
Steve said as his eyes slowly clenched.

" Why?" I asked but before I could say anything else, we came across a
steep hill that eventually goes back straight, eventually.  The car
obviously flew like 10 feet from what I felt and landed with a huge thump.
As we continue driving you could actually see some sparks going from under
the car.  "Weeeee," is all that came out of my mouth.

Eventually we stopped on a warehouse, the day was beginning to get dark,
but I was on too much of a rush to bother.  I hyperly pounced up and down
repeating, " WOW, lets do it again, lets do it again."

"Nah, we got something to do today like meeting Snake."

" What!. You crazy we can't join him yet we are too young are we?"  My
voiced cracked a little from the sudden surprise.

" Well.we can join as a member and do little jobs for now, because in all
honesty, we really need the money," Steve said.

Every body nodded and the sad thing is that it was all true.  We really did
need the money.  Not just for school, but for us and the family that is
supporting us.  It was a tough desion, but I followed everybody which was
going in, except Bobby.  I saw him staring at nothing and he seemed to be
having a problem.  I asked him, " Bobby whats wrong?"

He looked up a little teary eyed saying, " Jason don't do it, I know what
these people do and what happens to them.  They always end up dieing.
Don't go please, I don't want this to happen to you too.  That's why I
moved here.  My dad was in a gang and he almost got me and my mom killed!"
He started to cry a little and breathing hard.

But before I could decide the ware house gate opened and lights flashed
upon us.  The lights gleamed across the wet floors as the gang leader
stepped out with his gator suit.  Wow.that's what I want to look like I
said to myself.  Snake came up to us and smiled.  His smirk was extremely
creepy and made me uncomfortable.  Bobby looked at me concerned, but with a
chance of a life time I had to take it.  I walked up to snake and he open
up to us with open arms.  With all his guards and guns around us, it also
made me uncomfortable.  And unbelievable amount of fear came to me as our
group went in to take a seat and discuss our options.

" Well, So you youngsters want to join the business," He said in an almost
mocking way.

Stuttering I responded, " Y. Ye. yes Sir."

I looked around and saw Steve, Brian, and Ray just as scared.  But Steve
with those glasses on made him look so cute and.WHAT the hell am I doing.
I am talking to a mob boss and all I can do is stare at Steve.  Well
eventually he continued, " here we take the braviest and the ones that
finishes the job.  What ever I say, you do, its that simple, and if things
get complicated I see what I can do."

Somehow the last phrase didn't make calm me down the least bit.  He got up
and gave us all cellular phones and might I add really nice ones before he
left.  We all ran back to the car and saw Bobby looking pretty pissed.

I went up and said, " Bobby look I had no choice I need the."

But before I could finish he just cut me off saying, " what do I care its
your life not mine, DO what ever you want."

 What he just said to me rite there, really hurt and Bobby saw my reaction
towards his last comment from the rear view mirror of the car.  We both
stared at each other and looked away and haven't said a word.  We drove
away to the night and not knowing what unpredictable things that might
happen to us, but I hope we could be safe with our group and still be
together.

Yeh. me and Bobby ignoring each other went on for a long time.  Most of
them knew something was up.  Brian spoke up, " SO. Ray what should we do
this weekend.  I was thinking all of us should go watch "Just Married" I
heard it was funny."

Well that sort of pointless conversation went on till we arrived at our
estate.  We went our separate ways, but since Bobby was just next door we
walked side by side.  Eventually I broke the ice Between us.  " Bobby look,
I really like you and I don't want to lose you just because of this stupid
gang thing.  Please don't do this."

Bobby sighed and responded, " Jason I care for you, but the gang thing is
scaring me and losing you might be to much for me."

He looked at me so caring and his eyes met mine.  I don't know suddenly I
felt drawn to them and couldn't resist.  I slowly leaned forward and gave
him the sweetest innocent kiss that I had to offer.  His eyes were widen
and he was so shocked he pushed me.

" What the fuck!" he shouted wiping his mouth, " eeewww you KISSED me.
What the hell Jason fucking fag."  Bobby just went up to his door and
slammed it shut rite in front me.  I was left alone in the hallway.  We
lived so close to each other, but yet now I feel like we have moved so far
apart.  WHY, why the fuck do I have feelings for him?  WHY, can't I just be
a normal person instead?  No, but instead God has to play this awful joke
on my life and probably sitting back on cloud busting out laughing.  Slowly
I felt tears rolling off my cheeks, the weird things they felt so cold.

I turned around and closed the door.  Whispering to myself, "why?"

 ----

Hope you enjoyed the story, and there is more to come.  So leave a comment
I would appreciate it.  Well this story is putting Bobby a freshman I like
in my St. Joseph school to a fictional story.  Truly though I have feelings
for him.  But eventually rumors got spread and he found out.  I am pretty
sure he hates me now, since I hear people say he is talking behind my back.
I never caught him do it though, but every time I see him he looked at me.
Not much of hate, but a little shyness to it as he hide behind his hoodie.
God he looked so cute like that.  Even with all these things happening I
still have feelings for him.  I told my second crush, Steve, what been
happening and he gave me the coldest reply ever given by him.  He said,
"look man, I don't care."  Ever since HE found out bout me telling him I am
gay, he been not as nice, cute, and sweet too.  God love rite now in my
life really sucks.  I just hope things and FAITH as it seems would lighten
up a bit and give me something to work with here.

Email me at: magic2312@msn.com